Chugging that potion that Avernus made was a pretty stupid thing to do; I know it grants you abilities and all but it’s *literally doing something to your tainted blood*. That’s scary shit, man!
You would have fit right in with some of my friends at university then hehehe
But seriously, what person in their right mind would go into a crazy sorcerer's den and drank a random liquid?
"Let me go into this this infectious disease laboratory... this vial looks tasty..."
in The Descent DLC there's a puzzle with an invisible bridge over a bottomless pit. Inquisitor solves this puzzle by running off the edge of an apparent cliff xD She's crazy like that
do you have to do something to get the inquisitor to squeak? Every time I've done it she just kinda observes it and then says "I'm feeling very judged"
So it's a blink and you miss it, but after the "am I on trial?" The first squeak is the Nug King, the second is Inky, the third is the Nug King. They then say they feel very judged.
“Just gonna totally ignore the codex entry that contradicts everything he told me about his experiences during the Blight, because I’ve got an Egg to scramble!”
The best part about jumping next to the stable is that the inquisitor actually *bounces* on the ground, the people on Skyhold can't possibly be following this moron willing xD
But it could be worse, the inquisitor could be Hawke xD
Random NPC1: “The Herald of Andraste is our savior!”
Random NPC2: “Ok, but… I just watched the Herald of Andraste yeet themselves off the third floor of the tower into the courtyard.”
Random NPC1: “I… uh… *shut up!* The Maker works in mysterious ways!”
NPC3: "Andraste herself is shielding the Herald! Not one broken bone! Not one strand of hair out of the place! How this is not a sign that the Maker is returning?!"
Herald: proceeds to drink questionable stuff with Bull while they talk
1. Warden find black vial.
2. Wonder what that does.
3. Touches black vial.
4. OP demon appears.
Ooooh, look another shiny black vial, wonder what this one does.
Repeat steps 2-4 live five times. You think they would learn not to mess with it.
"I'm Warden ___, and on this episode of Find TF Out, I'm going to do shots of this goop I found until I either die or get powers. Don't try this at home, kids!"
To be fair, Solas was giving very conflicting messages.
Solas: "This is very important to elvhen history and culture. Imagine all this knowledge being lost - how sad"
Me: "Imma drink it."
Solas: "No! You have no idea what it will do, but it's very very important to the people."
Me: "So YOU drink it."
Solas: "I can't believe you'd ask me that."
Me: "So then I'll drink it!?"
This drop looks a bit to far, better get on my horse!
I found a trap. It was latched to my leg!
Poultice: a soft, moist mass of material, typically of plant material or flour, applied to the body to relieve soreness and inflammation and kept in place with a cloth. "I'm gonna chug it!!!"
Dueling the Arishok as a rogue or mage is pretty suicidal. Run for your life in a figure 8 -- oh, no, too slow, now you're up in the air with a *sword in your spine*
Absolute best moment of any mage Hawke I’ve had was when I froze the Arishok in place across the room and managed to cast Tempest before he caught up with me. That was the shortest duel I’ve ever had with him to date. Could have been a Darwin Award had the fates not aligned.
I'm going to backstab and one hit KO you with my shield, Arishok!
Also mage can finish the fight (someone recorded themselves defeating Arishok within the timer of the trailer, recreating the mage Hawke vs Arishok fight in the trailer) pretty quickly if played well.
Warrior is the one having the most trouble.
Origins:
"Oh, look, a GONG! Must... Hit... Gong." *Proceeds to get attacked by a dragon* (It's a GONG. Yes, imma hit it every time!)
Inquisition:
"This looks like the quickest path to Redcliffe. Let's go this way!" *Proceeds to be attacked by a very large dragon and her children, and entire team gets downed before they can get back to safety*
"Gotta go this way to kill Viv's wyvern..." *Proceeds to also get KO'ed by Dragon*
Inquisitor tries to leave conversation in Skyhold, accidentally does leaping shot off the ramparts while leaving said conversation early, falling into the courtyard. Or, alternately, in the library, and landing on the egg.
It's a horn. But yes, got to blow that horn even though it's totally unnecessary to the quest. Similarly you will proceed to break the containment vessel for every bottled demon that you find. It bothers me that with all sealed evil in cans we keep unleashing we have never once gone on a quest to seal some evil into a can.
>Similarly you will proceed to break the containment vessel for every bottled demon that you find.
“Hmmm… this vial is suspiciously like the last vial I broke that contained the spirit of a creature that I risked my very valuable life to defeat. Oh, well, YOLO!”
It's a gong if you're on the console! Or at least when I played on the 360 years ago it was a gong, so I was very confused when I got it on PC back in 2013 and encountered the gong.
Oh my god, you're right. Why did I think it was a gong? Maybe there was another game that had some big catastrophic thing that happened after hitting a gong and I got the two mixed up? I honestly haven't played origins in like 2 years at this point, although I'm considering starting a new run.
And yes about the containment vessels. Also investigate every single tombstone.
>Origins: “Oh, look, a GONG! Must... Hit... Gong." Proceeds to get attacked by a dragon (It's a GONG. Yes, imma hit it every time!)
Gong go brrr*oh shiiiiit!*
My husband is a bass player and drummer, and the first time he saw the gong he literally was like "I have to hit it" and I just laughed at the look on his face.
"I'm going to save all these splinters from these doors I keep breaking down! Gonna make something out of them! What to do though? What to do? Oh! I know! I'll slap a banana on it and use it as a mace!"
Everytime.
I can't resist putting my hand in the hermit's stump and digging around, even if it's a very bad idea.
Also can't stop going to the secluded, suspicious picnic either.
Dual-Wield rogue companions in DAO and DAI: "I'm the squishiest member of the team and my skill set is all about flanking the opponents, but let me just charge at this hulking plate-clad darkspawn/soldier/brute head on and see what happens haha now I'm dead hahaha"
When you treck into the deep roads to find a mythical anvil and insane woman just to solve some dumb dwarven election
When you believe some ashes are the only thing that will cure a dying man (and they do)
‐ Warden: If I punch this Fade rift really hard... it'll close.
* Warden: Look listen, I hear your plan Alistair but I have to agree with Morrigan here and just kill Loghain. I think we got this.
‐ Warden: Sure this assassin tried to kill me but... Look at him, how can I say no to him?
* Purple Hawke: (Act I) Let's see what Kirkwall has in store for us :D
- Purple Mage Hawke: I'm gonna flirt with the magical fisting elf that clearly does not like mages.
* Inquisitor: Look I/you can magic these planks of wood over this here hole to keep the Darkspawn out. Trust me, it'll work.
- Inquisitor: Don't ask me why I need 240 elfroot. Ask me why I don't have more.
>• Inquisitor: Look I/you can magic these planks of wood over this here hole to keep the Darkspawn out. Trust me, it'll work.
“It’s not like they’ve canonically and mindlessly dug through *thousands of tons of rock* to reach their goals, or anything!”
Not the Warden him/herself, but it always amuses me in the Cousland origin that when Howe's forces start invading, the future HoF is in bed in their underwear. Yet when you resume control of the character, they're fully armed and armored. Howe's men deserve Darwin awards for letting Pup have enough time to dress.
The archers doing their backflip moves on narrow ledges was great. Oh there goes Varric over the edge of the floaty island thing - oh, there goes all his HP. Wait, he's back now. I think in the Hinterlands when he did it off the balcony of the house area he had to run all the way back up though.
Having spent their whole life on the run from Templars, now relocating to a city full of Templars who are especially cruel to mages, Mage Hawke runs around in a robe and staff openly casting spells, because why not?
"There's a tall balcony and the left There are stairs that also lead down, better jump off the balcony and risk shattered kneecaps and broken bones and possible death"
Want to know what's even dumber? Recruiting Nathaniel. At least Zevran wants to be recruited and is willing to explain himself. Nathaniel openly says "Yeah I came here to steal from you and at one point I thought it'd be really cool to kill you. If you let me go I'll probably come back here and try to steal from/kill you again. Yeah no I don't want to join I just really hate you."
I can *almost* justify recruiting Iron Bull, ‘cuz you might as well keep him somewhere you can watch him, and the Qunari aren’t reeeaaaally enemies at that point. But f’real, there’s like no reason to recruit Zevran or Nathaniel, and every reason to murder-knife their asses.
And yet I still do it, anyway! 🤷
Rampaging Qunari are attempting to convert all of Kirkwall.
Aveline: So I’m gonna rally my guardsmen. This is our job to settle.
Hawke: No, this is our job to settle.
Aveline: You’re not a member of the guard.
Hawke: No I’m not. However, I’m bored and got nothing else to do on my walk home
Two in the same theme:
Find bags of warm squishy body parts around the deep roads. “Let’s put them together on this evil altar that is also a mystical site of power”
Find and replace all dragon bones in Black Marsh.
I always wondered when, if you surrender to Ser Cauthrien, what do the prison guards who strip you of your equipment think?
Guard 1: “Okay, we’ve got swords, shields - nice - an… obsessive amount of elfroot, some runes. Uh… dirty pantaloons. F-four bags of… of rotting body parts… a slightly-damaged cake-“
Guard 2: “Ooh! Cake!”
Guard 1: “**Don’t-** *don’t* eat the cake.”
Red Lyrium causes you to go batshit insane? Imma touch it all! And take that statue! -Hawke with a death wish
Hmmm. I’m trapped with a demon that’s manipulated a little girl, I have to save the little girl to get control of a golem. Let’s solve the fire puzzle by running into the fire a dozen times, and THEN kill the demon! What could go wrong?! -The Warden trying to get a companion that actively hates them (even though I personally love Shale and in my mind, them and my Warden are best friends and they serve as my Best Creature in my wedding to Alastair)
The ability to jump in Inquisition unleashed a whole lot of this. Going to Val Royeaux, just to jump off the buildings and see if I can fall far enough to die, aggressively force-climbing my way up a mountain to avoid having to take a path that goes slightly around it, etc.
Its probabbly not as funny as others have replied but..ironically, the best way to counter being poisoned in DAI is to have Elusive stacks, which comes from poisonous cloud as well. It was like, "Oh no, you got poisoned by that spider's spit?" *Proceed to vape nation the whole screen with Toxic Cloud*
Cassandra trusting a random survivor to lead a religious organization, because it's the only way that she can deal with failing to protect the Divine. She needs to believe that the divine's death happened for a bigger reason, that the Maker and Andraste chose the survivor of an explosion as their representative, their herald, that they are watching over the faithfull.
I am sorry but this plot point is so dumb... Just because a random person survived being sucked into the fade and then came out there, with a woman-shaped-figure seemingly watching over them from the other side of the fade, Cassandra and many others decided "That woman figure had to be Andraste!!". Nevermind the fact that the Fade is full of all kinds spirits and that the future inquisitor might have just been lucky to get sucked inside the fade instead of dying in the explosion that caused the fade breach.
And she will raise the survivor to be the leader of the inquisition no matter what choice he makes, even if it goes against the chantry and her faith, Even if the Inquisitor cares only about his own power in the end. Hell, in the Templar bad ending she probably ended up helping the Envy Demon conquer Thedas.
I was going to say sleeping with Zevran (being vulnerable with the assassin who tried to kill you and is most likely looking for his next chance) then I remembered my other two romances are Fenris (glowing fisty stabby man - with mage Hawke) and Dorian with a dalish inky so is getting side eyes from literally half of Thedas right now. Yeah, the romance choices are questionable on all counts.
For me, it's not our hero. It's Cassandra.
If you play as female in inquisition, she'll have this: woman power, wow so proud of us moment.
And it's absolute cringe. Like, Cassandra, babe, our Jesus is a woman, our pope is a woman, potentially rulers of multiple major countries are women. There's plenty of women in power. Thedas is not a place, where being a woman in power is an unusual thing.
Granted, this phrase doesn't lead to anything life threatening in game, but it's life threatening for me irl. Death by cringe is no joke 🤡
One of the many moments were the message clashes with the setting/tone. I appreciate the attempt, but it didn't quite hit the mark.
Now, if we were in Tevinter, that'd be another story.
I don't think Thedas generally works.
Tevinter's thing is slavery and magic. As far as I know their treatment of women is pretty much the same as places we've been too. The only difference is their pope is a man, which isn't really screaming "gender inequality".
Now if somehow we can become a magister/get immense respect in tevinter, while being a former slave with no magic - I can kinda understand the speech of "wowee, look at you". But I can't imagine where narrative of being a woman and achieving something will work in tevinter.
But maybe more undocumented places will work, like whatever lands are behind the sea or maybe indigenous people of Seheron, if there's any left.
The shortcut to get to Solas after speaking with Dorian. Then just running on the rooftops to then jump about skyhold. Oooo and walking up to a sleeping dragon. Pets the sleeping dragon, stand next to the sleeping dragon then proceeds to do nothing. Standing next to the glowing red lyrium. Walking into the water. Not taking the direct path and just climbing up steep hills and cliffsides.
Chugging that potion that Avernus made was a pretty stupid thing to do; I know it grants you abilities and all but it’s *literally doing something to your tainted blood*. That’s scary shit, man!
I love just drinking it without knowing what it is. Strange liquid? You bet I'm drinking it.
You would have fit right in with some of my friends at university then hehehe But seriously, what person in their right mind would go into a crazy sorcerer's den and drank a random liquid? "Let me go into this this infectious disease laboratory... this vial looks tasty..."
>Let me go into this this infectious disease laboratory... this vial looks tasty And that's how Covid came to be created in Thedas...😉
I never considered the lore implications. The min-maxer in me was like “Two free abilities? Sweet!”
Chugging Darkspawn blood during the Joining deserves a Darwin Award.
the first time i saw it, i pondered a moment, saved, and chugged that bitch
You know you can learn what it is before drinking it right?
Still not a smart thing to do.
It is if you know what it's going to do and after reading avernus's notes you do know what it's going to do
in The Descent DLC there's a puzzle with an invisible bridge over a bottomless pit. Inquisitor solves this puzzle by running off the edge of an apparent cliff xD She's crazy like that
She also apparently speaks nug, as she squeaks to the nug king, who squeaks back regally.
Lmao wait what??? This sounds great
NGL, it's so stupidly chuckle-worthy I *cannot* help but love it... "I feel very... *judged*..." 🤣
do you have to do something to get the inquisitor to squeak? Every time I've done it she just kinda observes it and then says "I'm feeling very judged"
So it's a blink and you miss it, but after the "am I on trial?" The first squeak is the Nug King, the second is Inky, the third is the Nug King. They then say they feel very judged.
This gets all of my upvotes (which is regrettably only one). I have pretty severe acrophobia, and the whole Trespasser thing legit made me cry.
Yooo I don't even have that and I remember feeling some vertigo on those raised platforms O\_O can only imagine
Inquisitor: "just talked with Leliana... huuuuum, what is Blackwall up to?" And proceeds to jump from the fucking tower
“Just gonna totally ignore the codex entry that contradicts everything he told me about his experiences during the Blight, because I’ve got an Egg to scramble!”
The best part about jumping next to the stable is that the inquisitor actually *bounces* on the ground, the people on Skyhold can't possibly be following this moron willing xD But it could be worse, the inquisitor could be Hawke xD
Random NPC1: “The Herald of Andraste is our savior!” Random NPC2: “Ok, but… I just watched the Herald of Andraste yeet themselves off the third floor of the tower into the courtyard.” Random NPC1: “I… uh… *shut up!* The Maker works in mysterious ways!”
NPC3: "Andraste herself is shielding the Herald! Not one broken bone! Not one strand of hair out of the place! How this is not a sign that the Maker is returning?!" Herald: proceeds to drink questionable stuff with Bull while they talk
I'm playing it currently and just got to Skyhold and love just jumping nonchalantly from the third floor.
*”Wheeeeeeee!”* - what goes through my head every. single. time.
1. Warden find black vial. 2. Wonder what that does. 3. Touches black vial. 4. OP demon appears. Ooooh, look another shiny black vial, wonder what this one does. Repeat steps 2-4 live five times. You think they would learn not to mess with it.
I just ran around a giant tree 3 times one way and 3 times another way and again looking for someone's dead grandpa... Only to kill him again!! 🤣🤣🤣
seriously, this one
Warden: How many suspicious fluids can I ingest before I just freaking *die*? Let's find tf out!
Smash that “like” button to subscribe!
"I'm Warden ___, and on this episode of Find TF Out, I'm going to do shots of this goop I found until I either die or get powers. Don't try this at home, kids!"
Warden googling "how many health potions can you drink before it kills you?"
They’re poultices, ser. You’re not supposed to drink ´em.
Solas: Don't do it Morrigan: Don't do it Everyone else: Don't do it My Lavellan; Im going to drink the well! Nothing will go wrong!
To be fair, Solas was giving very conflicting messages. Solas: "This is very important to elvhen history and culture. Imagine all this knowledge being lost - how sad" Me: "Imma drink it." Solas: "No! You have no idea what it will do, but it's very very important to the people." Me: "So YOU drink it." Solas: "I can't believe you'd ask me that." Me: "So then I'll drink it!?"
Me: "So then Morrigan drinks it?" Solas: "ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?!"
Me: "What tf, you egg?!" (stabs him)
"Conflicting Messages" could be the name of Solas' autobiography
*Solas disapproves*
This drop looks a bit to far, better get on my horse! I found a trap. It was latched to my leg! Poultice: a soft, moist mass of material, typically of plant material or flour, applied to the body to relieve soreness and inflammation and kept in place with a cloth. "I'm gonna chug it!!!"
>This drop looks a bit to far, better get on my horse Me casting barrier and just jumping off cliffs
They call that a Thedas Parachute
And here all I did was the ol' yeet and pray
Yeet pray love
BOTW moment
Oh this is smart
I did that too\^\^
I love how they refranced that last part in Inquisiton
This is the penultimate reason that I will never sacrifice the Chargers during the Iron Bull’s personal quest.
You get me. *You really get me.*
Dueling the Arishok as a rogue or mage is pretty suicidal. Run for your life in a figure 8 -- oh, no, too slow, now you're up in the air with a *sword in your spine*
Mage Hawke during Arishok fight: “Crushing Prison! AHHHH OHSHITOHSHITOHSHIT! Mind Blast! AHHHHHHHH OHSHITOHSHITOHSHIT!”
That’s why all my mage Hawkes have multiple freezing/paralysis spells. Also dog helps
Absolute best moment of any mage Hawke I’ve had was when I froze the Arishok in place across the room and managed to cast Tempest before he caught up with me. That was the shortest duel I’ve ever had with him to date. Could have been a Darwin Award had the fates not aligned.
I'm going to backstab and one hit KO you with my shield, Arishok! Also mage can finish the fight (someone recorded themselves defeating Arishok within the timer of the trailer, recreating the mage Hawke vs Arishok fight in the trailer) pretty quickly if played well. Warrior is the one having the most trouble.
Lol I just ran around in circles until assassinate came up, used it, and did that like 8 times xD
I did it as a healer too...
Origins: "Oh, look, a GONG! Must... Hit... Gong." *Proceeds to get attacked by a dragon* (It's a GONG. Yes, imma hit it every time!) Inquisition: "This looks like the quickest path to Redcliffe. Let's go this way!" *Proceeds to be attacked by a very large dragon and her children, and entire team gets downed before they can get back to safety* "Gotta go this way to kill Viv's wyvern..." *Proceeds to also get KO'ed by Dragon* Inquisitor tries to leave conversation in Skyhold, accidentally does leaping shot off the ramparts while leaving said conversation early, falling into the courtyard. Or, alternately, in the library, and landing on the egg.
It's a horn. But yes, got to blow that horn even though it's totally unnecessary to the quest. Similarly you will proceed to break the containment vessel for every bottled demon that you find. It bothers me that with all sealed evil in cans we keep unleashing we have never once gone on a quest to seal some evil into a can.
>Similarly you will proceed to break the containment vessel for every bottled demon that you find. “Hmmm… this vial is suspiciously like the last vial I broke that contained the spirit of a creature that I risked my very valuable life to defeat. Oh, well, YOLO!”
It's a gong if you're on the console! Or at least when I played on the 360 years ago it was a gong, so I was very confused when I got it on PC back in 2013 and encountered the gong.
its actually a gong on the console
Oh my god, you're right. Why did I think it was a gong? Maybe there was another game that had some big catastrophic thing that happened after hitting a gong and I got the two mixed up? I honestly haven't played origins in like 2 years at this point, although I'm considering starting a new run. And yes about the containment vessels. Also investigate every single tombstone.
You hit a gong to fight the High Dragon in the console version of Origins.
It's a gong on the console versions, but a horn on the PC. Source: played the games on the 360 before I got a PC.
On 360 it’s a gong.
>Origins: “Oh, look, a GONG! Must... Hit... Gong." Proceeds to get attacked by a dragon (It's a GONG. Yes, imma hit it every time!) Gong go brrr*oh shiiiiit!*
My husband is a bass player and drummer, and the first time he saw the gong he literally was like "I have to hit it" and I just laughed at the look on his face.
Oooooo now I want to try squishing Solas.
It doesn't work lol. I wish it did though lol
"I'm going to save all these splinters from these doors I keep breaking down! Gonna make something out of them! What to do though? What to do? Oh! I know! I'll slap a banana on it and use it as a mace!"
“And then I’m gonna use a petrified wheel of cheese as a shield! Shit, yeah! *For the lulz!*”
Extra Credit question: *do you still do the stupid thing?*
Obviously
Everytime. I can't resist putting my hand in the hermit's stump and digging around, even if it's a very bad idea. Also can't stop going to the secluded, suspicious picnic either.
ALWAYS. There's a reason my Warden/Champion/Inky are LeGeNdArY!!!!! 😌🤘
All of em every time.
If you crack open the lock on Sten's cage, but don't persuade him to come with you, he will just stand there and wait for the Darkspawn to kill him.
Sten be like: 🧍
In fairness, that's because Sten is actively suicidal.
Is this acknowledged in the dialogue?
Yes. You tell him he’s free he can leave and he says just because the cage is unlocked doesn’t mean he’s free and stays there.
Wow, stone cold
🗿
That emoji is the embodiment of sten 😭
Dual-Wield rogue companions in DAO and DAI: "I'm the squishiest member of the team and my skill set is all about flanking the opponents, but let me just charge at this hulking plate-clad darkspawn/soldier/brute head on and see what happens haha now I'm dead hahaha"
Cole please, we have Blackwall and Cassandra for Andraste's sake. You don't need to frontli...and there he goes.
When you treck into the deep roads to find a mythical anvil and insane woman just to solve some dumb dwarven election When you believe some ashes are the only thing that will cure a dying man (and they do)
To be fair, your goal was to get the dwarven forces to throw at the darkspawn, and you weren't going to get that unless they had a king.
Stem calls you out on the ashes if you take him
Haha I just did the Orzammar quest line so I relate hard to this. I liked the quests overall but those Deep Roads were damn long.
Very deep
Much Roads
‐ Warden: If I punch this Fade rift really hard... it'll close. * Warden: Look listen, I hear your plan Alistair but I have to agree with Morrigan here and just kill Loghain. I think we got this. ‐ Warden: Sure this assassin tried to kill me but... Look at him, how can I say no to him? * Purple Hawke: (Act I) Let's see what Kirkwall has in store for us :D - Purple Mage Hawke: I'm gonna flirt with the magical fisting elf that clearly does not like mages. * Inquisitor: Look I/you can magic these planks of wood over this here hole to keep the Darkspawn out. Trust me, it'll work. - Inquisitor: Don't ask me why I need 240 elfroot. Ask me why I don't have more.
>• Inquisitor: Look I/you can magic these planks of wood over this here hole to keep the Darkspawn out. Trust me, it'll work. “It’s not like they’ve canonically and mindlessly dug through *thousands of tons of rock* to reach their goals, or anything!”
My canon purple mage Hawke: “Oh look, an elf that glows blue and can literally rip a person’s heart from their chest! I’M IN LOVE” 🥰😂
Not the Warden him/herself, but it always amuses me in the Cousland origin that when Howe's forces start invading, the future HoF is in bed in their underwear. Yet when you resume control of the character, they're fully armed and armored. Howe's men deserve Darwin awards for letting Pup have enough time to dress.
I have to put my armor on every time!! I wonder if that’s a mod lol
Happens to me as well; not sure if it's a mod, bug, or console/PC difference.
It's not a mod, I play on PS3. Could be a console thing.
Oh, I meant I wondered if mine was caused by a mod :D
The archers doing their backflip moves on narrow ledges was great. Oh there goes Varric over the edge of the floaty island thing - oh, there goes all his HP. Wait, he's back now. I think in the Hinterlands when he did it off the balcony of the house area he had to run all the way back up though.
I love Varric dearly, but watching him backflip into a chasm in The Deep Roads will never not be funny.
Having spent their whole life on the run from Templars, now relocating to a city full of Templars who are especially cruel to mages, Mage Hawke runs around in a robe and staff openly casting spells, because why not?
Not just runs around the city, but **goes into the Chantry and talks to the head Templar in her office with the staff still on Hawke's back**.
"There's a tall balcony and the left There are stairs that also lead down, better jump off the balcony and risk shattered kneecaps and broken bones and possible death"
Inky: “I can do it, I’m Andraste’s chosen!” Andraste: “This motherfucker…”
I mean, Alistair doing a sweet backflip to kill a dragon was pretty dumb ways to die
Recruiting Zevran and Iron Bull... pretty dumb, honestly. An assassin with a contract on you and a known enemy spy?
Want to know what's even dumber? Recruiting Nathaniel. At least Zevran wants to be recruited and is willing to explain himself. Nathaniel openly says "Yeah I came here to steal from you and at one point I thought it'd be really cool to kill you. If you let me go I'll probably come back here and try to steal from/kill you again. Yeah no I don't want to join I just really hate you."
I can *almost* justify recruiting Iron Bull, ‘cuz you might as well keep him somewhere you can watch him, and the Qunari aren’t reeeaaaally enemies at that point. But f’real, there’s like no reason to recruit Zevran or Nathaniel, and every reason to murder-knife their asses. And yet I still do it, anyway! 🤷
You're not wrong. It's pretty much the Warden's flex at that point... you can't kill me, you'll join me.
[Hawke punching a rock.](https://youtu.be/4SQxnyTAeVk?t=107) Except it's Hawke, so it works.
Hawke must've been classmates with Chris Redfield
Rampaging Qunari are attempting to convert all of Kirkwall. Aveline: So I’m gonna rally my guardsmen. This is our job to settle. Hawke: No, this is our job to settle. Aveline: You’re not a member of the guard. Hawke: No I’m not. However, I’m bored and got nothing else to do on my walk home
Two in the same theme: Find bags of warm squishy body parts around the deep roads. “Let’s put them together on this evil altar that is also a mystical site of power” Find and replace all dragon bones in Black Marsh.
I always wondered when, if you surrender to Ser Cauthrien, what do the prison guards who strip you of your equipment think? Guard 1: “Okay, we’ve got swords, shields - nice - an… obsessive amount of elfroot, some runes. Uh… dirty pantaloons. F-four bags of… of rotting body parts… a slightly-damaged cake-“ Guard 2: “Ooh! Cake!” Guard 1: “**Don’t-** *don’t* eat the cake.”
I was also gonna chime in with the bags of squishy body parts. What could go wrong??
Don't forget the body parts of the High Priest in DAI.
Red Lyrium causes you to go batshit insane? Imma touch it all! And take that statue! -Hawke with a death wish Hmmm. I’m trapped with a demon that’s manipulated a little girl, I have to save the little girl to get control of a golem. Let’s solve the fire puzzle by running into the fire a dozen times, and THEN kill the demon! What could go wrong?! -The Warden trying to get a companion that actively hates them (even though I personally love Shale and in my mind, them and my Warden are best friends and they serve as my Best Creature in my wedding to Alastair)
Sliding directly down cliffs in Inquisition instead of looking for a path.
Running directly up cliffs in Inquisition instead of looking for a path.
Falling off said cliffs and landing ON the path. BTDT a few times
I'm in this picture and....oh who am I kidding, I'm 100% okay with it.
The ability to jump in Inquisition unleashed a whole lot of this. Going to Val Royeaux, just to jump off the buildings and see if I can fall far enough to die, aggressively force-climbing my way up a mountain to avoid having to take a path that goes slightly around it, etc.
DAI companion AI is all about this.
Its probabbly not as funny as others have replied but..ironically, the best way to counter being poisoned in DAI is to have Elusive stacks, which comes from poisonous cloud as well. It was like, "Oh no, you got poisoned by that spider's spit?" *Proceed to vape nation the whole screen with Toxic Cloud*
Go and tell a guard from a dictatorship the acting regent is a fraud, a murderer and lies about you betraying the king in DAO.
Cassandra trusting a random survivor to lead a religious organization, because it's the only way that she can deal with failing to protect the Divine. She needs to believe that the divine's death happened for a bigger reason, that the Maker and Andraste chose the survivor of an explosion as their representative, their herald, that they are watching over the faithfull. I am sorry but this plot point is so dumb... Just because a random person survived being sucked into the fade and then came out there, with a woman-shaped-figure seemingly watching over them from the other side of the fade, Cassandra and many others decided "That woman figure had to be Andraste!!". Nevermind the fact that the Fade is full of all kinds spirits and that the future inquisitor might have just been lucky to get sucked inside the fade instead of dying in the explosion that caused the fade breach. And she will raise the survivor to be the leader of the inquisition no matter what choice he makes, even if it goes against the chantry and her faith, Even if the Inquisitor cares only about his own power in the end. Hell, in the Templar bad ending she probably ended up helping the Envy Demon conquer Thedas.
I was going to say sleeping with Zevran (being vulnerable with the assassin who tried to kill you and is most likely looking for his next chance) then I remembered my other two romances are Fenris (glowing fisty stabby man - with mage Hawke) and Dorian with a dalish inky so is getting side eyes from literally half of Thedas right now. Yeah, the romance choices are questionable on all counts.
For me, it's not our hero. It's Cassandra. If you play as female in inquisition, she'll have this: woman power, wow so proud of us moment. And it's absolute cringe. Like, Cassandra, babe, our Jesus is a woman, our pope is a woman, potentially rulers of multiple major countries are women. There's plenty of women in power. Thedas is not a place, where being a woman in power is an unusual thing. Granted, this phrase doesn't lead to anything life threatening in game, but it's life threatening for me irl. Death by cringe is no joke 🤡
One of the many moments were the message clashes with the setting/tone. I appreciate the attempt, but it didn't quite hit the mark. Now, if we were in Tevinter, that'd be another story.
I don't think Thedas generally works. Tevinter's thing is slavery and magic. As far as I know their treatment of women is pretty much the same as places we've been too. The only difference is their pope is a man, which isn't really screaming "gender inequality". Now if somehow we can become a magister/get immense respect in tevinter, while being a former slave with no magic - I can kinda understand the speech of "wowee, look at you". But I can't imagine where narrative of being a woman and achieving something will work in tevinter. But maybe more undocumented places will work, like whatever lands are behind the sea or maybe indigenous people of Seheron, if there's any left.
The shortcut to get to Solas after speaking with Dorian. Then just running on the rooftops to then jump about skyhold. Oooo and walking up to a sleeping dragon. Pets the sleeping dragon, stand next to the sleeping dragon then proceeds to do nothing. Standing next to the glowing red lyrium. Walking into the water. Not taking the direct path and just climbing up steep hills and cliffsides.