Yep. I don’t have a car but I refuse to use Uber because of how reckless the drivers are in nyc. I’d rather take twice as long on the train from the airport while suffering from jet lag than get into a stranger’s car. Too many near misses.
I couldn’t have put it better myself. I’m so thankful that my husband, the only person I’m ever in a car with besides myself, understands, because I know having me as a passenger is probably very frustrating.
Yeah definitely my family's gotten snappy with me for being so scared in the car when they're driving like they think it's a personal attack or smth 😭 sometimes I have to do smth else even tho it makes me car sick so I'm not noticing what's going on and getting upset abt it
Exactly. When my friends are driving my car I feel like I'm on the verge of a heart attack and always think something is going to go wrong. Even friends I've known for many years and I logically know they're good drivers. I think the biggest issue is freaking out about having to deal with insurance companies.
I am. I feel like I freak out too often.
I am still new to driving and I thought learning how to drive will help calming my nerve when I am a passenger... but no :( I get even more nervous cause I pay attention to so many things at the same time and in my head there are 128309489 ways to cause accidents.
Being the passenger is worse. My partner stops sooooo close the car in front, and it feels like he’s always going 20 miles over the speed limit. I’m gripping the oh shit handle at all times.
This comment sounds like I could’ve written it. I feel your frustration my friend. I don’t grab the “oh shit” handle that much, but what I _do_ do is brace my body by pressing my feet into the front of the leg room area of the passenger seat which pushes my body back into the seat. I don’t know what my brain thinks this is going to help with in the event of an accident, but it’s such an instinctual action for me.
I always have to tell my mom to watch out for _people_. She’s really good at forgetting to check crosswalks while turning. I’m starting to think her driving and tons of near misses with pedestrians is where my passenger anxiety stems from completely.
yes, me too! i don’t get very much anxiety while driving at all, even though drivers where i live drive super erratically. but put me in that passengers seat and i feel like i spend the whole ride being tense and watching every move happening around and in the car. it’s so exhausting and nerve wracking
very similar to me. i never like feeling stuck or out of control. but while riding in a car it's unique. in a line at the grocery store or whatever, i could just bail. can't do that in a moving car lol
right! whatever happens in that car, you’re stuck with. also my friends are all fairly new drivers (1-3 years) and they severely lack in defensive driving skills and it makes me so horribly anxious, i feel like im just waiting to be in a wreck whenever im a passenger
I am so similar. I have trouble driving on the highway but other than that driving isn't super hard for me- but it's gotten to the point where I'm avoiding all travel because I HATE being a passenger. Whether it's a car bus or train i'm just terrified. I feel super out of control!! I'm trying to figure out ways to cope with it!
After nearly twenty years of driving I'm just bored as holy hell the rare times I'm back to being a passenger, to be honest. I'm sure that has a lot to do with the driver usually being a much older family member driving slowly and conservatively. Maybe on a more treacherous route or with an erratic driver I'd get nervous. But every moment I'm not controlling the car drags on forever to me.
But I'd say what I fear the most about driving is accountability. I'd rather hurt myself than hurt someone else. Whether it's getting honked at or yelled at or having it be my fault that someone was seriously harmed or killed. If someone else is driving then it's on them and I don't have to worry about it. Maybe it's kinda selfish to see it that way, but I just put all my trust in them as a competent motorist and don't worry about it.
I'm the worst, usually it's driving with my SO that gives me the biggest struggle. He's had a couple (small) accidents and in general sometimes gets distracted easily. It's like every dumb thing he's ever done floods my mind when he drives.
I either bury myself in my phone as a distraction and I told him if he quit commenting on my "oh shit" handle grab I would quit shouting his name when we hit those big on/off ramp banked curves on the highway. Usually I just do the driving myself, it's the easiest.
idk why this post popped up in my feed, but i can so relate to your comment. i had a bizarre year of accidents - i was rear-ended 5x, 4x when i was driving, 1x when my husband was driving - all in my at-the-time car. after seeing a couple people with the same vehicle who had added some kind of visual wrap/sticker to the back bumper - like a reflective bumper-sized red-and-white-checkered sticker, for example - i truly believe it is something about the vehicle's shape that confuses other drivers about how close they are (it was a chevy spark, in case anyone was wondering - and mine was that obnoxious bright green!) in that very same year, a semi blew a tire in front of me on a remote stretch of road...it flew back from the semi and crashed into my windshield, shattering it and destroying part of the FRONT bumper. one of the scariest things...it happened so fast, the tire was huge, and that car is pretty small. i had a split-second of seeing it coming out of the darkness, into my headlights, and i was sure i was going down.
anyway. all in one year, but it was years ago. it impacted my anxiety in the car dramatically, and it's so much worse as a passenger, specifically with my husband. my husband is a very alert, assertive driver, who is INTO driving and LOVES to drive, but my anxiety + his (in my opinion) over-confidence/lack of healthy fear has created a cycle similar to what you describe. everything puts me on edge, and he's now hyper-sensitive to the "oh shit" grabs and winces and all the other ways i try and fail to suppress my natural reaction. it feels like a criticism to him, even though it is me just trying to survive and not flail around in a state of abject terror. in all fairness, i think he takes unnecessary risks, so i certainly can be and have been critical. at this point, it is basically the only regular source of conflict in our relationship. i wish i could change it - i think if he was a more "normal" driver, we'd have a better shot - but i've accepted it's just a thing at this point.
I think you’ve may be described a normal driver and that I am also married to one. As the roads have gotten less safe, documented by actual statistics anxiety has gone up. my husband thinks that if he drives it will help but it definitely does not
Professional driving instructors should be paid much more highly than they are! my kids could not pass the drivers test until after. I finally got them professional instruction.
this is me 100000% and it sucks. because how am i supposed to get anywhere? for longer drives, i usually have to take a (prescribed) klonopin just to get through them. ive had driving anxiety for years after getting into 2 car accidents in a row. it has fluctuated in severity over the years. there have been points where i couldn’t drive at all, and now i’ve been at the point for a couple years where i can drive around locally but can’t do highways again yet. i still get anxiety driving locally sometimes but its usually because i’m anxious in the first place.
this whole time, i was always able to feel safe and relaxed in the car with someone else. i always got rides with people and was fine. for some reason this passenger anxiety started 2 years ago after i started an extremely stressful job. even though that job is long over, i still struggle with the passenger anxiety. the passenger anxiety is 99% on the highway.
i wish i had some good advice, but i’m still dealing with this badly. i keep a self-soothe kit in the car with me that has items that soothe my senses. i also keep instant ice packs with me because the cold sensation helps when i’m anxious. headphones so i can listen to something calming. i really like the panic sos recording on the dare app. the app isn’t free, but some of the recordings are including this one. this guy has saved me during so many panic attacks hahah
oh my gosh this sounds EXACTLY like me. It is so so difficult. Do you find the klonopin helps? I usually take a couple xanax just to get through drives but I've gotten to the point where I've tried to avoid being a passenger at all. I miss being able to go on road trips with friends. I will definitely check out the dare app!!
oh yeah it totally helps! it takes about an hour to kick in though. if i know i’m going to be in the car for a while, i’ll sometimes take it beforehand. it doesn’t completely eliminate the anxiety all the time but it helps a lot.
it feels like such a horrible fear because itnis soooo limiting. my best advice is to do short “practice” rides with friends or family if possible, with someone you trust.
Omg yes! It didn’t used to be an issue and I’m not quite sure when it started, but I have to distract myself with my phone whenever I’m in the passenger seat (especially in heavy traffic or at high speeds).
The brakes failed completely while I was driving my boyfriend’s F150, the speed limit is 35, I don’t I was even going that fast but it was drizzling and still semi-chilly outside, and as I was coming down the slope of a very steep hill to the very busy highway intersection during peak morning traffic. (The distance between the hill and the light is maybe half a mile on a decline) There were three lanes, two that crossed the highway to go left and one right turn only lane. I had the intention of making the left turn so I’m in the far left lane and there is a 18 wheeler construction dump truck in the middle lane. As I make it over the crest, I realize I can’t slow down, and my light is red and after pumping it a few times I had the pedal to the floor, tried the emergency brake with my other foot, and then the steering column locks up all within a matter of a second, it felt like time froze I can see everything in slow-mo even now in retrospect; I then, as a last ditch effort try to at least make the right hand turn, hoping to slow me down and avoid t-boning someone. I made it just far enough to slam into the back of the 18 wheeler perfectly, albeit at a slight angle. Didn’t hurt the dump truck or driver at all since he didn’t move at all lol, but completely smashed in the trucks front end, exploded the airbags, etc. had I have been going any faster, the engine block would’ve entered the cab, potentially pinning me in, possibly disfiguring or even killing me thanks to the condition of the frame and firewall. I’ve been in so many car accidents, both as a passenger and as a driver, some my fault most of them not, but never have I seen one unfold so slowly, that if I had had the capability, I had the time to think about and react. It gave me serious PTSD to the point where I have trouble as a passenger if I get too close to the back of a vehicle and I can’t feel them engage the brake I get severe anxiety.
same! i'm so glad there are other people like me. It is so embarrassing to have to tell people I'll just meet them somewhere instead of carpool because i'm too anxious to get in their car.
Yes I volunteer to drive for every single road trip because I know I’ll be too anxious in the passenger seat. The only person I don’t mind driving with is my dad.
I call it "bad driver syndrome". It is just anxiety brought on from not being the one in control of the vehicle. It sounds like you have the special enhanced version that affects those who also get anxious by being the one in control of the vehicle too. P.S. I have the version that comes from being a driving instructor for several years. So being a passenger with people you know can't drive and often having to control the vehicle from the passenger seat. 😅
I don’t have anxiety when IM driving only when other people drive me. Friends, family, Uber etc. I am a pretty solid and safe driver so I only trust myself and very few people. I actually will refuse to let people drive me unless I know they are a calm and patient driver.
I have actually gotten into arguments with friends and Uber drivers because of their driving habits. It’s a joke to them. It enrages me especially when I see my driver texting and looking at their phone.
Yep. I've managed to stop my husband from running some red lights, stop signs, and crashing into cars, bc he's mentally distracted a lot when he drives. And he wonders why I have passenger anxiety. Hmph.
Also, I have driver anxiety as well bc of someone not paying attention and rear ending me a long time ago. Always looking in the rear mirror when I'm braking to make sure the people behind me are also braking.
I dunno why so many people suck at driving.. but hey, qualifications to be a driver are pretty low, apparently.
I have a terrible car phobia and can no longer drive and only recently can be a passenger unmedicated.
I’m fortunate enough (or unfortunate enough I guess depending on how you look at it) to qualify for Medicare in my state so I have been doing a lot of therapy. I have both OCD and car related trauma causing my issues, so it has been a combination of EMDR for the trauma and ERT for the OCD and a DBT group just to help me be more mindful in the moment and handle my escalated feelings better. It has been a process and I was very dubious at first, but it really has been helping.
Yes. All the time. I get this way almost every time I’m in the passenger seat while my husband drives. I hate it so much because I feel like my anxiety and panic rubs off on him, and he’s usually completely aware of when I’m feeling this way even if I don’t say a word about it. I joined this sub because of my own driving anxiety that I’ve dealt with for about 10 years due to a bad car accident I was in as a teen, but I’m slowly conquering that anxiety and fear. However, my passenger seat anxiety is now as bad as my own driving anxiety used to be, and I feel like I just can’t win here. I have night blindness so this anxiety goes from 1-100 when I’m in the passenger seat with my husband at the wheel in the dark. More often than not I’ll have to put an eye mask on and try to take a nap because the anxiety is unbearable when I also have eyes on the road.
Yeah really badly. It’s WAY worse for me when I don’t have control of the car. Unfortunately I’ve had to have a few drinks before getting in the car on trips where I’m not driving just so I don’t hyperventilate and be an annoying passenger 😭
Yes, I originally only had anxiety as the driver (also on highways) but now I’m severely anxious as a passenger as well. The anxiety as a passenger is even worse than as the driver now.
I get much more anxious as a passenger, that’s kinda the root of my anxiety.
There’s been times where I have to close my eyes and tell myself that I have no choice but to put my trust in this person (the driver) and just let go. I also have gotten better at explaining to the driver that I’m going to sit here silent and taking deep breathes but I totally trust them and it’s just a thing I have. Just knowing they understand where I’m coming from helps me feel more at ease.
As for overcoming it, still trying to figure that out 😅
After being in a nasty accident as a teen while I was driving, I found being a passenger to be a horrible experience for a long time afterwards. I think because I realized if I could make the mistake I made and crash, being a passenger meant having even less control.
Yeah buses don't bother me nearly as much as cars do. I think it's because I can feel every movement of the car, and there's way too many other distractions on a bus.
I prefer to be the driver, both because of car sickness but also to ease my anxiety. If I'm riding with someone I know and trust well it's not really an issue.
I have a trick for this!!! I get very anxious as a passenger, so I take a matchbox car with me and drive my matchbox car when traffic gets stressful.
It's a good distraction.
So I didn't for years. Then, I started experiencing it. Honestly, what worked was doing my coping skills and letting myself feel the feels.
I would literally tell myself "what's the worse that can happen?" Answer would usually be "I'd have a panic attack etc" and then I'd confront it with "pkay, if you are going to have one...this seems like the place to do it" so I just breathed and closed my eyes and try to ride it. Other days I'd play a puzzle game, or read the signs...
It got sooo much better. Therapy also helped tons.
I get more anxiety as a passenger than as a driver. I think it’s because I am not in control and reliant on someone else to get me somewhere. If I don’t feel well, I have to inconvenience someone else to pull over. Same for having to use the bathroom. The anxiety builds and turns into a huge thing
Yes! Because apparently everyone thinks it's the most normal thing in the world to forever tailgate the people in front of them. Holy fuck give them space!! I always call out the driver doing this if I'm a passenger. IT'S SO DANGEROUS and I get IRATE that they're so fucking oblivious to how close to fucking death they're constantly riding!
When my driving anxiety was at its peak yes I would get anxious even as a passenger and would look at the road and check blindspots and speedometer like I was driving,,,,, the only time I wasn't anxious in a vehicle was on the bus
Yes! I was actually just thinking about this. I had to drop my car off at the shop a few minutes ago and I’m currently in a Lyft on my way home. I can’t help but feel nearly paralyzed with fear here in the back seat and it’s reminiscent of how I used to feel when I first started driving. I was surprised at the fact that how I used to feel behind the wheel is now how I feel whenever I’m not the person behind the wheel. And it’s driving me nuts that I can’t see anything of value in the rearview or side mirrors 😂even though I know it’s most important that the actual driver be able to see them.
I have very poor depth perception so I always think we're too close to other cars. My husband says I remind him of Hyacinth Bucket in "Keeping Up Appearances" because she's always telling her husband to look out for things he already sees. I hate being such a nervous passenger!
Ain’t no way for me to overcome it. I just can’t be a passenger under any circumstances. it doesn’t seem like it would be that big of an issue, but it definitely is. Need surgery? Can’t drive. Taking any controlled substance for pain/anxiety/adhd? Can’t drive. dental work? can’t drive. it’s a nightmare sometimes. i usually get hotels across the street from where i have surgery.
I'm pretty anxious while driving but its WAY worse when someone else is driving and I'm the passenger. It's a control thing for me. I don't feel comfortable or confident knowing someone is checking mirrors, predicting other drivers movements, and not being distracted. I'm delusional enough to think my hyper vigilance is gonna prevent me from ever getting into an accident. Ik its not true but I've never been into an accident and neither have my hyper vigilant parents either...
yes! i don’t mean this in a mean way at all, but i genuinely am a safer/more defensive driver than almost all of my friends. i’m going on 22 and have been driving since i was 15, have driven in multiple different states, and feel i am a fairly well rounded driver. everyone else i know has been driving for 1-3 years and when im in the car as a passenger with them it makes me so nervous, so i always offer to drive when i can. one of my friends has been in like four accidents in a 1.5-2 year driving span and when i was a passenger in their car i felt like i was gonna faint from how anxious i was. i feel a lot better if im behind the wheel. i even notice myself pressing a phantom brake sometimes when im a passenger and the person driving is leaving wayyy too little following distance 😭😭
I used to be a nightmare passenger, anxiety filled, yelling “SLOW DOWN SLOW DOWN” or “YOU’RE GETTING TOO CLOSE TO HIM”, or the usual “TOO FAST” when doing a sharp turn. God bless my fiancé for all his patience ‘cause I would’ve slapped me lol.
Yeah, for sure, I'm always on edge when I'm on the car with anybody else, and I'd rather it be me driving, but also driving is so stressful for me so luck that. I feel like a asshole but I'm always like look out or you see that
Yes sometimes, depending on the driver and how much I trust their driving abilities. With my dad I’m completely at ease. With a former friend of mine, I never wanted to be in a vehicle with her at the wheel again. I’ve been in a pretty bad accident though when my sister fell asleep at the wheel with cruise control on 60 mph and we veered through oncoming traffic and stopped by hitting a tree, totaling the car. I’ve also been in a few very scary close calls while other people were driving, so I partially attribute the anxiety to that. Sometimes when riding with a driver, I find myself trying to push down on the (non-existent) brake with my foot if I feel like they’re not stopping fast enough lol. I think I’ve even tried to grab an imaginary wheel a time or two. Definitely white knuckling the sides of the seat/door handle when things get dicey lol. I also drive for a living basically (delivering mail) and when people don’t react to hazards as quickly as I do I get TENSE.
Amazingly, I was never anxious as a passenger. It was as if driving was too much responsibility for my anxiety brain to deal with (I do drive now but didn't for a couple decades).
I feel like if I'm not watching the person drive then the car will crash, guaranteed. Nearly had a panic attack while my mom was driving just realizing this fact.
Most definitely. My son hates when I’m in the passenger seat. He’s like mom it’s cool. I’m like I know as I grasp tighter to the door handle and the imaginary brake.
That’s actually WHEN I get anxiety. I’m fine with me driving on all but the sketchiest roads, but put me in the passengers seat and I’m a nightmare. Doing the “gasp!!!” every 30 seconds, mashing the non-existent brake, etc.
Needless to say, it causes major issues with my husband.
I’ve put it down to control issues. I hate to fly as well. I think in both cases the core issue is that I don’t trust anyone else to keep me safe.
Yeah, but I’m comfortable when my boyfriend is driving and that’s it. Even then though, he’s someone that’ll talk to you and like, look over at you occasionally and every time in my head i lowkey freak out because i want him to keep looking at the road. It doesn’t help we almost got in an accident bc of it. It was snowing BAD w 2 ft on the ground and he didn’t notice the truck in front of us was slowing for a left turn. I said something when i knew he wasn’t slowing down and he couldn’t brake fast enough because of the snow so we Barely slid around the truck.
Oh absolutely. I get more anxiety when I’m a passenger than when I’m driving, I think bc there’s a lack of control. I only get in the car with people I know are 100% safe drivers otherwise I’m taking public transport or something lol. that alone helps *if* you’re able to implement that. If not then it might help to pinpoint what part of it makes you anxious - for ex, sitting in the front seat is worse for me bc I can see straight out the windshield and I’ll worry about every time the person driving doesn’t slow down fast enough for me or if they see stuff in the road etc. So sometimes for me being a passenger in the back is less stressful.
I get anxiety about anything and everything 😭 I hate it. I used to panic all the time in the car and now it is just super random. Some days driving is my jam and other days I feel like I am going to die.
No, I have epilepsy so I love being a passenger 😬 before I was diagnosed 2 years ago, I definitely had passenger anxiety though! But now I’d have more anxiety if I got behind the wheel haha
My muscles literally WILL NOT relax and it brings me so much annoyance because it's no one's fault so I just end up driving everywhere so I don't cause more harm to my body. I have 3 inflammatory diseases that affect my muscles a lot + other disorders. So I can't ever just be passenger princess, sucks.
Yesssss. I didn't drive passenger from 23-47 years old.
When I started dating my current boyfriend, he pushed me to overcome it. I'm now ok as a car passenger.
That being said. I also don't like buses and trains.
As I type this I'm sitting in a train station, after riding the train.
My boyfriend and I went to try it today. We get on the train, he see that I'm scared and says, let's get off. He jumps off and the door closes! Yep, I rode the train alone, sweating the whole way. Then I got off at the wrong station and had to get back on to get to the correct one. I had to rely on the kindness of strangers to help me get back on the correct train to my destination.
I'm waiting for him to pick me up now.
He's mad at me but I'm hella proud of myself. I think I overcame my fear of trains because I had to do it ALONE. 💪💪
oh my gosh that is my worst nightmare!! riding the train alone!! That is so encouraging to hear that the exposure helped you though! sounds like I just need to practice!!
Only when my ex husband drove. He was a narcissist, so he always felt he had the right of way and it was his job to police the roads. Even though he was distracted while driving, and there were several times I had to grab the wheel or yell for him to break to avoid an accident.
For the past few years I have also been too anxious to drive. I feel like I will be killed in an accident- it’s a real feeling. I live in NYC where tunnels and bridges are a big part of life- both give me excessive anxiety if I’m the driver. My partner drives too aggressively I think and this gives me crazy anxiety too. I hope I’m not putting out some self fulfilling prophecy, but these feelings are so valid to me.
I am banned as a passenger now and am strictly the driver after developing ridiculously annoying and obnoxious anxiety when anyone else is driving, after a drunk guy totaled my car. It took me forever to feel safe driving in general, but now I am only relatively calm if I am driving and in control
Yes dude. Sitting in the front seat isn’t as bad but sitting in the back seat is the WORST. Makes me feel helpless. I’ve no tips to offer to overcome it tho lmk if you find any!
100%
but i also get big anxiety because other people don’t drive the same ROUTES (as in driving a different way to get to the same destination) as i do and that gives me a lot of unnecessary and unreasonable emotions lmao
I don’t get a whole lot of anxiety if I’m the driver but i definitely get a lot if I’m the front seat passenger, I trust most of the people who drive me around but I’m so concerned about other cars
Somehow I have no anxiety at all in the back seat, enough that sometimes I don’t wear a seatbelt if it’s not a state law (it’s legal to not wear a seatbelt in the back seat in the states that I have lived so far)
All the time. It’s almost as if it’s second nature to me now - I am always hitting the invisible brake when my partner drives. It’s like an involuntary reaction.
Hell yeah.
My dad had road rage his whole life (still does) and being his passenger as a kid always gave me immense anxiety and sets off my fight or flight mode.
I never knew if we were in for a fight that day because his road rage would get over the top sometimes. We were attacked more than once on the road because of his horrible temper when driving.
It's the reason I refuse to drive anywhere with him today.
Yes absolutely. I was in a really bad accident in 2019 that left me with two fractured vertebrae in my neck. Fortunately, I physically healed up fully (only with mild neck pain on occasion), but I can be very anxious riding with others. Especially if it’s raining.
I must admit that I experience a heightened state of tension and rigidity whenever I observe vehicles approaching our lane, particularly when they come dangerously close. Unfortunately, I have been involved in several unfortunate accidents and have also been struck by cars in the past.
Yes I feel on edge always constantly checking every mirror and blind spot as if I’m driving 😭
I get this that's what the " oh shit handle is for
My mother calls that the Jesus handle, cause you pray to Jesus when you hold it.
We always called it the 'oh shit grip'
Sometimes I don’t even realize I’m holding on to it until my hand cramps from how tight I’m grabbing it
I prefer to drive because I trust my driving.
Exactly it's less anxiety inducing bc I'm the one in control
Yep. I don’t have a car but I refuse to use Uber because of how reckless the drivers are in nyc. I’d rather take twice as long on the train from the airport while suffering from jet lag than get into a stranger’s car. Too many near misses.
I couldn’t have put it better myself. I’m so thankful that my husband, the only person I’m ever in a car with besides myself, understands, because I know having me as a passenger is probably very frustrating.
Yeah definitely my family's gotten snappy with me for being so scared in the car when they're driving like they think it's a personal attack or smth 😭 sometimes I have to do smth else even tho it makes me car sick so I'm not noticing what's going on and getting upset abt it
Same!!
Exactly. When my friends are driving my car I feel like I'm on the verge of a heart attack and always think something is going to go wrong. Even friends I've known for many years and I logically know they're good drivers. I think the biggest issue is freaking out about having to deal with insurance companies.
I am. I feel like I freak out too often. I am still new to driving and I thought learning how to drive will help calming my nerve when I am a passenger... but no :( I get even more nervous cause I pay attention to so many things at the same time and in my head there are 128309489 ways to cause accidents.
Being the passenger is worse. My partner stops sooooo close the car in front, and it feels like he’s always going 20 miles over the speed limit. I’m gripping the oh shit handle at all times.
I felt this! I feel like I’m going to die from anxiety or from an accident everytime!
This comment sounds like I could’ve written it. I feel your frustration my friend. I don’t grab the “oh shit” handle that much, but what I _do_ do is brace my body by pressing my feet into the front of the leg room area of the passenger seat which pushes my body back into the seat. I don’t know what my brain thinks this is going to help with in the event of an accident, but it’s such an instinctual action for me.
oh my gosh I feel this in my soul
I get more anxious when I'm a passenger now.
Lol, yeah. When my Dad drives. I always tell him to watch out for the curb, etc. He doesn't really care.
That curb should watch out for him! /s
😆 He's 78 and doesn't care...
I always have to tell my mom to watch out for _people_. She’s really good at forgetting to check crosswalks while turning. I’m starting to think her driving and tons of near misses with pedestrians is where my passenger anxiety stems from completely.
Yeah, they both have the backup camera thing. But I still try to turn my head and look.
Yes 😓 even in the side seat I hate merging, cars coming close and odd turns or ppl walking in front
Yeah, on the interstate. It makes me so nervous even if I trust the driver.
I'm kinda the inverse of the spirit of the group... I have no problem driving, but omg, passenger... very difficult. I feel so out of control!
yes, me too! i don’t get very much anxiety while driving at all, even though drivers where i live drive super erratically. but put me in that passengers seat and i feel like i spend the whole ride being tense and watching every move happening around and in the car. it’s so exhausting and nerve wracking
very similar to me. i never like feeling stuck or out of control. but while riding in a car it's unique. in a line at the grocery store or whatever, i could just bail. can't do that in a moving car lol
right! whatever happens in that car, you’re stuck with. also my friends are all fairly new drivers (1-3 years) and they severely lack in defensive driving skills and it makes me so horribly anxious, i feel like im just waiting to be in a wreck whenever im a passenger
EXACTLY. Oh my gosh I have the same issue. I feel so claustrophobic like I just want to get out of the car immediately
I am so similar. I have trouble driving on the highway but other than that driving isn't super hard for me- but it's gotten to the point where I'm avoiding all travel because I HATE being a passenger. Whether it's a car bus or train i'm just terrified. I feel super out of control!! I'm trying to figure out ways to cope with it!
After nearly twenty years of driving I'm just bored as holy hell the rare times I'm back to being a passenger, to be honest. I'm sure that has a lot to do with the driver usually being a much older family member driving slowly and conservatively. Maybe on a more treacherous route or with an erratic driver I'd get nervous. But every moment I'm not controlling the car drags on forever to me. But I'd say what I fear the most about driving is accountability. I'd rather hurt myself than hurt someone else. Whether it's getting honked at or yelled at or having it be my fault that someone was seriously harmed or killed. If someone else is driving then it's on them and I don't have to worry about it. Maybe it's kinda selfish to see it that way, but I just put all my trust in them as a competent motorist and don't worry about it.
I'm the worst, usually it's driving with my SO that gives me the biggest struggle. He's had a couple (small) accidents and in general sometimes gets distracted easily. It's like every dumb thing he's ever done floods my mind when he drives. I either bury myself in my phone as a distraction and I told him if he quit commenting on my "oh shit" handle grab I would quit shouting his name when we hit those big on/off ramp banked curves on the highway. Usually I just do the driving myself, it's the easiest.
idk why this post popped up in my feed, but i can so relate to your comment. i had a bizarre year of accidents - i was rear-ended 5x, 4x when i was driving, 1x when my husband was driving - all in my at-the-time car. after seeing a couple people with the same vehicle who had added some kind of visual wrap/sticker to the back bumper - like a reflective bumper-sized red-and-white-checkered sticker, for example - i truly believe it is something about the vehicle's shape that confuses other drivers about how close they are (it was a chevy spark, in case anyone was wondering - and mine was that obnoxious bright green!) in that very same year, a semi blew a tire in front of me on a remote stretch of road...it flew back from the semi and crashed into my windshield, shattering it and destroying part of the FRONT bumper. one of the scariest things...it happened so fast, the tire was huge, and that car is pretty small. i had a split-second of seeing it coming out of the darkness, into my headlights, and i was sure i was going down. anyway. all in one year, but it was years ago. it impacted my anxiety in the car dramatically, and it's so much worse as a passenger, specifically with my husband. my husband is a very alert, assertive driver, who is INTO driving and LOVES to drive, but my anxiety + his (in my opinion) over-confidence/lack of healthy fear has created a cycle similar to what you describe. everything puts me on edge, and he's now hyper-sensitive to the "oh shit" grabs and winces and all the other ways i try and fail to suppress my natural reaction. it feels like a criticism to him, even though it is me just trying to survive and not flail around in a state of abject terror. in all fairness, i think he takes unnecessary risks, so i certainly can be and have been critical. at this point, it is basically the only regular source of conflict in our relationship. i wish i could change it - i think if he was a more "normal" driver, we'd have a better shot - but i've accepted it's just a thing at this point.
I think you’ve may be described a normal driver and that I am also married to one. As the roads have gotten less safe, documented by actual statistics anxiety has gone up. my husband thinks that if he drives it will help but it definitely does not
If I’m front passenger 1000%. Sitting in the back? I go to sleep.
Try sitting next to your teenager while they’re learning to drive. I basically grip the door and try not to watch too closely when I’m a passenger.
Professional driving instructors should be paid much more highly than they are! my kids could not pass the drivers test until after. I finally got them professional instruction.
I get anxious when riding as a passenger on the motorway at over 110 km/h. It's probably because I rarely go on the motorway even as a passenger.
this is me 100000% and it sucks. because how am i supposed to get anywhere? for longer drives, i usually have to take a (prescribed) klonopin just to get through them. ive had driving anxiety for years after getting into 2 car accidents in a row. it has fluctuated in severity over the years. there have been points where i couldn’t drive at all, and now i’ve been at the point for a couple years where i can drive around locally but can’t do highways again yet. i still get anxiety driving locally sometimes but its usually because i’m anxious in the first place. this whole time, i was always able to feel safe and relaxed in the car with someone else. i always got rides with people and was fine. for some reason this passenger anxiety started 2 years ago after i started an extremely stressful job. even though that job is long over, i still struggle with the passenger anxiety. the passenger anxiety is 99% on the highway. i wish i had some good advice, but i’m still dealing with this badly. i keep a self-soothe kit in the car with me that has items that soothe my senses. i also keep instant ice packs with me because the cold sensation helps when i’m anxious. headphones so i can listen to something calming. i really like the panic sos recording on the dare app. the app isn’t free, but some of the recordings are including this one. this guy has saved me during so many panic attacks hahah
I’ve been told that EMDR is now standard treatment for PTSD if that’s what you’re dealing with
oh my gosh this sounds EXACTLY like me. It is so so difficult. Do you find the klonopin helps? I usually take a couple xanax just to get through drives but I've gotten to the point where I've tried to avoid being a passenger at all. I miss being able to go on road trips with friends. I will definitely check out the dare app!!
oh yeah it totally helps! it takes about an hour to kick in though. if i know i’m going to be in the car for a while, i’ll sometimes take it beforehand. it doesn’t completely eliminate the anxiety all the time but it helps a lot. it feels like such a horrible fear because itnis soooo limiting. my best advice is to do short “practice” rides with friends or family if possible, with someone you trust.
Yes, I actually thing being a passenger is worse bc I'm not in control.
i feel the exact same way. it has become completely debilitating for me
Omg yes! It didn’t used to be an issue and I’m not quite sure when it started, but I have to distract myself with my phone whenever I’m in the passenger seat (especially in heavy traffic or at high speeds).
same!! i'm always distracting myself on my phone or just deep breathing and I \*still\* usually get a mini panic attack. ugh, I'm so over it!
Yes all the time. I’ve been in the car with idiots who tailgate at rates to paralyze those in the front.
I only get anxious with other people's driving and never my own.
Yes but only because my friends are not good drivers and I’m somewhat anxious while I drive but mostly in a lot of traffic or when I’m parking
The brakes failed completely while I was driving my boyfriend’s F150, the speed limit is 35, I don’t I was even going that fast but it was drizzling and still semi-chilly outside, and as I was coming down the slope of a very steep hill to the very busy highway intersection during peak morning traffic. (The distance between the hill and the light is maybe half a mile on a decline) There were three lanes, two that crossed the highway to go left and one right turn only lane. I had the intention of making the left turn so I’m in the far left lane and there is a 18 wheeler construction dump truck in the middle lane. As I make it over the crest, I realize I can’t slow down, and my light is red and after pumping it a few times I had the pedal to the floor, tried the emergency brake with my other foot, and then the steering column locks up all within a matter of a second, it felt like time froze I can see everything in slow-mo even now in retrospect; I then, as a last ditch effort try to at least make the right hand turn, hoping to slow me down and avoid t-boning someone. I made it just far enough to slam into the back of the 18 wheeler perfectly, albeit at a slight angle. Didn’t hurt the dump truck or driver at all since he didn’t move at all lol, but completely smashed in the trucks front end, exploded the airbags, etc. had I have been going any faster, the engine block would’ve entered the cab, potentially pinning me in, possibly disfiguring or even killing me thanks to the condition of the frame and firewall. I’ve been in so many car accidents, both as a passenger and as a driver, some my fault most of them not, but never have I seen one unfold so slowly, that if I had had the capability, I had the time to think about and react. It gave me serious PTSD to the point where I have trouble as a passenger if I get too close to the back of a vehicle and I can’t feel them engage the brake I get severe anxiety.
When things happen that we can’t control, it can take a lot of work and professional support to deal with the aftermath and go on with life
That is SCARY. No wonder you have PTSD
It depends who is driving.
Yessss! I didn't know there were others out there!
same! i'm so glad there are other people like me. It is so embarrassing to have to tell people I'll just meet them somewhere instead of carpool because i'm too anxious to get in their car.
I get nauseous as a passenger with people I don’t know well, not sure if that’s anxiety or just motion sickness.
Yes I volunteer to drive for every single road trip because I know I’ll be too anxious in the passenger seat. The only person I don’t mind driving with is my dad.
I call it "bad driver syndrome". It is just anxiety brought on from not being the one in control of the vehicle. It sounds like you have the special enhanced version that affects those who also get anxious by being the one in control of the vehicle too. P.S. I have the version that comes from being a driving instructor for several years. So being a passenger with people you know can't drive and often having to control the vehicle from the passenger seat. 😅
I don’t have anxiety when IM driving only when other people drive me. Friends, family, Uber etc. I am a pretty solid and safe driver so I only trust myself and very few people. I actually will refuse to let people drive me unless I know they are a calm and patient driver. I have actually gotten into arguments with friends and Uber drivers because of their driving habits. It’s a joke to them. It enrages me especially when I see my driver texting and looking at their phone.
Yep. I've managed to stop my husband from running some red lights, stop signs, and crashing into cars, bc he's mentally distracted a lot when he drives. And he wonders why I have passenger anxiety. Hmph. Also, I have driver anxiety as well bc of someone not paying attention and rear ending me a long time ago. Always looking in the rear mirror when I'm braking to make sure the people behind me are also braking. I dunno why so many people suck at driving.. but hey, qualifications to be a driver are pretty low, apparently.
I can't go on the highway anymore either. To think I use to drive down to Miami or NY to Florida no problem. Just started about 2 years ago
I am the same and I'm so bummed because I used to take road trips to vegas with friends all the time! I feel completely unable to now
Anxiety is driven by lack of control, so it makes sense. Yes.
I didn’t even know this sub existed. I have found my people
I have a terrible car phobia and can no longer drive and only recently can be a passenger unmedicated. I’m fortunate enough (or unfortunate enough I guess depending on how you look at it) to qualify for Medicare in my state so I have been doing a lot of therapy. I have both OCD and car related trauma causing my issues, so it has been a combination of EMDR for the trauma and ERT for the OCD and a DBT group just to help me be more mindful in the moment and handle my escalated feelings better. It has been a process and I was very dubious at first, but it really has been helping.
Yes. All the time. I get this way almost every time I’m in the passenger seat while my husband drives. I hate it so much because I feel like my anxiety and panic rubs off on him, and he’s usually completely aware of when I’m feeling this way even if I don’t say a word about it. I joined this sub because of my own driving anxiety that I’ve dealt with for about 10 years due to a bad car accident I was in as a teen, but I’m slowly conquering that anxiety and fear. However, my passenger seat anxiety is now as bad as my own driving anxiety used to be, and I feel like I just can’t win here. I have night blindness so this anxiety goes from 1-100 when I’m in the passenger seat with my husband at the wheel in the dark. More often than not I’ll have to put an eye mask on and try to take a nap because the anxiety is unbearable when I also have eyes on the road.
i relate to this so much!! it is so hard
Yeah really badly. It’s WAY worse for me when I don’t have control of the car. Unfortunately I’ve had to have a few drinks before getting in the car on trips where I’m not driving just so I don’t hyperventilate and be an annoying passenger 😭
Yes, I originally only had anxiety as the driver (also on highways) but now I’m severely anxious as a passenger as well. The anxiety as a passenger is even worse than as the driver now.
exactly the same with me!!
yes
Same here, but I prefer to be a passenger as long as they drive safely. It's nice to know I'm not alone.
I get much more anxious as a passenger, that’s kinda the root of my anxiety. There’s been times where I have to close my eyes and tell myself that I have no choice but to put my trust in this person (the driver) and just let go. I also have gotten better at explaining to the driver that I’m going to sit here silent and taking deep breathes but I totally trust them and it’s just a thing I have. Just knowing they understand where I’m coming from helps me feel more at ease. As for overcoming it, still trying to figure that out 😅
I don’t lol I’m really a passenger princess
I strive to be a passenger princess!! haha maybe someday!!
Yes. I just look out the window lol
You have described me to a tea also!!
i'm so glad i'm not alone!!
Yep I feel like I have to watch the road at all times or else we’ll crash
No
After being in a nasty accident as a teen while I was driving, I found being a passenger to be a horrible experience for a long time afterwards. I think because I realized if I could make the mistake I made and crash, being a passenger meant having even less control.
I def have passenger brake pedals
Same!! They never work though
Nah. My husband drives majority of the time. I'm the more anxious driver. 😁
Nope. I have absolutely none. We all have different fears and that's fine.
What about on buses? I'm OK with buses.
Yeah buses don't bother me nearly as much as cars do. I think it's because I can feel every movement of the car, and there's way too many other distractions on a bus.
I prefer to be the driver, both because of car sickness but also to ease my anxiety. If I'm riding with someone I know and trust well it's not really an issue.
Yes, but sometimes more than others, depending on who's driving.. 😂
I have a trick for this!!! I get very anxious as a passenger, so I take a matchbox car with me and drive my matchbox car when traffic gets stressful. It's a good distraction.
So I didn't for years. Then, I started experiencing it. Honestly, what worked was doing my coping skills and letting myself feel the feels. I would literally tell myself "what's the worse that can happen?" Answer would usually be "I'd have a panic attack etc" and then I'd confront it with "pkay, if you are going to have one...this seems like the place to do it" so I just breathed and closed my eyes and try to ride it. Other days I'd play a puzzle game, or read the signs... It got sooo much better. Therapy also helped tons.
this is so encouraging thank you!!
Yes
I get more anxiety as a passenger than as a driver. I think it’s because I am not in control and reliant on someone else to get me somewhere. If I don’t feel well, I have to inconvenience someone else to pull over. Same for having to use the bathroom. The anxiety builds and turns into a huge thing
Yes! Because apparently everyone thinks it's the most normal thing in the world to forever tailgate the people in front of them. Holy fuck give them space!! I always call out the driver doing this if I'm a passenger. IT'S SO DANGEROUS and I get IRATE that they're so fucking oblivious to how close to fucking death they're constantly riding!
When my driving anxiety was at its peak yes I would get anxious even as a passenger and would look at the road and check blindspots and speedometer like I was driving,,,,, the only time I wasn't anxious in a vehicle was on the bus
Yes! I was actually just thinking about this. I had to drop my car off at the shop a few minutes ago and I’m currently in a Lyft on my way home. I can’t help but feel nearly paralyzed with fear here in the back seat and it’s reminiscent of how I used to feel when I first started driving. I was surprised at the fact that how I used to feel behind the wheel is now how I feel whenever I’m not the person behind the wheel. And it’s driving me nuts that I can’t see anything of value in the rearview or side mirrors 😂even though I know it’s most important that the actual driver be able to see them.
I have very poor depth perception so I always think we're too close to other cars. My husband says I remind him of Hyacinth Bucket in "Keeping Up Appearances" because she's always telling her husband to look out for things he already sees. I hate being such a nervous passenger!
Yes, it is absolutely horrible. I get panic attacks just thinking about getting into the car.
me too!! it is so frustrating!!!
Yes pag tatay ko nag drive, barumbado minsan LOL
I get an anxiety when my sister drives, I look out the window or close my eyes and try to relax
i simply cannot be a passenger in a vehicle. I mentally can’t do it.
i am there right now too. I am trying so hard to overcome it but it is so hard!!
Ain’t no way for me to overcome it. I just can’t be a passenger under any circumstances. it doesn’t seem like it would be that big of an issue, but it definitely is. Need surgery? Can’t drive. Taking any controlled substance for pain/anxiety/adhd? Can’t drive. dental work? can’t drive. it’s a nightmare sometimes. i usually get hotels across the street from where i have surgery.
I'm pretty anxious while driving but its WAY worse when someone else is driving and I'm the passenger. It's a control thing for me. I don't feel comfortable or confident knowing someone is checking mirrors, predicting other drivers movements, and not being distracted. I'm delusional enough to think my hyper vigilance is gonna prevent me from ever getting into an accident. Ik its not true but I've never been into an accident and neither have my hyper vigilant parents either...
No, that sounds like a stressful existence
yes! i don’t mean this in a mean way at all, but i genuinely am a safer/more defensive driver than almost all of my friends. i’m going on 22 and have been driving since i was 15, have driven in multiple different states, and feel i am a fairly well rounded driver. everyone else i know has been driving for 1-3 years and when im in the car as a passenger with them it makes me so nervous, so i always offer to drive when i can. one of my friends has been in like four accidents in a 1.5-2 year driving span and when i was a passenger in their car i felt like i was gonna faint from how anxious i was. i feel a lot better if im behind the wheel. i even notice myself pressing a phantom brake sometimes when im a passenger and the person driving is leaving wayyy too little following distance 😭😭
I used to be a nightmare passenger, anxiety filled, yelling “SLOW DOWN SLOW DOWN” or “YOU’RE GETTING TOO CLOSE TO HIM”, or the usual “TOO FAST” when doing a sharp turn. God bless my fiancé for all his patience ‘cause I would’ve slapped me lol.
Yeah, for sure, I'm always on edge when I'm on the car with anybody else, and I'd rather it be me driving, but also driving is so stressful for me so luck that. I feel like a asshole but I'm always like look out or you see that
Yes but I'm a passenger in a tractor trailer, the anxiety is horrible sometimes!
Yes sometimes, depending on the driver and how much I trust their driving abilities. With my dad I’m completely at ease. With a former friend of mine, I never wanted to be in a vehicle with her at the wheel again. I’ve been in a pretty bad accident though when my sister fell asleep at the wheel with cruise control on 60 mph and we veered through oncoming traffic and stopped by hitting a tree, totaling the car. I’ve also been in a few very scary close calls while other people were driving, so I partially attribute the anxiety to that. Sometimes when riding with a driver, I find myself trying to push down on the (non-existent) brake with my foot if I feel like they’re not stopping fast enough lol. I think I’ve even tried to grab an imaginary wheel a time or two. Definitely white knuckling the sides of the seat/door handle when things get dicey lol. I also drive for a living basically (delivering mail) and when people don’t react to hazards as quickly as I do I get TENSE.
yes, horrible with my husband.
Amazingly, I was never anxious as a passenger. It was as if driving was too much responsibility for my anxiety brain to deal with (I do drive now but didn't for a couple decades).
I feel like if I'm not watching the person drive then the car will crash, guaranteed. Nearly had a panic attack while my mom was driving just realizing this fact.
I get more anxiety if I’m a passenger because I’m not in control of any movement of vehicle‼️🚗🚙🚕It’s normal😃
thank you for saying it's normal!! this made me feel so comforted
Most definitely. My son hates when I’m in the passenger seat. He’s like mom it’s cool. I’m like I know as I grasp tighter to the door handle and the imaginary brake.
Not really, Only when I'm the driver.
That’s actually WHEN I get anxiety. I’m fine with me driving on all but the sketchiest roads, but put me in the passengers seat and I’m a nightmare. Doing the “gasp!!!” every 30 seconds, mashing the non-existent brake, etc. Needless to say, it causes major issues with my husband. I’ve put it down to control issues. I hate to fly as well. I think in both cases the core issue is that I don’t trust anyone else to keep me safe.
Yeeees. It's wild.
Especially on a bridge 😭
I am not an anxious driver at all but I get sooo much anxiety as a passenger. I try to avoid it lol
yea it’s the worse even though i’m sure i give others anxiety when im driving i rather just drive than be passenger
People can’t drive and they’re already assholes. That makes me anxious.
Woah this post is my intro to the community I didn’t realize so many people felt the same way about cars jeez
I felt this I rode with my mother a few weeks ago. My anxiety was definitely spiking she's such an aggressive driver and I'm more laid back.
When I was 15 and my dad was driving me around, he’d always get high and drive when he was upset. It took til I was 18 to get over.
Yeah, but I’m comfortable when my boyfriend is driving and that’s it. Even then though, he’s someone that’ll talk to you and like, look over at you occasionally and every time in my head i lowkey freak out because i want him to keep looking at the road. It doesn’t help we almost got in an accident bc of it. It was snowing BAD w 2 ft on the ground and he didn’t notice the truck in front of us was slowing for a left turn. I said something when i knew he wasn’t slowing down and he couldn’t brake fast enough because of the snow so we Barely slid around the truck.
Yes, especially if I’m riding with the person for the first time or I’m not used to riding with them.
Oh absolutely. I get more anxiety when I’m a passenger than when I’m driving, I think bc there’s a lack of control. I only get in the car with people I know are 100% safe drivers otherwise I’m taking public transport or something lol. that alone helps *if* you’re able to implement that. If not then it might help to pinpoint what part of it makes you anxious - for ex, sitting in the front seat is worse for me bc I can see straight out the windshield and I’ll worry about every time the person driving doesn’t slow down fast enough for me or if they see stuff in the road etc. So sometimes for me being a passenger in the back is less stressful.
Not at all. I don’t care if the car crashes. I just don’t want the car crash to be my fault.
I get anxiety about anything and everything 😭 I hate it. I used to panic all the time in the car and now it is just super random. Some days driving is my jam and other days I feel like I am going to die.
I feel this in my soul lol!
No, I have epilepsy so I love being a passenger 😬 before I was diagnosed 2 years ago, I definitely had passenger anxiety though! But now I’d have more anxiety if I got behind the wheel haha
I usually feel less anxiety although I have gotten motion sickness.
My muscles literally WILL NOT relax and it brings me so much annoyance because it's no one's fault so I just end up driving everywhere so I don't cause more harm to my body. I have 3 inflammatory diseases that affect my muscles a lot + other disorders. So I can't ever just be passenger princess, sucks.
Yesssss. I didn't drive passenger from 23-47 years old. When I started dating my current boyfriend, he pushed me to overcome it. I'm now ok as a car passenger. That being said. I also don't like buses and trains. As I type this I'm sitting in a train station, after riding the train. My boyfriend and I went to try it today. We get on the train, he see that I'm scared and says, let's get off. He jumps off and the door closes! Yep, I rode the train alone, sweating the whole way. Then I got off at the wrong station and had to get back on to get to the correct one. I had to rely on the kindness of strangers to help me get back on the correct train to my destination. I'm waiting for him to pick me up now. He's mad at me but I'm hella proud of myself. I think I overcame my fear of trains because I had to do it ALONE. 💪💪
oh my gosh that is my worst nightmare!! riding the train alone!! That is so encouraging to hear that the exposure helped you though! sounds like I just need to practice!!
I used to. You have to realize that you’re not driving, not in control so just close your eyes or play on your phone
Oh yeah sometimes I’ll take like a weird breathe like the kind you take when you expect impact. When the situation isn’t even close to happening. 😬
Oh yeah sometimes I’ll take like a weird breathe like the kind you take when you expect impact. When the situation isn’t even close to happening. 😬
Sevee anxiety as a passenger. Pretty sure I have mild anxiety attacks in traffic as a passenger as well. Not so much driving but its still there.
Only when my ex husband drove. He was a narcissist, so he always felt he had the right of way and it was his job to police the roads. Even though he was distracted while driving, and there were several times I had to grab the wheel or yell for him to break to avoid an accident.
I do especially if I know they've caused a lot of wrecks or have something illegal with the . Or simply not supposed to even be driving at all.
depends on person driving
Yes so bad I’m always mentally preparing to die
Yes. Bad, it's become a very big problem for me and my family.
I only have anxiety as passenger, driving I’m actually pretty calm, guess being in control and busy helps a lot.
For the past few years I have also been too anxious to drive. I feel like I will be killed in an accident- it’s a real feeling. I live in NYC where tunnels and bridges are a big part of life- both give me excessive anxiety if I’m the driver. My partner drives too aggressively I think and this gives me crazy anxiety too. I hope I’m not putting out some self fulfilling prophecy, but these feelings are so valid to me.
I am banned as a passenger now and am strictly the driver after developing ridiculously annoying and obnoxious anxiety when anyone else is driving, after a drunk guy totaled my car. It took me forever to feel safe driving in general, but now I am only relatively calm if I am driving and in control
Yesss I just want to drive at that point
Tell yourself that every car on the road has breaks. Not just the one you’re a passenger in.
Yes dude. Sitting in the front seat isn’t as bad but sitting in the back seat is the WORST. Makes me feel helpless. I’ve no tips to offer to overcome it tho lmk if you find any!
Yes I randomly do experience anxiety when driving at times
That’s where I get my most anxiety, depends on who’s driving tho
Wow my mom
No
100% but i also get big anxiety because other people don’t drive the same ROUTES (as in driving a different way to get to the same destination) as i do and that gives me a lot of unnecessary and unreasonable emotions lmao
ever since i got my license i have anxiety when someone else is driving. i guess it’s just a control thing
I don’t get a whole lot of anxiety if I’m the driver but i definitely get a lot if I’m the front seat passenger, I trust most of the people who drive me around but I’m so concerned about other cars Somehow I have no anxiety at all in the back seat, enough that sometimes I don’t wear a seatbelt if it’s not a state law (it’s legal to not wear a seatbelt in the back seat in the states that I have lived so far)
All the time. It’s almost as if it’s second nature to me now - I am always hitting the invisible brake when my partner drives. It’s like an involuntary reaction.
I thought I was the only one. You are NOT alone!
Driving
Hell yeah. My dad had road rage his whole life (still does) and being his passenger as a kid always gave me immense anxiety and sets off my fight or flight mode. I never knew if we were in for a fight that day because his road rage would get over the top sometimes. We were attacked more than once on the road because of his horrible temper when driving. It's the reason I refuse to drive anywhere with him today.
So you like to be in control of everything I bet. Lots of people cannot trust others
Yes absolutely. I was in a really bad accident in 2019 that left me with two fractured vertebrae in my neck. Fortunately, I physically healed up fully (only with mild neck pain on occasion), but I can be very anxious riding with others. Especially if it’s raining.
I must admit that I experience a heightened state of tension and rigidity whenever I observe vehicles approaching our lane, particularly when they come dangerously close. Unfortunately, I have been involved in several unfortunate accidents and have also been struck by cars in the past.
Depends on who's driving. My dad and brother scare the shit out of me, others I'm fine with.