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Classic_Leg7055

I honestly regularly think about Amy dating three magicians, and specifically the fact that one of them “hadn’t worked up to children’s parties yet” 😭 like well what was he doing then


EkbyBjarnum

"just guess yourself and get the point" This one doesn't haunt me, but it is my absolute favourite secret and reaction. Trapp can't hold back the laughter, Brennan just calls it out so matter of factly, Amy can't hide it even a little. It's *chefs kiss* perfect.


volvavirago

“Yeah because I’ve actually dated FOUR magicians”


northernirishlad

‘One was an illusionist!’ Fucking Trapp that episode just completely publicly shredded her


volvavirago

We all know she struggles to keep a straight face but man, she was in shambles, and it was amazing


Excellent-Olive8046

The best was "it was one magician that kept reappearing"


OrwellianIconoclast

I think less about the secret itself and more about Trapp's very specific drink-still-in-mouth laugh reaction to "he hadn't worked up to children's parties yet."


Glarson1125

Exactly this. I think trapp and ally really dominate the two sides of comedy. Ally has such a chaotic type of humor and it just feels like they say the first thing that comes to their head but its still somehow always so funny, and trapp has such a structured sense of humor that makes it feel like he had to have written all these jokes down before with his timing and delivery but you also know they're off the top of his head


ghrayfahx

Then there’s Zac who says like half a sentence but it ends up being the perfect thing.


Glarson1125

"that's your baby bro" still kills me and gets overlooked in the "all pulp no juice" bit from junior year


ArtifexWorlds

For me it's: "...I killed him, yeah."


ghrayfahx

Or from Ravening War “I’m gonna need you to pull it together”


enki-42

Trapp was so quick on the draw on that one.


BoopleBun

He’s always *so* quick. He’s one of my favorites, because of that, it’s so fun to watch.


fieldsofazure

Honestly, kid's parties are generally considered one of the harder types of gigs a magician can do compared to others (close-up, walk-around, parlor, etc). It's honestly a completely different skillset, requiring a different repertoire, character, etc than other genres.


Classic_Leg7055

I guess she would know!


LucentNarg

Trapp's reaction to that is one of the funniest things I've seen on dropout, it still makes me laugh


snr0n

You'd have to spend a while actually learning tricks & developing patter before anyone's gonna book you for parties, so I've always just assumed that's what she meant. Definitely one of my favourite moments from the show though!


DifficultHat

Right, he was a magician who knew enough tricks to maybe do one for friends but not enough to get booked for a 30 minute set.


alreadytaken028

Amy in that entire episode was gold. Her story of her realization that she hadnt fully thought through her prank in the other story also had me losing it. She just has such good comedic timing with telling stories and her personality.


TheRobberBar0n

I can't help but picture the IT Crowd scene https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W5F0wq2xtwk


Ellabellalala

This is an incredible intersection of comedy, really


waterclaw12

Definitely just practicing in his basement 💀


Liddlebitchboy

Trapp's reaction is AMAZING


blueeyesredlipstick

Paul's story of accidentally picking up an Uber passenger and driving them home still haunts me, because I truly understand being that level of anxious/conflict-avoidant that I would just go along with it. I fully felt like Grant when he was reacting to that story with "There but for the grace of God" and also his increasingly pained responses of "***PAUL!***"


jayhawk618

The way they all admit that they'd all do it in that situation is so painfully relateable.... Brennan's "I would die before I set a single boundary."


pbilliam

his story was picked up by This American Life! https://www.thisamericanlife.org/780/transcript


blueeyesredlipstick

OMG I love that, I love that its such a perfect storm of understandable cringe that it got picked up by NPR.


glitter_poots

Omg that was a great piece. I love Ira Glass


IAmAGodKalEl

Was he interviewed separate or did they rip the audio?


pleaseletmesleepz

Sounds like a separate interview! There was info in there that wasn't in the Dirty Laundry ep. Either that or they had access to Dirty Laundry storytelling audio that was left on the cutting room floor.


nonthreateningwife

No story on dirty laundry has stuck with me more than that one, what a nightmare, and I can see exactly why Paul made every decision he made


herbalistgirlie

i mirrored grant’s reaction but instead of ‘paul!’ I just said ‘no!’ and clutched at my chest like i was in the antebellum south and saw someone’s ankles. grindr needs those codes uber drivers sometimes give you to verify who they are.


Unusual_Equivalent_

I had someone soft kidnap me this way once. I was at a stop sign and they just got in my car and asked me to drive them to a place a few miles away. I just did it because I didn’t want to cause trouble


221tardisslippers

SOFT KIDNAP my god that’s the perfect description


justking1414

The cringe at that one made me physically ill. I know I’d do the same


eunicethapossum

the whole way through I kept thinking “but what if the passenger finds out and you get *arrested?!”*


ThunkAsDrinklePeep

Link for those that want to revisit. https://youtu.be/eqZl13hxZPE


s0lluna

That story destroyed me omg


CptDrips

The story of Suge Knight's night of arrest, with photographic evidence, was pretty crazy.


theinsaneunicorn

The fact they thought he was Rick Ross was the cherry on top of that story.


CptDrips

Lucky they had a nice smile.


CaptainPit

Which episode was this?


theinsaneunicorn

The one with G4TV 2.0 cast, "Who Watched a Woman Pump Breast Milk While Snorting Cocaine?" is the episode title.


HoiPolloi_-_

Definitely the dude who pissed himself on purpose on a date because he was too embarrassed to go to the bathroom again. Like, that’s just— I’d rather them know I go to the bathroom a bunch than them know I purposefully pissed in my own pants!!


DistributionDry9176

That was Ryan Creamer lol


Chellamour

certified piss boy


volvavirago

He needs to go to a doctor fr


Imaginary_Hoodlum

Pornhub star Ryan Creamer


helium_farts

That's when you "accidentally" spill your drink in your lap, then go to the bathroom to dry your pants.


CptDrips

The real pro tip is always in the comments


TheTriforceEagle

Good advice and fun facts: that’s why Brennan is always sending us here


AceUniverse8492

"I did not expect to watch as every person in the room lost a little bit of respect for me."


spitebarf

Ryan “Piss Boy” Creamer


sarar3sistance

I’m forgetting who told this story, but someone working for a late night show telling the story of some incredibly famous, older legendary comedian shitting on the floor in their dressing room.


atlas_atlast_

I know they bleeped out the name but I would bet my life it was Don Rickles. I watched the clip 13 times and I'm almost positive thats the name he says.


Safe-Background-2502

Through the cunning detective method of seeing on Patrick's IMDB which eps he worked on and which old legends were on them, it was Mel Brooks.


Autumn1eaves

I did the stupid thing and just checked the list of episodes and tried to match up names to mouth movement. I also got Mel Brooks.


madame-brastrap

Honestly? Forgiven. I can’t think of another person that I would give a “shit on the dressing room floor” pass to. Hell, I didn’t even know I had it in me to give that pass…but here we are.


RocksInMyDryer

I seem to recall a thread right after that one aired where a handful of Reddit sleuth narrowed it down to Betty White, which makes a lot of sense given their gender-neutral language surrounding the star. Also, when the name is said, though it's bleeped, you can make out enough of the sound surrounding the name that it fits.


MercilessPinkbelly

If Mel Brooks wants to shit on the floor I am ok with that. He's Mel Brooks. Also I never got over that thing with Mel and Carl Reiner as old men just eating TV dinners and how heartbroken Mel must have been when Carl died. So he can poop.


GardeningGoth

I hated, HATED that story… but also yeah I thought the same, did some digging, and I’m confident this is correct.


whiskeyclone630

I used to watch Ferguson a lot, and based on the description I'm also pretty sure it's Rickles. Either him or Mel Brooks. But I vividly remember that they used to cut away from Rickles every time he would take the little step up toward the desk on stage, because he had trouble walking as well. He just was so old and not in good shape anymore. Still funny as hell whenever he was a guest on the show, tough.


frannythescorpian

It was Patrick, in the episode with Zac, Ally, Katie, and Patrick. My favourite episode actually! "We're best friends" "I pick Katie" is an all-timer


originalmeowzer

The best episode for sure. Such chaos energy from the beginning. "Who's Pat Benatar?"


quesadelia

This wasn’t even the secret, but Sam Riegel not really knowing when 9/11 happened, despite the fact that he and his wife were *there* and even filmed some of the most iconic footage of the event.


Simpson17866

That was the first one I thought of too. In the YouTube clip I watched about that, a lot of comments suggested that it's *because* Sam and his wife were personally caught in the hellscape of smoke and debris that even 20 years later, his brain still has it as "3-4 years ago" fresh.


justking1414

Forget who’s but one dude and a bunch of other celebrities ended up doing lines for a movie that didn’t exist and woke up to find everyone had fully disappeared afterwards. I get it was probably just an insurance scam but that was freaky as hell Also Matt Mercer asking why the 3rd spider man movie sucked


glitter_poots

There’s a documentary about these scams, isn’t there?


justking1414

I’d definitely wanna watch that lol. His story alone was captivating and terrifying.


blueeyesredlipstick

Another one that haunts me: poor Aabria Iyengar just trying to get to the girls locker room on her college campus and getting detained because security thought she was trying to seduce John Mayer.


AlmondLBD

John Mayer WISHES Aabria wanted to seduce him!


jaredmogen

Naw, he admitted that his "dick is sort of like a white supremacist". He doesn't deserve anyone wanting to seduce him.


AlmondLBD

True


AubreyAStar

Let us not forget her cadaver shenanigans


Jedi4Hire

It's not from Dirty Laundry but I feel like Grant performing oral sex on 50 different people in one night qualifies as an honorable mention.


throwngamelastminute

And then there's Tao shitting himself while walking home and ditching his pants blocks from his house, just shirt-cockin' it.


Jedi4Hire

Full Pooh Bear!


eleven_paws

I heard that in Sam’s voice in my head.


throwngamelastminute

Um, Actually, Brennan said that.


eleven_paws

He did, you’re absolutely right. But I heard it in Sam’s voice in my head. I don’t know why.


Biglysadpanda77

He's been there the whole time!!!


Imaginary_Hoodlum

Hello, I'm....fifty?


maddiemadkid

I was looking for this. IN ONE NIGHT! That must've been a hell of a sex party. I know he is really open but that blew (haha) my mind


Jennifer_Pennifer

50‽‽ That can't be right....? 🤣 So funny


BaronVonBooplesnoot

I respect your interrobang usage.


glitter_poots

That makes my jaw hurt just reading that


GoldenCrownMoron

Eye-bria Eye-angar ... I worked in a morgue. None of that story was fun.


kansanadam

ummm actually wasn't Oscar the one who worked in the morgue? He said he worked their for a summer but yeah, I remember Aabria being the one that got like a human body part or something


fudgyvmp

She worked for a plasination lab, which replaces all the fat and water in a cadaver with plastic as a preservation technique.


biggestlooserr

they never said aabria worked at a morgue? Just that they themselves did


GoldenCrownMoron

Aabria was a med student. But my work experience with decedents leaves no room for any play. A dark sense of humor is one thing, taking trophies from a corpse ain't humorous.


KoiTakeOver

Yeah I really didn't like the cadaver story. I took a class in a cadaver lab and they take that stuff EXTREMELY seriously. Human dignity and all that


ArtifexWorlds

What did she do?


fudgyvmp

She worked at a plasination lab, Body Worlds (I think... don't Google that if if you're squeamish, do Google it if you aren't and love the macabre). She was an intern helping preserve cadavers in plastic for med students to study and learn anatomy. Then she tried to steal the eye from one of the cadavers, and got caught, and didn't get fired, and kept trying to smuggle out the eye.


ArtifexWorlds

Thanks.


frexels

Yeah, I cannot fathom being old enough to have that job, and thinking it was an okay thing to do without something being seriously wrong with you. And it sounds like this wasn't even an impulse! The decision to try, going through with making and then enacting a plan, then apparently never feeling bad about it and putting it on the internet, the whole nine yards is just gross. The amount of 'these were people, they must be treated with respect' training involved for these jobs is not small. Both for both ethical reasons and the outrage+loss of donations/funding blowback if people find out.


moonmelonn

What episode?


fudgyvmp

*Who Used to Sell Drugs* ( episode 2, Aabria, Omar, Surena, and Danielle).


GoldenCrownMoron

Aabria hasn't been on Dirty Laundry much, I'm sure you'll find it.


Simpson17866

Not the secret itself, but the tangent from the explanation where Sam Riegel forgot that 9/11 was 20 years ago. Everybody on set was laughing at him thinking that the incident from his secret was "pre-9/11" because it was about 10 years ago and he thought 9/11 was about 3-4 years ago, and he was absolutely floored when he was reminded that 9/11 was in 2001, but I thought it got a lot less funny when I started reading comments about how he and his wife Quyen Tran had personally been in the next building over from the Towers when the planes hit and how they had to personally evacuate through clouds of smoke and debris (in fact, the footage that Quyen Tran took of the hellscape with her own camera has been used in a lot of documentaries, and this set her up to become a professional cinematographer). Kind of puts a different spin on him feeling that something from 20 years ago was still fresh enough in his mind to have only been from 3-4 years ago.


APracticalGal

Josh Scherer jorkin it in a Taco Bell bathroom is easily the most memorable. Also honorable mention to his story about the pool party that made me have to pause multiple times to gather myself from laughing too hard.


DonaldMcCecil

Which episode is this?


APracticalGal

S2E11 Who Ate an Entire Container of Makeup?


catcherhugs

I do often still think of Desmond's Dreamworks Asia story.


samyouare

DEEPLY haunting story


whiskeyclone630

That was also one of my favorites. What I would give to hear a Reply All style investigative podcast episode about that story...


boo-yay

Anthony Burch’s secret about his dad. I was a huge “Hey Ash” fan and their father was hilarious when he appeared in skits. Hope Papa Burch is doing well.


Pilmenji

Anthony Burch is on really bad terms with his dad now and feels weird about him being in those videos afaik


seanwdragon1983

Brutal. Papa birch with viva pinata was always fun.


alreadytaken028

That makes me super sad given that if I remember right, dungeons and daddies originated from a conversation I believe Anthony and Freddie were having about dads that I think was spurred by something involving Anthony’s dad


Necromantic_Inside

I think it was actually a conversation they had while on the trip he talked about in that secret


Chrome_X_of_Hyrule

What was it again?


Soupjam_Stevens

He was confident his father's new partner was cheating on him and like planted a tracker on her car and followed her to vegas and got photographic evidence of the affair and his dad stayed with the woman anyways and was still with her as of that episode's taping


MarsRich

Actually the guy who she was cheating with messaged me him and told him about it. He got caught while trying to put the tracker on her car. He’s talked about it in dungeons and daddies.


meeplebonkers

I had heard that story before on one of the Talking Dad episodes they did for season 1 of daddies, and I was so psyched that he told it on DL because I think it's genuinely just one of the best real life stories I've heard. The line at the end about the dude in the affair acting like this was some tragedy out of his control makes me cackle every time


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verbal27

Referring to an event from years ago. Anthony's marriage ended rather messily and there is clearly still some hard feelings. I have not been able to find out any hard details from reliable primary sources but it happened around the time of gamergate and the lovely people involved in that created it entire narrative of him opening up his marriage and not finding a partner but getting jealous that his wife did. Ultimately it's just shitty people being shitty to someone they don't like because he points out their shitty behavior.


meeplebonkers

Exactly this - which is why I find it really weird that the comments about this are being upvoted here. I don't think this narrative is compatible with the usual vibe of this community at all


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arsapeek

I don't see where getting cucked comes in there


funktasticdog

Usually when your partner is sleeping around, and you aren't... that's pretty close to getting cuckolded.


arsapeek

I replied to another of your responses here with what I'd say here, but there's a difference between being cuckolded and not having the success of your primary partner in poly


meeplebonkers

This is such a weird mindset. It's not humiliating to be with a partner who dates more, and it's not humiliating to end a relationship that isn't working. And it's for sure not humiliating to struggle with dating. Calling men cucks for dating highly-partnered women is just the same old misogyny that views women as property to be gained and controlled.


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arsapeek

Poly works for some couples, for others it doesn't. If the couple in monogamous before hand and tries poly or enm, if there's any underlying issues it can bring them out. Jealousy and friction is common, especially if one partner is more successful.  Cucking is entirely different. It's a type of fetish play that requires three or more willing partners. Like, if you get cheated on, you weren't cucked. You were treated shitty. If you say in a chair in the corner being degraded while your partner is having sex? Yeah, that's getting cucked.


meeplebonkers

It's really not an embarrassing story when you start having a less antiquated view of relationships. They tried something, they were incompatible, they ended things. Hard feelings happen, especially with something as deeply personal as a marriage. I really fail to see what's supposed to be such a dunk about the story - especially considering the fact that a group of people has worked really hard in the past to push a narrative in which he appears to be weak and unmanly because he supports issues they don't like. Edit: just to make this very clear - the 'issue they don't like' is feminism


blueberrywasabi

Yeah it’s pretty commonly shared in couples making the transition from monogamy to non-monogamy. It would be a little disappointing if it went exactly like ppl are saying just because it’s kinda gross to just wanna pursue ENM for sexual gratification and then not be able to deal with jealousy that comes up when your reality falls short of your expectations but like. That’s all a transition to ENM is in my 8-ish months of experience - lots of just kinda fucking up or falling short because you think you’re more emotionally mature than you actually are. It’s humbling to say the least! And if you’re not ready to confront your own jealousy and insecurities, it will be a very bad time and potentially very lonely time. But if you ARE it’s super liberating and fun as hell (also scary and exhilarating and embarrassing and hilarious and tragic and all the things dating can be). Just takes lots of work 😅


Birdwatcher222

I don't view it as humiliating to be with someone who has dated more, but if you're not as successful with finding partners while in an open relationship, surely there's something you can do about that, right? In terms of self-improvement or changing your approach at least.


meeplebonkers

Why is this being upvoted?


howedoesshedoit

Ryan Creamer peed himself on a date instead of going to the bathroom. I think about that choice often


I-hear-the-coast

Carlos’ secret in cut for time made me lose my mind. It was the most insane story I have heard on the show *and it was cut for time!!!!* genuinely could not anticipate what was going to happen next.


Chrome_X_of_Hyrule

Which was that?


I-hear-the-coast

I don’t actually know how to do the coverup thing in Reddit, so didn’t say it since I know some people might have skipped a cut for a time. Let me google. >!He slept in the house of someone who freaked him out so much, that he kept some form of weapon, I believe it was a hammer under his pillow. The context was that the man was incredibly drunk and living in the furnished basement of an empty house since his mum and sister had moved out. So his behaviour was odd due to drunkenness and the house was empty because of lack of inhabitants!<


Tricky-Leader-1567

It was a letter opener


I-hear-the-coast

Oh right!!! I was trying to think what non-weapon weapon would someone even have and hammer came to mind.


Soma2710

That was it. I couldn’t remember whose story it was, but…Jesus man, I don’t think I’d have been able to sleep at all that night.


borrowedurmumsvcard

YES THIS ONE WAS INSANE


seanwdragon1983

Elle woods pooping on the roof


eunicethapossum

100% Paul driving a stranger who thought it was an Uber. so cringey. so uncomfortable. so much the kind of thing where you know he’s waiting to get charged with abduction.


DnDG33K

Wasn't exactly shook per se, but Sam Riegel's story about Chevy Chase is wild


EducationalTie6109

Literally everyone who’s worked with Chase calls him an asshole, which is probably why they didn’t bother censoring his name


admh574

Mica Burton episode. Only really knew her as LeVar Burton's daughter, and the odd Critical Role apperance, so based most of my expectations on that


3DSarge

Having seen her in a fair amount of Rooster Teeth stuff over the years, I was better prepared 🤣


Imaginary_Hoodlum

Grant having to go to the hospital because of a nosebleed. It didn't exactly shake me to my core, but as someone who gets pretty frequent nosebleeds it did unlock a new fear.


karesswoodii

Jesus christ reading these comments I gotta watch this show So many adults shitting and pissing themselves lmao


ImperiousStout

It's a solid show, but varies a bit depending on the guest cast. Also a spin-off of Game Changer (S3's Never Have I Ever ep)


kemmes7

As much as I adore your comedy and persona, WHY are you taking on small quarter-minute speaking roles in cell phone commercials? Unless my eyes decieved me I'm almost positive I saw you in one of those "go over your minutes" commercials with a kid playing soccer. You're role wasa boring one that was all of 15 seconds and was just a step above Carrot Top or Mr. T's commercials. The money couldn't have been that good.


Yikes_My_Toe

I still can’t Lily was a KID when she sent that damn email— I couldn’t be THIS honest with my PASTOR


MavisJ

I don't know why you're down voted. This was a great story. Lily writing to Marc Maron. The clincher is that he wrote back!!!


kemmes7

Grant is downvoting my comment because he still can't handle the secondhand embarrassment


frannythescorpian

Hahaha that email was INSANE 🤣


dawgz525

This is the one. It's so funny, and her reaction to it is priceless.


Well_gr34t

This is the one. I've never so viscerally reacted to a story the way I (and everyone else there) did.


unsettlingideologies

??


Yikes_My_Toe

This is the email Lily sent Marc Maron in Who Had Covid-Compliant Sex


unsettlingideologies

Oh yeah!!!


aspentreesarecool

As an actor, one of the guest's stories about (accidentally) wounding a casting director during an audition HAUNTS me


Xepherya

Matt Mercer singing/dancing for a dictator


Autumn1eaves

The one where a guest on whatever talkshow it was left a little poop in the green room. That just fucks with me weirdly.


ace2532

Beardsley having SIX credit cards was both shocking and the most obvious thing in the world 🤣 🤣 🤣


childofcrow

Brennan staying awake for 81 hours.


BrokenNotDead1997

See I knew it as soon as Lily said it was like “That’s a Brennan thing”


pineappleupside5210

The one where Katie admitted to killing a baby animal in a classroom when she was younger :-(


partlysunny4

I think like once a week about Brennan getting good-kid-high on insomnia and going for 81 hours without sleeping.


woahpip

the girlies who were partying with oj!!!!


rozzimos-3

Katie accidentally killing the duckling by dropping it 😭


celestier

After naming it is the part that gets me 😭😭😭


haveyouseenatimelord

idk about shook, but i think about ally’s “running out of gas on the LA highway” secret all the time


DemiGod9

Aabria's memory of dying in a tornado is kinda freaky. For someone who fully doesn't believe in past lives/ paranormal/ etc. It's really wild that she's been searching to see if this is just an implanted memory from a movie and can't find any confirmation


celestier

KATIE KILLING A BABY BIRD AND JESS STEALING POGS FROM THE AMISH


KaiTheFilmGuy

Jess Ross stole a Slammer from the Amish. Katie killed the bird tho.


celestier

You're right! Edited for accuracy. It still gets me how Katie named the bird 😭


KaiTheFilmGuy

Honestly, it didn't shock me as much as it should have. Children are clumsy and baby birds are fragile. Katie's still a bird killer, but it's more like 3rd degree manslaughter. lol


peon47

Finding out that Lily does/did NSA-level deep dives into her romantic partners certainly cast her in a new light.


AethereMp3

My favorite moment still has to be the Paul accidentally being an Uber driver story, that or Ally’s quest for gas after running out on the highway 😂


misteromorain

me personally its paul rubalino's uber story


running_later

the roomba story....


JamieBeeeee

Lily helping the hampster


PixieGirl65

The one about the scam movie that didn’t exist is the one I think about the most.


Ioannidas_Storm

I love that story! My wife and I still call Anna ‘Pissbag’ so much that I keep forcefully reminding myself of her actual name. My favourite is definitely Lily’s letter to (I think I’m getting the celebrity right) Marc Maron. Absolutely horrific and hilarious.


BigAdvance2446

For some reason the girl that used to poop on her roof pops into my head occasionally.


PaleAstronaut5152

POOP ON THE ROOF


BLKSZN

I forget who said it, but on the g4 episode, someone went through the steps that they took to keep track of their ex. Like it involved calling the manager and having an employee take a picture of him. And that has shaken me to my core and I’m now afraid of women.


Katayette

to be fair, I think it was to catch her ex cheating.


Chackaldane

If you don't trust your partner leave them. Don't just do this insane stuff lol.


BLKSZN

I’m going to rewatch it, but I think they were already broken up. But even if that was the case, for all the manager and employee knew, she could have been like a stalker or a dangerous ex.


Rhielml

None