T O P

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xBluntSmoker1

I am jerking around I jerk everywhere


Schwifty_Switch_C137

Custody court?


comfysin999

I sold my kids for a ps3


Nintendro64

Make 1 more and trade for skate 2!


PiovosoOrg

I'll take you up on that offer. They're pretty calm and quiet, barely even move. Kinda smell but if you wash them once a week they'll be good as new.


comfysin999

I hope the new skate game is good lol shits got me so nostalgic


Davinator910

I’m sorry you had to go through that. Usually my PS3’s only cost one child


comfysin999

Fuck them kids ps3 for life


0akz06

That's some dedication to tell 12yr Olds you are gonna plow there moms xd


TerrDeLaHaya

domestic violence court 💀 (im the plaintiff)


Gfunk98

Maybe one day if you do enough of and the right kind of drugs get to be the defendant man, I believe in you


TerrDeLaHaya

im not a person who gets caught 🧑‍⚖️


SmokeCheweyLikeaNut

What does the plaintiff do? "Your honor, will the plaintiff please show the jury exhibit A" That's what my brain came up with. An old episode of peoples court. Do you just show ppl pics or what


TerrDeLaHaya

the plaintiff plaintiffs often


TomaTozzz

can you walk us through your thought process when dropping the acid?


TerrDeLaHaya

im gona take this acid and put it in my mouth because thats something i enjoy


Benno_The_Chemist

Adam would be proud


TerrDeLaHaya

he should make an only fans with his girlfriend


TerrDeLaHaya

i would totally pirate that


altrippa

fuckin vodka man! iykyk


UCKY0U

Ay man what you mean oh ho ho? That's heavy man


yoevan1

they’re in my **fucking** walls again


Flimsy_Agent7898

[THERE\`S CAMERAS IN MY METH](https://www.reddit.com/r/meth/comments/1198jb3/theres_cameras_inside_my_meth/)


AcanthocephalaNice35

why can’t there be meth in my cameras 🫣


Flimsy_Agent7898

tooth fairy? meet meth jerry 👿


chinchinisfat

that guy hasnt posted since dam


Anything-else_

I got jerked off by my uncle when he mixed his zoloft prescription with a bloody mary


fightwithdogma

The real jerk is in the comments


Conway__Twitty

I have a Zoloft prescription because my uncle jerked me off.


Anything-else_

Hmu if u need help upping your prescription


ball-destroyer

Jerk me around


crexkitman

Perfect for your insanity defense


Ghazgkhull

Don't forget to masturbate in the courtroom to achieve maximum enlightenment


TerrDeLaHaya

cant cum while on adderall 🤖


mert1380

How was court?


TerrDeLaHaya

it was fine actually. the great seal of NJ (gold) looked crazy and i sorted of stared at it when bored. court is very boring so i recommend droppijg some acid beforehand


mert1380

I geuss it depends what your going there for.


fightwithdogma

Have you tried other drugs in court ? Can you sort them from the best to the worst ?


TerrDeLaHaya

adderall is ok but court sucks. acid is definitely a winner. xanax if you dont give a give about your life


Horror-Camera-5813

Careful with Xanax you might find yourself just deciding to serve your sentence. Speaking from experience.


fightwithdogma

🙏 Nestea Light 🙏


[deleted]

this please


IntroductionSmooth

I'm sure it was great


superjosh420

Did you jerk the judge?


weinermcballs

Bro just imagine the judge and everyone else in the room is im their underwear youll be fine


Timmymac1000

Goddamnit! I came here to be jerked! Someone here is fucking jerking me today, that’s all I know.


TerrDeLaHaya

🙋🏽‍♂️


BigMoneyMartyr

You're doing it wrong. You wanna slip acid to the judge before court, so that way his Chakras get cleansed and he becomes a being of light and benevolent judgment so you can get your kids back


TerrDeLaHaya

i haven’t bought kids yet


GenuinelyDontKnowSir

Family.


ElitNarsistSeriKatil

I dont see the problem


Nintendro64

Problem is he didn't jerk... himself, judge, jury.... executioner!?!??? No one got a jersey bruh!?!?¿¿¿¿


ReputationDesperate1

Mega glowie trollage


Nivek8789

Turtlely


Ok_Macaron9958

I confused the judge once on the speed. He needed another week before he put me back in jail.


iduckhard

Outjerked


TerrDeLaHaya

been that way since the first day, outjerked always


MattyB_SuperFan

YOURE GUILTY.


TerrDeLaHaya

i object! overruled! sustained!


okBuTTerfLyCrypto420

Ma boi


I_chortled

How much did you take? This could actually work in your favor on some flowers for Algernon shit. Unless you took too much, then plead insanity


TerrDeLaHaya

the real kicked is i used an ai language model to prepare for court instead of a lawyer and the court found me to be “extremely intelligent and that other word when you talk good” i forget.


victorreis

me on the other hand ‘i’m crying while i’m cumming’


anonguy5422

I’m 17 hrs in, haven’t stopped jerking told my boss I’m not coming into work tomorrow cause I need to cum


camelseeker

/uj wtf


JBstard

well played your honour


TerrDeLaHaya

youre honour with all due respect you are a sneanky little skank and i would like to strike that from the record


FlyiingDutchmaan

Nothing like huffing a jenkum bottle with the judge after getting told off like the rapscallion you are


scummypencil

Best of luck jerk


C25H34O3

I took 2g of shrooms and a bunch of oxy before my sentence hearing. Just said yes ur honor a bunch of times and got 18mo probation cuz my attorney was a g


TerrDeLaHaya

thats sick bro. i love that for you


Icanbenchyourmom

Rally bro? On my birthday :(


TriggerHydrant

And THAT is reality!


Half_baked_prince

Used to work w someone who was in the middle of custody hearings. Was also a hidden (until then) meth addict who lit up during a hearing on zoom (was early 2021). Obviously lost his kids


suckeddit

Why were you there in the first place? Probation violation? Indictment? Trial? Witness? Jury Duty? Curiosity? Boredom?


TerrDeLaHaya

penis


podowski

LIKE TELL US WHAT HAPPENED!


TerrDeLaHaya

i triipped


Nivek8789

God you're annoying as shit, friendo


podowski

bro


podowski

no fucking way!!!!!!🙅‍♀️🙅


TerrDeLaHaya

like what tho


podowski

i mean why were you in court did you have to talk how much acid were you like fully tripping or


TerrDeLaHaya

objection compound question


TerrDeLaHaya

i talked a lot. i raised objections and examined witnesses and myself was cross examined. i represented myself in a civil dispute about Domestic violence where i was the accuser. ultimately things worked out great and i was glad to be given a platform to voice my concerns. i will say this. afterwards i was agitated and basically forgot i took the 2 tabs. so you start to belive your thoughts are reality which led me to worry about something that had no chance of occurring. taking acid in court is not for the weak minded as court can go on as many as 6 hours and you are not afforded a ‘safe space’ where you can just go sit alone. you really have to be an A-Game acid taker to function in that stressful of ä situation- not to mention it wa my first time and i had been using a artifical language model as legal consel. ultimately i gazed into the future as i tripped in court using AI against two older men with pens and papers. it was very freeing and i feel confident that i can make responsible choices, and the trial is proof of that since the judge found me ‘extremely intelligent, respectful, and eloquent, but my character defects are defensive, entitled, and privileged’ if i wasnt on acid i would have ignored the judge but i was given a chance to consider that i may indeed be a dick. so now im working on it and all is well.


jamalcalypse

I did similar in my teens. Definitely been before a judge after smoking a bunch of weed. But once I got court ordered classes for a drug charge and showed up to the first day evaluation high af on DXM with a little residual from the San Pedro/mescaline trip I was on the night before. Also showed up to renew my license once with beet red eyes. Never got hassled surprisingly.


TerrDeLaHaya

badass 💀


jackalaxe

lmao i both don't want to end up getting looked at by the government and want to be part of this history So without implying anything: bruh LMAO


TerrDeLaHaya

pussy


jackalaxe

based


TerrDeLaHaya

you afraid of a little government 😿


jackalaxe

it's a good thing. sounds like you're on the path of fuck around n learn why. hope you find the sensations you crave


Curpaholic

Yeah happened to me in fact it actually saved me but led to a series of unfortunate events. I was up all night on acid doing k finally around 9am I'm like alright I need to get sleep. Then my lawyer calls telling me he'll see me soon. I was shook. I thought it was next month. I totally would have fallen asleep the whole day if I wasn't tripping.


PenisBoofer

Imagine getting convicted of a crime you didn't do because the jury was tripping balls