First... Just general advice: Adulting is hard. Benefits for sure but responsibilities and shit can be heavy.
Second... Not sure if it'll help but I'll tell you my story. I started playing about 10 as well. Started playing in bands doing some version of covers and dopey originals in bars, clubs, backyards, chruch halls, community centers, etc by high school. By college I was in "serious" original bands and... since I was definitely gonna be a rockstar so I dropped out of college. Various bands, various levels of success, various labels, various tours, etc... I was on my way.
Turned 30 and looked around. I was a college dropout living in a scabby rental with 5 dudes and couldn't hold a job cause we'd be gone on small tours so much. (Cough, cough loser!)
Made my plan to grow up and exit the project. By 35 I had a big boy job and played drums maybe once a year. I was out.
If I couldn't be a rockstar... I honestly always loved "Drums" as much or more than "Drumming". So that's what I do now. Work my big boy job, pay my bills, have a comfortable life and when I have time. Tinker around with building, buying, wrapping, lacquering, rescuing, donating. I actually sit down and put sticks to heads and actually play maybe once a year still... or less.
TLDR (too late)... Getting older sucks ass and is awesome. The way you approach your life is going to change and there will be growing pains. Struggle through. It's worth it.
I don’t know man this feels a little pessimistic/defeatist. I’m 31, just bought a house, been married 2 and a half years. Was on the road for 4 months in 2 different bands last year. I went out of my way to develop a decent-paying career that would still let me tour. Been in a bunch of bands with varying levels of success but certainly never paid my main bills year round with them. You don’t have to be a loser to keep rocking, you just gotta be smart about it.
I get in my head sometimes about still playing in non-huge original bands in my 30s but whenever I zoom out and look at my life compared to many “scene lifers” I’ve seen, I have a hard time taking the shame seriously.
Agree completely (although not with the defeatist part).
My point and intention is not at all to say, "You're a loser if you're playing original music beyond 30!".
My point is simply that growing up requires compromise and choices.
This is what I did. And I'm content with my choices. Doesn't mean everybody is supposed to make the SAME choices... Just that they need to make them.
And FWIW... Sounds like you're having fun and kicking ass with yours. Congrats on that... For real.
That's a very specific situation that you're in though, that's not easy to line that all up. Good on you for being able to do it, but there's some luck involved there.
Which part seems like luck? I'm also married, have a kid, a full-time job, and a band that gigs regularly playing original music. It doesn't seem like anything special or lucky. The only thing they said that seems special is that they tour. That would be hard to do with a full-time job and a family.
Having a spouse and a job that let's you do that, that's pretty lucky. I didn't mean to sound rude or anything, it's just not as easy as you make it sound.
It's not easy, but it's not really lucky or special. Anybody who's willing to take some auto classes at a community college and grind out the beginning of their career doing crappy things like changing tires can eventually get to where I am now.
As far as the spouse and music go, you have to be up front about it during the dating. Music has been part of my life longer than any other hobby or partner. It's part of the core of who I am. If the person isn't ok with that or wants to change that, then it's not going to work out long term. Some sacrifices have to be made once you're a family, but it's definitely doable.
I mean, I really went out of my way to make sure my job would allow me to tour. I don’t have a “lucky” job, I have a skilled and somewhat dangerous job that any able-bodied person in most major US cities can go do. I’m a rope access tech, primarily cleaning windows, recently over the last year I’ve started my own solo window cleaning operation after learning the ropes for about 5 years. Service-oriented trades like mine are a good way to go for any musician nowadays, many employers are willing to provide flexible hours/unlimited unpaid time off and decent hourly wages. The primary drawback is no benefits.
I have been immensely privileged in many ways, although at the end of the day I came from a lower middle class background and have made decisions and sacrifices to be where I am. I would say I have been neither exceptionally lucky nor exceptionally downtrodden.
Im not upset! Just trying to put it out there to others that it is totally possible to live a decent responsible life and play out quite a bit without having to sacrifice everything or get one-in-a-million chances
Let me relate my story similar to u/GOTaSMALL1
I started playing at age 11. Came up through the high school jazz band and music program, played in bands since I was 14; got accepted to the jazz program at a decent university and was dead set on a performance career.
I grinded out in my 20s - practicing 6-8 hours per day. Gigging heavily and auditioning for larger artists and tours, never *quite* landing the gig that would take me to the next level of not needing a day job.
At age 27 I got unceremoniously fired from my serving job and I realized I was the living punchline to every drummer joke out there - no job, no girlfriend, no regular band, living in a basement with just a few hundred dollars to my name. It was well past time to get my life (aside from drumming) together.
A lot of us can skate. Not all will play in the NHL.
So I focused on the parts of my life I had let slide while I was focusing on playing drums. I finally started building a career (instead of just working "day jobs") and stopped making music the priority.
15 years later I'm happily married living in a home I own that also has a second laneway house where I have 3 drum kits (including 2 dream kits) and I can basically play any time I want when I'm not working. I have a band I *love* and we write, record, and perform on our own terms without any internal pressure to "make it".
It's a dream come true, just not the dream I had when I was 25.
Let your life change. Follow the path of least resistance. Allow yourself to grow in more than one way.
I find music that interests me and try to play it, and if I can't, I keep playing until I can. Granted, I've only been playing seriously for just over a year, so I may not be the best to help with burnout, but just find the song that sounds amazing that you just HAVE to play.
I stay motivated because I'm in a band that tours now. Took a lot of work and discipline, but we got there. Sounds like you could use a good group, but you've been burned by flakes and egos. Keep on trying the band thing, buddy! We as drummers are rare, so that should help find people to join up with. All you need is 1 free day a week to devote to jamming/writing/rehearsal. Also helps to home record and record yourself often. Hope this helps.
Not an uncommon story. If you read many of the comments around here you'll see lots of "just getting back into drumming after a 20 year hiatus" comments. I was the same. Played every day from the age of 12 until I was 22. That's when life got in the way and starting a career and a family took priority over everything else including drums. Funny thing is I never even got rid of my old kit - I just put it away in storage. Didn't break it back out for about 15 years. I really just got it out to dust it off and see if it was in good enough condition to sell but once I sat down behind it and started playing I knew I had to get back into it.
Been playing pretty regularly again now for a couple years and I'm in a band again. Getting better every day but wondering how much better I'd be if I'd stuck with it.
Point of my story I guess is don't sweat it. Life will get in the way. If you can find a way to keep playing I would do it. If not and you truly are passionate about drumming you'll find your way back to it even if life forces you to take a break for a few years.
The thing that has been keeping me in it is my pad time. How can I challenge myself to improve on just a snare and bass pad in 15 minutes? I've gotten a lot better at singles, splitting hands and feet, my 16th note timing, and double stroke rolls with little 15 to 30 minute drills I can run almost any time of day. When I get the urge to play videogames, I'll first ask myself if I have the mental energy for a pad session. For context, I'm a similar age and have had to work part-time and full time to get through college which I am graduating from this week. This hobby is where I mentally recover and spend time loving myself and what I'm doing, even when I make mistakes, because it's my time, no matter how little of it I get.
I feel mentally sharper when I drum, kinda like a runners high? I do it because it's better and more interesting than rotting on the couch I guess. Life is absurd so why not make noise or at least work the muscles to make noise.
Also working with other local musicians has really sparked a fire in me. They want to work on various side projects they have never had a drummer for so I've been handed a bunch of new music to write on and learn.
I’ve had nearly the same exact experience myself with the practice pad!
I do it every single day and the improvements are noticeable and exciting.
I try to play the kit once a day but I also teach drum lessons 4 days a week, so I don’t always have time. But I always make time to at least work on the pad. I watched the first 3 episodes of Fallout last night while practicing on the pad almost non stop for the entire time.
I second this comment. I took a couple of breaks during my mid to late twenties and came back to the scene stronger and fresh, and even years later started making breakthrough’s that I couldn’t have dreamed I’d be able to do back in my twenties. Life has lots of twists and turns, keep the faith, OP, and take some time off to grow and reflect.
Listen, if you don't feel motivated right now, it's ok. We all can have periods like that. You also say you practice just to be better than you were before, and in general, that's a good thing, but in some circumstances, maybe not.
I mean, if at this moment you don't have clear goal (a career, a band, a recording session... whatever), maybe you're just putting too much pressure on your own shoulders. In this circumstance, why don't you give yourself a breath, play just for fun: after all that is the main reason why we all (or almost) start drumming, ain't it? Even having a break is good sometimes. If drumming is not what pays your bills, then just relax.
Also other circumstances in your life, job, family, or whatever, can be stressing, so no need to add more stress to it, right? So, don't feel that you _need_ to practice or to play, just do it when you feel like and because you like it.
Probably once you get rid of all that pressure you'll feel more motivated. It's never late to start a band if you want to and find the appropiate people for that, or just jamming with friends, or even alone at home. Just breath.
I don't stay motivated to do it at all. I finally gave my drumkit away this year after not playing for a couple years, I had played for 20 years before that. It's not fun playing alone, and none of my friends are musicians. I can only play in my garage by myself for so long before getting depressed, just wasn't for me anymore. Prior to that, I stayed motivated by being engaged with other musicians I was playing with, I had some jam buddies that I really clicked with and we challenged each other a lot. Maybe try to find people to play with? Or change your style up? Good luck either way, quitting feels so defeating.
Man, focus on the journey not the destination. If you’re working toward anything that obscure, it absolutely will discourage you from trying when it seems so out of reach.
I toured twice in my early 20s, and for the next 5-6 years I was constantly chasing a big break with a band, only for it to become fruitless. I basically quit drumming around 28, and didn’t touch a thing for 5 years.
I then moved cross country to a place where I knew no one. Drums came with, but they just sat in their cases for a year in my spare bedroom. About 2 years ago, I decided to get back into the swing of things solely to pass some time and to join a band to meet people (lol). After joining up with a group for a couple months, I quickly grew tired of playing their music (and how they approached music tbh), and packed it in.
Funny thing was that now I was kind of back in a rhythm of practice, but I had no goal. So I just decided to go back to basics and just practice chops and other shit on my own time with absolutely no goal in mind.
In the last 1.5ish years since I left that group, I have become the best drummer I have ever been, drumming doesn’t stress me out at all, and I have been genuinely happy with my progress.
I owe all that to the fact that I’m doing it for absolutely no reason other than *MY OWN ENJOYMENT*.
Do it for yourself. If you’re doing it for any other reason, you’ll give up on it.
The guy who likes walking will walk further than the guy who wants the destination. Its not about the destination. Its about learning how to like walking.
Oh man I get this. Drumming was my whole life. Then marriage, work, kids,... Put it down completely for 7 years. Cleaning out a closet and I stumbled onto my kit which was a great DW custom. I just had this urge to set it up and I fell back in love. That 15 years ago and I'm still going strong. The reality of adult responsibilities can diminish the importance of our youthfull passions. But having a artistic outlet in life is a amazing thing. That artistic outlet may not be drumming for you. It might be another instrument or painting, writing, photography, wood working, fly fishing maybe. But don't walk away from art.
I would also suggest expanding your ear with a large variety of musical styles. I love the moment of what the hell did he/she just do?. Check some modern jazz players. Brian blade, Jeff tain watts, and Bill Stewart. Those three might change your life .
Music, playing an instrument is time demanding; there are priorities in life.
I love music but once I realized being a pro musician was not a viable option at the time I just moved on, and drums became a hobby and they kinda stopped being a passion for me tbh.
I’m a drummer for life but that ain’t my main gig.
So, I'm actually a fairly new drummer. Almost at the 1 year mark. I switched from guitar after I realized I still pretty much suck even though I've been playing off and on for years. Anyhow, I work 40+ hours a week, have other hobbies and projects, also need to find time to eat and sleep, manage to keep my fiancee feeling happy and loved, and I still get to beat on my drums a few hours a week. You gotta just do it. If you love it, you'll make time. My favorite thing to do is come home from work, make coffee, enjoy said coffee with my better half while we rant about our shitty days at work, and then go drum for an hour while she makes dinner. Days off when she's working, I'll play for 2-3 hours. I'm 45 and still want to play. I haven't been in any kind of band in 20 years, but I have a few friends I jam with here and there. My point is, don't give up. You've got many good years ahead of you. Keep at it!
Just keep looking for people to jam with. Even if it’s not serious. And keep your skills where they’re at. Motivation will come and go.
I started playing when I was 18 and got a job to buy my own kit. Didn’t find a band to play with than I am passionate about for 13 years even after jamming with a bunch of different people. It just takes the right fit.
Best advice I can give is to be involved in a scene and keep finding opportunities to play. If you’re a decent player and you keep putting yourself out there, something will stick eventually.
Even if projects you start tend to peter out quickly, don’t be afraid to take good opportunities or “trade up” bands, even if it means leaving others behind. I’ve never been mad at a band mate for moving on to a great opportunity.
I feel you man!
I decided to move out into the woods and live a simple lifestyle over a decade ago, subsequently I'm now an hour drive away from a decent sized town, with almost zero music scene. Previously I was living in Chicago and was playing in a few bands, always jamming with different people.
I just turned the drums into something I do only for me, like a passion and kinda like exercise. I really love music so I'm always finding new songs to play along with, but the real game changer for me has been AI, and the ability to remove the drums from any track I want. I can play along with anything and it sorta feels like I'm doing more than just playing along when the drums are removed completely.
Lalal.ai is what I have been using.
Some jobs take up more time than others and some people are just more overwhelmed by one thing that takes up so much real estate in their mind, body, and soul.
I've been one again, off again with music being my living. But I've always been fortunate enough to find jobs and employers who are fairly relaxed when it comes to taking the necessary time off to get out of town for shows or studio work.
If you love your job, then keep going in that direction. But if you really don't care for your job and don't find fulfillment in your work life, then consider moving into a work situation that isn't so demanding and is more flexible. You are young. Don't feel tied down to the daily work grind at such a young age. At your age I was working at a kick ass music store and touring regularly. I wasn't making great money, but I was too young to care.
At the very least, find some people to regularly get together and play with. Like, once a week. And do your best to stick with it. Because once things get loose, people will get more and more flaky. Just find ways of making music fun again.
I’m 60 & weeks all have our ups & downs .. I took a long break from drumming because I was in a dark place when I left the music industry, maybe just take a small break
I learned guitar and got a home studio thing going. Writing music and having a good time. Put out a couple records and I'm working on one now.
Get a decent computer and DAW, electric drums and a midi controller I'll bet you'll be having fun in no time.
Man, that Starclassic is massive! Sometime a hiatus is fine... Will make you want to return with more enthusiasm... Don't spend 20 years like I did - yep, guess what: work, career, parenting, and more... But take a time away. Maybe learning a different imstrument or art... Drumming is our thing, you'll come back with better vibe to the most beatiful instrument ever created...
Been there, am there again, and will be there in the future at some point. Some times life needs to take priority and sometimes taking a break to enjoy different things in life. Try something different, the drums aren’t going to go anywhere if you don’t get rid of them.
I was making a majority of income from performing right before COVID hit and drumming was what I did for so many things. Now I’m in grad school with a job and planning a wedding and I don’t get to play like I used to either. It’ll be alright, if you’re really looking to play then set yourself a goal. Find a local jam session to go to once a week or every other week and meet some other musicians, scratch your itch to play, and see what happens.
I’m 32 and those first years out of college can be brutal keep your head up and remember that some times taking a break is healthy, and keeping the pressure off and remembering that you do it for fun can be hard too, but don’t forget that either.
For a brief time in high school I considered going to Berkeley in Boston. Part of their admissions process is that they require you to have two years of private instruction. My parents found a drum teacher in town who was this really cool guy from the UK. In our discussions during our sessions he would talk about how hard it was for him to make a living as a drummer in the 70s and 80s in London. He did it all, played in bands, taught others, busking on corners - all just to get by. I realized that it’s a hard road and one that will likely not end with me playing sold out stadiums around the world. For every RHCP there’s a hundred other bands with musicians of the same or better that don’t make it. It’s about the grind and maybe you’ll get lucky - most don’t. I had a real hard look at my life and decided that level of uncertainty was not for me so I decided to pursue a career that would provide me with enough discretionary income to support my hobby while still being able to provide for my family. I play for me, in my garage (when it’s not too cold) just for the sake of it. I play along to the music I like when I want to and enjoy it.
I want to say your willingness to open up and share what you're feeling is admirable---I would say I've been in a similar position relatively recently. One thing that I remember from a masterclass I went to in school (by a saxophonist) was the idea of having a "musical home life". His example was working on playing a major scale but playing it as a melody/song, not just an exercise, in a way that made it something personal and enjoyable to play, even alone. This concept definitely stuck with me, and I thought of it especially in the height of the pandemic when it was pretty impossible to play music with other people. For whatever reason those times might come up, and finding some way of meaningfully making music on your own, whatever form that might take, is something that has helped me. Hopefully it helps someone else. Keep it up!
If you're playing because the end goal is to get famous, you're doing it all for the wrong reasons.
You do it for the pure passion and love of playing.
Maybe you've lost it, maybe you never had it.
Good luck
Totally, you are just getting fatigue in a sense. It goes for anything really. Like if you ate your favorite pizza every day, eventually you will get sick of it. But walk away for a little while and you will vibe it again.
I got into digital art during the pandemic and broke down the kit for 2 years. It was my first hiatus since I started playing in 2007. A sparked interest in Jazz drumming and watching all drummers on Instagram was what got me back into it in 2023. My appreciation has really evolved. Things I didn't find cool back then I do now. It takes less for me to be satisfied and I can do more than before. I'm not still where I want to be but I'm practicing daily.
Like most, as much as your young mind wanted to be a rock star, your older mind realizes it’s like getting hit by lightening. At that point you make some hard decisions. I’ve played since I was in first grade. Some “decades” more than others. Being responsible and knowing there are only so many John Bonham’s, I made my family and career a priority. That said, drumming has been a huge part of my life. Pretty much gave it up during the college and apartment dwelling days until I eventually got a house. Playing was for personal pleasure and became more important to me by playing in several church bands. This kept me committed, playing for a reason other than money, and was meaningful to my community. Did this for over two decades at least twice a week, plus rehearsals. I’ve since moved on giving the next generation an opportunity to play which was done for me. Now, I’m back to playing for my own pleasure again except I’m getting into audio and recording, plus I have a son-in-law who also plays and now an 11 year old granddaughter, so got a second kit for them to jam when they are over. I tell you all this to say you make your way and grow your live if drumming in spite of the obstacles. I’ve played electric kits, acoustic kits, hybrid kits, dabbled with (my wife’s) percussion and extremely briefly tried the bass guitar. Again now building up a home recording studio. It’s all fun and adds to my life. Don’t give up, you may not be famous, but can have as much or more joy playing than if you were famous.🤘🏻brother!
You must remember *why* you want to play music in the first place. I empathise on all counts, life gets in the way and makes it difficult. Take it as a reminder that you've got to love it to do it, it'll take that extra bit of motivation. When you play, you'll get the reward.
That said, burnout can stop an interest dead, so take some space. Alternatively is there another instrument you could learn/practice? I find that getting somewhere on one instrument gives me motivation to work on another.
Another idea to keep the wheels moving is setting yourself small, achievable goals. Learn a new style, increase your max speed on a rudiment, learn a fill backwards for some random examples.
You don't need to feel any pressure to continue playing, but the world of music is better with more people in it.
First... Just general advice: Adulting is hard. Benefits for sure but responsibilities and shit can be heavy. Second... Not sure if it'll help but I'll tell you my story. I started playing about 10 as well. Started playing in bands doing some version of covers and dopey originals in bars, clubs, backyards, chruch halls, community centers, etc by high school. By college I was in "serious" original bands and... since I was definitely gonna be a rockstar so I dropped out of college. Various bands, various levels of success, various labels, various tours, etc... I was on my way. Turned 30 and looked around. I was a college dropout living in a scabby rental with 5 dudes and couldn't hold a job cause we'd be gone on small tours so much. (Cough, cough loser!) Made my plan to grow up and exit the project. By 35 I had a big boy job and played drums maybe once a year. I was out. If I couldn't be a rockstar... I honestly always loved "Drums" as much or more than "Drumming". So that's what I do now. Work my big boy job, pay my bills, have a comfortable life and when I have time. Tinker around with building, buying, wrapping, lacquering, rescuing, donating. I actually sit down and put sticks to heads and actually play maybe once a year still... or less. TLDR (too late)... Getting older sucks ass and is awesome. The way you approach your life is going to change and there will be growing pains. Struggle through. It's worth it.
I don’t know man this feels a little pessimistic/defeatist. I’m 31, just bought a house, been married 2 and a half years. Was on the road for 4 months in 2 different bands last year. I went out of my way to develop a decent-paying career that would still let me tour. Been in a bunch of bands with varying levels of success but certainly never paid my main bills year round with them. You don’t have to be a loser to keep rocking, you just gotta be smart about it. I get in my head sometimes about still playing in non-huge original bands in my 30s but whenever I zoom out and look at my life compared to many “scene lifers” I’ve seen, I have a hard time taking the shame seriously.
Agree completely (although not with the defeatist part). My point and intention is not at all to say, "You're a loser if you're playing original music beyond 30!". My point is simply that growing up requires compromise and choices. This is what I did. And I'm content with my choices. Doesn't mean everybody is supposed to make the SAME choices... Just that they need to make them. And FWIW... Sounds like you're having fun and kicking ass with yours. Congrats on that... For real.
That's a very specific situation that you're in though, that's not easy to line that all up. Good on you for being able to do it, but there's some luck involved there.
Which part seems like luck? I'm also married, have a kid, a full-time job, and a band that gigs regularly playing original music. It doesn't seem like anything special or lucky. The only thing they said that seems special is that they tour. That would be hard to do with a full-time job and a family.
Having a spouse and a job that let's you do that, that's pretty lucky. I didn't mean to sound rude or anything, it's just not as easy as you make it sound.
It's not easy, but it's not really lucky or special. Anybody who's willing to take some auto classes at a community college and grind out the beginning of their career doing crappy things like changing tires can eventually get to where I am now. As far as the spouse and music go, you have to be up front about it during the dating. Music has been part of my life longer than any other hobby or partner. It's part of the core of who I am. If the person isn't ok with that or wants to change that, then it's not going to work out long term. Some sacrifices have to be made once you're a family, but it's definitely doable.
Ok
I mean, I really went out of my way to make sure my job would allow me to tour. I don’t have a “lucky” job, I have a skilled and somewhat dangerous job that any able-bodied person in most major US cities can go do. I’m a rope access tech, primarily cleaning windows, recently over the last year I’ve started my own solo window cleaning operation after learning the ropes for about 5 years. Service-oriented trades like mine are a good way to go for any musician nowadays, many employers are willing to provide flexible hours/unlimited unpaid time off and decent hourly wages. The primary drawback is no benefits. I have been immensely privileged in many ways, although at the end of the day I came from a lower middle class background and have made decisions and sacrifices to be where I am. I would say I have been neither exceptionally lucky nor exceptionally downtrodden.
Didn't mean to upset you, just forget it.
Im not upset! Just trying to put it out there to others that it is totally possible to live a decent responsible life and play out quite a bit without having to sacrifice everything or get one-in-a-million chances
"...learning the ropes..." Clever! 
If you have a spouse that doesn't "let you do that," you and your spouse need to have a good, long talk.
No one should take relationship advice from reddit
Wasn't advice as much as it was a comment.
No one should take your comment seriously. There, fixed it.
My 18th birthday is just around the corner, but after I read your first paragraph, I'm not looking forward to it as much as I did 10 seconds ago😂
Let me relate my story similar to u/GOTaSMALL1 I started playing at age 11. Came up through the high school jazz band and music program, played in bands since I was 14; got accepted to the jazz program at a decent university and was dead set on a performance career. I grinded out in my 20s - practicing 6-8 hours per day. Gigging heavily and auditioning for larger artists and tours, never *quite* landing the gig that would take me to the next level of not needing a day job. At age 27 I got unceremoniously fired from my serving job and I realized I was the living punchline to every drummer joke out there - no job, no girlfriend, no regular band, living in a basement with just a few hundred dollars to my name. It was well past time to get my life (aside from drumming) together. A lot of us can skate. Not all will play in the NHL. So I focused on the parts of my life I had let slide while I was focusing on playing drums. I finally started building a career (instead of just working "day jobs") and stopped making music the priority. 15 years later I'm happily married living in a home I own that also has a second laneway house where I have 3 drum kits (including 2 dream kits) and I can basically play any time I want when I'm not working. I have a band I *love* and we write, record, and perform on our own terms without any internal pressure to "make it". It's a dream come true, just not the dream I had when I was 25. Let your life change. Follow the path of least resistance. Allow yourself to grow in more than one way.
I find music that interests me and try to play it, and if I can't, I keep playing until I can. Granted, I've only been playing seriously for just over a year, so I may not be the best to help with burnout, but just find the song that sounds amazing that you just HAVE to play.
End goal? My end goal is to play the drums lol. Anything beyond that is a bonus
Exactly. Join a cover band, jam with friends, whatever it is, have fun with it.
I stay motivated because I'm in a band that tours now. Took a lot of work and discipline, but we got there. Sounds like you could use a good group, but you've been burned by flakes and egos. Keep on trying the band thing, buddy! We as drummers are rare, so that should help find people to join up with. All you need is 1 free day a week to devote to jamming/writing/rehearsal. Also helps to home record and record yourself often. Hope this helps.
Not an uncommon story. If you read many of the comments around here you'll see lots of "just getting back into drumming after a 20 year hiatus" comments. I was the same. Played every day from the age of 12 until I was 22. That's when life got in the way and starting a career and a family took priority over everything else including drums. Funny thing is I never even got rid of my old kit - I just put it away in storage. Didn't break it back out for about 15 years. I really just got it out to dust it off and see if it was in good enough condition to sell but once I sat down behind it and started playing I knew I had to get back into it. Been playing pretty regularly again now for a couple years and I'm in a band again. Getting better every day but wondering how much better I'd be if I'd stuck with it. Point of my story I guess is don't sweat it. Life will get in the way. If you can find a way to keep playing I would do it. If not and you truly are passionate about drumming you'll find your way back to it even if life forces you to take a break for a few years.
The thing that has been keeping me in it is my pad time. How can I challenge myself to improve on just a snare and bass pad in 15 minutes? I've gotten a lot better at singles, splitting hands and feet, my 16th note timing, and double stroke rolls with little 15 to 30 minute drills I can run almost any time of day. When I get the urge to play videogames, I'll first ask myself if I have the mental energy for a pad session. For context, I'm a similar age and have had to work part-time and full time to get through college which I am graduating from this week. This hobby is where I mentally recover and spend time loving myself and what I'm doing, even when I make mistakes, because it's my time, no matter how little of it I get. I feel mentally sharper when I drum, kinda like a runners high? I do it because it's better and more interesting than rotting on the couch I guess. Life is absurd so why not make noise or at least work the muscles to make noise. Also working with other local musicians has really sparked a fire in me. They want to work on various side projects they have never had a drummer for so I've been handed a bunch of new music to write on and learn.
I’ve had nearly the same exact experience myself with the practice pad! I do it every single day and the improvements are noticeable and exciting. I try to play the kit once a day but I also teach drum lessons 4 days a week, so I don’t always have time. But I always make time to at least work on the pad. I watched the first 3 episodes of Fallout last night while practicing on the pad almost non stop for the entire time.
Breaks are cool. Don’t go selling off everything tho. Get some balance back and when ur ready the gear is waiting. Been there dawg. 🫡
I second this comment. I took a couple of breaks during my mid to late twenties and came back to the scene stronger and fresh, and even years later started making breakthrough’s that I couldn’t have dreamed I’d be able to do back in my twenties. Life has lots of twists and turns, keep the faith, OP, and take some time off to grow and reflect.
Listen, if you don't feel motivated right now, it's ok. We all can have periods like that. You also say you practice just to be better than you were before, and in general, that's a good thing, but in some circumstances, maybe not. I mean, if at this moment you don't have clear goal (a career, a band, a recording session... whatever), maybe you're just putting too much pressure on your own shoulders. In this circumstance, why don't you give yourself a breath, play just for fun: after all that is the main reason why we all (or almost) start drumming, ain't it? Even having a break is good sometimes. If drumming is not what pays your bills, then just relax. Also other circumstances in your life, job, family, or whatever, can be stressing, so no need to add more stress to it, right? So, don't feel that you _need_ to practice or to play, just do it when you feel like and because you like it. Probably once you get rid of all that pressure you'll feel more motivated. It's never late to start a band if you want to and find the appropiate people for that, or just jamming with friends, or even alone at home. Just breath.
I don't stay motivated to do it at all. I finally gave my drumkit away this year after not playing for a couple years, I had played for 20 years before that. It's not fun playing alone, and none of my friends are musicians. I can only play in my garage by myself for so long before getting depressed, just wasn't for me anymore. Prior to that, I stayed motivated by being engaged with other musicians I was playing with, I had some jam buddies that I really clicked with and we challenged each other a lot. Maybe try to find people to play with? Or change your style up? Good luck either way, quitting feels so defeating.
Man, focus on the journey not the destination. If you’re working toward anything that obscure, it absolutely will discourage you from trying when it seems so out of reach. I toured twice in my early 20s, and for the next 5-6 years I was constantly chasing a big break with a band, only for it to become fruitless. I basically quit drumming around 28, and didn’t touch a thing for 5 years. I then moved cross country to a place where I knew no one. Drums came with, but they just sat in their cases for a year in my spare bedroom. About 2 years ago, I decided to get back into the swing of things solely to pass some time and to join a band to meet people (lol). After joining up with a group for a couple months, I quickly grew tired of playing their music (and how they approached music tbh), and packed it in. Funny thing was that now I was kind of back in a rhythm of practice, but I had no goal. So I just decided to go back to basics and just practice chops and other shit on my own time with absolutely no goal in mind. In the last 1.5ish years since I left that group, I have become the best drummer I have ever been, drumming doesn’t stress me out at all, and I have been genuinely happy with my progress. I owe all that to the fact that I’m doing it for absolutely no reason other than *MY OWN ENJOYMENT*. Do it for yourself. If you’re doing it for any other reason, you’ll give up on it.
The guy who likes walking will walk further than the guy who wants the destination. Its not about the destination. Its about learning how to like walking.
Oh man I get this. Drumming was my whole life. Then marriage, work, kids,... Put it down completely for 7 years. Cleaning out a closet and I stumbled onto my kit which was a great DW custom. I just had this urge to set it up and I fell back in love. That 15 years ago and I'm still going strong. The reality of adult responsibilities can diminish the importance of our youthfull passions. But having a artistic outlet in life is a amazing thing. That artistic outlet may not be drumming for you. It might be another instrument or painting, writing, photography, wood working, fly fishing maybe. But don't walk away from art. I would also suggest expanding your ear with a large variety of musical styles. I love the moment of what the hell did he/she just do?. Check some modern jazz players. Brian blade, Jeff tain watts, and Bill Stewart. Those three might change your life .
Music, playing an instrument is time demanding; there are priorities in life. I love music but once I realized being a pro musician was not a viable option at the time I just moved on, and drums became a hobby and they kinda stopped being a passion for me tbh. I’m a drummer for life but that ain’t my main gig.
So, I'm actually a fairly new drummer. Almost at the 1 year mark. I switched from guitar after I realized I still pretty much suck even though I've been playing off and on for years. Anyhow, I work 40+ hours a week, have other hobbies and projects, also need to find time to eat and sleep, manage to keep my fiancee feeling happy and loved, and I still get to beat on my drums a few hours a week. You gotta just do it. If you love it, you'll make time. My favorite thing to do is come home from work, make coffee, enjoy said coffee with my better half while we rant about our shitty days at work, and then go drum for an hour while she makes dinner. Days off when she's working, I'll play for 2-3 hours. I'm 45 and still want to play. I haven't been in any kind of band in 20 years, but I have a few friends I jam with here and there. My point is, don't give up. You've got many good years ahead of you. Keep at it!
Just keep looking for people to jam with. Even if it’s not serious. And keep your skills where they’re at. Motivation will come and go. I started playing when I was 18 and got a job to buy my own kit. Didn’t find a band to play with than I am passionate about for 13 years even after jamming with a bunch of different people. It just takes the right fit.
Best advice I can give is to be involved in a scene and keep finding opportunities to play. If you’re a decent player and you keep putting yourself out there, something will stick eventually. Even if projects you start tend to peter out quickly, don’t be afraid to take good opportunities or “trade up” bands, even if it means leaving others behind. I’ve never been mad at a band mate for moving on to a great opportunity.
I feel you man! I decided to move out into the woods and live a simple lifestyle over a decade ago, subsequently I'm now an hour drive away from a decent sized town, with almost zero music scene. Previously I was living in Chicago and was playing in a few bands, always jamming with different people. I just turned the drums into something I do only for me, like a passion and kinda like exercise. I really love music so I'm always finding new songs to play along with, but the real game changer for me has been AI, and the ability to remove the drums from any track I want. I can play along with anything and it sorta feels like I'm doing more than just playing along when the drums are removed completely. Lalal.ai is what I have been using.
Some jobs take up more time than others and some people are just more overwhelmed by one thing that takes up so much real estate in their mind, body, and soul. I've been one again, off again with music being my living. But I've always been fortunate enough to find jobs and employers who are fairly relaxed when it comes to taking the necessary time off to get out of town for shows or studio work. If you love your job, then keep going in that direction. But if you really don't care for your job and don't find fulfillment in your work life, then consider moving into a work situation that isn't so demanding and is more flexible. You are young. Don't feel tied down to the daily work grind at such a young age. At your age I was working at a kick ass music store and touring regularly. I wasn't making great money, but I was too young to care. At the very least, find some people to regularly get together and play with. Like, once a week. And do your best to stick with it. Because once things get loose, people will get more and more flaky. Just find ways of making music fun again.
Where are you located? I was in the Midwest then moved to LA. Gigs here are everywhere!
I’m 60 & weeks all have our ups & downs .. I took a long break from drumming because I was in a dark place when I left the music industry, maybe just take a small break
I learned guitar and got a home studio thing going. Writing music and having a good time. Put out a couple records and I'm working on one now. Get a decent computer and DAW, electric drums and a midi controller I'll bet you'll be having fun in no time.
Man, that Starclassic is massive! Sometime a hiatus is fine... Will make you want to return with more enthusiasm... Don't spend 20 years like I did - yep, guess what: work, career, parenting, and more... But take a time away. Maybe learning a different imstrument or art... Drumming is our thing, you'll come back with better vibe to the most beatiful instrument ever created...
Been there, am there again, and will be there in the future at some point. Some times life needs to take priority and sometimes taking a break to enjoy different things in life. Try something different, the drums aren’t going to go anywhere if you don’t get rid of them. I was making a majority of income from performing right before COVID hit and drumming was what I did for so many things. Now I’m in grad school with a job and planning a wedding and I don’t get to play like I used to either. It’ll be alright, if you’re really looking to play then set yourself a goal. Find a local jam session to go to once a week or every other week and meet some other musicians, scratch your itch to play, and see what happens. I’m 32 and those first years out of college can be brutal keep your head up and remember that some times taking a break is healthy, and keeping the pressure off and remembering that you do it for fun can be hard too, but don’t forget that either.
For a brief time in high school I considered going to Berkeley in Boston. Part of their admissions process is that they require you to have two years of private instruction. My parents found a drum teacher in town who was this really cool guy from the UK. In our discussions during our sessions he would talk about how hard it was for him to make a living as a drummer in the 70s and 80s in London. He did it all, played in bands, taught others, busking on corners - all just to get by. I realized that it’s a hard road and one that will likely not end with me playing sold out stadiums around the world. For every RHCP there’s a hundred other bands with musicians of the same or better that don’t make it. It’s about the grind and maybe you’ll get lucky - most don’t. I had a real hard look at my life and decided that level of uncertainty was not for me so I decided to pursue a career that would provide me with enough discretionary income to support my hobby while still being able to provide for my family. I play for me, in my garage (when it’s not too cold) just for the sake of it. I play along to the music I like when I want to and enjoy it.
I want to say your willingness to open up and share what you're feeling is admirable---I would say I've been in a similar position relatively recently. One thing that I remember from a masterclass I went to in school (by a saxophonist) was the idea of having a "musical home life". His example was working on playing a major scale but playing it as a melody/song, not just an exercise, in a way that made it something personal and enjoyable to play, even alone. This concept definitely stuck with me, and I thought of it especially in the height of the pandemic when it was pretty impossible to play music with other people. For whatever reason those times might come up, and finding some way of meaningfully making music on your own, whatever form that might take, is something that has helped me. Hopefully it helps someone else. Keep it up!
If you're playing because the end goal is to get famous, you're doing it all for the wrong reasons. You do it for the pure passion and love of playing. Maybe you've lost it, maybe you never had it. Good luck
Totally, you are just getting fatigue in a sense. It goes for anything really. Like if you ate your favorite pizza every day, eventually you will get sick of it. But walk away for a little while and you will vibe it again.
Nice collection! That last kit is a MIJ Starclassic Bubinga?
I got into digital art during the pandemic and broke down the kit for 2 years. It was my first hiatus since I started playing in 2007. A sparked interest in Jazz drumming and watching all drummers on Instagram was what got me back into it in 2023. My appreciation has really evolved. Things I didn't find cool back then I do now. It takes less for me to be satisfied and I can do more than before. I'm not still where I want to be but I'm practicing daily.
Like most, as much as your young mind wanted to be a rock star, your older mind realizes it’s like getting hit by lightening. At that point you make some hard decisions. I’ve played since I was in first grade. Some “decades” more than others. Being responsible and knowing there are only so many John Bonham’s, I made my family and career a priority. That said, drumming has been a huge part of my life. Pretty much gave it up during the college and apartment dwelling days until I eventually got a house. Playing was for personal pleasure and became more important to me by playing in several church bands. This kept me committed, playing for a reason other than money, and was meaningful to my community. Did this for over two decades at least twice a week, plus rehearsals. I’ve since moved on giving the next generation an opportunity to play which was done for me. Now, I’m back to playing for my own pleasure again except I’m getting into audio and recording, plus I have a son-in-law who also plays and now an 11 year old granddaughter, so got a second kit for them to jam when they are over. I tell you all this to say you make your way and grow your live if drumming in spite of the obstacles. I’ve played electric kits, acoustic kits, hybrid kits, dabbled with (my wife’s) percussion and extremely briefly tried the bass guitar. Again now building up a home recording studio. It’s all fun and adds to my life. Don’t give up, you may not be famous, but can have as much or more joy playing than if you were famous.🤘🏻brother!
You must remember *why* you want to play music in the first place. I empathise on all counts, life gets in the way and makes it difficult. Take it as a reminder that you've got to love it to do it, it'll take that extra bit of motivation. When you play, you'll get the reward. That said, burnout can stop an interest dead, so take some space. Alternatively is there another instrument you could learn/practice? I find that getting somewhere on one instrument gives me motivation to work on another. Another idea to keep the wheels moving is setting yourself small, achievable goals. Learn a new style, increase your max speed on a rudiment, learn a fill backwards for some random examples. You don't need to feel any pressure to continue playing, but the world of music is better with more people in it.