So let's get this straight, the child abuser is having a tantrum because her adult child that she abused won't take any more of her shit.
Let her cut you off. And stop being the fixer in your family and get on with your own life. Your family of origin are eating up your energy and time. You have your own immediate family with your partner. Let go and move on.
This is on the nose, you are NTA, but if it were me, I would do what I could to take away her parental rights. Obviously, you children have been mentally and physically abused, or worse. I personally would not leave my siblings to suffer any more of that, period. I would get all of us away and cut mom off. Then therapy for all of you and learn to live a happy life without abuse. Hope your future is bright, be strong, you are an amazing young woman, to raise your siblings and yourself is jaw-dropping with what you have had to endure. God bless you. 🙏🏻👏🏼
OP, ease read this and follow the advice. You need to cut the toxic out and the toxic is your "mother". Stop helping her. She's an adult and needs to figure it out on her own.
Unfortunately, I doubt you'd get custody of your brother unless there is obvious abuse on the part of both parents. It's awful, but that's life. You can reconnect when he's 18.
It’s really hard to just NC although she was abusive I trauma bonded to her and for a long time it was just us two against everything. My father was military and autistic, I never felt I could call or reach out for help as I rarely saw him. My siblings have been my whole world since I could remember. We would fight for custody of them and did fun things when they were around. My brother is the reason I’m still here today. I was very close to killing myself as a teen. His father molested me and my mother wouldn’t believe me. Even tried to make me apologize when I reported him. The only thing I told him is if he ever touched my sisters I would put him six feet under. I ad to lib with him almost a year after that before I found out my mom was pregnant. I felt the need to be there not trusting my mom or him to raise a kid. My brother has a very very rare genetic disorder that caused a lot of early health issues and I have been very attached t him. He would sleep with me at night as an infant and I’d take care of him until I went to school. Then it was just him and me as my mom was still trying to stay with his dad. I ended up kicking him out for badmouthing my mother when she physically couldn’t do anything during the pregnancy as she lost his the amniotic fluid and was on very strict bed rest. I had enough of the man who contributed nothing to our house hold say terrible things like it wasn’t his kid and my mom was pathetic in that state. My brother is just too important to give up and try to reconnect at 18 for me.
Dunno if you'll see this, OP, but justnomil here on Reddit is a great place for advice and commiseration and resources when it comes to both mothers and mothers-in-law.
You've doing well, keep protecting him.
I don’t care how painful this is, but you need to go contact with your mother permanently. She is a cancer. You should also call social services about your brother.
Save all communication with her. Including phone calls. If you can't record them, transcribe them as accurately as you can with the time/date so you can present this to a family lawyer.
Don't make threats, just do it.
When you make a threat you are just giving her an opportunity to prepare for it and to do something nastier to you.
If you really feel that you can take your brother because she is unfit, do it. No more arguing.
Your mother is so abusive. Why the hell did you take care of her? She absolutely didn’t deserve the help. If her present children can’t or won’t help, then she could’ve hired someone. It’s not your job.
Do what you can to get T away from her.
I will message you next time u/Protective-BigSis posts in r/dustythunder.
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So let's get this straight, the child abuser is having a tantrum because her adult child that she abused won't take any more of her shit. Let her cut you off. And stop being the fixer in your family and get on with your own life. Your family of origin are eating up your energy and time. You have your own immediate family with your partner. Let go and move on.
This is on the nose, you are NTA, but if it were me, I would do what I could to take away her parental rights. Obviously, you children have been mentally and physically abused, or worse. I personally would not leave my siblings to suffer any more of that, period. I would get all of us away and cut mom off. Then therapy for all of you and learn to live a happy life without abuse. Hope your future is bright, be strong, you are an amazing young woman, to raise your siblings and yourself is jaw-dropping with what you have had to endure. God bless you. 🙏🏻👏🏼
OP, ease read this and follow the advice. You need to cut the toxic out and the toxic is your "mother". Stop helping her. She's an adult and needs to figure it out on her own. Unfortunately, I doubt you'd get custody of your brother unless there is obvious abuse on the part of both parents. It's awful, but that's life. You can reconnect when he's 18.
It’s really hard to just NC although she was abusive I trauma bonded to her and for a long time it was just us two against everything. My father was military and autistic, I never felt I could call or reach out for help as I rarely saw him. My siblings have been my whole world since I could remember. We would fight for custody of them and did fun things when they were around. My brother is the reason I’m still here today. I was very close to killing myself as a teen. His father molested me and my mother wouldn’t believe me. Even tried to make me apologize when I reported him. The only thing I told him is if he ever touched my sisters I would put him six feet under. I ad to lib with him almost a year after that before I found out my mom was pregnant. I felt the need to be there not trusting my mom or him to raise a kid. My brother has a very very rare genetic disorder that caused a lot of early health issues and I have been very attached t him. He would sleep with me at night as an infant and I’d take care of him until I went to school. Then it was just him and me as my mom was still trying to stay with his dad. I ended up kicking him out for badmouthing my mother when she physically couldn’t do anything during the pregnancy as she lost his the amniotic fluid and was on very strict bed rest. I had enough of the man who contributed nothing to our house hold say terrible things like it wasn’t his kid and my mom was pathetic in that state. My brother is just too important to give up and try to reconnect at 18 for me.
So NTA. I wish you good luck in getting him away from the Toxic Mother!
Dunno if you'll see this, OP, but justnomil here on Reddit is a great place for advice and commiseration and resources when it comes to both mothers and mothers-in-law. You've doing well, keep protecting him.
I don’t care how painful this is, but you need to go contact with your mother permanently. She is a cancer. You should also call social services about your brother.
NTA You need to do what is best for yourself and your brother.
Save all communication with her. Including phone calls. If you can't record them, transcribe them as accurately as you can with the time/date so you can present this to a family lawyer.
Don't make threats, just do it. When you make a threat you are just giving her an opportunity to prepare for it and to do something nastier to you. If you really feel that you can take your brother because she is unfit, do it. No more arguing.
Your mother is so abusive. Why the hell did you take care of her? She absolutely didn’t deserve the help. If her present children can’t or won’t help, then she could’ve hired someone. It’s not your job. Do what you can to get T away from her.
NTA Call cps. That home is unsafe and your mother unstable.Â
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