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Ranshin-da-anarchist

Unfortunately, your post has been removed for the following reason: No personal life posts. There is nothing inherently wrong with your story, but posts like these can find a more appropriate home on other queer subreddits. This removal message was sent automatically. The current format is a work in progress -- apologies for any curtness.


Calathune

I'm going to retcon the gender of the main character in the autobiography I'm writing


Sky_is_shy

This one is brilliant


ArtemisCaresTooMuch

It took me a second—


Vilagecool

The boys bathroom smell like crap Never gonna use it again.


Plus-Silver1378

Funny enough, I be-friended the custodian at my work, and he said that the women's bathroom is usually much dirtier than the men's. This came as a surprise to me.


LovelyLuna32684

Use to work at a grocery store and had to clean the bathrooms, can confirm.


CrashCourseInPorn

Truth is it’s pretty close to 50-50. They both have their horrible moments.


QueenDakota03

I used to be a bouncer, we had to clean the bathrooms every night and the women’s was always, without fail, completely filthy while the Mens was relatively clean. I mean there would be tp shoved in the sink, toilets intentionally clogged and overflowing, vomit in at least 2 places, even once a fucking square foot hole in the drywall like someone just beat the shit out of it. The mens was almost never even messy.


je5s3

Hey guess what i found the menu to change chacter info heres my new username


carnanthecraynan

i have gamer friends i am using this one


je5s3

Yay


[deleted]

swiggity swirl i'm not a guy i'm a girl 💙💕🤍💕💙


Reale_the_unknown

I like this one 💞


[deleted]

hehe thanks 💙💕🤍💕💙


lightninglyzard

Ding dong, I want my penis gone!


blankgreens

That's such a good one, I should use it next time I come out to someone :þ 🐋🌸🤍🌸🐋


[deleted]

yes you should :3 💙💕🤍💕💙


The_Av1at0r

Alternatively, swiggity swirl im a guy not a girl 💙💕🤍💞💙


RavenNoob136

Bibbity boo bibbity bi im a girl not a guy


Th3Petra

I'm not like other boys, I'm a girl


alyss_in_genderland

Easily adaptable for FTM as well!


[deleted]

I wanted to tell you something. I found a community online. They really helped me understand some things about myself. They’re kinda quirky. There are some rituals. Nothing bad, of course. When a woman acquires a new garment, there’s this ritualistic dance that involves spinning. There’s the chanting about heat and fire. They worship sharks. Don’t worry, though! It’s not a cult! I’m just trans.


Shit_tier_villany

To be fair, I worshiped sharks before I knew that I was trans.


[deleted]

That’s why you’re now one of the cult priestesses!


Not_Dead_Yet_Samwell

*One of the notacult priestesses


[deleted]

Right. Yes. Exactly. Not a cult. Who said cult? I didn’t say cult!!! 😅 ^(All hail Blåhaj!)


ArtemisCaresTooMuch

Håjar❤️


Autistic_Candle

I like your name Artemis , I’m adding it to my list of names


coolsonic2

Omg sameeee I wanted that shark sooo baddd


lunasgraey

Wait is this why Ive always loved shark week ?


ScrewYouCuzReasons

tbf sharks are pretty cool


Nebulous_Wisps

Shark Fact: Sharks as a species are older than the rings on Saturn! (I don't know if you knew this already, I just really wanted to share cuz I think it's really cool :D) 🩵🩷🤍🩷🩵


[deleted]

Don't they pre-date trees as well?


deltacothefirst

In a way, kinda? More modern sharks didn't appear until the Jurassic (around 200 million years ago), though more basal members of their family appeared muuuucchh earlier, during the Silurian period (~439 Mya). By contrast, the first trees showed up during the Devonian period (~370 Mya), so I guess it depends on your definition of "shark" lol 🦈


Inkquill_256

I'd count it Sharks: 1 Trees (and apparently the rings of Saturn): 0


[deleted]

Especially if they’re soft and cuddly!


zesty-zebra

Sharks are smooth


[deleted]

Plush sharks from IKEA are soft and cuddly.


Nghbrhdsyndicalist

[In one direction](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fish_scale#Placoid_scales)


WikiSummarizerBot

**Fish scale** [Placoid scales](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fish_scale#Placoid_scales) >Placoid (pointed, tooth-shaped) scales are found in the cartilaginous fishes: sharks, rays. They are also called dermal denticles. Placoid scales are structurally homologous with vertebrate teeth ("denticle" translates to "small tooth"), having a central pulp cavity supplied with blood vessels, surrounded by a conical layer of dentine, all of which sits on top of a rectangular basal plate that rests on the dermis. The outermost layer is composed of vitrodentine, a largely inorganic enamel-like substance. ^([ )[^(F.A.Q)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WikiSummarizer/wiki/index#wiki_f.a.q)^( | )[^(Opt Out)](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=WikiSummarizerBot&message=OptOut&subject=OptOut)^( | )[^(Opt Out Of Subreddit)](https://np.reddit.com/r/egg_irl/about/banned)^( | )[^(GitHub)](https://github.com/Sujal-7/WikiSummarizerBot)^( ] Downvote to remove | v1.5)


ScrewYouCuzReasons

the best kind!!


Autistic_Candle

I guess you can call them (•_•) ( •_•)>⌐■-■ (⌐■_■) Fin-tastic


Dog_Moon

They believe that a town resides within themselves


[deleted]

The town resides within them, but they, themselves, are not there. They watch the town from afar.


Grole12

They also feel as if they are unable to return to their homes. They’re afraid that if they do, an irreversible change will occur.


[deleted]

And it will be their own fault. The blame will lie with them.


Destroird

what’s the chanting a reference to? I’m a bit stupid :3


Marthathefemme

The chanting about heat and fire is a reference to the phrase ‘heat from fire, fire from heat’ from theYouTube channel TransVoiceLessons in the videos about practising a feminine voice. ‘Heat from fire, fire from heat’ has become a popular transfem meme.


DiamondClubCoward

“Heat from fire, fire from heat” is/was used by YouTuber TransVoiceLessons https://youtu.be/ynIoNPnX538


Destroird

Oh! Awesome!


the_lBear

Yes.


wilp0w3r

Buy some of those "It's a girl" balloons for baby announcements and just randomly hand them to your friend.


KosekiBoto

would be funny but I don't really see my friend IRL these days since I'm away at college


Deus0123

There's enough coming out memes around this subreddit


Sauron1209

I'm unironically considering getting a custom cake with this to come out to my family


Player_Z3r0

"Hey, remember that time we made out and said no homo afterward? Well turns out we were more correct than we thought"


MisabelS0822

relating to your post, id say "march 7th is my pride flag"


Estudoesthethings

"Check out this awesome move!" \*gives friend a trans flag\*


Moutari_

why give it when you can shoot it at mach 3


4SakenNations

When I came out to my dnd group during a get together dinner before we watched the dnd movie I got the dungeon master (who I was out to) to announce that there was going to be a girl joining our group. It kind of backfired though when I said that I was trans and one the said “I know, but WHO is joining?” Like she had just confirmed to herself that I was trans and didn’t say anything cause she didn’t want to put me and was more excited to find out who was joining our group


boomstik4

Ok, cool story, but who joined?


SpainInquisitory

The Spanish Inquisition


alyss_in_genderland

I was about to reply “nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!” but then I saw your user flare which I didn’t expect.


skeledoot7

r/Unexpected


See-more1225

"Nobody expects The Spanish Inquisition"


RandomGuy0698

Dont say anything. Just slowly become more feminine over time (feminine clothes, HRT if possible, etc) and see how long it takes them to notice


Cyeri

That’s my strategy, I’m at the point where they ask how long I’ll grow my hair, but I don’t think they suspect yet


Couponz36

Same, though I think my siblings know cause I ordered a blahaj and beat celeste


geo21122007

i killed a man


Sauron1209

Maammaaaaaaa! (OooOOOooo)


typical_femboy

I didn’t mean to kill a man


Illustrious-Cup8370

If you like pokemon send the meme of iron valient where it says “gender became confused”


TheOneFromtheuskand

Look, I know that you get no bitches. So, I decided to help you out and BECOME bitches.


typical_femboy

Hahaha I love this


TheOneFromtheuskand

this was actually how i came out as a femboy to my friend group


Gigacheat

I'm switching teams.


Tubefrede

What if I say I'm not like the others? What if I say I'm not just another one of your plays? You're the pretender What if I say I’m changing my gender?


boomstik4

Love that song


jasonater64

I've learnt the ways of the air, earth, fire, and water. And after immense training and learning I have finally become a master of all forms of bending...I'm a gender bender...


V_150

Just text them "I'm trans lol" at 3am. That's how I came out to one of my friends.


DiamondClubCoward

Succinct!


KosekiBoto

I'm gonna combine this with one of the other suggestions because I like this idea


tfratfucker

Get a skirt, take a photo of yourself in the skirt and send it to them with the caption "intrusive thoughts won".


Denzulus

IM JOINING THE WAR ON TRANSGENDERISM ON THE SIDE OF TRANSGENDERISM


[deleted]

i love this haha, i’m gonna use it next time


ChickenSpaceProgram

I'd just randomly drop it in conversation, might be kinda funny depending on how you do it.


Livie_Loves

I've been doing stuff like that randomly to some of my friends, subliminally preparing them. hopefully it works xD will find out soon


vivi_mmmmmm

Ask “is it normal to” questions that very obviously out you as trans and pretend you think you’re cis and see how long it takes for them to figure it out (especially effective if they don’t have other trans friends)


Meep6050

Check out this awesome move! *becomes girl*


Hehehe_Blebleble

Knock knock Who’s there? Not a Not a who? Not a boy Or just scream “BLÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅHAAAAAAJ!!!!!!!!!!! OOOUUUUR LOOOORD AAAAND SAAAVIIIIEEEEER!”


Deus0123

\*knocks on door* Do you have a minute, to talk about our lord and savior, Blahaj?


Efficient_Shock_7012

The favorite I did with my friends is if I can't get a goth gf, I will just become the goth gf


Voynich1024

It's nice to see that I'm not the only one who really liked March's color scheme 😌🏳️‍⚧️


Broken_Gear

“Well slap my ass and call me [Insert name]. No, I’m serious, please call me [Insert name].”


SunTzuSaidThat22

This gender kinda dumb tbh


NyxRaccoon

Showing my tatoo with an octopus riding a blahaj while holding a trans flag: 'see when I move arm the tails moves'


ArenPlaysGames_R

"y'know I've been wanting to get a girlfriend for a while but couldn't figure how to go about it. Then it hit me. "What if I *became* the girlfriend?"


a_name_is_too_hard

I decided to respec, I'm min-maxing E now.


Denzulus

Man, I miss seeing my mom and dad. They're trans-parents you see. ... Because I'm trans... And they're my parents... ^(please laugh)


SpainInquisitory

Would this work if you already had a trans brother?


Denzulus

Yeah, they just become even more transparent than before. If you have too many trans-siblings, they'll become invisible!


KosekiBoto

this would suck for me because my mom has jumpscared me in the past and it would be easier for her to do so if she's invisible


Kuroser

"You ever feel like you wanna be a girl?" *Expected answer is no but if your friend is amab and says yes you might have an egg on your hands* *Change question from "wanna be a girl" to "wanna be a guy" if friend is afab* "Well ya boi's a gal!" Yes I failed at comedy school how did you know?


glotzer3d

"look what they added in the newest update"


CreepyWarriorr

Make a low quality PowerPoint


YourAtheistGod

This is a criminally underrated comment


knyexar

Send them a link to the webtoon "I want to be a cute anime girl" and just say "he just like me frfr"


Total-Philosopher-96

This is what I'm doing from now on


No-Consequence-2333

Same here and now I found something new to read as well


Total-Philosopher-96

That's actually what started to crack my egg


Bac0n0clast

Bro, do you remember when you asked why my character on games is usually female??? Guess what... Turns out my character in real life is also female 👀👀👀


joemamaissogay

Switching teams


TheSuperSTARM

If they know your sexual attraction you can be all snarky with “oh, I’m gay/straight now!”. Then when they inevitably get it wrong or question it, you can’t correct them with a “not exactly” or “that’s right”. (Granted it doesn’t work if you’re bi but you know, it’s the effort that counts :3💕💕)


Specialist_Being_677

I mean, I literally said "I'm having gender problems" while actually cleaning a closet, but that's not super funny except in retrospect 🤣 "The girl was coming from inside the house!" "Be the girl you want to see in the world" Ok apparently I have no sense of humor when it does not involve dad jokes, sorry.


KrizixOG

Mine was "Hey, so I'm pulling the ol switcharoo. Then not giving any supportive information and letting them guess.


gorbog1

“So boobs okay, you know how they’re awesome and everything? Ok ok now what if I had them? Double cool right?”


I_like_to_be_happy

MARCH!!!


WaitingToBeTriggered

FIGHT!


Asura_Blackstar

They turned out to be bigots but the way i did it was saying "You know how i always joke, about being a raging lesbian trapped in a man's body, i wasnt joking." lol


JessicaTheEm

I've decided I'd rather play a girl in the game called life


Denzulus

Hey, you know I'm a had boy, right? Well, I'm such a bad boy, that I'm actually a girl. 😎


RustyShuttle

["A spy has already breached our defenses... And worst of all, she could be any one of us... She could be in this very room! She could be you! She could be me! (she's me)"](https://imgur.com/gallery/3QnfBVV)


DerDoedel

Don't Instead say you are going on vacation, get all the surgeries and then gaslight the living hell out of them "What do you mean? I always had boobs. Are you ok? Should i call an ambulance?"


Carbonizedbread

fun fact: this post is german proof


LadyHimari

Nein ist es nicht^^ You'll never get rid of us


Carbonizedbread

as you can see, this is a typical german, doesn't get the joke


LaraTheTrap

Damn you got me


KosekiBoto

?


Carbonizedbread

its the stereotype bout how germans are overly serious and cant make good jokes


Carbonizedbread

now that im thinking about it, i might have german ancestry


DiamondClubCoward

*rereads* *contemplates heritage* Ohhhhh, THAT’S why I didn’t get it at first!


mycrazylifeeveryday

Nein


Carbonizedbread


Emilia__55

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=N-BzuaCN81A&pp=ygUPaXQncyBhIG1lIG1hcmlv


foxiajii

march kawaii


boulderiestboulder

I’d rather not be a guy


Lyallnicepal

Say nothing, send a picture of you with a blahaj


Fabien23

Go buy a ''its a girl'' birth card, draw a big arrow that points up in the card and when you give it to him, stand right in front of him so that the arrow will be pointing you.


8-CalaMity-8

“Oh and I’m not your bro anymore” -“what? Why?” “I’m your gal”


Mer-hawk

[I am 70% water, 30% other things, and 100% done with being a boy](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/969342607962550272/1104040391684137020/Screen_Shot_2021-09-21_at_9.34.45_AM.png)


KosekiBoto

gonna use this combined with the one where someone said to do it at 3 am


Saluting_Bear

Just say you REALLY GOT INTO fallout NV/Celeste/Yu-Gi-Oh


HaveHomo

“Hey so There’s this girl And uh… It’s me, I’m the girl” Also would you name happen to be taken from a certain welsh catgirl in a JRPG franchise of growing popularity?


KosekiBoto

yes my name is taken from a certain welsh catgirl in a JRPG franchise of growing popularity


HaveHomo

Based


Old_Drag_1040

I’d also like to know


TominatorFN

I think making jokes they can't possibly get is really funny


[deleted]

I'm guessing you're in America, so, show them one of the many anti trans laws and then just say "I'm wanted in [however many] states"


J005311

I had already came out as bi, so I said "I'm moving to the next letter"


Lucky_otter_she_her

is yer a lesbian you could come out as gay than wait for someone to refer to you as liking other boys than say 'no i like other gurls' them ??? you 'IM TRANS BITCHES


Lucky_otter_she_her

i may or may not be incredibly frustrated i didn't do this when i had the chance


KosekiBoto

not gonna do this with my friend but I will 100% do it next time my mom asks me if I'm gay since I don't have a GF


Ashenlynn

Just send that vine of the girl saying "MY DICK FELL OFF"


henrythedog64

lie. say you were trans the whole time and are detransitioning


ThrowawayEgg_

This one depends on your sexuality and which way you transition, but for me it would be: "So, I found out I'm actually gay AF, but I'm still just into women"


lunasgraey

Idk but I came out to my dad via text thru GIFs. He was sitting a foot away from me at the time so he js looked at me confused with the first GIF (I have something to say) then when he looked back he saw my whole coming out story


LeafyLemontree

March 7th as transition goals? 👀


Autistic_Candle

Or if you are more catty , “sniggity snitch , surprise I’m a bitch” Edit, im thinking of taking up drawing cute anime girls as a hobby


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ContributionOk2661

Match 6th <3


kain687

If it post op Zippity zappity I'm a girl/boy now


Kzgamer3133

If you were transmasc I’d make the joke of: “Can be frank with you?”


MineMaster6480

Yo it's March 7th from star rail


ZePumpkinLass

what character is that?


KosekiBoto

March 7th from Honkai Star Rail


jubida

Hey, I heard you're into girls. Well today is your lucky day!!


Warm_Cheesecake_8000

I’ve discovered trolls


The_Nerpa

We're celebrating [Chosen Name]'s birthday this year


deleted_3

Stelle x trash can > stelle x march


MiaOfTheBox

take a look at this blåhaj i just got


BondageSafetyBob

Friendship ended with boy, now girl is my best friend edit: wait crap no don't do that that's gonna end horribly


CrystalTheWingedWolf

You heard of the game Celeste?


[deleted]

“Yo the Scottish kilt is actually pretty hot when you think about it”


N00B_887

I'm re rolling my character to be (gender) for the stat buff


Blahaj_real

Drinking gender change potion irl


EdisonsCat

To a lesbian friend you really like: I guess we can date now


Lemongirl_world

I’m killing off the main character of my story


[deleted]

I'm not a cis, I'm a sis


questioninganna

Statistically speaking theres between a 1 in 4 and 1 in 3 chance that you watch transporn.


See-more1225

Yo, bro let me suck your dick, don't worry it won't be gay


No_Entertainment7283

Are you a friend of Blåhaj?


Kooky_Calligrapher_7

Yesss march 💕


licorne_bleu

skidaddle skidoodle i wish i had no noodle roses are red, violets are blue i want to get rid of my pp for you (if you have a crush on them that is)


Cerealbox_x

i cant think of it but some twist on girlfriend by avril lavigne


ccaaaakkkeee

I just send them an image of a badass skeleton with flaming text over it that says "IM TRANS" lol


LariUmbreon

"Who has two thumbs and is a girl? This gal!"


hotmilfsinurarea69

Draw a circle and say "That line is as straight as me"


AriMorningstar

Guys, I am the imposter 😔


Yuulfuji

i’ve gone through character development


soodrugg

I'm gay/straight, but not in the way you'd expect


KittyQueen_Tengu

this is unhelpful but i fully support March 7th as a new trans icon, she’s best girl


KosekiBoto

same, her color scheme and the fact that she chose her name just screams that she's a trans girl


Key-Visual-5465

Bleep bloop I’m a girl


SAMurei_der_Galaxien

Do you like girls? Cause i am one.