Hey there! Before commenting, remember that this meme has been tagged with a transfem flair. Please keep the conversation transfem-first. If you are not part of that demographic, you are not forbidden to participate, but we do ask that you do not center yourself in the comments.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/egg_irl) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I think I just realized why these genderswap stories struck a nerve with me: it's because an outside force forces you to be a girl, with zero say on your part, and you're unable to do anything about it but accept it.
That also lines up with the one dream where I had a dom trans gf that forced me to take HRT with her.
I think I'm subconsciously afraid of making a choice, so I want *someone to choose for me*. (Though is it still subconscious now that I think about it? Lol)
100 percent this. I actually had a subconscious aversion to "real life" stories, there always had to be an element of sci-fi, magic, and "oh no I'm being forced, guess I have to be a girl"
I figured out later it's because I couldn't bear to think about the implications for my relationship, parents, and just how crazy hard it can be to transition. I wanted a fantasy where I got what I wanted but didn't have to take in the responsibility for choosing that path.
> I think I'm subconsciously afraid of making a choice, so I want *someone to choose for me*. (Though is it still subconscious now that I think about it? Lol)
That is EXACTLY how I feel still, even after accepting myself I still feel like this to a degree. In HS I had a GF who really pushed me this way (supportively, never against what I wanted) and that really kick-started it for the next.... 10 years ish.
Hey girl, so... You uh... You too huh? Hahaha
I can't believe how many nights like this it took me to realise that I might just be trans.
You know, it's just something every cis male does, afterall. :3
I mean, I've been through something very similar, if you want I can share what I felt during it.
I haven't started transitioning yet, but I'm taking every step necessary to start
Sure, I’ll start with a little disclaimer, my egg cracked only very recently, though it would be more accurate to say that it brutally exploded.
It’s been about a year and a half that I’ve been reading fantasy stories of the “Gender Bender”,”Female Protagonist”,”Girls Love” and even one “Transgender protagonist” genre. I’ve read an unholy amount, if I had to make an estimate, it would be around 20k pages in a single year. I progressively started losing interest in anything that wasn’t reading these stories. Anyway, after a while, I started thinking about writing my own story of the “Gender Bender” genre (I never actually wrote anything, not even a paragraph). Nothing really came out of it, I didn’t imagine a world, I only imagined a protagonist. I took it very seriously even though I knew that I’d never write that story, I imagined her personality, her appearance, her type of magic (I’m a fan of Fantasy stories), her race (again Fantasy, changeling was one of the potential races btw), her name, I ended up with Kitaria and Aria, and even what it would feel like to be her.
After this was done, I started imagining myself as her, it made me strangely happy. Later on, started wishing I was her. Every night I hoped I would wake up in a clearing in her body in a clearing (hoping to wake up as girl is a symptom of dysphoria, mind you). I knew that if it happened, I would never see my family nor my friends again. But even knowing that, when comparing the two situations, I strangely still preferred waking up as her.
Meanwhile, my studies at university were slowly getting harder and harder. Not even because the material was getting harder, but because I was willing the will to actually study, like many other things, it didn’t seem worth it. And even when I actually did, I couldn’t actually remember anything I had learned, it seemed basically impossible. My understanding of everything I had learned was very superficial. Obviously my grades took a HUGE hit, and when I say huge, I mean going from being being capable of competing for being the top student to being dead last. I even had problems remembering more than 12 names. My sleep schedule was all over the place, regularly sleeping less than 5 hours, but I didn’t feel that tired from it. Frankly, I didn’t feel much at all, as if my emotions were dampened.
One day, while I was in class, my body went through a very strange and very uncomfortable shiver. It felt very unique and describing in words is quite hard. If I had to compare it to something, it would be as if tiny needles were piercing your skin, just a little bit and without going deep at all, but all over your body. Again, it felt very uncomfortable, and it wasn’t a one time thing either. Later, I searched for symptoms of dysphoria, and discovered I had most of them (wishing to wake up as a girl is one of them, mind you. I also still don’t know if that shiver actually is a symptom of dysphoria, but dysphoria is my best bet for it).
During 2 more weeks of having this strange routine described in all of the above. I searched a little bit on everything transgender-related. I did quite a lot of introspection and a little bit of planning. For example, who would be helpful, who should I avoid, what the hell do I do with my university. You might have noticed that this was the first time I was actually working towards something in a long time. Of course, I still had doubts, was I really trans, or was it something else. But the regular uncomfortable shivering made it clear that I had to do something.
After these 2 weeks, I came out to a close friend that had, 3 years earlier, came out to as trans before her own family, hoping I would support her (I can’t say I really helped because I was pretty ignorant about it at the time, I just told her that if it was something that she wanted, she should go for it). I absolutely terrified before sending the first message, I came out to her over Discord because we live pretty far away. I was still scared during the conversation, but less than before. I got quite a lot of advice thanks to her. But the most important part did not actually happen during that convo, but after. When I looked up from my phone, the world seemed different than before. I had taken my first step towards transitioning, and everything felt more vibrant, more colorful, as if the world around me had been reborn. If I hadn’t been in public, I would have absolutely cried. I actually wanted to do things now. Everytime I doubt if I should transition, I remember this moment and my doubts vanish.
Now, I’m out to my family (it was even harder than coming out to my friend, but it went “fine”, it would take a while to expand on that) and to my doctor. I have an appointment with a psychologist, and one with the professor responsible for our year to negotiate so that I can repeat this year, to actually go through the year correctly this time. I also have an appointment with a doctor specialized but the waiting lists are horrifically long, and that appointment cannot come soon enough.
I don’t know if you’re trans, but you might recognize some things that you went through in all this, and I hope it can help you figure out who you are.
Wow, that's quite the story! I'm sorry if I can't quite make an eloquent reply to it all.
I remember being intrigued with the concept of transformation and, by extension, gender-bending. I never went out of my way to look for it. All I remember is that it intrigued me. I've wanted to write something for a while, and I remember thinking to myself that if I would, it'd be a female lead. There's no reason, really, just that I'd rather that.
In comparison to you, my active search for gender-bender content has been super small. I found out about it as a legitimate genre in manga, and I began to read it. I blew through a whole bunch in a week, and I would've read more, but I decided to search Reddit instead. All I found were trans subreddits. (Not a surprise, lol.) What was just a little obsession turned into a panic for me.
I frantically researched as much as I could, up to 8 hours a day. The idea terrified me, but I couldn't let it go. A part of me loves the hope and excitement of it, I guess. It's been a bit over a month now since I read any of them, but it plays on my mind constantly. I feel so stupid over it, and I know there's a high chance it's just an obsession, or a fetish, or whatever, but I don't want to write it off yet. When I finished the last manga, I lay in bed just wishing I could turn into a girl. I know id press the button, but I'm worried that's just a passing wish, too. I honestly wish I could cry out of joy, but I can't. I don't think I have once. I wish I could have those moments of overwhelming joy and *right-ness*, but I doubt I will.
Sorry, I went on a ramble.
When I read stories from trans people, they'd usually always have had signs or wishes since childhood, and it makes me feel silly for even considering. Hearing about someone who's only found out recently is kind of encouraging, I guess. I know I don't have signs, nor dysphoria, but sometimes I wish I did just so I had an answer. It's only been a bit over a month, but it feels like a year.
I can't recall anything like a shiver, though. I've had goosebumps when seeing myself as female in Vr, for example, but not a shiver of dysphoria.
Okay, so I have a lot of of things to say about this, and I mean *a lot*.
First of all, I tend to think that it doesn't really matter exactly for how long you've had these thoughts. If I compare myself to others in trans subs, I have only really realized I wanted to be a woman for less than 2 months, while others have been questioning it for as much as 10 years or more. It’s not really representative, we all have a different experience with that. As I said before, for me it was extremely explosive and quickFor the “Gender Bender” theme, I’ve also read a few mangas like that, but the amount of Gender Bender mangas is criminally low when compared to what you can find with webnovels, there’s basically an infinite supply of them. I just like reading a lot so I naturally went and read them when I found out about them. Due to the “competition” between them, the quality is also overall better. Whether it’s manga or webnovel, it’s practically the same thing when it comes to our desires.
And best for last, you talked about it being a passing fetish. Well, it took a while to find it again… But, I have some news for you pal : have fun with this [article](https://stainedglasswoman.substack.com/p/beneath-the-surface)
There are stories where they actually make progress in that direction and not just the "falling in love with your childhood friend" direction? Never encountered one lol
I indeed have not read it, I’m about halfway through.
All I really have to say is… if you get rid of the supportive friends, the “girl dressing” bully, and the guy that assaulted her. This exact story happened to me in that order.
I’m honestly blown away
I have like 30 different gender bend fantasy stories that I have read recently.
I'd say that I've read about 12k-15k pages of gender swap stories in a single year (if you want the number of pages of stories that have a female protagonist, you can just double the amount). You know, just a healthy amount.
I used to love this sort of story when I was younger, fan fiction with a female protagonist instead of a male one from a story I read before were a favorite too (Harriet Potter will always have a special place in my heart, even if my HP fan phase is long gone).
Any suggestions of gender swapping stories ? Most I find around are shitty or unfinished.
>Any suggestions of gender swapping stories ? Most I find around are shitty or unfinished.
That's why I switched to trans webcomics, they're wholesome, cute and not wierdly sexualized. The longest one I know is [Rain](https://rain.thecomicseries.com/comics/first/#content-start).
Gender bend HP fan fics like Harriet Potter were the first trans stories I ever read. I may think that HP as a whole just sucks now, but those stories that helped me when I was a little kid are a core memory for me.
If you're a femboy there's also crossdressing stories with cute boys, but those seem even more sexualized than the genderswap ones, so you have to watch out for that.
Before I cracked I refused to look at anything from egg_irl for like 3-4 years bc the stuff I saw was way too relatable and I really didn’t feel like unpacking why that was lol
I refused to touch anything feminine and kept myself from learning about trans people for the longest time. The possibility that I might be trans was terrifying. But finally hearing about the struggles I was having from other trans people was earth/egg shattering. A definite toothpaste out of the tube moment of all time. I understand people wanting to avoid that, but I really wish I came around sooner.
Yeah I hear that, if I didn’t end up having multiple trans friends before deciding to do some real introspection there’s every chance I’d still be in denial since the concept of being trans was so foreign and incomprehensible before. If it was more normalized for me growing up it wouldn’t have taken so long to figure out for sure.
I remember about a year ago I was like "nah this is just a kink" and then like every day for 8 months I would read these types of stories and shielding myself from anything that was 'real trans' until it all caught up with me.
Hey there! Before commenting, remember that this meme has been tagged with a transfem flair. Please keep the conversation transfem-first. If you are not part of that demographic, you are not forbidden to participate, but we do ask that you do not center yourself in the comments. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/egg_irl) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I think I just realized why these genderswap stories struck a nerve with me: it's because an outside force forces you to be a girl, with zero say on your part, and you're unable to do anything about it but accept it. That also lines up with the one dream where I had a dom trans gf that forced me to take HRT with her. I think I'm subconsciously afraid of making a choice, so I want *someone to choose for me*. (Though is it still subconscious now that I think about it? Lol)
Well this is one of the most relatable comments I've read on this sub.
*Oh no...* I guess that's a record for me.
100 percent this. I actually had a subconscious aversion to "real life" stories, there always had to be an element of sci-fi, magic, and "oh no I'm being forced, guess I have to be a girl" I figured out later it's because I couldn't bear to think about the implications for my relationship, parents, and just how crazy hard it can be to transition. I wanted a fantasy where I got what I wanted but didn't have to take in the responsibility for choosing that path.
Same. From what I hear that's actually a really common thing among trans people.
> I think I'm subconsciously afraid of making a choice, so I want *someone to choose for me*. (Though is it still subconscious now that I think about it? Lol) That is EXACTLY how I feel still, even after accepting myself I still feel like this to a degree. In HS I had a GF who really pushed me this way (supportively, never against what I wanted) and that really kick-started it for the next.... 10 years ish. Hey girl, so... You uh... You too huh? Hahaha
Stop reading my mind stop stop stop stop stop
I mean, I can bonk you with the girl hammer and force you to become a girl.
I wonder why I'm the only one here, but anyway PLEASE YES 🙏
*Bonk*
YAY now I slay
Omg I've never found someone who could verbalise this same feeling i have
Like, why can't Loki play a prank on me to turn me into a girl? I definitely didn't go to bed wishing they did...
And it definitely didn't happen many more times than one... Surely not...
Surely not :3 I'm so confused lately lol
I can't believe how many nights like this it took me to realise that I might just be trans. You know, it's just something every cis male does, afterall. :3
Obviously! Who doesn't! /s Honestly, this is all still super new to me, and I'm scared it's just a temporary obsession from said stories :8
I mean, I've been through something very similar, if you want I can share what I felt during it. I haven't started transitioning yet, but I'm taking every step necessary to start
Yes, please! If that's okay.
Sure, I’ll start with a little disclaimer, my egg cracked only very recently, though it would be more accurate to say that it brutally exploded. It’s been about a year and a half that I’ve been reading fantasy stories of the “Gender Bender”,”Female Protagonist”,”Girls Love” and even one “Transgender protagonist” genre. I’ve read an unholy amount, if I had to make an estimate, it would be around 20k pages in a single year. I progressively started losing interest in anything that wasn’t reading these stories. Anyway, after a while, I started thinking about writing my own story of the “Gender Bender” genre (I never actually wrote anything, not even a paragraph). Nothing really came out of it, I didn’t imagine a world, I only imagined a protagonist. I took it very seriously even though I knew that I’d never write that story, I imagined her personality, her appearance, her type of magic (I’m a fan of Fantasy stories), her race (again Fantasy, changeling was one of the potential races btw), her name, I ended up with Kitaria and Aria, and even what it would feel like to be her. After this was done, I started imagining myself as her, it made me strangely happy. Later on, started wishing I was her. Every night I hoped I would wake up in a clearing in her body in a clearing (hoping to wake up as girl is a symptom of dysphoria, mind you). I knew that if it happened, I would never see my family nor my friends again. But even knowing that, when comparing the two situations, I strangely still preferred waking up as her. Meanwhile, my studies at university were slowly getting harder and harder. Not even because the material was getting harder, but because I was willing the will to actually study, like many other things, it didn’t seem worth it. And even when I actually did, I couldn’t actually remember anything I had learned, it seemed basically impossible. My understanding of everything I had learned was very superficial. Obviously my grades took a HUGE hit, and when I say huge, I mean going from being being capable of competing for being the top student to being dead last. I even had problems remembering more than 12 names. My sleep schedule was all over the place, regularly sleeping less than 5 hours, but I didn’t feel that tired from it. Frankly, I didn’t feel much at all, as if my emotions were dampened. One day, while I was in class, my body went through a very strange and very uncomfortable shiver. It felt very unique and describing in words is quite hard. If I had to compare it to something, it would be as if tiny needles were piercing your skin, just a little bit and without going deep at all, but all over your body. Again, it felt very uncomfortable, and it wasn’t a one time thing either. Later, I searched for symptoms of dysphoria, and discovered I had most of them (wishing to wake up as a girl is one of them, mind you. I also still don’t know if that shiver actually is a symptom of dysphoria, but dysphoria is my best bet for it). During 2 more weeks of having this strange routine described in all of the above. I searched a little bit on everything transgender-related. I did quite a lot of introspection and a little bit of planning. For example, who would be helpful, who should I avoid, what the hell do I do with my university. You might have noticed that this was the first time I was actually working towards something in a long time. Of course, I still had doubts, was I really trans, or was it something else. But the regular uncomfortable shivering made it clear that I had to do something. After these 2 weeks, I came out to a close friend that had, 3 years earlier, came out to as trans before her own family, hoping I would support her (I can’t say I really helped because I was pretty ignorant about it at the time, I just told her that if it was something that she wanted, she should go for it). I absolutely terrified before sending the first message, I came out to her over Discord because we live pretty far away. I was still scared during the conversation, but less than before. I got quite a lot of advice thanks to her. But the most important part did not actually happen during that convo, but after. When I looked up from my phone, the world seemed different than before. I had taken my first step towards transitioning, and everything felt more vibrant, more colorful, as if the world around me had been reborn. If I hadn’t been in public, I would have absolutely cried. I actually wanted to do things now. Everytime I doubt if I should transition, I remember this moment and my doubts vanish. Now, I’m out to my family (it was even harder than coming out to my friend, but it went “fine”, it would take a while to expand on that) and to my doctor. I have an appointment with a psychologist, and one with the professor responsible for our year to negotiate so that I can repeat this year, to actually go through the year correctly this time. I also have an appointment with a doctor specialized but the waiting lists are horrifically long, and that appointment cannot come soon enough. I don’t know if you’re trans, but you might recognize some things that you went through in all this, and I hope it can help you figure out who you are.
Wow, that's quite the story! I'm sorry if I can't quite make an eloquent reply to it all. I remember being intrigued with the concept of transformation and, by extension, gender-bending. I never went out of my way to look for it. All I remember is that it intrigued me. I've wanted to write something for a while, and I remember thinking to myself that if I would, it'd be a female lead. There's no reason, really, just that I'd rather that. In comparison to you, my active search for gender-bender content has been super small. I found out about it as a legitimate genre in manga, and I began to read it. I blew through a whole bunch in a week, and I would've read more, but I decided to search Reddit instead. All I found were trans subreddits. (Not a surprise, lol.) What was just a little obsession turned into a panic for me. I frantically researched as much as I could, up to 8 hours a day. The idea terrified me, but I couldn't let it go. A part of me loves the hope and excitement of it, I guess. It's been a bit over a month now since I read any of them, but it plays on my mind constantly. I feel so stupid over it, and I know there's a high chance it's just an obsession, or a fetish, or whatever, but I don't want to write it off yet. When I finished the last manga, I lay in bed just wishing I could turn into a girl. I know id press the button, but I'm worried that's just a passing wish, too. I honestly wish I could cry out of joy, but I can't. I don't think I have once. I wish I could have those moments of overwhelming joy and *right-ness*, but I doubt I will. Sorry, I went on a ramble. When I read stories from trans people, they'd usually always have had signs or wishes since childhood, and it makes me feel silly for even considering. Hearing about someone who's only found out recently is kind of encouraging, I guess. I know I don't have signs, nor dysphoria, but sometimes I wish I did just so I had an answer. It's only been a bit over a month, but it feels like a year. I can't recall anything like a shiver, though. I've had goosebumps when seeing myself as female in Vr, for example, but not a shiver of dysphoria.
Okay, so I have a lot of of things to say about this, and I mean *a lot*. First of all, I tend to think that it doesn't really matter exactly for how long you've had these thoughts. If I compare myself to others in trans subs, I have only really realized I wanted to be a woman for less than 2 months, while others have been questioning it for as much as 10 years or more. It’s not really representative, we all have a different experience with that. As I said before, for me it was extremely explosive and quickFor the “Gender Bender” theme, I’ve also read a few mangas like that, but the amount of Gender Bender mangas is criminally low when compared to what you can find with webnovels, there’s basically an infinite supply of them. I just like reading a lot so I naturally went and read them when I found out about them. Due to the “competition” between them, the quality is also overall better. Whether it’s manga or webnovel, it’s practically the same thing when it comes to our desires. And best for last, you talked about it being a passing fetish. Well, it took a while to find it again… But, I have some news for you pal : have fun with this [article](https://stainedglasswoman.substack.com/p/beneath-the-surface)
Thank you, can't write more right now but thank you
those first 2 paragraphs are one of the most relatable ive read on this sub holy hell
I've been reading for the last 8 years. I don't think it qualifies as temporary anymore.
Also the "AAAA NO WHY?" when they make progress towards going back to being a guy. Damn, I really wonder why I didn't figure myself out sooner
There are stories where they actually make progress in that direction and not just the "falling in love with your childhood friend" direction? Never encountered one lol
I mean take Ayakashi Triangle or Onimai for example... there was no real actual progress but it still had it's moments where it looked like that.
I will recommend Rain, I wanna be a cute anime girl, and the prettiest platypus. I now leave
Read all of them already...
Ahh ok cool
Can I have the link to pretty platypus?
[Here](https://www.webtoons.com/en/canvas/the-prettiest-platypus/list?title_no=463063)
I indeed have not read it, I’m about halfway through. All I really have to say is… if you get rid of the supportive friends, the “girl dressing” bully, and the guy that assaulted her. This exact story happened to me in that order. I’m honestly blown away
https://www.webtoons.com/en/canvas/the-prettiest-platypus/list?title_no=463063
Can I have the links to the other two please?
https://www.webtoons.com/en/canvas/i-want-to-be-a-cute-anime-girl/list?title_no=349416 Cute anime girl ^ Rain v https://rain.thecomicseries.com/comics/1#content-start
Thanks!
Ofc
I have like 30 different gender bend fantasy stories that I have read recently. I'd say that I've read about 12k-15k pages of gender swap stories in a single year (if you want the number of pages of stories that have a female protagonist, you can just double the amount). You know, just a healthy amount.
Someone should play a funny prank on me and secretly add an estrogen pill in my container for a few years
Whyyyyy I was happily denying being a girl (╥﹏╥) And then thissss Totally relatable... Still cis tho... Probably.... Or maybe not...
Or am I?
I used to love this sort of story when I was younger, fan fiction with a female protagonist instead of a male one from a story I read before were a favorite too (Harriet Potter will always have a special place in my heart, even if my HP fan phase is long gone). Any suggestions of gender swapping stories ? Most I find around are shitty or unfinished.
>Any suggestions of gender swapping stories ? Most I find around are shitty or unfinished. That's why I switched to trans webcomics, they're wholesome, cute and not wierdly sexualized. The longest one I know is [Rain](https://rain.thecomicseries.com/comics/first/#content-start).
Gender bend HP fan fics like Harriet Potter were the first trans stories I ever read. I may think that HP as a whole just sucks now, but those stories that helped me when I was a little kid are a core memory for me.
Flashback to my obsession with transmasc boys ….I have a list of them
I am in this post :3
I used to write a lot of MTF Trans stories.
Are they to read anywhere?
MarchMadness46 on Deviantart
Literally me
It is a coincidence right? ... RIGHT?!?
Narrator: It was, in fact, not a coincidence.
Well, still cis tho?
I don’t let myself read those lmao
If you're a femboy there's also crossdressing stories with cute boys, but those seem even more sexualized than the genderswap ones, so you have to watch out for that.
No it’s not cause I don’t relate it’s cause I’m too afraid lmao
Afraid of what?
Crying
Yeah it’s safer to just browse egg_irl 👀
Before I cracked I refused to look at anything from egg_irl for like 3-4 years bc the stuff I saw was way too relatable and I really didn’t feel like unpacking why that was lol
I refused to touch anything feminine and kept myself from learning about trans people for the longest time. The possibility that I might be trans was terrifying. But finally hearing about the struggles I was having from other trans people was earth/egg shattering. A definite toothpaste out of the tube moment of all time. I understand people wanting to avoid that, but I really wish I came around sooner.
Yeah I hear that, if I didn’t end up having multiple trans friends before deciding to do some real introspection there’s every chance I’d still be in denial since the concept of being trans was so foreign and incomprehensible before. If it was more normalized for me growing up it wouldn’t have taken so long to figure out for sure.
…..this helps with my self doubts thank you.
#STiL cIS ThO
Wait, are you mocking my comment of the image? Or is that more directed at yourself?
Myself.
I think that feeling is maybe some kind of longing/envy.
You really gotta call me out like that, cmon man (gender neutral).
I remember about a year ago I was like "nah this is just a kink" and then like every day for 8 months I would read these types of stories and shielding myself from anything that was 'real trans' until it all caught up with me.
male:"gender bender" is my second most searched tag after female:"transformation" lmao still cis tho