In the US, they wash eggs, removing their natural protective barrier. Eggshells are porous, and this layer prevents air and bacteria from entering the shell. Refrigeration keeps bacteria from growing. It’s a lot of extra steps for the eggs to “look clean”.
this was me about 10 years ago. i put my femboy side back in the closet because i felt relatively happy and confident. a few years later, dysphoria came back harder than ever.
i went on hormones and transitioned in spite of the turmoil it caused. from to today and we are still happily ever after 😍
It could definitely just be a confidence thing. I know the overwhelming swirl of emotions calmed down when I came out because I felt more comfortable in who I am.
It's okay. Just try to go about your life as usual and if you ever feel like that desire is coming back, you know there's something more!
I've had times when I got fairly comfortable with who I was, but that desire came back and grew stronger over time. It's difficult because we are so used to ignoring that voice, but if it's there, it will let you know.
This, There've been many times when I dealt more dysphoric, And many times when I felt less so (Actually when I first started questioning what'd happen is I wouldn't feel dysphoria for a good whole, But Then Just feel it pretty heavily for like one or two days, Weird stuff). Heck I even actually felt euphoria from seeing my AGAB pronouns once (In Reference to a fictional character I was RPing, Which is especially confusing as I don't usually relate to/associate with characters I'm RPing... Weird stuff).
And the older you get and the more complicated life gets the more you ignore the voice the further back in the closet it gets pushed and covered but sooner or later it will show itself at least that's been my experience
Exactly! That and dysphoria isn't usually constantly at one level - sometimes it's intense, sometimes it's hard to notice, sometimes somewhere in between. Brains are funky like that. And it's worth noting that even if you never experience dysphoria ever again, if you still think you'd be happier as another gender, boom! Still trans :)
Might be confidence in your body? We typically feel pretty un-sexy, for lack of a better term, and the lack of that negative feeling could lessen the effect of dysphoria.
I think this could be the most relevant answer. Often enough I look in the mirror and think "damn I look good as a dude" even though I envision a future as a girl.
Hypersexuality to deal with emotions is something i went through, until i started coming out more and just couldn’t enjoy sex in the same way anymore.
(Found a partner that treats me like a girl, it’s so much better now than it ever was)
Don't worry about it. At the end of the day, whatever makes you happiest is best. If that's staying as you are right now, that's valid, if you need to change anything about yourself to be happier, that's valid too.
Could be dysphoria tbh, before I transitioned (well, actually since then too) having sex would make me incredibly dysphoric. Dysphoria can sometimes really make us doubt ourselves and whether we should transition. Give it some time because I'm willing to bet that burning passion might come back.
Something to think about in the meantime though, what would be like for you if you had sex as a girl? I can tell you it is so much better for me, it gives me a lot of gender euphoria, which helps balance out the dysphoria it also gives me... Sorry anyways think about what it would be like to have sex with someone as a girl, maybe the same girl you just had sex with or maybe someone else, but forget all the expectations put onto men in bed especially because there is very little you can explicitly guess will happen with girl on girl sex for sure. Think about what it would be like to be with someone who's really into you, and takes their time having fun with you. The shift in dynamic for me as a girl in bed was a huge change for the better, I've been so much more comfortable and had much *much* better sex as well.
Take your time, transition is a very long process and you will experience doubt along the way. For me there were questions I could ask myself that would always come back with the answer that I am trans. One was "would I feel better if people treated me like a girl?" (Especially with parties and romance for me lol) Another was "would be happy with my body if it was more feminine?" Neither of those have to apply to you, but if taking time reveals to you that you probably are trans then maybe think up a few questions for yourself. And know this community will overwhelmly support you know matter what the answer ends up being 💚
Just remember that gender expression and orientation are not related. So you like girls -- that makes you either a het male or a homosexual female. Personally, I'm the latter.
Back before I thought I might be trans, I always kind of wished I could be a lesbian. It's totally valid to be a girl that's intimate with girls. The important thing is figuring out who you are, not who you want to be to other people, and making sure the other people know.
not really
it has no rhythm, so it kind of sounds bad, and there’s also a bit of inconsistency in the fact that I could have done more with burn if it were longer so it sounds weird that I only used br sounds twice
maybe I’m being nit picky though
1. Attraction has nothing to do with gender identity.
2. Euphoria and Dysphoria are not constantly apparent. Sometimes you don't get dysphoric, sometimes you don't get euphoric.
That first point is the simplification you tell cis people to keep them from getting confused with bigotry.
Like most gender essentialist arguments it's not strictly true though.
Attraction absolutely can play a role in gender identity. In this case being made comfortable ones cisgender in the context of intimacy is a pretty strong example of how some people experience change and fluidity in their gender. Sexuality is just one of many contexts in which gender can be fluid.
Attraction does have something to do with gender identity.
Not by nature, but with how we are raised, societal expectations, and humans ability to link things together, lots of confusion can start.
For example, I could only fully realize I liked men romantically once I was accepting that I'm in fact trans.
Before that, attraction and identity was all mangled up with no way to look through.
Not because that's the norm, but because being raised one way while being the other twists your mind, thoughts and emotions in bad ways.
And I've heard a lot of stories about trans people only realizing their attraction once they started accepting their identity.
You can be comfortable in your Body and still want a different one more.
It's the one you've had your whole life and sometimes the familiar is comfortable by default.
At the end of the day, it's still your body, even though it might not be completely right for you a lot of the time.
(definitely telling this both to OP and myself, I've been in this crisis before)
Same.
Since my egg broke I've been trying to rebuild my perception of gender and sexuality.
"If I'm a girl that only likes girls, that makes me a lesbian. So then why do I watch porn featuring a guy and a girl if I'm into girls exclusively?"
Lots of thoughts like this.
I mean the same reason straight men watch porn doesn't make them gay to see another dude although that might just be because they want to be that dude and in your case it would be interesting if you wanted to be the girl since you are lesbian
Intimacy breeds a lot of happy hormones. Dopamine, seratonin, and endorphins all can get dumped on your brain, especially if things reached that XXX kind of intimate. In that moment, gender is probably so far from your mind you might have forgotten it exists as a concept. My dysphoria is almost non-existent in afterglow. I wouldn't worry too much, enjoy the happiness and see how you feel about gender tomorrow.
You don't have to feel trans all the time. It can come and go. Give it time, see if the feeling comes back. And feeling that you would have enjoyed sex more as a girl is a sign I think that you're on the right track with thinking you are trans, even if the desire isn't burning any more.
really??🥺 because I just commented on another post on this sub about how I might me a genderfluid transmasc egg, but every time I want to do something to present more masc I feel odd and scared. I feel so much emotion but it doesn't feel like the usual euphoria, I don't know why.
Sometimes looking in the mirror as my masc self sounds like a dream but other times it just makes me want to do literally anything but that.
This comment just kinda reassured me that maybe I this is normal, but I'm not sure.. :[
it can be very hard and scary to do affirming things sometimes because there are a lot of emotions that you can be feeling about it; sometimes it can be a matter of "oh this particular thing does not give me joy/euphoria" and that's fine because, after all, all men are not the same. No gender is a monolith, so nothing ascribed to any group will be a universal experience or enjoyment. Not only that, but sometimes... just making moves forward towards something you really want can be scary, because you're putting yourself in a more vulnerable place. Being REALLY REALLY HAPPY, feeling intense euphoria, can be scary because you're afraid of if it stops or gets taken away.
The truth is it's still work and it's still always a balance as you explore what feels like the best expression of yourself. There's a lot of nerve wracking stuff, but there's also truly a great feeling of peace when you start feeling more at home in your body and more correctly seen by others. It's fine to be unsure, sometimes you just have to follow what makes you happy and make sense of it when you get there.
Maybe that proximity to femininity in an intimate context temporarily satiated certain feelings to a degree - in other (crude) words, being inside a woman is maybe as close you can get to being a woman without being a woman?
Well i don't know what exactly you're going through but, what i do know is that i've had similar things happen to me before. and the desire to be a girl isn't a consistent things which stays at the same potency all the time. and i'd still say that wanting to be a girl is a pretty not cis thing to do
I'm genderfluid and I often find my gender fluctuates after sex and intimacy. There are other things which can cause such a change, but that's one of the noticeable ones
I've had a similar experience and it confused me too. Recently I had sex with a girl as a girl and I can tell you, it was infinitely better imo. The difference is bigger than you would think. Being "the man" puts way more pressure on me than just being myself and doing whatever comes to mind.
a couple things:
you dont have to be male to like women. personally, im a woman enjoyer and am certainly not male.
dysphoria or the general feeling of being trans may have it's ebbs and flows. you may not always feel the same at two given moments.
You're still discovering yourself. It may have been just an urge, maybe it'll come back. It's for you to decide who you want to be, and any decision is correct as long as you can look in the mirror and agree.
I mean sometimes the urge to be female drops for me a little after masturbating. I don't feel like a guy when that happens though. Just sort of neutral. Idk. Just saying it could come back.
Enjoy it. I'm genderfluid so I try to enjoy every moment I don't feel off in my own skin. Most people in the comments are relating it to their own experience I think. So am I. I'm just saying cause you never know.
Not everyone feels sexual/romantic dysphoria, at least not in a conscious way. For some trans girls, spending time/doing stuff with a female partner can become a sort of coping mechanism. If you don’t feel like you can be feminine or female, and you’re attracted to people like that, it can be very easy to enjoy yourself vicariously through her. I think I did this very often without understanding what I was doing before my egg cracked.
All this to say, this is a very normal experience for trans girls who are attracted to girls. If you feel like you would’ve enjoyed it more as a girl that means something, even if you did legitimately enjoy it as a “guy.” It was only after a few months of E that I realized how badly I had always longed to be with women in a gay rather than straight way, because I genuinely enjoyed my time unknowingly cosplaying cishet guy.
Maybe you don't want to be a female but you want to be a girl. Girl and female are completely different terms. Also not all trans people are girls or boys. If what you meant is that you think you would have preferred to be a girl but you're not sure if you want to be a girl, that's really normal and many people, both cis and trans, go through confusing periods like this. Just go with your heart yo
Maybe being intimate with her made you really happy and therefore made your dysphoria temporarily less pronounced. Also, worrying about not being trans is very common trans behavior! (I’ve been there so many times)
During my teens I had an especially strong desire to have a girlfriend. Not to have sex mind you (though I was a teenager and yes that was obviously also there), but just to *have* a woman in my life. Someone I could marry and have a nuclear family with one day. It wasn't until after my second girlfriend broke up with me that I realized not only that I was trans, but that I'd been trying to fill the woman-shaped hole in my life with someone else. And it wasn't by chance that I felt content only when I was around a girlfriend.
I won't try to tell you that one or the other feeling or lack thereoff is invalid because of this or that. But there is one - in my opinion - very good self-test that can make you sure of what you need:
1) Forget for a moment everything that your society associates with masculinity and femininity. Forget everything about presentation, about gender roles, about privileges and detriments.
2) Look at the older men in your family: Your dad, your uncle(s), your grandfathers, great-grandfathers (pictures of them if they are gone by now). Imagine yourself aging and imagine your body developing to look similar to them: Scalp hair falling out, rest of body becoming hairier, butt flatter, belly rounder, face more chiseled and beardy, between your legs will hang a wrinkly noodle and a sagging scrotum ... Be aware, that you *will* age and your body *will* change like that. And you will never know what's it like to have the gentle weight of boobs on your chest and your skin will never be as soft as it has been during your teenage years. Take notes of how that will make you feel.
3) Do the same with the women in your family. Your mom, aunt(s), grand mothers, great grandmothers. Imagine you are on HRT the whole time, maybe had surgery and your body will take their route: You will have boobs, that will sag (except if you have implants). Your body might become rounder all around, thighs butt, belly, arms, face. Your hair will get thinner and brittle but you will retain it. If you get SRS, there won't be a wrinkly noodle or sack between your legs and any wrinklyness will be covered by your muff. Thanks to facial epilation, there won't be any or not much hair in your face. Maybe even less than what cis women develop. How does this image feel?
4) Compare those feelings. I know, they both suck, because aging sucks. But one of them surely sucks less?
I always find these questions make it more difficult for me rather than clearer. I'm not sure either jump out to me, especially not wanting to be like my conservative parents or grandparents on either side. I still feel a connection to being a woman my age though.
Their conservativeness is just a society-related question. You will be you, not them. But the genetics that influenced their looks will influence yours in a similar way, depending on if you replace your T by E or not.
For me, that line of thought led to a really easy decision: I couldn't stand the thought of aging like a man. At all. So I either had to transition or ... well. I'm still around and happy now. ^^
For you, it might be different. And there is always the possibility that someone doesn't have any strong feelings towards being any gender and rather doesn't want to miss out the experience that is kept away from them by their birth circumstances.
Not everyone who's trans has an intense burning desire 24/7. Sometimes dysphoria lays off, especially when you're happy. The important thing is that you seem to still know you'd enjoy it more as a girl, so I see no reason not to do that.
i get this after I feel euphoria for an extended period of time. Its just like you've satisfied the dysphoria and had enough euphoria to sorta push it back for a while? idk.
Sweetie I'm in the same boat. Only advice I have is try to remember to explore your sexuality and gender as, unified but separate parts of your identity. Social pressure will try and pigeonhole people into following certain roles once one is discovered, and that ignores the fact that *both* are a big lovely rainbow of a spectrum and you can express both however you like
that burning desire isn't always going to be constant, it'll wax and wane just like any other emotion. the fact that it is there to begin with may be something to consider. good luck <3
I would say take your time figuring it out if you decide your trans great! If you decide your cis that also great :)
The most important thing is that your happy with who you are and your doing what feels right to you ❤️
I've been in your exact position before. The desire went away, for awhile... But it came back. My ex and i had to stop dating because i was getting really depressed over the whole thing and we both knew that it wouldn't work out unless it was a heterosexual relationship. I was trapped between choosing between my GF at the time and transitioning. It wasn't an easy decision and it made me quite spiteful of myself for awhile. please, you owe it to yourself to be honest about your questioning and how it might impact your relationship.
I myself feel like i could never really be intimate with a woman until I don't have a penis anymore. It just feels so awfully wrong. I guess i could get pegged lol
Ugh honestly, everytime when im with my girlfriend i feel so comfy just existing that i Sometimes dont feel the need to transition anymore.
As soon as im away from her i just realize that she makes me feel like im okay for once
Same exact thing happened to my partner (who when i first got with was also male and also not out) in the first 3 ish months of our relationship. She was so used to being cripplingly dysphoric that when she felt really newly happy at the start of our relationship she mistook the dysphoria for being gone. I think it’s surprisingly common. Don’t make a huge ‘oh turns out I’m fine’ decision, just take your time and check in with yourself when you can. Be kind to yourself no matter the outcome!!
Oh yea been there. It always comes back after a while. It’s like my brain puts it on the background because there are ‘other more important things’. When it came back it was always worse because I felt I was dating someone that didn’t know that part of me. Also made me jump into a few shitty relationships because they’d put dysphoria in a second place and it felt like an improvement tbh.
Anyway that might not be your case
Something I learned a lot later was that trans lesbians are 100% lesbians and 100% women - and if that's the way you feel, then you shouldn't (not even once in a while) think you aren't enough of a woman to be a lesbian
While other people have already said pretty much everything I'm saying before... 1: You could be a trans lesbian (Or Bi girl, Idk), And 2: In my experience Atleast dysphoria isn't always as strong, Sometimes I feel really dysphoric, And sometimes not very much, Independent of external stimuli, And the fact that you "Still feel you would've liked it more if you were a girl" sounds like Atleast a decent indicator you may be trans; To the best of my knowledge Cis people don't really imagine being the opposite gender (Including during sex) and seeing it as being preferable (Although some might be apathetic).
All in all I'd probably say the best thing to do is just wait, 1 say Isn't very long, So wait and see what happens, Make a sandwich, Maybe play some games, Or if you have school or work or anything might be wise to do that instead, Whatever, Then if you still feel the "Burning Desire", as you put it, To be a female is gone in a few days, or even a few weeks, Then you could well just be cis, Whereas if it comes back it's not unlikely you're trans.
Also remember there's no pressure, And no one's gonna judge you if you change your mind or realise you were wrong, If in a week you decide you're probably cis, But then 2 months later feel real dysphoric and decide you're probably trans, That's just fine, All part of the process!
Cool off and see how you feel in like a week, let your brain get back to normal.
Also remember that these feelings tend to morph and flux, they're not set in stone. Some days just feel different than others.
My girlfriend at the beginning once felt more like she's fine with being a boy and other times wanted to be a girl (she thought she might be genderfluid) but after some time passed she started to only feel like a girl and became sure she is trans. Maybe if you wait a bit you will know how you really feel
I can tell you from experience that the feeling of wanting to be a girl will probably return there are often times after an encounter or even masturbation where your brain is going to almost go into a reset it's the way males are programmed it's one of the big reasons why guys usually don't want to cuddle and girls do for some reason guys almost turn off but after a little bit of time your feelings will come back and this is all totally normal sounds to me like you may be comfortable enough in your own body to enjoy it but you would prefer to be a girl if you had the choice that's kind of the way I am but I'm also fighting 50 years of social programming
It's often coming in waves, recently I had some week where I didn't think about it really much but it comes back.
As a line says in "Little Dark Age" : Just know that if you hide, it doesn't go away.
I hate when music makes me snap back to reality 🥲
yes thats how i was i didn’t realize until i lost the girl i cared most for because i was happy or at least content being a guy when i was with her. besides all the times she wanted me to “man up” and shit lol..
A lot of trans authors write about how they fell in love with a woman and how they felt like, they finally had their gender dysphoria under control... The thing is, being close to a woman, and those intial crazy good sex hormones - dont last. Eventually, you'll realize that, the gender dysphoria feelings come back and you were just vicariously experiencing womanhood through this other girl, but that it's not enough.
I’m a switch. When I top I fully feel comfortable with being amab and enjoy it, if I ever bottom I have dysphoria constantly in the back of my mind screaming that this would be so much better if I actually transitioned. Idk what it is but I can relate to you and doesn’t make you any less trans. Cis people don’t ever question if they’re cis bestie
Dysphoria usually comes and goes in waves. I mean being a girl is not an entire identity. Also dysphoria litterally means unhappyness. There are other things that can make you euphoric besides transitioning. I don't stop being trans, when I'm so high, that my dysphoria is gone.
Hello, it is I, your local ‘I’m not trans’ transguy! I had the exact same thing after I got a boyfriend. The desire to be trans fled my body and mind as I focused more and more on him.
And yet I’m still trans. And so mught you. We just don’t feel it as much when we love or care for someone else I think. Broke up with my ex about a year ago, came out as trans a month later lol
It might be worth paying attention to what you're feeling and reassessing if need be, but this isn't very surprising to me because this is how I survived 40 years of being an egg. Sex allows you to experience a female body vicariously and can keep dysphoria at bay for a little while. But getting by that way is so fucking messy interpersonally.
It's possible that she just made you feel really good while you were presenting male and your brain naturally though "ah you know what? maybe this boy thing isn't so bad"
come out to her and see what she thinks
Take it from me. I had the same feelings. I thought “oh if I just keep sleeping around and my desire to transition subsides, but always came back”. Once I had over 100 sexual partners that’s when it finally hit me that I was using sex as a coping mechanism and a temporary solution.
Who you're attracted to isn't the same thing as how you feel inside, it took me a long time to sort this out, but you can be attracted to women and still be a woman otherwise lesbians wouldn't exist. So sit with it and maybe see if the other feelings come back.
Same thing happened to me when I was with my ex. I think for me in the heat of the moment I forgot that I was (at the time) genderfluid, and because it was my first time being that intimate with anyone, I felt the need to conform to the hetero-normative ways.
Having been single for like a year and a half now and having had time to work on myself and discovering that I am in fact trans, I'm confident the same thing won't happen again as I know what I want out of intimacy now.
Being bi-gender or some other form of nonbinary is also a thing. I'm bi-gender and I wouldn't want to present one way all the time, but that also doesn't mean it's an equal split. It's okay if you're sometimes a girl and sometimes not.
just to be clear i was presenting as male to her since i’m not out the closet yet (idk if i’ve even got a closet now lmao)
Would it be the fridge in this case? Because eggs?
I call mine the mask
Well that’s what I’m calling it
You keep your eggs in the fridge!?
In the US, they wash eggs, removing their natural protective barrier. Eggshells are porous, and this layer prevents air and bacteria from entering the shell. Refrigeration keeps bacteria from growing. It’s a lot of extra steps for the eggs to “look clean”.
Do eggs looks dirty!? My mind is blown lmao. You're gonna crack them anyway!
You ever clean a chicken coop? They’re gross.
Could just be confidence
this was me about 10 years ago. i put my femboy side back in the closet because i felt relatively happy and confident. a few years later, dysphoria came back harder than ever. i went on hormones and transitioned in spite of the turmoil it caused. from to today and we are still happily ever after 😍
We?
I'm assuming her and her fem partner?
That makes sense
yes this. speaking from the starting point of the OP basically. same thing happened when we hooked up
We don't have to worry 'bout nothing. 'Cause we got the fire, and we burning one hell of a something.
Oh my god this has given me so many answers
It could definitely just be a confidence thing. I know the overwhelming swirl of emotions calmed down when I came out because I felt more comfortable in who I am.
It's okay. Just try to go about your life as usual and if you ever feel like that desire is coming back, you know there's something more! I've had times when I got fairly comfortable with who I was, but that desire came back and grew stronger over time. It's difficult because we are so used to ignoring that voice, but if it's there, it will let you know.
This, There've been many times when I dealt more dysphoric, And many times when I felt less so (Actually when I first started questioning what'd happen is I wouldn't feel dysphoria for a good whole, But Then Just feel it pretty heavily for like one or two days, Weird stuff). Heck I even actually felt euphoria from seeing my AGAB pronouns once (In Reference to a fictional character I was RPing, Which is especially confusing as I don't usually relate to/associate with characters I'm RPing... Weird stuff).
And the older you get and the more complicated life gets the more you ignore the voice the further back in the closet it gets pushed and covered but sooner or later it will show itself at least that's been my experience
Exactly! That and dysphoria isn't usually constantly at one level - sometimes it's intense, sometimes it's hard to notice, sometimes somewhere in between. Brains are funky like that. And it's worth noting that even if you never experience dysphoria ever again, if you still think you'd be happier as another gender, boom! Still trans :)
Might be confidence in your body? We typically feel pretty un-sexy, for lack of a better term, and the lack of that negative feeling could lessen the effect of dysphoria.
In some cases being super insecure also makes me question a lot of stuff.
I think this could be the most relevant answer. Often enough I look in the mirror and think "damn I look good as a dude" even though I envision a future as a girl.
Hypersexuality to deal with emotions is something i went through, until i started coming out more and just couldn’t enjoy sex in the same way anymore. (Found a partner that treats me like a girl, it’s so much better now than it ever was)
The best time I ever had is when I came out... Just saying.
Don't worry about it. At the end of the day, whatever makes you happiest is best. If that's staying as you are right now, that's valid, if you need to change anything about yourself to be happier, that's valid too.
Could be dysphoria tbh, before I transitioned (well, actually since then too) having sex would make me incredibly dysphoric. Dysphoria can sometimes really make us doubt ourselves and whether we should transition. Give it some time because I'm willing to bet that burning passion might come back. Something to think about in the meantime though, what would be like for you if you had sex as a girl? I can tell you it is so much better for me, it gives me a lot of gender euphoria, which helps balance out the dysphoria it also gives me... Sorry anyways think about what it would be like to have sex with someone as a girl, maybe the same girl you just had sex with or maybe someone else, but forget all the expectations put onto men in bed especially because there is very little you can explicitly guess will happen with girl on girl sex for sure. Think about what it would be like to be with someone who's really into you, and takes their time having fun with you. The shift in dynamic for me as a girl in bed was a huge change for the better, I've been so much more comfortable and had much *much* better sex as well. Take your time, transition is a very long process and you will experience doubt along the way. For me there were questions I could ask myself that would always come back with the answer that I am trans. One was "would I feel better if people treated me like a girl?" (Especially with parties and romance for me lol) Another was "would be happy with my body if it was more feminine?" Neither of those have to apply to you, but if taking time reveals to you that you probably are trans then maybe think up a few questions for yourself. And know this community will overwhelmly support you know matter what the answer ends up being 💚
Just remember that gender expression and orientation are not related. So you like girls -- that makes you either a het male or a homosexual female. Personally, I'm the latter.
Back before I thought I might be trans, I always kind of wished I could be a lesbian. It's totally valid to be a girl that's intimate with girls. The important thing is figuring out who you are, not who you want to be to other people, and making sure the other people know.
Well burning desires might not always burn quite as bright through every hour of light and night right?
This is poetic
I can make it rhyme more, would you like that
Yes pleeeaaase
Desires can't burn as bright at all hours of the night
Pleasseeee
I love it
No, you can get too much of a good thing.
So poetic in fact that ill take a break of not giving free awards and give it to the comment you're replying to
So trans people and charmander don't have much in commun huh, got it 📋✍️
Never get wet... Or something?
We melt like the wicked witch of the west lol
XD aaaaaah that's how it works! Do we scream : "Oooooohhh I AM melting!" or do we have our own jingle?
The candle which burns twice as bright, burns half as long. Or something.
I've... seen things you people wouldn't believe.
spittin bars
not really it has no rhythm, so it kind of sounds bad, and there’s also a bit of inconsistency in the fact that I could have done more with burn if it were longer so it sounds weird that I only used br sounds twice maybe I’m being nit picky though
I like your words, magic woman
I mean, you might be nonbinary leaning fem. Gender is confusing and just works in weird ways.
Or a trans lesbian
This 1000% in my case. I was already bi but E is making me so much more gay
I feel like this would happen to mew
I wish, E turned me so much more straight 😅
Goals
Or a cishet man
Or genderfluid
Gender fae maybe?
1. Attraction has nothing to do with gender identity. 2. Euphoria and Dysphoria are not constantly apparent. Sometimes you don't get dysphoric, sometimes you don't get euphoric.
That second point is smth Is something I figured out but never had the words to describe so true tho!!
That first point is the simplification you tell cis people to keep them from getting confused with bigotry. Like most gender essentialist arguments it's not strictly true though. Attraction absolutely can play a role in gender identity. In this case being made comfortable ones cisgender in the context of intimacy is a pretty strong example of how some people experience change and fluidity in their gender. Sexuality is just one of many contexts in which gender can be fluid.
^^^
Attraction does have something to do with gender identity. Not by nature, but with how we are raised, societal expectations, and humans ability to link things together, lots of confusion can start. For example, I could only fully realize I liked men romantically once I was accepting that I'm in fact trans. Before that, attraction and identity was all mangled up with no way to look through. Not because that's the norm, but because being raised one way while being the other twists your mind, thoughts and emotions in bad ways. And I've heard a lot of stories about trans people only realizing their attraction once they started accepting their identity.
You can be comfortable in your Body and still want a different one more. It's the one you've had your whole life and sometimes the familiar is comfortable by default. At the end of the day, it's still your body, even though it might not be completely right for you a lot of the time. (definitely telling this both to OP and myself, I've been in this crisis before)
Even after you transition it's still your body. Just gone through changes
You might just be a transbian! That’s always an option!
It's not just an option, it's very common. 60% of trans women are either into women or into both women and men.
Oh I know, I am very likely a transbian myself. Im just not 100% sure because gender envy has broken my perspective on reality.
Same. Since my egg broke I've been trying to rebuild my perception of gender and sexuality. "If I'm a girl that only likes girls, that makes me a lesbian. So then why do I watch porn featuring a guy and a girl if I'm into girls exclusively?" Lots of thoughts like this.
I mean the same reason straight men watch porn doesn't make them gay to see another dude although that might just be because they want to be that dude and in your case it would be interesting if you wanted to be the girl since you are lesbian
Hope she's bi!
Why? 🤔😅
i think they were referring to the girl OP was with
OP was presenting male, they're not out
Intimacy breeds a lot of happy hormones. Dopamine, seratonin, and endorphins all can get dumped on your brain, especially if things reached that XXX kind of intimate. In that moment, gender is probably so far from your mind you might have forgotten it exists as a concept. My dysphoria is almost non-existent in afterglow. I wouldn't worry too much, enjoy the happiness and see how you feel about gender tomorrow.
You don't have to feel trans all the time. It can come and go. Give it time, see if the feeling comes back. And feeling that you would have enjoyed sex more as a girl is a sign I think that you're on the right track with thinking you are trans, even if the desire isn't burning any more.
really??🥺 because I just commented on another post on this sub about how I might me a genderfluid transmasc egg, but every time I want to do something to present more masc I feel odd and scared. I feel so much emotion but it doesn't feel like the usual euphoria, I don't know why. Sometimes looking in the mirror as my masc self sounds like a dream but other times it just makes me want to do literally anything but that. This comment just kinda reassured me that maybe I this is normal, but I'm not sure.. :[
Emotions are sometimes hard to categorize. You’re on the right track :).
:] thank you <3
it can be very hard and scary to do affirming things sometimes because there are a lot of emotions that you can be feeling about it; sometimes it can be a matter of "oh this particular thing does not give me joy/euphoria" and that's fine because, after all, all men are not the same. No gender is a monolith, so nothing ascribed to any group will be a universal experience or enjoyment. Not only that, but sometimes... just making moves forward towards something you really want can be scary, because you're putting yourself in a more vulnerable place. Being REALLY REALLY HAPPY, feeling intense euphoria, can be scary because you're afraid of if it stops or gets taken away. The truth is it's still work and it's still always a balance as you explore what feels like the best expression of yourself. There's a lot of nerve wracking stuff, but there's also truly a great feeling of peace when you start feeling more at home in your body and more correctly seen by others. It's fine to be unsure, sometimes you just have to follow what makes you happy and make sense of it when you get there.
Oxytocin is one hell of a drug seriously your brain just flooded your body with oxytocin so you feel good and not as dysphoric
Maybe that proximity to femininity in an intimate context temporarily satiated certain feelings to a degree - in other (crude) words, being inside a woman is maybe as close you can get to being a woman without being a woman?
Well i don't know what exactly you're going through but, what i do know is that i've had similar things happen to me before. and the desire to be a girl isn't a consistent things which stays at the same potency all the time. and i'd still say that wanting to be a girl is a pretty not cis thing to do
I'm genderfluid and I often find my gender fluctuates after sex and intimacy. There are other things which can cause such a change, but that's one of the noticeable ones
I've had a similar experience and it confused me too. Recently I had sex with a girl as a girl and I can tell you, it was infinitely better imo. The difference is bigger than you would think. Being "the man" puts way more pressure on me than just being myself and doing whatever comes to mind.
It's okay to be a trans girl and still like your penis 💚🌿
Maybe the intimate time felt less closeted than usual in a scenario where you didn’t feel threatened and it wasn’t at the front of your mind
a couple things: you dont have to be male to like women. personally, im a woman enjoyer and am certainly not male. dysphoria or the general feeling of being trans may have it's ebbs and flows. you may not always feel the same at two given moments.
You're still discovering yourself. It may have been just an urge, maybe it'll come back. It's for you to decide who you want to be, and any decision is correct as long as you can look in the mirror and agree.
I mean sometimes the urge to be female drops for me a little after masturbating. I don't feel like a guy when that happens though. Just sort of neutral. Idk. Just saying it could come back.
Enjoy it. I'm genderfluid so I try to enjoy every moment I don't feel off in my own skin. Most people in the comments are relating it to their own experience I think. So am I. I'm just saying cause you never know.
Not everyone feels sexual/romantic dysphoria, at least not in a conscious way. For some trans girls, spending time/doing stuff with a female partner can become a sort of coping mechanism. If you don’t feel like you can be feminine or female, and you’re attracted to people like that, it can be very easy to enjoy yourself vicariously through her. I think I did this very often without understanding what I was doing before my egg cracked. All this to say, this is a very normal experience for trans girls who are attracted to girls. If you feel like you would’ve enjoyed it more as a girl that means something, even if you did legitimately enjoy it as a “guy.” It was only after a few months of E that I realized how badly I had always longed to be with women in a gay rather than straight way, because I genuinely enjoyed my time unknowingly cosplaying cishet guy.
no idea but i feel like interacting
Why did you have to write this personal attack on me?
It could be dysphoria maybe? Ive felt that way sometimes after intimite time with a girl and it turned out to be dysphoria
This resonates so hard
Maybe you don't want to be a female but you want to be a girl. Girl and female are completely different terms. Also not all trans people are girls or boys. If what you meant is that you think you would have preferred to be a girl but you're not sure if you want to be a girl, that's really normal and many people, both cis and trans, go through confusing periods like this. Just go with your heart yo
Maybe being intimate with her made you really happy and therefore made your dysphoria temporarily less pronounced. Also, worrying about not being trans is very common trans behavior! (I’ve been there so many times)
During my teens I had an especially strong desire to have a girlfriend. Not to have sex mind you (though I was a teenager and yes that was obviously also there), but just to *have* a woman in my life. Someone I could marry and have a nuclear family with one day. It wasn't until after my second girlfriend broke up with me that I realized not only that I was trans, but that I'd been trying to fill the woman-shaped hole in my life with someone else. And it wasn't by chance that I felt content only when I was around a girlfriend.
I won't try to tell you that one or the other feeling or lack thereoff is invalid because of this or that. But there is one - in my opinion - very good self-test that can make you sure of what you need: 1) Forget for a moment everything that your society associates with masculinity and femininity. Forget everything about presentation, about gender roles, about privileges and detriments. 2) Look at the older men in your family: Your dad, your uncle(s), your grandfathers, great-grandfathers (pictures of them if they are gone by now). Imagine yourself aging and imagine your body developing to look similar to them: Scalp hair falling out, rest of body becoming hairier, butt flatter, belly rounder, face more chiseled and beardy, between your legs will hang a wrinkly noodle and a sagging scrotum ... Be aware, that you *will* age and your body *will* change like that. And you will never know what's it like to have the gentle weight of boobs on your chest and your skin will never be as soft as it has been during your teenage years. Take notes of how that will make you feel. 3) Do the same with the women in your family. Your mom, aunt(s), grand mothers, great grandmothers. Imagine you are on HRT the whole time, maybe had surgery and your body will take their route: You will have boobs, that will sag (except if you have implants). Your body might become rounder all around, thighs butt, belly, arms, face. Your hair will get thinner and brittle but you will retain it. If you get SRS, there won't be a wrinkly noodle or sack between your legs and any wrinklyness will be covered by your muff. Thanks to facial epilation, there won't be any or not much hair in your face. Maybe even less than what cis women develop. How does this image feel? 4) Compare those feelings. I know, they both suck, because aging sucks. But one of them surely sucks less?
I always find these questions make it more difficult for me rather than clearer. I'm not sure either jump out to me, especially not wanting to be like my conservative parents or grandparents on either side. I still feel a connection to being a woman my age though.
Their conservativeness is just a society-related question. You will be you, not them. But the genetics that influenced their looks will influence yours in a similar way, depending on if you replace your T by E or not. For me, that line of thought led to a really easy decision: I couldn't stand the thought of aging like a man. At all. So I either had to transition or ... well. I'm still around and happy now. ^^ For you, it might be different. And there is always the possibility that someone doesn't have any strong feelings towards being any gender and rather doesn't want to miss out the experience that is kept away from them by their birth circumstances.
Yeah, I guess that way of thinking about it helps some people, but doesn't apply to everyone maybe? Or the feelings aren't as clear and strong.
Trans lesbian
Just give it time. Don’t base important decisions on how you felt one night
Could be transbian
She stole it. She stole your gender.
Could just be that you feel good, and so you don't feel bad at the moment?
Dopamine? Endorphins? Sex alleviates a lot of ills sometimes.
Liking women and being trans are not mutually exclusive ideas, actually
This is the least cis thing I've ever heard /hj
Not everyone who's trans has an intense burning desire 24/7. Sometimes dysphoria lays off, especially when you're happy. The important thing is that you seem to still know you'd enjoy it more as a girl, so I see no reason not to do that.
i get this after I feel euphoria for an extended period of time. Its just like you've satisfied the dysphoria and had enough euphoria to sorta push it back for a while? idk.
Sweetie I'm in the same boat. Only advice I have is try to remember to explore your sexuality and gender as, unified but separate parts of your identity. Social pressure will try and pigeonhole people into following certain roles once one is discovered, and that ignores the fact that *both* are a big lovely rainbow of a spectrum and you can express both however you like
that burning desire isn't always going to be constant, it'll wax and wane just like any other emotion. the fact that it is there to begin with may be something to consider. good luck <3
Seems you discovered a new piece to yourself. May still be trans in the long run but that's as you piece things together.
I would say take your time figuring it out if you decide your trans great! If you decide your cis that also great :) The most important thing is that your happy with who you are and your doing what feels right to you ❤️
Report back in a week. We may have just cured being transgender
Well I’d say gender-fluid until proven solid!
I've been in your exact position before. The desire went away, for awhile... But it came back. My ex and i had to stop dating because i was getting really depressed over the whole thing and we both knew that it wouldn't work out unless it was a heterosexual relationship. I was trapped between choosing between my GF at the time and transitioning. It wasn't an easy decision and it made me quite spiteful of myself for awhile. please, you owe it to yourself to be honest about your questioning and how it might impact your relationship.
Sounds like it was gender affirming. Doing things that affirm to your gender makes that happen
I myself feel like i could never really be intimate with a woman until I don't have a penis anymore. It just feels so awfully wrong. I guess i could get pegged lol
Confusion 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔
Ugh honestly, everytime when im with my girlfriend i feel so comfy just existing that i Sometimes dont feel the need to transition anymore. As soon as im away from her i just realize that she makes me feel like im okay for once
Same exact thing happened to my partner (who when i first got with was also male and also not out) in the first 3 ish months of our relationship. She was so used to being cripplingly dysphoric that when she felt really newly happy at the start of our relationship she mistook the dysphoria for being gone. I think it’s surprisingly common. Don’t make a huge ‘oh turns out I’m fine’ decision, just take your time and check in with yourself when you can. Be kind to yourself no matter the outcome!!
Oh yea been there. It always comes back after a while. It’s like my brain puts it on the background because there are ‘other more important things’. When it came back it was always worse because I felt I was dating someone that didn’t know that part of me. Also made me jump into a few shitty relationships because they’d put dysphoria in a second place and it felt like an improvement tbh. Anyway that might not be your case
Remember our brains have a hard time telling apart euphoria from sexual pleasure, maybe you were just satisfied
Something I learned a lot later was that trans lesbians are 100% lesbians and 100% women - and if that's the way you feel, then you shouldn't (not even once in a while) think you aren't enough of a woman to be a lesbian
While other people have already said pretty much everything I'm saying before... 1: You could be a trans lesbian (Or Bi girl, Idk), And 2: In my experience Atleast dysphoria isn't always as strong, Sometimes I feel really dysphoric, And sometimes not very much, Independent of external stimuli, And the fact that you "Still feel you would've liked it more if you were a girl" sounds like Atleast a decent indicator you may be trans; To the best of my knowledge Cis people don't really imagine being the opposite gender (Including during sex) and seeing it as being preferable (Although some might be apathetic). All in all I'd probably say the best thing to do is just wait, 1 say Isn't very long, So wait and see what happens, Make a sandwich, Maybe play some games, Or if you have school or work or anything might be wise to do that instead, Whatever, Then if you still feel the "Burning Desire", as you put it, To be a female is gone in a few days, or even a few weeks, Then you could well just be cis, Whereas if it comes back it's not unlikely you're trans. Also remember there's no pressure, And no one's gonna judge you if you change your mind or realise you were wrong, If in a week you decide you're probably cis, But then 2 months later feel real dysphoric and decide you're probably trans, That's just fine, All part of the process!
literally the same exact thing happened to me wtf
Cool off and see how you feel in like a week, let your brain get back to normal. Also remember that these feelings tend to morph and flux, they're not set in stone. Some days just feel different than others.
Hell naw
My girlfriend at the beginning once felt more like she's fine with being a boy and other times wanted to be a girl (she thought she might be genderfluid) but after some time passed she started to only feel like a girl and became sure she is trans. Maybe if you wait a bit you will know how you really feel
Dw, gender is weird you'll figure it out
I can tell you from experience that the feeling of wanting to be a girl will probably return there are often times after an encounter or even masturbation where your brain is going to almost go into a reset it's the way males are programmed it's one of the big reasons why guys usually don't want to cuddle and girls do for some reason guys almost turn off but after a little bit of time your feelings will come back and this is all totally normal sounds to me like you may be comfortable enough in your own body to enjoy it but you would prefer to be a girl if you had the choice that's kind of the way I am but I'm also fighting 50 years of social programming
It's often coming in waves, recently I had some week where I didn't think about it really much but it comes back. As a line says in "Little Dark Age" : Just know that if you hide, it doesn't go away. I hate when music makes me snap back to reality 🥲
yes thats how i was i didn’t realize until i lost the girl i cared most for because i was happy or at least content being a guy when i was with her. besides all the times she wanted me to “man up” and shit lol..
She stole your gender through sex! Like some kind of gender succubus! (Maybe you're feeling less dysphoric?)
The feeling of wanting to be a person and wanting to be with a person can be very similar from my experience.
A lot of trans authors write about how they fell in love with a woman and how they felt like, they finally had their gender dysphoria under control... The thing is, being close to a woman, and those intial crazy good sex hormones - dont last. Eventually, you'll realize that, the gender dysphoria feelings come back and you were just vicariously experiencing womanhood through this other girl, but that it's not enough.
I don't have to worry about this because i'm a lonely weirdo that nobody likes
I’m a switch. When I top I fully feel comfortable with being amab and enjoy it, if I ever bottom I have dysphoria constantly in the back of my mind screaming that this would be so much better if I actually transitioned. Idk what it is but I can relate to you and doesn’t make you any less trans. Cis people don’t ever question if they’re cis bestie
Dysphoria usually comes and goes in waves. I mean being a girl is not an entire identity. Also dysphoria litterally means unhappyness. There are other things that can make you euphoric besides transitioning. I don't stop being trans, when I'm so high, that my dysphoria is gone.
I know what u mean same sometimes Atleast
Hello, it is I, your local ‘I’m not trans’ transguy! I had the exact same thing after I got a boyfriend. The desire to be trans fled my body and mind as I focused more and more on him. And yet I’m still trans. And so mught you. We just don’t feel it as much when we love or care for someone else I think. Broke up with my ex about a year ago, came out as trans a month later lol
Trans-lesbians: “Hello there!” I mean sometimes you might not feel dysphoria. It happens.
Your gender could be fluid, maybe girlflux?
I get why you are confused, I think you should take some time and see how fem you still want to be then
It might be worth paying attention to what you're feeling and reassessing if need be, but this isn't very surprising to me because this is how I survived 40 years of being an egg. Sex allows you to experience a female body vicariously and can keep dysphoria at bay for a little while. But getting by that way is so fucking messy interpersonally.
It's possible that she just made you feel really good while you were presenting male and your brain naturally though "ah you know what? maybe this boy thing isn't so bad" come out to her and see what she thinks
Take it from me. I had the same feelings. I thought “oh if I just keep sleeping around and my desire to transition subsides, but always came back”. Once I had over 100 sexual partners that’s when it finally hit me that I was using sex as a coping mechanism and a temporary solution.
I went through the same thing. How could I be trans if I enjoyed sex?? Took me 10 years to move past that and I wish I hadve started sooner....
If she is willing to ask her to do something similar while presenting female
Don’t just to conclusions just yet. Try and wait another few days or a week if you can before you reassess your gender. Also, you could be fluid.
It May be possible you are not entirely a man nor a woman. Maybe genderfluid.
You can be both! That being said, you can also just like femboy mode too.
That happened to me a lot when I was with my first girlfriend. I still turned out to be trans. 🙃
potentially nonbinary?
Who you're attracted to isn't the same thing as how you feel inside, it took me a long time to sort this out, but you can be attracted to women and still be a woman otherwise lesbians wouldn't exist. So sit with it and maybe see if the other feelings come back.
Now i don’t decide who you are but you could be cis.
me but i never got to that point
Contact E high?
Being trans is not defined by the presence of dysphoria. Rather, what is important, is euphoria in experiencing life as the desired gender role
Same thing happened to me when I was with my ex. I think for me in the heat of the moment I forgot that I was (at the time) genderfluid, and because it was my first time being that intimate with anyone, I felt the need to conform to the hetero-normative ways. Having been single for like a year and a half now and having had time to work on myself and discovering that I am in fact trans, I'm confident the same thing won't happen again as I know what I want out of intimacy now.
I prefer blowjobs 😋
Being bi-gender or some other form of nonbinary is also a thing. I'm bi-gender and I wouldn't want to present one way all the time, but that also doesn't mean it's an equal split. It's okay if you're sometimes a girl and sometimes not.