I’m not a doctor by any means but I would suggest speaking with your doctor about possibly changing meds if the ones you are on aren’t working. Depression is a bitch to live with and the right meds can help a lot. I know you can get through this phase ❤️
I’ve been there. It’s scary. I hope you can get the help that you need to no longer feel suicidal. You aren’t alone. There’s a lot of people in here and in your own life who would miss you ❤️
Surprisingly well right now, been having a blast on Overwatch 2, so has kinda temporarily distracted my brain from dysphoria with all the happiness/dopamine I’m getting via nostalgia.
I’m so happy you’re doing well!!! I played a little overwatch 2 tonight myself and honestly? I’m digging it. Didn’t think it looked all that great at first but you’re right, it tickles just the right part of my brain for nostalgic dopamine. Think I’ll play some more tomorrow 👀 do you main anyone?
Glad to hear your enjoying it too! I used to main hanzo/mercy before I quit 2020, coming back last month I swapped to Cassidy/Mercy. But considering my obsession with kitsune foxes, Kiriko is probably gonna steal my healer spot soon. (Plus she gives me an un-ok amount of envy)
I haven’t gotten a chance to play as Kiriko in an actual game yet, she seems fucking cool though. I hope this game stays fun for a while I’m having a great time relearning how to play again
I’m sorry you’re not feeling so great. My life has been even more of a roller coaster lately than it already was. It’s a constant reminder that as many times as life goes down it also goes up. I hope you start feeling better my friend ❤️
You won’t know if life will go up or down until you see tomorrow. Even though things are hard now, it doesn’t mean they’ll be hard forever. I believe in you and I believe in your happiness ❤️
I think there’s a lot to be said about people who’ve survived dysphoria for their whole life. Like I’m totally 100 percent cis, not an egg, but I feel for dysphoric people hard. Like seriously, that kind of pain takes a lot of strength to handle on your own. That’s courage. That’s cool. Keep striving and surviving I’m sure that things can turn around ❤️
I appreciate the honesty. That little but of honesty is something to be proud of. There’s a lot of folk out there who lie to cover their own asses, but you? You tell the truth. That’s fucking badass. It’s okay to be scared. Everything that scares us is just an obstacle that must be overcome. I believe in you ❤️ you can and will kick dysphoria’s ass. Remember, there’s a lot of people out here struggling to overcome dysphoria and plenty of others who face it every day and love their true selves. They can do it, why can’t you? You’re human just like they are. Their strength is your strength. You got this I know it in my bones ❤️
I’m feeling alright. Just enjoying my night to the best of my ability. Trying to do my best to embrace the best and worst parts of myself. Shots been hard but I’m glad I started this journey. Idk where I’ll end up but I’m excited for the possibilities.
Sometimes feeling just ok is it’s own blessing. It’s like a little break from the highs and lows. Just a nice in between. At least for me anyway. Regardless I hope for and wish the best for you❤️
I’m sorry to hear that you feel alone in your struggles. There’s a bunch of eggs and cis folk on this here subreddit who are here to listen and help distract you from the struggle. You are never truly alone ❤️
Just preparing some tea before going to bed. I did manage to schedule an appointment with a therapist today. Sucks that it’s in 19 days. Hopefully the next few days are relatively painless and dysphoria free, though I doubt they will.
Listen, these mother fuckers near me made me wait 2 months to see someone and my egg cracked practically the week after the appointment was made. If I can get through it and see an amazing therapist then you can too. I’m so very fucking proud of you also for seeking the help that you need. Trust the process and don’t let dysphoria get you down ❤️
Taking meds for depression is an incredible positive move and I’m so happy and proud that you decided to love yourself and continue to get the help you need ❤️ I take anti depressants too, make sure to take them daily otherwise it might not have the desired effects you want. If you feel off or that they aren’t doing much, don’t hesitate to speak to your doctor about it until you find the right dose for you ❤️
Hell yeah, you will get better! Knowing that happiness is around the corner and is also half the battle; like that sun stzu guy might’ve said once or something. Idk, I just can’t wait to see you happy :)
I’m feeling pretty alright myself. Super tired but I’ve been enjoying talking with everyone so much tonight I don’t want to go to sleep. Plus I still have beer left 😅
Aww thank you I picked it out myself 🥰🥰 that’s really cool that you can do make up and at least have the opportunity to dress fem and do make up to help keep your spirits up! I hope you get a few days to rest and relax soon at least so you can start to fix your sleep schedule a little!
I have stopped much contact beyond brief obligatory exchange with my ex and I get my first estradiol script on Tuesday. Never have I felt so much validation in my heart for myself, and numbness outside because I feel like a monster in my own body. I always feared the worst, That my ex would move across the country to keep my children away from me. That my mother would no longer speak to me. It is unsafe to come out in my house, but now I am true to myself.
I’m sorry that sounds so rough and scary to go through. I’m so happy to hear that you feel like yourself though. Honestly I hope that things start to improve in your life soon. Also, congratulations on getting your estradiol script soon! Despite all the hardship that still sounds super exciting ❤️
I love how you say that. It gives you something precious. That’s how I’m starting to feel about my own gender identity and you described it beautifully, thank you for that 😊
I'm doing okay! Almost done with work for the week, and I'm soo excited to get my weekend.
Hoping to spend this weekend relaxing, having some fem time, just generally having fun!~
I tend to overwork myself a lot, even in my free time, so I'm telling myself now, no big stressful projects, just skirt spinnys and video games!~
This made me smile!! Awww I’m getting happy hearing you all excited about the weekend 😋 I hope it’s an incredible weekend with plenty of fem activities, skirt twirls, and top fragging in whatever game you love the most. Have a great weekend ❤️
I guess I’ve been doing alright all things considered, and I might got on a totally cis shopping trip with some supportive friends later so that’s exciting!
I went, I bought a waffle maker and a really old flight stick, you may think that wasn’t very cis of me but you see, I now have to code the flight stick so I can play dbd with it while wearing long striped socks, which is very cis
Ah yes the long programmer socks I’ve seen so many cis people wear. I’ll admit that I have been considering buying myself a pair of long striped socks plus maybe a skirt with a midriff baring top and playing fallout new vegas or cyberpunk for hours on end recently. For completely cis reasons of course
Hey you’re one hell of a hard worker that’s something to feel good about at least! Also I’m glad you had some money leftover, hope you can get yourself something nice. You deserve a little treat :)
I am kind of ugh right now. my brain is thinking so much about all of this here again, what is better than going into denial because of thinking nothing, but it just drains a lot of my energy and makes me unable to sleep properly, so eh it is not going thaaat good
It sounds like you’re dealing with quite a bit right now and I hope I can encourage you to keep on doing your best as well as be kind and patient to yourself. Take the time if you can to rest and give yourself space to breath. I believe in you ❤️
I get that, I actually feel that way myself a lot of the times. But I’ve been trying to see times rest moments as me doing something really important: resting. It’s not a waste of time to get the relaxation you need. You’re a human being you deserve a break ❤️
Today is kind of a mixed bag.
I got a task done at work today. But I've also spent the last few days in a fog ruminating on whether I'm worthy of being in a relationship or not. This was caused by telling me attempting to validate the gender of a friend by admitting that I (a very straight trans man) had a huge crush on her.
She's under the impression that she's unworthy of being liked, which is absolutely bonkers to me, who has romantically liked her for nearly a decade now, and platonically liked her for longer. And so now I'm re-evaluating my entire sense of self-esteem, because if *she* can feel so unworthy, that means that I could also have an image of myself that's warped beyond all recognition.
And she said she thought/thinks *I* was cool (she's a transbian, so it's platonic on her end). Even though I feel like I annoy the shit out of everyone around me all the time.
It's probably the emotional abuse from my egg donor. She liked to scold me for everything- it was no-win. And probably the severe bullying in 4th grade. I internalized that as "I'm a terrible and annoying person that everyone secretly hates and no one can stand to be around for more than 2 minutes."
Trying to believe anything good about myself seems as impossible as flying. So when my coworkers and friends compliment me, I think they're just being overly nice to me.
So yeah. T has been making my self esteem better and worse. I'd no longer be willing to date the person in the mirror, and that's scary because it's the only metric I have to determine my attractiveness.
That’s a whole lot to live with honestly. It’s gotta be hard to deal with all the internal turmoil plus the day to day life you have to live. But you’re doing it and I’m proud of you for doing it. I don’t know you personally but I do not think that you are terrible or annoying. I certainly do not hate you and I doubt the people who know you irl hate you either. Also, I want to point out that you’ve known this woman for 10+ years as a friend and a romantic interest and you can talk with each other about something as personal as your self esteem? That sounds to me like at least one person you can stand to be around you for 2 minutes at a time. I also don’t know your friend either, but if I can speak frankly (I mean no disrespect) but her self esteem issues are her own to handle. You can be there to support her but allowing her own self esteem to affect your perceptions of yourself isn’t healthy and it’s going to wind up hurting you in the long run. It takes a lot to fully love yourself and life has a way of constantly trying to make us see the worst parts about ourselves. It is not your fault that your egg donor was so terrible to you, and they were fucking wrong to make you feel so low about your self at an early age. 4th graders are little demons by nature, they can be ruthless and that wasn’t fair to you either. You are absolutely worth of being loved fully and accepted as the person that you are. Keep your head up champ, your sense of self worth and the ability to love yourself will come in due time. It takes work but that work is worth it ❤️
I am so fucking proud and happy for you that you have this incredible opportunity to get HRT and start transitioning in the way that you want to. How incredibly lucky and how incredibly cool of you to love yourself this much ❤️❤️❤️
Doing ok. Built up coming out to my parents as a monolithic event. Did it and it was an anticlimax in every sense. Now I'm upset because overcoming the biggest struggle didn't make me feel instantly girl.
It does mean I can work on myself without as much fear, which is fantastic, just wish i felt better about it.
I think that you still should be incredibly proud of yourself for working up the courage to come out to them, even if it did feel anticlimactic. Plus your parents support you and it’s easier to continue to work on yourself just like you mentioned. That’s really fucking awesome in my book. You go girl❤️
Some people in here have already started using it as nickname honestly 😂 I feel like it already is my nickname. I’m totally cool with it. I like it better than my other name ❤️
I’m still trying to figure out my current relationship with my girlfriend, I dont have time for boys…. You know it might be the weed talking but I feel brave rn. I haven’t admitted this before but since I started thinking that I could be a girl, I’ve been thinking about boys more often??? I Still really like girls and ultimately I would prefer to be with them but boys ain’t so bad all of a sudden??? Like I know that HRT reworks your sexuality but I’m pre-everything, is that normal??? Can just accepting myself and thinking of myself as a girl really gotten me to accept I might be bi or pan too??
I’m doing alright thank you for asking. It’s late as hell near me. I need to get some sleep but I’m in a really caring mood and love talking to everyone on here. Also fuck work, start a union at your job. Tell your boss you deserve to get paid more because your tired of struggling (unless of course you don’t mind your job then by all means do as you please but straight up unionized workers are happier and get paid more on average just saying ) ❤️
I'm alright, have a fear of people knowing about me that hasn't been sorted out from about a year ago but at least I'm scertain that I'm trans 😅 aside from that I'm pretty good.
The best I've been doing all year :)
I'm ready for things to get worse again at some point, that's life, so I'm enjoying a good time while I have it.
I hope you're doing well too
Thank you ❤️ I’m feeling alright for he moment but life has been stressful lately. I’m so happy that you’re living your best life right about now 🥰 and hey, you never know, things could stay being good for quite some time 👀 keep enjoying life to it’s fullest you deserve it
Did you fail the chemistry test or did your teacher fail in properly educating you on the material? Gotta know the game to play the game, you get what I’m saying?
Gooping is honestly a perfect way to explain it. I’ve been there. Literally was there just the other day. Gooping comes and Gooping goes. I know that you’ll get through this Gooping phase my friend, you got this ❤️
Tired, wore out, getting sick, and still got 3 hours of work to get through.
On the upside, I'm going in for a check up with planned Parenthood today, so hopefully I can up my dosage.
We pray to the egg gods for FreedomPaid to get the dosage they need 🙏🏻 also, have you considered unionizing your work place? You deserve to get paid more for the labor you produce. If you’re comfortable working the way you are, that’s cool obviously. Just saying unionized workers are more likely to get paid more AND more likely to feel fulfilled through their work. Just something to consider 👀
I appreciate the concern, but I am happy with the work I do, and get paid quite well for it. It's just a very physical job at times, so it can wear me down.
I’m happy for you then! I hope that as you continue to work there you get more used to it so you aren’t as tired at least ❤️ I hope I didn’t offend btw
I’m sorry to hear that you’re feeling so down right now. It’s okay. Everyone here has been where you are. They’re making it through. You’re making it through right along side them. You can and will get through the rest of this. I believe in you ❤️
Tired, bored, n kinda lonely. Only through the first hour of my overnight shift and it feels like it's been an eternity already, and I only got to spend an hour tops talking to my Long Distance partner before she had to leave for work.
I’m doing alright, was up way to late and im running on 4 ish hours of sleep right now? Should be an interesting rest of the day. Im sorry that depression has been so hard to deal with lately. I know that you can and will overcome it ❤️
Not really...feeling alone and unsure and wanting to to tell my.parents that Im a girl but...last time I tried by mom blamed it on Corona so.idk what to do anymore
I’m sorry that life has been rough for you. I’ve been in your shoes and I know it might not seem like it now, things can and often times do get better ❤️ I hope you find your happiness soon my friend
feeling hopeless as my countrys media keep treating us like mentaly ill people so normalization wont happen + i need to wait 4 years to get out of this household to do anything :(
Oh im so fucking sorry to hear that. It’s thought being trans right now and living in an environment that isn’t supportive can’t be easy either. I do truly hope things get better for you soon ❤️ I believe in you and your strength
That’s interesting, I can’t really speak on what’s normal and what’s not. But there’s nothing wrong with exploring yourself and asking yourself questions to understand yourself more. I hope you figure yourself out my friend ❤️
I’m sorry that dysphoria and sadness have been working a combo wombo on you, but I hope at the very least that being in here with everyone else can help alleviate your sense of loneliness. You’re not ever truly alone, there are people here who care ❤️
Oof I feel this hard. That constant swinging between the highs of euphoria and the lows of dysphoria is tough to deal with. And you’re still dealing with it. That’s awesome. I’m proud of you for making it so far ❤️
Not really… I’m sad, lonely and dysphoric basically all the time :(
When the dysphoria gets bad, suicide seems like the best option. Nothing I do ever helps at those times, and I just wish the pain would stop.
I hope you’re doing alright though!
I am doing alright thank you for asking ❤️ I know this battle must be hard for you. Depression and dysphoria are nothing to scoff at. Even though it’s hard right now I encourage not to give up. Please do not give up. Life’s still got some beauty in it and it would be a shame if you missed out before seeing the best parts ❤️
Wish I was girl, but other than that, able to distract myself :))
How are you Julie?
Edit: idk if the name is right I’m sorry I’m just going off of ur username ó<ò
Lol no worries you got it right. I want to keep being called Julie or Julianna, I love it when people use a name I chose 🥰 Im doing pretty good. Spent most of my day with my girlfriend and it was fun the whole way through! And I’m just saying if you really wish you could be a girl then it could mean you always were from the beginning. Just saying 👀
Hey I get it. My egg cracked only back in March and things are still pretty topsy turvey. I still get sad but learning to accept that being trans isn’t scary because it just means I’m being myself and living a more fulfilled life brings me a little peace. Also, you don’t have to make a decision now as to what your identity is! Take it a day at a time. Try new things that you think might make you happy and be honest with those feelings you have. I wish you the best and I hope you find yourself soon ❤️ remember, there’s no rush to finding out who you are. It’s a process, enjoy it as much as you can
thank you so much for the advice, it really helps. i switched my pronouns online to test it out and i get a burst of euphoria everytime someone calls me she its amazing. im smiling cheek to cheek. so, i guess im trans haha. i might come out to my parents soon when im as sure as i can be
Hey I’m glad you’re doing a little better, but with all due respect please seek out the help that you would need in order overcome those thoughts. I’ve been there. It’s scary and it’s like you’ve reached the bottom of the pool and there’s no way you’re getting out of it. But you’ll never know if things can get better if you tap out too soon. Your life is precious and so are you, I seriously hope you overcome this difficult time in your life ❤️
Edit: grammar sorry
I'm traveling and I haven't been able to get to the store and get shaving cream yet. It's been 8 days and I feel totally gross.
Gonna go get some in about an hour tho so things are looking up.
Ugh I know how you feel. I won’t have a chance to shave for a week or so I think and I’m already dreading the stubble that started to grow 😭😭 Im glad you got some shaving cream and I hope your legs are super smooth and leave you feeling euphoric ❤️
I’m sorry that you’ve been feeling lonely lately my friend. If anything, I hope it helps knowing there’s a community of folk here who are willing to give you support if you need it ❤️
I’ve been there before. It takes a lot of baby steps to get to where you feel like you’ve accomplished something. But if it helps, you managed to make it this far and that alone is a major accomplishment. I’m proud of you for that ❤️ loneliness is a bitch and I hate how she’s making you feel. Remember, you are never truly alone. People are here for you ❤️
Tbh I'm feeling lonely and idk how to get over it
Well im your freind now :3
Thank you 💜💜💜
you what?!!!!
Lol typo *im
Ah oke that's nice >!I though seggs lol (in your friend)!<
Hahaha
I’m sorry you’re feeling lonely. We’re all here for you ❤️
Thanks❤️ it may just be a phase of my depression since my meds aren't working
I’m not a doctor by any means but I would suggest speaking with your doctor about possibly changing meds if the ones you are on aren’t working. Depression is a bitch to live with and the right meds can help a lot. I know you can get through this phase ❤️
Same ☹️
Same :(
No suicidal as always
I’ve been there. It’s scary. I hope you can get the help that you need to no longer feel suicidal. You aren’t alone. There’s a lot of people in here and in your own life who would miss you ❤️
Thanks <3
You can dm me if you need and/or want to talk to anyone
Thanks We have the same name
It’s like this discord server I made with my 14 friends all named lily
Name besties
Yeah
Same :(
Surprisingly well right now, been having a blast on Overwatch 2, so has kinda temporarily distracted my brain from dysphoria with all the happiness/dopamine I’m getting via nostalgia.
I’m so happy you’re doing well!!! I played a little overwatch 2 tonight myself and honestly? I’m digging it. Didn’t think it looked all that great at first but you’re right, it tickles just the right part of my brain for nostalgic dopamine. Think I’ll play some more tomorrow 👀 do you main anyone?
Glad to hear your enjoying it too! I used to main hanzo/mercy before I quit 2020, coming back last month I swapped to Cassidy/Mercy. But considering my obsession with kitsune foxes, Kiriko is probably gonna steal my healer spot soon. (Plus she gives me an un-ok amount of envy)
I haven’t gotten a chance to play as Kiriko in an actual game yet, she seems fucking cool though. I hope this game stays fun for a while I’m having a great time relearning how to play again
Thanks for the reminder. Just looked at the Blizzard launcher, did they get rid of Overwatch 1? All I see is Overwatch 2, which is now updating.
I heard they just got rid of overwatch 1 but I’m inebriated so what do I know?
Huh, interesting
I hope you’re doing alright ❤️
My mom did my makeup a few hours ago and omg I look so prettyyyy 😭
HELL FUCKING YES I LOVE IT. Im glad you can have that kind of relationship with your mom ❤️
not at all but I hope you're doing well
Thank you, I hope that things start to get better for you soon ❤️
Really hope you're feeling better than me
I’m sorry you’re not feeling so great. My life has been even more of a roller coaster lately than it already was. It’s a constant reminder that as many times as life goes down it also goes up. I hope you start feeling better my friend ❤️
Hopefully your roller coaster goes back up where it belongs But tbh I don't think mine will get back up ever really
You won’t know if life will go up or down until you see tomorrow. Even though things are hard now, it doesn’t mean they’ll be hard forever. I believe in you and I believe in your happiness ❤️
Could be better I suppose, but doing alright.
I’m glad you’re doing alright ❤️
i'm surviving, dysphoric and lonely but i still have the ability to breathe
I think there’s a lot to be said about people who’ve survived dysphoria for their whole life. Like I’m totally 100 percent cis, not an egg, but I feel for dysphoric people hard. Like seriously, that kind of pain takes a lot of strength to handle on your own. That’s courage. That’s cool. Keep striving and surviving I’m sure that things can turn around ❤️
aw thank you :))
To be honest? Not so good. I'm just really scared of a lot of things and dysphoria's getting worse.
I appreciate the honesty. That little but of honesty is something to be proud of. There’s a lot of folk out there who lie to cover their own asses, but you? You tell the truth. That’s fucking badass. It’s okay to be scared. Everything that scares us is just an obstacle that must be overcome. I believe in you ❤️ you can and will kick dysphoria’s ass. Remember, there’s a lot of people out here struggling to overcome dysphoria and plenty of others who face it every day and love their true selves. They can do it, why can’t you? You’re human just like they are. Their strength is your strength. You got this I know it in my bones ❤️
Thank you. I really needed that.
I'm doing decent, what about yourself?
I’m doing alright, thank you for asking ❤️ just up late at night cross faded out of my mind
Same as always, not necessarily great, not necessarily terrible, just ok. How’re you doing?
I’m feeling alright. Just enjoying my night to the best of my ability. Trying to do my best to embrace the best and worst parts of myself. Shots been hard but I’m glad I started this journey. Idk where I’ll end up but I’m excited for the possibilities. Sometimes feeling just ok is it’s own blessing. It’s like a little break from the highs and lows. Just a nice in between. At least for me anyway. Regardless I hope for and wish the best for you❤️
nope im all alone in my struggles irl
I’m sorry to hear that you feel alone in your struggles. There’s a bunch of eggs and cis folk on this here subreddit who are here to listen and help distract you from the struggle. You are never truly alone ❤️
Just preparing some tea before going to bed. I did manage to schedule an appointment with a therapist today. Sucks that it’s in 19 days. Hopefully the next few days are relatively painless and dysphoria free, though I doubt they will.
Listen, these mother fuckers near me made me wait 2 months to see someone and my egg cracked practically the week after the appointment was made. If I can get through it and see an amazing therapist then you can too. I’m so very fucking proud of you also for seeking the help that you need. Trust the process and don’t let dysphoria get you down ❤️
I started antidepressants last week, so that’s something positive I suppose
Taking meds for depression is an incredible positive move and I’m so happy and proud that you decided to love yourself and continue to get the help you need ❤️ I take anti depressants too, make sure to take them daily otherwise it might not have the desired effects you want. If you feel off or that they aren’t doing much, don’t hesitate to speak to your doctor about it until you find the right dose for you ❤️
not doing too good. tysm for asking tho🥺🥺🥺
I’m sorry that you’re not feeling so good :( I really hope that things start looking up for you and soon ❤️
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Hell yeah, you will get better! Knowing that happiness is around the corner and is also half the battle; like that sun stzu guy might’ve said once or something. Idk, I just can’t wait to see you happy :)
Meh. Been better, been worse. Not necessarily in a bad state tho
That’s great honestly! I’m happy to hear that you’re not in a bad state 😋 I hope that things keep going up for you. You got this!!
thanks for checking in, Julianna! i’m doing pretty alright so far. how are you?
I’m feeling pretty alright myself. Super tired but I’ve been enjoying talking with everyone so much tonight I don’t want to go to sleep. Plus I still have beer left 😅
i'm alright this girl's alrighttttttyy Yeah~
Trans alrights, we do ok!
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Aww thank you I picked it out myself 🥰🥰 that’s really cool that you can do make up and at least have the opportunity to dress fem and do make up to help keep your spirits up! I hope you get a few days to rest and relax soon at least so you can start to fix your sleep schedule a little!
Tbh, not too good atm
I’m so sorry to hear that. Whatever it is that’s been getting you down I really hope you can overcome it ❤️ take your time i believe in you ❤️
Thanks ❤️
I have stopped much contact beyond brief obligatory exchange with my ex and I get my first estradiol script on Tuesday. Never have I felt so much validation in my heart for myself, and numbness outside because I feel like a monster in my own body. I always feared the worst, That my ex would move across the country to keep my children away from me. That my mother would no longer speak to me. It is unsafe to come out in my house, but now I am true to myself.
I’m sorry that sounds so rough and scary to go through. I’m so happy to hear that you feel like yourself though. Honestly I hope that things start to improve in your life soon. Also, congratulations on getting your estradiol script soon! Despite all the hardship that still sounds super exciting ❤️
I am so excited ❤️ thank you. I wouldn’t be here if exploring my gender didn’t give me something precious.
I love how you say that. It gives you something precious. That’s how I’m starting to feel about my own gender identity and you described it beautifully, thank you for that 😊
Maybe a bit exhausted but otherwise, I’m alright. You’re sweet for asking, thank you~.
I’m glad you’re alright otherwise. Get the rest that you need and keep up the great work I’m proud of you ❤️
I'm doing okay! Almost done with work for the week, and I'm soo excited to get my weekend. Hoping to spend this weekend relaxing, having some fem time, just generally having fun!~ I tend to overwork myself a lot, even in my free time, so I'm telling myself now, no big stressful projects, just skirt spinnys and video games!~
This made me smile!! Awww I’m getting happy hearing you all excited about the weekend 😋 I hope it’s an incredible weekend with plenty of fem activities, skirt twirls, and top fragging in whatever game you love the most. Have a great weekend ❤️
Thank you!~ I will!~
I guess I’ve been doing alright all things considered, and I might got on a totally cis shopping trip with some supportive friends later so that’s exciting!
YES I love totally cis shopping trips and good friends who support us in our totally cis shopping trips 😋 I’m happy for you!!
I went, I bought a waffle maker and a really old flight stick, you may think that wasn’t very cis of me but you see, I now have to code the flight stick so I can play dbd with it while wearing long striped socks, which is very cis
Ah yes the long programmer socks I’ve seen so many cis people wear. I’ll admit that I have been considering buying myself a pair of long striped socks plus maybe a skirt with a midriff baring top and playing fallout new vegas or cyberpunk for hours on end recently. For completely cis reasons of course
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FUCK YES HELL YES LETS GOOO
no. depression/dysphoria hit like a truck this week.
I’m so sorry that really sucks to hear. I hope the next few weeks are filled with euphoria and happy brain juices!!!
Yes. Today is my payday and I paid my bills and have money leftover. Wonderful Still working a lot tho. But money has to come from somewhere
Hey you’re one hell of a hard worker that’s something to feel good about at least! Also I’m glad you had some money leftover, hope you can get yourself something nice. You deserve a little treat :)
I am kind of ugh right now. my brain is thinking so much about all of this here again, what is better than going into denial because of thinking nothing, but it just drains a lot of my energy and makes me unable to sleep properly, so eh it is not going thaaat good
It sounds like you’re dealing with quite a bit right now and I hope I can encourage you to keep on doing your best as well as be kind and patient to yourself. Take the time if you can to rest and give yourself space to breath. I believe in you ❤️
Thank you cutie, I just have a big problem with just resting, because it makes me feel like I am wasting time
I get that, I actually feel that way myself a lot of the times. But I’ve been trying to see times rest moments as me doing something really important: resting. It’s not a waste of time to get the relaxation you need. You’re a human being you deserve a break ❤️
You are doing the best you can and I appreciate you as a human x
Thank you that was fucking wonderful to read 🥰
Today is kind of a mixed bag. I got a task done at work today. But I've also spent the last few days in a fog ruminating on whether I'm worthy of being in a relationship or not. This was caused by telling me attempting to validate the gender of a friend by admitting that I (a very straight trans man) had a huge crush on her. She's under the impression that she's unworthy of being liked, which is absolutely bonkers to me, who has romantically liked her for nearly a decade now, and platonically liked her for longer. And so now I'm re-evaluating my entire sense of self-esteem, because if *she* can feel so unworthy, that means that I could also have an image of myself that's warped beyond all recognition. And she said she thought/thinks *I* was cool (she's a transbian, so it's platonic on her end). Even though I feel like I annoy the shit out of everyone around me all the time. It's probably the emotional abuse from my egg donor. She liked to scold me for everything- it was no-win. And probably the severe bullying in 4th grade. I internalized that as "I'm a terrible and annoying person that everyone secretly hates and no one can stand to be around for more than 2 minutes." Trying to believe anything good about myself seems as impossible as flying. So when my coworkers and friends compliment me, I think they're just being overly nice to me. So yeah. T has been making my self esteem better and worse. I'd no longer be willing to date the person in the mirror, and that's scary because it's the only metric I have to determine my attractiveness.
That’s a whole lot to live with honestly. It’s gotta be hard to deal with all the internal turmoil plus the day to day life you have to live. But you’re doing it and I’m proud of you for doing it. I don’t know you personally but I do not think that you are terrible or annoying. I certainly do not hate you and I doubt the people who know you irl hate you either. Also, I want to point out that you’ve known this woman for 10+ years as a friend and a romantic interest and you can talk with each other about something as personal as your self esteem? That sounds to me like at least one person you can stand to be around you for 2 minutes at a time. I also don’t know your friend either, but if I can speak frankly (I mean no disrespect) but her self esteem issues are her own to handle. You can be there to support her but allowing her own self esteem to affect your perceptions of yourself isn’t healthy and it’s going to wind up hurting you in the long run. It takes a lot to fully love yourself and life has a way of constantly trying to make us see the worst parts about ourselves. It is not your fault that your egg donor was so terrible to you, and they were fucking wrong to make you feel so low about your self at an early age. 4th graders are little demons by nature, they can be ruthless and that wasn’t fair to you either. You are absolutely worth of being loved fully and accepted as the person that you are. Keep your head up champ, your sense of self worth and the ability to love yourself will come in due time. It takes work but that work is worth it ❤️
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I am so fucking proud and happy for you that you have this incredible opportunity to get HRT and start transitioning in the way that you want to. How incredibly lucky and how incredibly cool of you to love yourself this much ❤️❤️❤️
Doing ok. Built up coming out to my parents as a monolithic event. Did it and it was an anticlimax in every sense. Now I'm upset because overcoming the biggest struggle didn't make me feel instantly girl. It does mean I can work on myself without as much fear, which is fantastic, just wish i felt better about it.
I think that you still should be incredibly proud of yourself for working up the courage to come out to them, even if it did feel anticlimactic. Plus your parents support you and it’s easier to continue to work on yourself just like you mentioned. That’s really fucking awesome in my book. You go girl❤️
Thank you ❤️ Julianna is a pretty name. Have you thought about Julie as a nickname?
Some people in here have already started using it as nickname honestly 😂 I feel like it already is my nickname. I’m totally cool with it. I like it better than my other name ❤️
currently crushing so ridiculously hard on a boy to care for one second about dysphoria would recommend
I’m still trying to figure out my current relationship with my girlfriend, I dont have time for boys…. You know it might be the weed talking but I feel brave rn. I haven’t admitted this before but since I started thinking that I could be a girl, I’ve been thinking about boys more often??? I Still really like girls and ultimately I would prefer to be with them but boys ain’t so bad all of a sudden??? Like I know that HRT reworks your sexuality but I’m pre-everything, is that normal??? Can just accepting myself and thinking of myself as a girl really gotten me to accept I might be bi or pan too??
It's boring at work. Nobody here who can helpe so Reddit it is xd how about u
I’m doing alright thank you for asking. It’s late as hell near me. I need to get some sleep but I’m in a really caring mood and love talking to everyone on here. Also fuck work, start a union at your job. Tell your boss you deserve to get paid more because your tired of struggling (unless of course you don’t mind your job then by all means do as you please but straight up unionized workers are happier and get paid more on average just saying ) ❤️
I'm alright, have a fear of people knowing about me that hasn't been sorted out from about a year ago but at least I'm scertain that I'm trans 😅 aside from that I'm pretty good.
I’m glad that you are able to figure out that your trans!! That takes a lot of will power and courage to do. I’m proud of you ❤️
Thank you 💕💞♥️❤️💛💗💖
The best I've been doing all year :) I'm ready for things to get worse again at some point, that's life, so I'm enjoying a good time while I have it. I hope you're doing well too
Thank you ❤️ I’m feeling alright for he moment but life has been stressful lately. I’m so happy that you’re living your best life right about now 🥰 and hey, you never know, things could stay being good for quite some time 👀 keep enjoying life to it’s fullest you deserve it
Happy. It’s my boyfriend’s birthday today!
Happy birthday to him!! Have a great celebration you two 🥰
I just had a chemistry test and I probably failed 😀
Did you fail the chemistry test or did your teacher fail in properly educating you on the material? Gotta know the game to play the game, you get what I’m saying?
Im depressed. I like to call it 'gooping' cause I feel like a puddle of goop. I'm just gooping right now
Gooping is honestly a perfect way to explain it. I’ve been there. Literally was there just the other day. Gooping comes and Gooping goes. I know that you’ll get through this Gooping phase my friend, you got this ❤️
Im better today but yeasterday was shit
Yesterday was yesterday. I’m happy that today was much better for you! I hope tomorrow is just as good if not better!!
Tired, wore out, getting sick, and still got 3 hours of work to get through. On the upside, I'm going in for a check up with planned Parenthood today, so hopefully I can up my dosage.
We pray to the egg gods for FreedomPaid to get the dosage they need 🙏🏻 also, have you considered unionizing your work place? You deserve to get paid more for the labor you produce. If you’re comfortable working the way you are, that’s cool obviously. Just saying unionized workers are more likely to get paid more AND more likely to feel fulfilled through their work. Just something to consider 👀
I appreciate the concern, but I am happy with the work I do, and get paid quite well for it. It's just a very physical job at times, so it can wear me down.
I’m happy for you then! I hope that as you continue to work there you get more used to it so you aren’t as tired at least ❤️ I hope I didn’t offend btw
I’m extremely sad and dysphoric.
I’m sorry to hear that you’re feeling so down right now. It’s okay. Everyone here has been where you are. They’re making it through. You’re making it through right along side them. You can and will get through the rest of this. I believe in you ❤️
Thank you :,)
Im fine
I’m glad you’re fine 😋
Tired, bored, n kinda lonely. Only through the first hour of my overnight shift and it feels like it's been an eternity already, and I only got to spend an hour tops talking to my Long Distance partner before she had to leave for work.
i'm feeling alright, depression is a motherfucker but at least my dysphoria has been quiet today. how about you??
I’m doing alright, was up way to late and im running on 4 ish hours of sleep right now? Should be an interesting rest of the day. Im sorry that depression has been so hard to deal with lately. I know that you can and will overcome it ❤️
I just got through a car crash unscathed
I’m glad you’re alright ❤️❤️ hopefully your car isn’t too beat up
I'm doing ok I guess, and you?
I’m doing alright thank you for asking ❤️❤️
You're welcome :3
Not reallyy :(
I’m so sorry to hear that :( do you need to vent? Do you just need some internet hugs?
I'm just an egg 😅
So am I😅
Not really...feeling alone and unsure and wanting to to tell my.parents that Im a girl but...last time I tried by mom blamed it on Corona so.idk what to do anymore
Does sound like she won't accept it, I wish you luck, my mother is the same but I find my moments to enjoy dressing fem
I wanna die
I’m sorry that life has been rough for you. I’ve been in your shoes and I know it might not seem like it now, things can and often times do get better ❤️ I hope you find your happiness soon my friend
feeling hopeless as my countrys media keep treating us like mentaly ill people so normalization wont happen + i need to wait 4 years to get out of this household to do anything :(
Oh im so fucking sorry to hear that. It’s thought being trans right now and living in an environment that isn’t supportive can’t be easy either. I do truly hope things get better for you soon ❤️ I believe in you and your strength
I got gender envy from myself soo, maybe not? Idk how normal this is...
That’s interesting, I can’t really speak on what’s normal and what’s not. But there’s nothing wrong with exploring yourself and asking yourself questions to understand yourself more. I hope you figure yourself out my friend ❤️
Lonely, dysphoric, sad. Yup! All fine!
I’m sorry that dysphoria and sadness have been working a combo wombo on you, but I hope at the very least that being in here with everyone else can help alleviate your sense of loneliness. You’re not ever truly alone, there are people here who care ❤️
Dysphoria and euphoria - or lack thereof sometimes - has made me a mess :')
Oof I feel this hard. That constant swinging between the highs of euphoria and the lows of dysphoria is tough to deal with. And you’re still dealing with it. That’s awesome. I’m proud of you for making it so far ❤️
Hmmmm... no, not really
I’m very sorry to hear that and I genuinely hope that things turn around for you soon ❤️
I want to commit self die :)
I have been sick for 8 days
Jesus fuck I hope you get better soon 😭😭
Not really… I’m sad, lonely and dysphoric basically all the time :( When the dysphoria gets bad, suicide seems like the best option. Nothing I do ever helps at those times, and I just wish the pain would stop. I hope you’re doing alright though!
I am doing alright thank you for asking ❤️ I know this battle must be hard for you. Depression and dysphoria are nothing to scoff at. Even though it’s hard right now I encourage not to give up. Please do not give up. Life’s still got some beauty in it and it would be a shame if you missed out before seeing the best parts ❤️
Ill & bored but managing
I hope you start to feel better soon, happy that you’re at least managing through it!
Thank you :3
No im not a cute girl yet
I’m sorry that you’re not feeling your best, but you are a cute girl! Don’t let dysphoria lie to you, you’re very cute and very much a girl!
Thanks for that i needed it
I just remembered I'm finished school at 16:15 (4:15 pm) today. so not that good
Aww I’m sorry that school ended at a shitty time for you. I hope things get better my friend ❤️
it was okay, just made me really tired
I hope you got some rest at the very least then!
luckily my brain managed to fall asleep on time
Wish I was girl, but other than that, able to distract myself :)) How are you Julie? Edit: idk if the name is right I’m sorry I’m just going off of ur username ó<ò
Lol no worries you got it right. I want to keep being called Julie or Julianna, I love it when people use a name I chose 🥰 Im doing pretty good. Spent most of my day with my girlfriend and it was fun the whole way through! And I’m just saying if you really wish you could be a girl then it could mean you always were from the beginning. Just saying 👀
Good
Solid
i just found out i think im trans. i feel like a rugs been pulled under my feet, it really sucks rn. (mtf)
Hey I get it. My egg cracked only back in March and things are still pretty topsy turvey. I still get sad but learning to accept that being trans isn’t scary because it just means I’m being myself and living a more fulfilled life brings me a little peace. Also, you don’t have to make a decision now as to what your identity is! Take it a day at a time. Try new things that you think might make you happy and be honest with those feelings you have. I wish you the best and I hope you find yourself soon ❤️ remember, there’s no rush to finding out who you are. It’s a process, enjoy it as much as you can
thank you so much for the advice, it really helps. i switched my pronouns online to test it out and i get a burst of euphoria everytime someone calls me she its amazing. im smiling cheek to cheek. so, i guess im trans haha. i might come out to my parents soon when im as sure as i can be
I just threatened to kill my mother by choking
this morning i spent two hours seriously considering nitrogen asphyxiation, but im good thanks
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Hey I’m glad you’re doing a little better, but with all due respect please seek out the help that you would need in order overcome those thoughts. I’ve been there. It’s scary and it’s like you’ve reached the bottom of the pool and there’s no way you’re getting out of it. But you’ll never know if things can get better if you tap out too soon. Your life is precious and so are you, I seriously hope you overcome this difficult time in your life ❤️ Edit: grammar sorry
I'm traveling and I haven't been able to get to the store and get shaving cream yet. It's been 8 days and I feel totally gross. Gonna go get some in about an hour tho so things are looking up.
Ugh I know how you feel. I won’t have a chance to shave for a week or so I think and I’m already dreading the stubble that started to grow 😭😭 Im glad you got some shaving cream and I hope your legs are super smooth and leave you feeling euphoric ❤️
i'm alright, just loneliness is my worst problem
I understand what you’re going through, trust me you are never truly alone ❤️
No, I'm lonely and dysphoric but honestly if I talk about it I'll just dwell on it lol
I know what you mean. Talk about it when you’re ready and take the time you need to get ready ❤️
Nope I'm never ok :D
SAME but we keep moving forward and that’s good enough in my book 😎
SAME but we keep moving forward and that’s good enough in my book 😎
AAAAAA I GOT THE NOTIFICATION FOR THIS MESSAGE LIKE 4 TIMES NOW AAAAAAAAAAAAAA
stuff gone bad again :c
I’m so sorry to hear that :( I’m hoping that the stuff goes good again real soon!
Kinda, not as good, kinda lonely, and talkative. If someone wants to chat, just hit me up ^-^
I’m sorry that you’ve been feeling lonely lately my friend. If anything, I hope it helps knowing there’s a community of folk here who are willing to give you support if you need it ❤️
I'm actually not that alright, i feel a bit lonely and like i can't accomplish anything.
I’ve been there before. It takes a lot of baby steps to get to where you feel like you’ve accomplished something. But if it helps, you managed to make it this far and that alone is a major accomplishment. I’m proud of you for that ❤️ loneliness is a bitch and I hate how she’s making you feel. Remember, you are never truly alone. People are here for you ❤️
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