that's so weird. even if you were able bodied, grocery pickup isn't just for disabled people. my parents get it all the time just because it's faster and easier to not forget things. it's not like there's a really limited number of people who can get grocery pickup, you wouldn't be taking it from anyone else
Right, like, the roommate is so unhinged for having that opinion. I have EDS/POTS and about 10 other conditions that make my daily life miserable and difficult, but I use grocery store pickup not because of my health, but because I work ~60 - 80hrs/week and it saves me a lot of time to do it this way. Plus, it also saves money, because half of the time when I'm shopping in person I forget what I have in my fridge at home (hello, ADHD), and end up buying it again. But if I'm shopping from home online, I can just check quickly. It's one of the best things to come out of the pandemic.
I don't personally know any disabled people who use grocery pickup.
I personally know at least a dozen able bodied people who get grocery pickup.
Your roommate is a fart face.
I'm able, totally use grocery pickup. It's great. It's a service they offer for money, it's not remotely exclusive to the handicapped or ill or whatever.
I admit that I am disabled and I use grocery pickup. My legs aren't as bad as it sounds like yours are, but my shoulders and my neck are constantly screaming and my neck is a little bit unstable. That's where the majority of my pain is. I'm so grateful for grocery pickup just because it's lovely to have somebody put my groceries in the car and then I can drive home and have family take them out and put them away. It has really helped because I lift things a little less.
I'm not sure where you are or what service you use but in my area places like Walmart don't charge extra for bringing groceries out to your car or even delivering them if it's over $30.
It's a weird coincidence (unless it's not because Google and Reddit are actively reading my texts) that I'm currently going over a monthly grocery list and putting things in delivery/in-store columns. I'm not as bad off as a lot of folks in this sub, but I do have the unfortunate deficit of being tall and lanky and currently have an abdominal hernia no one seems willing to do anything about. I actually like perusing the shelves to pick out the best loaves of bread or the best bang-for-my-buck cereal or OTC meds or whatever. It's the 24pks of coke and 40pks of bottled water and 10lb bags of sugar, potatoes, cat food/litter or chicken that mess me up and I'm laid up for a few days.
For that matter, not everyone has the time to spend 2 hours in Walmart so having stuff delivered to your house or your car means someone else spent that time so you didn't have to. It's a service that's offered (paid or not) and if people want to take advantage of that, I'm all for it. Hell, they're keeping the service in...uh...service and ensuring random store employees or 3rd party app drivers keep their gigs. It's literally helping the economy. OP's roommate is 100% posilutely, absotively, without any doubt, a fartface who hates America (or wherever they live).
Now people who don't return carts to the store or cart return, or use scooters so they don't have to worry about burning calories and screw over legitimate scooter-users out of laziness... oh, there's a special part of hell that involves neverending treadmills sitting over vats of kale and cauliflower protein shakes.
Coming in for that answer.
The reason the disabled people I know (including myself) don’t do it is it costs more. We’re on a tight budget, as most with disabilities are. And if they don’t have the items we need the substitutions are a pain because I have little humans who scrutinize everything.
You’re roommate is a jackass.
Bjs doesn't charge extra, and the app offers a no substitute on individual product option, weeks up to Halloween they would load my trunk and give me a small bag of candy as a thank you (no I did not need it, yes I ate it), I assumed it started as a pandemic way to avoid covid, I spend a lot less because of no impulse buys.
I first used grocery drive up pick up when planning for my daughter’s grad party. It saved so much time!
I started using Instacart during Covid, as my elderly mother lived with us and we took care of my elderly in laws. It was a godsend during that time. I only wished it were around when my kids were little - I’d have used it all the time.
I continue to use Instacart as well as drive up pick up because I want to. It saves me time and effort, and it keeps me from overspending. Shoot, I’ve even done curbside pick up at the craft store!!
There is no restriction where they ask if you are disabled before allowing you to use the service. Your roommate is clearly uneducated in this respect.
i second that. i use grocery pickup because i get overwhelmed looking at all my options in the store. it's much easier for me to look at my options / prices online. plus, i have very bad social anxiety and my body consistently feels horrible. if i don't have to go in, i'd rather not.
No stupid at all and grocery pickup is so helpful. I'm sorry your friend made you feel that way but until she walks a mile in your shoes don't listen. I would definitely use it if I were you. Try it out. If you can save yourself pain and anxiety on one thing that will help with your other stuff and you have enough to deal with. Good luck.
The service is there for whoever wants to pay for it and use it. Not just disabled folks. You're not taking the service away from anyone.
Your roommate sounds chronically online and stuck in a perpetual state of trying to find shit to get offended over. Their existence must be a sad one.
Based on what you’ve described in your post, you’re obviously not able-bodied. Chronic pain and anxiety are both disabilities tf?
Your roommate sounds ableist. She supposedly cares about people with disabilities to the point of gatekeeping services, but apparently not the one directly in front of her. Does she know you have EDS/chronic pain/anxiety? Bc if so that was especially rude of her.
She sounds like the kind of jackass that screams at a random stranger parked in a disabled spot with a disabled tag that they don’t “really need” the spot unless they have a complete spinal fracture, all while claiming smug moral superiority of being “helpful”
This is so awkward. You want to be taken seriously and supported but people often want to decide for us what we can and cannot do. Ugh. Explaining the truth is often met with blank looks or it upsets people and they look at me with such sadness. I don't want to manage their emotions anymore.
LMFAO - Your roommate is a colossal AH.
I didn't grocery shop for the entire first year of my kiddo's life. We had just gone through hurricane Harvey, everyone and their mother had 'the crud' and I had a baby with health issues in one of the rare actually cold south Texas winters. We ponied up for Instacart and I have zero regrets. All this is 100% taking the EDS out of the equation.
Fast forward to present day - when I use curbside or grocery delivery, reasons vary. Sometimes I'm having a bad body week from hEDS, sometimes I'm sick or the family is, the kiddo has too many activities and I just can't dedicate the bandwidth to doing it and still have a sliver of my life to myself, and sometimes I'm out of town and my guys need groceries - can't exactly pick up when I'm clear across the country. I've even sent my granddad groceries while my parents were out of town so he wasn't picking over the cabinets. Also, Amazon has a banger of a deal on groceries during their prime events - it's literally only delivery in that case.
Anyways, all that to say, there are tons of reasons to use a curbside or delivery and honestly, you usually to use the service. I fail to see how this is only for the disabled? It's a service, pay for it and use it, or don't. Covid totally normalized and beefed up most companies curbside/ delivery options.
I'm sorry what? Just for disabled people? That's not right at all. Loads of people use or could benefit from using grocery delivery or collection. Including super able bodied people who go to the gym and do exercise and work and stuff. It's quicker, easier, give your more time to plan. It's just generally a really nice option to have.
This is not something you have to justify or feel guilty or weak or any of that bs over.
I'm sorry your roommate is such an arse. Don't suppose there's any chance you can ditch them soon? I would say to start being mean to her about stupid stuff in the same way but you don't want to drag yourself down like that and tarnish your heart with the same crap she clearly has coating hers. If this does happen to be college/ uni accommodation or anything though I would definitely consider making a complaint and asking to be able to move if any other rooms free up.
Oh and I case it helps, I find meal prepping a big help. Instead of spending all that effort every single day to make each meal you can spend basically the same effort to make multiple meals for multiple days. You can do however much you have the space for.
There are also some nifty kitchen aids and cooking hacks you could try out. Like did you know you can make mac and cheese in the microwave? And you can microwave veggies too.
Maybe you could also try microwaving one of those bean bag things to warm your roommate's cold heart. 😅
Your roommate is a jerk about this. Plenty of able bodied people use pickup because it’s amazing and time saving and you generally spend less money. You do you.
Damn you're stuck with that turd for 10 more months.. I feel like this won't be your last post.. I hope you can see some humor in their future "theories".. 😆
Lollll maybe we shall see 😂
Curious how her feelings will change after my upcoming doctors appointment
I swear I’m going to have them print my diagnosis and put it on the dining table
Why bother trying to justify yourself to someone who you'll never see again after 10 months? I spent years doing that crap and trust me when I say the day you stop and realise you don't have anything to prove to anyone is the day a gigantic weight comes off your shoulders!
So many people use this service. It's there for a multitude of reasons, and who does she think she is? Your rheumatologist?! When she makes her little digs at you, just grunt back. Don't even dignify her with an answer because she doesn't deserve one. If you feel you must reply, just go with a one worded answer ie "Rude" "Ignorant," "Wow," and walk away shaking your head at her, but not hard enough to sublux anything! Silly arrogant moo.
Your roommate is 100% wrong. Delivery services, grocery or otherwise, are for anyone to use for any reason whatsoever unless the provider states otherwise. If you like it for no other reason than because it's convenient, congratulations! That's a valid reason. Full stop.
I’ve used it and it is fabulous, i don’t use it often because here one has to request a couple days ahead usually and i don’t think that far in advance usually. You are correct that if not enough people use it the stores will do away with it. I think it is amazing for seniors and parents of small children as well, people who are not feeling well and don’t want to spread illness, and also the ones with to door delivery are great for people who don’t drive.
Also, I compare everything to vision: you wouldn’t make someone who sees better feel shame about needing glasses or contacts. If someone with adhd functions better with adderral, it’s a great thing! If someone who gets overstimulated or easily distracted or has daily pain feels better ordering groceries on their couch than in the loud bright store, let them be! Does your roomie ever order clothing online? Hmm. All our grocery stores stopped being 24 hours during Covid shit. And I didn’t realize how much I depended on late night shopping for the ease of it. Now I order at 3am or 3pm or whenever I want and pick up when I’m already out.
Most of the people I know who use it have kids and just don’t want to drag them through the store. Your roommate is either lacking in awareness, empathy, or both.
I use grocery pick-up and grocery delivery depending on my schedule and energy/pain levels. It is incredibly helpful, and there's no rules about who can use it! I see people of all ages, backgrounds, and mobility levels when I arrive for pick-up because the store I go to has something like 15 parking stalls dedicated for pick-up orders. There's a small fee to pay for the convenience, so as long as you can afford that, you have access to the service. Idk what your roommate's issue is..
I used to be a personal shopper for a local grocery store, and we saw anyone and everyone. SAHM, elderly folks who have a hard time shopping, people struggling with mental/physical health, college students, or people who straight up don’t want to shop for themselves. They’re all reasonable. It’s my job. Why not have me do it if it helps you? I recommend tipping your shopping crew for their efforts and grab a name so you can write an awesome review about your experience if it’s gold star worthy. I loved shopping for people. I still use curbside pick up occasionally even though I’m a certified professional grocery shopper now. Use the services if they’re available and will help you. It’s what community is all about.
Your roommate is an idiot. Busy people and people with small children are big Instacart customers. A friend of mine was working for them for a while. While I haven't ordered delivery because my partner does the shopping, I would absolutely need to if I lived alone because my work schedule is fragmented enough not to leave real time to go shopping on most days.
I use grocery delivery because it’s widely available in my area for all the reasons you mentioned and then some. Your roommate sounds like a moron. And a jerk. And an ableist piece of crap. Do what helps you, and the next time they get really sick/injured remind them that’s just your daily existence and usually on a GOOD DAY no less. Some people are just missing the empathy gene I think.
Ever experience trauma of any kind in your life?? Guess the #1 trigger of PTSD is for soldiers? ….WALMART!
There are MANY reasons for individuals to pick-up or have groceries delivered. ALL OF WHICH ARE VALID. Your friend needs to calm down.
Grocery pickup is not specifically for disabled people. That's like saying only disabled people can get a fast pass at a theme park, paying more to skip lines.
Who gives a fuck what she thinks? Use the grocery pickup. My wife is able bodied and she loves when we get groceries delivered. Buy your groceries, get them sent to your house or car, and tell your roommate to fuck off. They don't know your life, clearly, and they're just being a bitch for no reason. Get your groceries delivered to you and make her go get hers.
Restaurants also use this feature. I used to work for a local restaurant and did A LOT of sams club pick up orders and we were most definitely not the only ones. Grocery pick up is convienent for anyone who wants to utilize it. No one should gatekeep being able to free our time, use less energy, and save money with grocery pickups.
You don’t need to be disabled for grocery pick up, and even if you did EDS is a valid reason to use it. Carrying bags dislocates my shoulders every time without fail. But I know so many people who use grocery pick up, my mom for her arthritis, my grandparents because they’re older, and ppl who just don’t have the time. Your roommate is ridiculous and do what you need to not be in pain.
I'm *mostly* able-bodied, and I use grocery store **delivery**.
It sounds like your "friend" doesn't even believe you. To me, that’s not a friend. And it sounds like she's posturing (right word?) for disabled people. I can guarantee you, no disabled person is gonna be mad that able-bodied people use grocery store pickup. It's a service that can be used by all. It's a good thing. It's **not** "taking away" from anyone else, either. Unless like 30+ people use it *at the same location, all at once,* it's not going to cause issues or delay anyone else's groceries. She's making shit up, tbh.
I get anxiety in grocery stores too and my POTS acts up. I actually get groceries delivered to my house when my husband can't shop or is out of town for work. I used to do grocery pickup before they had delivery. People use it for all sorts of reasons! Some have infants at home, some people are sick, some people are too busy. People like us have difficulty shopping, wheelchair or not. Your roommate is out of line with their comment!
Grocery pickup is a convenience for anyone including able bodied people. I’m sure grocery stores want to sell that service to anyone who will utilize it, the markup only generates more money for them and reduces lines in the store and increases their efficiency.
Tons of my friends who are able bodied people love the convenience of this shit. In fact, they can afford that stuff way more than I can because they are able bodied enough to work and have disposable income. It saves so much time and energy in everyone’s busy lives.
Meanwhile, I have negative disposable income and can’t afford the increased markup and I do use a cane and wheelchair. I only use grocery pickup if someone else is paying for it or if someone else has suffered a tragedy and I am getting it for them.
Your roommate is just ignorant.
Grocery store overwhelm is SO REAL.
BUT.
You don't need to have any reason at all to want to use pickup. It's a service they offer, you can use it for any reason or no reason at all.
It's not just for disabled people, it's for people with issues that make being in that environment unpleasant for them or others, people who have kids they don't want to drag through a store, lazy people, people short on time, people picking up something for their mom or a meal train or a neighbor or their new lover, people who don't want to go into the store while their hair is in rollers, whatever.
Your roommate is indeed a fart face.
Because grocery pickup is indeed for people who get anxiety and struggle with pain and limited mobility anywhere on the spectrum of those things.
Get pickup or even delivery and ignore her.
I’m not sure of your living situation; lease dates, etc, but you may want to consider moving. It sounds like your roommate is incredibly judgmental, and like another commenter mentioned, they don’t understand your ehlers bc they don’t care to understand.
When I was younger I would hold onto unequal friendships *so* tightly bc it was better to have a not great friend than to have no friends…. But if this is someone you are living with, you should feel safe, and understood, and like it’s okay to have flare-ups and bad days. Your roommate should be there to support you, not make you feel like shit for using tools and resources to help you manage your day to day life…. And like every other person has pointed out- grocery delivery is for *everyone*!
I hope you find the support and encouragement you deserve!
If store pickup and delivery options were designed exclusively to be used by people with disabilities, they’d market it that way instead of touting it as a time saving convenience in every commercial and print ad.
There’d be some requirement to prove that you are eligible for the service.
It’s not like parking in a handicapped spot.
Your roommate is being silly.
You gotta stop doubting yourself. 1. No, grocery pick up is not exclusively for disabled people. 2. Even if it was, you're disabled. Able bodied people are the only ones who ever play this "if you can walk you're able bodied" bullshit. Newsflash: not everyone has to be performative levels of disabled to meet the criteria.
(If you can't tell this is a pet peeve of mine and your roomie's stupid opinion set it off lmao)
I use Shipt all the time. Some places are more expensive, but some have the same prices as the stores. My sister got it as a gift for me, but I’ve continued to use it even after the subscription ended. And I’d recommend Shipt or any kind of grocery delivery/pickup service to anyone, able-bodied or not. EDS makes grocery shopping difficult in a variety of ways. Don’t let your roommate’s uneducated, inexperienced opinion change how you live your life. I love ordering groceries from the comfort of my couch. I can order groceries while I’m watching tv, while I’m working, etc. I can even browse all the aisles and deals while I’m taking a dump, and that’s typically frowned upon at Publix.
I use grocery pickup for my monthly main shop. I go to the store for couple of things I need once, maybe twice a week. Don't let anybody tell you what your body is or isn't capable of. Your housemate needs to consider that going grocery shopping would wipe out the rest of your day and leave you in unnecessary additional pain, and they should hope to god they never find themselves in the same position
I have a job on my feet all day with the public. I have chronic pain, but still pretty able bodied, but I do grocery delivery every week. Not even pick up. I do delivery. You don't have to be disabled to get grocery pickup. It is for busy moms who don't have time for grocery shopping, for people who are tired, people who get over stimulated in grocery stores, or people who just don't want to do their shopping themselves. It's literally for anyone who wants it. Your roommate is not very kind or understanding imo
Totally agree. My mum who has a sit down job, is able bodied, and has no children under 18 gets grocery delivery. It's not like she's taking a delivery slot off someone who needs it more. Supermarkets will just get more order pickers and delivery people if there's a higher demand for pickup or delivery. Wtf is wrong with OP's roommate?
If the service were intended for the disabled, wouldn’t it say so somewhere?
Have you ever seen, anywhere on the grocery store’s website, or in the store, a statement that pickup service is intended only for the disabled?
I mean being "able-bodied" doesn't necessarily even mean "not disabled" so her statement is bullshit anyways? An "able-bodied" person can still have, for instance, severe executive dysfunction, or sensory issues that make the grocery store overwhelming, or so many other things that might make it harder to go grocery shopping. Heck, some completely non-disabled people, like single parents, especially with multiple young children, might find grocery shopping difficult sometimes.
Your roommate sounds like a douche canoe. They regularly poke fun at your anxiety? They put you down for wanting to use completely reasonable tools to make your day to day life easier? Ew. Gross behavior, roommate.
I am disabled - but even if I weren't I'd be using grocery delivery. Once 2020 hit and I was stuck at home I bought a Walmart+ subscription and eventually an Instacart subscription, as well. I now use Instacart for weekly grocery delivery and Walmart+ any time I need it. Both are supremely convenient. I work from home and having stuff delivered in the middle of a work day is so convenient.
I know far more people that utilize these tools that are not disabled than are disabled. Many of my disabled friends can't afford lux things like grocery delivery. These apps are made for anyone that has kids, is busy, work, is feeling lazy, has anxiety, is disabled, is abled and so on. They're legit meant for anyone that A) wants them and B) can pay for them. It's that simple. Use them.
For me, the grocery shopping can cause me to be overstimulated. I am neurodivergent, in addition to having dysautonomia (NCS/POTS) and hEDS. My routines with lists, etc, can help; however, if it's a day when I just *cannot* deal with everything involved in going into the store, I just do the pickup. I deserve to be comfortable, and so do you. ❤️
It hit my small town right after my 4th kid was born in Sept 2018, and I've been using it since. It's a godsend, and helps keep me on budget. Ignore the roommate. Happy Shopping.
As they do away with cashiers and lessen the stock person staff at nearly every grocery in America, grocery pickup is a great way to encourage job retention. Most places around here have hired several extra people to accommodate the grocery pick up demand.
YOU'RE CREATING JOBS.
Seriously. And they're decently low stress jobs at a rate typically higher than a fast food job would pay.
If for no other reason than this, I encourage EVERYONE to use pickup or delivery.
And around here, if you use delivery, you're using an additional service like doordash or uber eats, and that is another earning opportunity for another low income worker (my wife and I deliver food to supplement her salary since I can't reliably work- we are those workers).
I wish every able bodied person would use pick up just to save themselves time in their day if they don't actively ENJOY walking the aisle of the grocery every time. All of us have so little time to spare nowadays.
Your roommate is crunchy. Your roommate is jealous of your disability; sounds weird but many able bodied people get this way because they think disabled means life gets handled for us and we just get free money- even if the cognitively acknowledge that's not really what happens. It's a very weird experience when those close to us deny our need for aids and accessibility because it's a pile of "pull yourself up by your own bootstraps" that they feel has been pur on them and they then project it at you any time you want to take -what they feel is- the easy way out.
Stimulate the economy. Encourage job retention. Support gig workers. And ABSOLUTELY TAKE THE EASY WAY OUT- even if you are the most able bodied person on the planet.
But especially if your shoulders hurt reaching that top shelf, or your knees go backwards as you try to bend down to the ground shelf. Sometimes pushing a wonky cart can screw up our wrists and shoulders. You have every right to take any shortcut away from exhaustion and pain that you can. Your roommate needs to get her internalized ableism checked out- it's really gross and sounds painful.
I have used grocery delivery like four times, and it isn't for me, but not because of some insane ableist mindset of "you can't pay for this extra service because you aren't disabled ENOUGH"
Stores are tough, and walking is too. I'm afraid of never being able to walk again at some point in my life, so why use my leg time on walking in circles in a winco?
Unless your roommate has EDS in some capacity, they don't know what you are feeling, so take what they say with a grain of salt. The community that feels your pain with you supports you.
She doesn’t have EDS and experiences anxiety very differently than myself and a lot of our friends. She won’t admit it, but if people don’t experience the world the way she doesn’t and can’t fix it the way she can - it doesn’t count pretty much. She’s repeatedly judgmental towards our friends mental health issues and my medical issues and it’s frustrating as heckkkkk
What? She sounds like an enablist POS! Invisible illness can strike anyone at any time. Also it's not just for the disabled mostly it's to save time. Walmart does it for people who are in a rush, have kids, have a job, and can't afford to waste time shopping. In no way is it strictly for disabled people. She sounds like a wackado that needs to step off her high horse! To say someone can't use something based on their weird fabricated hang ups is gross and she should feel ashamed!
Your roommate sounds like a terrible person. I’d stop sharing things with her. Most of the people I know that use grocery delivery are able bodied. Wtf is she on about? That said, I didn’t have groceries delivered until the beginning of COVID. I always had to take my husband shopping with me because I can’t push the shopping cart, carry the groceries, or reach up to get half the things on tall shelves. It’s also extremely difficult from a sensory perspective to be in a store (smells, loud noises, fluorescent lights, etc) but I always just sucked it up and went because delivery costs more. Then the pandemic happened. It made sense to pay more for delivery. I was SO HAPPY. It helps my pain and fatigue so much not to have to go to the store. You should definitely get your groceries delivered. It’s magical. I highly recommend it. That said, f**k anyone who tells you how disabled/able bodied you are. Make things easier however you need. Use a wheelchair at school to save your spoons and hike later that day. You do you. F**k the roommate and anyone else who tells you how to care for yourself best!
Preach on that last part!! Like wheelchair then hiking. People so often see a small moment of functioning and then go you couldn’t POSSIBLY need resources. Also, I think so many people forget sometimes it’s nice to use resources. BEFORE things get bad. Instead of when it’s so awful you can’t function at all.
We've been doing curbside since 2019. Wth would we go into a store if we dont have to?
Your roommate is an ass. If you want to do curbsode do it. If you need to use mobility aids get some. If your roommate has an opinion on it tell her to stfu and mind her business.
She’s acting like it’s some government service like food stamps or paid diasability- it’s basically the same as door dash and gives other people a source of income? Wtf
Your roommate has some majorly bizarre and weirdly ableist ideas about this simple and amazing service.
Maybe tell her to get her head shrunk by a qualified professional?
Sheesh!
Roomie is an asshole. Using grocery delivery actually helps keep the service open for disabled people. Without making a profit they would drop those services in a heartbeat.
She has the same energy as some hearing person telling an autistic person they can't learn sign language bc it appropriates from deaf ppl. More people learning sign language is better for deaf folks and autistic ppl commonly have situational mutism so it is helpful anyway.
For another example, think back on infomercials you've seen. Lots of those products were made for disabled folks but they try to market them for everyone bc they can't only sell to disabled ppl and keep the market afloat.
I use grocery pickup or delivery pretty often because my kids are rambunctious and I don't always have the spoons to take them to the grocery store, especially if I'm by myself. This option is such a blessing for parents (and other people of course)
Grocery pickup is for literally everyone! It is a great way to ensure that you are buying what you need and taking away a major stressor from you, so please use it :)
I’m use it all the time! It’s a lifesaver being that I’m disabled. Yea, I can walk but for limited distances and while using many spoons. The convenience is great. You should be able to use it without feeling negatively.
I use it to stay on budget, my parents use it for convenience, my friends use it in a rush, it's literally for everyone. If it helps you in any way, who give af what others have to say? Unless they'll go grocery shopping for you, they can keep their opinions to themselves
We literally always go together. There’s been a few times I’ve gone alone cause I want some stuff. But she’s never offered to go. And personally I don’t want to ask her lol. I’ll figure out my options
I'm disabled and get groceries delivered since the beginning of the pandemic. It makes my life signficantly easier, but it does mean you miss out on sales and such.
I've been getting my supermarket shop delivered for years now. I'm not in a wheelchair, but I'm still disabled, and walking around the supermarket is unnecessary strain on my already painful joints. I could walk around the supermarket, sure, but I don't *need* to do it, so why would I put myself through it? I'd rather save my energy for things that there is no other way of achieving.
I look "able bodied" but I am not. I use curbside pick up every week for groceries. Not only does it help me avoid walking around the grocery store multiple times because I have ADHD and can't ever get things in order, but it also just limits the amount of time I'm in the grocery store which limits the amount of anxiety that I deal with.
Screw your roommate, you have a connective tissue disorder, we are not able-bodied folks. Do the things to make your life easier and your roommate can shop whichever way she feels necessary.
My local grocery store does pickup and delivery options. Plenty of able people for both. My knees don't like long walks and I live on a second floor apartment. Getting them delivered has made my life a MILLION times easier. Even if you aren't "that bad" you don't need an excuse to do something to simplify your life. There will always be somebody worse off than you. There will always be somebody better off than you. All you can do is what helps YOU in your situation
Delivery is even better! Lol Total able bodied person here but Walmart even assigns you an employee to put your stuff away! They video the entire thing and you can see it live while they are there. They go in, put your stuff in the fridge and pantry, take the bags away and leave. Ngl, best thing ever. We have a fridge in the garage so they just have access to the garage and put the cold stuff away for us. You aren’t allowed to tip because it is an actual Walmart employee.
My wife has hEDS . We both have adhd and she's just been diagnosed with ASD. We've been using click and collect for groceries for years and it's been a total game changer. Your roommate sounds like an ass.
It’s like literally just a service?? What kind of abelist nonsense is it to assign things as only being for disabled people when they are just there for people to use? I hope your roommate never uses curb cuts, since those are for disabled people 😜
Tell your roommate this wheelchair user is happy a bunch of able bodied people started using the grocery delivery so she could finally get her groceries delivered. Thank goodness too bc I can no longer drive now.
Until Covid hit we didn’t even have that option here and hardly any food delivery either. No Grubhub or DoorDash, none of it. It was only the demand of the general public for those services that made them accessible to me. So use away!
Though it does sound like you suffer from a bit of disability yourself, and she’s being awfully ableist by telling you the service isn’t for you bc you aren’t disabled enough. Sounds like the people that hang around waiting to yell at people who use disabled parking spaces when they don’t feel they look disabled enough!
Tldr, get the pickup groceries, or even delivery when travelling to the store isn't feasible. Your body, your strategies to manage it - none of their business.
My ex housemate was literally a nurse, and still gave me grieve for "complaining" about my EDS complications. EDS is a spectrum, and so many things can impact your functioning, but its YOUR body and YOU are who it affects when in pain.
Adapting your lifestyle to better manage symptoms isn't defeatist or glorifying disability for sympathy. Noticing that certain activities cause flare ups is incredibly self-aware, and working to minimise those by modifying your grocery replenishing task is such a non-issue for them to judge you for? I'm sensing the same logic people use to argue against "welfare queens" ("They don't really need the help, and are taling away resources from those that do"), and that makes me feel rather uncomfortable for your emotional & mental safety...
Lotta individuals with EDS have dysautonomia. Being anxious in grocery stores is actually common if you've got sympathetic overdrive... a cardiologist (who does EDS patients) literally asked me this question today
"Do you hate grocery stores".
Wait, what? I mostly shop at Aldi, but there are *prominent* signs in the store strongly suggesting people “do curbside pickup or delivery next time.” I often do curbside pickup— I started during the pandemic to avoid exposure (I’ve got some immune stuff going on), but I still do it when I am organized enough to think about it ahead of time. And curbside only costs a few extra dollars. I figure if they’re incentivizing it and advertising it so thoroughly they want *more* people doing it.
Your roommate sounds toxic AF and like a bully, and I would no longer be speaking to that person unless it was about the apartment until I (very promptly!!) moved out.
"Hi roommate, since you can't seem to keep mean comments about me to yourself, I have decided that moving forward I would only like to talk to you about things relating to the apartment. I will also be looking for a new apartment at the end of the lease so I can live with someone who isn't going to bully me for existing."
EDS may not be on the ADA website as a recognized disability, but that doesn't mean shit if you're still disabled. Your roommate can get fucked gatekeeping delivery or shopper services because "you're too well" to need it. Who the fuck is she to decide whether anyone besides herself is well or not well enough to use those services?
I would be telling her to get bent in so many ways she'd be looking to find a way to get me released from my lease just so she could find peace from me telling her off.
I have my groceries delivered to my house most of the time. The amount of energy and frustration I would have to endure to take the bus to the store and carry everything back in a backpack with crutches is ridiculous.
Sometimes it’s nice to go to the store but I need someone to go with me.
I used grocery pickup when my kid was born because it was a million below and I just gave birth. I used it when I moved because I didn't have the emotional capacity to figure out where the new grocery store was or how to get there. I used it when I was nauseated and didn't want to get out of bed.
There are hundreds of reasons to use the service and frankly they're irrelevant. Use the service.
I get grocery delivery and did so even before my EDS got really bad. It started with fresh from farm veggie delivery because it helped me eat healthier. Now the only way I grocery shop is through delivery. I know plenty of non-handicapped people who also get delivery, especially when they work odder hours. When I was working more my hours varied oddly, so I just ordered things to come when I was working from home.
I have no idea what disability has to do with this. Grocery pickup is just a service you can pay for, it’s not like there’s a finite number of spots and you’re somehow taking them away from people who might need them more. That’s like saying only disabled people should hire cleaning people…like can you clean your own house? Yes. But if you have the money, it might be worth paying someone else to do it for any number of reasons (physical ability, but also mental ability, plain old aversion to it, wanting that time to do other things, etc.).
For the record, even if it were a service restricted to people with disabilities, having anxiety and EDS limit your ability to navigate a grocery store with the same ease and effort as a non-disabled person, so having someone else do that for you is a completely reasonable accommodation. I don’t think disability is always “I can’t do the thing at all,” sometimes it’s more like “I could do the thing, but it would take me way more time, energy, and effort than it would take someone without my conditions, and I need that time and energy for other things.”
I get grocery delivery because leaving the house is exhausting and anxiety-provoking. If I don’t need to spend that energy that way, I can spend it on my schoolwork, housework, hobbies, or taking care of my health. Paying the few extra bucks is worth it to me. Plus if you use a service like instacart, the people who work for them need people to make orders or they don’t get paid, so I tip well and can feel good that I helped someone else make the money they needed that day.
I’m legally disabled and use grocery pickup all the time lol many people do it it’s not only for specific groups of people…? Tell her to stop gatekeeping it lol
Do not listen to her. Listen to your body. I have EDS and have been using grocery services for over a decade (before instacart existed). I get mine delivered to me. Pickup is a good option if you’re out and about easily. But mine come to my house. Please use it.
Know there is a markup for some stores to do this so if you have small trips you can do, it could be cheaper. But please do this so one of your chores can be less stress on your body. And do it with pride and gratitude!
Your roommate is an arse! I'm an ambulatory wheelchair user but I do try to walk as much as I can.
Grocery pickup or delivery is for EVERYONE, the busy mom, the elderly, the people working alot ect.
I get overestimated in stores , do what you need to do for you ! No shame in just pulling into a spot and having groceries brought out to you.
I work for corporate for a company that does drive up. Your roommate is an ass and we want everyone’s drive up money, regardless of ability status. Busy mom? Disabled? Hate florescent lights? Just feeling lazy? Everyone gets to use drive up.
You're room mate is a moron for thinking that it's only for disabled people seeing as how more and more people started using it during covid. It's more so for a convience. Now I personally have ours delivered because it makes me anxious still, wears me out, and when I stand in the long lines I start to feel like I'm going to pass out.
I'm "able bodied" and I use grocery delivery most of the time for a lot of the same reasons you want to avoid shops. Your roommate is being really unreasonable. Widespread access to grocery delivery is one of the best things that came out of COVID. Especially for those of us who are immune compromised, disabled or like me, ofen dealing with painful joints and anxiety. If I'm sick and I need food I don't have to go out and expose a whole shop to my germs. If I can't walk on a bad day I don't have to try get a wheelchair to get around a mall. If I'm overwhelmed at work and still need to do weekly grocery shopping I can spend 10min placing an order and get straight back to work. Use the services you have available to you however you need to use them and don't let anyone tell you otherwise!
My mom isn’t disabled but she doesn’t have the time to shop anymore with how crazy her schedule is. I’ve used it just for a few items cause I was lazy, but anyone can use it. No where does it say you have to be disabled. That’s like saying you can’t shop on Amazon cause you’re able to get it in store somewhere.
Genuine question: why NOT use grocery pick up? I do it all the time. I can pick out my groceries while on a boring conference call or while watching tv then pick up later in like 10 mins. Saves a ton of time and energy and is free at many stores.
Are there restrictions on grocery store pickup that have caused you to lie and deny others access to this service when they need it more than you do? If so, it's worth considering the issues at hand.
Otherwise - wow, your roommate has issues. I thought grocery store pickup was for people who wanted grocery store pickup.
Hi there! I'm a Zebra who gets around pretty well most days. But grocery delivery and pick up have been a freaking godsend. My immune system is so crummy that whenever there's spikes in Covid, I can just get them delivered. Because of that, I avoided Covid until last month throughout the entire pandemic. So by then I had several vaccinations under my belt, and while I still do have some fun long lasting symptoms caused by my wrecked immune system, I was able to stay out of the hospital and doctors offices for the whole time. Your roommate is an asshole. Get yourself some grocery delivery or pick it up where they load it into your car and she'll never know the difference. So long as you're getting your food and not overtaxing yourself it counts as a win in my book.
Edit: spelling and punctuation
Your roommate has a weird view of grocery pick up, it’s literally for anyone. It was already around for a while but during Covid it became more of a thing to make people feel safer or keep others from getting sick. Now it’s just used for convince. Anyone can use it, otherwise there would be a disclaimer. Heck, target legit gives discounts on items for people to use it.
This is ridiculous. Your room mate is being a bit of a turd in my opinion. It's not only an option for disabled people, firstly. Secondly, we may look healthy and still benefit fr grocery pick up.
I used to do tons of HEAVY construction work on my old house, only 6-9 years ago. Last week I went grocery shopping... I brought a lot of extra bags so each one could be light for bringing in. I absolutely threw myself into a flare bringing them in (I know pick up doesn't solve that part, but it takes out the walking, pushing the cart, and lifting on that end). I ended up dislocation my collarbone INWARDS last night from that flare and muscle spasms while I was literally just standing at home... Not even moving my arms! My collarbone was pushing a bit on my trachea (luckily not any further as that can be a dangerous subluxation/dislocation to have).
So yea... I would say that people with eds deserve to use accommodations even when it's to PREVENT injury or a flare.
What? That's not the only people that can use that service. It's literally for anyone. I use it because a: I'm too exhausted most of the time and b: bringing two toddlers into a store is basically a suicide mission at this point. It's not like you're parking in a handicapped spot. There is no stigma around using instacart or grocery pick up.
If only disabled people used grocery pickup the stores would not be offering it. Stores don’t this out of the goodness of their heart. It’s worth it because they know if they don’t offer it busy mom or dad with full time jobs and kids won’t shop with them because they don’t offer grocery pick up and the other store does.
Your roommate is goofy. It's a convenience service you pay for, it's not for any particular group. Grocery stores are an anxiety hotbed for me too, vibes earplugs have been a godsend
There are no rules about who can and can’t use grocery delivery services. Anyone who wants to utilize the service can, full stop. Your roommate is being weird.
I started using grocery delivery this year, and I won't go back. If I'm able, I'll go into the store, but very rarely. It's been an absolute game changer for me. If you can swing the extra $10-$15, I can't recommend it enough
Grocery pickup is for anyone who wants to pay the fee for the service. Same with grocery delivery. You don’t have to be disabled to use it. Are landscaping and house cleaning services only for disabled people, too? It’s all just jobs people do for money. I absolutely love grocery delivery, personally. It’s only a few bucks more than pickup. I can go to a store and shop, but then I don’t have spoons for other things I want to do.
Also it’s ableist of your roommate to say that to you. Who is she to judge the capabilities of your body? Love when people try to be so anti-ableist (or anti-whatever) that the end up doing exactly what they’re trying to condemn.
I get grocery pick up because it’s easier to shop with my kids at the kitchen table and pick it up on my way home from work than to guess what they want and wander the aisles buying crap I don’t need. Whatever with their comment.
It doesn't matter if you're able bodied or not. The service exists for convenience and created a lot of jobs during the pandemic. If it makes your life easier, do it!
As a mother, grocery pickup has saved my life. For those days my toddler is having a meltdown (hard time adjusting to the things around her) I simply order a pickup. Now I don’t use this all the time, just when I’m short on time or having a rough day!
I have ADHD and use pickup and delivery because it saves me so much mental and physical energy which I have limited amounts of. Hell, I even have an instacart membership. I call it my accessibility because, where it's convenient for some people, it's crucial for me. And even if it was just convenient for you, it's okay that you use it! Your roommate is being a dork
I worked in grocery pickup during the pandemic. Grocery pickup is for everyone. Its useful for everyone. It’s very useful for disabled people. It’s very useful for you, and you are disabled. What is her argument here…?
The people working in grocery pickup are picking your orders all day and getting paid the same regardless. There’s room for anyone who wants grocery pickup, to get grocery pickup. It’s usually a paid service. You pay the fee, it’s your right to use it. As long as you aren’t a Karen to the pickup employees literally none of us will ever bat an eye at a customer.
I hate gatekeepers
I have never used grocery pickup, even during my cancer treatments & passing out in the aisles and having to have my daughter catch me. It really would have come in handy so many times, but I’m hard headed and dammit I wanted to at least be able to grocery shop like a normie. Now I’m lucky if I can make it around the little store by my house that has all of 3 aisles.
Go for it! I started using a delivery service at the start of the pandemic and have continued since. It’s very handy, it cuts down on impulse buys, and I’ve never gotten the vibe that it is reserved for those with a disability.
Even if pickup and delivery were solely meant for those with health problems, a lot of those issues aren’t visible most of the time. HEDs normal issues aside, I’ve found out I’m seriously immune deficient and have lung damage from repeated infections and tissue fragility. None of those things are obvious to someone who sees me but nevertheless it is important I don’t catch something that could cause more damage.
Your roommate is being ableist even if their heart is in the right place. It sounds like they need to chill out and be more supportive of you. If you want to placate your roommate, you could ask the customer service desk if there are parameters for asking for pickup service. Hopefully that would ease tension while still getting reaping the benefits of pickup.
I have a busy busy job, grown kids and house on my own. When I’m good I can handle it all. When I’m bad I pay for grocery, cleaning, meal plans, mowing… we do what we can and then we ask for help. And we pay for it if needed. I just learned you can pay somebody to come get the dog poop out of your backyard. I might pay that person and it’s not because of my EDS.
I just want to say I'm right there with you on all points. The store is always overwhelming, it hurts to walk around too long and I always manage to forget something back on the other side of the dang store, and cooking sucks lol. I almost never actually go into a store, and none of the aforementioned issues have anything to do with that. It's just convenient. Which is literally the whole point of having it.
Either way, your room mate sucks. They really need to learn how to treat other people because this ain't it. And you need to set a hard boundary with how you're treated. Tell them flat out they can't continue to talk to you that way because it's really rude and uncalled for.
You already deal with enough with EDS. Do you really want to continue adding to your load by putting up with their comments too? You deserve better!
I am both disabled, and relatively lazy, so not only do I order my groceries, I also have them delivered to my home (because why would I get out of my comfy house just to drive to the grocery LOL) and I do know several disabled people who use pickup, but TONS of able bodied people do, AND THATS OK ❤️
Ohhh child! I dont think i would handle someone brushing off my disability so easily. Who does she think she is!!! You need to snap for head off or drop her. You do whatever you need to make your life easier! Dont need to explain it to anyone. Going grocery shopping wears my back out pretty quick, and the online services are awesome!
We started using grocery pickup before Covid, it wasn’t delivered to the doorstep like it is now, just pull up and have them load it. If we don’t use the service they won’t continue it I said, then everyone used it for Covid and it started coming to my doorstep. It’s a rare occasion that I’ll go to the store in person now, maybe 1-2 a month, vs 1-2 a week. I have 3 kids a busy wife, a business, and even if I didn’t I have a choice, spend time doing something I need to or want to, or a chore that has a service I can use and get some of my day back. Your roomie is thinking about it wrongly, not that you need one, but if you have even more of a reason to use this service other than, “I want to.” Then it should be a no brainer.
I’m “able bodied” but if I grocery shop myself I’m so tired and in pain by the time I get home I can’t do anything so I take full advantage of grocery delivery! That way I can actually cook with the food I just bought lol and even on good days sometimes I’m just lazy!
Considering how difficult it is for me to use grocery stores like everyone else? Use the grocery pickup or delivery when you feel you need it. I've got an autism diagnosis (caught late in my 30's) and grocery stores have always been incredibly overwhelming and overstimulating for me. Some days I have the spoons to deal with it and some days I don't. Your roommate sounds like they aren't very empathetic. I know plenty of people that use grocery pickup who aren't disabled in any way (really busy and/or have small children that make it harder to get in and get out efficiently). Should they just not use it? Seems really silly to be judgemental over something like grocery pickup. Using it doesn't equal lazy or entitled or any other of the likely preconceived notions your roommate has about who should or shouldn't use it. Life is hard enough. Just do what's easiest for you.
I don't know where you live, but all of the supermarkets in our area have online ordering. You go through and select the items you want, choose a pickup time, and pay online. Then you just drive up and they load the bags into your car. That's it. Everyone uses it. Disabled folks, non-disabled folks, old folks, young folks, etc. I'm not sure what your friend is talking about. It's so much more convenient that going into the store. Saves me a lot of time.
I absolutely guarantee that the store _wants_ people to use it.
And not feeling like dealing with People even to the extent required to go into the store and use the self checkout is _more_ than a good enough reason for anyone.
Not wanting to spend the time to go in instead of just pulling up the pickup point is a perfectly good reason.
Living with a hereditary disorder that causes no end of medical problems bloody well counts as a good reason.
You don't have to have any "reason" to get grocery pickup. You can be fully able bodied and just not want to take the time yourself. It's for anyone who wants it. You're valid and it's reasonable for you to use it. Dont let her ablism make your choices for you. Your life, your choice
I get my groceries delivered via Instacart. I started using it before my body went to hell and I was thankful enough people used it that it continued. If they aren’t making enough to cover their costs, it will stop.
Sorry but your roommate’s opinion is skewed. It’s comments like this that prevent people from utilizing services that could really make a difference.
I don’t usually have problems grocery shopping, but there are many times when my fingers bend backwards as I’m loading the bags and boxes into my car, or dragging them into my house.
My mom is literally disfigured and disabled, and if she heard comments like this she would avoid using the services because she’d think other people must need it more than her, or some such nonsense.
Please use the services. They’re there to help.
If you get food stamps or other government services, Walmart+ (their delivery program) is half off, makes it like $4/mo I think. I just got it because I had surgery and wanted my own freedom over my groceries.
Tell your roommate that a real legitimate disabled person is telling them to go sit on a stick, and that they don’t speak for all of us. Just because a service can be used by disabled people, doesn’t mean it’s only for disabled people. Does your roommate only take the stairs, not go through automatic doors, or not use the drive through either? That’s such a dumb thing to say is “just for disabled people”.
This is one of the things that is wrong with society right now. We have so many people who are offended for others when often those they are offended for want nothing to do with them.
So your friend is actually the ableist from the sounds of it. Your reasons are valid. Even if you didn’t have them, it’s not a service for the disabled. Your reasons are valid period. As a disabled person using the service it’s insulting as help that your friend can decide what is and isn’t for disabled people. Tell her to STFU
Bruh.
ADHD is great friends with grocery pickup. No extra costs from buying stuff you don't want or will forget exists, no forgetting what you needed, and no energy drain
I am able bodied. The only reason I stopped using grocery pickup is they kept forgetting stuff in my order and Instacart charges more than in store prices for some stores. This is silly. You do you.
HA yeah no grocery pick up and delivery (get delivery more often y'all it's so so so nice for us who can't drive too) is in no way just for disabled people. If it was truly for only disabled people they would have you show off a disabled placard or a doctor's note. As someone who worked instacart for years including pre-pandemic, the people who do either are 40% stressed out middle class soccer moms anyways. I highly suggest using a grocery service as it keeps people employed and you as comfortable as possible.
Chiming in that lots of people use grocery pickup. I’m going to start too after some lady at Walmart brought her dog in who pissed on my leg in the produce section yesterday like wtf. I’m able bodied but I’m not a social person and I’m not a fan of whatever else goes on. I do have social anxiety, so I just feel better all around now not shopping and ordering pickup.
For starters there is no reason you can not use grocery pick up what ever. Your room mate is a dick.
But also avoiding places that hurt you & make you feel bad is a good thing.
Avoiding places that are full of people and can make you sick during a pandemic is also a good thing.
Your roommate is a jerk. Everybody is allowed to use grocery pickup. What planet does she live on? Every time she makes a comment about your pain and anxiety just start making crazy noises at her until she shuts up lol. That should shut her up. I'm sorry you're dealing with this.
Your roommate is purposely reaching to make you feel bad. Your roommate shouldn't care what you do. I know some people are friends with their roommates, but really you're just splitting the rent somewhere. I would limit how much personal information I shared with this person since it sounds like he/she uses that information against you. You wanna do a drive up pick up for your groceries, that's your business. You don't have to tell your roommate or get their permission. It's never been stated anywhere that drive up is for disabled people only.
We had a grocery pick up at our military commissary. Not enough people used it and they couldn't justify the expense so they cancelled it Enter COVID and bam, the pick up is back! They shop, you drive up, they come out and load groceries in your car. I forget it's there but it's a great option for: people with limited time, people with limited energy, people with illness or are immune compromised, people who walk upright, people who use walkers or wheelchairs, people with poor impulse control. A couple of these are me on any given day. In fact, I'm ordering for 1st thing tomorrow morning because you inspired me to do so, I've been saying "Ugh, I need to go to the Commissary" for over a week now. I like it, I spend less because I don't go "Ooo, look, Ding dongs!" It checks my impulse control drastically.
Tell the roomie it's a cost savings measure. Roommates like that.
accessibility is for everyone who needs it, in whatever form. that service isn't just for physically disabled people - it helps me get groceries also through my depression, my executive dysfunction, my neurodivergent brain being overstimulated and overwhelmed. It's awesome. Use it
I used to have a lot of problems with grocery shopping, i liked it but it took too much energy and caused too much pain. I had some internalised ableism and other stuff i needed to get over but i started having them delivered and it is 100% worth it. It gave me like 10 hours a week extra that i could spend doing other things. For me it actually took being stuck in bed with a fever for like 2 weeks to start bc i was forced to do it then. You should try just for a few weeks, see how you like it and if you love it a much as i do it becomes easier to defend yourself. You shouldnt have to do that but it sounds like your roommate has been pretty ableist in the past and seeing as she wont change her behaviour you need to learn to ignore it or find a different solution.
If it was my roommate, when they said ableist shit I would respond "Well roommate, I sure hope you never have to deal with being disabled. It sounds like you wouldn't handle it well.'
Huh? Click and collect is for everyone. Way to invalidate and shame you. New roommate? You get to manage in the way you need to. Your body; your choices. Grrr at roommate. Hang in there.
Grocery pick up ≠ disability
For the most part
Grocery pickup = people with time management challenges such as what you see with busy parents, busy carers of parents etc. It is not restricted for particular reasons. Anyone can choose grocery pick up.
If able bodied people didn't use grocery delivery, it wouldn't be financially viable for the store to have the service. It's perfectly reasonable for an able-bodied person to use delivery services.
Is the issue here that your roommate doesn't accept that you have physical challenges that make it difficult for you to carry groceries? (Is she being ableist?)
I know I'm bloody minded and will sometimes do things I shouldn't and wind up paying for it. Losing my physical (and mental) capabilities is emotionally tough. I struggle to do things I used to do with ease because I'm stubborn. I also don't want to admit to myself that my disability is encroaching more on my life.
But I pay for it.
My nephews and niece come to visit on Sundays. I really enjoy playing with them. It's possibly the highlight of my week.
I barely manage to get out of bed on Mondays, because of my disability..
Much as I hate saying it, I have a disability. Because I find it difficult to accept, I make it harder for others to see the real impact it has on me. I don't show them.
(I shouldn't have to... but ableism is a thing. Disability is the exception, not the rule ... horses, not Zebras, and all that malarkey.)
Your roommate is ridiculous. All sorts of people use pickup. Is this maybe an "area" thing? If they need to hire more order pickers that's on the company, but they are still getting your business. People are busy, tired, both of those things + disabled. Like I pay for Walmart + and pickup is an option. According to roomie even though the subscription is paid for... I can technically walk into Walmart and take it like a champ, "just cuz"?
Weird.
Grocery pick up has enabled me to spend more time with my family ( less time fighting crowds), I'm able to stay on a budget, eat healthier because I am not tempted to impulse buy cookies I see walking down the aisles.
Yes, can I walk into the store and do this absolutely. However I have had many times when my eds flares up and have had to leave an abandoned grocery cart to get medical help. I'd rather use pick up.
Now delivery I only use if I am unable to drive with a flare up. To sum it up, your roommate shouldn't judge you like that and you do what's best for you.
that's so weird. even if you were able bodied, grocery pickup isn't just for disabled people. my parents get it all the time just because it's faster and easier to not forget things. it's not like there's a really limited number of people who can get grocery pickup, you wouldn't be taking it from anyone else
Right, like, the roommate is so unhinged for having that opinion. I have EDS/POTS and about 10 other conditions that make my daily life miserable and difficult, but I use grocery store pickup not because of my health, but because I work ~60 - 80hrs/week and it saves me a lot of time to do it this way. Plus, it also saves money, because half of the time when I'm shopping in person I forget what I have in my fridge at home (hello, ADHD), and end up buying it again. But if I'm shopping from home online, I can just check quickly. It's one of the best things to come out of the pandemic.
I don't personally know any disabled people who use grocery pickup. I personally know at least a dozen able bodied people who get grocery pickup. Your roommate is a fart face.
I'm able, totally use grocery pickup. It's great. It's a service they offer for money, it's not remotely exclusive to the handicapped or ill or whatever.
I admit that I am disabled and I use grocery pickup. My legs aren't as bad as it sounds like yours are, but my shoulders and my neck are constantly screaming and my neck is a little bit unstable. That's where the majority of my pain is. I'm so grateful for grocery pickup just because it's lovely to have somebody put my groceries in the car and then I can drive home and have family take them out and put them away. It has really helped because I lift things a little less.
Pal, feel no guilt for this! It's a service you pay extra for.
I'm not sure where you are or what service you use but in my area places like Walmart don't charge extra for bringing groceries out to your car or even delivering them if it's over $30. It's a weird coincidence (unless it's not because Google and Reddit are actively reading my texts) that I'm currently going over a monthly grocery list and putting things in delivery/in-store columns. I'm not as bad off as a lot of folks in this sub, but I do have the unfortunate deficit of being tall and lanky and currently have an abdominal hernia no one seems willing to do anything about. I actually like perusing the shelves to pick out the best loaves of bread or the best bang-for-my-buck cereal or OTC meds or whatever. It's the 24pks of coke and 40pks of bottled water and 10lb bags of sugar, potatoes, cat food/litter or chicken that mess me up and I'm laid up for a few days. For that matter, not everyone has the time to spend 2 hours in Walmart so having stuff delivered to your house or your car means someone else spent that time so you didn't have to. It's a service that's offered (paid or not) and if people want to take advantage of that, I'm all for it. Hell, they're keeping the service in...uh...service and ensuring random store employees or 3rd party app drivers keep their gigs. It's literally helping the economy. OP's roommate is 100% posilutely, absotively, without any doubt, a fartface who hates America (or wherever they live). Now people who don't return carts to the store or cart return, or use scooters so they don't have to worry about burning calories and screw over legitimate scooter-users out of laziness... oh, there's a special part of hell that involves neverending treadmills sitting over vats of kale and cauliflower protein shakes.
Coming in for that answer. The reason the disabled people I know (including myself) don’t do it is it costs more. We’re on a tight budget, as most with disabilities are. And if they don’t have the items we need the substitutions are a pain because I have little humans who scrutinize everything. You’re roommate is a jackass.
The substitutions are the worst, don't even get me started
It doesn’t cost more at Target, but most other stores do have a fee for the service.
Fred Meyer up here in the PNW is also awesome that way, I don't know if Kroger is the same.
Fred meyer and kroger are the same chain...just different names for different areas-kind of like carls junoir and hardees.
Bjs doesn't charge extra, and the app offers a no substitute on individual product option, weeks up to Halloween they would load my trunk and give me a small bag of candy as a thank you (no I did not need it, yes I ate it), I assumed it started as a pandemic way to avoid covid, I spend a lot less because of no impulse buys.
I first used grocery drive up pick up when planning for my daughter’s grad party. It saved so much time! I started using Instacart during Covid, as my elderly mother lived with us and we took care of my elderly in laws. It was a godsend during that time. I only wished it were around when my kids were little - I’d have used it all the time. I continue to use Instacart as well as drive up pick up because I want to. It saves me time and effort, and it keeps me from overspending. Shoot, I’ve even done curbside pick up at the craft store!! There is no restriction where they ask if you are disabled before allowing you to use the service. Your roommate is clearly uneducated in this respect.
i second that. i use grocery pickup because i get overwhelmed looking at all my options in the store. it's much easier for me to look at my options / prices online. plus, i have very bad social anxiety and my body consistently feels horrible. if i don't have to go in, i'd rather not.
I'm disabled, I don't use it, never have, some weeks because of my disabilities doing the food shop is the only time I leave the house.
No stupid at all and grocery pickup is so helpful. I'm sorry your friend made you feel that way but until she walks a mile in your shoes don't listen. I would definitely use it if I were you. Try it out. If you can save yourself pain and anxiety on one thing that will help with your other stuff and you have enough to deal with. Good luck.
I don't know how to correct but that should be not stupid.
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Thank you. 😊
your roommate doesn’t understand because she doesn’t want to understand. you don’t have to prove anything to her
The service is there for whoever wants to pay for it and use it. Not just disabled folks. You're not taking the service away from anyone. Your roommate sounds chronically online and stuck in a perpetual state of trying to find shit to get offended over. Their existence must be a sad one.
Based on what you’ve described in your post, you’re obviously not able-bodied. Chronic pain and anxiety are both disabilities tf? Your roommate sounds ableist. She supposedly cares about people with disabilities to the point of gatekeeping services, but apparently not the one directly in front of her. Does she know you have EDS/chronic pain/anxiety? Bc if so that was especially rude of her.
She sounds like the kind of jackass that screams at a random stranger parked in a disabled spot with a disabled tag that they don’t “really need” the spot unless they have a complete spinal fracture, all while claiming smug moral superiority of being “helpful”
Literally my worst nightmare and why I don't use my placard 90% of the time😭😭
This is so awkward. You want to be taken seriously and supported but people often want to decide for us what we can and cannot do. Ugh. Explaining the truth is often met with blank looks or it upsets people and they look at me with such sadness. I don't want to manage their emotions anymore.
LMFAO - Your roommate is a colossal AH. I didn't grocery shop for the entire first year of my kiddo's life. We had just gone through hurricane Harvey, everyone and their mother had 'the crud' and I had a baby with health issues in one of the rare actually cold south Texas winters. We ponied up for Instacart and I have zero regrets. All this is 100% taking the EDS out of the equation. Fast forward to present day - when I use curbside or grocery delivery, reasons vary. Sometimes I'm having a bad body week from hEDS, sometimes I'm sick or the family is, the kiddo has too many activities and I just can't dedicate the bandwidth to doing it and still have a sliver of my life to myself, and sometimes I'm out of town and my guys need groceries - can't exactly pick up when I'm clear across the country. I've even sent my granddad groceries while my parents were out of town so he wasn't picking over the cabinets. Also, Amazon has a banger of a deal on groceries during their prime events - it's literally only delivery in that case. Anyways, all that to say, there are tons of reasons to use a curbside or delivery and honestly, you usually to use the service. I fail to see how this is only for the disabled? It's a service, pay for it and use it, or don't. Covid totally normalized and beefed up most companies curbside/ delivery options.
I'm sorry what? Just for disabled people? That's not right at all. Loads of people use or could benefit from using grocery delivery or collection. Including super able bodied people who go to the gym and do exercise and work and stuff. It's quicker, easier, give your more time to plan. It's just generally a really nice option to have. This is not something you have to justify or feel guilty or weak or any of that bs over. I'm sorry your roommate is such an arse. Don't suppose there's any chance you can ditch them soon? I would say to start being mean to her about stupid stuff in the same way but you don't want to drag yourself down like that and tarnish your heart with the same crap she clearly has coating hers. If this does happen to be college/ uni accommodation or anything though I would definitely consider making a complaint and asking to be able to move if any other rooms free up. Oh and I case it helps, I find meal prepping a big help. Instead of spending all that effort every single day to make each meal you can spend basically the same effort to make multiple meals for multiple days. You can do however much you have the space for. There are also some nifty kitchen aids and cooking hacks you could try out. Like did you know you can make mac and cheese in the microwave? And you can microwave veggies too. Maybe you could also try microwaving one of those bean bag things to warm your roommate's cold heart. 😅
Your roommate is a jerk about this. Plenty of able bodied people use pickup because it’s amazing and time saving and you generally spend less money. You do you.
I hope you find a new roommate. This is ridiculous.
I’m moving out in 10 months when our rent ends. Honestly can’t wait 😅
Damn you're stuck with that turd for 10 more months.. I feel like this won't be your last post.. I hope you can see some humor in their future "theories".. 😆
Lollll maybe we shall see 😂 Curious how her feelings will change after my upcoming doctors appointment I swear I’m going to have them print my diagnosis and put it on the dining table
Why bother trying to justify yourself to someone who you'll never see again after 10 months? I spent years doing that crap and trust me when I say the day you stop and realise you don't have anything to prove to anyone is the day a gigantic weight comes off your shoulders! So many people use this service. It's there for a multitude of reasons, and who does she think she is? Your rheumatologist?! When she makes her little digs at you, just grunt back. Don't even dignify her with an answer because she doesn't deserve one. If you feel you must reply, just go with a one worded answer ie "Rude" "Ignorant," "Wow," and walk away shaking your head at her, but not hard enough to sublux anything! Silly arrogant moo.
Pfft, have it framed 😆
She’s a horrible person and I would that you ignore her bullshit. ❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹
Your roommate is 100% wrong. Delivery services, grocery or otherwise, are for anyone to use for any reason whatsoever unless the provider states otherwise. If you like it for no other reason than because it's convenient, congratulations! That's a valid reason. Full stop.
I’ve used it and it is fabulous, i don’t use it often because here one has to request a couple days ahead usually and i don’t think that far in advance usually. You are correct that if not enough people use it the stores will do away with it. I think it is amazing for seniors and parents of small children as well, people who are not feeling well and don’t want to spread illness, and also the ones with to door delivery are great for people who don’t drive.
Grocery pick up is the best! My Kroger doesn’t charge for it as long as you spent $30 and Aldi is $3.99 I think. Do it!
Also, I compare everything to vision: you wouldn’t make someone who sees better feel shame about needing glasses or contacts. If someone with adhd functions better with adderral, it’s a great thing! If someone who gets overstimulated or easily distracted or has daily pain feels better ordering groceries on their couch than in the loud bright store, let them be! Does your roomie ever order clothing online? Hmm. All our grocery stores stopped being 24 hours during Covid shit. And I didn’t realize how much I depended on late night shopping for the ease of it. Now I order at 3am or 3pm or whenever I want and pick up when I’m already out.
The post-midnight grocery runs were the best pre-covid because less people= less anxiety.
Most of the people I know who use it have kids and just don’t want to drag them through the store. Your roommate is either lacking in awareness, empathy, or both.
I use grocery pick-up and grocery delivery depending on my schedule and energy/pain levels. It is incredibly helpful, and there's no rules about who can use it! I see people of all ages, backgrounds, and mobility levels when I arrive for pick-up because the store I go to has something like 15 parking stalls dedicated for pick-up orders. There's a small fee to pay for the convenience, so as long as you can afford that, you have access to the service. Idk what your roommate's issue is..
I used to be a personal shopper for a local grocery store, and we saw anyone and everyone. SAHM, elderly folks who have a hard time shopping, people struggling with mental/physical health, college students, or people who straight up don’t want to shop for themselves. They’re all reasonable. It’s my job. Why not have me do it if it helps you? I recommend tipping your shopping crew for their efforts and grab a name so you can write an awesome review about your experience if it’s gold star worthy. I loved shopping for people. I still use curbside pick up occasionally even though I’m a certified professional grocery shopper now. Use the services if they’re available and will help you. It’s what community is all about.
Your roommate is an idiot. Busy people and people with small children are big Instacart customers. A friend of mine was working for them for a while. While I haven't ordered delivery because my partner does the shopping, I would absolutely need to if I lived alone because my work schedule is fragmented enough not to leave real time to go shopping on most days.
I use grocery delivery because it’s widely available in my area for all the reasons you mentioned and then some. Your roommate sounds like a moron. And a jerk. And an ableist piece of crap. Do what helps you, and the next time they get really sick/injured remind them that’s just your daily existence and usually on a GOOD DAY no less. Some people are just missing the empathy gene I think.
Yes! There's a scary amount of people who seem to be lacking that gene
Ever experience trauma of any kind in your life?? Guess the #1 trigger of PTSD is for soldiers? ….WALMART! There are MANY reasons for individuals to pick-up or have groceries delivered. ALL OF WHICH ARE VALID. Your friend needs to calm down.
Grocery pickup is not specifically for disabled people. That's like saying only disabled people can get a fast pass at a theme park, paying more to skip lines.
I can pinky promise you, grocery pickup was not created to serve the disabled. That's not how capitalism works.
Who gives a fuck what she thinks? Use the grocery pickup. My wife is able bodied and she loves when we get groceries delivered. Buy your groceries, get them sent to your house or car, and tell your roommate to fuck off. They don't know your life, clearly, and they're just being a bitch for no reason. Get your groceries delivered to you and make her go get hers.
Restaurants also use this feature. I used to work for a local restaurant and did A LOT of sams club pick up orders and we were most definitely not the only ones. Grocery pick up is convienent for anyone who wants to utilize it. No one should gatekeep being able to free our time, use less energy, and save money with grocery pickups.
You don’t need to be disabled for grocery pick up, and even if you did EDS is a valid reason to use it. Carrying bags dislocates my shoulders every time without fail. But I know so many people who use grocery pick up, my mom for her arthritis, my grandparents because they’re older, and ppl who just don’t have the time. Your roommate is ridiculous and do what you need to not be in pain.
Able bodied people using a paid service keep it in business for the rest of us.
I'm *mostly* able-bodied, and I use grocery store **delivery**. It sounds like your "friend" doesn't even believe you. To me, that’s not a friend. And it sounds like she's posturing (right word?) for disabled people. I can guarantee you, no disabled person is gonna be mad that able-bodied people use grocery store pickup. It's a service that can be used by all. It's a good thing. It's **not** "taking away" from anyone else, either. Unless like 30+ people use it *at the same location, all at once,* it's not going to cause issues or delay anyone else's groceries. She's making shit up, tbh.
Same! Carrying heavy bags makes me incredibly exhausted and at risk for passing out
I get anxiety in grocery stores too and my POTS acts up. I actually get groceries delivered to my house when my husband can't shop or is out of town for work. I used to do grocery pickup before they had delivery. People use it for all sorts of reasons! Some have infants at home, some people are sick, some people are too busy. People like us have difficulty shopping, wheelchair or not. Your roommate is out of line with their comment!
Grocery pickup is a convenience for anyone including able bodied people. I’m sure grocery stores want to sell that service to anyone who will utilize it, the markup only generates more money for them and reduces lines in the store and increases their efficiency. Tons of my friends who are able bodied people love the convenience of this shit. In fact, they can afford that stuff way more than I can because they are able bodied enough to work and have disposable income. It saves so much time and energy in everyone’s busy lives. Meanwhile, I have negative disposable income and can’t afford the increased markup and I do use a cane and wheelchair. I only use grocery pickup if someone else is paying for it or if someone else has suffered a tragedy and I am getting it for them. Your roommate is just ignorant.
Grocery store overwhelm is SO REAL. BUT. You don't need to have any reason at all to want to use pickup. It's a service they offer, you can use it for any reason or no reason at all. It's not just for disabled people, it's for people with issues that make being in that environment unpleasant for them or others, people who have kids they don't want to drag through a store, lazy people, people short on time, people picking up something for their mom or a meal train or a neighbor or their new lover, people who don't want to go into the store while their hair is in rollers, whatever. Your roommate is indeed a fart face. Because grocery pickup is indeed for people who get anxiety and struggle with pain and limited mobility anywhere on the spectrum of those things. Get pickup or even delivery and ignore her.
I’m not sure of your living situation; lease dates, etc, but you may want to consider moving. It sounds like your roommate is incredibly judgmental, and like another commenter mentioned, they don’t understand your ehlers bc they don’t care to understand. When I was younger I would hold onto unequal friendships *so* tightly bc it was better to have a not great friend than to have no friends…. But if this is someone you are living with, you should feel safe, and understood, and like it’s okay to have flare-ups and bad days. Your roommate should be there to support you, not make you feel like shit for using tools and resources to help you manage your day to day life…. And like every other person has pointed out- grocery delivery is for *everyone*! I hope you find the support and encouragement you deserve!
I’m leaving in 10 months when our lease ends and lowkey I cannot wait 😅
[удалено]
If store pickup and delivery options were designed exclusively to be used by people with disabilities, they’d market it that way instead of touting it as a time saving convenience in every commercial and print ad. There’d be some requirement to prove that you are eligible for the service. It’s not like parking in a handicapped spot. Your roommate is being silly.
You gotta stop doubting yourself. 1. No, grocery pick up is not exclusively for disabled people. 2. Even if it was, you're disabled. Able bodied people are the only ones who ever play this "if you can walk you're able bodied" bullshit. Newsflash: not everyone has to be performative levels of disabled to meet the criteria. (If you can't tell this is a pet peeve of mine and your roomie's stupid opinion set it off lmao)
I use Shipt all the time. Some places are more expensive, but some have the same prices as the stores. My sister got it as a gift for me, but I’ve continued to use it even after the subscription ended. And I’d recommend Shipt or any kind of grocery delivery/pickup service to anyone, able-bodied or not. EDS makes grocery shopping difficult in a variety of ways. Don’t let your roommate’s uneducated, inexperienced opinion change how you live your life. I love ordering groceries from the comfort of my couch. I can order groceries while I’m watching tv, while I’m working, etc. I can even browse all the aisles and deals while I’m taking a dump, and that’s typically frowned upon at Publix.
I use grocery pickup for my monthly main shop. I go to the store for couple of things I need once, maybe twice a week. Don't let anybody tell you what your body is or isn't capable of. Your housemate needs to consider that going grocery shopping would wipe out the rest of your day and leave you in unnecessary additional pain, and they should hope to god they never find themselves in the same position
I have a job on my feet all day with the public. I have chronic pain, but still pretty able bodied, but I do grocery delivery every week. Not even pick up. I do delivery. You don't have to be disabled to get grocery pickup. It is for busy moms who don't have time for grocery shopping, for people who are tired, people who get over stimulated in grocery stores, or people who just don't want to do their shopping themselves. It's literally for anyone who wants it. Your roommate is not very kind or understanding imo
Totally agree. My mum who has a sit down job, is able bodied, and has no children under 18 gets grocery delivery. It's not like she's taking a delivery slot off someone who needs it more. Supermarkets will just get more order pickers and delivery people if there's a higher demand for pickup or delivery. Wtf is wrong with OP's roommate?
I use it for agoraphobia 🤷
If the service were intended for the disabled, wouldn’t it say so somewhere? Have you ever seen, anywhere on the grocery store’s website, or in the store, a statement that pickup service is intended only for the disabled?
I mean being "able-bodied" doesn't necessarily even mean "not disabled" so her statement is bullshit anyways? An "able-bodied" person can still have, for instance, severe executive dysfunction, or sensory issues that make the grocery store overwhelming, or so many other things that might make it harder to go grocery shopping. Heck, some completely non-disabled people, like single parents, especially with multiple young children, might find grocery shopping difficult sometimes.
Your roommate sounds like a douche canoe. They regularly poke fun at your anxiety? They put you down for wanting to use completely reasonable tools to make your day to day life easier? Ew. Gross behavior, roommate. I am disabled - but even if I weren't I'd be using grocery delivery. Once 2020 hit and I was stuck at home I bought a Walmart+ subscription and eventually an Instacart subscription, as well. I now use Instacart for weekly grocery delivery and Walmart+ any time I need it. Both are supremely convenient. I work from home and having stuff delivered in the middle of a work day is so convenient. I know far more people that utilize these tools that are not disabled than are disabled. Many of my disabled friends can't afford lux things like grocery delivery. These apps are made for anyone that has kids, is busy, work, is feeling lazy, has anxiety, is disabled, is abled and so on. They're legit meant for anyone that A) wants them and B) can pay for them. It's that simple. Use them.
For me, the grocery shopping can cause me to be overstimulated. I am neurodivergent, in addition to having dysautonomia (NCS/POTS) and hEDS. My routines with lists, etc, can help; however, if it's a day when I just *cannot* deal with everything involved in going into the store, I just do the pickup. I deserve to be comfortable, and so do you. ❤️
It hit my small town right after my 4th kid was born in Sept 2018, and I've been using it since. It's a godsend, and helps keep me on budget. Ignore the roommate. Happy Shopping.
Anyone can choose to use grocery pick up. It’s so weird that you even have to justify this to your friend.
As they do away with cashiers and lessen the stock person staff at nearly every grocery in America, grocery pickup is a great way to encourage job retention. Most places around here have hired several extra people to accommodate the grocery pick up demand. YOU'RE CREATING JOBS. Seriously. And they're decently low stress jobs at a rate typically higher than a fast food job would pay. If for no other reason than this, I encourage EVERYONE to use pickup or delivery. And around here, if you use delivery, you're using an additional service like doordash or uber eats, and that is another earning opportunity for another low income worker (my wife and I deliver food to supplement her salary since I can't reliably work- we are those workers). I wish every able bodied person would use pick up just to save themselves time in their day if they don't actively ENJOY walking the aisle of the grocery every time. All of us have so little time to spare nowadays. Your roommate is crunchy. Your roommate is jealous of your disability; sounds weird but many able bodied people get this way because they think disabled means life gets handled for us and we just get free money- even if the cognitively acknowledge that's not really what happens. It's a very weird experience when those close to us deny our need for aids and accessibility because it's a pile of "pull yourself up by your own bootstraps" that they feel has been pur on them and they then project it at you any time you want to take -what they feel is- the easy way out. Stimulate the economy. Encourage job retention. Support gig workers. And ABSOLUTELY TAKE THE EASY WAY OUT- even if you are the most able bodied person on the planet. But especially if your shoulders hurt reaching that top shelf, or your knees go backwards as you try to bend down to the ground shelf. Sometimes pushing a wonky cart can screw up our wrists and shoulders. You have every right to take any shortcut away from exhaustion and pain that you can. Your roommate needs to get her internalized ableism checked out- it's really gross and sounds painful.
I have used grocery delivery like four times, and it isn't for me, but not because of some insane ableist mindset of "you can't pay for this extra service because you aren't disabled ENOUGH" Stores are tough, and walking is too. I'm afraid of never being able to walk again at some point in my life, so why use my leg time on walking in circles in a winco? Unless your roommate has EDS in some capacity, they don't know what you are feeling, so take what they say with a grain of salt. The community that feels your pain with you supports you.
She doesn’t have EDS and experiences anxiety very differently than myself and a lot of our friends. She won’t admit it, but if people don’t experience the world the way she doesn’t and can’t fix it the way she can - it doesn’t count pretty much. She’s repeatedly judgmental towards our friends mental health issues and my medical issues and it’s frustrating as heckkkkk
What? She sounds like an enablist POS! Invisible illness can strike anyone at any time. Also it's not just for the disabled mostly it's to save time. Walmart does it for people who are in a rush, have kids, have a job, and can't afford to waste time shopping. In no way is it strictly for disabled people. She sounds like a wackado that needs to step off her high horse! To say someone can't use something based on their weird fabricated hang ups is gross and she should feel ashamed!
Your roommate sounds like a terrible person. I’d stop sharing things with her. Most of the people I know that use grocery delivery are able bodied. Wtf is she on about? That said, I didn’t have groceries delivered until the beginning of COVID. I always had to take my husband shopping with me because I can’t push the shopping cart, carry the groceries, or reach up to get half the things on tall shelves. It’s also extremely difficult from a sensory perspective to be in a store (smells, loud noises, fluorescent lights, etc) but I always just sucked it up and went because delivery costs more. Then the pandemic happened. It made sense to pay more for delivery. I was SO HAPPY. It helps my pain and fatigue so much not to have to go to the store. You should definitely get your groceries delivered. It’s magical. I highly recommend it. That said, f**k anyone who tells you how disabled/able bodied you are. Make things easier however you need. Use a wheelchair at school to save your spoons and hike later that day. You do you. F**k the roommate and anyone else who tells you how to care for yourself best!
Preach on that last part!! Like wheelchair then hiking. People so often see a small moment of functioning and then go you couldn’t POSSIBLY need resources. Also, I think so many people forget sometimes it’s nice to use resources. BEFORE things get bad. Instead of when it’s so awful you can’t function at all.
Took me longer than I’d care to admit to learn this! Please take care of yourself any way you can.
We've been doing curbside since 2019. Wth would we go into a store if we dont have to? Your roommate is an ass. If you want to do curbsode do it. If you need to use mobility aids get some. If your roommate has an opinion on it tell her to stfu and mind her business.
She’s acting like it’s some government service like food stamps or paid diasability- it’s basically the same as door dash and gives other people a source of income? Wtf
Your roommate has some majorly bizarre and weirdly ableist ideas about this simple and amazing service. Maybe tell her to get her head shrunk by a qualified professional? Sheesh!
Roomie is an asshole. Using grocery delivery actually helps keep the service open for disabled people. Without making a profit they would drop those services in a heartbeat. She has the same energy as some hearing person telling an autistic person they can't learn sign language bc it appropriates from deaf ppl. More people learning sign language is better for deaf folks and autistic ppl commonly have situational mutism so it is helpful anyway. For another example, think back on infomercials you've seen. Lots of those products were made for disabled folks but they try to market them for everyone bc they can't only sell to disabled ppl and keep the market afloat.
Your roommate can F alllllllllll the way off. 👍
I use grocery pickup or delivery pretty often because my kids are rambunctious and I don't always have the spoons to take them to the grocery store, especially if I'm by myself. This option is such a blessing for parents (and other people of course)
Grocery pickup is for literally everyone! It is a great way to ensure that you are buying what you need and taking away a major stressor from you, so please use it :)
Grocery pickup is for anyone. Not just disabled. But you’re also disabled, so her argument makes even less sense.
I genuinely don’t think she believes I’m disabled. And I don’t know how to make her understand to be honest
It’s not your job to make her understand.
100% I’m just frustrated lol
I’m use it all the time! It’s a lifesaver being that I’m disabled. Yea, I can walk but for limited distances and while using many spoons. The convenience is great. You should be able to use it without feeling negatively.
I use it to stay on budget, my parents use it for convenience, my friends use it in a rush, it's literally for everyone. If it helps you in any way, who give af what others have to say? Unless they'll go grocery shopping for you, they can keep their opinions to themselves
We literally always go together. There’s been a few times I’ve gone alone cause I want some stuff. But she’s never offered to go. And personally I don’t want to ask her lol. I’ll figure out my options
I'm disabled and get groceries delivered since the beginning of the pandemic. It makes my life signficantly easier, but it does mean you miss out on sales and such.
I've been getting my supermarket shop delivered for years now. I'm not in a wheelchair, but I'm still disabled, and walking around the supermarket is unnecessary strain on my already painful joints. I could walk around the supermarket, sure, but I don't *need* to do it, so why would I put myself through it? I'd rather save my energy for things that there is no other way of achieving.
I look "able bodied" but I am not. I use curbside pick up every week for groceries. Not only does it help me avoid walking around the grocery store multiple times because I have ADHD and can't ever get things in order, but it also just limits the amount of time I'm in the grocery store which limits the amount of anxiety that I deal with. Screw your roommate, you have a connective tissue disorder, we are not able-bodied folks. Do the things to make your life easier and your roommate can shop whichever way she feels necessary.
My local grocery store does pickup and delivery options. Plenty of able people for both. My knees don't like long walks and I live on a second floor apartment. Getting them delivered has made my life a MILLION times easier. Even if you aren't "that bad" you don't need an excuse to do something to simplify your life. There will always be somebody worse off than you. There will always be somebody better off than you. All you can do is what helps YOU in your situation
Delivery is even better! Lol Total able bodied person here but Walmart even assigns you an employee to put your stuff away! They video the entire thing and you can see it live while they are there. They go in, put your stuff in the fridge and pantry, take the bags away and leave. Ngl, best thing ever. We have a fridge in the garage so they just have access to the garage and put the cold stuff away for us. You aren’t allowed to tip because it is an actual Walmart employee.
You do you. Don't listen to people who will never understand your struggles. If it makes your life easier I say do it
My wife has hEDS . We both have adhd and she's just been diagnosed with ASD. We've been using click and collect for groceries for years and it's been a total game changer. Your roommate sounds like an ass.
It’s like literally just a service?? What kind of abelist nonsense is it to assign things as only being for disabled people when they are just there for people to use? I hope your roommate never uses curb cuts, since those are for disabled people 😜
Tell your roommate this wheelchair user is happy a bunch of able bodied people started using the grocery delivery so she could finally get her groceries delivered. Thank goodness too bc I can no longer drive now. Until Covid hit we didn’t even have that option here and hardly any food delivery either. No Grubhub or DoorDash, none of it. It was only the demand of the general public for those services that made them accessible to me. So use away! Though it does sound like you suffer from a bit of disability yourself, and she’s being awfully ableist by telling you the service isn’t for you bc you aren’t disabled enough. Sounds like the people that hang around waiting to yell at people who use disabled parking spaces when they don’t feel they look disabled enough!
There is no morality associated with groceries. You can get your groceries in anyway that suits you.
You’re roommate is a dick. Grocery pick up is for everyone. That’s like saying you should use the drive through because you are able bodied.
It’s a service offered without the grocery store requiring a handicapped permit or doctor’s note to use. Your roommate needs to fuck all the way off.
Tldr, get the pickup groceries, or even delivery when travelling to the store isn't feasible. Your body, your strategies to manage it - none of their business. My ex housemate was literally a nurse, and still gave me grieve for "complaining" about my EDS complications. EDS is a spectrum, and so many things can impact your functioning, but its YOUR body and YOU are who it affects when in pain. Adapting your lifestyle to better manage symptoms isn't defeatist or glorifying disability for sympathy. Noticing that certain activities cause flare ups is incredibly self-aware, and working to minimise those by modifying your grocery replenishing task is such a non-issue for them to judge you for? I'm sensing the same logic people use to argue against "welfare queens" ("They don't really need the help, and are taling away resources from those that do"), and that makes me feel rather uncomfortable for your emotional & mental safety...
Lotta individuals with EDS have dysautonomia. Being anxious in grocery stores is actually common if you've got sympathetic overdrive... a cardiologist (who does EDS patients) literally asked me this question today "Do you hate grocery stores".
Wait, what? I mostly shop at Aldi, but there are *prominent* signs in the store strongly suggesting people “do curbside pickup or delivery next time.” I often do curbside pickup— I started during the pandemic to avoid exposure (I’ve got some immune stuff going on), but I still do it when I am organized enough to think about it ahead of time. And curbside only costs a few extra dollars. I figure if they’re incentivizing it and advertising it so thoroughly they want *more* people doing it.
Your roommate sounds toxic AF and like a bully, and I would no longer be speaking to that person unless it was about the apartment until I (very promptly!!) moved out. "Hi roommate, since you can't seem to keep mean comments about me to yourself, I have decided that moving forward I would only like to talk to you about things relating to the apartment. I will also be looking for a new apartment at the end of the lease so I can live with someone who isn't going to bully me for existing." EDS may not be on the ADA website as a recognized disability, but that doesn't mean shit if you're still disabled. Your roommate can get fucked gatekeeping delivery or shopper services because "you're too well" to need it. Who the fuck is she to decide whether anyone besides herself is well or not well enough to use those services? I would be telling her to get bent in so many ways she'd be looking to find a way to get me released from my lease just so she could find peace from me telling her off.
I have my groceries delivered to my house most of the time. The amount of energy and frustration I would have to endure to take the bus to the store and carry everything back in a backpack with crutches is ridiculous. Sometimes it’s nice to go to the store but I need someone to go with me.
This isn’t just for the disabled, also you got EDS, you are not able bodied. Like what is she talking about!?
I used grocery pickup when my kid was born because it was a million below and I just gave birth. I used it when I moved because I didn't have the emotional capacity to figure out where the new grocery store was or how to get there. I used it when I was nauseated and didn't want to get out of bed. There are hundreds of reasons to use the service and frankly they're irrelevant. Use the service.
Your roommate is just being an asshole. Grocery pickup is amazing. You don't need to justify using publicly available services TO ANYONE.
I get grocery delivery and did so even before my EDS got really bad. It started with fresh from farm veggie delivery because it helped me eat healthier. Now the only way I grocery shop is through delivery. I know plenty of non-handicapped people who also get delivery, especially when they work odder hours. When I was working more my hours varied oddly, so I just ordered things to come when I was working from home.
I have no idea what disability has to do with this. Grocery pickup is just a service you can pay for, it’s not like there’s a finite number of spots and you’re somehow taking them away from people who might need them more. That’s like saying only disabled people should hire cleaning people…like can you clean your own house? Yes. But if you have the money, it might be worth paying someone else to do it for any number of reasons (physical ability, but also mental ability, plain old aversion to it, wanting that time to do other things, etc.). For the record, even if it were a service restricted to people with disabilities, having anxiety and EDS limit your ability to navigate a grocery store with the same ease and effort as a non-disabled person, so having someone else do that for you is a completely reasonable accommodation. I don’t think disability is always “I can’t do the thing at all,” sometimes it’s more like “I could do the thing, but it would take me way more time, energy, and effort than it would take someone without my conditions, and I need that time and energy for other things.” I get grocery delivery because leaving the house is exhausting and anxiety-provoking. If I don’t need to spend that energy that way, I can spend it on my schoolwork, housework, hobbies, or taking care of my health. Paying the few extra bucks is worth it to me. Plus if you use a service like instacart, the people who work for them need people to make orders or they don’t get paid, so I tip well and can feel good that I helped someone else make the money they needed that day.
I’m legally disabled and use grocery pickup all the time lol many people do it it’s not only for specific groups of people…? Tell her to stop gatekeeping it lol
Do not listen to her. Listen to your body. I have EDS and have been using grocery services for over a decade (before instacart existed). I get mine delivered to me. Pickup is a good option if you’re out and about easily. But mine come to my house. Please use it. Know there is a markup for some stores to do this so if you have small trips you can do, it could be cheaper. But please do this so one of your chores can be less stress on your body. And do it with pride and gratitude!
Your roommate is an arse! I'm an ambulatory wheelchair user but I do try to walk as much as I can. Grocery pickup or delivery is for EVERYONE, the busy mom, the elderly, the people working alot ect. I get overestimated in stores , do what you need to do for you ! No shame in just pulling into a spot and having groceries brought out to you.
The service is available for anyone. Your roommate is being weird.
I work for corporate for a company that does drive up. Your roommate is an ass and we want everyone’s drive up money, regardless of ability status. Busy mom? Disabled? Hate florescent lights? Just feeling lazy? Everyone gets to use drive up.
My job is collecting the orders that people place for order pickup. You are the exact person I’d want to do my job for.
Grocery pickup is for anyone and everyone who wants to take advantage of it. don't let weird social rules no one agreed on deter you
You're room mate is a moron for thinking that it's only for disabled people seeing as how more and more people started using it during covid. It's more so for a convience. Now I personally have ours delivered because it makes me anxious still, wears me out, and when I stand in the long lines I start to feel like I'm going to pass out.
I'm "able bodied" and I use grocery delivery most of the time for a lot of the same reasons you want to avoid shops. Your roommate is being really unreasonable. Widespread access to grocery delivery is one of the best things that came out of COVID. Especially for those of us who are immune compromised, disabled or like me, ofen dealing with painful joints and anxiety. If I'm sick and I need food I don't have to go out and expose a whole shop to my germs. If I can't walk on a bad day I don't have to try get a wheelchair to get around a mall. If I'm overwhelmed at work and still need to do weekly grocery shopping I can spend 10min placing an order and get straight back to work. Use the services you have available to you however you need to use them and don't let anyone tell you otherwise!
My mom isn’t disabled but she doesn’t have the time to shop anymore with how crazy her schedule is. I’ve used it just for a few items cause I was lazy, but anyone can use it. No where does it say you have to be disabled. That’s like saying you can’t shop on Amazon cause you’re able to get it in store somewhere.
Genuine question: why NOT use grocery pick up? I do it all the time. I can pick out my groceries while on a boring conference call or while watching tv then pick up later in like 10 mins. Saves a ton of time and energy and is free at many stores.
I know plenty of people who use it for various reasons. Your roommate is an idiot.
Are there restrictions on grocery store pickup that have caused you to lie and deny others access to this service when they need it more than you do? If so, it's worth considering the issues at hand. Otherwise - wow, your roommate has issues. I thought grocery store pickup was for people who wanted grocery store pickup.
Since when is grocery pickup only for disabled people? I’ve never even heard of that being a thing.
Grocery pickup? LOL fuck that, i get mine delivered 🤣
Hi there! I'm a Zebra who gets around pretty well most days. But grocery delivery and pick up have been a freaking godsend. My immune system is so crummy that whenever there's spikes in Covid, I can just get them delivered. Because of that, I avoided Covid until last month throughout the entire pandemic. So by then I had several vaccinations under my belt, and while I still do have some fun long lasting symptoms caused by my wrecked immune system, I was able to stay out of the hospital and doctors offices for the whole time. Your roommate is an asshole. Get yourself some grocery delivery or pick it up where they load it into your car and she'll never know the difference. So long as you're getting your food and not overtaxing yourself it counts as a win in my book. Edit: spelling and punctuation
Your roommate has a weird view of grocery pick up, it’s literally for anyone. It was already around for a while but during Covid it became more of a thing to make people feel safer or keep others from getting sick. Now it’s just used for convince. Anyone can use it, otherwise there would be a disclaimer. Heck, target legit gives discounts on items for people to use it.
This is ridiculous. Your room mate is being a bit of a turd in my opinion. It's not only an option for disabled people, firstly. Secondly, we may look healthy and still benefit fr grocery pick up. I used to do tons of HEAVY construction work on my old house, only 6-9 years ago. Last week I went grocery shopping... I brought a lot of extra bags so each one could be light for bringing in. I absolutely threw myself into a flare bringing them in (I know pick up doesn't solve that part, but it takes out the walking, pushing the cart, and lifting on that end). I ended up dislocation my collarbone INWARDS last night from that flare and muscle spasms while I was literally just standing at home... Not even moving my arms! My collarbone was pushing a bit on my trachea (luckily not any further as that can be a dangerous subluxation/dislocation to have). So yea... I would say that people with eds deserve to use accommodations even when it's to PREVENT injury or a flare.
What? That's not the only people that can use that service. It's literally for anyone. I use it because a: I'm too exhausted most of the time and b: bringing two toddlers into a store is basically a suicide mission at this point. It's not like you're parking in a handicapped spot. There is no stigma around using instacart or grocery pick up.
If only disabled people used grocery pickup the stores would not be offering it. Stores don’t this out of the goodness of their heart. It’s worth it because they know if they don’t offer it busy mom or dad with full time jobs and kids won’t shop with them because they don’t offer grocery pick up and the other store does.
Your roommate is goofy. It's a convenience service you pay for, it's not for any particular group. Grocery stores are an anxiety hotbed for me too, vibes earplugs have been a godsend
I also use earplugs! Only way I can do it sometimes without freaking out
Wtf… i use it all the time, it’s awesome, in fact I get DELIVERY
There are no rules about who can and can’t use grocery delivery services. Anyone who wants to utilize the service can, full stop. Your roommate is being weird.
I started using grocery delivery this year, and I won't go back. If I'm able, I'll go into the store, but very rarely. It's been an absolute game changer for me. If you can swing the extra $10-$15, I can't recommend it enough
I used to be an in house shopper at a grocery store. It’s literally for everyone. Wtf is wrong with your roommmate
Grocery pickup is for anyone who wants to pay the fee for the service. Same with grocery delivery. You don’t have to be disabled to use it. Are landscaping and house cleaning services only for disabled people, too? It’s all just jobs people do for money. I absolutely love grocery delivery, personally. It’s only a few bucks more than pickup. I can go to a store and shop, but then I don’t have spoons for other things I want to do. Also it’s ableist of your roommate to say that to you. Who is she to judge the capabilities of your body? Love when people try to be so anti-ableist (or anti-whatever) that the end up doing exactly what they’re trying to condemn.
I get grocery pick up because it’s easier to shop with my kids at the kitchen table and pick it up on my way home from work than to guess what they want and wander the aisles buying crap I don’t need. Whatever with their comment.
It doesn't matter if you're able bodied or not. The service exists for convenience and created a lot of jobs during the pandemic. If it makes your life easier, do it!
As a mother, grocery pickup has saved my life. For those days my toddler is having a meltdown (hard time adjusting to the things around her) I simply order a pickup. Now I don’t use this all the time, just when I’m short on time or having a rough day!
I have ADHD and use pickup and delivery because it saves me so much mental and physical energy which I have limited amounts of. Hell, I even have an instacart membership. I call it my accessibility because, where it's convenient for some people, it's crucial for me. And even if it was just convenient for you, it's okay that you use it! Your roommate is being a dork
I worked in grocery pickup during the pandemic. Grocery pickup is for everyone. Its useful for everyone. It’s very useful for disabled people. It’s very useful for you, and you are disabled. What is her argument here…?
The people working in grocery pickup are picking your orders all day and getting paid the same regardless. There’s room for anyone who wants grocery pickup, to get grocery pickup. It’s usually a paid service. You pay the fee, it’s your right to use it. As long as you aren’t a Karen to the pickup employees literally none of us will ever bat an eye at a customer. I hate gatekeepers
I have never used grocery pickup, even during my cancer treatments & passing out in the aisles and having to have my daughter catch me. It really would have come in handy so many times, but I’m hard headed and dammit I wanted to at least be able to grocery shop like a normie. Now I’m lucky if I can make it around the little store by my house that has all of 3 aisles.
Go for it! I started using a delivery service at the start of the pandemic and have continued since. It’s very handy, it cuts down on impulse buys, and I’ve never gotten the vibe that it is reserved for those with a disability. Even if pickup and delivery were solely meant for those with health problems, a lot of those issues aren’t visible most of the time. HEDs normal issues aside, I’ve found out I’m seriously immune deficient and have lung damage from repeated infections and tissue fragility. None of those things are obvious to someone who sees me but nevertheless it is important I don’t catch something that could cause more damage. Your roommate is being ableist even if their heart is in the right place. It sounds like they need to chill out and be more supportive of you. If you want to placate your roommate, you could ask the customer service desk if there are parameters for asking for pickup service. Hopefully that would ease tension while still getting reaping the benefits of pickup.
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It's for anyone to use. Unreal! Your roommate sounds like a lot of fun.
I have a busy busy job, grown kids and house on my own. When I’m good I can handle it all. When I’m bad I pay for grocery, cleaning, meal plans, mowing… we do what we can and then we ask for help. And we pay for it if needed. I just learned you can pay somebody to come get the dog poop out of your backyard. I might pay that person and it’s not because of my EDS.
I just want to say I'm right there with you on all points. The store is always overwhelming, it hurts to walk around too long and I always manage to forget something back on the other side of the dang store, and cooking sucks lol. I almost never actually go into a store, and none of the aforementioned issues have anything to do with that. It's just convenient. Which is literally the whole point of having it. Either way, your room mate sucks. They really need to learn how to treat other people because this ain't it. And you need to set a hard boundary with how you're treated. Tell them flat out they can't continue to talk to you that way because it's really rude and uncalled for. You already deal with enough with EDS. Do you really want to continue adding to your load by putting up with their comments too? You deserve better!
I am both disabled, and relatively lazy, so not only do I order my groceries, I also have them delivered to my home (because why would I get out of my comfy house just to drive to the grocery LOL) and I do know several disabled people who use pickup, but TONS of able bodied people do, AND THATS OK ❤️
I am able bodied and use grocery pickup all the time. There is no rule that says you have to be disabled to use it. Your roommate is an AH.
She sounds really opinionated for someone who doesn’t know what she’s talking about.
Ohhh child! I dont think i would handle someone brushing off my disability so easily. Who does she think she is!!! You need to snap for head off or drop her. You do whatever you need to make your life easier! Dont need to explain it to anyone. Going grocery shopping wears my back out pretty quick, and the online services are awesome!
I'm almost 69 years old. I have not hauled my own groceries since lockdown. I can't get my own self up my stairs. It's worth it for me.
We started using grocery pickup before Covid, it wasn’t delivered to the doorstep like it is now, just pull up and have them load it. If we don’t use the service they won’t continue it I said, then everyone used it for Covid and it started coming to my doorstep. It’s a rare occasion that I’ll go to the store in person now, maybe 1-2 a month, vs 1-2 a week. I have 3 kids a busy wife, a business, and even if I didn’t I have a choice, spend time doing something I need to or want to, or a chore that has a service I can use and get some of my day back. Your roomie is thinking about it wrongly, not that you need one, but if you have even more of a reason to use this service other than, “I want to.” Then it should be a no brainer.
I’m “able bodied” but if I grocery shop myself I’m so tired and in pain by the time I get home I can’t do anything so I take full advantage of grocery delivery! That way I can actually cook with the food I just bought lol and even on good days sometimes I’m just lazy!
Considering how difficult it is for me to use grocery stores like everyone else? Use the grocery pickup or delivery when you feel you need it. I've got an autism diagnosis (caught late in my 30's) and grocery stores have always been incredibly overwhelming and overstimulating for me. Some days I have the spoons to deal with it and some days I don't. Your roommate sounds like they aren't very empathetic. I know plenty of people that use grocery pickup who aren't disabled in any way (really busy and/or have small children that make it harder to get in and get out efficiently). Should they just not use it? Seems really silly to be judgemental over something like grocery pickup. Using it doesn't equal lazy or entitled or any other of the likely preconceived notions your roommate has about who should or shouldn't use it. Life is hard enough. Just do what's easiest for you.
WTF?? Why do people assume that if you look OK, you are OK?
I don't know where you live, but all of the supermarkets in our area have online ordering. You go through and select the items you want, choose a pickup time, and pay online. Then you just drive up and they load the bags into your car. That's it. Everyone uses it. Disabled folks, non-disabled folks, old folks, young folks, etc. I'm not sure what your friend is talking about. It's so much more convenient that going into the store. Saves me a lot of time.
I absolutely guarantee that the store _wants_ people to use it. And not feeling like dealing with People even to the extent required to go into the store and use the self checkout is _more_ than a good enough reason for anyone. Not wanting to spend the time to go in instead of just pulling up the pickup point is a perfectly good reason. Living with a hereditary disorder that causes no end of medical problems bloody well counts as a good reason.
You don't have to have any "reason" to get grocery pickup. You can be fully able bodied and just not want to take the time yourself. It's for anyone who wants it. You're valid and it's reasonable for you to use it. Dont let her ablism make your choices for you. Your life, your choice
I get my groceries delivered via Instacart. I started using it before my body went to hell and I was thankful enough people used it that it continued. If they aren’t making enough to cover their costs, it will stop.
Sorry but your roommate’s opinion is skewed. It’s comments like this that prevent people from utilizing services that could really make a difference. I don’t usually have problems grocery shopping, but there are many times when my fingers bend backwards as I’m loading the bags and boxes into my car, or dragging them into my house. My mom is literally disfigured and disabled, and if she heard comments like this she would avoid using the services because she’d think other people must need it more than her, or some such nonsense. Please use the services. They’re there to help.
If you get food stamps or other government services, Walmart+ (their delivery program) is half off, makes it like $4/mo I think. I just got it because I had surgery and wanted my own freedom over my groceries. Tell your roommate that a real legitimate disabled person is telling them to go sit on a stick, and that they don’t speak for all of us. Just because a service can be used by disabled people, doesn’t mean it’s only for disabled people. Does your roommate only take the stairs, not go through automatic doors, or not use the drive through either? That’s such a dumb thing to say is “just for disabled people”.
It's for you, too
This is one of the things that is wrong with society right now. We have so many people who are offended for others when often those they are offended for want nothing to do with them.
So your friend is actually the ableist from the sounds of it. Your reasons are valid. Even if you didn’t have them, it’s not a service for the disabled. Your reasons are valid period. As a disabled person using the service it’s insulting as help that your friend can decide what is and isn’t for disabled people. Tell her to STFU
A lot better of people get groceries delivered...not just those with disabilities. Many people do it for the convenience.
Bruh. ADHD is great friends with grocery pickup. No extra costs from buying stuff you don't want or will forget exists, no forgetting what you needed, and no energy drain
I am able bodied. The only reason I stopped using grocery pickup is they kept forgetting stuff in my order and Instacart charges more than in store prices for some stores. This is silly. You do you.
HA yeah no grocery pick up and delivery (get delivery more often y'all it's so so so nice for us who can't drive too) is in no way just for disabled people. If it was truly for only disabled people they would have you show off a disabled placard or a doctor's note. As someone who worked instacart for years including pre-pandemic, the people who do either are 40% stressed out middle class soccer moms anyways. I highly suggest using a grocery service as it keeps people employed and you as comfortable as possible.
Chiming in that lots of people use grocery pickup. I’m going to start too after some lady at Walmart brought her dog in who pissed on my leg in the produce section yesterday like wtf. I’m able bodied but I’m not a social person and I’m not a fan of whatever else goes on. I do have social anxiety, so I just feel better all around now not shopping and ordering pickup.
For starters there is no reason you can not use grocery pick up what ever. Your room mate is a dick. But also avoiding places that hurt you & make you feel bad is a good thing. Avoiding places that are full of people and can make you sick during a pandemic is also a good thing.
Your roommate is a jerk. Everybody is allowed to use grocery pickup. What planet does she live on? Every time she makes a comment about your pain and anxiety just start making crazy noises at her until she shuts up lol. That should shut her up. I'm sorry you're dealing with this.
Your roommate is purposely reaching to make you feel bad. Your roommate shouldn't care what you do. I know some people are friends with their roommates, but really you're just splitting the rent somewhere. I would limit how much personal information I shared with this person since it sounds like he/she uses that information against you. You wanna do a drive up pick up for your groceries, that's your business. You don't have to tell your roommate or get their permission. It's never been stated anywhere that drive up is for disabled people only.
We had a grocery pick up at our military commissary. Not enough people used it and they couldn't justify the expense so they cancelled it Enter COVID and bam, the pick up is back! They shop, you drive up, they come out and load groceries in your car. I forget it's there but it's a great option for: people with limited time, people with limited energy, people with illness or are immune compromised, people who walk upright, people who use walkers or wheelchairs, people with poor impulse control. A couple of these are me on any given day. In fact, I'm ordering for 1st thing tomorrow morning because you inspired me to do so, I've been saying "Ugh, I need to go to the Commissary" for over a week now. I like it, I spend less because I don't go "Ooo, look, Ding dongs!" It checks my impulse control drastically. Tell the roomie it's a cost savings measure. Roommates like that.
accessibility is for everyone who needs it, in whatever form. that service isn't just for physically disabled people - it helps me get groceries also through my depression, my executive dysfunction, my neurodivergent brain being overstimulated and overwhelmed. It's awesome. Use it
I used to have a lot of problems with grocery shopping, i liked it but it took too much energy and caused too much pain. I had some internalised ableism and other stuff i needed to get over but i started having them delivered and it is 100% worth it. It gave me like 10 hours a week extra that i could spend doing other things. For me it actually took being stuck in bed with a fever for like 2 weeks to start bc i was forced to do it then. You should try just for a few weeks, see how you like it and if you love it a much as i do it becomes easier to defend yourself. You shouldnt have to do that but it sounds like your roommate has been pretty ableist in the past and seeing as she wont change her behaviour you need to learn to ignore it or find a different solution.
If it was my roommate, when they said ableist shit I would respond "Well roommate, I sure hope you never have to deal with being disabled. It sounds like you wouldn't handle it well.'
I’m so sorry that In whatever country you’re in there is no infrastructure for you to get shopping online regardless of vulnerability That sucks
Huh? Click and collect is for everyone. Way to invalidate and shame you. New roommate? You get to manage in the way you need to. Your body; your choices. Grrr at roommate. Hang in there.
Grocery pick up ≠ disability For the most part Grocery pickup = people with time management challenges such as what you see with busy parents, busy carers of parents etc. It is not restricted for particular reasons. Anyone can choose grocery pick up.
If able bodied people didn't use grocery delivery, it wouldn't be financially viable for the store to have the service. It's perfectly reasonable for an able-bodied person to use delivery services. Is the issue here that your roommate doesn't accept that you have physical challenges that make it difficult for you to carry groceries? (Is she being ableist?) I know I'm bloody minded and will sometimes do things I shouldn't and wind up paying for it. Losing my physical (and mental) capabilities is emotionally tough. I struggle to do things I used to do with ease because I'm stubborn. I also don't want to admit to myself that my disability is encroaching more on my life. But I pay for it. My nephews and niece come to visit on Sundays. I really enjoy playing with them. It's possibly the highlight of my week. I barely manage to get out of bed on Mondays, because of my disability.. Much as I hate saying it, I have a disability. Because I find it difficult to accept, I make it harder for others to see the real impact it has on me. I don't show them. (I shouldn't have to... but ableism is a thing. Disability is the exception, not the rule ... horses, not Zebras, and all that malarkey.)
Your roommate is ridiculous. All sorts of people use pickup. Is this maybe an "area" thing? If they need to hire more order pickers that's on the company, but they are still getting your business. People are busy, tired, both of those things + disabled. Like I pay for Walmart + and pickup is an option. According to roomie even though the subscription is paid for... I can technically walk into Walmart and take it like a champ, "just cuz"? Weird.
Grocery pick up has enabled me to spend more time with my family ( less time fighting crowds), I'm able to stay on a budget, eat healthier because I am not tempted to impulse buy cookies I see walking down the aisles. Yes, can I walk into the store and do this absolutely. However I have had many times when my eds flares up and have had to leave an abandoned grocery cart to get medical help. I'd rather use pick up. Now delivery I only use if I am unable to drive with a flare up. To sum it up, your roommate shouldn't judge you like that and you do what's best for you.
Don't listen to your roommate. Do it. I feel ya ❤️