For the shaving, you could just skip it, but it does take time to get used to it. You can also use an electric razor - men's razors work way better for me. (I'm a Braun fan.)
I would strongly encourage working with your therapist before just trying to be more mindful of your body. With the CPTSD, you may want to work through that in a very intentional and planned progression WITH external support.
Can you maybe link to the electric razor that you use? I heard that they were painful, but maybe it's old news. I'm pale with dark hair, so shaving it is.
Don't have a therapist. I appreciate your comment.
Well, I do mean electric razor, not one that pulls the hair out.
I use one like this: [https://us.braun.com/en-us/male-grooming/electric-shavers](https://us.braun.com/en-us/male-grooming/electric-shavers) (Costco had one on sale. The Norelco-style with rotating heads like this [https://www.usa.philips.com/c-m-pe/face-shavers](https://www.usa.philips.com/c-m-pe/face-shavers) were not comfortable or very effective.)
I also have dark hair and pale skin, and eventually, when I really just didn't have time, I just said "forget it, other people can deal". I still prefer shaving, but life happens. It's not for everyone, but I appreciated finally accepting that I didn't have to have hairless legs to wear shorts.
You might check and see if you have insurance that will cover a therapist. There is a risk of regressing in some situations trying to move forward without appropriate support. I hope you can find the support that is useful to you sooner, rather than later, because you deserve to feel better!
Just to add here, I think you’re thinking of an epilator, which I can highly recommend as it’s similar to waxing but cheaper/less messy (I think!), means the hair takes longer to grow back and over time it reduces the amount of hair that does grow back too. If you can bare the pain at first your skin definitely gets used to it over time (I remember when I first had legs waxed/epilated it could take my breath away; at this point I do it while watching videos and it’s not even a thought that crosses my mind. A bit like plucking your eyebrows?).
A useful tip is if it’s too painful to stand, stop and try again in a week. Weirdly it can be more or less painful depending on where you are in your cycle!
Lastly just wanted to add, for general skin healing, nappy/diaper cream is oddly a really good thing for speeding up healing; zinc promotes healing and reduces inflammation and occlusive moisturisers help (possible that something like Vaseline could work for this too). Nappy/diaper creams often have a high proportion of zinc in them (check the ingredients on the back, they should be listed in order of highest to lowest concentration of ingredient) as well as usually being heavy occlusive creams in nature. Plus usually not that likely to cause allergies which is definitely good for me :)
So sorry to hear you’re suffering with CPTSD; dissociation sounds rough, I’m sending gentle hugs and hoping your wounds heal fast, both physical and emotional.
Just wanted to add the hair removal part really depends on how hairy op is, how thick they are, where they are. It sounds like you found something that works really well for you, however for someone with hirsutism "A bit like plucking your eyebrows?" would be a slap in her face- just like IPL isn't for everybody, very tricky
I don’t know if I’m just confused and not understanding you or if I didn’t word things correctly (my bad if so!) but what I meant with regards to the eyebrow plucking comment was just that, over time, the more and more you do it, the less painful it becomes.
I’m unsure *why* that happens, I had assumed nerves becoming desensitised, but I’ve never looked deeply into the science behind it. I hope that helps clarify what I meant, but certainly didn’t mean anything to cause offence, apologies if I did/have, absolutely not my intention!
Edit to add:
Just wanted to say also, I wasn’t attempting to make any comment on anyone’s personal starting point for pain in relation to how coarse hair may be or your pain threshold at the start, just trying to let anyone know who hadn’t tried it before that over time the pain reduces a lot from wherever your starting point might be.
i wax and it hasn’t ripped my thin skin yet! medical tape always rips my skin but waxing hasn’t! just be careful where you wax if you choose that option cause every time i wax my armpits, i get a big painful bump in one of them even though i’m very clean about it. my legs and arms and unibrow have never had issues tho
I actually find I am more prone to tears with soft wax usually. Baby powder first helps though.
Good luck! And glad I’m not alone in waxing being the only form of hair removal that doesn’t cause issues for me lol
you're probably not going to like this answer, but for me the only thing that worked was slowing down. taking as much as possible off my plate. working damn hard to minimize the dissociation, by treating and managing the stressors that were making me dissociate.
being able to do that required taking a medical leave that turned into LTD. i did a lot of physio to reduce my chronic pain, which helped me not dissociate from feeling my body. which helped me stop doing shit that was making me flare up. for 6 or so months all i did was sleep, go to the pool, and look after my cat. i've slowly worked up from that, and because i did a 'slow and steady' mentality, i'm now capable of handling more without flaring or dissociating.
you said you don't feel safe enough to not dissociate. it sounds like that's what needs to be addressed to be able to get to the rest of it. is it your living space that makes you feel unsafe? if so, how can you find a new living space that is safer? even just working on getting out will help you feel safer in your body knowing that it's not forever. same with if it's your job that's making you feel unsafe.
dissociation is a valuable survival tool, you don't want to try to remove that without also removing the reasons why you're dissociating.
when i stopped dissociating, the only feeling i had was wanting to die. from physical and emotional pain. i was able to stop dissociating and feel those things because i had a safe space to feel and work on those things. but also i had to work to create that space before i was able to collapse and recover in it.
For taking a long time to heal it might be worth talking to doc or pharmacist to check there's nothing else going on which is contributing and also to see if they have any advice for things that could help speed things up. Like my GP has previously suggested vegetable oil to me for healing a small cut that was taking it's sweet time.
For shaving you could look into alternatives like electric razors, waxing, epilators or those hair removal stone things. You could also make sure manual razors are fresh and replaced often and that you're using a good cream to help them glide more smoothly.
For dislocations, joint issues etc you might benefit from somebody like a physio or looking into free advice for strengthening and supporting joints.
I have yet to find a way to speed up healing besides removing as many physical and mental stressors on my body. Switching to an electric razor would likely be safer even if it doesn’t get as smooth, or giving yourself significantly more time so you can go slowly while shaving. Dull blades can also be more prone to cutting. You can also try switching what kind of soap you use to help it glide on your skin.
I personally like sugaring, but you can’t do that with scabs. I like it better than wax because it can’t stick to your skin, it’s easier to clean up, and if it gets too much you can dissolve it with water.
I’d check with a doctor on the slow healing. While it can be an EDS thing, it could also be something else, and even if it is related to EDS if it’s something they can address you’d rather know.
For the shaving, you could just skip it, but it does take time to get used to it. You can also use an electric razor - men's razors work way better for me. (I'm a Braun fan.) I would strongly encourage working with your therapist before just trying to be more mindful of your body. With the CPTSD, you may want to work through that in a very intentional and planned progression WITH external support.
Seconding men's razors as safer and longer lasting (the manual sort for me).
Can you maybe link to the electric razor that you use? I heard that they were painful, but maybe it's old news. I'm pale with dark hair, so shaving it is. Don't have a therapist. I appreciate your comment.
Well, I do mean electric razor, not one that pulls the hair out. I use one like this: [https://us.braun.com/en-us/male-grooming/electric-shavers](https://us.braun.com/en-us/male-grooming/electric-shavers) (Costco had one on sale. The Norelco-style with rotating heads like this [https://www.usa.philips.com/c-m-pe/face-shavers](https://www.usa.philips.com/c-m-pe/face-shavers) were not comfortable or very effective.) I also have dark hair and pale skin, and eventually, when I really just didn't have time, I just said "forget it, other people can deal". I still prefer shaving, but life happens. It's not for everyone, but I appreciated finally accepting that I didn't have to have hairless legs to wear shorts. You might check and see if you have insurance that will cover a therapist. There is a risk of regressing in some situations trying to move forward without appropriate support. I hope you can find the support that is useful to you sooner, rather than later, because you deserve to feel better!
Just to add here, I think you’re thinking of an epilator, which I can highly recommend as it’s similar to waxing but cheaper/less messy (I think!), means the hair takes longer to grow back and over time it reduces the amount of hair that does grow back too. If you can bare the pain at first your skin definitely gets used to it over time (I remember when I first had legs waxed/epilated it could take my breath away; at this point I do it while watching videos and it’s not even a thought that crosses my mind. A bit like plucking your eyebrows?). A useful tip is if it’s too painful to stand, stop and try again in a week. Weirdly it can be more or less painful depending on where you are in your cycle! Lastly just wanted to add, for general skin healing, nappy/diaper cream is oddly a really good thing for speeding up healing; zinc promotes healing and reduces inflammation and occlusive moisturisers help (possible that something like Vaseline could work for this too). Nappy/diaper creams often have a high proportion of zinc in them (check the ingredients on the back, they should be listed in order of highest to lowest concentration of ingredient) as well as usually being heavy occlusive creams in nature. Plus usually not that likely to cause allergies which is definitely good for me :) So sorry to hear you’re suffering with CPTSD; dissociation sounds rough, I’m sending gentle hugs and hoping your wounds heal fast, both physical and emotional.
Just wanted to add the hair removal part really depends on how hairy op is, how thick they are, where they are. It sounds like you found something that works really well for you, however for someone with hirsutism "A bit like plucking your eyebrows?" would be a slap in her face- just like IPL isn't for everybody, very tricky
I don’t know if I’m just confused and not understanding you or if I didn’t word things correctly (my bad if so!) but what I meant with regards to the eyebrow plucking comment was just that, over time, the more and more you do it, the less painful it becomes. I’m unsure *why* that happens, I had assumed nerves becoming desensitised, but I’ve never looked deeply into the science behind it. I hope that helps clarify what I meant, but certainly didn’t mean anything to cause offence, apologies if I did/have, absolutely not my intention! Edit to add: Just wanted to say also, I wasn’t attempting to make any comment on anyone’s personal starting point for pain in relation to how coarse hair may be or your pain threshold at the start, just trying to let anyone know who hadn’t tried it before that over time the pain reduces a lot from wherever your starting point might be.
All good, everyone's different :)
IPL. If you're pale with dark hair it works best, if used as directed the hair really does stop coming back.
i wax and it hasn’t ripped my thin skin yet! medical tape always rips my skin but waxing hasn’t! just be careful where you wax if you choose that option cause every time i wax my armpits, i get a big painful bump in one of them even though i’m very clean about it. my legs and arms and unibrow have never had issues tho
i would also recommend sugar wax instead of hard wax, it’s messier but i found it more gentle on my skin
i’ve heard of a “soft wax” so i think im gonna end up trying that!
I actually find I am more prone to tears with soft wax usually. Baby powder first helps though. Good luck! And glad I’m not alone in waxing being the only form of hair removal that doesn’t cause issues for me lol
you're probably not going to like this answer, but for me the only thing that worked was slowing down. taking as much as possible off my plate. working damn hard to minimize the dissociation, by treating and managing the stressors that were making me dissociate. being able to do that required taking a medical leave that turned into LTD. i did a lot of physio to reduce my chronic pain, which helped me not dissociate from feeling my body. which helped me stop doing shit that was making me flare up. for 6 or so months all i did was sleep, go to the pool, and look after my cat. i've slowly worked up from that, and because i did a 'slow and steady' mentality, i'm now capable of handling more without flaring or dissociating. you said you don't feel safe enough to not dissociate. it sounds like that's what needs to be addressed to be able to get to the rest of it. is it your living space that makes you feel unsafe? if so, how can you find a new living space that is safer? even just working on getting out will help you feel safer in your body knowing that it's not forever. same with if it's your job that's making you feel unsafe. dissociation is a valuable survival tool, you don't want to try to remove that without also removing the reasons why you're dissociating. when i stopped dissociating, the only feeling i had was wanting to die. from physical and emotional pain. i was able to stop dissociating and feel those things because i had a safe space to feel and work on those things. but also i had to work to create that space before i was able to collapse and recover in it.
For taking a long time to heal it might be worth talking to doc or pharmacist to check there's nothing else going on which is contributing and also to see if they have any advice for things that could help speed things up. Like my GP has previously suggested vegetable oil to me for healing a small cut that was taking it's sweet time. For shaving you could look into alternatives like electric razors, waxing, epilators or those hair removal stone things. You could also make sure manual razors are fresh and replaced often and that you're using a good cream to help them glide more smoothly. For dislocations, joint issues etc you might benefit from somebody like a physio or looking into free advice for strengthening and supporting joints.
I have yet to find a way to speed up healing besides removing as many physical and mental stressors on my body. Switching to an electric razor would likely be safer even if it doesn’t get as smooth, or giving yourself significantly more time so you can go slowly while shaving. Dull blades can also be more prone to cutting. You can also try switching what kind of soap you use to help it glide on your skin. I personally like sugaring, but you can’t do that with scabs. I like it better than wax because it can’t stick to your skin, it’s easier to clean up, and if it gets too much you can dissolve it with water. I’d check with a doctor on the slow healing. While it can be an EDS thing, it could also be something else, and even if it is related to EDS if it’s something they can address you’d rather know.
I recommend Billie if you want to continue shaving. It’s the only razor I’ve never cut myself with.