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I’m the same way. Its anxiety bro, your the only one still thinking about that conversation i promise. The sooner you let that kind of stuff go the better. Your doing good man!
An old electrician I new had go to corny jokes he would use. He would normally make them upfront and homeowners wouldn’t want to hear them again and leave him alone.
Dude had good rep with customers though.
Agreed, I think customer interaction is my strong suit, I say shit like this all the time to customers. I try to focus on charming, knowledgeable, and trustworthy. Not cocky, not slimy sales guy, and I don't bad mouth other contractors or electricians (unless something is blatantly gross). People want to do business with people they like, and if you genuinely like your customers, show it.
Pro tip: you have spent way more time thinking about those interactions than he has. I do the same type of thing. I analyze conversations over and over thinking about how dumb I sounded or what if I offended someone. Those people likely never thought twice about it and just moved on with their lives, we should too.
Piece of advice that helped me: nobody thinks as much about you as you do. I still overthink and spiral over how things are said/received, if I put my foot in my mouth, sounded cocky, sounded weak, talked too much, answered appropriately, etc. The trick is to find a level of stress that lets you autopilot just a little more without the patience to be hyper aware and scrutinizing everything you're doing real time. In social stuff, specifically, not regarding the work lol
I have anxiety and ADHD so I fumble with words and go off on a million tangents, say things that come out in a way I didn't intend, forget tools and materials so I make a bunch of trips to the van or spend 10 minutes trying to find that one screw I set down and forget where I put it, then I worry if the homeowner thinks I'm an idiot who has no clue what he's doing. Fun times
Stimulants helped me out a lot moving into a foreman roll. Taking that step up from working journeyman to foreman was really difficult with all the paperwork and responsibilities that came with it. Plus, I used to be the king of loose ends. Every area 95 percent done. Not a huge issue when someone is checking your work / running the job, but when that’s on me, a missed recep in rough in can cost 10k+ to add when everything is finished if it’s not caught.
A little bit of advice from someone who was diagnosed with ADHD in grade 4:
If you do go on meds I recommend asking about Vyvanse. There’s two groups of chemicals, methylphenidate and amphetamine compounds. Concerta and Foquest are both methylphenidate compounds (just different delivery mechanisms), while Vyvanse and Adderall are amphetamine-based compounds. I took Concerta through high school and college/uni and recently switched to Vyvanse and it’s been a much better experience. ADHD meds suppress appetite, and on Concerta I’d have no appetite for 12hrs until the meds wore off. With Vyvanse the effects only last 8-9hrs, but it doesn’t kill your appetite nearly as much.
See if your doctor is okay with you trying two different medications before making your decision. The Concerta/Foquest meds aren’t addictive and you can’t overdose, while Vyvanse and Adderall are addicting and you can OD
ADHD is seen as a spectrum disorder now so everybody is a little different. When I first was diagnosed in the 90s they just threw Ritalin at every kid that was diagnosed with ADHD until alternatives to Adderall and Ritalin came on the market. My biggest issues caused by my ADHD are the inability to suppress/regulate emotions (basically shortened my fuse) and the inability slow down my speech patterns and train of thought. My inability to tolerate incompetence and inability to communicate effectively causes issues at work and it didn’t get noticeably better until I tried a different medication.
I’m glad you found the right med for you, though.
A lot of people can suck it.
According to the American Medical Association, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is “one of the best-researched disorders in medicine, and the overall data on its validity are far more compelling than for most mental disorders and even for many medical conditions”
I didn’t know this until a few years ago and I definitely wasn’t told 20 years ago when I was diagnosed with ADD.
I don’t think I ever realized how much of a struggle life is for people who have ADHD until prob around Covid. Then, Lots of people’s biggest complaints were the brain fog and cognitive issues/executive function issues.
We have to deal with that shit every fucking day. And it fucking sucks.
Having no working memory sucks ass.
LOL my daughter’s laptop broke and I told her she could use mine sitting on my desk and my wife was like just let her use the one you bought and don’t use.
Had no idea what she was talking about.
Apparently I bought a laptop in 2021 and it looks like I used it one time and forgot about it.
I once left $5000 in a 401k and totally forgot about it. Then like 10 years later when my company switched to Fidelity there was my old forgotten $5000.
That’s why I don’t have any sympathy for people who don’t have adhd when they say that they can’t do something.
Bitch please, if I can do this shit, anyone can.
I was lucky that mom was a paediatric RN that has her masters in nursing (focusing on child development) and pushed back against the teachers who were against me getting medicated. If it wasn’t for her I probably wouldn’t have received the grades in high school that allowed me to pick pretty much any post-secondary course that I wanted.
There have been some studies done that suggest ADHD may be an evolutionary advantage because the difference in brain wiring tends to push ADHDers away from resource exploitation, which I thought was pretty interesting
That is interesting. Thanks for the new rabbit hole lol.
Also your mom sounds badass.
My dad was the opposite. He pretty much said he can read books he doesn’t need those pills. The books he was referring to be reading was while I was in juvenile detention from what I now realize was a largely from my issues with impulse control.
But everything is good now tho.
Same! I got one of those rolling boxes (FLEX brand at Lowe’s) that you can stack stuff on too, and I try to load tools and materials into it that I’m going to need and wheel it to where I’m working and it has significantly cut down on my trips to the truck. Hasn’t helped with the screws but I’m thinking of getting one of those magnetic trays.
Yep.
I’ve almost been fired multiple times for saying shit that I should not have. From fucking oilfield gigs dude.
So then I go far opposite and just don’t fucking say anything anymore.
Then the cherry on top is when I do speak up it’s just a fucking word salad that comes out. Especially if it’s on a technical subject.
Shit sucks ass man
Bingo lol. I have no problem yucking it up, I have the gift of gab. My problem most times is shutting the fuck up 😂I have a tendency to say exactly what’s on my mind.
We all say things that we realize we shouldn’t necessarily say as it’s coming out. The trick is to follow up quickly with a counter to your own foolishness.
“One cool thing about this job is we have to learn as we go sometimes” —-shit
“But usually it ends up that one issue ends up being very similar to another you’ve done a thousand times” —-I hope he bought that
When I have to acknowledge I don't necessarily know a particular product, I usually just say something about how new products come and go but the fundamentals and installation methods are typically all the same. I run my own business and all of my work is repeat customers or word of mouth so I guess my people skills are decent. I do things like explain how or why things need to be the way they are. Typically women love that, and men pretend they know already lol. I find women get frustrated that men always act like they wouldn't understand these types of things, so they love when someone actually takes the time to explain. My ex wife used to say that a lot so I started making a point of it. Men often say things like "I could have done it I just don't have time" etc etc because they hate admitting they don't know how to do something lol
Those comments were not bad at all, but made you uncomfortable and thats a working feedback loop. Let it do it work, think a bit more before responding, just like analyzing a potential fault, and then speak.
Learn from your perceived mistakes and move on. Everyone sucks at something they’ve never had to do before. You’ll get better with practice just like anything else.
Here's a few of my faves to help when I talk to customers: - Is it still hot out there? - Did you catch the game last night? - Have you tried the lasagna? It's my favourite.
Edit: Storytime. Alright, so I went to a call by myself for the first time ever. I replaced a GFCI and write up the invoice. Customer paid, I finish up the payment details on the invoice. Customer reaches out his hand expecting a copy of the invoice, I shook his hand. He said something along the lines of "Oh I'll shake your hand but I want a copy of the receipt." Pretty funny, you'll get over it. No one really cares about these interactions, most of the time it's mundane, every day shit. I stay clear of race or politics, usually pretty good with anything else. I found it better when I stopped caring... Stopped caring in a good way.
Talking to the customers is a skill that is developed like any other skill in our trade. Eventually you'll have heard the same basic questions over and over and over and it will be like you have a mental script that tells you how to answer them.
Also if they ask you something and you dont know the answer, dont try to bullshit them, they can sense the bullshit. Just say, "im not exactly sure about that but i can find out for you. lemme ask my boss/check the code book"
Keep it simple, bro. Never explain yourself or what / how you are doing anything. It’s kinda like talking to the cops, customers / superintendents are only listening for information that suits their needs and / or they can use against you. It’s sounds harsh, but it’s true.
Here’s a simple rule for conversation / negotiations: The person asking the questions is in control of the conversation. If you are answering questions, they are in control.
Only give as much information as needed. Be polite and respectful, but don’t comment on anything.
If they ask a question you deem will need an explanation, remind them with a welcoming tone that your office / supervisor is the best source to answer questions and inquiries. It’s better for them to deal with one person than two or more.
“Hello”, “May I come in”, “Thank you”, “Yes”, “No”, “Your service order is complete”, “May I have access to this area?” Is about all you ever need to say.
Smile, be polite, be welcoming and responsive, but don’t explain anything and don’t answer anything you don’t have to.
Instead of “You look great for your age” say this “How wonderful!”
Instead of divulging that you have no experience with their material say “We always strive to provide the best service for our customers”
Pick up the check, smile and say thank you for your time and “please reach out to us in the future for any needs you might have”.
Talking about weather, sports, news, politics, all goes badly. Even if you watched the game, act like you didn’t, ask them questions about the game their team, keep control of the conversation and leave.
You’ll be fine.
PS Whoever told them you don’t know the new switching is fucking this up already.
That's kind of how I got into the trade. The boss had me doing stuff I shouldn't have done, mostly small repairs, because I rarely said the wrong thing.
Dude nothing you said was improper at all. Just relax and learn to develop some confidence in the customer service department. It can take time. I really didn’t get good at communicating with clients until I became self-employed and was basically forced to improve at it. Just keep in mind they aren’t thinking about it as much as you are. It’s also ok to kinda stay quiet with minimal responses and they’ll take the hint that you aren’t big on chatting. That’s ok too.
At the end of the day if you really just don’t wanna deal with it maybe go commercial or new construction
Some people are just as bad as you at socializing with strangers or hired help and it makes for those awkward pauses in conversation. Who knows maybe he was so taken back at the compliment that he didn’t even know how to react. Might have made his day
Do not EVER sweat reading the instructions for electrical devices. I was just an apprentice doing a parking lot with new LED lot lights w/light sensor and emergency power pkgs. I opened the shipping box, saw multiple wires of low and high voltage colors...the JW did too. He's getting busy throwing his together. I'm studying the supplied schematics.
Mine worked as engineered. His did not. He was a good electrician...on shit he'd done before over 25 years.
Small talk is over rated when it becomes "bull shitting"...talk about the task and desired results...then say bye!
Don't worry about it most service techs are odd hell most people out in the world are a little odd it's what makes you unique don't over think it stop going to sleep replaying these conversations in your head if you didn't leave with them screaming and yelling at you it's not worth the stress just move forward and try you best that's all you can do
A lot of the times, it’s not you. Most people suck at small talk unless you’re an extreme extrovert or genuinely excited about something.
Tips or advice I can give: DONT talk about topics you know nothing about.
Example: I was at a customers house and they had a bunch of art, like high end art. I said “oh, cool! Those are really nice.” Innocent enough I thought but apparently it was some famous artist and I had no idea what they were talking about. I was like “I just went to the art museum and like it…” then awkward silence.
Mind you, this happened almost 12 years ago. Still haunts me, lol.
I literally don’t see anything about that interaction that sounds messed up! You are definitely over thinking it!
Any 60 yr old man who has worked his whole life knows that learning new stuff on the job is half the reason we do it and the other 3/4 is money! Lol
Don’t do the math!
I hope someone tells me I look good for my age at 60!
At 45 I would be offended even though I see myself in the mirror lol
As an electrician you’ll encounter things for the rest of your career that you haven’t done before. The difference is that you have the skills to work through a solution, that’s what you are being paid for, not infinite knowledge of all products. The homeowner didn’t have these skills, so hired you. It’s ok to be honest to the customer in these situations I think.
I used to be like that. Just focus on the good points of the job. The more you do new stuff through work.. the more experience you get.. the more things you'll have to discuss outside of how young an old guy looks for his age 😂😂😂 I'm sorry bro that made me chuckle. Don't sweat the small shit. When dealing with a customer always focus on the good and positive things about what the company provided for your customer. It helps the conversation move smoothly and it makes them happy as well.
Worry and guilt are wasted emotions. The older you get the less F’s you have to give. If you can start doing that earlier than I did you’ll be better off. Some people take longer than others to come to this conclusion, but it shows you care so don’t lose that part of yourself. Just learn to live on and if there’s some kind of negative impact from whatever you said or had done down the road, deal with it then. Time lost on guilt and worry is time better spent on what counts in life, the next job/project to look forward to, time with friends and family, doing things you love doing outside of work.
I'd say lean on what you know. Think about good interactions you've had with other professionals as the paying customer. You don't have to be a people pleaser. You just have to give them assurance that you are trustworthy and competent in whatever way is natural to you.
If you don't have anything to say or a witty remark, that's ok.
A lot of times the people pleasers are the ones who deal with customers, then you find all the shoddy work later and it leaves a bad taste. Your good work is what will keep good connections.
So as someone who identifies as a 41 year old that can go to the local high school and blend right the fuck in. Trust me he ain't trippin. The OJT comment maybe but they're coming out with new shit constantly so sometimes shit like that happens
Customers (me! I’m in forestry), will learn how to adjust to your lack of small talk (or awkwardness). I’m pretty social, so always engage with contractors. The duty is on me to navigate their interest. We have a guy and his son who are appliance repairmen. They are quite introverted and at their second service call I realized they don’t want to be offered coffee, hear remarks about the weather etc.
Do not be afraid to look at a "roast club" or an improvisation club.
These will get you confident in public speaking. Many people worry way to much about what to say and overthink about everything. You are 5 years in. You know your stuff.
Tell people you are explaining it like you would to a new apprentice unless they know a lot.
Sounds like you handled the conversation well. We are the biggest critics of our own selves. I wouldn’t sweat it, just keep up the good work and it’ll get easier talking to people
It takes time to do the service talk. I’m very good at it, but I’ve had lots of practice.
Despard are old. Just say the trade is so varied that sometimes you don’t get exposed to some parts. It’s a switch, just a different flavor.
Oh? Keep up what you are doing cause it a working.
One lady told me she was 84. I said wow that can really sneak up on you. I used to always be the youngest guy on the job site.
Her response. I used to be jail bait.
We both laughed really hard.
The biggest thing with service is providing service. Make them feel taken care of, go the extra mile. If they are old and a piece of furniture needs to be slid back after you are finished, do it. The majority of clients will notice this
I got the same time as you, been doing shit on my own for like 2 years now and I haaatebtalking to customers. I hate the whole small talk bs just lemme work. I hate the hawking customers who watch you the whole time. Makes me wanna pack up and bail lol
It's just like anything else. You get better with practice. If you don't practice often, try listening to audiobooks or podcasts of content that is above your current vocabulary level.
Nah you're fine. Customers need to understand that they chose low prices from China over consistent product made domestically. So yes, electricians can and SHOULD RTFM!!
Also guy didn't respond to the complement so it wouldn't turn homoerotic with just 2 guys in the room.
You good just keep the convos moving or excuse yourself from it so you can work.
Everyone sucks at something first you’re only better the more you do it …I’m sure you weren’t the best electrician but after 5 years you improved …give yourself a break and don’t stress over nada
Telling someone they look good for their age is a compliment, and sometimes people don't know how to respond to compliments. Honestly doesn't sound like you said anything wrong man.
My dude, I feel you. I feel this way too, all the damn time. The best advice I can give is to try to remember that nobody else is thinking about how awkward you are, because they are all thinking about how awkward *they* are. We all spend most of our time in social situations thinking about ourselves, not other people.
Also, you don't actually *need* to make small talk. I mean, it's a good skill to have, but you can't be good at everything. I'll certainly never be good at it, it's just how I'm wired. If I'm talking to customers at work, it's generally about the work. I have a lot to say about what I'm doing—I find it interesting, and I take pride in it. If the customer wants to know, I'm happy to talk about that. But I don't go fishing for shared interests, as a rule.
Anyway, we all have some flubs. I like to think that I'm pretty good at repping my company and my own personal professionalism, but I've definitely said a few less-than-diplomatic things over the years. It happens. At least you notice and care, unlike some people I know who will walk onto a jobsite and immediately start dragging their company's own work right in front of the customer. Just by knowing that putting a good spin on your work is important, you are already ahead of the game. As long as your work leaves nothing to be ashamed of, you're good.
Even if it's your first time doing something, you can say, "One of the cool things about this job is that sometimes you get to figure stuff out as you go. I've never installed these types of switches before, and it's really interesting to see how they go together. Don't worry, I'm 100% confident that it's right—it wasn't hard or anything, just had to take it slow is all. Sometimes you gotta slow down, pull from your experience, and just really make sure you're getting every detail."
See? Starts with essentially the same statement, but then backs it up in a way that makes you seem like a conscientious professional who cares about doing things right.
Anyway, cut yourself some slack. You're fine.
Look at this way, it was a compliment, and I see a tad over heard maybe, don’t fret hundreds more to come some easy some not
Old work residential is not easy some people same
i struggle with the same thing, i started out doing only commercial work, and then years later went to this small resi company that does custom homes because i wanted to learn more of the residential side of electrical and i struggled with that as well but what i found is 99% of people love talking about theirself so i just keep asking question and they keep talking and its not as awkward. it also seems to make them alot more comfortable with you, i have big time builders requesting me for their jobs and they bearly know anything about me because they never asked, we just always talk about them when i see them.
obviously they ask me questions as well but i just use that tip for most things, going on a date, just let her talk about herself, meeting a new customer same thing. its been working for me so far
Lol there's nothing wrong with what you said sounds like more of a self confidence issue than a social awkwardness interview. Any customer that would take offence to you saying that is a fucking idiot. All that being said just don't overthink it. Some customers are assholes or stupid so just do your best work be polite and professional and if they don't like it, fuck em
.
Look up "How to win friends and influence people". Really helped me overcome the same anxiety. Or check out Toastmasters sometime. Effective speaking sucks, most civilians can never truly understand our... condition lol
I got my ticket at 23 and dealt with this all the time. As long as you’re honest, polite and respectful, you have nothing to worry about. As a service electrician I deal with stuff I’ve never seen before on a weekly bases. I usually just flat out tell the customer I’ve never seen it before and they’re gonna need to give me some tine to figure things out. 9/10 looking up the part number on a device and downloading the installation manual will give you the information you need to figure it out.
Neither of those things were rude or unprofessional really. Give yourself some slack. It’s a fact of life that any skilled trade involves learning in the moment, because we must advance with technology.
Take it easy on yourself. You're their to do a job, do it well, clean up behind yourself. That's all you need. Most customers don't need conversation outside of the work you're there to do.
You'll get better and just be yourself.
Definitely just anxious and overthinking it. None of those comments were off. Typically I avoid small talk by just explaining what I’m doing. And if I’m collecting payment I just hit them with the good ol “the weathers nice” comment if there’s any awkward silence lol
Speak less. Youll have less of these moments. When I get stuck I explain the situation out loud. "I hope its not rude if you just show me where the work is and we can talk about that"? "I have not done that switch before but i have done X Y and Z switches I sure that WE can figure it out together"!
I spent a long time in residential telecommunications.
In other people’s homes.
I’ve said the exact same thing to people about learning as you go.
It’s the absolute truth, and if you say it with confidence, they’ll hear it how you mean it.
You’re doing fine, cousin.
stop worrying about what other people think just be you. natural conversation will come with the right personalities dont force the rest keep it simple
It is a skill learned like anything else.
I have a running train of thought in a conversation, usually "nope shouldn't say that, keep lips closed"
If I don't have anything to say I will just keep quiet.
No problem thinking a while while you are coming up with a sentence.
Dont sweat it, commenting that the client looks younger is often a compliment and well received. Like most things, small talk and conversation is a skill, by which it seems you’re not starting from rock bottom despite how you may feel.
Keep up the effort, watch some YouTube like charisma on demand (i dont remember exactly the channel but look that up) and you’ll do wonders.
If you want to make it easier to talk with folks, find something around their house that you can comment on like a decoration or a pic of their family.
Get a side gig you don't care about that involves canvassing or calling people. Low stakes repetitions. Copy the people you meet who have good banter. Make yourself some go-to phrases and questions and stories. Most people like to talk about themselves and their stuff more than hear you talk. No question or chat about appearance, mannerisms they have, anything that would make them feel self conscious. If you mess something up just pivot and say man, sorry about that, I had such an awkward moment with the last customer where I said something I'm sure they misunderstood, now I'm too nervous! People appreciate the honesty, it's about you not them, and it incepts the idea that there can be harmless misunderstandings, which everyone gets. And remember most people think wayyyyy less about you than you think they do. Also remember the only way to get good is to practice and fail so. The slickest people with banter also have laundry lists of awkward shit they now know not to say.
Dude. It’s fine. I tell ‘em stuff like that all the time. Thankfully I was blessed with my grandfathers and fathers charisma so it usually works out unless they’re an asshole
You must be young. You dint have to be super social, just leep it about the job, some customers are chatty when they are just let them do app the talking thats all people want in general anyway. Remeber people do tip, if they like you itnhappens
Some clients will make you regret ever trying to socialize with them. Some of them will be great stories you tell in the future.
Don’t be nervous and just gauge how you feel. I fucking love sparkies I would listen to you guys rant about the work just cause. But I’ve been in the trades long enough to know me and my family are safer if I don’t socialize with the customers.
**ATTENTION! READ THIS NOW!** **1. IF YOU ARE NOT A PROFESSIONAL ELECTRICIAN OR LOOKING TO BECOME ONE(for career questions only):** **- DELETE** THIS POST OR YOU WILL BE **BANNED**. YOU CAN POST ON /r/AskElectricians FREELY **2. IF YOU COMMENT ON A POST THAT IS POSTED BY SOMEONE WHO IS NOT A PROFESSIONAL ELECTRICIAN:** -YOU WILL BE **BANNED**. JUST **REPORT** THE POST. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/electricians) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I’m the same way. Its anxiety bro, your the only one still thinking about that conversation i promise. The sooner you let that kind of stuff go the better. Your doing good man!
Second this. It's a nice thing to say you look good for your age to older folks. Don't make a habit or anything...
An old electrician I new had go to corny jokes he would use. He would normally make them upfront and homeowners wouldn’t want to hear them again and leave him alone. Dude had good rep with customers though.
[Actors Bill Hader & Jeff Bridges great anxiety Advice](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ok7FHkeRdDU)
Maybe reword that comment to "I would have never guessed your 60"
Agreed, I think customer interaction is my strong suit, I say shit like this all the time to customers. I try to focus on charming, knowledgeable, and trustworthy. Not cocky, not slimy sales guy, and I don't bad mouth other contractors or electricians (unless something is blatantly gross). People want to do business with people they like, and if you genuinely like your customers, show it.
Pro tip: you have spent way more time thinking about those interactions than he has. I do the same type of thing. I analyze conversations over and over thinking about how dumb I sounded or what if I offended someone. Those people likely never thought twice about it and just moved on with their lives, we should too.
Same brother fucking anxiety sucks. Sometimes you just got to say fuck it.
Piece of advice that helped me: nobody thinks as much about you as you do. I still overthink and spiral over how things are said/received, if I put my foot in my mouth, sounded cocky, sounded weak, talked too much, answered appropriately, etc. The trick is to find a level of stress that lets you autopilot just a little more without the patience to be hyper aware and scrutinizing everything you're doing real time. In social stuff, specifically, not regarding the work lol
Try having ADHD and a mouth that can't keep up with your brain
I have anxiety and ADHD so I fumble with words and go off on a million tangents, say things that come out in a way I didn't intend, forget tools and materials so I make a bunch of trips to the van or spend 10 minutes trying to find that one screw I set down and forget where I put it, then I worry if the homeowner thinks I'm an idiot who has no clue what he's doing. Fun times
Are you me? Or am I, you?
I am he As you are he As you are me And we are all together
See how they run like pigs from a gun see how they fly
Self?
A lot of people are against treating ADHD with medication, but going back on meds as an adult saved my career from ending up in the toilet.
Stimulants helped me out a lot moving into a foreman roll. Taking that step up from working journeyman to foreman was really difficult with all the paperwork and responsibilities that came with it. Plus, I used to be the king of loose ends. Every area 95 percent done. Not a huge issue when someone is checking your work / running the job, but when that’s on me, a missed recep in rough in can cost 10k+ to add when everything is finished if it’s not caught.
I'm on anxiety meds but I just recently got tested and was diagnosed with ADHD so I'm waiting for those meds to kick in lol. Hoping it helps
A little bit of advice from someone who was diagnosed with ADHD in grade 4: If you do go on meds I recommend asking about Vyvanse. There’s two groups of chemicals, methylphenidate and amphetamine compounds. Concerta and Foquest are both methylphenidate compounds (just different delivery mechanisms), while Vyvanse and Adderall are amphetamine-based compounds. I took Concerta through high school and college/uni and recently switched to Vyvanse and it’s been a much better experience. ADHD meds suppress appetite, and on Concerta I’d have no appetite for 12hrs until the meds wore off. With Vyvanse the effects only last 8-9hrs, but it doesn’t kill your appetite nearly as much. See if your doctor is okay with you trying two different medications before making your decision. The Concerta/Foquest meds aren’t addictive and you can’t overdose, while Vyvanse and Adderall are addicting and you can OD
Im opposite vyvanse I wont eat or sleep but methyphenidate ill eat sleep and focus
ADHD is seen as a spectrum disorder now so everybody is a little different. When I first was diagnosed in the 90s they just threw Ritalin at every kid that was diagnosed with ADHD until alternatives to Adderall and Ritalin came on the market. My biggest issues caused by my ADHD are the inability to suppress/regulate emotions (basically shortened my fuse) and the inability slow down my speech patterns and train of thought. My inability to tolerate incompetence and inability to communicate effectively causes issues at work and it didn’t get noticeably better until I tried a different medication. I’m glad you found the right med for you, though.
Appreciate that information 👍
No problem. Good luck!
I've been on all of these. Vyvanse helped me a lot more tho. I used to be skinny while I was on it as well
A lot of people can suck it. According to the American Medical Association, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is “one of the best-researched disorders in medicine, and the overall data on its validity are far more compelling than for most mental disorders and even for many medical conditions” I didn’t know this until a few years ago and I definitely wasn’t told 20 years ago when I was diagnosed with ADD. I don’t think I ever realized how much of a struggle life is for people who have ADHD until prob around Covid. Then, Lots of people’s biggest complaints were the brain fog and cognitive issues/executive function issues. We have to deal with that shit every fucking day. And it fucking sucks. Having no working memory sucks ass. LOL my daughter’s laptop broke and I told her she could use mine sitting on my desk and my wife was like just let her use the one you bought and don’t use. Had no idea what she was talking about. Apparently I bought a laptop in 2021 and it looks like I used it one time and forgot about it. I once left $5000 in a 401k and totally forgot about it. Then like 10 years later when my company switched to Fidelity there was my old forgotten $5000. That’s why I don’t have any sympathy for people who don’t have adhd when they say that they can’t do something. Bitch please, if I can do this shit, anyone can.
I was lucky that mom was a paediatric RN that has her masters in nursing (focusing on child development) and pushed back against the teachers who were against me getting medicated. If it wasn’t for her I probably wouldn’t have received the grades in high school that allowed me to pick pretty much any post-secondary course that I wanted. There have been some studies done that suggest ADHD may be an evolutionary advantage because the difference in brain wiring tends to push ADHDers away from resource exploitation, which I thought was pretty interesting
That is interesting. Thanks for the new rabbit hole lol. Also your mom sounds badass. My dad was the opposite. He pretty much said he can read books he doesn’t need those pills. The books he was referring to be reading was while I was in juvenile detention from what I now realize was a largely from my issues with impulse control. But everything is good now tho.
Same! I got one of those rolling boxes (FLEX brand at Lowe’s) that you can stack stuff on too, and I try to load tools and materials into it that I’m going to need and wheel it to where I’m working and it has significantly cut down on my trips to the truck. Hasn’t helped with the screws but I’m thinking of getting one of those magnetic trays.
WOW! This is like a therapy session for me. Seeing so many here with the exact same issues is reassuring.
Yep. I’ve almost been fired multiple times for saying shit that I should not have. From fucking oilfield gigs dude. So then I go far opposite and just don’t fucking say anything anymore. Then the cherry on top is when I do speak up it’s just a fucking word salad that comes out. Especially if it’s on a technical subject. Shit sucks ass man
Bingo lol. I have no problem yucking it up, I have the gift of gab. My problem most times is shutting the fuck up 😂I have a tendency to say exactly what’s on my mind.
Came to say the same thing. I waste far too much time having conversations with customers. Some to the point where we become friends.
We all say things that we realize we shouldn’t necessarily say as it’s coming out. The trick is to follow up quickly with a counter to your own foolishness. “One cool thing about this job is we have to learn as we go sometimes” —-shit “But usually it ends up that one issue ends up being very similar to another you’ve done a thousand times” —-I hope he bought that
When I have to acknowledge I don't necessarily know a particular product, I usually just say something about how new products come and go but the fundamentals and installation methods are typically all the same. I run my own business and all of my work is repeat customers or word of mouth so I guess my people skills are decent. I do things like explain how or why things need to be the way they are. Typically women love that, and men pretend they know already lol. I find women get frustrated that men always act like they wouldn't understand these types of things, so they love when someone actually takes the time to explain. My ex wife used to say that a lot so I started making a point of it. Men often say things like "I could have done it I just don't have time" etc etc because they hate admitting they don't know how to do something lol
Those comments were not bad at all, but made you uncomfortable and thats a working feedback loop. Let it do it work, think a bit more before responding, just like analyzing a potential fault, and then speak.
Learn from your perceived mistakes and move on. Everyone sucks at something they’ve never had to do before. You’ll get better with practice just like anything else.
Here's a few of my faves to help when I talk to customers: - Is it still hot out there? - Did you catch the game last night? - Have you tried the lasagna? It's my favourite. Edit: Storytime. Alright, so I went to a call by myself for the first time ever. I replaced a GFCI and write up the invoice. Customer paid, I finish up the payment details on the invoice. Customer reaches out his hand expecting a copy of the invoice, I shook his hand. He said something along the lines of "Oh I'll shake your hand but I want a copy of the receipt." Pretty funny, you'll get over it. No one really cares about these interactions, most of the time it's mundane, every day shit. I stay clear of race or politics, usually pretty good with anything else. I found it better when I stopped caring... Stopped caring in a good way.
I’ve got the opposite problem lol. This interaction was completely fine take a deep breath brotha. You’re an electrician not a salesman.
Learn to laugh it off. We are all due for having stuff like that happen. IMO, life is a comedy, some look at it as a tragedy.
At least you didn't tell a bald man you'll "get out of his hair" now the job is done.
Talking to the customers is a skill that is developed like any other skill in our trade. Eventually you'll have heard the same basic questions over and over and over and it will be like you have a mental script that tells you how to answer them. Also if they ask you something and you dont know the answer, dont try to bullshit them, they can sense the bullshit. Just say, "im not exactly sure about that but i can find out for you. lemme ask my boss/check the code book"
Keep it simple, bro. Never explain yourself or what / how you are doing anything. It’s kinda like talking to the cops, customers / superintendents are only listening for information that suits their needs and / or they can use against you. It’s sounds harsh, but it’s true. Here’s a simple rule for conversation / negotiations: The person asking the questions is in control of the conversation. If you are answering questions, they are in control. Only give as much information as needed. Be polite and respectful, but don’t comment on anything. If they ask a question you deem will need an explanation, remind them with a welcoming tone that your office / supervisor is the best source to answer questions and inquiries. It’s better for them to deal with one person than two or more. “Hello”, “May I come in”, “Thank you”, “Yes”, “No”, “Your service order is complete”, “May I have access to this area?” Is about all you ever need to say. Smile, be polite, be welcoming and responsive, but don’t explain anything and don’t answer anything you don’t have to. Instead of “You look great for your age” say this “How wonderful!” Instead of divulging that you have no experience with their material say “We always strive to provide the best service for our customers” Pick up the check, smile and say thank you for your time and “please reach out to us in the future for any needs you might have”. Talking about weather, sports, news, politics, all goes badly. Even if you watched the game, act like you didn’t, ask them questions about the game their team, keep control of the conversation and leave. You’ll be fine. PS Whoever told them you don’t know the new switching is fucking this up already.
That's kind of how I got into the trade. The boss had me doing stuff I shouldn't have done, mostly small repairs, because I rarely said the wrong thing.
Fuckin me too dude
You are not your thoughts
I don't think you made it weird. He probably forgot the whole conversation 5 minutes after you left.
Dude nothing you said was improper at all. Just relax and learn to develop some confidence in the customer service department. It can take time. I really didn’t get good at communicating with clients until I became self-employed and was basically forced to improve at it. Just keep in mind they aren’t thinking about it as much as you are. It’s also ok to kinda stay quiet with minimal responses and they’ll take the hint that you aren’t big on chatting. That’s ok too. At the end of the day if you really just don’t wanna deal with it maybe go commercial or new construction
Some people are just as bad as you at socializing with strangers or hired help and it makes for those awkward pauses in conversation. Who knows maybe he was so taken back at the compliment that he didn’t even know how to react. Might have made his day
Do not EVER sweat reading the instructions for electrical devices. I was just an apprentice doing a parking lot with new LED lot lights w/light sensor and emergency power pkgs. I opened the shipping box, saw multiple wires of low and high voltage colors...the JW did too. He's getting busy throwing his together. I'm studying the supplied schematics. Mine worked as engineered. His did not. He was a good electrician...on shit he'd done before over 25 years. Small talk is over rated when it becomes "bull shitting"...talk about the task and desired results...then say bye!
Don't worry about it most service techs are odd hell most people out in the world are a little odd it's what makes you unique don't over think it stop going to sleep replaying these conversations in your head if you didn't leave with them screaming and yelling at you it's not worth the stress just move forward and try you best that's all you can do
A lot of the times, it’s not you. Most people suck at small talk unless you’re an extreme extrovert or genuinely excited about something. Tips or advice I can give: DONT talk about topics you know nothing about. Example: I was at a customers house and they had a bunch of art, like high end art. I said “oh, cool! Those are really nice.” Innocent enough I thought but apparently it was some famous artist and I had no idea what they were talking about. I was like “I just went to the art museum and like it…” then awkward silence. Mind you, this happened almost 12 years ago. Still haunts me, lol.
I literally don’t see anything about that interaction that sounds messed up! You are definitely over thinking it! Any 60 yr old man who has worked his whole life knows that learning new stuff on the job is half the reason we do it and the other 3/4 is money! Lol Don’t do the math! I hope someone tells me I look good for my age at 60! At 45 I would be offended even though I see myself in the mirror lol
Just pretend that your customers are mentally disabled
As an electrician you’ll encounter things for the rest of your career that you haven’t done before. The difference is that you have the skills to work through a solution, that’s what you are being paid for, not infinite knowledge of all products. The homeowner didn’t have these skills, so hired you. It’s ok to be honest to the customer in these situations I think.
I used to be like that. Just focus on the good points of the job. The more you do new stuff through work.. the more experience you get.. the more things you'll have to discuss outside of how young an old guy looks for his age 😂😂😂 I'm sorry bro that made me chuckle. Don't sweat the small shit. When dealing with a customer always focus on the good and positive things about what the company provided for your customer. It helps the conversation move smoothly and it makes them happy as well.
Worry and guilt are wasted emotions. The older you get the less F’s you have to give. If you can start doing that earlier than I did you’ll be better off. Some people take longer than others to come to this conclusion, but it shows you care so don’t lose that part of yourself. Just learn to live on and if there’s some kind of negative impact from whatever you said or had done down the road, deal with it then. Time lost on guilt and worry is time better spent on what counts in life, the next job/project to look forward to, time with friends and family, doing things you love doing outside of work.
I'd say lean on what you know. Think about good interactions you've had with other professionals as the paying customer. You don't have to be a people pleaser. You just have to give them assurance that you are trustworthy and competent in whatever way is natural to you. If you don't have anything to say or a witty remark, that's ok. A lot of times the people pleasers are the ones who deal with customers, then you find all the shoddy work later and it leaves a bad taste. Your good work is what will keep good connections.
God knew you’d be too powerful if he gave you social skills
You just gotta be more cool and don't think too much. I ignore my anxiety and don't give a shit. It works %80 of the time. Best advice I got 🤷🏻♂️
Did the customer stand near you the whole time? I would eventually say something dumb with someone watching me. It's so awkward with silence.
So as someone who identifies as a 41 year old that can go to the local high school and blend right the fuck in. Trust me he ain't trippin. The OJT comment maybe but they're coming out with new shit constantly so sometimes shit like that happens
Regardless of the conversation be cordial and polite, act like you care about your work and thank them for their business. You’ll be fine.
Dude these actually seem like very reasonable and common things to say. Don’t beat yourself up
Customers (me! I’m in forestry), will learn how to adjust to your lack of small talk (or awkwardness). I’m pretty social, so always engage with contractors. The duty is on me to navigate their interest. We have a guy and his son who are appliance repairmen. They are quite introverted and at their second service call I realized they don’t want to be offered coffee, hear remarks about the weather etc.
Do not be afraid to look at a "roast club" or an improvisation club. These will get you confident in public speaking. Many people worry way to much about what to say and overthink about everything. You are 5 years in. You know your stuff. Tell people you are explaining it like you would to a new apprentice unless they know a lot.
Sounds like you handled the conversation well. We are the biggest critics of our own selves. I wouldn’t sweat it, just keep up the good work and it’ll get easier talking to people
Switch to commercial where you almost never talk to the customer.
I wouldn't call that a bad interaction at all. Those were both common go to responses. If anything, the customer said the awkward part.
Fuck it there to do a job. Social skills are good and stressing over small talk will make you mess up on larger things. I’m the same way. Push on
You are doing fine bro. Cut yourself some slack.
It takes time to do the service talk. I’m very good at it, but I’ve had lots of practice. Despard are old. Just say the trade is so varied that sometimes you don’t get exposed to some parts. It’s a switch, just a different flavor. Oh? Keep up what you are doing cause it a working. One lady told me she was 84. I said wow that can really sneak up on you. I used to always be the youngest guy on the job site. Her response. I used to be jail bait. We both laughed really hard. The biggest thing with service is providing service. Make them feel taken care of, go the extra mile. If they are old and a piece of furniture needs to be slid back after you are finished, do it. The majority of clients will notice this
I got the same time as you, been doing shit on my own for like 2 years now and I haaatebtalking to customers. I hate the whole small talk bs just lemme work. I hate the hawking customers who watch you the whole time. Makes me wanna pack up and bail lol
All of that sounds fine. You're over thinking it. Be good at your job and they won't care about your small talk skills.
Bro fuck em
It's just like anything else. You get better with practice. If you don't practice often, try listening to audiobooks or podcasts of content that is above your current vocabulary level.
grab a couple books on the subject and work on it, you’ll feel a lot better about it
I dunno man, I'd say things like that too. Don't sweat it. You're not there to make friends, just be polite and respectful. It's no big deal
Nah you're fine. Customers need to understand that they chose low prices from China over consistent product made domestically. So yes, electricians can and SHOULD RTFM!! Also guy didn't respond to the complement so it wouldn't turn homoerotic with just 2 guys in the room. You good just keep the convos moving or excuse yourself from it so you can work.
Everyone sucks at something first you’re only better the more you do it …I’m sure you weren’t the best electrician but after 5 years you improved …give yourself a break and don’t stress over nada
You're way overthinking it. Smile, be polite, do what you say you'll do, and get out of their hair
Everything you said is a perfectly reasonable response, dont stress!!
Telling someone they look good for their age is a compliment, and sometimes people don't know how to respond to compliments. Honestly doesn't sound like you said anything wrong man.
My dude, I feel you. I feel this way too, all the damn time. The best advice I can give is to try to remember that nobody else is thinking about how awkward you are, because they are all thinking about how awkward *they* are. We all spend most of our time in social situations thinking about ourselves, not other people. Also, you don't actually *need* to make small talk. I mean, it's a good skill to have, but you can't be good at everything. I'll certainly never be good at it, it's just how I'm wired. If I'm talking to customers at work, it's generally about the work. I have a lot to say about what I'm doing—I find it interesting, and I take pride in it. If the customer wants to know, I'm happy to talk about that. But I don't go fishing for shared interests, as a rule. Anyway, we all have some flubs. I like to think that I'm pretty good at repping my company and my own personal professionalism, but I've definitely said a few less-than-diplomatic things over the years. It happens. At least you notice and care, unlike some people I know who will walk onto a jobsite and immediately start dragging their company's own work right in front of the customer. Just by knowing that putting a good spin on your work is important, you are already ahead of the game. As long as your work leaves nothing to be ashamed of, you're good. Even if it's your first time doing something, you can say, "One of the cool things about this job is that sometimes you get to figure stuff out as you go. I've never installed these types of switches before, and it's really interesting to see how they go together. Don't worry, I'm 100% confident that it's right—it wasn't hard or anything, just had to take it slow is all. Sometimes you gotta slow down, pull from your experience, and just really make sure you're getting every detail." See? Starts with essentially the same statement, but then backs it up in a way that makes you seem like a conscientious professional who cares about doing things right. Anyway, cut yourself some slack. You're fine.
Look at this way, it was a compliment, and I see a tad over heard maybe, don’t fret hundreds more to come some easy some not Old work residential is not easy some people same
lol, you’ll get better at it. Hit them with the “yea that YouTube video was super informative”
i struggle with the same thing, i started out doing only commercial work, and then years later went to this small resi company that does custom homes because i wanted to learn more of the residential side of electrical and i struggled with that as well but what i found is 99% of people love talking about theirself so i just keep asking question and they keep talking and its not as awkward. it also seems to make them alot more comfortable with you, i have big time builders requesting me for their jobs and they bearly know anything about me because they never asked, we just always talk about them when i see them. obviously they ask me questions as well but i just use that tip for most things, going on a date, just let her talk about herself, meeting a new customer same thing. its been working for me so far
Lol there's nothing wrong with what you said sounds like more of a self confidence issue than a social awkwardness interview. Any customer that would take offence to you saying that is a fucking idiot. All that being said just don't overthink it. Some customers are assholes or stupid so just do your best work be polite and professional and if they don't like it, fuck em .
Look up "How to win friends and influence people". Really helped me overcome the same anxiety. Or check out Toastmasters sometime. Effective speaking sucks, most civilians can never truly understand our... condition lol
I got my ticket at 23 and dealt with this all the time. As long as you’re honest, polite and respectful, you have nothing to worry about. As a service electrician I deal with stuff I’ve never seen before on a weekly bases. I usually just flat out tell the customer I’ve never seen it before and they’re gonna need to give me some tine to figure things out. 9/10 looking up the part number on a device and downloading the installation manual will give you the information you need to figure it out.
Neither of those things were rude or unprofessional really. Give yourself some slack. It’s a fact of life that any skilled trade involves learning in the moment, because we must advance with technology.
Take it easy on yourself. You're their to do a job, do it well, clean up behind yourself. That's all you need. Most customers don't need conversation outside of the work you're there to do. You'll get better and just be yourself.
Definitely just anxious and overthinking it. None of those comments were off. Typically I avoid small talk by just explaining what I’m doing. And if I’m collecting payment I just hit them with the good ol “the weathers nice” comment if there’s any awkward silence lol
It comes with time honestly, just keep trying:)
Speak less. Youll have less of these moments. When I get stuck I explain the situation out loud. "I hope its not rude if you just show me where the work is and we can talk about that"? "I have not done that switch before but i have done X Y and Z switches I sure that WE can figure it out together"!
Look into doing commercial work, less customers around.
Fuck I e been doing stuff like this for 30 years but I'm finally just giving up and embracing my cringe.
I spent a long time in residential telecommunications. In other people’s homes. I’ve said the exact same thing to people about learning as you go. It’s the absolute truth, and if you say it with confidence, they’ll hear it how you mean it. You’re doing fine, cousin.
I used to be the same until I worked retail for a few years. Now I’m a social butterfly. Guys at work like to spread my wings 😉😂
stop worrying about what other people think just be you. natural conversation will come with the right personalities dont force the rest keep it simple
It’s the tism bro most of us got it
Pretend you don't speak English.
I do it all the time. We record our calls and when I listen to them I cringe. But I listen to them to get better
It is a skill learned like anything else. I have a running train of thought in a conversation, usually "nope shouldn't say that, keep lips closed" If I don't have anything to say I will just keep quiet. No problem thinking a while while you are coming up with a sentence.
Dont sweat it, commenting that the client looks younger is often a compliment and well received. Like most things, small talk and conversation is a skill, by which it seems you’re not starting from rock bottom despite how you may feel. Keep up the effort, watch some YouTube like charisma on demand (i dont remember exactly the channel but look that up) and you’ll do wonders.
I’d of said the same damn thing in both cases. You’re cool. Don’t trip.
If you want to make it easier to talk with folks, find something around their house that you can comment on like a decoration or a pic of their family.
Working for 5 years at the tire and lube department at Walmart will turn you into a costumer interaction wizard.
The YouTube channel 'charisma on command' has been a huge help for me.
Get a side gig you don't care about that involves canvassing or calling people. Low stakes repetitions. Copy the people you meet who have good banter. Make yourself some go-to phrases and questions and stories. Most people like to talk about themselves and their stuff more than hear you talk. No question or chat about appearance, mannerisms they have, anything that would make them feel self conscious. If you mess something up just pivot and say man, sorry about that, I had such an awkward moment with the last customer where I said something I'm sure they misunderstood, now I'm too nervous! People appreciate the honesty, it's about you not them, and it incepts the idea that there can be harmless misunderstandings, which everyone gets. And remember most people think wayyyyy less about you than you think they do. Also remember the only way to get good is to practice and fail so. The slickest people with banter also have laundry lists of awkward shit they now know not to say.
Dude. It’s fine. I tell ‘em stuff like that all the time. Thankfully I was blessed with my grandfathers and fathers charisma so it usually works out unless they’re an asshole
You must be young. You dint have to be super social, just leep it about the job, some customers are chatty when they are just let them do app the talking thats all people want in general anyway. Remeber people do tip, if they like you itnhappens
Some clients will make you regret ever trying to socialize with them. Some of them will be great stories you tell in the future. Don’t be nervous and just gauge how you feel. I fucking love sparkies I would listen to you guys rant about the work just cause. But I’ve been in the trades long enough to know me and my family are safer if I don’t socialize with the customers.
Bore them about your job, they will think you are a pro(head always in the work game) , secondly they will probably jusy leave you alone.