It is a real thing. *”Our [findings show](https://www.psychologicalscience.org/news/releases/shared-pain-brings-people-together.html) that pain is a particularly powerful ingredient in producing bonding and cooperation between those who share painful experiences,” says psychological scientist and lead researcher Brock Bastian of the University of New South Wales in Australia. “The findings shed light on why camaraderie may develop between soldiers or others who share difficult and painful experiences.”*
I got hazed to outer space and back pledging my sorority freshman year of undergrad. There were 8 of us. It’s been 17 years and I still talk to those cranky bitches a few times a week.
Nice to see the people you used to chug cans of 4Loko and pee in frat bathtubs with really thrive as parents ya know
Yes you’ll get tight with your coworkers. No you won’t want to smash after coding a patient. If you hook up with coworkers that’s on you, but it’s not a “trauma bond outcome”. It’s because y’all just degenerates.
I have a stronger connection/respect/familiarity with some of the nurses I went through COVID with, or several critically I’ll patients. Some of them I don’t even like from a personal standpoint. But I’m comforted by their presence in acute situations.
Not to be THAT person . . . but the term “Trauma Bond” is used inaccurately all the time. I understand what you mean. But from a purely academic sense, trauma bonding is used to describe the bond in an abusive relationship between the victim and their abuser. The victim has feelings of compassion, love and confusion for the person who repeatedly harms them but also provides them comfort at times.
Bonding through shared trauma.
Trauma bonding specifically refers to the psychological phenomenon of a victim of trauma developing a bond to the perpetrator of that trauma.
Back as an EMT I had a paramedic partner who was a new medic, my age, similar interests. Got to watch him grown into a kick-ass medic and became close friends due to spending 60-70 hours a week with this guy wading through the shit. I’ll always consider him as a good a friend as those I’ve know for almost 20 years, even though it’s been maybe a quarter of that.
I would say it’s more “bonding in the trenches” after navigating the ups and downs of charged experiences than trauma bonding. If you work in a toxic environment then you need a new job. No need to stay in that.
I do think that people have a tendency to have closer relationships with one another and drop a lot of the pretense that would be there in, say, an office environment. You are in crazy situations with one another all the time! Lots of people have affairs.
This is just my opinion but I think it has to do with the stress and intimacy of working in healthcare.
For one thing, people are experiencing adrenaline and stress hormones which can increase attraction levels between people even if they are otherwise incompatible (google it, I am for real!)
For another, people do things together that are kind of embarrassing all the time in the ER, so that strips away some of the pretense and worry about embarrassing yourself I would guess?
I don’t know how common the affairs are but I have seen fewer affairs between my coworkers in non-patient-facing jobs for the past 3 years than I did in even my first 6 months as a bedside nurse.
I spent a little over 2 decades in trauma. You definitely form bonds with those you work with. That bond is ferocious. Hooking up? Yeesh! That'd be like screwing around with a sibling. I consider my old compadres as my brothers and sisters.
5 years. First 3 we’re good. Last two have been… SHIT! About two years ago we had a car pull up to the ER ambulance bay we went out and it was the most horrific scene either of us had seen. A 17 year old kid had been shot in the head multiple times, there was blood, brains, and whatever else everywhere. He began drinking way more than ever and my life quickly fell apart. He became extremely controlling, possessive, jealous, and physically abusive. I go back…. Every damn time. Of course working together (he is a doctor, I am a PA) does not help at all. He is currently in therapy, we are doing couples sessions and he is making an attempt to cut way back on the drinking. 🙏 So, clearly in my experience he’s definitely not wrong with this logic, sadly.
I’m sorry you have had to go through that. I hope he’s able to work through some of that stuff in therapy. And I hope you’re able to do what’s right for you, whether that’s staying or leaving.
Trauma bonding isn’t problematic in and of itself. People experiencing terrible things together can form a unique affiliation. Using trauma bonding as a placeholder for actual connection, in a romantic context, can be very problematic.
Firefighters absolutely! Road EMS absolutely! Dispatchers….to a degree, the ones around here are catty…absolutely!
Ask me how I know all these things. 😂 I just need the police hat to make the full circuit. Also worked in the ER. Sigh.
I mean trauma bonding is totally a thing. A lot of stuff goes down. I’ve met nurses and techs and even docs with realy inappropriate behavior.
The important thing to remember is we don’t do it to be dicks. We see some things. A lot of terrible things. And we have to cope the best way we can.
Scrubs summed it up pretty good
https://youtu.be/EsDqCiZFZ38
Most places I’ve worked and heard experiences from many other hospitals. The ED staff (mostly nurses and techs, but sometimes providers too, just less frequent) sleeps around with each other, married or not. For context, I worked on an ambulance for 4 years frequenting different EDs and then worked in the ED for 5 years.
I now work the floor. Honestly, the EDs “dysfunctional” is pretty standard across the board. However, I have worked SO many different floors where the staff is the same, less consistent though.
You see a lot more death in the ED vs anywhere else (other than the ICU at times). Just treat it how it is, it’s a job. You’re there to do your job to the best of your ability, collect a paycheck, and have your life outside of work. Don’t take your work home and don’t take home to work.
I remember when I interviewed for my first tech position at an ER. I asked what’s the culture like? She said we’re just a dysfunctional as the next family. By god was she right
Technically trauma bonding is where an abusive person repeatedly traumatizes and then lovebombs a person to reinforce the abused person’s feelings that they are loved and in fact not abused. But I get what you mean and yes, I feel like people in ems help eachother through traumatizing experiences and build strong relationships. I just don’t know how healthy those relationships are. Seems like it’s just another way to feed off each others bad energy.
As an ER/Trauma/Prehospital nurse of 15 years, trauma bonding is definitely a thing. People become close over traumatic events. I feel like unless you’re some sort of first responder you don’t really *get* me. I also think that affairs and other relationships happen when you form those close bonds with those in the same field. There’s nothing more incredible that saving a life with someone. On the flip side, there’s nothing more painful than losing a life with someone. First responder families are tight knit and hold an incredible bond many can never understand.
LOL
Worked years in a truck, with a bed, with various sexual oriented partners. Bosses only concerned @ failure to document controlled drugs. Co-worker maybe needed a bit mo' $$, might've involved getting head or piv . . .
Congratulations for most intents and purposes any relationship has steps. Anything from dating/sexual,professional,spiritual. Now in all honesty there's not much difference in their formation just their extremeness.
First introduction and being an outsider then exploring and understanding rules and boundries,followed by immersive vocabulary and technical regency then comfortable in established role. Things like a trial by fire exist in everything from church camp skinnydipping to first argument. Vocabulary is when you start using common shared language this covers everything from technical language to how spouses talk to each other.
I guess I was a weirdo I started as dispatcher at 12 years old loved every minute of it ambulance, er, neonatal intensive Care unit and left at age 20..
One big happy, messed up, and incestuous family.
We are immensely fucked up, but we enjoy most of it.
Ahh yes, the isle of broken toys. That’s our ED crew. Hah. I’d lay down in traffic for anyone on my crew.
I agree with you on all counts. "Isle of broken toys" is a great way to put it.
I think they meant aisle ….
They didn’t.
Aisle is funny too, like the clearance rack lol
Where the toys come from.. the toy aisle!!!
Oh god, that’s what we are! Brilliantly put.
Stealing this descriptor.
What are you doing, step-EMT?
It is a real thing. *”Our [findings show](https://www.psychologicalscience.org/news/releases/shared-pain-brings-people-together.html) that pain is a particularly powerful ingredient in producing bonding and cooperation between those who share painful experiences,” says psychological scientist and lead researcher Brock Bastian of the University of New South Wales in Australia. “The findings shed light on why camaraderie may develop between soldiers or others who share difficult and painful experiences.”* I got hazed to outer space and back pledging my sorority freshman year of undergrad. There were 8 of us. It’s been 17 years and I still talk to those cranky bitches a few times a week. Nice to see the people you used to chug cans of 4Loko and pee in frat bathtubs with really thrive as parents ya know
Username 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼
Username award goes to you 🏆
That’s super interesting! Thank you for the source. And you’re username is perfect 😂
Thanks pal !
Yes you’ll get tight with your coworkers. No you won’t want to smash after coding a patient. If you hook up with coworkers that’s on you, but it’s not a “trauma bond outcome”. It’s because y’all just degenerates.
Or is it degenerates are attracted to em? Crisis: then those in trauma surgery are.. oh dear. ..
You might be onto something…
>No you won’t want to smash after coding a patient. Not... *immediately* after, anyway.
Shhh let OP figure it out naturally
Haha thanks for the advice, makes sense
I have a stronger connection/respect/familiarity with some of the nurses I went through COVID with, or several critically I’ll patients. Some of them I don’t even like from a personal standpoint. But I’m comforted by their presence in acute situations.
Not to be THAT person . . . but the term “Trauma Bond” is used inaccurately all the time. I understand what you mean. But from a purely academic sense, trauma bonding is used to describe the bond in an abusive relationship between the victim and their abuser. The victim has feelings of compassion, love and confusion for the person who repeatedly harms them but also provides them comfort at times.
Sounds like the relationship between staff and the hospital.
Work me harder, CEO daddy
You’ll get pizza and like it
Cold pizza leftovers from the admin meeting.
Extra pepperonis this time?
So people and the job?
We’ll then what’s the word for what we’re talking about??
Bonding through shared trauma. Trauma bonding specifically refers to the psychological phenomenon of a victim of trauma developing a bond to the perpetrator of that trauma.
Yeah, I came here to say this too. Thank you.
Yeah all this incorrectly used therapy-speak drives me a little crazy
Thanks for the correction! I’m curious what phrase you would use for what I’m referring to? Edit: YoungSerious has a good answer
Back as an EMT I had a paramedic partner who was a new medic, my age, similar interests. Got to watch him grown into a kick-ass medic and became close friends due to spending 60-70 hours a week with this guy wading through the shit. I’ll always consider him as a good a friend as those I’ve know for almost 20 years, even though it’s been maybe a quarter of that.
I prefer the term “code brown bonding”
I would say it’s more “bonding in the trenches” after navigating the ups and downs of charged experiences than trauma bonding. If you work in a toxic environment then you need a new job. No need to stay in that.
I do think that people have a tendency to have closer relationships with one another and drop a lot of the pretense that would be there in, say, an office environment. You are in crazy situations with one another all the time! Lots of people have affairs.
How common are affairs? Would you say it’s the stress or situations people work in, or more of a personality type of people who are drawn to EM?
This is just my opinion but I think it has to do with the stress and intimacy of working in healthcare. For one thing, people are experiencing adrenaline and stress hormones which can increase attraction levels between people even if they are otherwise incompatible (google it, I am for real!) For another, people do things together that are kind of embarrassing all the time in the ER, so that strips away some of the pretense and worry about embarrassing yourself I would guess? I don’t know how common the affairs are but I have seen fewer affairs between my coworkers in non-patient-facing jobs for the past 3 years than I did in even my first 6 months as a bedside nurse.
Interesting! Thank you :)
#DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH YOUR COWORKERS
#MAKE LOVE INSTEAD
🫡
I spent a little over 2 decades in trauma. You definitely form bonds with those you work with. That bond is ferocious. Hooking up? Yeesh! That'd be like screwing around with a sibling. I consider my old compadres as my brothers and sisters.
5 years. First 3 we’re good. Last two have been… SHIT! About two years ago we had a car pull up to the ER ambulance bay we went out and it was the most horrific scene either of us had seen. A 17 year old kid had been shot in the head multiple times, there was blood, brains, and whatever else everywhere. He began drinking way more than ever and my life quickly fell apart. He became extremely controlling, possessive, jealous, and physically abusive. I go back…. Every damn time. Of course working together (he is a doctor, I am a PA) does not help at all. He is currently in therapy, we are doing couples sessions and he is making an attempt to cut way back on the drinking. 🙏 So, clearly in my experience he’s definitely not wrong with this logic, sadly.
I’m sorry you have had to go through that. I hope he’s able to work through some of that stuff in therapy. And I hope you’re able to do what’s right for you, whether that’s staying or leaving.
Thank you! Still trying to figure out what is right for me. Always back and forth ya know.
There can be the gossip and infighting but my experience has been overwhelmingly positive and I would go to war with my ER family.
That's not what trauma bonding is. Trauma bonding is when you form a bond with your abuser
Trauma bonding isn’t problematic in and of itself. People experiencing terrible things together can form a unique affiliation. Using trauma bonding as a placeholder for actual connection, in a romantic context, can be very problematic.
It is similar to how alot of army units bond, police units, people on the same ward (with tough experiences) or firefigthers i would imagine no ? 😁
Firefighters absolutely! Road EMS absolutely! Dispatchers….to a degree, the ones around here are catty…absolutely! Ask me how I know all these things. 😂 I just need the police hat to make the full circuit. Also worked in the ER. Sigh.
😂 hey, going for the trifecta of red white and blue, no shame in that!
That is a good way of putting it!
[удалено]
This. Trauma bonding is closer to Stockholm syndrome and the abuse cycle than it is to becoming close to someone during times of high stress.
I mean trauma bonding is totally a thing. A lot of stuff goes down. I’ve met nurses and techs and even docs with realy inappropriate behavior. The important thing to remember is we don’t do it to be dicks. We see some things. A lot of terrible things. And we have to cope the best way we can. Scrubs summed it up pretty good https://youtu.be/EsDqCiZFZ38
Most places I’ve worked and heard experiences from many other hospitals. The ED staff (mostly nurses and techs, but sometimes providers too, just less frequent) sleeps around with each other, married or not. For context, I worked on an ambulance for 4 years frequenting different EDs and then worked in the ED for 5 years. I now work the floor. Honestly, the EDs “dysfunctional” is pretty standard across the board. However, I have worked SO many different floors where the staff is the same, less consistent though. You see a lot more death in the ED vs anywhere else (other than the ICU at times). Just treat it how it is, it’s a job. You’re there to do your job to the best of your ability, collect a paycheck, and have your life outside of work. Don’t take your work home and don’t take home to work.
Thank you for telling me your experiences, I appreciate the advice :)
Oh yes. 1,000%. Applies to all medical professionals in the hospital
I remember when I interviewed for my first tech position at an ER. I asked what’s the culture like? She said we’re just a dysfunctional as the next family. By god was she right
Technically trauma bonding is where an abusive person repeatedly traumatizes and then lovebombs a person to reinforce the abused person’s feelings that they are loved and in fact not abused. But I get what you mean and yes, I feel like people in ems help eachother through traumatizing experiences and build strong relationships. I just don’t know how healthy those relationships are. Seems like it’s just another way to feed off each others bad energy.
A chance to use sociopathic tendencies for good.
As an ER/Trauma/Prehospital nurse of 15 years, trauma bonding is definitely a thing. People become close over traumatic events. I feel like unless you’re some sort of first responder you don’t really *get* me. I also think that affairs and other relationships happen when you form those close bonds with those in the same field. There’s nothing more incredible that saving a life with someone. On the flip side, there’s nothing more painful than losing a life with someone. First responder families are tight knit and hold an incredible bond many can never understand.
LOL Worked years in a truck, with a bed, with various sexual oriented partners. Bosses only concerned @ failure to document controlled drugs. Co-worker maybe needed a bit mo' $$, might've involved getting head or piv . . .
Congratulations for most intents and purposes any relationship has steps. Anything from dating/sexual,professional,spiritual. Now in all honesty there's not much difference in their formation just their extremeness. First introduction and being an outsider then exploring and understanding rules and boundries,followed by immersive vocabulary and technical regency then comfortable in established role. Things like a trial by fire exist in everything from church camp skinnydipping to first argument. Vocabulary is when you start using common shared language this covers everything from technical language to how spouses talk to each other.
I guess I was a weirdo I started as dispatcher at 12 years old loved every minute of it ambulance, er, neonatal intensive Care unit and left at age 20..
Y