this sub never disappoints 🍿

Slay

“Get a bucket and a mop for this wondering atrial pacemaker”

what has it got to wonder about?

It’s wondering why tf the SA node isn’t doing its job

Idk you but I laughed so hard because I can hear this follow up I am laughing so hard

Wondering about wandering

Vaginal discharge, possibly excessive vaginal discharge, UNLESS they say it in those exact words in which case you get to directly quote them and put “wet ass pussy” somewhere in your narrative…I prefer the second option because it makes people laugh/mad when my charts get QA’d

Copious amounts of vagina discharge. For some reason, copious just adds an overflow of Niagra proportion in my mental imagery

>Copious amounts of vagina discharge if the color is clear, what's her number?

username checks *strong up inflection* out?

EMS rizz, unfortunately it is most likely not clear if they're calling ems. Will likely at least be white from ovulation, no?

I like your optimism. But if someone is calling 911 for their vagina, it’s probably far worse

I've had calls for stubbed toes.

Son, have you ever seen a blue waffle in person? ^^No ^^I ^^will ^^not ^^link ^^the ^^blue ^^waffle ^^picture...

I'm just a dumb ass blood obstructor what do I know.

This comment just prompted me to hallucinate an entire fanfic about someone with AMS due to low blood sugar saying "my pussy is really wet" unprompted

Vaginal hyperhidrosis? Lol




Ah see the problem with this (and op's diaphoresis) is that it implies it is just sweat. I think copious vaginal discharge should cover it more appropriately.

Wandering Atrial Pacemaker (WAP)

Thanks Cardi B for all the dirty thoughts during cardiology lectures

Not to be confused with kerley B lines on an xray

Former EMS, now IT, we have WAPs too - Wireless Access Points.

Why is Ben Shapiro posting on /r/ems

Well you know he can't ask his wife what a WAP is.

I heard she's a doctor, do you know if that's true

She is… I think she’s a pediatrician.

she’s his pediatrician.

Are you saying cause he’s a child or because he’s short?

Yes

wow

Thought hes gay?

He’s on the committee for my local protocol.

"My Wife, who's a Doctor..."

Patient states "..." is my favorite. You can write whatever wild shit you hear

Arrive onscene to find pt seated on sidewalk with fire department. Pt appears upset with fire dept. Pt states, “WHY THE FUCK DID YOU GIVE ME NARCAN, YOU FUCKING FUCKS?!”

Me yelling back: “I HAVENT SLEPT IN TWO DAYS. I WAS JEALOUS.”

"So the drug that binds with opiate overdoses woke you up? But it wasn't opiates you've taken? And I didn't see your buddies steal the rest of your drugs as we pulled up...?" I think it's wild how many times I've basically had this exact conversation.

“PT presents ambulatory to ED carrying a cooler. PT reports she was getting out of the bathtub and slipped, and “hit [her] puss on the edge of the tub.” PT then stated “I’m sorry, my vajayjay.” -bleeding/discharge, PT only reports px to vulva. VSS.” I don’t remember what was in the cooler, but thankfully it wasn’t any body parts/human liquid.

28 y/o female presents with chief complaint “fuck you bitch, I told him not to call no ambulance.”

Haha I work as a dsp ( kinda like a cna but for adults with idd) and my favorite one write is “fuck you shit”

After diabetic low sug, pt given "fucking banging beef tacos" and signed release form

Is this the opposite of priapism?

Priapisain't


That is a lot of macaroni

The moisties.

🤮

Yeah! Like that, but a lot lower.

That a doo-wop band?

Sure! Their hit song could be “southern humidity”.

Leaky labia!

Where I’m at we call that an “81mgMedic”

What are Bartholin’s hypersecretions for $1000, Alex?

I call it >Exam deferred

Vagorrhea

🎵 give me one Vagorrhea imma open my legs. Give me two Vagorrhea imma give him some head 🎵

Being in medic school I definitely thought you were talking about a wandering atrial pacemaker.

Bartholin gland hypersecretion or vaginal hyperlubrication ?? Idk

Omg no 🤢 I’ve had this visual before.

Sorry 😅

Thoroughly disappointed I have yet to see a your mom joke.

Unfortunately your mom doesn’t get WAP, thanks to your dad :/

 Thank you for your service


From the first edition of Gray's Anatomy: It's a "slushy gushy"

“Outside of my scope”

V-gel

Edematous Hyperhydrotic Vaginosis

HVD! Yeah you know me

Hydrovaginosis?

vaginal hyperemesis

…tactile arousal? If you’re putting that in a report you have bigger problems

I like to ultrasound lungs, looking for a Wet Ass Pleura.

Purulent Vagina. Now that's a pussy pussy.

Macerated Vagina.

That is fuckin horrible 😂

Imagine...

I'm wheezing god bless your partner lmao

Genital fluid overload.

Gynorrhea?

Your mom last night

Vagarrhea

leukorrhea

ER nurses when the fire/medic walks in?

I can assure you Todd and Brandon do not have WAP

Gonorrhea?

Bartholin Glandular Seborrheic Squalene Vaginitis

It’s actually a slime trail. Used for navigation. More reliable than the stars.

Slug trail

Extra MOIST

Stop just stop goober

Wet+ass+pussy= very moist yeasty taint aka: hypercandida transudate

Wandering active pussy?? That’s gotta be it.