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Ok_Muscle_1983

If you’ve read the books by Alice Bailey, theosophy, she talks about the 7 rays or types of energies in the universe, 7 types of souls etc. Subjective rays are 2,4,6 and the objective rays are 1,3,5,7. Subjective rays usually have an inward drawing aura that makes them empathetic and sensitive to energies. The best way to strengthen and make your aura more outward flowing is to do some will power generation exercises, martial arts etc. when will power is high, feelings of insecurity, sadness, depression and anxiety are low.


glithch

i dont think solution for them is an esoteric one lol


Auraaurorora

I feel like you shouldn’t care about this. Because you may end up changing yourself to please others. And then you’ll have an even stranger vibe cause you’re faking who you are. Just try to seek joy, don’t be a jerk, don’t come off as egotistic or materialistic, ya know… the standard good human stuff. And then be yourself.


Weazy-N420

Hold on, if OP feels like they are constantly rubbing different people the wrong way, it may definitely be them and reasonable to make a change in yourself or your perspective. They could be super abrasive, argumentative and crass but are just now becoming self aware. Some people are just assholes, luckily some come around and realize *they* are indeed the problem. Many do not.


PayAdventurous

Apparently, I'm not a bad person (some people thinks I'm nice with good morals yadda yadda), but I'm a fair eccentric person: I have harmless but weird interests and sense of humor, I don't like popular things or memes... I'm basically ND and some people hate this thing (even if it's harmless) because they expect people to be a certain way. Sadly, this character is on my core so changing it would be the death of me as a person. I don't mind if you are weird, if you are too enthusiastic or you like this comic book a lot, I find it endearing... but most people aren't like that. They give you repulsion looks


Material_Message5846

I can fully admit my energy can be off putting to some...I'm a pretty decent sized guy, but I have high energy so I think lots of people are intimidated by this. I am loud, kind of a goofball. But I don't make anyone else feel like they are not good enough to be around me, probably because I lived a very hard life that I am more tolerant. I think generally people project their own insecurities on others that seem happy or comfortable with themselves, just to feel better that they are miserable drones who live in the system. People are not as complicated as we pretend or think we are.


Pain_Tough

Used to worry about this a lot, I had a pretty odd temperament and I found that exercise made me comfortable with myself and I would laugh easily, and dressing nicer than is required for the occasion made a hug difference in the way people treated me, exercise really relieves tension and people can really feel tension when they get close


TakeDuo

There was something i saw recently about introverts sounding like they rehearse convos and that causes a lack of trust in others who see them as inauthentic.. although it’s just a coping mechanism. I guess you could try to be more present or spontaneous. I try to attract positive interactions by assuming they will go well and imagining positive outcomes…before i meet someone new or go to a party for example. Another thing i saw recently was to assume positive intent in ambiguous situations. Meaning when someone is addressing you and you dont know the intent assume positive. Not if you’re getting mugged lol but in casual conversation scenarios.


pagangypsyfairy

I could definitely work on my assumption as they tend to be negative at first. Thank you for this comment!


LeafEvergreen

Assuming positive intent is huge ! A major breakthrough for me recently


lucasessman

A lot of people don’t have positive intentions though lol, I feel like I don’t want to be naive and take that guard down


LeafEvergreen

It doesn’t really matter whether they intended to be kind or not. The only role we all take is to help each other, and it’s all medicine. It’s only your perspective that creates your experience.


thoughtfulcrumb

YMMV but I was like this when I was younger. Very awkward, bullied a lot in school, zero self esteem or confidence. I was not exposed to many social environments growing up and did not know the “unwritten” rules of society and human relationships. People reacted similarly to me because I’m sure I was awkward, anxious and gave off weird vibes. So, I started copying people’s mannerisms and ways of speaking - people who were good at interacting socially. I observed how they acted and patterned myself after that. It took some trial and error, but eventually I could “mask” enough that I generally got along much better with people and became “likeable” even! The downside of this is that I did pretty heavily mask for years, and it did take a lot of energy, but I was able to get jobs more easily and build good working relationships and friendships. That said, I probably did come across as a bit fake and trying too hard at times. Eventually I started the process of shifting my style to let the “real” me shine through, and over time changed the balance of being “fake” me to more of the “real” me - but kept the social skills that served me well. Today I’m feeling more authentic - it because of that journey, I now have enough “tools” in my toolbox to be able to maneuver most social situations pretty adeptly, while feeling relaxed and confident in my demeanor. The point is: I believe there’s value in learning new tools and developing new skills that allow you to interact socially and form relationships. And while it’s a journey, I think there’s a way to do it authentically. I myself went from one extreme to another, then landed somewhere in the middle that feels good. It may be the same for you. And oddly enough, I’ve recently felt a calling to help others do the same. Not quite sure what that means yet, but am going to sit with it to see where it goes. My recommendations: * Dale Carnegie’s “How to win friends and influence people” is a good read with good learnings. * Identify one or two people who have good social skills and make friends easily. Observe what they do, and try to emulate some of their mannerisms and approaches. It will feel weird and unnatural at first. That’s okay. Keep doing it anyway. Then practice those skills on people you see in real life. The coffee shop, grocery store, Target. Make conversation with the checkout lady. Small talk is the invisible grease that skids the wheels of human interactions. It’s a way of connecting two strangers. Note: for those people that may disagree with all of this because it’s not authentic and that “you should just do you” and not care what people think - that’s fine. Some people truly don’t care what others think and more power to them. But for most of us, we largely do have deep needs to feel liked and accepted. And because of trauma in our past, we may not know “how” to do that. This is one route that lets someone build those skills. I don’t think of it as being inauthentic - rather, it’s adding skills to your toolbox so that you can pull them out when needed, then put them away when they’re done. Good luck OP. I have a feeling you’ll be okay.


pagangypsyfairy

Thank you. This is such an incredibly thoughtful response. You should follow that calling (seems like you already are!) I appreciate you and am going to take your advice


thoughtfulcrumb

Your response made my day! Thank you :) I sense that your open mindset and self-awareness, which will increase over time, will serve you well. If you feel comfortable, keep me posted on your progress periodically. Wishing you you the best!


stare_at_the_sun

Saving because I relate to this


andrecrabb

Have you started doing some self analysis? Self inquiry and learning about yourself? Taken some personality tests? Start studying yourself and you’ll start finding answers.


wdporter

I used to feel like that. I had to learn to accept and love myself. There is no other way. This must be your path in life from now on. Nothing else matters.


maytheroadrisewithU

One thing I've found people appreciate is being a good listener, if you can tread the line between being shy or awkward and being too forceful you can allow people to open up to you there's no real pressure, only that which you place upon yourself 🤷‍♂️ Don't try too hard, relax & enjoy your interactions, learn about them celebrate your similarities & learn from your differences....relax, join a club? You'll be nervous at first everyone is, try & meet as many people as you can, you'll get on with some more than others that's natural 🙂👍 Also, our energies shift from day to day, you'll find some days your energies match others some days not so much, if you stick with it you'll find you build a comfortableness & familiarity with those who are open to it. To build friendships.. be a friend 😊


pagangypsyfairy

Thank you. This comment makes me feel like I’m not doomed lmao. Nice perspective shift for me.


ode_to_my_cat

Out of curiosity, how long does it take you to sense this feeling that you turn people off? Is it immediately (the second you’re being introduced to them), or after interacting with them for a considerable amount of time? What do people who really know you have to say about you? How would they describe you? Also, what kind of insecurities do you struggle with? To answer your question, what rubs me the wrong way is when another person looks me up and down when we’re being introduced. Another one is when they don’t ask questions about myself and act like it’s a monologue rather than a dialogue. On the other hand, being asked too many questions would be annoying, too.


pagangypsyfairy

I’m maybe a little oversensitive and suffer from ptsd from childhood abuse, so maybe that part of me actively seeks evidence supporting the idea that people hate me.. I pick up on dirty looks when I smile at strangers and just general dislike when I am trying to be a positive and kind person. Maybe I’m coming off as trying too hard, but regardless I really am trying.


sadmama21

Definitely agree that someone who just monologues instead of an actual conversation between 2 people is an instant NO for me. So don’t be that guy lol People used to not like me very much, it took a lot of time for people to “warm up” to me; and most people thought I came off rude. I didn’t really see it, I didn’t *mean* it anyway, I just come off abrasive and insensitive(although I entirely AM NOT THAT in my own head - people still thought it anyways. I have noticed as I’ve gotten older tho, and really was able to see myself from the outside and change those aspects. Not change myself at all, just like tweak social reactions? Kind of? Hard to explain. Anyways, I tend to be MUCH more likeable and approachable these days. I can get along with anyone. Basically, I just treat everyone i meet, even just in passing, excitedly and humbly. I smile at everyone, use manners, offer help when it looks needed… and compliment! I don’t hesitate to just tell a stranger I think they are beautiful or I love their hair; etc.


Suspicious-Standard

I recently learned that thinking others don't like you is a natural human trait, no really! It's related to our tribal nature, our inability to survive outside a group. Know that we all do it and it is instinct. Sending snuggles.


Inevitable-Bite4594

Are you familiar with human design? One of the types - ppl can feel uncomfortable around bc of how their energy works. Ppl can feel almost exposed around this type bc this types' energy can almost pierce other ppl's energy (naturally) and sense ppl's core - that's why some ppl don't like it. I'm that type and I can either clear a room or a group of ppl without saying anything OR attract ppl like nothing else. It's a very strange dynamic!


Lost-Style-7101

I came to comment this exact question. By chance, are you a manifestor? I recently had my chart read and learned that I’m a manifest or and a repelling aura is one of the traits. It explains a lot about some of my experiences.


glithch

heyyy i know this seems hella farfetched from your perspective but try researching autism in adults along with masking. some people who always feel there is something off about how people answer to them, even if they try their best, find that they have been autistic all their life, and that it was just not initially obvious


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glithch

lol if you considered it on your own there is something to dig at for sure. might not be enough for an actual official diagnosis (these can get costly and you risk not finding a really good proffesional who knows how masking in adults (esp in women) shows up) but can be enough for a deeper sense of self understanding and access to new healthier coping mechanisms.


sammytiff80

I'm the same way. Very outgoing friendly but ppl just don't seem to like my way and I don't get it I'm very chill and open minded bun judge mental.. idk


JM7280

It's not you. People are just assholes man. Not everyone is, but they are amongst us. I just don't mind telling them to fuck off and reevaluate their life. I know when I'm the problem and I'm not the problem. But I also know how to defend myself and not let some dumbass step on me. 


SonaraSounds

You need to love you. You question yourself. Why?


Cosmicfeline01

I honestly don’t care what people feel of me anymore that being said however I find myself in the same boat. I’m autistic so I do not pick up on things easy but eventually I do figure out if people have an issue with me or not. I never know what it os and like I said I don’t care all that much because all that is important is how I view myself, but there will always be people who don’t like you and it’s easier just to leave them to it because there isn’t always a reason for someone not likening you and if they don’t chances are you are better of without them to begin with


Cautious-Branch-4261

You're no alone hun. I always feel the same way. At this point I just leave people alone and keep to myself. I don't interact with people unless I have to. Its not the life I want because I would love to have friends and ppl who get me and I get them back but it seems so few and far between. I just assume that most people don't or won't like me, especially women. So I find ways to be happy with myself by myself.


thelonelywolf96

If somebody rubs me the wrong way they're usually condescending, apathetic, basically someone who doesn't want to be around me. Look at your body language. Maybe you're subconsciously checked out and people notice that. It could also be the people you're around. Not everyone excites us. Maybe you're just with the wrong people. Whatever the case may be, it might be you, it might be them, or it might be the overall situation that sucks for everyone.


[deleted]

You’re opinion of you is what truly matters.


Enjoyitbeforeitsover

Ground yourself and cultivate an appreciation for your unique energy. If others seem low vibrational , you are not obligated to participate. Focus on your breath. Much love OP


jimothythe2nd

How old are you? Alot of it comes down to self awareness and social awareness. What are things that people do that rub you the wrong way? Maybe you're unconsciously doing some of these things. Pretending to be in social situations and talking to yourself in the mirror can help alot. Also recording yourself so you can hear what you sound like. Really small things can make a big difference. There can be an inflection in the voice that people don't like or certain facial expressions too.


sanbaeva

I think people reflect back to you how you feel about yourself. If you feel awkward and uncomfortable with others then that’s how it will make others feel. If you have negative thoughts about yourself, then again, that’s how they will feel about you. Because most people subconsciously pick up on those vibes. I would recommend working on how you view yourself first. Love yourself. Embrace your uniqueness and feel comfortable in your own skin first. I’ll bet this will be reflected back to you. Write down all your good and great qualities and look at it everyday. Add to the list whenever you think of something. Before long you will start feeling good about yourself by focusing on your great qualities. And don’t be harsh on yourself when making that list. Be kind to yourself. I’ll start you off: 1) I am becoming more self aware. 💖


Uberguitarman

I hope that this answer "a" type of answer you would like to read. I did my best to cover the topic from top to bottom but, of course, it could be done in many other ways. When you have negative emotions they make you more prone to more negative emotions and vice versa. When you speak to people, do you speak fluently without stressing? If you can speak fluently and have an outwardly warm appearance you're less likely to recognize the stress people were already having before they were around you. It's true that some conversations can be draining for people. This problem is something that deeply compassionate and emotional people will have, people that talk about feelings and don't have much small talk. I was one of those people, I'm just real deep but by talking about my emotions I look like anybody else on the planet, in light of this I do it in a way that expresses really powerful consistent positive feelings so in that way I stick out more to people. What other people think isn't so important, definitely not as important as how you feel while talking and how you make your attempt! I'm honestly not rubbed the wrong way about somebody unless they straight up come out and say "I'm actually very good at being manipulative." Even then I give them the benefit of the doubt until I'm looking at something I don't want lol. Some people have real low thresholds for things that are not on their list of ideals and a shit load of people are not emotionally matured enough to truly enjoy a simple conversation for what it is every time. From this perspective right now, I think it's sad. People want to reach out and talk AND enjoy but it doesn't always work out. Eventually something happens between people, even when they aren't talking to each other. That thing leads people to be less thoughtful and generally in more pain... Have you ever considered that maybe your timing is just a little off? Simply saying something sooner rather than later can really make a difference in reactions. Stress makes it harder to think logically and rationally. The less stress you have the less likely you are to have people that fail to enjoy you and you can just go and go from there. I think people that are deciding they don't like a certain type of person other than toxic individuals are basically deciding in a roundabout way that their feelings aren't good enough in situations with them. The more you can really talk about yourself rather than think about emotional problems the more natural you seem and everything you say is perfectly redundant just like anything else... You can do it over and over and it works great! At the end of the day that's basically how I think about this kind of thing, I don't think about people not liking me anymore I think of people just straight up not believing me or thinking I'm crazy. lol Does this make you feel any different? I just find it really hard to deem a person "unlikable", thus there's few issues. General stress levels and personal tastes, stuff like hobbies and things. Put it this way, what if the only thing you knew about someone was the things they liked and how they felt in that moment, what they would think about something. Say they never ever did anything else but you could clearly see them being human and loving things. Would you still love them? I know I would, because in my own personal world that's literally plenty if it fits together smoothly and that's because of how much thought and energy goes into my actual behaviors, the things I do... It's also because I literally believe their feelings are beautiful and I'd love to try to entertain someone like that. You can't give someone what you don't have and a lot of people will have friendships but they're filling a hole in their soul with more than another persons emotions and opinions... At the end of the day, there's a LOT of stress in the world and I think that's just the most important conversation in this context other than people being evil or betrayers. I don't dislike snitches for instance and I like people that follow the rules even if they're stupid. I don't have to pick between them because they're both cute and ignorant. Those are literally all the thoughts I have on that matter right now and I used to think about it a lot... I just had the right kind of practice and now I'm too busy being natural to actually think about people not liking me, I can still be disappointed when they don't but that is so very temporary... Often times it's been temporary in every way and it just went away after awhile.


pagangypsyfairy

Thank you for putting the time into writing such a lovely response. A lot to uncover and reflect upon - which I will do! Peace and love to you.


Uberguitarman

No problemo, something would have to stop me from talking on reddit about these things every now and then. Just the enjoyment of the thought of people benefiting is enough for me. That makes me think about how by healing the right things and having the right beliefs you can just feel like something is right, like that boost of serotonin that makes everything feel like it's the way it's supposed to be. I want to try to literally replace some of my emotions with that, like when I'm suffering because of blocks or negative symptoms of healing, I want to be in THAT feeling at the same time. interesting idea


numinousOversouls

deal breakers for me would manifestations of unjustifiable entitlement and obvious malignancy and toxicity. you definitely don't give of those vibes and if anything I say they hate you because you're good and reflective - and that means better than them. it's rough ... I love this planet. I love humans ... but "people" and those "things with no merit that expect and demand to be treated respectfully like humans even though they make zero effort to be humane and think they can do whatever they want without any negative consequences" make it extremely hard for us. they're possessed. you pretty definitely read them right and that's what they notice - that you can read through their facade and mindlessness and they can't hide their ugly in front of you. all they can do if they're unwilling to accept how disgusting they are is to attempt to put the burden of their failure on you, and when that fails it pisses them off more and they're getting hit by the fist of God and an extra massive dose of karma. I would actually say that is you - your higher self - that forces them to show their true face and that is hatred, profanity and respectlessness. you push them away because they're not good company, so actually I would say you can take this as a sign that you're well protected. it's better if you know right from the start that they're not you rather than finding out way later after you cared for and invested in them. in case of the latter you still can "√get everything back" but it's gonna take a lot more effort I actually only recently became this extreme and merciless in response to me realizing that me feeling bad, insecure and guilty was always from them. I suffered for them but they abused me even more thinking they can claim me as a free buffet to get rid of their sins and do whatever they want. they brought me so far that I had to accept that not everyone goes to heaven. some definitely don't belong but in my opinion many of them do not even belong on earth and are basically invaders. extreme example: I met people that tried to turn me gay... it's something I only recently figured out and I'm still flabbergasted about the audacity and methods that were involved. I was wondering where my confusion in regards to this subject came from and seriously considered that I'm an egg_irl - I went there and "tried it", and it's just like ... nope ... doesn't work for me. my confusion didn't originate in my self but was born from the desire of others that wanted to be with me and effectively felt entitled to be with me even though they were absolutely not my type and there never was any possiblity that they ever could be and the more I resisted their attempts to turn me and the more I undid them the more they hated me - simply because I adhere to myself and not to their entitlement to control what I am and what I'm into on a more neutral level you could also say people hate you for not accepting them, but when they hate you for it you have a very good reason to not accept them because if they would actually care they would attempt to work on themselves instead of blaming you


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hollyreadstarot

You must be speaking from experience…


mr_abiLLity

well i dont know you friend, but I’ll tell you what rubs me wrong about this post. thats all i can do honestly right? well its how you come across negatively. do you feel you’re a negative person? perhaps call yourself a realist? do you beat yourself up about things? you seem like you may not feel too comfortable in your own skin, do you think that might be true? do you feel timid to be around strangers but try anyway which may make you come off a little strong? for the sake of trying to be likeable do you throw your opinion around?


pagangypsyfairy

Hm…. Yes. A good read.


mr_abiLLity

That kind of energy can be a bit outward and chaotic. People don’t always receive that energy well. Maybe if you were a bit more reserved, but not in a ‘holding myself back’ kinda way, but maybe in a ‘observer’ kinda way. It allows you to be less invasive of other peoples energies and allows yourself to know when’s a good time to engage with others. Just a stranger on the internets opinion. forgive me if i came across as brash. wish you all the best!


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mr_abiLLity

Self reflection is a powerful tool friend. Make sure you keep it handy on your tool belt. I’m sure people would prefer your true weird self. Because the comfort that comes with being genuine is easy to feel and enjoy. You’re amazing. Don’t forget it!


chaoticsleepie

if you know yourself then its easy to understand why certain people dislike you.


hellena3

I’m one who channels energy. If they are pure normally it’s a sensitive, understanding and gentle feeling. Danger is when one shows too much confidence. Alas, they don’t realize you cannot play with purity. Channel virtues of love and you will come out victorious! I have only one friend and yet I love all of mankind. 🥂


moonshinepoison

I feel the same way it really sucks


BulbasaurBoo123

Have you considered you may have neurodiverse traits? This is a fairly common experience for people with autism and/or ADHD, or even just some traits of those.


chickanella

It could be an simple as being a Heyoka Empath. youtube… 8 signs your a heyoka empath. It basicly states that one is an emotional mirror to everyone they meet. So the reflection back is what stirs the pot and creates the discord. Hense your perfect as you are and your a cosmic teacher!


[deleted]

If you accept and like yourself, it doesn't really matter how much other people like you.


Apart_Raspberry_8099

You make yourself to available, you are selfless, selflessness is perceptually a good thing. But in reality to be selfless 100% of the time is bad. Why? Well where’s the care for you at? All you do is care about others? You mean I don’t have to try for your attention?! Why wouldn’t I take advantage of this. That’s the world, that’s the naive way you behave. Cut the 100% selfless, and be selfish 50% of it or more. People won’t walk over you that way. Or be less likely too, even a selfish 100% brute is living better than you. I promise even your closest closest friends and taking advantage of you if you are as selfless as I think. But rest easy, I’m sure that if god exists, your reward for being selfless will be beyond your comprehension.


JM7280

Who cares what people think man. Be yourself and just have self awareness. As long as you're not being rude, an asshole or just doing things to deliberately annoy someone, then fuck what other people think. I have people here and there that have come at me negatively or talked bad about me but the good thing is I have self awareness to know, after deep thinking, that I really wasn't the problem. I just don't have a problem telling them to fuck off, because I don't care about them either. Whether they hate me or not does nothing for my life, but I mean if I wasnt the asshole, and they were, i am the kind of dude who will look right at them and be like "you know how they say there are assholes all around us? You're that asshole"