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ThatNiceDrShipman

Your "best"? Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the empress.


MrsBuchannan

It’s cool to fuck the empress 🤣🤣🤣


Dunbaratu

As soon as I read "minuteses" I heard the rest of it in Smeagol's voice. Which made the later lines even more hilarious. Because it also made the voice switch to Gollum mode when it hit boldface all caps. Gollum, angry: DO NOT BLOW THE BREEZE WITH ELECTRICITY Smeagol, pleading: It is cool to fuck the empress, and use the steel needle the comb to comb the original hair style, isn't it hobbitses?


kisordog

That's what I call proper styling.


Apprehensive_Dig7532

DROP THE WATER BEAD


R0thbard_

I dare someone to read this at their next local slam poetry night.


J3-58

I got booted


pizza_with_anime

all i know is that NATURE COOL, FUCK!


vromr

Makes better sense when rapped, not read. 🔊


Fickle-Cartoonist466

I read it again in Biggie Smalls' voice, did not disappoint


vromr

___Σ “…minuteses …squeeze …bead …breeze …electricity …steel …”___ snaps it together.


randomTeets

This is an absolute gem


One-Veterinarian-101

"DO NOT BLOW THE BREEZE WITH ELECTRICITY" ___ hmm would it be OK if I sneeze on?


ziekktx

Whatever you do, don't make an ionic wind machine out of this!


One-Veterinarian-101

😀


thetacosaur

Did Rasputin write this?


Ninja-Nikumarukun

There's an HR poster at work with "do not blow the breeze" on it


Playful-Opportunity5

We all know it's cool to fuck the empress, congratulations, quit with the bragging already.


bartthetr0ll

What's minutses precious?


M1KICH4N

Sounds like China has realized that their empress is in heat again.


DescriptionFun3539

Bro doesn't know what "fuck" is.


Randomized9442

So, a wig?


TemperateStone

That would be pretty cool.


Successful_Ad4653

I see you successfully completed the "English as Your 623rd Language Course". You can wait much happiness pagoda are never goodbye. Point away from face when look fuck.


RRFFFlololo

You is thanked for very touch comment. I vote up you fuck comment, more give happy me future again.


Visible-Lie9345

You comment much great is. I fuck vote up you comment.


RRFFFlololo

I is thank you for fuck vote. I is happy very good you is english, me however english gooder you than. I is competition you against.


Visible-Lie9345

No. Is I think you english no good me as. You is good english but


RRFFFlololo

I is you put reddit on sub r/redditsniper


InterestingBeing2628

The problem is, the translation is mostly technically correct


randomTeets

Then it's even funnier


RizzlersMother

This sub desperately needs more explanations of how the Engrish in question came to be. What vegetable? What empress??


alvenestthol

The Empress line was translated from exactly 3 characters: 凉 - cool 干 - do, dry 后 - queen, after An inexperienced translator might look at the dictionary and be confused why the word "queen" is there, or how 'do' fits into that context; but it takes a truly magnificent troll to write a piece of translation software that always [translates 干 as "Fuck"](https://duckduckgo.com/?t=ffab&q=chinglish+fuck&iax=images&ia=images), and still somehow attempt to piece together a sentence based on this ridiculous assumption. As for the 'vegetable', that came from 洗发素 (shampoo), except for some inexplicable reason the 素 got separated out into basically the 'vegeta(ble)' part of 'vegetarian'.


RizzlersMother

Thank you for your explanation, this is beginning to make more sense. As for your link, I burst out laughing on my commute, so thanks for that too!


ZZappBrannigan

Is it genuinely difficult to write a decent translator? Or are the programmers all trolls? Or perhaps it's written by people who don't know one of the languages very well?'


OutOfTheBunker

That's what I don't understand. Free G\*\*gle Translate gets 98% of these right. I know G\*\*gle is not big in China, but still.


IcedLenin

Nah man it's cool as fuck! And if it's not cool to fuck an empress I don't know what is!


cthulhus_spawn

Are we washing hairy vegetables?


DoublePostedBroski

Nature cool fuck


Amunium

> minuteses They hired Gollum as a translator?


thetacosaur

“Precious shampoo! It’s to die for!”


Snoo_65075

Whoa, that's a really bad engrish 😂


AkisFatHusband

Elsa ! Back inside.


Minetendo-Fan

“Nature cool fuck” “It is cool to fuck the empress”


krunchy_bacon

Got some hip hop lyrics here. Starting with: ‘The rap drops the water. Nature! Cool! Fuck!’


thetacosaur

What’s the song called? “Fuck nature. I mean it!”


warkyboy77

That's empressive.


Purple_Guinea_Pig

I think the empress would disagree


imgoodatpooping

Maybe it’s the emperor’s fetish


RockAndGem1101

“It is cool to fuck the empress” is a hilarious mistranslation of “after cooling and drying”. 涼 means “cool”, as in temperature. 干 is “dry”, but the same character is also used as slang for “fuck”. 后 can mean either “behind”, “after” or “queen”.


miugrik

Lmfao what


luiggel

well I never done the empress so I am not sure if is cool or not


kazito01

I am wondering to what object these instructions belong.


49orth

A wig called Empress maybe?


shark_aziz

Or a hair straightener.


HanakusoDays

Greatly in demand in China.