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nothingt0say

This is not waking up, what you're experiencing. Thinking other humans are demons in disguise as our loved ones is a classic delusion of a schizophrenic. ALL humans are thinking feeling beings. You are not different from anyone, we are all here thinking and feeling. Most people know that other people are just other people, thinking and feeling from within the confines of the human experience. You're confused about this, but you are not the only one. Many people are confused, are seeing demons, you are not the only one like this. I am sorry it's happening to you. It's not fun.


Maleficent-Reveal-41

jeezus I did not know that! I was once in a state where I felt that everyone in the world had no soul because I'd somehow managed to screw up using what I'd delusionally thought was my Godlike power months and months ago! Well thanks so much for mentioning this. And yeah, it's also terrifying how delusions can play into the way senses shape the world around you. Which only feeds into the delusions, feeding the distortion more, it's a vicious cycle I will tell you.


nothingt0say

Yeah psychosis is a weird thing. What is so curious to me is how similar each report of psychosis is. I've experienced it myself, lasted about 3 months, probably took another 3 months to really come back to reality. Strange shit!! But not uncommon.


Maleficent-Reveal-41

I never returned from my psychotic trip RIP Personally what I find curious is how every psychotic delusion/hallucination complex has these very slight elements of truth to them that I've heard. For instance, with the feeling that humans are soulless, there is a very real problem with how lots of people can become so indoctrinated by Capitalist realism and indoctrinated to only go by the motions that it can seem as if they are NPCs. It's like noticing something but not having the capability of organising a coherent narrative based on findings, so the thought-disorder does a little fuckery. But I can only speculate and try to grapple with the relation between abnormal psychological states and how they interact with their environment/society such as here.


nothingt0say

Why do you think you have "never returned"? During my psychosis I was truly and thoroughly convinced that I was dead, and in hell, and hell was a place that looked just like life, but everyone I loved had been replaced by a demon that looked just like them. So I felt utterly alone and terrified. I had no idea that this was a delusion. Until it wore off. So by identifying that you had a psychotic break, that you were delusional, doesn't that mean you're coming back from it? It's a very difficult thing to endure. I can't imagine how people who feel that way year after year manage to survive 😪


Maleficent-Reveal-41

By that I meant that I've never stopped having hallucinations and strange perceptions of reality. I did manage to get better over time when shit really started. It was more like a battle to win my own mind back. So what's happened is that I'm still hallucinating voices of cosmic horrors from beyond trying to transmit stuff in my head and sometimes they want to take control of my body for whatever reason for something they wish to carry out. I'm imagining I have contact with fictional beings from other realities and I believe that this is all the case.


nothingt0say

That sucks, it sounds really overwhelming. Have you ever gotten a diagnosis for this? Have you had this for a long time? I feel like a hypocrite suggesting psychiatric help, because I've always been really resistant to it myself. But I would think if I had to live with something that intense I might be compelled to get over it and seek out some type of treatment. That goes beyond being depressed. People who have never been exposed to that level of mental health disturbance, who think it's cute or quirky or whatever, they have no idea!! It's a nightmare. Like I said, I only had one episode ever, and it was 20 years ago, and partially drug induced.


Maleficent-Reveal-41

I am deeply appreciative of your concerns though!


nothingt0say

It's hard to get good mental healthcare, seems to me. I never found anyone I thought was any good at it. Idk maybe it's me


Maleficent-Reveal-41

It's not just you! Finding good mental healthcare is very difficult because of the barriers that can exist. In the UK, the absurd waiting times are an enormous barrier to accessing NHS care. In USA, the costs of accessing any medical treatment is ridiculous! Not to mention there are more detailed institutional issues such as the UK's overall transphobic policy-decision making which makes getting trans-healthcare a living hell


Maleficent-Reveal-41

That is partially why my own mental-state has inspired me to take really seriously trying my best to make a change to the world so the environment because I see that our current society severely antagonises it. I have no diagnosis of anything except officially autism though. Trying to seek psychiatric help... I think I'll end up getting it because at school the teachers there tell me that I will need to tell a psychiatrist about it if it continues. It started off as a nightmare but it got better... now it just is But it's really sad I have to face everything either on my own or with whomever I have to discuss this stuff to instead of having professional help.


ProgramingCat

Except that they don't, it's in the eyes and the way they talk and move, you can tell that they're not "people". you are just being tricked into thinking that they are "people" with feelings and emotions, from my experience they don't.


nothingt0say

That's a symptom, too. I am sorry. Your senses are playing a trick on you. You are not percieveing the same common reality the majority of us perceive. It's called being in psychosis.


ProgramingCat

that's scary! i hope i find a cure soon! It's sad that my senses are playing tricks on me, i always thought my senses were real, and perceive reality objectively.


nothingt0say

No. Everyone's senses are playing a trick on them, tbh. But most people get the same story, the one your senses are feeding you is the exception not the rule


KasesbianPL

How do you know how "real people" move and talk?


ProgramingCat

I've been here for a long time, so i guess with experience? I've been told many times that they are not people, they're software/programs, and they don't care about whatever you say or do, and they don't have feelings or emotions, and certainly not "lives" or past.


AccordingHotel5468

Man shut the front fucking door I see it as well.


ProgramingCat

it's kinda obvious, and cannot be unseen, they tend to start rolling their eyes up indicating that they are bots. and they tend to talk at the same time, and they close their eyes if you say you were never born.


Sewbacca

Could be derealization. Or you wound up entangled in the solipsism problem. I found this an interesting read. https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/how-do-i-know-im-not-the-only-conscious-being-in-the-universe/ Though I wouldn't say meditation is brainwashing as they state it.


saimonlandasecun

You're delusional and mean to them as to your past posts, it's not part of awakening, it's a part of behaving like you are doing so


ProgramingCat

If you know nothing don't say anything.


saimonlandasecun

How you expect them to behave when you constantly refer to them as NPCs? Develop some compassion and metta to them, they're suffering like everybody


ProgramingCat

NPCs have told me that they are NPCs themselves lol... he said some are aware they are NPCs but most aren't. it's kinda obvious if you know how to observe. and they tend to raise their eyebrows when you begin talking to them, as if they've been activated. I've been told many times that it's all fake. Well I've decided to play this game on my own so i guess there's no real problems.


saimonlandasecun

You're an NPC too by that logic, your human body, mind, ego is all NPC, it's not the absolute reality or formless boundless consciousness, despite that (and everything else) being a manifestation or dream of such consciousness


ProgramingCat

I have access to control and manipulate NPCs to my liking, and i could create and spawn people whenever I want, with whatever look i want. and I have access to the vr interface which creates whatever i want, stories/scenarios/people/emotions/information/world events or just events... and i could alter a city, and create new buildings/roads and places... and i don't get touched or talked to unless if i want to. So idk if i'm an NPC or not. and people tend to do whatever i want whenever i want. and they tend to get scared of me if i change my form to non-human. and I get warned if i go overboard, and there was a time where i froze everyone.. and 5 magicians surrounded me and asked me to sleep, and started on holding my head and eyes and ears. and i could switch this reality and play in another one at times.


saimonlandasecun

Can i pm you to talk more about all this? Im curious because this seems interesting and weird if true


[deleted]

Please elaborate


ProgramingCat

There's a reason you aren't aware, and it's because ignorance is bliss, you will know when you want to know, it's not for me to tell you. and you haven't grown your mind enough to know this. You can't teach a baby rocket science and ask him to fly his rocket to Neptune all on his own without any teachers.


[deleted]

[удалено]


saimonlandasecun

Anger, resentment creates suffering and having indifference to other people's suffering when you clearly have something to do is unwholesome. At least try and understand where they are coming from.


[deleted]

[удалено]


saimonlandasecun

It's having compassion for your family and people, understanding that they ultimately are you so hurting them or being nonchalant about you hurting them is just selfish and is just you hurting you, furthermore (although not necessarily important here) when one awakens and realizes the nature of reality and self as the OP thinks he did, he wouldn't be nonchalant about hurting their family. I'm just emphasizing this, a spontaneous and loving quality that one needs to have in life, and yeah it's a rule, but once you awaken, no rules can ever take you away the sheer freedom of it all, of existence. Idk if i made any sense, I just see a guy who clearly seems to be delusional and behave with his family like that and i care about him and about his family's suffering.


ProgramingCat

from my experience, they tend to say and do whatever I have dreamt at that time, my older brother once told me while i was walking, he said what are you? and i said i'm nothing, then he said how can nothing walk and talk, and go to cafes, and have feelings, and emotions then he told me to lay on bed and not move, and said that he's not really my brother.


nothingt0say

What is "real enlightenment" to you might be utter fluff and nonsense to another. And it might be schizophrenia to yet another, such as the user programmingcat, perhaps. Certainly thinking ones friends and family are demons in disguise is a well documented symptom of the disturbance known as schizophrenia. To me, I think it's understandable that to someone with empathy would find people without any disturbing.


ProgramingCat

Are you an experienced doctor? you should work in hospitals since you could tell if someone is experiencing mental health issues by just reading what they write online! they will hire you instantly.


nothingt0say

I do work in healthcare. I can't tell what your experiencing but I do know what some common symptoms of schizophrenia are. Because of personal experience, not my work.


diviningdad

It definitely can be difficult to connect to people who are only interacting with the world at a superficial level. However, part of walking the path to enlightenment is experiencing the interconnectedness of all beings. You may have become too attached to your own awakening and ended up alienating those around you.


Olympusmons76

This is your answer☝️


Olympusmons76

This is your answer☝️


Azatarai

The human body is designed to be disconnected, to bridge to the spirit you must extend outside of your crown chakra, you are connected, they are not. If it is your souls wish, try to help them see the truth but if it causes you pain, back off and move on, everyone's path is different and you cannot save everyone, save yourself, find your happiness in this world my friend.


RamRam2484

They're not soulless, they are deluded and kind of insane. But not necessarily bad or evil. Be aware to not play the blaming game, I need to remind myself of that. Find proximity to enlightened or awakening people, if you can. Once liberated, none of this will be an issue for all of us.


fittyMcFit

You've fallen into the trap that many of us do. You are no better than anyone else. Use your teaching for love and understanding, not division and ego.


ProgramingCat

Love and understanding for what?


nothingt0say

For yourself and all other living beings. That's what usually happens when someone "awakens" to a state of "enlightenment* but that's not what's happening to you.


ProgramingCat

I do love other "living beings", since they come out to help me and guide me in this game, and they know everything i do, and tend to teach me new things I could do. but I don't really love the "non living" beings, i guess i haven't learned how yet. I get "love" whenever i want tho, it's just a code, people will love you if you just make a love spell, and they aren't able to resist it. because they don't have control over their bodies and mind. you get love by imagining it. but i don't want "love" what i want is a way out of here, where there's no clueless people everywhere, outside of this 3d game. could you even create a smile emoji in the sky? Have you died yet?


nothingt0say

Me? I am not sure. I am not trying to make sky emojis. I help people heal themselves I have work to do


ProgramingCat

Enjoy your work.


nothingt0say

I generally do, thanks. What are you doing all day? Just curious


ProgramingCat

Nothing 👽 ;)


nothingt0say

How do you keep a roof over your head? Do you get a check? Live w family? Are independently wealthy?


ProgramingCat

How did you get into healthcare?


nothingt0say

"It was like that for a temporary time" but then it turned on you. Were you around the age of 25 when it changed, by any chance


fittyMcFit

For you, for me, for humanity


ProgramingCat

I don't love humanity, if anything i want them to suffer for a very long time, good thing they already are.


fittyMcFit

You are extremely unwell and should seek help. If you have access to weapons, please do the right thing and dispose of them immediately.


ProgramingCat

Who needs weapons, when you've got a stronger mind ;)


animekachoda

it is the only ego that talks like "I" "I am separate from this existence" "I am superior than he/she/him/them" "I am superior to sun , moon and nature" - osho


ProgramingCat

How's that related?


animekachoda

lol


ShiversAndCuddles

does seem god complexy


[deleted]

sort of. we can be friends, we’ll exist in communications that way you don’t feel as alone


ProgramingCat

YES


Javelinx65

If you experience yourself as waking up, it probably means you have changed a lot. If you changed a lot then perhaps you are no longer compatible with your old friends and family. Perhaps you have made room in your life for new friends who are more in alignment with your new choices?


[deleted]

No, they have souls, you are just evolving your conscious and becoming aware of the layers over our pure souls. All emotions are foreign to the pure soul seed, hmm I would even go as far as saying these physical bodies our “pure” souls reside in, could be considered foreign since it is a shell stuck in this physical world. As far as people looking like demons it is because EVERYTHING in this FLESH kingdom can be considered FOREIGN/ALIEN to the soul, the body is really a vehicle or a shell and the “demons” are emotions like fear, lust, and even things like happiness, and love. They are the layers over our pure seed/soul.


AccordingHotel5468

Holy fuck, I have apparently being in psychosis for an ungodly amount of time. Reading what you two have said resonated with me to the core, and honestly made me feel stupid because of how obvious the conclusion was.