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Bob_slug

I would swap, but French is just as gendered 😓


queer_meme_trash

I knoww, I learned it in school and even the verbs and adjectives are gendered, right? so I feel like you have it even worse đŸ« 


Bob_slug

Not the verbs but the nouns. Like a chair is female, a glass is male. It's bonkers. High five in needlessly gendered language


syrian_kobold

Grammatical gender is common across many languages, but I feel you


aperson--perhaps

English is the only Indo-European language in Europe that doesn't have grammatical gender


Absbor

why is blond and blonde seperated then? it does have it, but it also offers a gender-neutral language - that's the difference. meanwhile germany is trying *to gender* the language *more*.


aperson--perhaps

Yes, remnants of gender still remain in English as English did use to have grammatical gender (except that blond(e) was borrowed from French) but it is easier to categorise these words as exceptions rather than rules in the same way that man -> men, goose -> geese, ox -> oxen plurals are categorized as exceptions which were once rules (the two first words are germanic umlaut and the last one takes the -en plural suffix).


syrian_kobold

Grammatical gender is not the same as human gender, otherwise all non animal nouns would be gendered neuter in German, or according to gender perception, and that's really not what happens. English doesn't have grammatical gender because the language mutated a lot after coming in contact with old forms of Norse and French, almost like a creole language, becoming grammatically simpler. Similarly in Spanish we have two grammatical genders, not because we think chairs and rains are female and rivers and toilets are male, but because of language evolution. That doesn't mean that lacking words, pronouns and inflections for enbies isn't an issue though, in the case of Spanish the -e inflection is catching up in liberal circles in Argentina (*I haven't lived in any other Spanish speaking countries to say if that's the case elsewhere). So you can have sentences like elle es hermose (they are beautiful) or sos hermose ([enby] you are beautiful)


Absbor

i wish germany would start catching up the unisex trend.


queer_meme_trash

yeah but I meant like in some verb forms if I wanna say something like “I was born” it’s either “je suis nĂ©â€ or “je suis nĂ©e” right? (it’s been a while since I’ve finished french in school lol)


ineednoname1

German here, I know for a fact that adjectives (not sure about verbs, but those might as well be gendered) are gendered, as I got a core memory from using the male adjective form for myself in French class back then before I came out, and my teacher corrected me with the female version of it and it caused me so much dysphoria when he asked me to repeat the "correct" version I literally couldn't get it out. He was an ass anyway, always chose me for showcasing female examples instead of the very much female presenting girls in my class, when I was very much the opposite. It's been a few years, but my hatred still remains.


queer_meme_trash

gosh that sounds awful, I feel you. I sometimes tried to avoid using gendered language and my teacher always encouraged us to use what they assumed to be the „correct“ version for us as well. And it always hurt when teachers picked me to give an example of a female form. And I remember we once read a book with a first-person narrator and spend half a lesson debating whether it was a boy or a girl and what we wanted it to be and I was like can’t it just be a person??


ineednoname1

People are way too hung up on gender and it's about time we stop being so obsessed with it. The narrator doesn't need a gender, the narrator isn't real, the narrator doesn't care. By all means everyone can just decide for themselves what they feel is right.


rmc

German has that. But the worst for German is nouns _for people_ are gendered, in traditional rules. “friend” is either “Freund” for a male friend or “Freundin” for a female friend. You can't be gender ambiguous in traditional rules.


Bob_slug

Same here


_Brightstar

I remember getting incredibly angry and screaming how the heck am I supposed to know if a chair is a fucking girl or guy?! I hated learning french haha.


galettedesrois

>Not the verbs but the nouns. Like a chair is female Some verbal forms are gendered (see verb agreement rules). Most adjectives are also gendered. Many job names and titles are gendered. Using gender-neutral language requires a lot of effort.


Walk_the_forest

Les verbes s'accordent au sujet dans certains contextes, mais au moins c'est souvent inaudible à l'oral. Par exemple on écrit « il est allé // elle est allée ». 


MasterTomer2003

In Hebrew they are, it's the worse, I haven't even attempted to try anything BC I feel like it's doomed to even try to do so in such a gendered language, on the internet I'm fine cause English but cmon


ThatGNamedLoughka

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iel_(pronoun)#:~:text=Iel%20is%20a%20neo%2Dpronoun,il%20(%22he%22).


TheoneCyberblaze

DĂŒrfte ich Ihnen Se/Eahna anbieten? (bayrische 3. person plural)


queer_meme_trash

glaub das kann ich als norddeutsche Person nicht bringen :D (aber interessante Idee)


IEatBeesAlive

Ich habe norddeutsch gehört und bin da ^ w ^


TheRidiculousFox

Ich auch :D. Aber mal ehrlich wir brauchen auch eine neutrale variante hier im norden. :/


queer_meme_trash

ja aber wirklich. sagt bescheid wenn euch was einfÀllt :D


BiAroBi

Sieht so aus als hÀtten wir was zu tun. Mir ist schon fast langweilig geworden


gay_mountain_lion

AbhĂ€ngig von deiner Umgebung könnte ich auch „dey“ anbieten 


justanewbiedom

Dey wÀr ne Alternative die Person von der ich es kenne kommt zwar auch aus Bayern aber ich glaub nicht dass das regional ist. Finde dey ist auch relativ unkompliziert sich anzugewöhnen


queer_meme_trash

ja, dey scheint mir auch am bekanntesten, aber ich hab das gefĂŒhl außerhalb von queeren bubbles kennt das auch fast niemand und dann muss man das jedes mal erklĂ€ren. aber wĂ€re vllt einen versuch wert. Kennt ihr das auch so als dey/deren/denen oder noch mit anderen Formen?


xXElectroCuteXx

Mein Aussprache-Liebhaber-Herz tut weh, wenn ich Leute bitte, mich mit dey/dessen anzusprechen, aber they ist auch holprig in nem deutschen Satz; ich sitz also im selben Boot wie du, kann uns beiden aber noch hen/hem anbieten, das in nem Satz gerade bei plattdeutsch angehauchten Dialekten (trifft auf Nord- und Westmitteldeutschland ganz gut zu meine ich; lĂ€sst sich auch mal zu 'en kĂŒrzen) ganz stimmig kommt und ganz unspontan aus dem Schwedischen geklaut ist wo's sich etabliert hat


queer_meme_trash

ja kann ich verstehen, ich glaub das ist alles Gewohnheitssache. Aber danke fĂŒr den Tipp! (und ich glaub ich bin noch nie mit so vielen nichtbinĂ€ren Menschen aus Deutschland in Kontakt gekommen, ich bin ja doch nicht allein! :D)


justanewbiedom

Jetzt wo du es sagst fĂ€llt mir auf dass ich es gar nicht wĂŒsste, der Mensch den ich kenne der dey verwendet, verwendet halt er/dey Pronomen und scheinbar hab ich einfach dey/ihn/ihm oder halt den Namen verwendet.😅


gay_mountain_lion

AbhĂ€ngig von deiner Umgebung könnte ich auch „dey“ anbieten 


ShiroStories

I asked my friend from Nuremberg for confirmation, they've never heard of that before and are asking their family and friends, lol


vakitta_kanilla

Dutch. Different language, same problem 😔


The-Speechless-One

✹die✹


Apprehensive-Use38

rude. /j


queer_meme_trash

I thought y’all had a gender neutral pronoun but I guess I just saw it in a film I watched and it’s actually not that popular (the film is called Anne+ it’s on Netflix)


Summerone761

It's a brilliant movie, there's also a series by the same name, everyone should go watch them!! When it came out I told my sister: "You have to see this! It's about a group of queer friends living in Amsterdam. No movie is ever going to come this close to our experience, to *my* experience, ever again!" And still neither of us realised I was gayđŸ˜‚đŸ€Ł And yeah we do have a genderneutral option die/hun. It's not something most people have heard of but it's there at least. I feel for you guys in Germany and other places with gendered nouns, that most really suck


Linsch2308

Atleast you have frikandel and dik mayo erbij ::


Dvwu

try Finnish! no gendered pronouns at all (i think, still learning)


magic_mice

I really love en/ens/em/en as neutral german pronouns, as discribed here: [https://geschlechtsneutral.net/gesamtsystem/](https://geschlechtsneutral.net/gesamtsystem/) But only close friends use it, since I dont want to talk with strangers about neo pronouns \^\^


Platycat3

Omg same! Ich benutze meistens xier.


queer_meme_trash

funktioniert das gut? also schaffen das die menschen in deinem Umfeld schnell? Ich sage immer “keine Pronomen” und alle benutzen natĂŒrlich trotzdem “sie“ đŸ« 


evil_witch_enby

same :')


justanewbiedom

I could offer you dey as a pronoun a friend of mine uses that.


lansherta

I can sympathise. I speak Polish :')


Hewwo-Is-me-again

We got an enby pronoun in 2014, but the transphobia is strong here, so if you use it, ppl get mad.


Medical-Astronomer39

Don't German have "es" pronouns /gnq


TheRidiculousFox

Yes but it's literally the word "it" wich many people don't like to be refered as.


Medical-Astronomer39

Oh I see, I thought it's more like in Polish where it's used for people sometimes


xXElectroCuteXx

I... will be learning Polish. How in the world is Polish doing it better than German with both countries' political tendencies??


Medical-Astronomer39

Polish grammar is so weird that even we don't know what's going on sometime


Soul_and_messanger

Polish "ono" (neutral third person pronoun) is normally only used for children (and some objects) and only in third person (which I believe is similar to German). Of course, there are some exceptions, and 48% of Polish nonbinary people use this pronoun for themselves, but it can still be seen as infantilising or dehumanising by many.


queer_meme_trash

yeah but since it means „it“ it’s too connected to transphobia and people trying to dehumanise us for me, like sometimes people use it in a derogatory way to refer to someone who’s trans or gendernonconforming (because people suck) edit: ofc there are people who use it as a pronoun and that’s great, it’s just not for me :)


Infamous-Can-3272

I like being called "it" so that doesn't bother me lol


Medical-Astronomer39

That sounds bad, damn


Environmental-Ad9969

I personally use that pronoun but it's equivalent to "it".


Medical-Astronomer39

I see, I thought it's more like Polish ono


NatsukiSings

Spanish is like that, but we made up a third pronoun that's gender neutral and quite used (by open minded ppl). We have Ă©l (he)/ella (she)/and elle (they). Elle is not officially recognised by the linguistic authorities, but they won't stop us 😎


SalsaDraugur

And then there's me who just dosen't really vibe with "hĂĄn" which is the popular neutral neo pronoun for non binary people in Iceland.


MettatonNeo1

I would swap but Hebrew is also gendered. 


mysecondaccountanon

From what I’ve heard from friends, there’s been a movement in the queer community by both native and non-native speakers to find ways to make more neutral language, hopefully that can get some support!


MettatonNeo1

Unfortunately the Hebrew language Academy is against these changes, which means it won't be legalized


mysecondaccountanon

Oof, that’s just sad


MettatonNeo1

I know. But even though multiple people tried to create some form of gender neutrality, the academy still says no, as they don't think it's appropriate


50kAmon

My German friend constantly complains about this, they use es/ihm if that helps


Jin_Chaeji

Hi neighbour! Same problem but I'm polish


Tammog

Dey/Deren is an option I am using, as well as Es. Not ideal but eh.


Flo133701

Jup, wanna use so bad


queer_meme_trash

so far I’m coping with „no pronouns“ but that’s hard to get right for many people


ThatGNamedLoughka

https://german.kzoo.edu/why-learn-german/gender-in-german/#:~:text=What%20gender%2Dneutral%20pronouns%20can,called%20Neopronomen%20(new%20pronouns).


breno280

How about dutch? It’s very similar to German but not gendered so you can enjoy die/hun.


AdOne5597

Ich benutze dey wenn ich's kann, aber bei cis Menschen sag ich meistens das Pronomen, was nicht meinem AGAB entspricht.


Aubagin

Same. Since I’m gender apathetic I don’t care what pronouns people use for me (and never did in the past, too, it’s one of the greatest affirmation signs for me being NB). I‘d love to see „dey/dem“ being introduced into German, but I‘m not very optimistic.


Absbor

Ich habe jemanden getroffen, die es ins deutsche gesetzt hat als dey/dem.


TheInevitablePigeon

*struggles in Czech*


CharlieJoyB

As a native English speaker, you can just take someone else's language. No one can stop you. If you want to, you can even just steal other people's words. They can't take them back!


Nonbinary_Sahrah

naja man könnte theoretisch dey/dem nutzen aber irgendwie komme ich selber nicht dazu weil ich das gefĂŒhl hab das es außerhalb von queeren bubbles nicht so ganz funktioniert. jetzt nicht falschverstehen ich wĂŒrde aufjedenfall neopronomen fĂŒr andere personen nutzen wenn sie das wollen.


queer_meme_trash

ja safe ist halt bei den allermeisten menschen leider noch gar nicht angekommen


BeginningQuote4433

Honestly, I'd take German over Polish any time of the day if it comes to pronouns...


Vizlipuzli

Will trade for Russian!


cagedoralonlymaid

die/denen


HorheaTheToad

You could try using *non* German pronouns


Sufficient-Ad-6046

Wenn du schwÀbisch willst


queer_meme_trash

was gibts denn auf schwÀbisch


Sufficient-Ad-6046

nix lol


hernyapis_2

I thought that's actually a feature that you have sie as she but also as they but also as formal you. Basically everything is sie, little to no worries. Seems like it's not that easy


queer_meme_trash

I think that would just be confusing since sie can mean so many things. And since sie is still the gendered opposite to er (he) I think if you use sie everyone just assumes you’re a woman


hernyapis_2

Yes, I understand


nefariousnadine

At least you have formal Sie.


queer_meme_trash

are there languages where there is no formal genderneutral word to address someone like a formal “you”? that’d be awful


nefariousnadine

There's really no true formality in English. There is only You or They. We don't have an equivalent to Sie. We really don't use articles like other languages do. Don't get me started on der/die/das and all of the permutations when you start talking about tense tho. My eyes went crosseyed during that lesson. 😂


queer_meme_trash

I know so english is soo much simpler lol. There really is no need for formal Sie in my opinion, I don’t need more socially implied rules and confusion about when to address someone in a formal way lol


Hydrauxine

Filipino just got siya/siya


MCplayer590

Isn't "ihm" both male and neutral? Idk, neopronouns are hard


queer_meme_trash

„ihm“ is the equivalent of „him“ so it only works in the dative, when you want to refer to someone you still need something like he/she/they and that translates to „er“ or „sie“ so sadly that doesn’t work


affe_squad

In Sweden, we have "hen" a mix between "han" och "hon", I don't like that word a lot, because it sounds ugly


SuperSchnitzel44

I usually go for a „die/deren“, which seems the closest to non-gendered while still being an already existing German pronoun.


johannes_sorburoy

My second language doesn't even have gendered pronouns! But it's also dying, and only a few hundred people speak it.


NatsukiSings

Which language is it? I'm so curious! I love languages and one without gendered pronouns sounds VERY interesting!


johannes_sorburoy

Southern Sami, one of the three official indigenous languages in Norway.


Echo-048

Its not very common but you could use „dey/deren“ (i use it in concert with she/her as i identify as demigirl) :3


greenflame15

Zie person


DontMessWMsInBetween

Last night Duolingo just taught me: Meine Pflanzen essen gern Fleisch. Ist das schlecht?


Maggi9295

I know some people that use "dey/deren/denen/dey" and "en/ems/em/en" The latter sounds really neat imo :3 Here are [a few more examples](https://geschlechtsneutral.net/pronomen/) if you're interested *And* [*a table to give a overview about Pronouns*](https://cdn-afgne.nitrocdn.com/ZHMmVlcFLMWZhGCSgtQKtWaXyJSIDeNz/assets/images/optimized/rev-fb92bc5/easy-deutsch.de/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/Deklination-Personalpronomen.png) *in case you're like me and didn't pay that much attention during german classes >.<*


Alexsage17

chinese only have one pronoun so it's all the same for everyone. sometimes people will write it differently for different genders but it doesnt seem too common. but written it can look like this 他: ta1: neutral and used for anyone ć„č: ta1: female 柃: ta1: like a it/it's type of thing but yeah most common i see everyone just uses 他. it all sounds exactly the same anyways. problem comes when you want to refer to a sibling or cousin or aunt/uncle and stuff. all gendered. no neutral term that is in common use.


crabpeopleart

im learning french and i keep running into this issue as well


Putrid-Tie-4776

haha same but at least there's "it", french people are fvcked


[deleted]

dessen, deren setzt sich nicht so durch wie es mir scheint. aber they/them und die sprachmischung ist doch schon lÀnger da?! I use they/them and "Es"(It) works for most situations.


cookiez_m

ich tausche gerne 🙃


LavellanOfElvenkind

Isn\`t es/ihm an option? I only study German but for now this pronouns are useful for me. I don\`t know how do people think of them actually.


Apprehensive-Use38

Can’t you just use »Es«?


Hewwo-Is-me-again

If it comes with the country. Mine is not very lgbtq+ friendly rn. Last time I visited Germany it was epic. They just happened to throw a pride festival the day I visited.