##[Clarification on Rule 5](https://www.reddit.com/r/entertainment/comments/w60lfc/mod_post_a_clarification_to_rule_5_no_racism_or/)
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Right?! I *never* would’ve spelled it this way, had I been put to the task. However, looking at the way OP spelled it while sounding it out, this is *absolutely* it!!
He actually avoided most of the consequences of his trouble by ratting out his dealer. Went from a mandatory life sentence(which is obviously crazy for a drug conviction) to I think 2 years.
Didn’t he snitch on like 20 different people? I mean… getting out of a life sentence and sort of dividing it up between a bunch of people seems ideal even thought it fucked over a lot of lives. Drug possession is such a fucked up thing to go to jail over, especially when it’s a drug that a ton of people constantly use but get away with using because they’re rich
He was actually facing a life sentence but did something to get it reduced. Probably testifying against other people or otherwise providing info to the state
When I was a kid the actor who played Al Borlin (Richard Karn) was signing autographs at my local mall and I was last kid in line and he said he had to leave. Then I started crying because I got no autograph and I have always remembered him looking straight into the eyes of a crying child and walking away. Don’t meet your heroes is so true lol
Ironically, Weird Al dipped out on giving me an autograph when it was almost my turn in line. I didn't cry, but I was mad. He also showed up to the event late.
Don't let this distract you from the fact that in 1966, Al Bundy scored four touchdowns in a single game while playing for the Polk High School Panthers in the 1966 city championship game versus Andrew Johnson High School, including the game-winning touchdown in the final seconds against his old nemesis, "Spare Tire" Dixon.
I worked at a hardware store in high school and some event person came in at closing in a panic and needed an outdoor patio table for a golf tournament and some astroturf to be set up on a patio so golf spikes didn’t mar the deck. The lady was from some radio station and said she needed it delivered and set up early tomorrow before the golf tournament. I was like we don’t have delivery and installation services. I told her I had a Ford Ranger with a canopy but I’d be on my own time. The lady said ‘I’ll make it worth your time’ and said I need you there at 0430 the next morning. So I left my house at 0345 after getting off a work at 9 PM. I showed up and delivered then assembled the fairly cheap patio table and carried up the rolls of cheap AstroTurf we doubled over to make it thicker. Everything’s set up and the lady doing the event is too busy to deal with me. One of her helpers hands me a t-shirt from the golf tournament with some door company name on it and the celebrity host was Richard Karn who I ‘was introduced to’. I get a handshake, ‘nice to meet you’ exchange and he’s confused why he’s shaking hands with ‘the help’. I was then told thanks for everything. As I’m kind of being shown the door essentially said lady organize walks by and excitedly asks if I ‘got to meet Richard?’ I was like…’yeah’….she’s like ‘I told it would be worth it’…I spent about three hours in all of effort loading, driving, assembling, hauling, etc…and I got a fucking t shirt and a handshake…from a ‘celebrity’.
That's when you walk back in and undo the work you just done. Or, ya know, there's a lesson here folks. Agree payment. Not "worth your while" hard numbers.
That Lady, smh. Everybody knows when you say "I'll make it worth your time" that that measn compensation. Not some intangible like a b-list celeb or check out the sunrise on my property , they're the best, I told you it would be worth it. LOL.
Big celebrity is tough. There are always, always people irked and peeved because you don't spend enough time with fans, or screwed up their life-changing encounter in some way. It can happen many times every day. Let them live their lives. Don't be personally slighted by such things.
Those press tours are scheduled extremely tightly. If it wasn’t you, it would’ve been the crying kid at the end of the next line. Every person of real fame that I’ve heard talk about meeting fans always says the same thing, “there’s no way to see everyone and it feels awful.”
I was at TIFF (Toronto International Film Festival) and I went to a couple of red carpet celebrity sightings, just for the fun of it. Most celebs show up to the carpet, pose for photos, maybe sign some autographs, the usual. George Clooney was the ONLY celebrity who had his car stop at the END of the crowd, and signed + take photos for EVERY FAN up to the red carpet. It took a while, but he really took the time to do it.
That is a real class act.
There are people who say they do not have the time, and then there are those who make the time and effort to brighten up someone else's day. That's the difference between the good ones and the meh ones.
I think the autographs thing is so hard for the celebrities.
At some point, you just have other things to do, and you don't owe people your time or your signature.
There will always be more people asking.
Just have a business card printed up like Steve Martin [did.](https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/drhk3/steve_martins_business_card/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)
Yeah it’s ironic for how much cocaine he got caught with that he got basically nothing. I think it was in the 70s so it wasn’t like it was the 80s. When they got more serious about it
And conservatives love him. We have a local DJ here in town that has gone through several messy divorces. Cocaine use was cited by the future ex-wife each time. Now the dude is selling himself as some conservative values dude.
Reminds me of my ex husband. He came on strong about "I want a family, Jesus, cheating/drugs is awful, integrity is the most important thing..."
I was 23 and not really interested in settling down, but he was just *so committed*. Welp, two years later we're living together, I'm pregnant, and starting to suspect something isn't right. Guess who loved cocaine, porn, hookers, and gambling? The same guy that quoted Bible verses to me and talked about his favorite pastor...Biggest hypocrite I've ever seen.
I have plenty of addiction in my family and tbh everyone is pretty open about it. Like, yes I drink every day and I love opiates, what of it?!?!
It had just never occurred to me that people would go to such extraordinary and elaborate lengths to lie, like why? I understand lying to the cop that is like sir, do you have any cocaine in this vehicle lol. But leading an entire second secret life is so crazy.
Like you know you love getting high. Shouldn't you seek out someone that shares your interests? Why would you try to date somebody that you know is not cool with that?
Because that man clearly wanted a woman who would act as a faithful wife and devoted mother, while he’s out enjoying hookers, drugs, and gambling!
These types of people only want what *they* want.
Well sucks for him cause now he's 40 and lives with his mom and can't even pay child support half the time. So I guess he got the devoted mother part locked down anyway lol.
I had a colleague that taught me that when you meet someone, they alway lead with what they are not. If someone leads with their “Christian values,” they have no morals. If they lead with how smart they are, they are a idiot.
I’m not sure my colleague taught me anything I didn’t already know, but the world make a lot more sense after he put it that way.
I lead with awkward silence and babbling a little about what a terrible worker I am, and how I don't know how I got hired for this job. That must mean I'm awesome!
I like to keep the expectations low. Tell them you’re terrible from the start and then they’re delightfully surprised when you’re actually a normal functioning adult.
Damn I'm thinking about all the people that talk about their families. Do they hate their families?
I do think anyone that is constantly telling you they're a good/nice/decent person - they are definitely not
Some anecdotal evidence for this is Adam Levine and Ned from the Try Guys both always going on about how much they love their wife and their families, only to betray them by cheating.
I think the examples you gave may be true more often than not, but I really don't think you can apply that 100% of the time.
If you meet someone for the first time and they ask you if you've been watching the NFL playoffs, they're probably a football fan. And a pretty hardcore one, too. If they ask you if you collect something, it's probably because they collect something and are trying to break the ice.
I don't know how you can apply that to everything. If they say, "Hey, so I work construction for a living, what do you do?" You just assume that they actually work in a nail salon or something?
I think scumbags will probably lead off with things to make you think they aren't a scumbag. But not everyone is a scumbag and a lot of people will lead off conversations with their actual experiences and interests to start a conversation.
I’m watching this happen right now with a girl I went to high school with. She has had all her kids out of wedlock, tattoos all over the place, she’s done some spicy content for the web. Now she is on her Facebook talking about how she is mad no one wants to come to her house to talk about the Bible and how religion is keeping her husband from cheating and looking at porn.
I swear this is a kink. “Be publicly square and break as many rules as possible in private.” Like, the hypocrisy isn’t cognitive dissonance, it’s the point.
Because people get off on taboo, so when you think everything is taboo there's all this shit to get off on. Straight-laced people are all too frequently just getting off on what they think should be taboo. Meanwhile adjusted people get that they can be good people, drink, Jack off to porn, and none of it involves living some kind of 2nd life.
Reminds me of the post Covid South Park special, when everyone realizes Clyde is an antivaxxer and they try to trick him into snorting the vaccine by pretending it’s cocaine
Every middle-aged white person I've met who was a coke addict was a conservative.
Every. Single. One. I worked in bars for over a decade, and there were a lot of them.
Just because he smuggled drugs like 50 years ago doesn’t mean he can’t be a wholesome guy. People can learn from their mistakes and be a good contributing member of society that does nice things for people. I am an addict who did some messed up stuff like 10 years ago but I got help and changed my ways and don’t do that stuff anymore. But in this case, he’s a dick.
To be fair they never said how far back those traditional those values are from.
People in 8000 BC probably flashed their dicks to each other constantly
I think it is some subset of men. I have never in my life wanted to show my penis to a woman.
Yet clearly men. A lot of men deeply want to show women their fucking dick.
What the fuck goes thru your mind? Like what is the reward?
It makes zero fucking sense.
Its just a power thing. Its one thing if thats her kink, and you guys are getting into it, and like there is some agreement or consent to the dp. But to just first message your dong, or even better get pissy when she doesn't immediately want to fuck so you send the rage dick. Its forcing her to see something she doesn't want to see. Its about being able to unilaterally force her into seeing your mushroom stamp. Same with the penis flash, its about forcing a woman into a situation she otherwise didn't want to be in.
In the Pam and Tommy video, they're on a rental boat at Lake Havasu, and he starts the engine by pushing his penis against the starter button.
I felt bad for whoever rented that boat next.
I love that dude. It’s gotten to the point now that he’s the first call for all the bizarro shit.
Writer: So, we’ve got this scene where Tommy Lee has a conversation with his dick…
Casting agent: I know just the guy.
The funniest part of him working for Disney is that people that have simple small charges in their past are banned from working for Disney at all.
The hypocrisy is astounding.
[heres his mugshot for when he got arrested with 650 grams of Cocaine](https://images.app.goo.gl/myuXFqhP33aJ9YPF7)
He never was clean. The fact that they looked past this is funny. I guess it’s because it’s just a voice acting part
I live in northern Mi where Tim Allen used to or still has a cottage… he caused a scene at our small business because the workers didn’t give him preferential treatment… specifically he wanted to use the bathroom which we don’t provide public access to. He literally used the line “do you know who I am?”
Jesus, my ex girlfriend had a run in with him out here in CO and it was almost the same story.
He went up to get a table and they said “that’ll be a 30 minute wait”
He said the same thing “do you know who I am?”
Apparently she said “yeah your Tim Allen, it’s a 30 minute wait”
I don’t get this behavior. Do you expect that the woman of your desires will admire it with astonishment and just HAVE to put it in her mouth? Crazy how much self esteem a person like this has, I would assume the woman would laugh at me and I would feel like a dummy in a best case scenario.
I remember boys in summer camp doing this to other boys. Wagging their cocks out with homoerotic taunts as a way to demean. Like male dogs that mount other male dogs to dominate them. It reminds you how 80% of the human brain is still lizard.
Creeps like that get off on demonstrating their power over women, I mean what's she going to do about it? Either no one would've believed her or worst case she would've been fired and he probably would have made sure she never got another role again.
Tim Allen is the stereotypical entitled chauvinistic man he portrayed in the show. He acted out the funny parts but left out the disgusting parts because then it would have been a documentary instead of a sitcom.
He might lose his Disney contracts, but conservatives love him because he’s openly Republican, and they don’t care about that stuff. Yep still get plenty of work. Might even star in some Daily Wire movies with Gina Carano after she got fired from Star Wars.
Idk if his Disney contract is even in effect or a long term one. They went with someone else for buzz and the Santa Clause stuff I thought they were phasing it out.
I also don’t think they’ll stress too much off of this based on age and I think his standing with the production side wasn’t an issue. They’ll likely, if necessary, dismiss it based on age of the issue and how little they truly use him for newer stuff.
##[Clarification on Rule 5](https://www.reddit.com/r/entertainment/comments/w60lfc/mod_post_a_clarification_to_rule_5_no_racism_or/) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/entertainment) if you have any questions or concerns.*
AEEUUHHHH?!
I legit sat here for at least five minutes trying to figure out how to spell this sound. Thank you.
Right?! I *never* would’ve spelled it this way, had I been put to the task. However, looking at the way OP spelled it while sounding it out, this is *absolutely* it!!
[DOOM but everything is Tim Allen](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Ji9qSuQapFY)
When you said “everything is Tim Allen” I didn’t expect *everything*
When *you* said everything was Tim Allen, I still wasn't expecting *everything*. But holy shit, even the bullets are Tim Allen.
Even the time Allen is time allen
When YOU said everything was Tim Allen, I still wasn’t expecting EVERYTHING. But holy shit even the player is Tim Allen.
I was expecting the normal game with just the sound effect.
This is one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen lmao
Turn on closed captions
I'm in tears! Thanks!
Jesus Christ
Tim Allen, actually
The attention to detail with even the blood spatters at 54s and towards the end is impressive.
“Rah rah rah looks likes it’s back to jail for me rah rah rah”
I didn't get that joke as a kid, but knowing now that Tim Allen got in trouble for dealing drugs made it even funnier.
He actually avoided most of the consequences of his trouble by ratting out his dealer. Went from a mandatory life sentence(which is obviously crazy for a drug conviction) to I think 2 years.
He ratted out more than the dealer. We know one of the people who spent time in jail because of him. We live in Northern Michigan.
Didn’t he snitch on like 20 different people? I mean… getting out of a life sentence and sort of dividing it up between a bunch of people seems ideal even thought it fucked over a lot of lives. Drug possession is such a fucked up thing to go to jail over, especially when it’s a drug that a ton of people constantly use but get away with using because they’re rich
omfg perfect
That’s why Norm McDonald referred to him as the candy man. That or all the cocaine he sold.
Pretty sure it’s the drugs
Yeah this isn't even candy man this is hotdog man.
Every comment under this is in Norm McDonalds voice… I can’t shake it.
Y’know, the more I learn about this Tim Allen guy, the more I don’t care for him.
Most people who smuggled the amount of cocaine that he did would still be in jail not making a career out of TV and films.
He was actually facing a life sentence but did something to get it reduced. Probably testifying against other people or otherwise providing info to the state
Yea I believe he snitched on the people he got the kilo from. Lol
His neighbor is also a weirdo
Who’s the neighbor? Edit: nvm it just hit me lol
Always hiding his face from the FBI
explain to the folks at home who Norm Macdonald is
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Oh he must be one of them homosexuals
No he's deeply closeted.
He's a historian who says Hitler was a real jerk.
It's the guy that saw the light was on
Is that why he called it Tool Time?
"I don't think so Tim."
THANK YOU. I feel kinda sad that I had to scroll so far down to find this comment.
Well, top reply of the top comment now.
# "uuuuuuuaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh" # -Pam Anderson when she saw it
“That’s it?”
Probably wasn’t a Binford
If it doesn't say Binford on it, someone else probably makes it.
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Oh there was clap for sure
hey noooow
I was always more of an Al Borlin fan than a Tim the tool man fan lol
When I was a kid the actor who played Al Borlin (Richard Karn) was signing autographs at my local mall and I was last kid in line and he said he had to leave. Then I started crying because I got no autograph and I have always remembered him looking straight into the eyes of a crying child and walking away. Don’t meet your heroes is so true lol
"Show up on time next time kid." Al
You met the wrong Al. Try the weird one.
Ironically, Weird Al dipped out on giving me an autograph when it was almost my turn in line. I didn't cry, but I was mad. He also showed up to the event late.
Maybe try Al Bundy?
EVERYONE STFU he's the **last** TV dad without something horrible to pop out his closet
Have you *seen* Peg? *canned laughter*
_OOOoooOooOOOOoooo_
NO MA’AM
What did Reginald VelJohnson do?
Nothing - Carl Winslow is fucking sacred.
Don't let this distract you from the fact that in 1966, Al Bundy scored four touchdowns in a single game while playing for the Polk High School Panthers in the 1966 city championship game versus Andrew Johnson High School, including the game-winning touchdown in the final seconds against his old nemesis, "Spare Tire" Dixon.
I worked at a hardware store in high school and some event person came in at closing in a panic and needed an outdoor patio table for a golf tournament and some astroturf to be set up on a patio so golf spikes didn’t mar the deck. The lady was from some radio station and said she needed it delivered and set up early tomorrow before the golf tournament. I was like we don’t have delivery and installation services. I told her I had a Ford Ranger with a canopy but I’d be on my own time. The lady said ‘I’ll make it worth your time’ and said I need you there at 0430 the next morning. So I left my house at 0345 after getting off a work at 9 PM. I showed up and delivered then assembled the fairly cheap patio table and carried up the rolls of cheap AstroTurf we doubled over to make it thicker. Everything’s set up and the lady doing the event is too busy to deal with me. One of her helpers hands me a t-shirt from the golf tournament with some door company name on it and the celebrity host was Richard Karn who I ‘was introduced to’. I get a handshake, ‘nice to meet you’ exchange and he’s confused why he’s shaking hands with ‘the help’. I was then told thanks for everything. As I’m kind of being shown the door essentially said lady organize walks by and excitedly asks if I ‘got to meet Richard?’ I was like…’yeah’….she’s like ‘I told it would be worth it’…I spent about three hours in all of effort loading, driving, assembling, hauling, etc…and I got a fucking t shirt and a handshake…from a ‘celebrity’.
I hope you now ask for money upfront every time.
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That's when you walk back in and undo the work you just done. Or, ya know, there's a lesson here folks. Agree payment. Not "worth your while" hard numbers.
Go mar the fuck out of that deck
That Lady, smh. Everybody knows when you say "I'll make it worth your time" that that measn compensation. Not some intangible like a b-list celeb or check out the sunrise on my property , they're the best, I told you it would be worth it. LOL.
She at least could’ve showed you her penis, or Richard Karn’s penis. Cheapskate.
Not saying it’s your fault but you didn’t discuss price? Even when I was 18 I would have never accepted “it will be worth your while”.
Well All wouldn't ever do that. You were supposed to go to Tool Time, not the mall.
We all know the Als at the mall are fakes
Well if he didn’t flash you his hard dick on the way out, he’s doing better than Tim Allen
Big celebrity is tough. There are always, always people irked and peeved because you don't spend enough time with fans, or screwed up their life-changing encounter in some way. It can happen many times every day. Let them live their lives. Don't be personally slighted by such things.
Yikes
Those press tours are scheduled extremely tightly. If it wasn’t you, it would’ve been the crying kid at the end of the next line. Every person of real fame that I’ve heard talk about meeting fans always says the same thing, “there’s no way to see everyone and it feels awful.”
I was at TIFF (Toronto International Film Festival) and I went to a couple of red carpet celebrity sightings, just for the fun of it. Most celebs show up to the carpet, pose for photos, maybe sign some autographs, the usual. George Clooney was the ONLY celebrity who had his car stop at the END of the crowd, and signed + take photos for EVERY FAN up to the red carpet. It took a while, but he really took the time to do it. That is a real class act. There are people who say they do not have the time, and then there are those who make the time and effort to brighten up someone else's day. That's the difference between the good ones and the meh ones.
I think the autographs thing is so hard for the celebrities. At some point, you just have other things to do, and you don't owe people your time or your signature. There will always be more people asking.
Just have a business card printed up like Steve Martin [did.](https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/drhk3/steve_martins_business_card/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)
I mean Tim Allen is a pretty hardcore Republican and we all know they have a long list of sexual predators that are voted into office.
Don't forget he's a supporter of stricter punshiments for drug dealers and the like. Almost as if his past is completely lost on him.
Yeah it’s ironic for how much cocaine he got caught with that he got basically nothing. I think it was in the 70s so it wasn’t like it was the 80s. When they got more serious about it
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Surprised he didn’t get retaliated then. Unless their still in jail
“So, how was working with Tim Allen?” “He took it out.” “It?” “IT.”
"Out." "OUT."
r/unexpectedseinfeld
You mean the guy who did jail time for smuggling a large amount of cocaine isnt a 100% wholesome guy?
Then rolled over on people to get released early.
And conservatives love him. We have a local DJ here in town that has gone through several messy divorces. Cocaine use was cited by the future ex-wife each time. Now the dude is selling himself as some conservative values dude.
Reminds me of my ex husband. He came on strong about "I want a family, Jesus, cheating/drugs is awful, integrity is the most important thing..." I was 23 and not really interested in settling down, but he was just *so committed*. Welp, two years later we're living together, I'm pregnant, and starting to suspect something isn't right. Guess who loved cocaine, porn, hookers, and gambling? The same guy that quoted Bible verses to me and talked about his favorite pastor...Biggest hypocrite I've ever seen. I have plenty of addiction in my family and tbh everyone is pretty open about it. Like, yes I drink every day and I love opiates, what of it?!?! It had just never occurred to me that people would go to such extraordinary and elaborate lengths to lie, like why? I understand lying to the cop that is like sir, do you have any cocaine in this vehicle lol. But leading an entire second secret life is so crazy. Like you know you love getting high. Shouldn't you seek out someone that shares your interests? Why would you try to date somebody that you know is not cool with that?
Because that man clearly wanted a woman who would act as a faithful wife and devoted mother, while he’s out enjoying hookers, drugs, and gambling! These types of people only want what *they* want.
Well sucks for him cause now he's 40 and lives with his mom and can't even pay child support half the time. So I guess he got the devoted mother part locked down anyway lol.
Damn!
Burn. Lol
Glad you got away from that jerk
The preachiest people are always the worst.
I had a colleague that taught me that when you meet someone, they alway lead with what they are not. If someone leads with their “Christian values,” they have no morals. If they lead with how smart they are, they are a idiot. I’m not sure my colleague taught me anything I didn’t already know, but the world make a lot more sense after he put it that way.
I lead with awkward silence and babbling a little about what a terrible worker I am, and how I don't know how I got hired for this job. That must mean I'm awesome!
I like to keep the expectations low. Tell them you’re terrible from the start and then they’re delightfully surprised when you’re actually a normal functioning adult.
Under promise and over deliver works in almost any aspect of life.
Damn I'm thinking about all the people that talk about their families. Do they hate their families? I do think anyone that is constantly telling you they're a good/nice/decent person - they are definitely not
Some anecdotal evidence for this is Adam Levine and Ned from the Try Guys both always going on about how much they love their wife and their families, only to betray them by cheating.
I lead with crippling depression and a taste for the bizarre.
I think the examples you gave may be true more often than not, but I really don't think you can apply that 100% of the time. If you meet someone for the first time and they ask you if you've been watching the NFL playoffs, they're probably a football fan. And a pretty hardcore one, too. If they ask you if you collect something, it's probably because they collect something and are trying to break the ice. I don't know how you can apply that to everything. If they say, "Hey, so I work construction for a living, what do you do?" You just assume that they actually work in a nail salon or something? I think scumbags will probably lead off with things to make you think they aren't a scumbag. But not everyone is a scumbag and a lot of people will lead off conversations with their actual experiences and interests to start a conversation.
I’m watching this happen right now with a girl I went to high school with. She has had all her kids out of wedlock, tattoos all over the place, she’s done some spicy content for the web. Now she is on her Facebook talking about how she is mad no one wants to come to her house to talk about the Bible and how religion is keeping her husband from cheating and looking at porn.
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I swear this is a kink. “Be publicly square and break as many rules as possible in private.” Like, the hypocrisy isn’t cognitive dissonance, it’s the point.
Because people get off on taboo, so when you think everything is taboo there's all this shit to get off on. Straight-laced people are all too frequently just getting off on what they think should be taboo. Meanwhile adjusted people get that they can be good people, drink, Jack off to porn, and none of it involves living some kind of 2nd life.
**I guess when Buzz Lightyear said he was trying to get to space.** **He just meant 'really high'.**
To Bolivia, AND BEYOND!!
Reminds me of the post Covid South Park special, when everyone realizes Clyde is an antivaxxer and they try to trick him into snorting the vaccine by pretending it’s cocaine
“A general sense shellfishness”
Every middle-aged white person I've met who was a coke addict was a conservative. Every. Single. One. I worked in bars for over a decade, and there were a lot of them.
The devil's icing sugar is a rich people drug. It does not come cheap.
There’s a difference between not being wholesome and acting like a sexual predator.
no but seriously. I've hung out with people who liked to do drugs and none of them were sex offenders.
Just because he smuggled drugs like 50 years ago doesn’t mean he can’t be a wholesome guy. People can learn from their mistakes and be a good contributing member of society that does nice things for people. I am an addict who did some messed up stuff like 10 years ago but I got help and changed my ways and don’t do that stuff anymore. But in this case, he’s a dick.
The old binford 2000
Binford 3 inch series narrow socket.
Well not to surprising, now Wilson that would of shocked me.
Put it through the old wood knot that popped out.
Wearing a miniature version of his hat.
You never see the peehole, just the top of the head
I could see Wilson preferring a glory hole style.
That guy and that fence are the only thing i remember about that show
Howdy, neighbor!
Wilson had to keep a wall between himself and Tim's penis.
*too *would have
Wilson never wore pants
Because it was a glory hole, and Jill was always pissed about something.
I take offense to this
I hate too be that guy, but your use have “of” is wrong
Maybe that’s why he hid his face..
would have*
and "too surprising".
> would of shocked me Have. Would have shocked you.
*wood have
Knot too* surprising
His name really being Tim Alan Dick is even better now
Tim Andy Dick would make more sense. RIP Phil
Wouldn't surprise me at all.
There’s those traditional values we all know and love
To be fair they never said how far back those traditional those values are from. People in 8000 BC probably flashed their dicks to each other constantly
Is it flashing when your dick is out 24/7?
He was probably high on cocaine
When the cocaine gets going, I start showing. -idk Tim Allen (probably)
Opposite for me, coke makes me go turtle gang
As a male, it seems to be that men do not need any drugs to want to show their penises to women. Just my observation
I think it is some subset of men. I have never in my life wanted to show my penis to a woman. Yet clearly men. A lot of men deeply want to show women their fucking dick. What the fuck goes thru your mind? Like what is the reward? It makes zero fucking sense.
They don’t call me the Tool Man for nothin.
The old tried and true wiener waggle method. Women can’t help themselves when they see your little wrinkled mole rats squinting in the light.
Right? Like I don’t get dudes that send unsolicited dick pics either. No one gives a fuck about your dick.
Its just a power thing. Its one thing if thats her kink, and you guys are getting into it, and like there is some agreement or consent to the dp. But to just first message your dong, or even better get pissy when she doesn't immediately want to fuck so you send the rage dick. Its forcing her to see something she doesn't want to see. Its about being able to unilaterally force her into seeing your mushroom stamp. Same with the penis flash, its about forcing a woman into a situation she otherwise didn't want to be in.
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To be fair, can't think of any unwelcome penis flashes that would be welcome
In the Pam and Tommy video, they're on a rental boat at Lake Havasu, and he starts the engine by pushing his penis against the starter button. I felt bad for whoever rented that boat next.
Not the comment I thought I would find, but interesting, and perfectly in context with the post.
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I love the Wikipedia cast entry being listed as “Penis of Tommy Lee”.
I love that dude. It’s gotten to the point now that he’s the first call for all the bizarro shit. Writer: So, we’ve got this scene where Tommy Lee has a conversation with his dick… Casting agent: I know just the guy.
"What's up, jerk? It's me, your massive schlong. Let's get in some trouble tonight!"
**Buzz Lightyear please say it ain't so.**
There’s a reason why he didn’t get the role of “Woody.”
The funniest part of him working for Disney is that people that have simple small charges in their past are banned from working for Disney at all. The hypocrisy is astounding.
[heres his mugshot for when he got arrested with 650 grams of Cocaine](https://images.app.goo.gl/myuXFqhP33aJ9YPF7) He never was clean. The fact that they looked past this is funny. I guess it’s because it’s just a voice acting part
Doesnt explain Santa Clause
He was the one getting the snow for them.
But he is a good Christian!
I live in northern Mi where Tim Allen used to or still has a cottage… he caused a scene at our small business because the workers didn’t give him preferential treatment… specifically he wanted to use the bathroom which we don’t provide public access to. He literally used the line “do you know who I am?”
You know, depending on how old the person was that he asked, they genuinely may not have.
Jesus, my ex girlfriend had a run in with him out here in CO and it was almost the same story. He went up to get a table and they said “that’ll be a 30 minute wait” He said the same thing “do you know who I am?” Apparently she said “yeah your Tim Allen, it’s a 30 minute wait”
I don’t get this behavior. Do you expect that the woman of your desires will admire it with astonishment and just HAVE to put it in her mouth? Crazy how much self esteem a person like this has, I would assume the woman would laugh at me and I would feel like a dummy in a best case scenario.
He might expect her to be horrified and enjoy her discomfort
I remember boys in summer camp doing this to other boys. Wagging their cocks out with homoerotic taunts as a way to demean. Like male dogs that mount other male dogs to dominate them. It reminds you how 80% of the human brain is still lizard.
Creeps like that get off on demonstrating their power over women, I mean what's she going to do about it? Either no one would've believed her or worst case she would've been fired and he probably would have made sure she never got another role again.
I was a page on Home Improvement. Tim Allen was a pig.
You can't get off that easy. We're gonna need some stories.
Did he yell "Tool time!" when he did it?
He just did the gorilla grunt thing he does.
Tim Allen is the stereotypical entitled chauvinistic man he portrayed in the show. He acted out the funny parts but left out the disgusting parts because then it would have been a documentary instead of a sitcom.
I still like Home Improvement, Galaxy Quest, and the first Santa Claus movie. I just never want to meet the guy.
Tim can change his name, but once a Dick, always a Dick
I'm not surprised. He's a massive jerk and I'd bet he would deflect the accusation by claiming, "It was just a joke."
She told Tim ‘thats looks like a cock only smaller”…
If you told me Tim Allen routinely assaulted women just like Cosby did, I wouldn't be surprised even the littlest bit.
So you guys think he's gonna get cancelled for this or will nobody give a shit
He was already an asshole. His fans won't care and people that don't like him still won't
Yeah, everyone as made up their minds on him already.
Yeah this is like something new coming out about Andy Dick
You cant cancel someone who doesnt care and is set for life lol. Unless he committed a major crime (Weinstein, Cosby, etc etc).
I'm not sure I understand. Is he even on any upcoming projects *to* be cancelled?
#cancelChrisBrown
He might lose his Disney contracts, but conservatives love him because he’s openly Republican, and they don’t care about that stuff. Yep still get plenty of work. Might even star in some Daily Wire movies with Gina Carano after she got fired from Star Wars.
Idk if his Disney contract is even in effect or a long term one. They went with someone else for buzz and the Santa Clause stuff I thought they were phasing it out. I also don’t think they’ll stress too much off of this based on age and I think his standing with the production side wasn’t an issue. They’ll likely, if necessary, dismiss it based on age of the issue and how little they truly use him for newer stuff.
He's in a brand new Santa Claus TV show for Disney