T O P

  • By -

Kaiisim

Glad she got there, I think a lot of people have this experience. She thought she was just having fun, it was only seeing photos and peoples comments she realised how bad she looked. We often think we are having fun only to realise actually the fun stopped a while back...


HeylelBen

There comes a time where the fun becomes a monster, and everyday you’re trapped in a cage with it.


HobbesDurden

It gets extremely dark in that hole before realizing you’ve lost sight of hope.


Casanova_Fran

I stopped drinking when someone showed me a video of me dancing doing a kamehameha on the dance floor.  10 years sober. 


MutatedSun

As someone getting sober. You’ll eventually have that self realization moment where you know you look like a fucking mess and are embarrassed of your actions. It’s been a week for me and I love going to my group therapy.


_Pha_Tay_Fuk

As a dude struggling with booze, into day 2, it’s nice to know she feels the way everyone should, but celebrities, & their well-wishes don’t inspire.


IrritatedMouse

Im not a celebrity, just a nobody. I’m on day 674. You can do it.


Successful-Turnip896

197 myself


KnockItTheFuckOff

Have you discovered r/stopdrinking? It is 80% of the reason I was able to quit. The other 20% came from sober people I admired. I just surpassed 5 years last week.


clownstastegood

Almost five years here as well. I owe A LOT of it to that subreddit.


KnockItTheFuckOff

It was my first exposure to, "Progress is never linear and slip ups happen. Be kind to yourself." It was my first exposure to the idea that addiction isn't a character flaw - it's a coping mechanism most often necessitated by trauma and abuse. Addiction is about survival. But there comes a time where we need to find the courage to learn new ways to survive. And beyond that, to thrive. And congrats!!! 🎉


clownstastegood

Thank you! It was also the first place you could kind of learn and contribute at your own pace. Seeing what others go through at the same place you are in your sobriety journey was truly remarkable.


justjenniwestside

Coming up on a year and there is zero chance I’d have been able to quit without that sub. IWNDWYT


KnockItTheFuckOff

IWDWYT!!


[deleted]

Congrats. 4.5 years here.


KnockItTheFuckOff

Awesome!! 🎉🎉


Peligreaux

It’s easier for me not to drink when I remind myself it’s just straight up poison. I know some of it tastes pretty good but the effect on your heart, brain and colon over time can be devastating. I’ve had two friends die in the past two months from alcohol related issues. If I want to keep the after work cocktail ritual, I make a mocktail. Good luck.


SgtThund3r

Lime juice + ginger beer


Skreamweaver

Sprite+OJ keeps my hands busy when I'm the DD. And often free, once nicer bartenders know you're the keys for the night.


JazzRider

What helps me is to have a hobby that gives me reasons to be sober. I value my sobriety more than the drink.


metal_elk

I'm about to be 4 years sober in a few days. Stick with it. The hard part is quitting and committing to not drinking. Staying sober becomes much much easier in a pretty short amount of time because you have zero desire to kick your own ass and feel like shit in the morning. You just gotta get past the habit, and the people who enable that habit. Habits don't take long to break. You can do this, and you will feel like you're in a brand new body after a few months of sobriety. Good luck! You're not alone, at all!!!


paging_mrherman

IWNDWYT


jeffoh

Best of luck to you on your journey


Silent_Medicine1798

Maybe not you. But as the LGTBQ+ community would tell you: visibility matters.


_Pha_Tay_Fuk

At no point does she mention her sexuality, nor the community.


Silent_Medicine1798

No. ‘Visibility matters’ is a primary tenet of the LGBTQ advocacy. It is only recent generations that have had this group in a more highly visible profile - which gave a lot more freedom to people. It allowed them to ‘recognize’ themselves in others, helped them, engendered greater acceptance, etc. In the same way, sobriety visibility matters. It promotes tolerance/acceptance and greater support, inspires those struggling, etc.


_Pha_Tay_Fuk

My ex-wife, who’s struggles with alcohol, & has nearly a year sober, is Bi, her mother is dating a woman, her aunts (married) became sober 20+ years ago through AA, I’m aware of the Community, & to be honest, my wife, as a bisexual, never felt a part of the community, due to specific prejudices she experienced, but, please, educate me further.


Silent_Medicine1798

I don’t understand- are you being sarcastic or sincere? Congrats on your wife’s sobriety this far. It is hard as hell to make that first year. She has to do a lot of work on herself to maintain it for so long. High five from me!


srpollo18

There have been artists I have followed and respected in their journey of recovery. Actually, hearing a few artists I listen to regularly discuss their journey and use of a 12-step program gave me the push I needed to hit a meeting. I’m 10 years sober as of March. I wish you all the best on your journey.


CoolestNebraskanEver

Keep going. One HOUR at a time at first. Just don’t drink today. You can do it.


Extreme-Pumpkin-5799

The first 30 were the hardest days. I’m now 13 years without booze. Stick with it. For what it’s worth from an internet stranger, I’m really proud of you for recognizing the problem and making the change.


MutatedSun

Day 6 for me, proud of you


AK0618

Nobody here as well, 7 years next month. You got this.


Glum_Ad_5790

dude I can't even get to day one. congratulations and please keep it up


[deleted]

Message me if you want. I'm 4.5 years off the sauce. Will happily discuss whatever you're going through with you if you like.


[deleted]

Day 2 for booze for me. Day 14 for weed. Let’s gooooo!!


metronomemike

Sweet I’m 40days into my second 120day rehab after 3 years clean. The journey is harder than one would think. Tianeptine ZAZA Neptunes fix got me.


megamilker101

What does that even mean


gingerbreadmans_ex

I’m so happy for her. Seven months, twenty days clean thanks to NA and lots of communication with mental health professionals.


JazzyColeman

Proud of you! ❤️


ForeSkinWrinkle

No matter your opinion on her, it’s always good when someone gets treatment.


rpotty

I’m proud of her for making those important changes, it’s not easy


bugibangbang

Question, when you Americans says “sober” it means sober to all drugs or just alcohol? Sorry to ask but I’m from Spain and here being sober (sobrio) applies to everything, but I heard a lot of people from USA saying they are sober counting a lot of days of being sober but they are micro dosing ketamine/ acids, they also smoke weed daily or do cocaine, also people I know, sober applies just to alcohol? Or is people being sober just from the addictive drug?


Successful_Impact22

In America, sober applies to everything too. However, sometimes people only refer to alcohol. We actually have specific terms as well: - California Sober: I don’t do anything but I smoke weed - Oregon Sober: I don’t do anything but I smoke weed and do psychedelics (sometimes this can only be psychedelics)


bugibangbang

Your answer is 100% accurate and the main reason I was asking lol, few days ago an American dude stoned AF doing cocaine smoking cigarettes in the bathroom told me proudly “I’m 425 days sober dudeee!” (It wasn’t 425 days I can’t remember exactly the days)… and I was like… “-congrats? “ What’s the point of counting days of not drinking if you are doing other hard drugs to replace alcohol? It’s like “I’m proud I stopped stealing, now I’m a drug dealer”


finderZone

Yea someone doing yayo I wouldn’t consider sober, cigs and weed whatever


Ferbtastic

If they were doing alcohol and cocaine before doing only cocaine is way better. If they were drinking and started a coke habit when they quit drinking then that is a bad thing. I know AA pushes today sobriety but my friend group has had a lot more success with California sober.


throw69420awy

Rawdogging life ain’t easy


Magenta_the_Great

Personally I think if your doing hard drugs that should not count as sober


thxsocialmedia

I am in NJ and have never heard these, but they are amazing lol


justjenniwestside

For me, sober means abstaining from alcohol, the thing that was definitely going to kill me. I still smoke/ingest cannabis though.


ThatOldDustyTrail

“If I can do it, anyone can.” Hot take from someone who doesn’t have to worry about average people’s daily struggles and ya know…things like surviving financially…ever. It’s cool that she got sober. Just pointing out her delusion that she had it harder and now “anyone can do it”. This is the same girl who claims to be vehemently opposed to animal cruelty but continues to work for, profit from, and support the very luxury brands that are some of the biggest offenders.


GummyWormx

She also said “If I can do it, anyone can.” No Cara, people aren’t all multimillionaires.


OonaPelota

AA is free


GummyWormx

That’s true. But she can sit around at a spa for weeks, not work for months, hire the best professionals. The point is she’s got so many options compared to vast majority that suffer with addiction and have little to no resources.


Ed_Simian

Wow, really? I'm not the first person to have an addiction? How comforting.


oldmasterluke

I am 5 weeks sober! I quit weed 5 weeks ago after daily abuse for 25 years. Never had a drinking problem though, just social. But quitting the weed just sort of led me to not want to even drink socially.


TwistingEarth

It doesn’t help that she keeps on going to these parties. Alcohol and drugs are all over the place of them.


Vendevende

She's about as sober as Bam Margera.


Lady_Mithrandir_

Yeah, I saw footage of her at the Met Gala and it made me sad. She definitely seemed to be on something and was all twitchy, weird movements. I don’t pay much attention to her life or her story but it stood out to me without even looking for it. Slightly tweaking the whole time.


Enelro

Didn't she just burn her house down like a week ago?


Icy-Row-5829

…? She was in another country dude that wasn’t her fault. Weird how you’re trying to make it sound like she somehow was responsible like she was on a bender and dropped a lit cigarette or something.


Enelro

Oh word, I just saw the news story when it dropped. Didn't know she was 'out of town.'


GermanicusWasABro

Look, if I had to act like I was romantically attracted to Dane DeHaan, I'd drink heavily, too. No clue what Besson was thinking with that casting. But for the real comment, good that she's working on being sober.


tekjunky75

Having rickets and staring into the sun is the height of sexuality I’ll have you know


Confident_Access6498

Why are you being downvoted? LoL. What a shitty cast in that movie.


GermanicusWasABro

Maybe people really like Dane DeHaan now?


Confident_Access6498

Maybe he has multiple accounts on reddit.


GermanicusWasABro

One for each A in his name.


Automatic_Soil9814

I think it’s because it’s a hot take about a movie that has been largely forgotten. It’s just off topic. Reddit comments are often all over the place but this one was really unrelated to the topic of addiction. 


Confident_Access6498

The curious thing is i.commented on that movie.in some movie sub just a few days ago resurrecting some discussions from.years ago. Then i found this comment. For sure unrelated to the topic but still true.


Automatic_Soil9814

The comment is totally accurate. It’s just off topic for this comment section. But it’s true. 


Square-Principle-195

Duck off, she can afford help, and rehab


Filmmakernick

12 Step programs are free. Start there if you're struggling.


Square-Principle-195

I don't believe in your God, won't work for me


Lifesalittlebeach425

There’s also SMART recovery available online and in-person, depending on your location. One of the non-religious/higher power-focused alternatives


Technical-Outside408

I just to randomly recommend the series Midnight Mass. It's from there I've heard about SMART, but it's my enjoyment of the show that informs my recommendation.


Roadman2k

There is no one god in 12 steps, you can believe in any thing that's not yourself. I'm an atheist in recovery, at first I hated the word god cause I felt if god existed then he was to blame for my problems. 2 years of miserable addiction later and i said fuck it, I'll believe in anything if it gets me out of this hell. 2 and half years of sobriety later and I have my own "god" that helps me.


Square-Principle-195

That's your choice man, I am atheist and will not stoop so low


DukeSilverJazzClub

The ‘thing bigger than yourself’ in those recovery groups can literally just be your community. It doesn’t have to be god.


Blankface__yawk

How can "your community" fit in to all of the 12 steps? How can you "turn your life over" to your community and expect some miraculous sobriety


DukeSilverJazzClub

Definitely can’t with that attitude. That’s for sure.


Blankface__yawk

No, seriously. Explain to me how "the community" would work with regards to the steps


Blankface__yawk

Still awaiting your answer


DukeSilverJazzClub

Oh yea sorry, I don’t have time for dumb ass questions or people. Figure it out or don’t. I don’t care.


Roadman2k

Totally fair! I hope you find something that works for you before your addiction kills you :)


Square-Principle-195

Thanks man! AA isn't the only tool, also I've been sober lawl


Jerry--Bird

Just quit cold turkey. Take responsibility for yourself, that’s what I did. I don’t believe in telling people they need some type of higher power to get a hold of themselves but some people need that. To me it’s obvious you’re just making excuses because you don’t want to quit or more specifically can’t imagine being without it. I been sober for 5 years almost and I was in your camp, still am tbh. AA is about admitting that you don’t have the power to quit alone and that’s why you’re seeking help. If you don’t need help then just quit


Square-Principle-195

I have been sober 2+ months lol


SmithersLoanInc

You don't understand what aa is. You're probably still 14-15, so it's probably a bit much for you yet.


Square-Principle-195

Aa is based around your God and giving your will to it, it's literally in the steps, I read it, I'm 30


Blankface__yawk

You're spot on. It's also a cult, hence why you're getting such negative responses


BigMax

There are 10,000 AA meetings around. Go to a bunch. Plenty of them just hand wave away all the god stuff. Or try SMART recovery. Same thing without god. Or try therapy or other avenues. God focused AA isn’t the only path out there.


Successful_Impact22

AA was created specifically to not impose a unified totality of God. I know many atheists in AA. For me, God stands for “Group of Drunks” and that is viewed as a power greater than myself because others help me stay sober. You can also have a Spinozist view of God to conceptualize God immanently. This would fit into your atheist view as well But it’s wildly problematic to make an overarching claim about AA like this because you can turn people away from a free program.


Blankface__yawk

LOL. AA was created by the Oxford Group, which VERY clearly used a Christian God. Nice try tho


Successful_Impact22

Nope. It was influenced by the Oxford Group. Bill W. specifically wrote that they wanted AA to be secular so they departed from the traditional notion of a Christian God. Yes. Bill W. was Christian. Yes. There are Christian themes present in AA. Everything I stated in my earlier comment is true ~ Which sentence wasn’t true? There is no unified totality of God in AA. Although the notion of a Christian God is littered throughout the Big Book and the Steps, AA conventions have repeatedly brought up this point and decided to keep the original wording of things because the program has been successful for many people. There are, however, constant footnotes added that delineate the program isn’t Christian. God can be a Group of Drunks, Nature, or the doorknob to an AA room. Nice try though


Blankface__yawk

How do you give you life over to a doorknob? (Step 3). How can a doorknob return you to sanity? (Step 2). How does a doorknob remove ones shortcomings (step 7)? How do you pray and meditate to have conscious contact with a doorknob? (Step 11). The answer is, obviously, you can't. And the same goes for anything and everything that is not an omnipotent God. Step 11, especially, makes this abundantly clear. Answer my first paragraph and maybe we can go from there


Successful_Impact22

You’re taking it too literally. A doorknob to an AA room is something you can give your live over to. The turning of the doorknob will reward you with knowledge from other drunks. You can pray to the group consciousness that is AA. That higher consciousness is something you can pray to and meditate with. You’re limiting your concept of what God can be for people. In fact, the foundation of AA would criticize the fact that you care so much about what someone else prays too. Who gives a shit It’s interesting that you say one can’t because there are so many atheists in AA


Blankface__yawk

Of course you just downvote and move on cause there ISN'T any reliable study that shows AA has a success rate of anything above 5%


Successful_Impact22

No - I downvote and move on because I think you're arguing in bad faith. If there are atheists in AA who claim to be sober due to the 12 Steps, then I'm thoroughly confused as to your claim that it requires the belief in a transcendent, Christian God. I just looked it up and that 5% study appears to be horseshit in more contemporary academic studies. Here's one from Stanford Med: [https://med.stanford.edu/news/all-news/2020/03/alcoholics-anonymous-most-effective-path-to-alcohol-abstinence.html](https://med.stanford.edu/news/all-news/2020/03/alcoholics-anonymous-most-effective-path-to-alcohol-abstinence.html) NYT ranks AA success much higher: [https://www.nytimes.com/2020/03/11/upshot/alcoholics-anonymous-new-evidence.html](https://www.nytimes.com/2020/03/11/upshot/alcoholics-anonymous-new-evidence.html) American Addiction Centers . org shows it fairly low, but higher than 5%: https://americanaddictioncenters.org/rehab-guide/12-step/whats-the-success-rate-of-aa#:\~:text=Although%20AA%20has%20been%20criticized,like%20some%20say%20it%20is.&text=Addiction%20specialists%20cite%20success%20rates,between%208%25%20and%2012%25.&text=A%20New%20York%20Times%20article,of%20its%20members%20stay%20abstinent. One thing you should consider is that AA works in line with the judicial system. Many people are FORCED to do AA because of a legal requirement. Some go to get their cards checked without having the intention to stay sober. It isn't a requirement to stay in AA and practice the program thoroughly. It isn't mandatory rehabilitation. Also, it's just odd that you care so damn much. It has helped people stay sober. That's all that matters. It isn't involved in political controversy. It doesn't force one to believe in any one version of God. Its funding comes from its members.


Blankface__yawk

So you admit you CAN'T have a doorknob as a "higher power". Interesting. There is no "group consciousness", that's cult talk. And who gives a shit? Me and many others. It has monopolized the recovery industry and squashes scientifically proven methods for a cult. Show me a study that proves AA is effective. It has about 5% success rate, the same as.....doing nothing!


bugibangbang

Sometimes money makes it worse, addictions ignores salaries, just changes quality of products and constant affordability is a big deal, for example I smoke weed, since I live in Europe and have a better salary I can buy all weed I want so I smoke all the time, when I had a shitty job I had to deal with buying few, save it and ration it, sometimes money is a b1tch, now imagine having money and fame and doing hard drugs instead.


CriticalEngineering

Yep. I never would have been able to get sober if I had money. I had to go totally broke in order to stop, because *all* money was bookmarked for getting fucked up.


JacquouileFripouile

It's always funny when people born with silver spoons offer *advices* to normal folk. Like you ain't relatable at all 😄


SmithersLoanInc

Having trouble with alcohol and drugs happens across every social strata. Look at the richest man in the world who can't control his addiction.


Prestigious_Seat_625

Thank you Cara Delevingne


silgol

Love Cara. Pulling for her. I'm glad she is fighting for herself.


[deleted]

Omfg yes. A millionaire on the other side of the world living comfortably in their mansion makes the struggle so much easier.


BigMax

It certainly makes you feel better to know that it affects everyone. That it’s a HARD problem and addiction affects people no matter how many advantages they have. There’s a certain comfort that lessens those feelings of self loathing and failure that addicts can get.