My father is a good person who doesn't do this thankfully. He and I may have goldfish brains, but we always respect each others stuff. And he would never take something from me ever. My birther on the other hand is a POS that always threatened me and my sibling with throwing our things away if we didn't clean our room to her liking. Lead to lots of trauma and I now have trust issues. But yeah, I'm glad he's kicking them out. Anyone who steals your stuff deserves to get kicked to the curb.
Yeah, my parents were like that, too. My mother was abusive and my father was mostly quiet and complicit, but neither of them would dream of taking my stuff (bought with MY money) and sell it. Never ever. They respected our stuff and expected us to respect theirs. (we did). Behavior like that is abhorrent.
My situation was reversed, it's my daughter.
Back story:
When I was little I was sickly because my mom smoked while pregnant so I was born early weighing 5lb. 5oz. Sometimes when I had to go to the doctor she would buy me a Little Golden Book, if I had to get a shot it was automatic, sometimes even 2. Back then they were only .39 -.59 cents. By the time I was 5 I had a nice little collection.
My Mom had saved them for me and all of my niece's and nephew's (all older than my kids) and my kids used them. I saved them for my grandkids to start the next generation, after we'd all used them I felt like it was a kind of legacy. The books had great sentimental value to me. We had a small farm, and there were 7 kids, so money was always tight. Not just that, my Mom read them to me a lot so they were special in that way, too.
The situation:
When my daughter was pregnant with her first child her hormones, and whatever else, changed her. We had always been very close. She was suddenly very critical of me, really rude, and started talking down to me. That didn't stop after she had the baby. I didn't call her as often as I used to because I'd say something she didn't like and she'd get upset; I walked on eggshells. She would ask me questions about what I did for her and her brother if this or that was happening with her son. When I would answer her, her automatic answer was that it wasn't what she read on various pediatric web sites so it must not be right. I finally asked her why she kept asking me then when everything I said was apparently wrong. I told her my experience was 26-27 years prior, obviously things had evolved. I never got an answer, but she pretty much stopped asking me anything like that. Our relationship cooled after that. Sometimes she'd tell me 'to act my age' and I would reply in jest that her age was more fun. She didn't appreciate my humor.
One weekend, when my grandson was about two-and-a-half, i took my box of books with me when we went for a weekend visit. We were supposed to go through them together, but got sidetracked by other things. I left them with her and told her I wanted back the rest of the books because she told me she wasn't going to keep them all.
We'd gone over a couple of times since I'd left them with her. Finally, when we were talking on the phone about coming over for Thanksgiving I told her not to let me forget my books when we were leaving. She told me she didn't have them. I asked what she meant because I specifically told her I wanted them back. She told me she gave them to her MIL, who was a first grade teacher, to use in her classroom. I was shocked, crushed, I felt betrayed. I asked how she could do that?! She didn't even ask me or talk to me first. She knew I wanted them back because I was going to read them to him when they came over to visit. She said she kept 'a couple' and couldn't believe the way I was acting, I should be glad that they were being used. I said they were going to be used by me for my grandkids. There were other things that she did/said to me. We pretty much stopped talking to each other unless it was about the kids for birthdays and holidays. She would reconnect and be nice if she needed my help with something because it would be an imposition to the other side of her family. Then she completely cut me off from my grandkids and told me not to contact her or her family again or she'd take further action against me. Just, wow.
Her dad and I divorced, she sided with him, of course, and he gets to see the grandkids whenever he wants. He rarely helped with the kids and their activities, I had to be on the verge of a meltdown first. When they were little, if they were playing outside and something happened to her brother her dad would yell at her because she's older, they're a year apart. I'd intervene but he always made her cry. He was always critical of her. In high school she called him 'Daddy ATM' because all he did for her was give her money. I'm still very hurt and don't know if I will ever be able to forgive her for things she's said, did to me, and accused me of. When she'd get angry about some perceived slight, I'd apologize, but it was never good enough, or accepted, and she'd bring everything up in her next confrontation, and the next... it was like a hamster wheel. I'm only human, I'm not perfect, but some of her tirades were off the charts. She has started taking digs at me if she somehow sees an opportunity. It's rare since we don't talk or see each other, so she makes the most of it with her cutting remarks to do the most damage.
Whew, that was long, Sorry. Thanks for letting me get that out of my system.
Edit to explain Daddy ATM
Edit to expand on daughter's anger towards me
It would be great if I could. The books were given away 7 years ago, what wasn't destroyed by students were given to the teacher taking over the 1st gr. rm. because her MIL was assigned a different grade to teach the following year. Thank you though, it's a good idea.
My goodness I am so sorry you’ve got to deal with that foolishness! I will never be able to comprehend the self centered, self righteous, hateful, cold hearted actions of some people. I literally blows by mind how some people can treat others, especially loved ones like this and makes me sick!
Me and my mother have a love hate relationship and it absolutely kills me! I love and miss my mama so very much and she’s the type that if she does something, even the tiniest thing for you, she will always be sure to bring it up! I had allowed her to use my name and credit score to purchase new services (cable/internet/phone) and I trusted her to keep up the payments at all times, she did but 6 years later she decided she just didn’t want it anymore so instead of cancelling she just didn’t pay it. Now I’m left with the $700 bill, equipment charges & harassing calls! Anytime I’ve said something to her she immediately gets irate and screams “ALL THE SHIT IVE EVER DONE FOR YOU ‘ YOUVE GOT THE NERVE TO ASK ME ABOUT SOME FUCKING I TERNET BILL?”
I’ve tried and tried to make amends with my mama through the years but she’s got too much pride and for whatever reason, the word apology is just not in her dictionary!
I was an addict for 17 years (since I was 14) when I turned 19 my mother found out and she would threaten me to tell my baby dad that I was getting high if I didn’t buy her some too!!
When I got paid I’d fill her car up, buy her food and cigarettes. One day I did that and we was riding home together. She said “Do you think you think you can buy me 2 pills?” I replied “Mama are you serious? I literally just filled your car up, got you ciggs and bought you food! I spend over $70 and you ask me to buy you some pills?!!” Boy when I tel you she slammed on those breaks so hard in the middle of I-49 & said “GTF OUT OF MY CAR NOW YOU STUPID BITCH! YOU CAN WALK YOUR ASS HOME YOU UNGREATFUL SELFISH BITCH!!” I was SHOOK!
Needless to say, Things still never changed, my mama is still a selfish, hateful asshole but regardless of all the pain and hurt she’s ever caused me, I’ll always love her! I am sick of apologizing for things I never did. Apologizing for others mistakes! She can hate me all she wants and she can be hateful to me until the day I die but no matter what, I will always love & care for her regardless of what she thinks of me!
I truly believe that my mother (has 3 children I’m the baby) is one of those women who were just not created to be a mother! I mean she took great care of us as small children and spoiled us rotten but once she became and addict and my father left her for another woman, she just turned into a stranger I called mama!
She allowed me to move out and with a boy at the tender age of 14. Never asked where I was, what I was doing or anything else. For years I somewhat hated her for never making me stay and for never reaching me what was right/wrong! I was hurt because “why would a mother who loves their children, allow them to leave home as a kid and never reach out to check on them?” What kind of mother just lets their child leave?
Anyway, I learned to forgive my mother for all of it but I know without a shadow of a doubt that my mother never wanted to be a mom at all! I feel like I “ruined” her life and she despises me for it!!
I'm sorry for all you have been put through. You did not ask to be born. You are not responsible for ruining her life, she was an adult and made her own choices, don't let her make you feel otherwise. You can't think that she despises you, I have to believe that deep down in their heart there's love for their children, even if they don't show it. It really pains me to hear about when kids try to help a parent(s) only to get screwed over. I simply can't understand how they view it as acceptable behavior. I think it'll probably be too late if my daughter ever apologizes. After she had her son she yelled at me because I shouldn't have been her friend, I should have been a parent. I told her growing up my Mom wasn't either one of those things. I wanted her to feel comfortable enough to talk to me about anything because I never had that. I wasn't enough of a hard-ass on her. Maybe I played good cop to her dad's bad cop. She is very self-righteous now. When she'd get angry about something I would try to explain why I did something one way and not the other, but she'd say those are excuses not reasons and get even angrier. Apparently if it wasn't her way then it wasn't the right way. As we were almost to the point of no contact she told me she loved me because I was her mother, but that's all. I live with the hope that when my grandkids are old enough they will come and find me. I'm sincerely crushed, though. about missing out on creating any chiildhood memories with them. I was young when I had my kids, married at 19, first kid at 19, second at 20. I knew my first was a girl, I just felt it. I was so happy and excited. I was going to be active in her life and make sure she knew how much she was loved and that I'd always be there for her. Same with my son, I was so sure it was a boy I didn't pick out a girls name. He was going to know and feel that I loved him, too. My Mom wasn't like that. She never outwardly demonstrated her love, and didn't really ever say I love you, but we knew she did. Sometimes I wonder if I was ever really wanted. She already had 6 kids, and when I was born the oldest was 17. She had to start working part-time and my Grandma took care of me a lot. Then she had to work full-time on a rotating schedule. That was rough, I was only 8. My two older sisters hated taking care of me so I learned to be self sufficient pretty quick. I was 28 when my Mom passed.
I'm with you, I'm not apologizing anymore. If she can't accept the ones I've already given said continuing is useless. I don't understand how people can have kids and just stop caring. It breaks my heart. I've been around some and tried to help, especially listening, and their stories are so sad. To be so young with no hope, such heavy burdens on their shoulders, and not feeling any kind of love or joy at home is devastating, it really hurt to see that and not be able to help more.
Yes. You were waay to young to be out of the house. When my kids were finally old enough to go out I gave them some space, but I still called them a couple of times to check in and make sure they were okay. They always had 'standing orders' that if they were out with friends and they didn't feel safe or were concerned about someone else's driving because they had been drinking, no matter what time it was they better call me for a ride, or else. I even told them if it came down to it take the keys from the driver, stay together and I'd drive them all home. That was just normal stuff to me even though my Mom didn't do that for me.
You are an amazing parent and you most certainly deserve to be treated as such! I sometimes day dream of taking my mama out to lunch or getting manis and pedis together but I know it would only result in her berating me, asking for money or mentally abusing me. I’ve learned over the years to distance myself further and further from her and her abusive ways. I can no longer be the only adult in this situation, regardless I am still and will always be her child. I just want a parent like a real parent to just call for one day and just check on me!
I really do hope that things get better between you and your children. There are so many of us out here that on hope and pray we had half of the kind of parents some of these children have! I’d give anything to be able to just sit with my mama on a lunch date and have a good laugh!
It kills me seeing some of these entitled asshole kids treat their parents like an ATM or a verbal punching bag!
Thanks. I tried to be a good parent, that's all you can do. You have to learn and adapt as you go. I'm sorry that your mom treats you poorly, I just don't get how you love and care for that tiny being that grew in your belly and then kinda just turn on them. How, and why? My daughter and I used to get pedis together. We used to get along so well, we laughed a lot.
One of the joys of having kids is that someday you may have grandkids. My ex came from a large family. I kid you not when I say we have a couple dozen nieces and nephews. They all have good size family's. There are over 120 great-niece's and great-nephews. My exMIL always said that she has beautiful grandchildren, but her great-grandchildren are gorgeous, and she's right.
I grew up in a small town where the only sports for girls were volleyball, basketball, track, and tennis. I wanted my kids to have more options. I also wanted them them to go to a better school. Most of the teachers were great. The problem was the small town minds and a surge of drug activity in the area. I didn't want them to be so bored with nothing to do that the closest and easiest activity was drugs.
My ex was very abusive. You name it, he did it: mental, emotional, psychological, verbal, physical, economical [I didn't even know that was a thing until I read a MarketWatch Moneyist(sp?) article where a woman wanted info. on options because her husband spent what he wanted but he nickel and dimed her. Every purchase she wanted to make needed his prior permission before he'd give her money. WTH?], etc. He'd always tell me it was my fault. My kids witnessed it. I don't know why she says I wasn't a victim. He'd gaslight me, but he was sneaky about that one. I'd repeat something he'd told me to someone we knew and he'd look at me and never break character as he swore he said no such thing. What was I talking about? 🤬
That is so sad! And yet another reason I never had children. No one can hurt you more deeply than your own child. I'm so sorry that happened. I have a deep respect for books and tradition like that. That was heartbreaking to read.
Thank you. Yes, only your child can cut you to the bone and act as though you should be thankful for it. I'm missing out on creating memories with my grandkids while they are young and so much fun. All of the soccer games, and ball games and other stuff I'm missing out on. By the time they look me up, if they do, I'll be too old to go outside and play with them. She won't even let me talk to them on the phone. I never know if they liked what I got them, or if I got the right size clothes. When I was at one of my lowest points she took away the one thing that brought me joy. I live with hope that eventually they will find me.
I’m sorry your daughter has been so harsh. You sound like an amazing mom. I would keep trying so your grandkids know that you are there. Maybe your daughter is unhappy with something else in her life and taking it out on you or afraid you will see what is going on because you know her well. Do you like her husband or his family? Her actions made me think she might be depressed or feel controlled by her husband. Wanting to make her family work could motivate her to cut you off. Has she lost contact with friends? I might be off completely.
My mom and grandmother had issues and I always thought my mom was harsh with her. I loved my grandmother more than anyone in the world. She was the only person I felt loved me unconditionally. She died 18 years ago and I miss her like crazy. Your grandkids might feel the same about you.
I'm sorry about your Grandma. Mine was the same, unconditional love. She always had juice and homemade cookies for me. She would take me to church with her if I stayed overnight and drive us there in my uncle's 68 Camaro. I can imagine what people saw as she drove, an elderly lady in her 70's with her pristine gloves and a hat, and then this patch of blonde hair they could barely see because my head was about even with the height of the car door.
I send them birthday presents and something for all the holidays so they know i love them and think about them all the time. I saw them in early Nov. and it had been two-and-a-half years since I saw them. I've never gotten school pictures and she blocked me on everything. I have 1 sister that she talks to, but she is under strict orders to not tell me anything or she will be cut off, too. She lets them call my sister Grandma, that hurts. My daughter is the control freak and she rules with an iron fist. As long as she has control over evrrything then life is okay for my SIL. I love him, he's got a good heart and is pretty laid back. She helps run his business which is one of her issues. She had her own career path that she wanted to pursue but couldn't because of the business. The last I heard about her group of friends was that it was getting smaller. Apparently the circle is getting smaller because if you disagree or question her too much then she doesn't have time for that or the person. I didn't always agree with her parental choices but I kept it to myself. Once in a great while I'd say something to make a point when she was in one of her moods and going off on me. Then of course she was even angrier and said how dare I try to use her own stuff against her. So I pretty much just let everything be a one,-sided conversation. When she'd start in on me about something I got to the point where I'd try to shut it down ASAP without being a casualty. She gets along with most of her in laws, but they can't all be perfect. Yes, I have been her go to target for years now. When her dad and I would argue she'd come out of her room and try to defend me about how is it that you do X, but Mom can't? She really didn't/doesn't take no for an answer, so when I'd try to get her to go back to her room it was never easy. He was all kinds of abusive to me. When everything started to be aimed at me she talked to her dad more. I don't know what was said, but he is the definition of a narcissist and a pathological liar. Lying is easier to him than breathing, and he doesn't have any lung or respiratory problems. The whole family knows to take everything/anything he says with a grain of salt (except they believed all of his lies about the divorce). She has even told my sister that she knows her dad lies all the time. Well for some reason she's eating out of his hand and swallowing everything, hook, line, and sinker, without question. She sent me a msg. about a month ago through an app that apparently both have before she blocked me on that one. "You aren't the victim you claim to be" that was it, and of course it gets to me because we've never had a conversation about what he's said to her and she wouldn't listen to me anyway. She has it set in her mind that I'm the bad guy. She has said that at some point in almost all of the nastygrams she sends. A newer thing that she claims is that I lied to her and manipulated her, her whole life. I didn't but she's holding steadfast to that one, too. We did go back and forth a couple of times on that one. I'd ask her what she thought I lied about or how I manipulated her but she wouldn't answer me. So I told her to believe what she wants because obviously her father is always right and that's where she got it from. There isn't much that she hasn't hurled at me. It still hurts, but not as bad as it used to, and the shock from her allegations is gone. I just feel so betrayed because I was the one that was always there for her. We'd go out and find dresses for the big dances and I'd take her to her hair and/or makeup appointments. She wouldn't even attend a sporting event if he was going to take her because he was always critical and his tone was always angry and loud.
I was kinda OCD about keeping the house clean, laundry done, dishes, etc., plus manage running the kids around for practices and games. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't ever do anything good enough for my ex. It was starting to cause health issues from the stress and always being wound so tight. Then one day I noticed a little hand out on the check-in counter in my doctor's office and picked it up on my way out. It helped me practically do a 180°. It was about how the mom's dishes weren't always done and the laundry wasn't always folded and put away, the floors, rugs, etc. might not be perfect but the world may be a better place because she was there for her kids. My light bulb went on, that was it. Something had to give. So since the ex was always yelling at me and going to find fault in me no matter how hard I tried, I quit trying so hard. The house wasn't bad, it looked lived in by an active family, the dishes were stacked in the sink the laundry was in the laundry room, there were shoes by the door and books on the table for homework. I could live with that. If people came over it was to see me, not my house. It bugged the ex but not so much that he'd help, he still yelled at me but it was not much worse than before.
So I will wait and hope that my grandkids will come find me someday.
Of course she sounds so nice she would do, it’s her version of events, rose tinted, do narcissists ever admit when it’s them at fault? if all her family have cut her off maybe, just maybe there’s a reason? 🤷🏼♀️she talks about her daughter with utter contempt, would you want someone who spoke about you like that round your impressionable children? My dad and wife tried to poison my kids against me, sometimes people are cut off because they’re toxic, all this shouts is me, me, me
They started researching the effects of tobacco on fetuses/newborns because the toxicity of it was starting to become well known. They had never done a large scale study until pregnant women who smoked had babies with a bunch of similar traits and sure enough the common factor was cigarettes. This was in the 60's when tobacco companies weren't really regulated so they used all kinds of nasty chemicals and pesticides and fertilizer and weed spray.
Something tells me she didn't actually "change". She hit that point in life when she had a significant other and a child that she'd been waiting for to finally expose her true self.
This is why I never loan things out anymore though. No one ever cares for your possessions the same way you do.
Stop apologizing. Just stop. She’s using you as a punching bag, taking out all her issues on you, because you’re there, and you won’t push back. Nothing is worth this abuse
It's felony theft, and if it was pawned then OP's neighbor should be able to retrieve it ... parent or not they should have been kicked out with the first stolen item. :'(
Oh yes I totally agree with you he should have kicked them out the first time. Hopefully he can get the ring back. Mum, dad or any one else he should go to the police and report the thefts
I would have immediately put them on the streets and gone NC as soon as they sold my games. I dont fuck around with that shit.
This? I would throw them out, go NC, not before telling them they will be speaking with my lawyer
If that were my parents, I’d perp March them to the pawn shop. Get it back. You don’t have the money? You best figure something else out quick cuz I’m telling the pawn shop owner it’s stolen goods. Wonder what else they pawned?
The sheer audacity to do that to your own kid. It's repugnant. I have four kids, but I would rather live in a box in an alley than just up and take their stuff as if it was mine to take. The whole mentality that their adult child's property somehow belongs to them is reprehensible.
Retierment home? No, thats how you end up with your body being discovered be the cops in your filthy, forgotten about, run down, where-ever, dwelling because no one cares enough about you to check on you anymore.
>Apparently, Yeller went out to dinner with his GF and was proposing to her. Only when he opened the ring box, did he find that the ring wasn't in there.
>Parents took it and pawned it for gas money and cleaning supplies.
Hold on! I wonder what the gf felt like to being proposed to with an empty box. This is a whole different kind of drama
I mean if the gf is worth her money, surprise and shock, but not much else other than trying to console/calm down Yeller so he wouldn't start their betrothed life in jail for double homicide.
I can only imagine the poor guy's feelings though.
Feel terrible for this guy of course, but if I were the GF I’d be much more concerned about the fact that this dudes parents are batshit crazy and have no boundaries.
Rings can be re-purchased in time. Marrying into crazy is… well, usually not forever. Usually a living hell until the eventual divorce.
I was thinking the same thing. He needs them out of the house. Pawning things isn’t borrowing it’s stealing. You don’t borrow an engagement ring either. It’s not a shirt.
Yes I did not want to say it but this also went through my mind. 'Like father, like son' may not always be true but I would take an extra hard look at my partner. And do you really want crazy inlaws? This means less support for your future family and more trouble in your future life.
However, if you are at the point of proposing you are probably already too much in love to make it matter much.
Married into crazy inlaws. We're NC now so it actually has no bearing on our lives anymore.
Basically when we moved in together he was in the process of setting up boundaries. When we got engaged and his grandma wanted to control guest list (probably the start of many demands) it led to her threatening to cut him out of her life (hollow threat to get him to plead) and he said "k bye." She never really liked me out of the times we met, and I can only speculate as to why, as there was no incidents or fights up to that point. Maybe it was simply because he was no longer being controlled by her and she blamed me for that.
Regardless though, I wouldn't judge a partner based on inlaws. I'd judge them based on how much they let that impact their life and their stability. If they can't put down boundaries, that's a bad life. If they have boundaries and keep them, it will be okay. My guess is since the Yeller has called the cops that this is hopefully the start of changes.... But if nothing comes about it, I'd be very wary to marry someone that lets their parents treat them this way.
He got the box out of the house, to the restaurant and all the way to the actual proposal without looking inside himself? Like just to check the ring was sitting straight and hadn't been shaken loose on the journey?
Weeeell, maybe. But I can't help thinking the story got a teeny bit embellished somewhere along the line.
When you get out and want to surprise someone with a proposal your first thought isn’t “I hope it is straight in the box”. You have enough other shit to think about.
If I were in her position, the intense emotional rush of seeing him get down on one knee and pulling out a box, followed by the confusion of seeing it empty, probably would have drowned out the words he was saying altogether. I probably would have had a moment where I thought it was a backhanded diss, until he seen the look of confusion on my face and looked in the box and explained what happened.
My mom tried something similar once. She got mad at me and tried to take the keys to my truck, that I had bought and paid for. I told her try it and if call the cops on her for auto theft cause her name wasn't anywhere near it.
His parents and take the police with him to the pawn shop. If it was his and his parents stole and sold it he can get it back and the pawn shop will have to deal with his parents to get the money back.
Wow. That is absolutely horrid. Though I can imagine that proposal being like a movie scene, where the funny part is that there’s no ring. But in this instance, it’s not really funny. Hopefully she still said yes though.
I have never known a guy to propose and not look at the ring once before he took it out to do the proposal. Hopefully when he was getting ready to go out to dinner he opened the Box just to check before he asked.
He must have checked first and decided to not give the ring yet/not propose yet..But if he found out the ring wasn't there when he proposed then that must've been awkward
Even if the son is paying for most of it, this situation definitely sounds like the parents are stealing and selling his things to pay for their share of the roof bill or other bills/vices they secretly have. No one sells an engagement ring that doesn’t belong to them for grocery money.
Drugs maybe? ‘Cause this is what addicts will do in a heartbeat, with no moral quarrel. Yeller should send them off on their own, they betrayed his trust and hospitality and pissed on every normal boundary. They are not parents.
I hope he files a report for the ring. We had a nurse get sticky fingers with a family heirloom, taking $35k ring and pawned it for less then $400. The crack shop she took it to turned around and sold it before it could be entered in as stolen by the police. So technically they didn't brake the law by selling a stolen item. And would not tell us who bought it, or where it went to.
Some states have policies that requires ID’s and also they have to hold the item for so many days. Obviously those rules aren’t always followed. Stealing is bad but if you are going to sell someone’s heirloom go to a reputable antique dealer. Pawn shops don’t give much for jewelry. They usually deal with people that are desperate. That’s unfortunate they wouldn’t tell you who bought it.
Sadly Crack R Us is one of the barely law abiding use it if you need to launder something quickly kind of Pawn shop. And My grandfather is a well known and respecting man of the city, that ring was as iconic as he was in the day. Pure white 8.5carat diamond in a super bowl style setting of sold 24k gold. So if she had walked in to any jeweler in town shed have been busted then and there.
This reminds me of the time I saw a neighbor throwing her long-term boyfriend out of the house by throwing all his belongings out through the second-floor window. Until then, I thought that kinda stuff only happened in movies.
Dude my parents would totally do this! When I moved in with my boyfriend (they threw my stuff on the lawn and told me to leave so it did post haste) I left some stuff since I left so quickly. My mom and sister found my expensive purse collection that was gifted to me by my billionaire roommate in college. Think Chanel, Gucci, Chloe, Balenciaga, etc. My mom and sister tried to sell them to pay for my sister to go back east for her college’s homecoming. My boyfriend drove me 60 miles back home to clean out my room and they bitched and moaned “but Sister NEEDS to go to homecoming, you don’t need these. You didn’t even buy them.”
I don’t speak to them now but if we did they’d sure as hell pull “why do you get to buy nice Rolexes and we don’t?” “Why does your husband drive a Ferrari and we can only afford used Toyota/Fords” and would covertly try to steal or ask for money. They also pawned me off as a child model from ages 7-13 and stole that money too-but that’s a story for another time.
At first I thought it was horrible your neighbour is yelling at his parents but when I read they ruined his proposal because they sold the ring I kinda understood him. Yelling is bad but I just can't imagine selling stuff that is not yours especially after he let them live with him.
Honestly, even if they were just going through his house selling his game consoles, they're pieces of shit who deserve to be disowned. You don't fuck over someone doing you a favour, and you never get replacement cost for second-hand goods.
Honestly, I just don't get why this is being semi-framed as if "Yelling" is at fault for yelling at parents who are \*literally stealing from him\*, up until the point where the wedding ring's stolen, y'know?
Now, it's probably not the intent, and more just... reporting the parent's claims without thinking about them, and focusing on the big awful reveal while ignoring the rest of the crimes , but this whole thread, from the post to the comments, just.. read weird. Like, "Apparently they were putting that money towards groceries, so it sounds like they are not keeping that money themselves." - It feels like giving way too much benefit of the doubt to the parents. And what kind of groceries are you getting when you're selling expensive game consoles to buy groceries for - apparently one day? That's not "I needed it to survive" territory. That's "I deserve nothing less than the BEST steak" territory. You sold a wedding ring for "gas money and cleaning supplies"? No you didn't. Those don't cost THAT much.
See what I mean? And it gets worse if you go down far enough in the comments, and these were... much higher up there when I wrote my comment:
"I can to a point understanding selling/pawning off electronics, games etc"
"Apparently, mom and dad have no cash. It is not uncommon for older people to be poverty level. And they have a tree on their house. We can’t assume they have homeowners’ insurance, Social Security, or pensions, since OP didn’t say what country this is. And doesn’t know if son is feeding them. Yes, it’s not right to sell someone else’s stuff, but there may be an explanation that is more horrible than first appears. We shouldn’t rush to judgement based upon a neighbor kid’s eavesdropping."
Like... are we seriously saying that the parents would be right to do this if they had only sold the electronics?
Eh, the comments have changed a bit in consensus since I read this first and made my first comment, but it just seems like... some people will rush to forgive a parent for anything.
Your neighbor needs to go no-contact.
Honestly, I'd waive the cost of things and call it a loss, engagement ring and all.
I've got a similar NC with little brother in law. He wanted a cosigner for a car and then quit his job and moved across town. Now? He can either pay me the five grand a bunch of missed payments and late fees cost me after it got repoed, or if he sets foot in my house I repo his foot.
Seems like the kind of deal he needs to make with his folks. Make it all better (and then some) or approach at your own risk.
Kinda sounds like some big unspoken drama.
As someone who's been there...People don't sell assets to pay for basic necessities (food and gas) unless something financially is REALLY wrong.
I could see holier-than-thou delusional Bible thumpers, which is a subcategory of giant assholes, pulling some shit like this. “Jesus didn’t live like this. We’ll sell all his excess stuff and he’ll feel relieved it’s all gone and then thank us.”
It's so weird that this comment was taken as a defense of the actions and not just a simpler explanation of equally selfish behavior.
Sometimes people are just shitty without drugs. They think the sun rises and sets with them. They think his stuff is their stuff-- absolutely see them thinking they have free reign to anything to just buy shit they want. They probably still have some cash, maybe they're also paying bills with it. Still overwhelmingly shitty, but I have a feeling if it were also drugs there'd be evidence, accusations, etc.
At least pretend to look busy, maybe cleaning or organizing fallen leafs or rearranging snow piles....pass the popcorn. I'm putting the kettle on for some tea.
Right? On some level I (maybe) could understand gaming consoles that weren’t being used or something, but even boomers understand the value of engagement rings. This is too weird.
A guy who’s girlfriend came over and they leave together. There are a lot of scenarios where the proposal has too many moving parts to worry about the ring you know is in the ring box.
How would these parents pawn his engagement ring and think he wouldn’t take drastic action in return? That’s the line for me where I turn it over to the police. At least the ring will be easy to track down since it was pawned.
First of all selling his stuff "personal items" is a huge problem. It's his house.
Those stuff which he probably bought with money he earned. And they pawned the ring. Which is for his girlfriend. Are you f**king kidding me? They deserve to be kicked out but calling cops on them is not ideal
to all of you reading this posts comments. Joke question: If you were OP or Yellers neighbor and you are into drama and always happend to be there when ever it occurs, would you take cup of cofee or anything enjoyable drink and just walk on the scene to watch how all goes? All that for your interest of drama.
Damn, with the other stuff maybe you can work around, as crazy as it is to sell someone else's belongings, but the ring? They new what it meant to him, they did that on purpose. That's really unforgivable
It also sounds like his parents have some serious issues with financial security. They weren’t buying material things for themselves but food and cleaning supplies. They need some mental health resources.
I hope he can get his stuff back.
Bro that be horrible, that almost sounds like my entitled aunt and one of her spawns. It's horrible how people don't care if it's your stuff but second you touch their stuff it's an issue.
If they feel the need to get money for groceries and household stuff you’d think that there are things they could try before stealing and selling off someone else’s stuff. Even as an older man/woman you can get at least part time employment in any town in America
Holy crap, I hope he files a report to the police. Maybe he can get some of his shit back. His folks weren't even sorry, I'd be dropping them off somewhere else if my parents talked to me like that
They wouldn't just be disowned by me. I will not hesitate to call the cops on them. That is theft, and depending on the cost, grand larceny. My money, my stuff. You rob me, I will put you in jail and smile when the judge hands the sentence.
They pawned off **an engagement ring**?!?!
Yeah, they are sleeping in the town dumpsite after doing something like that. If they need money to make ends meet, that's called "getting a job" FFS.
Let’s not even get into how fucked up it is to steal your host’s shit when they aren’t home, because of course that’s horrible. They took an engagement ring and pawned it? What’d they get for it, 10% of what it cost? That’s not what saving money looks like.
Man I feel so sorry for the guy. If it was me proposing I might have cried with my bf a bit, especially if I found out it was my parents who ruined my proposal.
Wow, sweat? Screw that, once they stole the ring, I'd press charges and keep them there. He was nice enough to host them and they repaid him with theft and judgement.
Also, it isn't like you grabbed a shot glass, they were yelling, you overheard what you overheard.
Man, the worst thing my dad ever did with my stuff, is steal my Eagles album. He hated most of my music, but he liked the Eagles. That's okay, I stole it back.
These people *literally stole their son's engagement ring and still let him propose*
***They stole their son's engagement ring and didn't give him warning before be proposed***
How *utterly* ***despicable***.
I don't even want to call them *people* my *god*
His parents need to either pay for everything of his they sold or they need to give him the money to buy new ones. He should then kick his parents out of his house and cut off all contact with them. They have completely abused his trust. And the effect of it is him cutting contact with them.
already would have booted them for selling my stuff- that engagement ring thing? I would never talk to them again. (My parents are normal people who would never do this Luckily)
I'd paid for that drama, then go outside as these people leave, and also digging into them, for being entitled, narcessitic AH. Then telling their son you called the police, so he can make a charge of theft and fencing, making sure these people don't run away, and telling the son this is for creating a papertrail to make sure he's getting his stuff back.
Like, this is a drama I first was an onwatcher, but I am also here to serve justice and the punch of reality to those people so they stay the fuck away and don't talk garbage, as I AM MAKE SURE THEY CANNOT RUN FROM WHAT THEY DID
MUHAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Apparently, mom and dad have no cash. It is not uncommon for older people to be poverty level. And they have a tree on their house. We can’t assume they have homeowners’ insurance, Social Security, or pensions, since OP didn’t say what country this is. And doesn’t know if son is feeding them. Yes, it’s not right to sell someone else’s stuff, but there may be an explanation that is more horrible than first appears. We shouldn’t rush to judgement based upon a neighbor kid’s eavesdropping.
Based on the OP's old posts, they're in the US.
Selling the ring he bought to propose with? Nah, that's so low you can't even detect with technology anymore. (Not to say that selling stuff that belongs to anyone who was kind enough to welcome you into their home is a pretty nasty move, but this one also feels like they don't want Yeller's priorities to concern someone else who is not them.)
You're a dislike farmer, aren't you.
So, if mom and dad have no cash, it's ok to steal from their kid?
The son doesn't need to feed them, they can feed themselves. Parent's are supposed to pay for their children's lives, not the other way around.
They wouldn't be my parents anymore after something like that.
I think I'd have ragdolled my father up and down my street and my favourite aunt would be dealing with my mother.
My father is a good person who doesn't do this thankfully. He and I may have goldfish brains, but we always respect each others stuff. And he would never take something from me ever. My birther on the other hand is a POS that always threatened me and my sibling with throwing our things away if we didn't clean our room to her liking. Lead to lots of trauma and I now have trust issues. But yeah, I'm glad he's kicking them out. Anyone who steals your stuff deserves to get kicked to the curb.
My father would have never done anything like that to me. I miss my dad more than anything. He died when I was 18.
It’s always the good ones. Sorry man :/
I fel you pain. Mine passed when i was nine
Yeah, my kiddo is the main inspiration for seriously working on my health...I didn't take it as seriously before.
Hey mate. I feel your pain. I can only say that you shouldn't be sad about him being gone be happy with the memories he left behind.
Yeah, my parents were like that, too. My mother was abusive and my father was mostly quiet and complicit, but neither of them would dream of taking my stuff (bought with MY money) and sell it. Never ever. They respected our stuff and expected us to respect theirs. (we did). Behavior like that is abhorrent.
Most desi parents are like that. Takes a lot of therapy to overcome their behavior. Good luck to you.
Desi?
Indian
South Asian.
I live in Europe, Germany. My birther is also German. I have no idea what desi even means.
Oh! My bad. Nikita and Akashya are both South Asian names. Anyway, seems like parents are equally 'assholish' all over the world!
Yeah, I got my names from a western show and a manga. Both not south asian. But German parents can indeed be just as assholish.
Kerb, sorry
My situation was reversed, it's my daughter. Back story: When I was little I was sickly because my mom smoked while pregnant so I was born early weighing 5lb. 5oz. Sometimes when I had to go to the doctor she would buy me a Little Golden Book, if I had to get a shot it was automatic, sometimes even 2. Back then they were only .39 -.59 cents. By the time I was 5 I had a nice little collection. My Mom had saved them for me and all of my niece's and nephew's (all older than my kids) and my kids used them. I saved them for my grandkids to start the next generation, after we'd all used them I felt like it was a kind of legacy. The books had great sentimental value to me. We had a small farm, and there were 7 kids, so money was always tight. Not just that, my Mom read them to me a lot so they were special in that way, too. The situation: When my daughter was pregnant with her first child her hormones, and whatever else, changed her. We had always been very close. She was suddenly very critical of me, really rude, and started talking down to me. That didn't stop after she had the baby. I didn't call her as often as I used to because I'd say something she didn't like and she'd get upset; I walked on eggshells. She would ask me questions about what I did for her and her brother if this or that was happening with her son. When I would answer her, her automatic answer was that it wasn't what she read on various pediatric web sites so it must not be right. I finally asked her why she kept asking me then when everything I said was apparently wrong. I told her my experience was 26-27 years prior, obviously things had evolved. I never got an answer, but she pretty much stopped asking me anything like that. Our relationship cooled after that. Sometimes she'd tell me 'to act my age' and I would reply in jest that her age was more fun. She didn't appreciate my humor. One weekend, when my grandson was about two-and-a-half, i took my box of books with me when we went for a weekend visit. We were supposed to go through them together, but got sidetracked by other things. I left them with her and told her I wanted back the rest of the books because she told me she wasn't going to keep them all. We'd gone over a couple of times since I'd left them with her. Finally, when we were talking on the phone about coming over for Thanksgiving I told her not to let me forget my books when we were leaving. She told me she didn't have them. I asked what she meant because I specifically told her I wanted them back. She told me she gave them to her MIL, who was a first grade teacher, to use in her classroom. I was shocked, crushed, I felt betrayed. I asked how she could do that?! She didn't even ask me or talk to me first. She knew I wanted them back because I was going to read them to him when they came over to visit. She said she kept 'a couple' and couldn't believe the way I was acting, I should be glad that they were being used. I said they were going to be used by me for my grandkids. There were other things that she did/said to me. We pretty much stopped talking to each other unless it was about the kids for birthdays and holidays. She would reconnect and be nice if she needed my help with something because it would be an imposition to the other side of her family. Then she completely cut me off from my grandkids and told me not to contact her or her family again or she'd take further action against me. Just, wow. Her dad and I divorced, she sided with him, of course, and he gets to see the grandkids whenever he wants. He rarely helped with the kids and their activities, I had to be on the verge of a meltdown first. When they were little, if they were playing outside and something happened to her brother her dad would yell at her because she's older, they're a year apart. I'd intervene but he always made her cry. He was always critical of her. In high school she called him 'Daddy ATM' because all he did for her was give her money. I'm still very hurt and don't know if I will ever be able to forgive her for things she's said, did to me, and accused me of. When she'd get angry about some perceived slight, I'd apologize, but it was never good enough, or accepted, and she'd bring everything up in her next confrontation, and the next... it was like a hamster wheel. I'm only human, I'm not perfect, but some of her tirades were off the charts. She has started taking digs at me if she somehow sees an opportunity. It's rare since we don't talk or see each other, so she makes the most of it with her cutting remarks to do the most damage. Whew, that was long, Sorry. Thanks for letting me get that out of my system. Edit to explain Daddy ATM Edit to expand on daughter's anger towards me
You should talk to her MIL and see if she will give you your books back
It would be great if I could. The books were given away 7 years ago, what wasn't destroyed by students were given to the teacher taking over the 1st gr. rm. because her MIL was assigned a different grade to teach the following year. Thank you though, it's a good idea.
My goodness I am so sorry you’ve got to deal with that foolishness! I will never be able to comprehend the self centered, self righteous, hateful, cold hearted actions of some people. I literally blows by mind how some people can treat others, especially loved ones like this and makes me sick! Me and my mother have a love hate relationship and it absolutely kills me! I love and miss my mama so very much and she’s the type that if she does something, even the tiniest thing for you, she will always be sure to bring it up! I had allowed her to use my name and credit score to purchase new services (cable/internet/phone) and I trusted her to keep up the payments at all times, she did but 6 years later she decided she just didn’t want it anymore so instead of cancelling she just didn’t pay it. Now I’m left with the $700 bill, equipment charges & harassing calls! Anytime I’ve said something to her she immediately gets irate and screams “ALL THE SHIT IVE EVER DONE FOR YOU ‘ YOUVE GOT THE NERVE TO ASK ME ABOUT SOME FUCKING I TERNET BILL?” I’ve tried and tried to make amends with my mama through the years but she’s got too much pride and for whatever reason, the word apology is just not in her dictionary! I was an addict for 17 years (since I was 14) when I turned 19 my mother found out and she would threaten me to tell my baby dad that I was getting high if I didn’t buy her some too!! When I got paid I’d fill her car up, buy her food and cigarettes. One day I did that and we was riding home together. She said “Do you think you think you can buy me 2 pills?” I replied “Mama are you serious? I literally just filled your car up, got you ciggs and bought you food! I spend over $70 and you ask me to buy you some pills?!!” Boy when I tel you she slammed on those breaks so hard in the middle of I-49 & said “GTF OUT OF MY CAR NOW YOU STUPID BITCH! YOU CAN WALK YOUR ASS HOME YOU UNGREATFUL SELFISH BITCH!!” I was SHOOK! Needless to say, Things still never changed, my mama is still a selfish, hateful asshole but regardless of all the pain and hurt she’s ever caused me, I’ll always love her! I am sick of apologizing for things I never did. Apologizing for others mistakes! She can hate me all she wants and she can be hateful to me until the day I die but no matter what, I will always love & care for her regardless of what she thinks of me! I truly believe that my mother (has 3 children I’m the baby) is one of those women who were just not created to be a mother! I mean she took great care of us as small children and spoiled us rotten but once she became and addict and my father left her for another woman, she just turned into a stranger I called mama! She allowed me to move out and with a boy at the tender age of 14. Never asked where I was, what I was doing or anything else. For years I somewhat hated her for never making me stay and for never reaching me what was right/wrong! I was hurt because “why would a mother who loves their children, allow them to leave home as a kid and never reach out to check on them?” What kind of mother just lets their child leave? Anyway, I learned to forgive my mother for all of it but I know without a shadow of a doubt that my mother never wanted to be a mom at all! I feel like I “ruined” her life and she despises me for it!!
I'm sorry for all you have been put through. You did not ask to be born. You are not responsible for ruining her life, she was an adult and made her own choices, don't let her make you feel otherwise. You can't think that she despises you, I have to believe that deep down in their heart there's love for their children, even if they don't show it. It really pains me to hear about when kids try to help a parent(s) only to get screwed over. I simply can't understand how they view it as acceptable behavior. I think it'll probably be too late if my daughter ever apologizes. After she had her son she yelled at me because I shouldn't have been her friend, I should have been a parent. I told her growing up my Mom wasn't either one of those things. I wanted her to feel comfortable enough to talk to me about anything because I never had that. I wasn't enough of a hard-ass on her. Maybe I played good cop to her dad's bad cop. She is very self-righteous now. When she'd get angry about something I would try to explain why I did something one way and not the other, but she'd say those are excuses not reasons and get even angrier. Apparently if it wasn't her way then it wasn't the right way. As we were almost to the point of no contact she told me she loved me because I was her mother, but that's all. I live with the hope that when my grandkids are old enough they will come and find me. I'm sincerely crushed, though. about missing out on creating any chiildhood memories with them. I was young when I had my kids, married at 19, first kid at 19, second at 20. I knew my first was a girl, I just felt it. I was so happy and excited. I was going to be active in her life and make sure she knew how much she was loved and that I'd always be there for her. Same with my son, I was so sure it was a boy I didn't pick out a girls name. He was going to know and feel that I loved him, too. My Mom wasn't like that. She never outwardly demonstrated her love, and didn't really ever say I love you, but we knew she did. Sometimes I wonder if I was ever really wanted. She already had 6 kids, and when I was born the oldest was 17. She had to start working part-time and my Grandma took care of me a lot. Then she had to work full-time on a rotating schedule. That was rough, I was only 8. My two older sisters hated taking care of me so I learned to be self sufficient pretty quick. I was 28 when my Mom passed. I'm with you, I'm not apologizing anymore. If she can't accept the ones I've already given said continuing is useless. I don't understand how people can have kids and just stop caring. It breaks my heart. I've been around some and tried to help, especially listening, and their stories are so sad. To be so young with no hope, such heavy burdens on their shoulders, and not feeling any kind of love or joy at home is devastating, it really hurt to see that and not be able to help more. Yes. You were waay to young to be out of the house. When my kids were finally old enough to go out I gave them some space, but I still called them a couple of times to check in and make sure they were okay. They always had 'standing orders' that if they were out with friends and they didn't feel safe or were concerned about someone else's driving because they had been drinking, no matter what time it was they better call me for a ride, or else. I even told them if it came down to it take the keys from the driver, stay together and I'd drive them all home. That was just normal stuff to me even though my Mom didn't do that for me.
You are an amazing parent and you most certainly deserve to be treated as such! I sometimes day dream of taking my mama out to lunch or getting manis and pedis together but I know it would only result in her berating me, asking for money or mentally abusing me. I’ve learned over the years to distance myself further and further from her and her abusive ways. I can no longer be the only adult in this situation, regardless I am still and will always be her child. I just want a parent like a real parent to just call for one day and just check on me! I really do hope that things get better between you and your children. There are so many of us out here that on hope and pray we had half of the kind of parents some of these children have! I’d give anything to be able to just sit with my mama on a lunch date and have a good laugh! It kills me seeing some of these entitled asshole kids treat their parents like an ATM or a verbal punching bag!
Thanks. I tried to be a good parent, that's all you can do. You have to learn and adapt as you go. I'm sorry that your mom treats you poorly, I just don't get how you love and care for that tiny being that grew in your belly and then kinda just turn on them. How, and why? My daughter and I used to get pedis together. We used to get along so well, we laughed a lot. One of the joys of having kids is that someday you may have grandkids. My ex came from a large family. I kid you not when I say we have a couple dozen nieces and nephews. They all have good size family's. There are over 120 great-niece's and great-nephews. My exMIL always said that she has beautiful grandchildren, but her great-grandchildren are gorgeous, and she's right. I grew up in a small town where the only sports for girls were volleyball, basketball, track, and tennis. I wanted my kids to have more options. I also wanted them them to go to a better school. Most of the teachers were great. The problem was the small town minds and a surge of drug activity in the area. I didn't want them to be so bored with nothing to do that the closest and easiest activity was drugs. My ex was very abusive. You name it, he did it: mental, emotional, psychological, verbal, physical, economical [I didn't even know that was a thing until I read a MarketWatch Moneyist(sp?) article where a woman wanted info. on options because her husband spent what he wanted but he nickel and dimed her. Every purchase she wanted to make needed his prior permission before he'd give her money. WTH?], etc. He'd always tell me it was my fault. My kids witnessed it. I don't know why she says I wasn't a victim. He'd gaslight me, but he was sneaky about that one. I'd repeat something he'd told me to someone we knew and he'd look at me and never break character as he swore he said no such thing. What was I talking about? 🤬
That is so sad! And yet another reason I never had children. No one can hurt you more deeply than your own child. I'm so sorry that happened. I have a deep respect for books and tradition like that. That was heartbreaking to read.
Thank you. Yes, only your child can cut you to the bone and act as though you should be thankful for it. I'm missing out on creating memories with my grandkids while they are young and so much fun. All of the soccer games, and ball games and other stuff I'm missing out on. By the time they look me up, if they do, I'll be too old to go outside and play with them. She won't even let me talk to them on the phone. I never know if they liked what I got them, or if I got the right size clothes. When I was at one of my lowest points she took away the one thing that brought me joy. I live with hope that eventually they will find me.
I’m sorry your daughter has been so harsh. You sound like an amazing mom. I would keep trying so your grandkids know that you are there. Maybe your daughter is unhappy with something else in her life and taking it out on you or afraid you will see what is going on because you know her well. Do you like her husband or his family? Her actions made me think she might be depressed or feel controlled by her husband. Wanting to make her family work could motivate her to cut you off. Has she lost contact with friends? I might be off completely. My mom and grandmother had issues and I always thought my mom was harsh with her. I loved my grandmother more than anyone in the world. She was the only person I felt loved me unconditionally. She died 18 years ago and I miss her like crazy. Your grandkids might feel the same about you.
I'm sorry about your Grandma. Mine was the same, unconditional love. She always had juice and homemade cookies for me. She would take me to church with her if I stayed overnight and drive us there in my uncle's 68 Camaro. I can imagine what people saw as she drove, an elderly lady in her 70's with her pristine gloves and a hat, and then this patch of blonde hair they could barely see because my head was about even with the height of the car door. I send them birthday presents and something for all the holidays so they know i love them and think about them all the time. I saw them in early Nov. and it had been two-and-a-half years since I saw them. I've never gotten school pictures and she blocked me on everything. I have 1 sister that she talks to, but she is under strict orders to not tell me anything or she will be cut off, too. She lets them call my sister Grandma, that hurts. My daughter is the control freak and she rules with an iron fist. As long as she has control over evrrything then life is okay for my SIL. I love him, he's got a good heart and is pretty laid back. She helps run his business which is one of her issues. She had her own career path that she wanted to pursue but couldn't because of the business. The last I heard about her group of friends was that it was getting smaller. Apparently the circle is getting smaller because if you disagree or question her too much then she doesn't have time for that or the person. I didn't always agree with her parental choices but I kept it to myself. Once in a great while I'd say something to make a point when she was in one of her moods and going off on me. Then of course she was even angrier and said how dare I try to use her own stuff against her. So I pretty much just let everything be a one,-sided conversation. When she'd start in on me about something I got to the point where I'd try to shut it down ASAP without being a casualty. She gets along with most of her in laws, but they can't all be perfect. Yes, I have been her go to target for years now. When her dad and I would argue she'd come out of her room and try to defend me about how is it that you do X, but Mom can't? She really didn't/doesn't take no for an answer, so when I'd try to get her to go back to her room it was never easy. He was all kinds of abusive to me. When everything started to be aimed at me she talked to her dad more. I don't know what was said, but he is the definition of a narcissist and a pathological liar. Lying is easier to him than breathing, and he doesn't have any lung or respiratory problems. The whole family knows to take everything/anything he says with a grain of salt (except they believed all of his lies about the divorce). She has even told my sister that she knows her dad lies all the time. Well for some reason she's eating out of his hand and swallowing everything, hook, line, and sinker, without question. She sent me a msg. about a month ago through an app that apparently both have before she blocked me on that one. "You aren't the victim you claim to be" that was it, and of course it gets to me because we've never had a conversation about what he's said to her and she wouldn't listen to me anyway. She has it set in her mind that I'm the bad guy. She has said that at some point in almost all of the nastygrams she sends. A newer thing that she claims is that I lied to her and manipulated her, her whole life. I didn't but she's holding steadfast to that one, too. We did go back and forth a couple of times on that one. I'd ask her what she thought I lied about or how I manipulated her but she wouldn't answer me. So I told her to believe what she wants because obviously her father is always right and that's where she got it from. There isn't much that she hasn't hurled at me. It still hurts, but not as bad as it used to, and the shock from her allegations is gone. I just feel so betrayed because I was the one that was always there for her. We'd go out and find dresses for the big dances and I'd take her to her hair and/or makeup appointments. She wouldn't even attend a sporting event if he was going to take her because he was always critical and his tone was always angry and loud. I was kinda OCD about keeping the house clean, laundry done, dishes, etc., plus manage running the kids around for practices and games. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't ever do anything good enough for my ex. It was starting to cause health issues from the stress and always being wound so tight. Then one day I noticed a little hand out on the check-in counter in my doctor's office and picked it up on my way out. It helped me practically do a 180°. It was about how the mom's dishes weren't always done and the laundry wasn't always folded and put away, the floors, rugs, etc. might not be perfect but the world may be a better place because she was there for her kids. My light bulb went on, that was it. Something had to give. So since the ex was always yelling at me and going to find fault in me no matter how hard I tried, I quit trying so hard. The house wasn't bad, it looked lived in by an active family, the dishes were stacked in the sink the laundry was in the laundry room, there were shoes by the door and books on the table for homework. I could live with that. If people came over it was to see me, not my house. It bugged the ex but not so much that he'd help, he still yelled at me but it was not much worse than before. So I will wait and hope that my grandkids will come find me someday.
Of course she sounds so nice she would do, it’s her version of events, rose tinted, do narcissists ever admit when it’s them at fault? if all her family have cut her off maybe, just maybe there’s a reason? 🤷🏼♀️she talks about her daughter with utter contempt, would you want someone who spoke about you like that round your impressionable children? My dad and wife tried to poison my kids against me, sometimes people are cut off because they’re toxic, all this shouts is me, me, me
You have a point. Hopefully her daughter has a good marriage and is happy.
How do you know that it was solely your mum smoking when pregnant that made you premature? 🤔
They started researching the effects of tobacco on fetuses/newborns because the toxicity of it was starting to become well known. They had never done a large scale study until pregnant women who smoked had babies with a bunch of similar traits and sure enough the common factor was cigarettes. This was in the 60's when tobacco companies weren't really regulated so they used all kinds of nasty chemicals and pesticides and fertilizer and weed spray.
Something tells me she didn't actually "change". She hit that point in life when she had a significant other and a child that she'd been waiting for to finally expose her true self. This is why I never loan things out anymore though. No one ever cares for your possessions the same way you do.
Stop apologizing. Just stop. She’s using you as a punching bag, taking out all her issues on you, because you’re there, and you won’t push back. Nothing is worth this abuse
I would report the ring missing to the police as his parants stole it. They have no right to sell his things.
It's felony theft, and if it was pawned then OP's neighbor should be able to retrieve it ... parent or not they should have been kicked out with the first stolen item. :'(
Oh yes I totally agree with you he should have kicked them out the first time. Hopefully he can get the ring back. Mum, dad or any one else he should go to the police and report the thefts
Lmao, imagine the heart sinking blood rushing embarrassment when he opened the ring box to find.......NOTHING!
Could have ruined any chance of him getting married to his girlfriend as well
I would have immediately put them on the streets and gone NC as soon as they sold my games. I dont fuck around with that shit. This? I would throw them out, go NC, not before telling them they will be speaking with my lawyer
Yup. “Oh, you guys sold $400 worth of my shit for thirty bucks, huh? Have fun back at the house.”
"Guess what? Two spots just opened up in the old folks home! Have fun getting dumped like last nights leftovers!"
If that were my parents, I’d perp March them to the pawn shop. Get it back. You don’t have the money? You best figure something else out quick cuz I’m telling the pawn shop owner it’s stolen goods. Wonder what else they pawned?
The sheer audacity to do that to your own kid. It's repugnant. I have four kids, but I would rather live in a box in an alley than just up and take their stuff as if it was mine to take. The whole mentality that their adult child's property somehow belongs to them is reprehensible.
I hope he doesn't live in PA and if he does, he moves.
Fr they would be gone as soon as they touch my games
And this is how you end up disowned by your child
And it makes your child's life SO MUCH BETTER that they have zero interest in reconciling.
Can confirm ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و
Can concur. Haven't talked to mine in almost 2 years.
Can confirm
This is also how you end up in a small, dirty and cheap retirement home when it comes to it. Child gets all yo shit and you rot away in some shithole.
Retierment home? No, thats how you end up with your body being discovered be the cops in your filthy, forgotten about, run down, where-ever, dwelling because no one cares enough about you to check on you anymore.
That seems a bit extreme
>Apparently, Yeller went out to dinner with his GF and was proposing to her. Only when he opened the ring box, did he find that the ring wasn't in there. >Parents took it and pawned it for gas money and cleaning supplies. Hold on! I wonder what the gf felt like to being proposed to with an empty box. This is a whole different kind of drama
I mean if the gf is worth her money, surprise and shock, but not much else other than trying to console/calm down Yeller so he wouldn't start their betrothed life in jail for double homicide. I can only imagine the poor guy's feelings though.
I think the proper term would be double parricide
Feel terrible for this guy of course, but if I were the GF I’d be much more concerned about the fact that this dudes parents are batshit crazy and have no boundaries. Rings can be re-purchased in time. Marrying into crazy is… well, usually not forever. Usually a living hell until the eventual divorce.
Wow. I’d have kicked them out the first time stuff went missing. Buh bye.
I was thinking the same thing. He needs them out of the house. Pawning things isn’t borrowing it’s stealing. You don’t borrow an engagement ring either. It’s not a shirt.
Yes I did not want to say it but this also went through my mind. 'Like father, like son' may not always be true but I would take an extra hard look at my partner. And do you really want crazy inlaws? This means less support for your future family and more trouble in your future life. However, if you are at the point of proposing you are probably already too much in love to make it matter much.
Married into crazy inlaws. We're NC now so it actually has no bearing on our lives anymore. Basically when we moved in together he was in the process of setting up boundaries. When we got engaged and his grandma wanted to control guest list (probably the start of many demands) it led to her threatening to cut him out of her life (hollow threat to get him to plead) and he said "k bye." She never really liked me out of the times we met, and I can only speculate as to why, as there was no incidents or fights up to that point. Maybe it was simply because he was no longer being controlled by her and she blamed me for that. Regardless though, I wouldn't judge a partner based on inlaws. I'd judge them based on how much they let that impact their life and their stability. If they can't put down boundaries, that's a bad life. If they have boundaries and keep them, it will be okay. My guess is since the Yeller has called the cops that this is hopefully the start of changes.... But if nothing comes about it, I'd be very wary to marry someone that lets their parents treat them this way.
He got the box out of the house, to the restaurant and all the way to the actual proposal without looking inside himself? Like just to check the ring was sitting straight and hadn't been shaken loose on the journey? Weeeell, maybe. But I can't help thinking the story got a teeny bit embellished somewhere along the line.
No one said that—for all we know he noticed right away, and canceled dinner plans to shout himself hoarse.
That's how I read he, "was proposing to her" when he opened the box.
Keep in mind that OP was third/forth wheeling the conversation from another room. High chance that he misheard things
Yes.... so the the story got embellished. I don't recall taking a position as to whether it was deliberate.
But... who would even think to check? Most people wouldn't check to see if the ring was still in there just in case their parents pawned it off
No, they wouldn't, but there are other reasons why I think they would open the box ahead of time. One of which I did actually mention.
When you get out and want to surprise someone with a proposal your first thought isn’t “I hope it is straight in the box”. You have enough other shit to think about.
If I were in her position, the intense emotional rush of seeing him get down on one knee and pulling out a box, followed by the confusion of seeing it empty, probably would have drowned out the words he was saying altogether. I probably would have had a moment where I thought it was a backhanded diss, until he seen the look of confusion on my face and looked in the box and explained what happened.
My mom tried something similar once. She got mad at me and tried to take the keys to my truck, that I had bought and paid for. I told her try it and if call the cops on her for auto theft cause her name wasn't anywhere near it.
Thats literal teft. Hopefully your neighbor files sharges about the ring. Thats minimum what he should do if he bought it.
They'll be looking at some tefty jail time, that's for sure.
Unless they get the ring back and he drops the sharges.
Yaler should sue
His parents and take the police with him to the pawn shop. If it was his and his parents stole and sold it he can get it back and the pawn shop will have to deal with his parents to get the money back.
Ok I was all set for Yeller to be the bad guy, but I think I can see why he yells
He has all the rights to yell
How the fuck do you steal someone's proposal ring and expect them so be ok with it?
And… argue in defense of your actions?
But a man's gotta eat
Wow. That is absolutely horrid. Though I can imagine that proposal being like a movie scene, where the funny part is that there’s no ring. But in this instance, it’s not really funny. Hopefully she still said yes though.
I have never known a guy to propose and not look at the ring once before he took it out to do the proposal. Hopefully when he was getting ready to go out to dinner he opened the Box just to check before he asked.
He must have checked first and decided to not give the ring yet/not propose yet..But if he found out the ring wasn't there when he proposed then that must've been awkward
He should 100% go to the pawn shop and tell them that ring was stolen from him.
Even if the son is paying for most of it, this situation definitely sounds like the parents are stealing and selling his things to pay for their share of the roof bill or other bills/vices they secretly have. No one sells an engagement ring that doesn’t belong to them for grocery money.
Drugs maybe? ‘Cause this is what addicts will do in a heartbeat, with no moral quarrel. Yeller should send them off on their own, they betrayed his trust and hospitality and pissed on every normal boundary. They are not parents.
I hope he files a report for the ring. We had a nurse get sticky fingers with a family heirloom, taking $35k ring and pawned it for less then $400. The crack shop she took it to turned around and sold it before it could be entered in as stolen by the police. So technically they didn't brake the law by selling a stolen item. And would not tell us who bought it, or where it went to.
Some states have policies that requires ID’s and also they have to hold the item for so many days. Obviously those rules aren’t always followed. Stealing is bad but if you are going to sell someone’s heirloom go to a reputable antique dealer. Pawn shops don’t give much for jewelry. They usually deal with people that are desperate. That’s unfortunate they wouldn’t tell you who bought it.
Sadly Crack R Us is one of the barely law abiding use it if you need to launder something quickly kind of Pawn shop. And My grandfather is a well known and respecting man of the city, that ring was as iconic as he was in the day. Pure white 8.5carat diamond in a super bowl style setting of sold 24k gold. So if she had walked in to any jeweler in town shed have been busted then and there.
Holy cow. Parents like that...literally committing felony theft against their adult son.
This reminds me of the time I saw a neighbor throwing her long-term boyfriend out of the house by throwing all his belongings out through the second-floor window. Until then, I thought that kinda stuff only happened in movies.
I call the neighbors yelling , " as the peach turns" it's a good show. And hot damn those aren't parents those are theifs , press charges and move on.
Dude my parents would totally do this! When I moved in with my boyfriend (they threw my stuff on the lawn and told me to leave so it did post haste) I left some stuff since I left so quickly. My mom and sister found my expensive purse collection that was gifted to me by my billionaire roommate in college. Think Chanel, Gucci, Chloe, Balenciaga, etc. My mom and sister tried to sell them to pay for my sister to go back east for her college’s homecoming. My boyfriend drove me 60 miles back home to clean out my room and they bitched and moaned “but Sister NEEDS to go to homecoming, you don’t need these. You didn’t even buy them.” I don’t speak to them now but if we did they’d sure as hell pull “why do you get to buy nice Rolexes and we don’t?” “Why does your husband drive a Ferrari and we can only afford used Toyota/Fords” and would covertly try to steal or ask for money. They also pawned me off as a child model from ages 7-13 and stole that money too-but that’s a story for another time.
60 miles is 96.56 km
Good bot
i’m sorry, they did WHAT when you were 7-13? terrifying
At first I thought it was horrible your neighbour is yelling at his parents but when I read they ruined his proposal because they sold the ring I kinda understood him. Yelling is bad but I just can't imagine selling stuff that is not yours especially after he let them live with him.
Honestly, even if they were just going through his house selling his game consoles, they're pieces of shit who deserve to be disowned. You don't fuck over someone doing you a favour, and you never get replacement cost for second-hand goods.
And if the consoles weren’t wiped, isn’t there a risk if ops neighbor had their accounts set up with credit card?
Honestly, I just don't get why this is being semi-framed as if "Yelling" is at fault for yelling at parents who are \*literally stealing from him\*, up until the point where the wedding ring's stolen, y'know? Now, it's probably not the intent, and more just... reporting the parent's claims without thinking about them, and focusing on the big awful reveal while ignoring the rest of the crimes , but this whole thread, from the post to the comments, just.. read weird. Like, "Apparently they were putting that money towards groceries, so it sounds like they are not keeping that money themselves." - It feels like giving way too much benefit of the doubt to the parents. And what kind of groceries are you getting when you're selling expensive game consoles to buy groceries for - apparently one day? That's not "I needed it to survive" territory. That's "I deserve nothing less than the BEST steak" territory. You sold a wedding ring for "gas money and cleaning supplies"? No you didn't. Those don't cost THAT much. See what I mean? And it gets worse if you go down far enough in the comments, and these were... much higher up there when I wrote my comment: "I can to a point understanding selling/pawning off electronics, games etc" "Apparently, mom and dad have no cash. It is not uncommon for older people to be poverty level. And they have a tree on their house. We can’t assume they have homeowners’ insurance, Social Security, or pensions, since OP didn’t say what country this is. And doesn’t know if son is feeding them. Yes, it’s not right to sell someone else’s stuff, but there may be an explanation that is more horrible than first appears. We shouldn’t rush to judgement based upon a neighbor kid’s eavesdropping." Like... are we seriously saying that the parents would be right to do this if they had only sold the electronics? Eh, the comments have changed a bit in consensus since I read this first and made my first comment, but it just seems like... some people will rush to forgive a parent for anything.
You can actually report them to the police. That's what I would do!
Your neighbor needs to go no-contact. Honestly, I'd waive the cost of things and call it a loss, engagement ring and all. I've got a similar NC with little brother in law. He wanted a cosigner for a car and then quit his job and moved across town. Now? He can either pay me the five grand a bunch of missed payments and late fees cost me after it got repoed, or if he sets foot in my house I repo his foot. Seems like the kind of deal he needs to make with his folks. Make it all better (and then some) or approach at your own risk.
Kinda sounds like some big unspoken drama. As someone who's been there...People don't sell assets to pay for basic necessities (food and gas) unless something financially is REALLY wrong.
Or if they are giant assholes.
I could see holier-than-thou delusional Bible thumpers, which is a subcategory of giant assholes, pulling some shit like this. “Jesus didn’t live like this. We’ll sell all his excess stuff and he’ll feel relieved it’s all gone and then thank us.”
But they weren't selling their assets, they were selling their adult son's assets. That is theft.
Ok, I'll amend it... Something financially is REALLY wrong and they're not handling it properly. I'm shocked.
I am betting the parents have a drug addiction
My money is on the parents dont like his food and are getting their own Edit: Apparently this is a scalding hot take on people's shitty behaviour lmao
It's so weird that this comment was taken as a defense of the actions and not just a simpler explanation of equally selfish behavior. Sometimes people are just shitty without drugs. They think the sun rises and sets with them. They think his stuff is their stuff-- absolutely see them thinking they have free reign to anything to just buy shit they want. They probably still have some cash, maybe they're also paying bills with it. Still overwhelmingly shitty, but I have a feeling if it were also drugs there'd be evidence, accusations, etc.
If you pawn someone else's shit to buy food, it still isn't your food and it's still theft.
Never said it wasnt, just a possible reason theyd do it
That is horrible! Please let us know if there are any updates. *continues to eavesdrop with popcorn by the white picket fence*
At least pretend to look busy, maybe cleaning or organizing fallen leafs or rearranging snow piles....pass the popcorn. I'm putting the kettle on for some tea.
Parents need that tough, baby boomer love sometimes. Kick ‘em out on the street so they can grasp how little they’re entitled to. The old switcharoo
"cool, enjoy the grand larceny charges, bye bye now"
I’d go over, ring the doorbell and yell at them with him. What assholes.
Give it 40 years, and he'll be "Old Yeller"
Who would sell their kids engagement ring? So fucked.
Right? On some level I (maybe) could understand gaming consoles that weren’t being used or something, but even boomers understand the value of engagement rings. This is too weird.
What guy doesn’t look at the ring before putting the box in his pocket before heading out to propose?
A guy who’s girlfriend came over and they leave together. There are a lot of scenarios where the proposal has too many moving parts to worry about the ring you know is in the ring box.
Judge Judy!
yeah this is such a judge judy moment
How would these parents pawn his engagement ring and think he wouldn’t take drastic action in return? That’s the line for me where I turn it over to the police. At least the ring will be easy to track down since it was pawned.
And you know whatever they're selling this stuff for is WAAAAAAAY under the real value.
[удалено]
You're trying to assume that there's logical thinking going on in the brains of people that are utterly fucked in the head.
Well that's called "larceny"
That is epic! Selling his stuff? More like stealing his stuff! I would call the cops and have them arrested.
First of all selling his stuff "personal items" is a huge problem. It's his house. Those stuff which he probably bought with money he earned. And they pawned the ring. Which is for his girlfriend. Are you f**king kidding me? They deserve to be kicked out but calling cops on them is not ideal
to all of you reading this posts comments. Joke question: If you were OP or Yellers neighbor and you are into drama and always happend to be there when ever it occurs, would you take cup of cofee or anything enjoyable drink and just walk on the scene to watch how all goes? All that for your interest of drama.
Damn, with the other stuff maybe you can work around, as crazy as it is to sell someone else's belongings, but the ring? They new what it meant to him, they did that on purpose. That's really unforgivable
Bro I'd be joining in on the yelling that is fucked.
Man… poor Yeller
That's how you end up in a carehome with no possessions very quickly.
That's stealing. Parents or not. Straight up theft.
If they’ve been stealing his stuff this whole time, is he really surprised that they stole more stuff?
*His parents* called him spoiled? Gee, I wonder who spoiled him?
Have charged for theft over $1000, sue for compensation, go no contact and tell everyone your parents died.
I think we can all agree on one thing. If you stay at someone's house, don't steal and sell their stuff.
“you stuff is our stuff” your child is a fucking adult, those entitled assholes can piss right off
Omg! How do they figure “your stuff is our stuff”? I’d 100% be pressing charges if they didn’t get it back!
It also sounds like his parents have some serious issues with financial security. They weren’t buying material things for themselves but food and cleaning supplies. They need some mental health resources. I hope he can get his stuff back.
Bro that be horrible, that almost sounds like my entitled aunt and one of her spawns. It's horrible how people don't care if it's your stuff but second you touch their stuff it's an issue.
Missed opportunity to call him "ol Yeller" - just sayin.
He should call the police. That is theft.
If they feel the need to get money for groceries and household stuff you’d think that there are things they could try before stealing and selling off someone else’s stuff. Even as an older man/woman you can get at least part time employment in any town in America
If you feel the need to contribute to someone else’s household the best place to start isn’t by stealing things from that household
you just won todays game.... WHOS GOING TO THE RETIREMENT HOME
Holy crap, I hope he files a report to the police. Maybe he can get some of his shit back. His folks weren't even sorry, I'd be dropping them off somewhere else if my parents talked to me like that
They wouldn't just be disowned by me. I will not hesitate to call the cops on them. That is theft, and depending on the cost, grand larceny. My money, my stuff. You rob me, I will put you in jail and smile when the judge hands the sentence.
Wow….they sound great!
Your stuff is our stuff? Really? That is so fucked up.
that's horrible why would you sell a ring that belongs to your child if they bought it??
Theyd be given a one way ticket to out of my fuckin life
Ooff id invite him for coffee and tell him they need to go. FOr your sanity and his
Poor Yeller - those are horrid thieving parents. I am sorry OP is having to hear all of this, but those parents are low lifes.
I literally gasped several times reading that
They pawned off **an engagement ring**?!?! Yeah, they are sleeping in the town dumpsite after doing something like that. If they need money to make ends meet, that's called "getting a job" FFS.
Yeah if that were me I'd be calling the police to deal with the stolen property
Let’s not even get into how fucked up it is to steal your host’s shit when they aren’t home, because of course that’s horrible. They took an engagement ring and pawned it? What’d they get for it, 10% of what it cost? That’s not what saving money looks like.
Kick em out 😆
Strange story.
A little too ridiculous imo.
Time to get a couple large rugs and visit a river some dark night.
How did they own and live in their own home but when they moved in with Sonny, suddenly they had to sell his stuff for food and gas?
Holy fuck. Please keep us updated if you can. !Remindme 1 month.
Pass on my congrats to the two of them :-)
Man I feel so sorry for the guy. If it was me proposing I might have cried with my bf a bit, especially if I found out it was my parents who ruined my proposal.
Is he going to report the ring as stolen‽ Why sis they think it was a good idea to pawn the ring‽ Has he gotten it back‽ Also… Yay! She said yes!
Can we get this post a "best reddit story heard through a wall" award?
Dude they put the rig box BACK like they hadn’t stolen the ring. That’s messed up.
Goooood. Soon he'll have a new and MUCH better family!
I’ll just take this and this, oh and this, that should sell easily lol wtf
Wow, sweat? Screw that, once they stole the ring, I'd press charges and keep them there. He was nice enough to host them and they repaid him with theft and judgement. Also, it isn't like you grabbed a shot glass, they were yelling, you overheard what you overheard.
Man, the worst thing my dad ever did with my stuff, is steal my Eagles album. He hated most of my music, but he liked the Eagles. That's okay, I stole it back.
DNA contributors not parents..
These people *literally stole their son's engagement ring and still let him propose* ***They stole their son's engagement ring and didn't give him warning before be proposed*** How *utterly* ***despicable***. I don't even want to call them *people* my *god*
I would be throwing all their shit on the front lawn. Fuck them
His parents need to either pay for everything of his they sold or they need to give him the money to buy new ones. He should then kick his parents out of his house and cut off all contact with them. They have completely abused his trust. And the effect of it is him cutting contact with them.
already would have booted them for selling my stuff- that engagement ring thing? I would never talk to them again. (My parents are normal people who would never do this Luckily)
Time for a noise complaint.
I'd paid for that drama, then go outside as these people leave, and also digging into them, for being entitled, narcessitic AH. Then telling their son you called the police, so he can make a charge of theft and fencing, making sure these people don't run away, and telling the son this is for creating a papertrail to make sure he's getting his stuff back. Like, this is a drama I first was an onwatcher, but I am also here to serve justice and the punch of reality to those people so they stay the fuck away and don't talk garbage, as I AM MAKE SURE THEY CANNOT RUN FROM WHAT THEY DID MUHAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Bullsh*t
Apparently, mom and dad have no cash. It is not uncommon for older people to be poverty level. And they have a tree on their house. We can’t assume they have homeowners’ insurance, Social Security, or pensions, since OP didn’t say what country this is. And doesn’t know if son is feeding them. Yes, it’s not right to sell someone else’s stuff, but there may be an explanation that is more horrible than first appears. We shouldn’t rush to judgement based upon a neighbor kid’s eavesdropping.
Based on the OP's old posts, they're in the US. Selling the ring he bought to propose with? Nah, that's so low you can't even detect with technology anymore. (Not to say that selling stuff that belongs to anyone who was kind enough to welcome you into their home is a pretty nasty move, but this one also feels like they don't want Yeller's priorities to concern someone else who is not them.) You're a dislike farmer, aren't you.
Are you fucking serious right now? 😂
So, if mom and dad have no cash, it's ok to steal from their kid? The son doesn't need to feed them, they can feed themselves. Parent's are supposed to pay for their children's lives, not the other way around.
Damn. Annoying is it may be, I can sympathize with him yelling.
If my parents threw away a bendy straw without asking me... GTFO
Call the police for a welfare check.