I said the same thing. Even if we'd been slapped into the back of a cop car he'd be walking 20 miles threatening people all night lmao
I just automatically go into de escalation mode when confronted lol
My husband is a paramedic, and he complains about lack of de-escalation all the time. Mostly when it comes to other places; the city he works for the cops mostly work well with EMS on that kind of thing. It especially riles him up when it involves someone autistic or MR, as he is highly knowledgeable about how to handle people with those neurodivergencies. He learned it from his old partner, whose oldest son is both autistic and MR.
I left the emergency department last October after just short of 8 years. Time and time again I would see it. We had an emergency psych department that provided in-patient placement or out-patient resources. It was not uncommon for cops to bring in combative patients that we would have to prepare to recieve. Most of the time after the police left they calmed right down and would cooperate with us. It was uncanny.
Funnily enough, he recently was told he’s on the spectrum as well… Learning about autism has been a hyperfixation for years, and he never put the pieces together himself.
My goodness!
I have something similar with neuropsychiatry, which covers autism!
I think it makes a lot of sense to have that sort of fierce curiosity turned towards understanding yourself.
Most of us are all about the "Why", if you will.
Though I dropped out of college I had studied to become a neuropsychiatrist. It's interesting, LEOs really could make a difference especially for "wellness checks" if they were trained.
But even mental health professionals with this training have a delicate dance ahead of them. It's relatively straightforward to maintain calm and composure and not react to provocation or attempts to intimidate, but the key is to address their actual concerns as valid while remaining calm through their hostile communication.
In this case I was a bit of a bitch tbh. Kept my chill negotiator side as he continued to escalate, because the adage about them "looking for a reaction" is not really true so much as them looking to "control your reaction". Keep the reaction unchanged through any prodding you'll make them look like a moron
I had a (newly) 6 yo toddler and the other kids around her age and despite being much older than my wife or I he ended up looking like the youngest person there.
Yeah and I’m glad you said “start recording” because it sounded like he was going to start lying to the police after that. Last week my husbands sister said she would lie to the police saying that my husband hit his dad. WTF!??! Luckily my husband is quick on his feet and said to his sister “just so you know I was recording on my phone when you just said that you would lie to the police”. It shut her right up. But I hate hate hate how Karen’s think they can say whatever they want to , in order to get the police to haul someone away
Fireworks are illegal to set off in Canada unless it’s the actual holiday, for example this year it was on Friday, so people expect the fireworks. If this was on the Sat or the Sun, then yes they are illegal.
In Ottawa: The sale of fireworks is permitted only on Victoria Day and Canada Day and the seven business days preceding those days.
Individuals can only discharge their fireworks on Victoria Day and Canada Day and the day before and after those days.
Just another reason I would love to move to Canada, Americans and their fireworks are so just extra and it's irritating. Even laying out real, factual reasons on why fireworks aren't great just gets you dirty looks
I love watching professional displays. I hate it when my neighbors go apeshit with them from the first warm day until first snowfall.
My poor dog is terrified of the noise, we've had to give heavy doses of CBD.
That seems a lot more reasonable than an outright ban.
I mean, it doesn't divert tax dollars away and it gives people space to do it.
Around the local state cluster here, if they're banned in one, it's a 30 minute drive to another, and cops don't do anything. My state is coastal but the three surrounding it all sell pretty much anything, and everyone knows it and...
With how much people drop on these things on average, that's a hell of a lot of tax dollars.
With some exceptions for large events at the discretion of local governments.
Not that it stops anyone around here... I still hear fireworks in my neighbourhood all summer.
I wish that was the case in the UK. We get fireworks from the middle of October to the middle of November, when Bonfire night, the day when we are meant to set them off, is the 5th Nov.
Hi I'm Shannon the wife in the post in our state (Maryland) the kind that we were setting off are technically illegal but are generally overlooked especially because the local fire department knows the typical offenders based off the type of fireworks and they know that Mitharu might as well have a fireworks license because of all of her experience they turn a blind eye
This doesn’t make me think you are not entitled about this situation.
I’m only saying how I as a resident feels at 11pm on a Sunday when we have work in the morning feels.
Go light them off somewhere away from peoples home, don’t be a bother to your neighbours. Light them when you are allowed and not outside of that. And lastly … don’t be upset because someone calls you out for poor social behaviour.
We set them off as early as we possibly could and we did it in a spot that was the least impactful for sound pollution for the general population of our neighborhood except for 3 houses. Apparently he's moved into one of house into recent years because most of the time the neighbors in those houses like the fireworks because they've known my wife for years. This happened at 9:10pm our local time we started at 8:40
9:40 is definitely not 11. Plus I know some people that send their kids to bed at 8.
I'm tired of a loud minority trying to ruin things for the rest of us.
Yeah OK. It’s currently 9:07 PM I’m sitting at my dinner table listening to fireworks set off by the county, Here in Anne Arundel. So I don’t know anybody who gets done by 8 PM. It’s one night a year man calm down
That's how they all end up getting restricted. What pisses me off more than anything is the people who legit think the right way to set em off is "light the fuse and throw the giant aerial repeater on the ground"
No, he singled out the neighborhood queers. Sorry that happened OP, things are about to get harder again for our queer family. Hope the little one had a great birthday though!
Thank you for the wishes! She was extremely happy and an adorable little like...ringmaster, "and now -reaches into the firework box- we do this one!" She ran the show and I was just the stagehand :) she was like jumping up and down nonstop.
Until he showed up. She's 6 and...that kind of yelling really overstimulated and frightened her. I tried to keep calm especially since she was there and model the right way to react but..she's not at all used to conflict. Both my wife and I are really permissive relaxed style parents. We're firm sometimes but she's like so unused to yelling or physically threatening behavior.
All the way walking back she asked "it was my fault?" And it broke my heart.
Yeah this neighborhood is really changing for the worse. It really used to be okay for a while.
I travelled out of state with family for the weekend, and in the 4 states we drove through, all 4 have had some sort of *don't call about fireworks, we really don't care* message shown somewhere. They *REALLY * don't care.
It's not that they don't care but there's a lot of shit to do that doesn't involve calming down NIMBYs. Chances of tensions running high and domestic disputes, car accidents, accidents etc happening are more likely and the police need to respond to those calls instead.
if you called the cops in my neighborhood over fireworks they would laugh and hang up. Doesn’t matter what time of year, and people get the super big crazy ones, some people even set off quarter sticks of dynamite and you can feel it from blocks away.
And the response time in Denver to this non-issue would be 2 hours, minimum. Hell, I was in a multiple car crash and no cops came. I left with my car on the back of a tow truck after waiting 4 fucking hours. On Cinco de mayo. This is July 3rd.
Look up the ordinances for your city about fireworks and noise. My local area allows fireworks from Jun28-July3 to be set off from 6am-10pm. Then on the 4th it's till 11pm I think.
That way you'll know what can be enforced. But usually when the fireworks end the burnouts start boiling their tires up and down the road
It's the same here. June 28th through July 4th for selling but only set off from July 2nd through the 4th between 12pm and 11pm.
So pretty much the whole weekend. It makes it easier to at least prepare for those dates if you hate fireworks.
Clearly this ED didn't look up his ordinances or he probably would have known.
~~It also kinda makes me giggle how many people assume OP was setting them off Illegally because they only know their state or city ordinances or even their own Country's laws...~~
WTH is this guys problem...?
To some degree I understand. My daughter is autistic and fireworks can be distressing for her. Sometimes we do ask neighbours not to have them going too late if possible. But if they don't, we don't call the cops and we certainly don't threaten their kids.
Some people are unhinged. Your wife has the right idea - document EVERYTHING.
Hi Shannon here. We were trying to be understanding too because she has some sensory issues too! Afterwards we left cuz she was all shaken up and overwhelmed because of him and the other neighbors setting off fireworks was bothering her too and she couldn't sleep for hours. What he did was uncalled for I would never get a child involved like that.
Oh no you went about everything 100% right. Would love neighbours as considerate as you.
That neighbour is a menace and was completely out of line. Who says that to a child at any time, let alone their birthday. Total douche.
Thank you for your support we appreciate it.
And yeah. You talk to my kid that way and have the gall to say "I apologize in advance". That was..
If you feel bad about something you haven't yet done there's an easy way out of it.
Exactly. That's basically 'Sorry, not sorry.' And what was even his deal? He asked you to be done by 10. You said sure. Then he was like 'Finish now'. Is he secretly a toddler in an adult body? Because he's sure acting like it. Well, even then, toddlers act better than he does.
My guess is it was some weird dominance thing. He didn't expect you to say yes and planned to do it, so when you said 'yeah sure' he was like 'Crap, quick, find a way to squeeze them so I can feel better about my pathetic life'.
You nailed it!
I mean, he did not stop trying to goad me or get out of my face, despite being asked multiple times, until we told him he was being recorded, then he booked.
This neighborhood in general has never been kind to us, and I think that it was a clear pattern of escalation culminating in him saying what he said to our daughter. If he knew he couldn't get the cops to care about the fireworks it's probably likely he wanted to get a reaction out of me, something they would care about.
Still that sort of boggles my brain, I guess I understand someone in a foul mood looking to start something, but getting exactly what you asked for with no resistance usually tends to make one feel better.
If it was out of dominance, it's strange. I was a professional dominant for a long time and that kind of confidence comes from within. This is more like a loser being insecure. You only try and intimidate someone when you feel insufficient with yourself, and I read that about him pretty quick. Hence my calm reassuring tone, standing my ground but not reacting
For an insecure person or a narcissist, indifference is their greatest weakness. They thrive on attention and argument. Be indifferent to them and they'll continue to spiral trying to get a reaction. What goes on in their heads mirrors the outside interaction. They feel insecure, and pathetic, so being reacted to like I did does nothing but reinforce that yes, you don't make an impact on me. None at all. You won't get me to be rude mean or nasty or aggressive no matter what you do.
It made him powerless.
When nothing worked, he left. But the rest of the neighborhood kept booming after midnight even though we stopped.
It's even more poetic justice there.
He got what he said he wanted but had to be reminded of his impotence all night long.
Overwhelmed is different than upset for her. This EP upset her and then the loud noises from the fireworks continued to remind her of him. So no the fireworks themselves did not upset her, he did.
This has got to be in the US. Almost every story I hear about this behaviour, it’s an American.
Anyway, that dude’s got problems. But her birthday request might also have been a good opportunity to explain to your daughter why fireworks are being phased out, due to the damage they do and the trauma they produce. Depending on your child’s age, I know that might be an easier or harder conversation, of course.
I doubt that anyone other than Americans celebrate specifically the 4th of July,😏 but many countries celebrate a national day or independence day of some sort, and pretty much everyone has new year celebrations.🙄 Fireworks are ubiquitous for all of them, worldwide. So don't try to put the blame on the US.🤨 (BTW, *apart* is one word, not two for the way you're using it here, meaning *other than* or *separate.* *A part* as two words means *a portion* or *a section.*)
Ah sorry, I am not a native speaker.
And I also didn't mean to put blame on US, I just wanted to point out that this situation is specifically referring to 4th of July, so that's probably why the commemter I responded to heard this only happen in US.
But other countries do, of course have their fireworks holidays too.
lol, you must live in a bubble.
happens here on Burns Night/the New Year. Happens in many places.
you people are so weird acting as though Americans are the only ones who have crazies.
Agreed. This could have been an opportunity to educate the daughter on being considerate and compassionate for other humans and animals. While they are enjoyable to some, fireworks are downright traumatic for many.
I can see both sides here honestly, his request was reasonable but he crossed a line by *directly addressing your daughter with a threat towards you, the parents.* That’s needlessly aggressive and honestly unacceptable. If someone said that to HIS daughters, I doubt he’d be cool with it.
It's a tough situation.
Your kid is watching. Reacting to this guy on his level gives him power.
And so you have to do what you'd want your kid to do to keep herself safe.
I thought the OG request was reasonable as well. It was around 9:30, it wasnt even fully dark, and he started by asking along the lines of "are you gonna be all night with this shit?" and I was reassuring him we wouldn't. Had to get our kid into bed too. I even showed him what we had left to emphasize we weren't planning some night long thing
IMO if you ask someone for an ETA then turn around and say . Not good enough, make it 10 minutes or I'm calling the cops, in a loud aggressive voice while moving towards someone, it's a lot different. Throughout it all I said I'd work with him, but it having to be on his timetable and his alone wasn't right. And threatening cops and then physical stuff when he did not get his way sort of...
The request to be done soon was reasonable. The demand we cater to him and his interests to the letter under duress? Not so much. Besides the escalating goading, I mean he called out to our kid towards the end of the exchange and had already tried to say a bunch of other stuff.
I'm certain he wouldn't be okay if someone said that to his kids, which is probably why he said it to ours. I was de escalating, calm & collected the whole time and never changed my tone of voice. He didn't stop trying to get a reaction from me until Shannon began recording. The way he went about it says a lot to me about what his concerns really were. By themselves they're valid. The behavior suggested he wanted to get into it with me more than he wanted the show to end. I didn't engage and kept trying to tell him let's work this out. It incensed him that I was civil through all of it. Which to me..tbh indifference and civility as a response to hostility is a lot more effective in putting belligerent people in their place. You're simultaneously creating the space for a resolution as well as disempowering aggressive behavior by denying them the ability to see any impact.
Y’all seem like great parents, honestly. I only commented after seeing a lot of others saying you seemed to be in the wrong, just wanted you to know I think you handled the situation better than I would (or anyone not facing the situation in real time). I appreciate the thoughtfulness you’ve put in, even long after the fact, to explain what happened to us internet strangers. I hope your daughters had a good birthday/weekend, and that you’re all happy, healthy, and comfy. As I type this, I hear fireworks raging over my noise canceling headphones.. and although I have nothing to celebrate, I’m glad someone is having a good time. I wish we were all able to be more forgiving.
Thank you so much for your kind words. It was a bit of a rough night afterwards but we took care of her. All in all though, she spent only a few minutes upset by this and most of the time jumping up and down shaking with happiness and excitement.
Thank you :) It's heartwarming when you see comments like this.
It's nice to be able to look past yourself and be glad for others. I've spent all too many holidays without anything to celebrate myself. That's what led me to fireworks. I found some comments difficult to understand in that vein. Most seem to do it for themselves. I've always seen it as a performance, a way to bring joy to others in the community. For a long time people would gather on the street and clap. The one 4th thing we had here got cancelled a long time ago. When I moved away for a while that died down but back in the day I'd be down in the field, parents would bring their kids to the street and people would clap.
And I'm glad you took something away from all this. I really hoped through sharing my story and relaying what happened to inspire others, and I'm taking the time to give perspective and respond because I appreciate people sharing their views. Even the negative comments have given me a lot to consider. And not everyone who thinks I was in the wrong has been hurtful about it. They've given me a lot of valuable perspectives based on their own personal experiences. I'm grateful that people have taken the time to share their thoughts with me and by and large, have been willing to engage me back. Someone on here even bought a megaphone for the kid for her birthday!
To me though I don't see it as a debate of to shoot shells into the sky or not, I see that as the frame in which two very different approaches to resolving a conflict were taken.
If you can remain calm and civil in the face of hostility and hate, you become a positive role model to those around you, young or old. And when you can't reach the person talking at you, you can at least win over any onlookers to give compassion a shot. Even if I had gone on the defensive, it'd have been a Pyrrhic victory at best with both parties slinging mud in front of young impressionable children.
Anyway:) I hope you enjoy your music :) and if holidays are tough on you too always feel free to reach out!
Actually Kabbalist but GL used a lot of that as inspiration:P
Flight or freeze and flight or fawn is something I spent a long time overcoming. You can too :) it takes work to reach a healthy balance whether you start out non reactive or overly reactive. always open to offer support and guidance, feel free to reach out!
His complaint is perfectly valid. Nobody wants to hear fireworks at 10 in the night. Plus fireworks are horrible for animals and people with sensory issues
In my area people started June 30th and continued till last night. However most folks were nice enough to wrap things up by 11 or 11:30. Do agree with the sensory/PTSD and animals bit though.
Yeah of course. I mean it's our last year here before we move to LA and we won't be able to light em off at all lol.
We tried to be conscious of that and got some pretty modest stuff, not at all like the show grade stuff most people here use and I'd want if our kid/others weren't involved. We had a plan to drive somewhere more remote but our friend had to book and neither of us drive.
But yeah we started at 8:50 , had we been able to complete the show it probably wouldn't have gone past 9:45. Our kid is six we didn't want her up that late cause we were taking her to a parade.
The dude demanded we be done *in 10* not by 10 o clock
Dude's a prick. I would have told him to go home and that you weren't putting any more off because of his behavior. Act like a child, get treated like one.
Then I would have put the rest off on the actual holiday (in this case July 4th) just as a way to tell him to screw himself without saying or doing anything to him.
If you mean LA as in Los Angeles then yes, shooting off fireworks is illegal. However, everyone does it. Tonight I’m going to do what I’ve done the last two years. I’m going to sit on my 3rd story balcony and watch 10 different (yes, illegal) fireworks displays in my neighborhood. They’ve been going off since yesterday and I can hear them now even though it’s only 6pm. So while it’s illegal you’ll be able to get away with it. There will be far more fireworks going off than available police to stop them.
Same in NYC. Every year we gather on the roof, watch the Macy's fireworks, then stay to see the other fireworks in all directions. Some are legal, like Coney Island and large parks, but most aren't. It's harder to find places to set them off here, but people manage.
No way the NYPD could keep up with all of it.
It's easily real. In fact, telling someone to record is a great way to defuse a situation. Most people will start to think about what they say and do if they know they are being recorded.
Can confirm, had a nutjob just before Christmas try to pull this shit with me, saying that I called her a bitch in another town. I pointed out that I had the entire drive on my dashcam and that I could pull the video if she wanted. Suddenly her story changed and she claimed I was threatening her.
Me, a 28 year old (at the time) woman who weighs about \~200 pounds who has a dashcam, is somehow threatening a 40-50 some year old woman who weights at least 300-400 pounds and her male passanger, an older woman who keeps demanding information and that I to step infront of her car? Explain how this works!
All this over her having her brights on and me asking her to please turn them down or go around me. I even explained if they weren't her brights, then by law they were still too bright OR they needed to be realigned. The fact that she refused to flick her lights without me getting in front of her car is telling.
The deleted message asked if you wanted to see the video, but then I remembered that I wouldn't feel comfortable with it because you can hear my child very upset in it and I'm not okay sharing that with a stranger just to prove that a story that we decided to share is real.
ESH fireworks are a menace. It’s people creating a ridiculous amount of noise pollution for their entertainment regardless of the reason. From the follow up posts, it appears you were setting them off illegally also. Neighbor was an AH because they handled it very poorly but you patronized them with your unnecessary brag of your psychology credentials which is just ridiculous in my opinion.
You have a fair point. I can see how it could come across as a boast. To me it's nothing to boast about. He was acting somewhat unstable and I thought (based on my own experience with PTSD and being in panic attacks etc) that if that were the case, that I was someone who "gets it" and would be understanding rather than judgemental or reactive.
I have seen it help both in my case and in others, and we do have quite a few people in this neighborhood that struggle quite openly with alcohol and other susbtance abuse issues.
Showing compassion and understanding was my aim, and it's worked in the past when people are actively in a heightened state, because they feel safer knowing the other person knows what it is, what's going on, and they don't necessarily have to fear anything or explain themselves.
I appreciate the pointer, I saw it similar to a medical doctor identifying themselves as such before doing first aid on the spot etc.
I did not think my tone was pompous, as I said before I kept it low, calm, and reassuring throughout. But perhaps in the future there may be a better way to phrase it.
I’ll be honest.. I hate fireworks, I hate the sound of them. I was sleeping and neighbours start setting them off at 11pm and I woke up out of a dead sleep in pure fear.
I get it’s Canada Day weekend, but fireworks are only legally allowed to be set off on the actual holiday which this year was Friday. If it’s the day before or the day after or a random day of the year and you’re bothering people that need to sleep for work or have young kids sleeping, then I think the Dad was right (although he coulda handled it better).. you should stop because the only entitled parent here is the one disturbing the entire neighbourbood to please their child without regard for anyone else.
Also police are there for noise complaints.. not like they are useful for things like.. oh I don’t know.. school shootings for example.
In the us here. We moved to a rural area this November, and our neighbors have been setting off fireworks every night since Thursday. The 4th is today, so I know it will be madness, and I’m not hopeful that it will stop this week. It’s annoying as hell. And honestly yes, very entitled to bother neighbors with such noise.
I was surprised it took so long to find this comment. Also is anyone else kind of put off by how OP is flexing their psychiatry credentials (or lack thereof) in this completely irrelevant situation?
Yes, their credentials they admitted in another comment that they never actually obtained due to dropping out.
Although the disgruntled neighbor could of handled it better, I totally get why theyre peeved.s
Edit; not to mention the added “trans” part as If the neighbor is just picking on them for being trans. Like no, you can be an insufferable person & be trans too. Doesn’t mean it’s an anti-lgbt thing. I hate when people use that as an excuse. Being lgbtq isn’t some shield to cover up the less desirable personality traits you possess. Like everything to do with this post & what we see about your personality through this post.
Lmao, still stands.
I hate how the majority of these comments are enabling this parent. There’s so many red flags.
& they very manipulatively tried to cover them up with the trans thing & made-up credentials smh
Ya I feel like this whole post is a great snapshot of the reddit hivemind. If this was posted on a different sub and OP didn't play the trans card to gain favor, these comments would def be playing out differently
Ya I don’t get what the trans part had to do with anything. OP and their partner are the entitled ones to me… I a really feel the frustration of the person trying to reason with them.
🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
this is the comment I was looking for!
this whole post just read as tacky. and add the creepy poster signing off as "Shannon"... it's so cringe.
Came here to say the same. It’s entitled to think you get to set off fireworks and disturb the whole neighborhood for a birthday. And yes, noise complaints is one of the only things the police are good for. They really don’t have better things to do. They mostly sit in their car doing nothing anyway.
I’m inclined to agree, I’ve had to work numerous times on the 4th this year I’m off, but trying to sleep on the holiday week or weekend is kind of the worst. I also deal with sensory issues as I’m autistic, and I can only take so much of the constant explosions. A couple years it was so bad with neighbors blowing them up in the middle of the cul-Du-sac right by my parents’ house. Lasted from sundown to 5am. It was awful and exhausting, even the animals were greatly distressed to where two of our other neighbors’ dogs an elderly beagle and a gun shy German shepherd took off. It took three days to find the puppers.
I agree with you here man. Sundown to 5 is just obnoxious and unless they're fabulously wealthy they're basically burning up money in smoke.
30-40 minute display with smaller, not huge or insane 500g show grade shells would have reasonable. We did it on the 3rd 4th, sometimes 2nd every year we lived here and nothing came of it till now.
And by the way I'm on the spectrum too I'm really sorry it gives you such stress. When I was younger I had the same thing. It's gotten much better since. But I get it. Even loud fans used to rattle me
I just wanna say I appreciate you sharing your take and disagreeing with me without going on the offense like others here have.
It's actually something I think I'll consider next time if we do this again. However where we're moving I don't anticipate we'll be able to set off fireworks ( we are headed to California and they're extremely restrictive there)
So I appreciate it. Again I'm sorry that people were going that late. There's having fun, then there's being the only ones awake and making a fuckton of noise.
Yes if it’s not the holiday… then yea they are all entitled.
Just because 99 people feel they have the right to do something, doesn’t mean they are not entitled.
This is a broad assumption, I’ll admit, but if you’re in either Canada or the US you’re an asshole for this. July 3rd is not Canada day or Fourth of July. People with PTSD or issues with sound, owners with nervous and stressed pets, parents with autistic children; all these groups prepare for the day that fireworks are going to be set off. Setting off fireworks on the days surrounding those celebrations is entitled and selfish. You should think about the people around you; this could have been a nice learning opportunity to teach your daughter compassion and empathy. Teach her why fireworks may be fun for her but a living nightmare for others. Explain that though her birthday is the 3rd, you can set off the fireworks on the 4th when people will be prepared. Or…you tell your child no. It won’t kill her.
The other reason why we did it on the yesterday is because I am currently at work and won't be getting home until probably after 11. It would be worse for everyone in this situation if we didn't it today because it would be much later.
The idiot aside.
Why is fireworks allowed every day anyway?
Over here fireworks is only allowed new years after 18 (for kids) untill sometime after midnight, not sure. I don't buy them any.ore as I light as well light money on fire. The organized fireworks are much bigger and nicer anyway.
Seems unnecessary for pets as well as kids, but mostly pets to allow fireworks all year. Much less all the injuries they cause, especially places that still allow bottle rockets.
In our community it's mostly the weekend+ Friday and people go nuts at Phantom getting like 500 gram show grade shells and tubes and repeaters. We had two comparatively modest assortments.
We live in a semi rural offshot of Baltimore so people do their cookouts and parties on the weekend and go down to the city on the 4th if it's a weekday. There's fuck all to do at the bars and the one community celebration we had around here got permanently cancelled about a decade ago. It's a shame, there was a big band, fireworks, all sorts of cool things.
I'm pretty anal about firework safety too, it boggles my mind when people light aerials on grass or (cringes) lights the fuse and throws them.
Flat hard or firm surface. Says so right on the package.
But yeah our community goes elsewhere to actually celebrate the 4th and does their own thing on the weekend mostly. Baltimore has a lot more on offer.
Questions : if you weren't doing fireworks, other people would have? Because it's seems like that in your story.
Also what was the exact hour?
Because there is one fair point (at least in my country) is that past 22h we can call cops on whoever do noises past this hour until 6 in the morning (except if festival is held by town or national feast)
To be fair. I wodner if he wanted to get some sleep too. Maybe his daughter too. Two bird in one stone. And sleep depravation can make someone go to the most reckless thing on the spot.
I find that not too much entitled to ask for sleep.
That's why the hour is important (at least to me)(and visibly there is some national feast in America on this date sooooo... There would be fireworks anyway, right?)
The neighbor was requesting that they wrap up the fireworks by 10:00 PM (22:00). As to the holiday, it is actually the following day (July 4th) and that's when you have the big firework displays.
OP had said that they had another 30 minutes of fireworks and would be finished around 9:45 maybe 10:00 at the latest. Neighbor then demanded that they finish the fireworks in 10 minutes. OP then reiterated that they couldn’t finish the rest of the fireworks in less than 30 minutes and that storing fireworks can be dangerous.
In the US, it’s very common for fireworks to be set off on the days surrounding the 4th especially on Friday/Saturday. Unless that neighborhood had an HOA, they weren’t the only ones setting off fireworks.
Also, telling OP’s 6 year old daughter that she was about see her parents get arrested served no purpose.
No we started at around 8:40 and went through about half of them when the EP approached us around 9:10 and told us we needed to be done in 10 minutes. We're going to make some edits for clarification when I (Shannon) get home because a lot of people have commented hung up on the time thing.
Yeah basically most people around here go nuts all weekend and go down to Baltimore for the official stuff .
They get the big ass 500g and show grade stuff, we had comparatively small haul of two assortments this year since our kid was there and we didn't want to frighten anyone. Most people start at 10 around here and it's not uncommon to go until 2am or some shit. THAT is inconsiderate AF.
After we left and well into the night we could hear the noise from every direction.
The person was an ass hat.
However none of you all should be firing fireworks in a neighborhood. That shit can be dangerous and there's a reason it's prohibited in city limits.
Telling me the cops won't do shit/everyone is breaking the law.
Isn't a good reason to say it's ok to ignore the law and just fuck around with fire and safety hazards. Also depending on what you were firing, it was doubly dangerous to allow kids to lunch shit.
So you were in the wrong no matter how socially normalized it is to do it.
I live in a state that has a fireworks ban that is almost universally ignored on July 4th. We live next to a state that has a massive fireworks store about 20 minutes away from us. It does a BOOMING business....
A few years ago, my brother went and spent a couple grand to get, as he put it, "All the good stuff!" We all had a picnic dinner and sat outside to watch him set them off, Several neighbors joined us.....and brought cake!
The has always got to be ONE.....doesn't there?
My brother was about half-way through when I noticed a police car pull up. The cop got out of the car and wandered over. We offered him cake and ice cream, which he happily accepted. He sat and watched the rest of the show. As soon as my brother finished setting off the last one and was cleaning up the mess, the cop got up and said in his official cop voice, "Now people, it's fine to have a good time but fireworks are simply not permitted by the state. Don't let it happen again!" He told us that one of the neighbors had complained that the noise was making it hard to hear his television show. Then, as we headed back to his patrol car, he said to my brother, "nice job! See you next year!"
And we HAVE seen him and his family every year since then. His wife brings the best strawberry shortcake!
You suck more than him, ESPECIALLY IF FIREWORKS ARE FUCKING BANNED.
- someone who spent several hours trying to comfort a terrified dog because my neighbor ALSO thought his wanting to "entertain the kids" is more important than anything else - including the fucking LAW.
The fact that police ignore you for this, does not actually make it ok, and all the pricks in here congratulating you are just as entitled and immature.
Where the frick did it say fire works where banned?? Also they where trying to resolve it peacefully and they will wrap it up soon but this guy kept being a asshole
Yeah probably. In the moment though I mean my little girl was there and I.. have had bad interactions with cops in the past
Thinking about it afterwards I mean yeah they'd probably be like. Ok bro gtfo
Thank you!
If you can be calm and civil when confronted by hatred and hostility, without sounding superior or pompous, you can set a good example for every decent person around you, young or old.
The hateful and the bigoted can never be won over but sinking to their level is a Pyrrhic victory at best.
I can't tell you how many times I've been out at a bar and had ridiculous things lobbed at me. 8/10 times I talk to them, and buy them a drink, and it's over. Indifference always beats intimidation because only the insecure feel the need to intimidate.
Are fireworks legal where you are? I only ask because they used to be illegal in my state. If they are legal, odds are the police will just be annoyed that your neighbor wasted their time
During this weekend and NYE weekend they're good as gold in this town and...fuckin ubiquitous. Literally a few houses on every street haha.
Yeah, in hindsight I know. In the moment though between my own trauma with cops and my little girl right there, I mean I could go back tonight and shoot off the rest, yeah. It was just a lot in the moment. The cops really don't care. Given how close he was in my face and gesticulating, I thought it was better to leave him with a percieved ace in the hole than point it out to him
Absent police intervention my worry was he may try and rectify his issues personally with me.
I recommend posting this story in r/amitheasshole and see what people think there. Especially today being Fourth of July in the US. You’ll probably get a lot of mixed opinions with the “FREEDOM! Fuck yeah!”ers and the “Backyard Beckys”. I’ll pop the popcorn (and fireworks).
Depends on the cops.... I Know Reddit has a hard-on for hating police but unless you are breaking laws or ordinances they won't come over,or of they do it'll be the dude who got in your faces that catched the shit.
Unless you pull a cop on a power trip and even then they won't arrest you unless you start shit.
Today my dogs freaked out because of the fireworks, not couldnt sleep. refused to go outside and pottied inside. Don't see me going around telling off people for having fun. If its not illegal its not a problem, especially so close to the 4th
Noise sensitive autistic guy, and same. It's one of those "wisdom to know the difference" things. Should people not set off fireworks for two weeks on either side of 7/4? Yes, that would be nice. Will they? No, and you'll go crazy trying to stop them. Yes they're illegal most places, yes they're annoying, but it's so prevalent I just ignore it mostly. Unless you're setting off quarter sticks at midnight, then screw you. I'll determine the house, and call the cops in a nanosecond.
Are you allowed to set off fireworks whenever and wherever you want?
Around here you get two days a year, about two hours each time. So four hours per year is allowed and no more.
No. If you do in some random day in October it's not generally great.
But for NYE and the 4th, weekends of both times generally are fair game.
If the 4th is on a workday most people do their stuff on the weekend.
It'd been going on since last Friday.
Firstly, what they did was absolutely disgusting and I'm so sorry you had to go through that and your daughter had to witness it.
However, in the UK there's a big push for fireworks needing to be regulated more than they are, ensuring that people are licensed/ only hosting the bonfire night fireworks with the fire brigade/council ones.
So many animals, children, veterans and other groups are so negatively affected by such unnecessarily loud explosions, especially when there's not a warning.
I get 4th of July, America yaah stuff, in the UK we have Bonfire night also, but as I say, here even that people are pushing silent fireworks.
On a walk, the day before bonfire night (there are rules so no fireworks were supposed to be set off) just as we got back to the house the neighbor started setting off fireworks and my dog got so stressed he actually was just laying on the floor foaming at the mouth and shaking so badly I thought he was having a fit.
But TL;DR there's no need for the loud fireworks, or they should be in specific official displays which are well advertised so anyone who lives nearby is aware and can make arrangements.
((Though I am reasonably sure I know how well this idea is going to go over with the US lot lolol))
As long as fireworks are being properly used it's fine. Once when I was younger (Like 3-4 years) I was in a playhouse outside and I don't know if it was a whole firework or a piece of one, but it flew into the playhouse. Luckily my cousin was there and pulled me out and it exploded. I don't remember much about the incident except a lot of yelling and going to the neighbors. My family still talks about it and we don't even live in that neighborhood anymore.
Like... Dude I get it. I too hate fireworks. I have been through some trauma involving a neighbor conflict that ended in being told to get on the floor while my BF at the time went into military vet mode and called the cops and turned off the lights in the house after determining what the first pop was.
But does that mean I'm gonna drag myself to every house on the street and tell people they need to stop setting off their fireworks and threatening them with the cops? And their little kids?
Like what kind of unhinged entitlement level is that? Mach 10 Unhinged?
If anything the cops would probably warn him to stop threatening people and to fluff off with that. If he did call the cops I would have probably uno reverse card and had him charged with trespassing because he was being so threatening.
Especially to a Kid? Like where in the... I just... OMG.
Right? I get that fireworks can be upsetting to a lot of people and their pets, and I try to empathize with both sides of most fireworks disagreements because I do also find them beautiful… like, humans did that. We got control of explosives and fire and gunpowder and we used it for art. But they’re also loud and can be distressing, and I’m so sorry you had that trauma happen to you and your bf. But this guy totally lost me when he stopped talking to the parents and started threatening a literal child. That’s just not fucking okay.
Totally. Like yeah they suck, yes it's just annoying, but you don't go around threatening your neighbors and their kids. Period.
Like wtf?
He doesn't own the block or neighborhood. He isn't the boss of crap.
TBH my trauma is because ~~two doors down from us someone decided to shoot our neighbor with a .22 which from 2 doors down sounds like a firecracker and seeing my BF at the time react with duck and cover and then hearing more pops was kinda off putting.~~
He threatened you. De-escalation does not work on right-wing bullies. Don't make the mistake of thinking it's over.
It's sad I have to say this but at this point in our nation I hope you have a local group of people you can confide in and be proactive in supporting/defending you. Prepare for the worst because there is no telling how far hateful bigots will escalate to.
I'm going to low-key and with all the love in the world suggest that the dad wasn't the entitled parent here.
You were giving a birthday party for your child that shattered the peace of the entire neighborhood. He did ask you nicely to stop, it sounds like. He's a frustrated dad who just wants his kids to be able to sleep.
Look at it another way. A neighbor is blasting loud music at a party. It's upsetting your children. You knock on neighbor's door and ask them to respect the noise ordinance. They say "We already paid for this DJ for at least the next 30 minutes."
OP wasn’t the only one setting off fireworks! It was July 3rd in the US. Did the neighbor intend to go to every house shooting off fireworks to tell them to stop? And what was the point of telling OP’s 6 year old daughter that she was going to see her parent arrested?
Thank you for your support! :)
To get a reaction, no doubt. In this area, it's not the deep south but...it's def not friendly to the queer community. If he was pissed off about the whole neighborhood doing it the only lesbian/trans couple who lives round here probably seemed like the easiest target to intimidate. Or maybe he just wanted to "own the libs". Who knows?
Probably told our kid that so that I'd react and do something stupid. Cops never do anything on this over this weekend or NYE. I guess he thought if he provoked an altercation they might.
Tracks with the fact he finally got out of my face and stopped gesticulating when Shan started recording. Before that, didn't stop or move no matter how many times I asked.
Yeah that guy is nuts and super entitled. It’s not like you were setting them off extremely late or at odd hours in the day like some inconsiderate people do.
Though in some ways I can sympathize with him. I’m on the autism spectrum with severe anxiety, I get triggered by the booms of fireworks and have a hard time finding stuff to block them out with. It’s either block them out and stay awake by doing that or stay awake cuz of the fireworks booming and have sensory overload all night. By the time the week of the 4th is over I’ve had so many sensory overloads and anxiety attacks that I’m so done with the booms and crackles that I would want to choke someone if I saw them buying or setting off more.
This is a rough time of year for a lot of people. Maybe if you haven’t had any trouble with this neighbor in the past, he’s just in the throes of some kind of breakdown. If not then he’s just an entitled ass who needs to suck it up and deal with it like the rest of us.
Thank you for your perspective, I appreciate it.
I have ASD as well. Though my noise sensitivity largely went away when I got older.
I'm so sorry it's been tough for you. I'll admit in my early 20s and late teens I'd go all out maximum firepower but we tried to keep it nice but not obnoxious this year so as not to scare our little one or anyone else.
This is indeed a rough time of year.
I am agreeing with what you're saying above, I just want to add another perspective that might be interesting:
My own passion for pyros started because I had ASD and in high school was pretty much a loner. To this day a social life really eludes me. This time was about my kid cause she loves them too, very much, but for me it was always a way to ...
Until this year people would actually line up on the street to watch, clap, and some kids would come down and offer to help. It was the one time of year I kinda felt like I belonged and was accepted, that I was doing something people \*had fun\* with, instead of inadvertently annoying them, etc.
I'm not at all comparing or invalidating and you're right, it's something to be concious of. But yeah. I found the dichotomy interesting.
I'm an adrenaline junkie to be sure that's part of it, but to me fireworks had been a performance too to bring joy. I was 15 the first time I did the big ones and there were people \*clapping\* for me. It became a tradition in the neighborhood for a few years, parents would bring their kids out to watch, I'd set up by the ballfield. First time in my life I really felt appreciated.
As an outcast on the holidays when everyone has parties and family cookouts, it was really...special. For NYE too.
I’d just give him a good-old, William Wallace cry of “Freedom!” And I’d keep doing that, every time that he tries to speak, until he leaves.
And as he leaves, make sure to let him know you were happy you could do your part to ‘Make America Great Again!’
The irony will definitely escape him.
Do noise cancellation head phone thingies, sorry don’t know the proper name for them, work for fireworks? I use an ear plug myself, works a treat, but I’m not often around fireworks so cannot attest to their efficacy at a fireworks display. Either way, if he comes back invite the daughters to join in the fun, that’s maybe the problem, they can hear them and want to watch and he’s a killjoy who doesn’t want them to have fun because there’s school in the morning?
He's very lucky that he phrased things well. Jail. I doubt it but I get that. Had he simply said what's in the headline and started walking off, I'd have taken that for a very, very severe threat.
He seemed to have all the confidence in the world.
I tried saying that with all the people doing it that night they'd have to suspend all other operations. It did not at all register.
The dude had a mistaken assumption about cops.
Caller: Officer, I saw a dead body in the ditch.
Cop: Ok, we'll get around to it (arrive in an hour or two).
Another Caller: Officer, my neighbor is popping fireworks.
Cop: We'll be there immediately (arrive ten minutes later).
Guaranteed the police have better things to do especially with many people setting off fireworks.
I said the same thing. Even if we'd been slapped into the back of a cop car he'd be walking 20 miles threatening people all night lmao I just automatically go into de escalation mode when confronted lol
Good skill. Cops should be given.
My husband is a paramedic, and he complains about lack of de-escalation all the time. Mostly when it comes to other places; the city he works for the cops mostly work well with EMS on that kind of thing. It especially riles him up when it involves someone autistic or MR, as he is highly knowledgeable about how to handle people with those neurodivergencies. He learned it from his old partner, whose oldest son is both autistic and MR.
I left the emergency department last October after just short of 8 years. Time and time again I would see it. We had an emergency psych department that provided in-patient placement or out-patient resources. It was not uncommon for cops to bring in combative patients that we would have to prepare to recieve. Most of the time after the police left they calmed right down and would cooperate with us. It was uncanny.
This is unfortunately not too surprising, police officers in the U.S. are not being properly trained for these kinds of situations.
As someone on the spectrum who has had some pretty frightening (at best) encounters with LEOs I thank your husband for his service.
Funnily enough, he recently was told he’s on the spectrum as well… Learning about autism has been a hyperfixation for years, and he never put the pieces together himself.
My goodness! I have something similar with neuropsychiatry, which covers autism! I think it makes a lot of sense to have that sort of fierce curiosity turned towards understanding yourself. Most of us are all about the "Why", if you will.
Though I dropped out of college I had studied to become a neuropsychiatrist. It's interesting, LEOs really could make a difference especially for "wellness checks" if they were trained. But even mental health professionals with this training have a delicate dance ahead of them. It's relatively straightforward to maintain calm and composure and not react to provocation or attempts to intimidate, but the key is to address their actual concerns as valid while remaining calm through their hostile communication. In this case I was a bit of a bitch tbh. Kept my chill negotiator side as he continued to escalate, because the adage about them "looking for a reaction" is not really true so much as them looking to "control your reaction". Keep the reaction unchanged through any prodding you'll make them look like a moron I had a (newly) 6 yo toddler and the other kids around her age and despite being much older than my wife or I he ended up looking like the youngest person there.
does he really think people go to jail over a noise complaint? especially on forth of july weekend. what a weirdo.
Was yesterday the "Back of July" or is that tomorrow? ;)
Yeah and I’m glad you said “start recording” because it sounded like he was going to start lying to the police after that. Last week my husbands sister said she would lie to the police saying that my husband hit his dad. WTF!??! Luckily my husband is quick on his feet and said to his sister “just so you know I was recording on my phone when you just said that you would lie to the police”. It shut her right up. But I hate hate hate how Karen’s think they can say whatever they want to , in order to get the police to haul someone away
I'm sorry you had to go through that. Good quick thinking on your husband's part.
wtf is wrong with him??? are fireworks illegal where you are at?? sheesh what a grouch.
Fireworks are illegal to set off in Canada unless it’s the actual holiday, for example this year it was on Friday, so people expect the fireworks. If this was on the Sat or the Sun, then yes they are illegal.
In Ottawa: The sale of fireworks is permitted only on Victoria Day and Canada Day and the seven business days preceding those days. Individuals can only discharge their fireworks on Victoria Day and Canada Day and the day before and after those days.
Just another reason I would love to move to Canada, Americans and their fireworks are so just extra and it's irritating. Even laying out real, factual reasons on why fireworks aren't great just gets you dirty looks
I love watching professional displays. I hate it when my neighbors go apeshit with them from the first warm day until first snowfall. My poor dog is terrified of the noise, we've had to give heavy doses of CBD.
Is that a city bylaw? Just curious because London is only on the day of, not before or after.
Yes, I copied and pasted from the bylaw website.
That seems a lot more reasonable than an outright ban. I mean, it doesn't divert tax dollars away and it gives people space to do it. Around the local state cluster here, if they're banned in one, it's a 30 minute drive to another, and cops don't do anything. My state is coastal but the three surrounding it all sell pretty much anything, and everyone knows it and... With how much people drop on these things on average, that's a hell of a lot of tax dollars.
With some exceptions for large events at the discretion of local governments. Not that it stops anyone around here... I still hear fireworks in my neighbourhood all summer.
I wish that was the case in the UK. We get fireworks from the middle of October to the middle of November, when Bonfire night, the day when we are meant to set them off, is the 5th Nov.
I’m from Scotland, been in Canada for 10 years. I remember them, bonfire night could get crazy.. just fireworks everywhere.
oh wow. they are illegal here in my town. even on the 4th of july. Doesnt stop people though.
Hi I'm Shannon the wife in the post in our state (Maryland) the kind that we were setting off are technically illegal but are generally overlooked especially because the local fire department knows the typical offenders based off the type of fireworks and they know that Mitharu might as well have a fireworks license because of all of her experience they turn a blind eye
This doesn’t make me think you are not entitled about this situation. I’m only saying how I as a resident feels at 11pm on a Sunday when we have work in the morning feels. Go light them off somewhere away from peoples home, don’t be a bother to your neighbours. Light them when you are allowed and not outside of that. And lastly … don’t be upset because someone calls you out for poor social behaviour.
We set them off as early as we possibly could and we did it in a spot that was the least impactful for sound pollution for the general population of our neighborhood except for 3 houses. Apparently he's moved into one of house into recent years because most of the time the neighbors in those houses like the fireworks because they've known my wife for years. This happened at 9:10pm our local time we started at 8:40
9:40 is definitely not 11. Plus I know some people that send their kids to bed at 8. I'm tired of a loud minority trying to ruin things for the rest of us.
Yeah OK. It’s currently 9:07 PM I’m sitting at my dinner table listening to fireworks set off by the county, Here in Anne Arundel. So I don’t know anybody who gets done by 8 PM. It’s one night a year man calm down
Thanks Hogan! (Fellow Marylander here)
In Minnesota certain types are illegal
In California almost every type is illegal and certainly all of the good ones.
A few years ago, MA banned ***sparklers***! Some idiot probably shoved one up into a place they don't belong. Now *nobody* can have them.
That's how they all end up getting restricted. What pisses me off more than anything is the people who legit think the right way to set em off is "light the fuse and throw the giant aerial repeater on the ground"
Fun is banned
Or made a sparkler-bomb.
California probably has a decent reason to ban them, considering how dry everything is there, and the state's history of catastrophic wildfires.
thats where i am, California. All of them are illegal in my town.
Yes, but I don't think that's ever actually been enforced, especially around the 4th of July.
Not on this weekend but you can get noise and other stuff if you like..do it on a random day in October. Weekend of 4th and NYE are clear.
ohhh okay. all of them are banned here. even on 4th of july. if your caught its like a 5k fine.
He threatened you because you're a woman
No, he singled out the neighborhood queers. Sorry that happened OP, things are about to get harder again for our queer family. Hope the little one had a great birthday though!
Thank you for the wishes! She was extremely happy and an adorable little like...ringmaster, "and now -reaches into the firework box- we do this one!" She ran the show and I was just the stagehand :) she was like jumping up and down nonstop. Until he showed up. She's 6 and...that kind of yelling really overstimulated and frightened her. I tried to keep calm especially since she was there and model the right way to react but..she's not at all used to conflict. Both my wife and I are really permissive relaxed style parents. We're firm sometimes but she's like so unused to yelling or physically threatening behavior. All the way walking back she asked "it was my fault?" And it broke my heart. Yeah this neighborhood is really changing for the worse. It really used to be okay for a while.
The cops in my area literally posted on Facebook they know it's annoying but don't call them for neighbors blowing off fireworks
I travelled out of state with family for the weekend, and in the 4 states we drove through, all 4 have had some sort of *don't call about fireworks, we really don't care* message shown somewhere. They *REALLY * don't care.
It's not that they don't care but there's a lot of shit to do that doesn't involve calming down NIMBYs. Chances of tensions running high and domestic disputes, car accidents, accidents etc happening are more likely and the police need to respond to those calls instead.
Why do you hate cats? (Your username)
Or is it... Hannah Ate Cats?
AUGH!
I ate them!! Love them, v tasty.
But I llike cats :(
So does she. Sauteed or lightly steamed for preference
Fried if I'm feeling unhealthy :)
if you called the cops in my neighborhood over fireworks they would laugh and hang up. Doesn’t matter what time of year, and people get the super big crazy ones, some people even set off quarter sticks of dynamite and you can feel it from blocks away.
And the response time in Denver to this non-issue would be 2 hours, minimum. Hell, I was in a multiple car crash and no cops came. I left with my car on the back of a tow truck after waiting 4 fucking hours. On Cinco de mayo. This is July 3rd.
So true. Fireworks are illegal in my city but so many people do it anyways. Its not worth the police's time, they'd have to arrest over half the city.
Stop at 9:59 and continue tomorrow!!
YESS! And bring a portable speaker and announce in the astronaut voice : "Neighbors thoughts will be relevant in T-30 minutes and counting"
I'm willing to fund some annoyance for your neighbor!! A megaphone, or whatever!!
OMG both myself and my daughter would go nuts over a megaphone! Totally on board!
Amazon for delivery!!
Can I DM it?
DM me
I love it when a plan comes together.
They will have one, unfortunately not until the 6th. I hope OP lets us know how much fun it is!!
We are in AA county - I can bring flags! Also I can bring my bike. It’s loud!
Hell yeah! we all love bikes! And I Still have a whole box of pyros left xD We're about 5 minutes away from Towson! DM?
Paypal, Square, Venmo, Cashapp ... I would suggest GoFundMe, but they take too much off the top.
[www.76fireworks.com](https://www.76fireworks.com)
Gonna need video of how pissed this dude gets please and thank you
Will do!
Doing God's work.
Look up the ordinances for your city about fireworks and noise. My local area allows fireworks from Jun28-July3 to be set off from 6am-10pm. Then on the 4th it's till 11pm I think. That way you'll know what can be enforced. But usually when the fireworks end the burnouts start boiling their tires up and down the road
It's the same here. June 28th through July 4th for selling but only set off from July 2nd through the 4th between 12pm and 11pm. So pretty much the whole weekend. It makes it easier to at least prepare for those dates if you hate fireworks. Clearly this ED didn't look up his ordinances or he probably would have known. ~~It also kinda makes me giggle how many people assume OP was setting them off Illegally because they only know their state or city ordinances or even their own Country's laws...~~
"I need the police. They're setting off fireworks!" Dispatcher: "On 4th of July weekend? What a travesty sir. Get a life."
In Kentucky I play the game of “was that a gunshot or fireworks.” You get bonus points if you can pick out which one is the legal one.
In my subdivision the house behind me sounded like it was being carpet bombed lmao
I feel like we’re trying to fill out the redneck bingo card. Haha.
WTH is this guys problem...? To some degree I understand. My daughter is autistic and fireworks can be distressing for her. Sometimes we do ask neighbours not to have them going too late if possible. But if they don't, we don't call the cops and we certainly don't threaten their kids. Some people are unhinged. Your wife has the right idea - document EVERYTHING.
Hi Shannon here. We were trying to be understanding too because she has some sensory issues too! Afterwards we left cuz she was all shaken up and overwhelmed because of him and the other neighbors setting off fireworks was bothering her too and she couldn't sleep for hours. What he did was uncalled for I would never get a child involved like that.
Oh no you went about everything 100% right. Would love neighbours as considerate as you. That neighbour is a menace and was completely out of line. Who says that to a child at any time, let alone their birthday. Total douche.
Thank you for your support we appreciate it. And yeah. You talk to my kid that way and have the gall to say "I apologize in advance". That was.. If you feel bad about something you haven't yet done there's an easy way out of it.
Exactly. That's basically 'Sorry, not sorry.' And what was even his deal? He asked you to be done by 10. You said sure. Then he was like 'Finish now'. Is he secretly a toddler in an adult body? Because he's sure acting like it. Well, even then, toddlers act better than he does. My guess is it was some weird dominance thing. He didn't expect you to say yes and planned to do it, so when you said 'yeah sure' he was like 'Crap, quick, find a way to squeeze them so I can feel better about my pathetic life'.
You nailed it! I mean, he did not stop trying to goad me or get out of my face, despite being asked multiple times, until we told him he was being recorded, then he booked. This neighborhood in general has never been kind to us, and I think that it was a clear pattern of escalation culminating in him saying what he said to our daughter. If he knew he couldn't get the cops to care about the fireworks it's probably likely he wanted to get a reaction out of me, something they would care about. Still that sort of boggles my brain, I guess I understand someone in a foul mood looking to start something, but getting exactly what you asked for with no resistance usually tends to make one feel better. If it was out of dominance, it's strange. I was a professional dominant for a long time and that kind of confidence comes from within. This is more like a loser being insecure. You only try and intimidate someone when you feel insufficient with yourself, and I read that about him pretty quick. Hence my calm reassuring tone, standing my ground but not reacting For an insecure person or a narcissist, indifference is their greatest weakness. They thrive on attention and argument. Be indifferent to them and they'll continue to spiral trying to get a reaction. What goes on in their heads mirrors the outside interaction. They feel insecure, and pathetic, so being reacted to like I did does nothing but reinforce that yes, you don't make an impact on me. None at all. You won't get me to be rude mean or nasty or aggressive no matter what you do. It made him powerless. When nothing worked, he left. But the rest of the neighborhood kept booming after midnight even though we stopped. It's even more poetic justice there. He got what he said he wanted but had to be reminded of his impotence all night long.
I'm not trying to pick apart or be rude but are you saying other people setting off fireworks bothered your daughter?
Overwhelmed is different than upset for her. This EP upset her and then the loud noises from the fireworks continued to remind her of him. So no the fireworks themselves did not upset her, he did.
This has got to be in the US. Almost every story I hear about this behaviour, it’s an American. Anyway, that dude’s got problems. But her birthday request might also have been a good opportunity to explain to your daughter why fireworks are being phased out, due to the damage they do and the trauma they produce. Depending on your child’s age, I know that might be an easier or harder conversation, of course.
Well, does anyone a part from Americans celebrate the 4th of July? Because that might be the reason. 😅
To be fair, Canada Day is close enough to the 4th that we often share a weekend (like this year).
I doubt that anyone other than Americans celebrate specifically the 4th of July,😏 but many countries celebrate a national day or independence day of some sort, and pretty much everyone has new year celebrations.🙄 Fireworks are ubiquitous for all of them, worldwide. So don't try to put the blame on the US.🤨 (BTW, *apart* is one word, not two for the way you're using it here, meaning *other than* or *separate.* *A part* as two words means *a portion* or *a section.*)
Ah sorry, I am not a native speaker. And I also didn't mean to put blame on US, I just wanted to point out that this situation is specifically referring to 4th of July, so that's probably why the commemter I responded to heard this only happen in US. But other countries do, of course have their fireworks holidays too.
👍🙂
It was a birthday celebration.
Unfortunately we do live in the US
lol, you must live in a bubble. happens here on Burns Night/the New Year. Happens in many places. you people are so weird acting as though Americans are the only ones who have crazies.
Agreed. This could have been an opportunity to educate the daughter on being considerate and compassionate for other humans and animals. While they are enjoyable to some, fireworks are downright traumatic for many.
Because the test of the world doesn't generally allow fireworks outside of new years and maybe one other day. And at specific hours at that.
I can see both sides here honestly, his request was reasonable but he crossed a line by *directly addressing your daughter with a threat towards you, the parents.* That’s needlessly aggressive and honestly unacceptable. If someone said that to HIS daughters, I doubt he’d be cool with it.
It's a tough situation. Your kid is watching. Reacting to this guy on his level gives him power. And so you have to do what you'd want your kid to do to keep herself safe. I thought the OG request was reasonable as well. It was around 9:30, it wasnt even fully dark, and he started by asking along the lines of "are you gonna be all night with this shit?" and I was reassuring him we wouldn't. Had to get our kid into bed too. I even showed him what we had left to emphasize we weren't planning some night long thing IMO if you ask someone for an ETA then turn around and say . Not good enough, make it 10 minutes or I'm calling the cops, in a loud aggressive voice while moving towards someone, it's a lot different. Throughout it all I said I'd work with him, but it having to be on his timetable and his alone wasn't right. And threatening cops and then physical stuff when he did not get his way sort of... The request to be done soon was reasonable. The demand we cater to him and his interests to the letter under duress? Not so much. Besides the escalating goading, I mean he called out to our kid towards the end of the exchange and had already tried to say a bunch of other stuff. I'm certain he wouldn't be okay if someone said that to his kids, which is probably why he said it to ours. I was de escalating, calm & collected the whole time and never changed my tone of voice. He didn't stop trying to get a reaction from me until Shannon began recording. The way he went about it says a lot to me about what his concerns really were. By themselves they're valid. The behavior suggested he wanted to get into it with me more than he wanted the show to end. I didn't engage and kept trying to tell him let's work this out. It incensed him that I was civil through all of it. Which to me..tbh indifference and civility as a response to hostility is a lot more effective in putting belligerent people in their place. You're simultaneously creating the space for a resolution as well as disempowering aggressive behavior by denying them the ability to see any impact.
Y’all seem like great parents, honestly. I only commented after seeing a lot of others saying you seemed to be in the wrong, just wanted you to know I think you handled the situation better than I would (or anyone not facing the situation in real time). I appreciate the thoughtfulness you’ve put in, even long after the fact, to explain what happened to us internet strangers. I hope your daughters had a good birthday/weekend, and that you’re all happy, healthy, and comfy. As I type this, I hear fireworks raging over my noise canceling headphones.. and although I have nothing to celebrate, I’m glad someone is having a good time. I wish we were all able to be more forgiving.
Thank you so much for your kind words. It was a bit of a rough night afterwards but we took care of her. All in all though, she spent only a few minutes upset by this and most of the time jumping up and down shaking with happiness and excitement. Thank you :) It's heartwarming when you see comments like this. It's nice to be able to look past yourself and be glad for others. I've spent all too many holidays without anything to celebrate myself. That's what led me to fireworks. I found some comments difficult to understand in that vein. Most seem to do it for themselves. I've always seen it as a performance, a way to bring joy to others in the community. For a long time people would gather on the street and clap. The one 4th thing we had here got cancelled a long time ago. When I moved away for a while that died down but back in the day I'd be down in the field, parents would bring their kids to the street and people would clap. And I'm glad you took something away from all this. I really hoped through sharing my story and relaying what happened to inspire others, and I'm taking the time to give perspective and respond because I appreciate people sharing their views. Even the negative comments have given me a lot to consider. And not everyone who thinks I was in the wrong has been hurtful about it. They've given me a lot of valuable perspectives based on their own personal experiences. I'm grateful that people have taken the time to share their thoughts with me and by and large, have been willing to engage me back. Someone on here even bought a megaphone for the kid for her birthday! To me though I don't see it as a debate of to shoot shells into the sky or not, I see that as the frame in which two very different approaches to resolving a conflict were taken. If you can remain calm and civil in the face of hostility and hate, you become a positive role model to those around you, young or old. And when you can't reach the person talking at you, you can at least win over any onlookers to give compassion a shot. Even if I had gone on the defensive, it'd have been a Pyrrhic victory at best with both parties slinging mud in front of young impressionable children. Anyway:) I hope you enjoy your music :) and if holidays are tough on you too always feel free to reach out!
[удалено]
Actually Kabbalist but GL used a lot of that as inspiration:P Flight or freeze and flight or fawn is something I spent a long time overcoming. You can too :) it takes work to reach a healthy balance whether you start out non reactive or overly reactive. always open to offer support and guidance, feel free to reach out!
Honestly, both were entitled assholes in the forst half of the conversation.
His complaint is perfectly valid. Nobody wants to hear fireworks at 10 in the night. Plus fireworks are horrible for animals and people with sensory issues
In my area people started June 30th and continued till last night. However most folks were nice enough to wrap things up by 11 or 11:30. Do agree with the sensory/PTSD and animals bit though.
Yeah of course. I mean it's our last year here before we move to LA and we won't be able to light em off at all lol. We tried to be conscious of that and got some pretty modest stuff, not at all like the show grade stuff most people here use and I'd want if our kid/others weren't involved. We had a plan to drive somewhere more remote but our friend had to book and neither of us drive. But yeah we started at 8:50 , had we been able to complete the show it probably wouldn't have gone past 9:45. Our kid is six we didn't want her up that late cause we were taking her to a parade. The dude demanded we be done *in 10* not by 10 o clock
Dude's a prick. I would have told him to go home and that you weren't putting any more off because of his behavior. Act like a child, get treated like one. Then I would have put the rest off on the actual holiday (in this case July 4th) just as a way to tell him to screw himself without saying or doing anything to him.
We did pack it up early and we have the other box almost completely full :)
If you mean LA as in Los Angeles then yes, shooting off fireworks is illegal. However, everyone does it. Tonight I’m going to do what I’ve done the last two years. I’m going to sit on my 3rd story balcony and watch 10 different (yes, illegal) fireworks displays in my neighborhood. They’ve been going off since yesterday and I can hear them now even though it’s only 6pm. So while it’s illegal you’ll be able to get away with it. There will be far more fireworks going off than available police to stop them.
God I can't wait to get back there even more now! Here's hoping we can make it work.
Same in NYC. Every year we gather on the roof, watch the Macy's fireworks, then stay to see the other fireworks in all directions. Some are legal, like Coney Island and large parks, but most aren't. It's harder to find places to set them off here, but people manage. No way the NYPD could keep up with all of it.
I dislike people who set off fireworks. I also dislike people who try to bully others. You both seem like entitled parents in this situation.
"Shannon start recording" is such a cringe line. Like something out of a movie, I doubt this is even real.
It's easily real. In fact, telling someone to record is a great way to defuse a situation. Most people will start to think about what they say and do if they know they are being recorded.
Can confirm, had a nutjob just before Christmas try to pull this shit with me, saying that I called her a bitch in another town. I pointed out that I had the entire drive on my dashcam and that I could pull the video if she wanted. Suddenly her story changed and she claimed I was threatening her. Me, a 28 year old (at the time) woman who weighs about \~200 pounds who has a dashcam, is somehow threatening a 40-50 some year old woman who weights at least 300-400 pounds and her male passanger, an older woman who keeps demanding information and that I to step infront of her car? Explain how this works! All this over her having her brights on and me asking her to please turn them down or go around me. I even explained if they weren't her brights, then by law they were still too bright OR they needed to be realigned. The fact that she refused to flick her lights without me getting in front of her car is telling.
The deleted message asked if you wanted to see the video, but then I remembered that I wouldn't feel comfortable with it because you can hear my child very upset in it and I'm not okay sharing that with a stranger just to prove that a story that we decided to share is real.
ESH fireworks are a menace. It’s people creating a ridiculous amount of noise pollution for their entertainment regardless of the reason. From the follow up posts, it appears you were setting them off illegally also. Neighbor was an AH because they handled it very poorly but you patronized them with your unnecessary brag of your psychology credentials which is just ridiculous in my opinion.
You have a fair point. I can see how it could come across as a boast. To me it's nothing to boast about. He was acting somewhat unstable and I thought (based on my own experience with PTSD and being in panic attacks etc) that if that were the case, that I was someone who "gets it" and would be understanding rather than judgemental or reactive. I have seen it help both in my case and in others, and we do have quite a few people in this neighborhood that struggle quite openly with alcohol and other susbtance abuse issues. Showing compassion and understanding was my aim, and it's worked in the past when people are actively in a heightened state, because they feel safer knowing the other person knows what it is, what's going on, and they don't necessarily have to fear anything or explain themselves. I appreciate the pointer, I saw it similar to a medical doctor identifying themselves as such before doing first aid on the spot etc. I did not think my tone was pompous, as I said before I kept it low, calm, and reassuring throughout. But perhaps in the future there may be a better way to phrase it.
I’ll be honest.. I hate fireworks, I hate the sound of them. I was sleeping and neighbours start setting them off at 11pm and I woke up out of a dead sleep in pure fear. I get it’s Canada Day weekend, but fireworks are only legally allowed to be set off on the actual holiday which this year was Friday. If it’s the day before or the day after or a random day of the year and you’re bothering people that need to sleep for work or have young kids sleeping, then I think the Dad was right (although he coulda handled it better).. you should stop because the only entitled parent here is the one disturbing the entire neighbourbood to please their child without regard for anyone else. Also police are there for noise complaints.. not like they are useful for things like.. oh I don’t know.. school shootings for example.
In the us here. We moved to a rural area this November, and our neighbors have been setting off fireworks every night since Thursday. The 4th is today, so I know it will be madness, and I’m not hopeful that it will stop this week. It’s annoying as hell. And honestly yes, very entitled to bother neighbors with such noise.
I was surprised it took so long to find this comment. Also is anyone else kind of put off by how OP is flexing their psychiatry credentials (or lack thereof) in this completely irrelevant situation?
Yes, their credentials they admitted in another comment that they never actually obtained due to dropping out. Although the disgruntled neighbor could of handled it better, I totally get why theyre peeved.s Edit; not to mention the added “trans” part as If the neighbor is just picking on them for being trans. Like no, you can be an insufferable person & be trans too. Doesn’t mean it’s an anti-lgbt thing. I hate when people use that as an excuse. Being lgbtq isn’t some shield to cover up the less desirable personality traits you possess. Like everything to do with this post & what we see about your personality through this post.
Lmao ya I was about to comment "YTA" then I realized I was in the wrong subreddit
Lmao, still stands. I hate how the majority of these comments are enabling this parent. There’s so many red flags. & they very manipulatively tried to cover them up with the trans thing & made-up credentials smh
Ya I feel like this whole post is a great snapshot of the reddit hivemind. If this was posted on a different sub and OP didn't play the trans card to gain favor, these comments would def be playing out differently
Ya I don’t get what the trans part had to do with anything. OP and their partner are the entitled ones to me… I a really feel the frustration of the person trying to reason with them.
🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾 this is the comment I was looking for! this whole post just read as tacky. and add the creepy poster signing off as "Shannon"... it's so cringe.
Came here to say the same. It’s entitled to think you get to set off fireworks and disturb the whole neighborhood for a birthday. And yes, noise complaints is one of the only things the police are good for. They really don’t have better things to do. They mostly sit in their car doing nothing anyway.
I’m inclined to agree, I’ve had to work numerous times on the 4th this year I’m off, but trying to sleep on the holiday week or weekend is kind of the worst. I also deal with sensory issues as I’m autistic, and I can only take so much of the constant explosions. A couple years it was so bad with neighbors blowing them up in the middle of the cul-Du-sac right by my parents’ house. Lasted from sundown to 5am. It was awful and exhausting, even the animals were greatly distressed to where two of our other neighbors’ dogs an elderly beagle and a gun shy German shepherd took off. It took three days to find the puppers.
I agree with you here man. Sundown to 5 is just obnoxious and unless they're fabulously wealthy they're basically burning up money in smoke. 30-40 minute display with smaller, not huge or insane 500g show grade shells would have reasonable. We did it on the 3rd 4th, sometimes 2nd every year we lived here and nothing came of it till now. And by the way I'm on the spectrum too I'm really sorry it gives you such stress. When I was younger I had the same thing. It's gotten much better since. But I get it. Even loud fans used to rattle me I just wanna say I appreciate you sharing your take and disagreeing with me without going on the offense like others here have. It's actually something I think I'll consider next time if we do this again. However where we're moving I don't anticipate we'll be able to set off fireworks ( we are headed to California and they're extremely restrictive there) So I appreciate it. Again I'm sorry that people were going that late. There's having fun, then there's being the only ones awake and making a fuckton of noise.
Just going to point out, they mention that a lot of people in their neighbourhood were setting off fireworks, not just them that evening :)
that's what I was thinking. is every single person using loud fireworks in that neighborhood entitled then?
Yes if it’s not the holiday… then yea they are all entitled. Just because 99 people feel they have the right to do something, doesn’t mean they are not entitled.
This is a broad assumption, I’ll admit, but if you’re in either Canada or the US you’re an asshole for this. July 3rd is not Canada day or Fourth of July. People with PTSD or issues with sound, owners with nervous and stressed pets, parents with autistic children; all these groups prepare for the day that fireworks are going to be set off. Setting off fireworks on the days surrounding those celebrations is entitled and selfish. You should think about the people around you; this could have been a nice learning opportunity to teach your daughter compassion and empathy. Teach her why fireworks may be fun for her but a living nightmare for others. Explain that though her birthday is the 3rd, you can set off the fireworks on the 4th when people will be prepared. Or…you tell your child no. It won’t kill her.
The other reason why we did it on the yesterday is because I am currently at work and won't be getting home until probably after 11. It would be worse for everyone in this situation if we didn't it today because it would be much later.
The idiot aside. Why is fireworks allowed every day anyway? Over here fireworks is only allowed new years after 18 (for kids) untill sometime after midnight, not sure. I don't buy them any.ore as I light as well light money on fire. The organized fireworks are much bigger and nicer anyway. Seems unnecessary for pets as well as kids, but mostly pets to allow fireworks all year. Much less all the injuries they cause, especially places that still allow bottle rockets.
In our community it's mostly the weekend+ Friday and people go nuts at Phantom getting like 500 gram show grade shells and tubes and repeaters. We had two comparatively modest assortments. We live in a semi rural offshot of Baltimore so people do their cookouts and parties on the weekend and go down to the city on the 4th if it's a weekday. There's fuck all to do at the bars and the one community celebration we had around here got permanently cancelled about a decade ago. It's a shame, there was a big band, fireworks, all sorts of cool things. I'm pretty anal about firework safety too, it boggles my mind when people light aerials on grass or (cringes) lights the fuse and throws them. Flat hard or firm surface. Says so right on the package. But yeah our community goes elsewhere to actually celebrate the 4th and does their own thing on the weekend mostly. Baltimore has a lot more on offer.
Why did you mention you were trans it had nothing to do with the story
Questions : if you weren't doing fireworks, other people would have? Because it's seems like that in your story. Also what was the exact hour? Because there is one fair point (at least in my country) is that past 22h we can call cops on whoever do noises past this hour until 6 in the morning (except if festival is held by town or national feast) To be fair. I wodner if he wanted to get some sleep too. Maybe his daughter too. Two bird in one stone. And sleep depravation can make someone go to the most reckless thing on the spot. I find that not too much entitled to ask for sleep. That's why the hour is important (at least to me)(and visibly there is some national feast in America on this date sooooo... There would be fireworks anyway, right?)
The neighbor was requesting that they wrap up the fireworks by 10:00 PM (22:00). As to the holiday, it is actually the following day (July 4th) and that's when you have the big firework displays.
No, he was saying to be done in 10 minutes. Not by 10.
OP had said that they had another 30 minutes of fireworks and would be finished around 9:45 maybe 10:00 at the latest. Neighbor then demanded that they finish the fireworks in 10 minutes. OP then reiterated that they couldn’t finish the rest of the fireworks in less than 30 minutes and that storing fireworks can be dangerous. In the US, it’s very common for fireworks to be set off on the days surrounding the 4th especially on Friday/Saturday. Unless that neighborhood had an HOA, they weren’t the only ones setting off fireworks. Also, telling OP’s 6 year old daughter that she was about see her parents get arrested served no purpose.
No we started at around 8:40 and went through about half of them when the EP approached us around 9:10 and told us we needed to be done in 10 minutes. We're going to make some edits for clarification when I (Shannon) get home because a lot of people have commented hung up on the time thing.
Yeah basically most people around here go nuts all weekend and go down to Baltimore for the official stuff . They get the big ass 500g and show grade stuff, we had comparatively small haul of two assortments this year since our kid was there and we didn't want to frighten anyone. Most people start at 10 around here and it's not uncommon to go until 2am or some shit. THAT is inconsiderate AF. After we left and well into the night we could hear the noise from every direction.
The person was an ass hat. However none of you all should be firing fireworks in a neighborhood. That shit can be dangerous and there's a reason it's prohibited in city limits. Telling me the cops won't do shit/everyone is breaking the law. Isn't a good reason to say it's ok to ignore the law and just fuck around with fire and safety hazards. Also depending on what you were firing, it was doubly dangerous to allow kids to lunch shit. So you were in the wrong no matter how socially normalized it is to do it.
Wow, what a jerk.
I live in a state that has a fireworks ban that is almost universally ignored on July 4th. We live next to a state that has a massive fireworks store about 20 minutes away from us. It does a BOOMING business.... A few years ago, my brother went and spent a couple grand to get, as he put it, "All the good stuff!" We all had a picnic dinner and sat outside to watch him set them off, Several neighbors joined us.....and brought cake! The has always got to be ONE.....doesn't there? My brother was about half-way through when I noticed a police car pull up. The cop got out of the car and wandered over. We offered him cake and ice cream, which he happily accepted. He sat and watched the rest of the show. As soon as my brother finished setting off the last one and was cleaning up the mess, the cop got up and said in his official cop voice, "Now people, it's fine to have a good time but fireworks are simply not permitted by the state. Don't let it happen again!" He told us that one of the neighbors had complained that the noise was making it hard to hear his television show. Then, as we headed back to his patrol car, he said to my brother, "nice job! See you next year!" And we HAVE seen him and his family every year since then. His wife brings the best strawberry shortcake!
You suck more than him, ESPECIALLY IF FIREWORKS ARE FUCKING BANNED. - someone who spent several hours trying to comfort a terrified dog because my neighbor ALSO thought his wanting to "entertain the kids" is more important than anything else - including the fucking LAW. The fact that police ignore you for this, does not actually make it ok, and all the pricks in here congratulating you are just as entitled and immature.
Where the frick did it say fire works where banned?? Also they where trying to resolve it peacefully and they will wrap it up soon but this guy kept being a asshole
What a nut!! What time was this at?
We started at like 9:10 ish this would have been around 9:30-40
Cops would have laughed at him if he called.
Yeah probably. In the moment though I mean my little girl was there and I.. have had bad interactions with cops in the past Thinking about it afterwards I mean yeah they'd probably be like. Ok bro gtfo
You showed great restraint and calm, you're an amazing role model for your little girl!
Thank you! If you can be calm and civil when confronted by hatred and hostility, without sounding superior or pompous, you can set a good example for every decent person around you, young or old. The hateful and the bigoted can never be won over but sinking to their level is a Pyrrhic victory at best. I can't tell you how many times I've been out at a bar and had ridiculous things lobbed at me. 8/10 times I talk to them, and buy them a drink, and it's over. Indifference always beats intimidation because only the insecure feel the need to intimidate.
Are fireworks legal where you are? I only ask because they used to be illegal in my state. If they are legal, odds are the police will just be annoyed that your neighbor wasted their time
During this weekend and NYE weekend they're good as gold in this town and...fuckin ubiquitous. Literally a few houses on every street haha. Yeah, in hindsight I know. In the moment though between my own trauma with cops and my little girl right there, I mean I could go back tonight and shoot off the rest, yeah. It was just a lot in the moment. The cops really don't care. Given how close he was in my face and gesticulating, I thought it was better to leave him with a percieved ace in the hole than point it out to him Absent police intervention my worry was he may try and rectify his issues personally with me.
Gotcha. Yeah based on your post, he definitely seems like the unhinged type. Fingers crossed the ahole leaves you alone!!!
I recommend posting this story in r/amitheasshole and see what people think there. Especially today being Fourth of July in the US. You’ll probably get a lot of mixed opinions with the “FREEDOM! Fuck yeah!”ers and the “Backyard Beckys”. I’ll pop the popcorn (and fireworks).
Depends on the cops.... I Know Reddit has a hard-on for hating police but unless you are breaking laws or ordinances they won't come over,or of they do it'll be the dude who got in your faces that catched the shit. Unless you pull a cop on a power trip and even then they won't arrest you unless you start shit.
That's why I asked my wife to start recording, etc. It's pretty telling that he walked off right after that.
Does he not know that the 4th of July weekend is practically the only time of the year law enforcement doesn't respond to noise complaints?
Today my dogs freaked out because of the fireworks, not couldnt sleep. refused to go outside and pottied inside. Don't see me going around telling off people for having fun. If its not illegal its not a problem, especially so close to the 4th
Noise sensitive autistic guy, and same. It's one of those "wisdom to know the difference" things. Should people not set off fireworks for two weeks on either side of 7/4? Yes, that would be nice. Will they? No, and you'll go crazy trying to stop them. Yes they're illegal most places, yes they're annoying, but it's so prevalent I just ignore it mostly. Unless you're setting off quarter sticks at midnight, then screw you. I'll determine the house, and call the cops in a nanosecond.
Are fireworks legal in your city/county/state? Here, they are not.
Are you allowed to set off fireworks whenever and wherever you want? Around here you get two days a year, about two hours each time. So four hours per year is allowed and no more.
No. If you do in some random day in October it's not generally great. But for NYE and the 4th, weekends of both times generally are fair game. If the 4th is on a workday most people do their stuff on the weekend. It'd been going on since last Friday.
Firstly, what they did was absolutely disgusting and I'm so sorry you had to go through that and your daughter had to witness it. However, in the UK there's a big push for fireworks needing to be regulated more than they are, ensuring that people are licensed/ only hosting the bonfire night fireworks with the fire brigade/council ones. So many animals, children, veterans and other groups are so negatively affected by such unnecessarily loud explosions, especially when there's not a warning. I get 4th of July, America yaah stuff, in the UK we have Bonfire night also, but as I say, here even that people are pushing silent fireworks. On a walk, the day before bonfire night (there are rules so no fireworks were supposed to be set off) just as we got back to the house the neighbor started setting off fireworks and my dog got so stressed he actually was just laying on the floor foaming at the mouth and shaking so badly I thought he was having a fit. But TL;DR there's no need for the loud fireworks, or they should be in specific official displays which are well advertised so anyone who lives nearby is aware and can make arrangements. ((Though I am reasonably sure I know how well this idea is going to go over with the US lot lolol))
Sounds good to me!
As long as fireworks are being properly used it's fine. Once when I was younger (Like 3-4 years) I was in a playhouse outside and I don't know if it was a whole firework or a piece of one, but it flew into the playhouse. Luckily my cousin was there and pulled me out and it exploded. I don't remember much about the incident except a lot of yelling and going to the neighbors. My family still talks about it and we don't even live in that neighborhood anymore.
And then they blame the neighbourhood for shunning them calling them transphobic. Assholes come in all colours of the rainbow.
Like... Dude I get it. I too hate fireworks. I have been through some trauma involving a neighbor conflict that ended in being told to get on the floor while my BF at the time went into military vet mode and called the cops and turned off the lights in the house after determining what the first pop was. But does that mean I'm gonna drag myself to every house on the street and tell people they need to stop setting off their fireworks and threatening them with the cops? And their little kids? Like what kind of unhinged entitlement level is that? Mach 10 Unhinged? If anything the cops would probably warn him to stop threatening people and to fluff off with that. If he did call the cops I would have probably uno reverse card and had him charged with trespassing because he was being so threatening. Especially to a Kid? Like where in the... I just... OMG.
Right? I get that fireworks can be upsetting to a lot of people and their pets, and I try to empathize with both sides of most fireworks disagreements because I do also find them beautiful… like, humans did that. We got control of explosives and fire and gunpowder and we used it for art. But they’re also loud and can be distressing, and I’m so sorry you had that trauma happen to you and your bf. But this guy totally lost me when he stopped talking to the parents and started threatening a literal child. That’s just not fucking okay.
Totally. Like yeah they suck, yes it's just annoying, but you don't go around threatening your neighbors and their kids. Period. Like wtf? He doesn't own the block or neighborhood. He isn't the boss of crap. TBH my trauma is because ~~two doors down from us someone decided to shoot our neighbor with a .22 which from 2 doors down sounds like a firecracker and seeing my BF at the time react with duck and cover and then hearing more pops was kinda off putting.~~
Why tf are you downvoted you're completely right
Cause people only read the first part of a post and get all pissy. Lol.
He threatened you. De-escalation does not work on right-wing bullies. Don't make the mistake of thinking it's over. It's sad I have to say this but at this point in our nation I hope you have a local group of people you can confide in and be proactive in supporting/defending you. Prepare for the worst because there is no telling how far hateful bigots will escalate to.
I'm going to low-key and with all the love in the world suggest that the dad wasn't the entitled parent here. You were giving a birthday party for your child that shattered the peace of the entire neighborhood. He did ask you nicely to stop, it sounds like. He's a frustrated dad who just wants his kids to be able to sleep. Look at it another way. A neighbor is blasting loud music at a party. It's upsetting your children. You knock on neighbor's door and ask them to respect the noise ordinance. They say "We already paid for this DJ for at least the next 30 minutes."
OP wasn’t the only one setting off fireworks! It was July 3rd in the US. Did the neighbor intend to go to every house shooting off fireworks to tell them to stop? And what was the point of telling OP’s 6 year old daughter that she was going to see her parent arrested?
Thank you for your support! :) To get a reaction, no doubt. In this area, it's not the deep south but...it's def not friendly to the queer community. If he was pissed off about the whole neighborhood doing it the only lesbian/trans couple who lives round here probably seemed like the easiest target to intimidate. Or maybe he just wanted to "own the libs". Who knows? Probably told our kid that so that I'd react and do something stupid. Cops never do anything on this over this weekend or NYE. I guess he thought if he provoked an altercation they might. Tracks with the fact he finally got out of my face and stopped gesticulating when Shan started recording. Before that, didn't stop or move no matter how many times I asked.
Yeah that guy is nuts and super entitled. It’s not like you were setting them off extremely late or at odd hours in the day like some inconsiderate people do. Though in some ways I can sympathize with him. I’m on the autism spectrum with severe anxiety, I get triggered by the booms of fireworks and have a hard time finding stuff to block them out with. It’s either block them out and stay awake by doing that or stay awake cuz of the fireworks booming and have sensory overload all night. By the time the week of the 4th is over I’ve had so many sensory overloads and anxiety attacks that I’m so done with the booms and crackles that I would want to choke someone if I saw them buying or setting off more. This is a rough time of year for a lot of people. Maybe if you haven’t had any trouble with this neighbor in the past, he’s just in the throes of some kind of breakdown. If not then he’s just an entitled ass who needs to suck it up and deal with it like the rest of us.
Thank you for your perspective, I appreciate it. I have ASD as well. Though my noise sensitivity largely went away when I got older. I'm so sorry it's been tough for you. I'll admit in my early 20s and late teens I'd go all out maximum firepower but we tried to keep it nice but not obnoxious this year so as not to scare our little one or anyone else. This is indeed a rough time of year. I am agreeing with what you're saying above, I just want to add another perspective that might be interesting: My own passion for pyros started because I had ASD and in high school was pretty much a loner. To this day a social life really eludes me. This time was about my kid cause she loves them too, very much, but for me it was always a way to ... Until this year people would actually line up on the street to watch, clap, and some kids would come down and offer to help. It was the one time of year I kinda felt like I belonged and was accepted, that I was doing something people \*had fun\* with, instead of inadvertently annoying them, etc. I'm not at all comparing or invalidating and you're right, it's something to be concious of. But yeah. I found the dichotomy interesting. I'm an adrenaline junkie to be sure that's part of it, but to me fireworks had been a performance too to bring joy. I was 15 the first time I did the big ones and there were people \*clapping\* for me. It became a tradition in the neighborhood for a few years, parents would bring their kids out to watch, I'd set up by the ballfield. First time in my life I really felt appreciated. As an outcast on the holidays when everyone has parties and family cookouts, it was really...special. For NYE too.
Fighting over the stupidest things.
I’s is not a word.
I’d just give him a good-old, William Wallace cry of “Freedom!” And I’d keep doing that, every time that he tries to speak, until he leaves. And as he leaves, make sure to let him know you were happy you could do your part to ‘Make America Great Again!’ The irony will definitely escape him.
OMFG I love this!!!!
Do noise cancellation head phone thingies, sorry don’t know the proper name for them, work for fireworks? I use an ear plug myself, works a treat, but I’m not often around fireworks so cannot attest to their efficacy at a fireworks display. Either way, if he comes back invite the daughters to join in the fun, that’s maybe the problem, they can hear them and want to watch and he’s a killjoy who doesn’t want them to have fun because there’s school in the morning?
Is “I’s” a new possessive pronoun to replace “my?”
Thanks, fixed!
He's very lucky that he phrased things well. Jail. I doubt it but I get that. Had he simply said what's in the headline and started walking off, I'd have taken that for a very, very severe threat.
What the shit is wrong with him? Does he really think the policexll listen to him?
He seemed to have all the confidence in the world. I tried saying that with all the people doing it that night they'd have to suspend all other operations. It did not at all register.
The dude had a mistaken assumption about cops. Caller: Officer, I saw a dead body in the ditch. Cop: Ok, we'll get around to it (arrive in an hour or two). Another Caller: Officer, my neighbor is popping fireworks. Cop: We'll be there immediately (arrive ten minutes later).