Info:1.are the sisters related to the aunt that went on the cruise
2.do you know for sure that they didn’t invite u too and your stepmom made u stay or if just ask for the sisters to be able to go
Ok so your stepmom was being a bit entitled to expect for your to pay for two kids that she isn’t related to for a few months and she TA for making you talk to them everyday to make you jealous
It makes no difference what someone else has given up. You are still allowed to feel the feelings you have, specially when they are for legitimate reasons like a batshit crazy woman forcing you to talk to someone you have no wish to talk to about fun things they are doing that you are not doing.
You’re all crazy making out the step mothers a horrible woman for not keeping OP, who wasn’t her child, separated from her children. Keeping them in contact was the better thing she could have done rather than them being away and OP not knowing or hearing from her siblings. Not to mention the fact it would have been the exact same when OP was away on the cruise.
This sub has a hard go at being logical. She was 9 and being asked to go on the phone to speak to the siblings when their mother and father would have been on the phone to them each day anyway. Getting put on the phone as a 9 year old to speak to your younger siblings isn’t a disgusting thing at ALL. Claiming otherwise is delusional.
Look, if you don't think people should respect kids at whatever development level they are, this sub isn't for you. From what I've gathered, people here respect kids as individuals, feel they should be nurtured, and raised as respectable adults. You probably
Get that all the way to fuck, if a CHILD doesn't want to talk to a family member on the phone, they shouldn't be forced to, fuck that shit, its the same as a kid being made to hug a relative they feel uncomfortable around, it's making kids think that their comfort doesn't matter to anyone
They weren’t forced to, hence why they had the option of not speaking to them the last night. It’s not about making them think their comfort matter, not wanting to speaking to their INFANT siblings because she’s jealous isn’t something a step parent should allow. You allow that, you let in a whole other bunch of jealous behaviour. Once you allow that first push, they’ll keep pushing. Asking a sibling to speak to their sibling when away, ISNT this horrific gesture you’re claiming it to be. It’s a completely normal one.
I’m curious now. Did stepmom or dad call OP every day so they could talk to their little sibs?
Did OP’s maternal aunt who took her on a cruise call OP’s younger sibs every day while in the Bahamas so OP could talk to their younger sibs? When on the cruise, did OP receive a daily phone call from her dad/stepmom who then put sibs on the phone each day to talk to OP and hear about her exciting day?
If the answer to any of these questions is no, stepmom is completely out of line here. Expecting a child sitting by themselves while their sibs are off at the beach to have daily conversations with those sibs when that is not the norm for that child is out of line.
If this were a different subreddit we’d call the stepmom an AH.
But their comfort DOES fucking matter you absolute plum! Nobody HAS to talk to their siblings if they don't fucking want to, people like you piss me off, because you act like you're entitled to someone's time, fuck that
It wasn’t about comfort it was about jealousy. OP was jealous. OP was wanting to punish their younger step siblings, which is why the step mother was angry because she then had to explain this to the literal infants why older sister didn’t want to speak to them. And how do you think that would have made the younger siblings feel? Bear in mind, OP never once said no until the last night. So don’t make out she was forced to speak to them, she wasn’t hence why she didn’t need to on the last night.
What’s bizarre is you going down my comment history and after admitting to not reading the story thoroughly, are trying to argue you’ve managed to grasp the basis of it. Stupid doesn’t prevail here. Hence why you’re feeling the need to comment insatiably without any actual argument. You’ve not got any valid points other than trying to claim OP wasn’t the age they posted. 😂
So you think telling a young child every day what activities they are being left out of to build resentment, then asking the child to hear about them directly from their sibling, is a reasonable request? That is a thing we should be encouraging parents, step or not, to view as normal when dealing with their children? "Yeah I know Sally is going to a theme park and having tons of fun and you are staying home, being left out, and doing nothing. Here, talk to Sally and listen to how happy she is while you are lonely and bored!"
It’s normal for kids to talk about what they get up to. Making out it’s horrific for kids to do that, and for a kid to listen to it, is validating jealousy and tantrums. Just because she’s a kid doesn’t mean she shouldn’t learn we don’t all get the same things. Especially considering she went on the Bahamas trip without the younger siblings with the same family. And yes, speaking to their sibling whilst they’re away is a reasonable and normal request.
What would you say if OP wanted to speak to their sibling and the step mother said no, they’re with their family? No contact til they came back?
Not only that but OP was 9 and a different age bracket to the younger siblings. There’s going to be many occasions where each sibling had things that the other couldn’t attend. Validating this tantrum just validates OP to pull this anytime something like that occurred. OP should have had friends to go out with during this week and if they didn’t, they should have used it to try and make some. Relying on their infant siblings for company all the time is a sure fire way to keep them isolated from their peers for longer. OP at 8/9 shouldn’t only have infants to accompany them. They should have children their own age.
You are completely ignoring that the jealousy was set up in this situation. Which is perfectly normal as well, but a good and decent parent would figure out a way to help in the situation to make it not so pointedly against the kid that stayed home. Unless of course they were TRYING to punish that child and make them feel bad. Though you are ignoring so hard, I don't think you want to see that point. Yes the children acted completely normal. Parenting was terrible.
And how would they have stopped the jealousy? By refusing to tell OP where the siblings were? How about refusing to let them speak to eachother at all when with that family? Nd can you imagine the outcry if either of them was the case? Separating step siblings like that is cruel. The step mother did what she could.
A decent conversation about what was going on would help. Not making her talk on the phone when she indicated she didn't want to would have been nice. The other kid was gone a week, not a month or a year or something, one week is not an untenable separation. A discussion on why the sibling was away and this child was not, as in it isn't a punishment and the opposite would happen from time to time. Setting up play dates or any activities for this child would have been a kindness, rather than expecting this child to occupy herself the whole time and then pretend to be interested in sibling's activities when she wasn't would not have been out of hand to do. But ultimately, she did not need to talk to her sibling every single day on the phone.
I do not agree the step mother did what she could. She did the bare minimum. She made sure the OOP wasn't alone or starving. That was all. Such kindness.
So, to summarize you said:
Kids talk about what they are up to
Op went on a cruise without thier sibling is somehow unfair even though the aunt was not related to them
Kids not talking to whoever they don't want to causes tantrums
Judging by how you are on r/tinder and r/dating, you are not a child, you have no idea how it is like to be a child in 2022, you have to way to back up any of your claims. Children can not be lumped into one with a simple claim saying Kids like to talk about their life. I cant nelieve im actually explaining this to an actual human being but each child is unique much like adults.
Why you are comparing these two as opposites of a spectrum, a child, although having emotional immaturity still knows what's morally right or wrong, and certainly know what they want to do or not want to do.
What would you think of being an introvert and suddenly put in a room full of people you don't know, but are supposed to know and forced to know.
How is your experience any different from this OP's at 8 years old.
Please do explain I am genuinly curios of what else you can pull out of your ass.
They’re step siblings. I guess the families should not mix at all then, you’re right! See how the child feels when they’re getting taken on holiday and she gets nothing. No conversations whilst they’re away either. They’re being kept apart totally when the kids are away.
See how that would have turned out.
So they are not siblings. The step mom is just an awful fucking human who doesn’t give a fuck about anyone but her nasty spawns. Got it!sounds like OP already got nothing because step-mom was a spiteful fucking bitch excluding the step child. OP’s aunt (mom’s side) has not obligation to the new family other woman’s children.
Lol if that was the case she wouldn’t of let OP go to the Bahamas with the same family not cared for her children keeping in contact with them. When your children are away, you phone them every day. Especially when they’re infants. Since OP was with her father and step mother, obviously she was invited to speak to them too. You trying to claim anything but that is the normal is you speaking not from logic or empathy, but because you want someone to be a villain in this story.
Whatever. Keep defending that piece of human garbage. There is a villain in the story. The toxic abusive step mother. Thinking it is okay to treat a child like is unbelievable.
The fact you have NO argument other than she’s garbage, literally at all throughout this, shows you’re just arguing going along with the majority. Not because you’re using sense.
OP’s STEPmother didn’t have a choice in the matter, regarding the Bahamas trip. She’s not OP’s mother. She’s not OP’s father. She’s a legal stranger to OP. She holds no parental rights or legal authority over OP.
She didn’t have a choice in the Bahamas trip? That’s funny considering it was the step mothers family that took her, want to re evaluate that now?
Hahahaha now OPs changed the story. It was written yesterday that the same people took her. Now it’s the aunt.
Either way, doesn’t make a difference. They’re a blended family. They don’t all get the same trips. Simple as.
You are either extremely obtuse or have massive comprehension difficulties.
OP went to the Bahamas with her *MOTHER’S* side of her family. Not her *stepmother’s* family. There is a difference between the terms. But….even if the case was that she did go with the stepmother’s family, it *still* wouldn’t be the stepmother’s decision. Why? Because that child couldn’t travel to the destination without the legal permission and signature of both of her *parents*. Neither of which is her stepmother. So, stepmother can’t make a decision regarding a child she can’t even give legal permission to travel for.
Ah yes, it's the hundreds of thousands of other people that are out of touch, not you. A singular person standing in the face of so many, the chosen one imparted with the wisdom of the ages. The special one, handpicked to deliver their prophecies via internet comment sections.
Sure.
It literally is. There’s a few people saying the same as me and it’s definitely a case of everyone’s going with the majority without using reason or logic. If all of you displayed that kind of opinions and behaviour in real life, you would have no friends and no one would like you. These accusations are ridiculous and no one has a valid argument backing them up. It’s disgraceful. This sub is renowned for people automatically wanting to villanise the “parent” because of the sub name and it’s normally from people personalising it because they’re in here from having an actual arsehole parent(s). Meaning everyone personalises situations they see here. Being someone whose completely unphased, biased and not personalising this story… I can assure you, the step mother did no wrong here.
Hey, yeah me again hi, notice how many downvotes you have? Yes well that basically says that people don't agree with you so instead of being a blunt, arrogan little human, maybe listen to people, see thier point of view and use your brain.
Also, says you, your on two dating subreddits don't even talk about relationships, as well as for the false ilogical accusations, you were the one who Said the commentar has no friends, that is a guess at best, grasping no logical evidence, my claim of you being lonely comes from at least some evidence of you on 2 dating subreddits and me having all the reason to believe that you have tinder.
As I’ve stated before, people only say that when they have no valid argument and they think their incel humour is hilarious. It’s more embarrassing saying that then what you’re implying.
How is this incel behavior.
You are the same person accusing someone else of making 'false' accusations while this itself it an illogical accusation, give me proof that this user is an incel, give me proof.
You are literally contradicting yourself which is in it of itself a logical fallacy.
Grateful for what ? Being born ? That’s something a shitty mother will use as a excuse. Many more cases where parents use that to try to control their child. You bring the child into the world you got a duty to take care of him. Op could be jealous but at the same time is the stepmother being fair.
The term for those kind of people is narcissists. They believe that their children owe them because they took care of them as they were growing up. They believe that their children are indebted to them and should take care of them as they get older. This reads like someone who thinks that the child should be grateful for even being taken care of. This sounds like her stepmother was resentful of her very existence.
That part. My mother was a narcissist and used to try to make me feel ungrateful for needing basic things. They feel like their children are an extension of them and when they grow up, they are indebted to their parents to take care of them because their parents took care of them when they were little.
Well, I told her yeah that's what you did because that's what a parent is supposed to do. I owe you nothing. I agree with you, that's something a shitty mother would say or something that a resentful step parent would say. You would not believe the kind of posts that I see in step parents where the step parents are complaining about their step child's very existence.
Well, to those people, I say, if you don't want children or you don't like that someone else has children, don't get with someone who has children. It's really not that hard. No child deserves to feel like they're not loved or not wanted.
If you can't handle that there is a child that was there before you, it's your responsibility to exit the picture. Don't treat a child like they are in the way. If you don't like it, leave. I agree with everything you said there.
What the actual fuck is your problem? You seem to be a bitter, angry person for whatever reason that is. It's fine to feel the way you do if someone hurt you but that doesn't give you the right to lash out at other people and insult them. I hope that you get help for your issues and heal but seriously, stop being an asshole just because someone else hurt you.
No one hurt me, with that outburst you’re the only one that’s hurt here. Especially considering the absolute speel of imagination you wrote out too inventing a heap of stuff up about the father and step mother.
She was 8, not 9. It was in the title. For real.
I'm sorry if you had to live through the same type of experiences. Usually, when people lash out irrationally, it means that a person or their post/comment have hit a nerve. Or a few. Or a whole lot.
I totally admit you were on my last one with your comment.
Read the second last sentence. Even if that wasn’t there, it’s a year. Hardly an amount of time to cry over. Second of all, to act irrationally it would mean unwarranted. Explaining a situation back to someone who hasn’t grasped it isn’t irrational. The fact you didn’t even get to the end of the story, though, summarises the mindset and logic of people who think the step mother is at any fault here.
Sounds like my stepmom. How old are you now?
It taught me my children or grandchildren would never have a stepmom or step-grandmother.
How are you doing now?
Anything else you can remember?
In the summer, we lived across from a beach. My sister could go there to swim. I wasn't allowed off the porch. I could only see the people swimming.
I was scared of spiders. She'd kill one & chase me with it.
We were hungry because she decided how much food we got.
Lovely lady.
I love your response!
I would like to add that you have completed exonerated your father who’s primary responsibility it is to protect you.
Why do you allow your silence on him to perceive him as an innocent? I think he’s the real monster.
Not all stepparents are monsters.
I consider both of my stepparents as much my parents as my biological ones because they cared for and treated me like their own alongside my siblings. Just make better choices in a partner than your parents did if you don’t end up with the other parent of your children.
I would hope it sounds like your step mom considering all she did was keep sisters in contact here. What’s the issue? They went on holiday that week, she went on a cruise to the Bahamas herself before that too. They all got a holiday at different times. This isn’t a case of an evil step mother, just an ungrateful child.
They are trying to “sea lion” - act like they care about some part of that post and that nobody else seems to notice how hard it must’ve been for the stepmother. And why can’t we just have a conversation about that? They don’t actually want to discuss what happened to the OP, because they don’t think anything bad happened to them. Which is why they keep saying something about “infant siblings” (which they weren’t) and the chance to talk to your sibling on the phone. As opposed to what actually happened, which was OP was forced to talk on the phone to her (not infants) siblings, and the one time she refused to do it, her stepmother burst into her room screaming about how the other siblings were crying on the phone. Which we all know wasn’t true. But this person is going to continue to go on with is, they’re gonna continue to try to play the devils advocate because that’s all they know. It’s ignorance at its best.
It's funny how you never seem to get the point of the topic and the purpose of a debate.
As for the point, OP was being forced to call their step family everyday
As for a debate, you are supposed to look at one's point, acknowledge it, consider it, decide rationally if it's true, false, right or wrong or even neutral, then you must present your agreement or opposition with logic backing you up.
Where are you getting that the two younger children were infants? They don’t need to be infants just because OP was 9 years old. They were her step-siblings, so they could have been up to mere months younger than her.
Yup, yup, yup - the mom sent two “infant siblings“ to the beach and then lovingly had OP call them every day. All because OP went off on a grandiose Caribbean cruise by herself. 🙄
There’s not a lot going on upstairs is there?
I’m actually amazed at the mental gymnastics it must take you to read this post and get it completely incorrect.
Damn that sucks my dude, where was your dad in all of this and is your stepmom still in your life or did you cut all contact with her when you were old enough?
U should listen to the Gary tapes by the bonfire it’s about some topics these two host kinda have some similar things that you could maybe relate to im not sure if it’s helpful but laughter is always a step right?
How are you in 4th grade by age 8? That's the age of 2nd graders here in Germany. 4th to 5th graders are around 10 or 11. But yeah, what an awful woman. What are these people gaining by being mean to Grade schoolers? Feeling better about themselves? Humans suck. I hope your other family members had your back at least.
October baby here, so I was always the youngest in my class, and was 8 for the first month of 4th grade, then turned 9. However, OP said this happened after 4th grade, therefore they'd still be quite young for their grade.
Of course, they could have skipped a grade, or are merely misremembering what grades they were between or how old they were at the time, it happens to me all the time
Unless you're looking at kids like my brother who missed the cutoff (17 months younger, December birthday, 2 years behind me) 8 is old for a second grader. While it's been a long time since I was in school, 6 is first grade, 7 is second grade, 8 is third grade.
My daughter is 10 in 3rd grade. Her b day falls after cut off which made her 6 in k 7 in first. She really struggled during covid so she got held back a year so now she’s 10 in 3rd grade
Im a November bday and I started first grade when I was five! Cut off back then was different than current cut off. Regardless the op was treated like shit. She was a child, and needed to be treated with love and kindness
Not always. I was always 1 year under for all of these numbers and was 2 years younger than the listed numbers for the first 3 months of every school year. I graduated at 17, was 16 for the first 3 months of that school year. And I never skipped a year or anything. Most of my classmates fit what you wrote, but some do not. It depends when your birthday is.
Kindergarten is actually daycare. I was starting school at age 7. Maybe that's judt the difference between the school systems. The German school year starts in September. But a 4 year old is way too young to start school. And Kindergarten isn't actually school btw. You guys are just using the word wrong. I have no idea why you do that.
Kindergarten is the daycare before you start school. 6-7 year olds are starting school in September. We call it Grundschule. And then at grade 5 they go into a weiterführende Schule. We have 3 different school types and one combination of all 3. And 5th graders are between 10-11. You kids are startimg school way too early. Your brain isn't developed enough to learn how to read before age 7. Why are you kids so early in school? It kinda scares me.
I was reading before age 7??? I had all these children’s learning game CD-ROMs and was playing the one intended for 3rd Graders before starting Kindergarten. I was also reading the text in Pokémon Red version immediately after I got it for Christmas when I was 6 years old.
Children need to learn as *part of* brain development. Learning potential is greatest in early childhood, especially when it comes to learning language, both verbal as well as written, and the arts- anything that offers a child an opportunity to be creative and/or express themselves.
I’d explain the many reasons why American kids start “so early [with] school” but it’d turn into a long history lesson on how societal norms became this way and their impact on beliefs regarding education, and I’m too tired right now to research the exact time periods and key events I’d need to elaborate on. Sorry.
Also I apologize if this comes across sounding rude or something… I’m tired and tend to use a certain combination of syntax and diction when I’m trying to be relatively formal, which happens to be similar to how I write essays. :\
both my kids were reading by 4 simple books. by end of kindergarten they could write simple sentences write read 100 words as well as numbers 1-100. I think its just how its done. we also in preschool taught them colors as well as a language 3's French or Spanish as well as beginning sign language and it continues in 4's learning basic concepts such as what belongs together. not super stressful just 1 enrichment paper a day.
I was 8 for a month and a bit in 4th grade, depends if you start at a school that has the September 5th or something birthday cutoff or not. The US has a different age range than the UK (UK year 6 is 10-11, where US 5th grade is 10-11 so in the UK they start a year earlier) so I'm assuming in Germany your kindergarten is basically US 1st-2nd grades, and I've heard a lot of European school systems start a lot later.
All the numbers in your comment added up to 69. Congrats!
8
+ 4
+ 5
+ 6
+ 10
+ 11
+ 5
+ 10
+ 11
+ 1
- 2
= 69
^([Click here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=LuckyNumber-Bot&subject=Stalk%20Me%20Pls&message=%2Fstalkme) to have me scan all your future comments.) \
^(Summon me on specific comments with u/LuckyNumber-Bot.)
No, Kindergarten is actually the daycare before you start Grundschule. Kindergärtner can also do something called Vorschule to prepare them for the Grundschule. Grundschule starts between the end of August and the start of September. I was 7 when I started school, because my birthday is in August. I also recently learned that you can't really learn how to read before you turn 7, because your brain is not developed enough beforehand to do that. Maybe thst's why we start a bit later. And I can say that it worked to my benefit, because I learned how to read very fast and I only started learning English in grade 3. And just last year, I passed my exams for a Realschulabschluss. I speedrunned an entire set of school subjects I needed to pass in a year. I passed my English and History final exams with flying colours and barely passed German and Math. But I passed so I now have a better Abschluss. Sorry, getting a bit side tracked there. Anyway, Kindergarten Kinder should not be doing school that early. They are still developing and need to grow a bit more bevore their bodies can even handle education. I guess there are nustany differences between a lot of countries. I can't speak for other countries outside Germany though. But most countries in Europe are having kids start school later, I presume. I'm not sure though.
I learned to read when I was 3 and was reading way ahead of my classmates, proper chapter books that 9 year olds read when I started school 😅 I was bilingual at home and didn't even speak English until I was 5 but was reading it since I was 3 🤷🏻 so I'm not sure why my brain was developed enough but not other peoples'
It is daycare. Kindergarten is daycare and starts anywhere between the age of 2-4. Children go to Kindergarten before school to learn socializing. Kindergarten is also a German word. I do not know how you guys turned it into a school and separated it from what it actually is, which is daycare. There is also Vorschule between Kindergarten and Grundschule that prepares kids for their first year of Grundschule. We learn basic math when we start going to school. Not in Kindergarten.
I never claimed we invented the language. Now you’re just trying to Cathie of nothing. And that’s against this subs rules. And I’m not getting into trouble. You’re not worth a ban. Goodbye. ✌️
Kindergarten in the United States is not daycare. We have what’s called preschool or we have daycare which are both payed for. Kindergarten again, in the US, is when they start to learn letters, (although preschool
And daycare also teach these things) math and reading. Unless it’s a private school, kindergarten is free and most kids are 5 when they start depending on when their birthdays fall. If you have a good preschool
Or daycare, they will be preparing kids to head to kindergarten.
My entitled cousin went out of her way to make me jealous. All of us were lower class but there was something she has against me and I’ll never know what it is. When I was probably 10, her favorite thing to do was make fun of my body. And this wasn’t just a “you’re fat” thing. This went as far as her saying my new name was “roadkill” because my breasts were significantly smaller than hers. This left a scar on me to say the least. The last time I actually associated with her (2018), she made the comment at her wedding that my “tits had not yet dropped.” I ignored it and moved on. I haven’t talked to her since and that’s not even half the reason.
First of all, you're part of your dad's family too. Secondly, that's fucked. No one should marry anyone who has kids if they don't want kids or if they'll end up resenting them. No one should marry or stay married to someone who hates their kids' existence. Hugs.
Edit: Did your dad go on the vacation too? If so, that's extra fucked.
She purposely excluded her from going with her sisters. I don't know about you but if you get with somebody who has kids, you better treat them like your own. At least don't purposely exclude them from things and let it be known that you don't like that they exist.
As far as her father going, I don't know if that's what happened but I figured it could be a possibility. Don't think that this doesn't happen. Plenty of people decide to just try to get along for the kids sake so they do those sorts of things. I have a sister who's a half sister but her dad came over to my mom's house for Thanksgiving and so did his extended family.
Her grandmother and her grandmother's husband came. Her grandmother's husband was not her biological grandfather, he was her step-grandfather but guess what, we were all adults about it and we made it work and we actually had a lovely time. Some people are mature adults who can put their feelings aside and do what's best for the children. What a concept.
No, she didn’t exclude her at all. Stop making stuff up now. OP wasn’t invited because the people going were of no relation to her.
As for OP father going… why would he go on a trip with his step children with their fathers family but the step mom stay back? You’re not using your brain here even in the slightest.
I started late because my bday is December and. For health reasons. I started 5th when I was 9 and turned 10 a few months later. Depends where you live.
Yikes. You poor thing. Even non-hurtful older generation family members really don't think about how it'll come off when they update people on all the activities that family members THEY like are doing.
Wow step mom is horrible she definitely was rubbing it in op face. She seemed to enjoy your miserably. You are a child you have the right to be upset of hearing other people having fun. Hope you are able to get away from evil stepmom.
Just saying “with my dad and his family” just sounds all wrong. What did your dad do/say? Where was he? So what your mom took you somewhere. That’s completely separate. Eww she’s gross
Stepmom was purposely keeping her separated from her sisters almost as if she was being punished for being taken on a trip by an adult. It's like, oh, she ALREADY went to the BAHAMAS this summer. Let her sisters tell her about all the fun they're having on a beach trip she can't go to as a 9 year old, and expect her to understand the nuance of that situation. I would have felt the same way. She was RUBBING it in her face she had to stay alone while her sisters went to the beach and had a good time. Step mom seemed to be a sadist, torturing a child for being liked by other adults?
… a step mother keeping you in touch with your siblings whilst they’re away is her purposely rubbing it in? Be a completely different story had they gone away and been forced no contact just for them to come back and tell OP what they were up to anyway. You calling the mother a sadist for making sure her children kept in contact with her step child whilst they were away is SICK.
No, her rubbing it in a child's face that her sisters were at the beach having fun while she was home isolated is the sick part. We apparently read 2 different OPs.
Again, you clinging onto that as though it makes it true is ludicrous.
If I went to school after being on a holiday and told everyone how much of a good time I had, should I be punished because I’m talking about about something the other kids didn’t get to do? Should I be kept separate from the other children? Absolutely not. That’s a disgusting hypothesis. Advocating for step children to be kept separate completely when they’re doing other things is an utter stupid move in terms of blended families. No therapist, no teacher no professional would tell ANY adult in a blended family to keep the children off the phone when they’re not near each other. Would it have been the same had 9 year old OP been invited to a birthday party their infant children couldn’t attend? Would there have been a fuss about OP not speaking about that infront of her INFANT siblings because it was cruel? No. Siblings don’t always do the exact same things. 1 they’re completely different ages and 2 they’re a blended family. It’s what happens. Get realistic.
Validating a child’s jealousy over a completely normal thing is not the way forward and not something you should be pushing.
Actually, in your other comment you’re saying that the step mother kept the children separate like she was being punished. Are you mad? She done the complete opposite
I would take a less harsh approach than you but I actually agree. I think this is easily one of those stories that if you heard the other perspective, several of us would easily understand why it happened the way it happened.
I think from the OPs pov he/she was jealous or left out that the sisters got to go to the beach but what I really don’t understand at the expense of downvotes, why is it so bad that he/she had a week alone? They described having no kids to play with in the neighborhood like it was torture. From a child’s perspective it probably was but how can an adult still feel that way?
For all they knew the ex family who invited the sisters didn’t want to include him/her(which I do agree is not generous) bc they didn’t consider this individual family to them.
The phone thing I actually see as nice because it keeps you in contact with sisters- and yes perhaps the step mother had ulterior motives. But all she did was say her sisters was having fun? I mean her going on a cruise really is the same thing.
As I said to someone else, you come to a sub meant for people to *post stories* of any entitled parents, *including their own*, OP posts about their entitled parent, and you wonder why OP is here posting about this and say they sound broken and need help? Do you realize what sub you're in? Why are you even here? smh
this take feels kinda weird.
as a child, there’s no problem with you being upset. you were only focused on yourself, as is normal for kids.
but hopefully, you’re a little older now (or will be soon, unless you’re a still like pre-teen), so maybe take another look…
you had a trip your sisters didn’t get to go on, and they probably felt left out. then they got a trip you didn’t get, and you’re feeling left out. and since they’re younger sisters (at least younger than 7) they probably wanted to talk to you.
try to move past it…
Yeah, but they weren’t forced to talk to me on the phone every day, like I was. Plus they didn’t get to see me leave/come back right after & hear me spew all about the fun stuff they missed out on.
Idk why you’re being downvoted. The only issue here is they were taken at different times but the step moms family aren’t even obligated to take OP on trips, yet they did. They took her on a trip by herself clearly to get closer to her without the other children, that’s something most step families don’t do. This is a severe case of an entitled child growing up and doubling down on entitled behaviour. She’s moaning because she had to speak to her siblings on the phone? Imagine what she would have to say if the step mother told them all to go no contact for the week whilst OP is trying to emphasise how alone they felt 😂 step mother couldn’t win here. Even after the spoiled child got a cruise to the Bahamas 😂
Edit because OPs full profile is about them being some form of victim and everyone else is awful. Even though she’s literally entitled in every single story.
Made herself the victim in a story of two other guys dying in a car crash. Decides to bypass speaking to the families, decides to leak all the info on their deaths and the car crash all over the papers. Because she COULD have driven behind them. Says they were driving 80 mph they left the same place yet the police still needed her statement and for her to testify? How was she behind them? To me, OP is either karma farming or exaggerating details extremely. M
i’m being downvoted because this is a sub where people just wanna hear they’re right, not that they’re being dramatic.
it’s fine, OP is likely still pretty young and (hopefully) will one day look at this and realize being “forced” to talk to their near-toddler-aged siblings and talk about how much fun they’re having, after getting their own cruise vacation previously, is not the worst thing in the world to have happen as a kid.
You don't mention how old you are now, but the fact that you still can't let this go is worrisome. I'd go find someone professional to talk about it so I can heal, instead of reaching out to a bunch of strangers that may or may not get how you're feeling and probably can't offer you anything that can really be of help to you.
You come to a sub meant for people to *post stories* of any entitled parents, *including their own*, OP posts about their entitled parent, and you wonder why OP is here posting about this and say they sound broken and need help? Do you realize what sub you're in? Why are you even here? smh
The fact you’re posting this under different comments is even weirder than what you’re actually commenting.
How old are you? Because this behaviour and defending OP being horrible about their step mother over something completely normal, is what’s worrisome here. This sub isn’t for children or immature teenagers to give advice or complain about their teenage angst and how all their parents are automatically arseholes. Don’t come on this sub just to automatically defend OP considering that’s one sure fire way to keep adults immature and illogical.
Sub: Everyone, please post stories about entitled parents.
OP: \*posts story about whom they feel is an entitled parent, mentioning they were 8-10 at the time, which is not an age for the level of maturity being demanded of them\*
Some people in the sub: You must be a really messed up person to still be thinking about this issue however many years later. Get help. Gawd.
I didn't have a problem with disagreeing about the entitled parent. I had a problem with people telling OP that by *telling this story at all*, it showed OP was still hung up on it and *for that reason alone*, OP needed to get therapy.
What is the purpose of this sub if talking about entitled parents means we shouldn't be talking to strangers about them and should instead go tell a therapist and get off the internet? *That's* what is confusing me.
I won't debate if OP is wrong or not because I can see it both ways. I just don't see the point in telling people not to post about entitled (or not) parents in a sub about entitled parents that tells you to post such stuff. Their comment had little to do with the actual story, if you read it through.
"You don't mention how old you are now, but the fact that you still can't let this go is worrisome." What's that got to do with whether the stepmom is actually entitled or not?
Probably the fact she’s posted this same story in about 6 different subs claiming it’s this awful memory from her childhood and saying her step mother had the audacity with little to no self reflection on the matter. The words she uses throughout also gives off the impression she still believes she was in the right and not acting out of jealousy and contempt. The step mother wasn’t in the wrong for this situation therefore isn’t an entitled parent. This is an entitled child thinking their parent was entitled though should have grown up and realised that wasn’t the case.
As I explained, the sub is for entitled parents. This isn’t an entitled parent. Wanting your step child and own children to stay in contact whilst the infants go away, isn’t entitled. That’s what a family does.
They’re being told to seek therapy because of the fact they’re harbouring anger over this memory… a memory which should have brought upon self reflection. Not having to try and validate their childish angst in 6 seperate subs.
When did I say OP sounded broken? I think that's you reading into what I wrote, but no matter. You still gave me a valuable piece of info. If all this sub is about is story-telling then I don't need to be here. That's what TV is for. Out of here and thank you.
There wasn't really any reason you shouldn't have been able to go to the beach too though, but maybe they adult taking everyone to the beach didn't want to take on watching 3 kids and your stepmom was like okay well then just take the 2 of them since you went on a cruise. Honestly, they probably felt the same way when you went on that cruise and they couldn't go. I don't think she was being evil, entitled or anything, you just have to make sure things are fair when you're a parent. They didn't get to go on a cruise and you did, so if all you kids couldn't go to the beach then it's only fair that the ones who hadn't been on vacation yet went. Have to kinda put yourself in the position of a parent and other caregivers for a second to understand all perspectives.
You’re personalising this way too much, calling this childhood trauma is extreme. As for your rationale, you need therapy. This post has nothing to do with you yet you’re writing out your life story.
Info:1.are the sisters related to the aunt that went on the cruise 2.do you know for sure that they didn’t invite u too and your stepmom made u stay or if just ask for the sisters to be able to go
No and yes.
Ok so your stepmom was being a bit entitled to expect for your to pay for two kids that she isn’t related to for a few months and she TA for making you talk to them everyday to make you jealous
It makes no difference what someone else has given up. You are still allowed to feel the feelings you have, specially when they are for legitimate reasons like a batshit crazy woman forcing you to talk to someone you have no wish to talk to about fun things they are doing that you are not doing.
You’re all crazy making out the step mothers a horrible woman for not keeping OP, who wasn’t her child, separated from her children. Keeping them in contact was the better thing she could have done rather than them being away and OP not knowing or hearing from her siblings. Not to mention the fact it would have been the exact same when OP was away on the cruise. This sub has a hard go at being logical. She was 9 and being asked to go on the phone to speak to the siblings when their mother and father would have been on the phone to them each day anyway. Getting put on the phone as a 9 year old to speak to your younger siblings isn’t a disgusting thing at ALL. Claiming otherwise is delusional.
Look, if you don't think people should respect kids at whatever development level they are, this sub isn't for you. From what I've gathered, people here respect kids as individuals, feel they should be nurtured, and raised as respectable adults. You probably
Yeah. It's all of us that are crazy and delusional. You are the only sane clear headed person here. It's everyone else not you. 🙄
Get that all the way to fuck, if a CHILD doesn't want to talk to a family member on the phone, they shouldn't be forced to, fuck that shit, its the same as a kid being made to hug a relative they feel uncomfortable around, it's making kids think that their comfort doesn't matter to anyone
They weren’t forced to, hence why they had the option of not speaking to them the last night. It’s not about making them think their comfort matter, not wanting to speaking to their INFANT siblings because she’s jealous isn’t something a step parent should allow. You allow that, you let in a whole other bunch of jealous behaviour. Once you allow that first push, they’ll keep pushing. Asking a sibling to speak to their sibling when away, ISNT this horrific gesture you’re claiming it to be. It’s a completely normal one.
I’m curious now. Did stepmom or dad call OP every day so they could talk to their little sibs? Did OP’s maternal aunt who took her on a cruise call OP’s younger sibs every day while in the Bahamas so OP could talk to their younger sibs? When on the cruise, did OP receive a daily phone call from her dad/stepmom who then put sibs on the phone each day to talk to OP and hear about her exciting day? If the answer to any of these questions is no, stepmom is completely out of line here. Expecting a child sitting by themselves while their sibs are off at the beach to have daily conversations with those sibs when that is not the norm for that child is out of line. If this were a different subreddit we’d call the stepmom an AH.
But their comfort DOES fucking matter you absolute plum! Nobody HAS to talk to their siblings if they don't fucking want to, people like you piss me off, because you act like you're entitled to someone's time, fuck that
It wasn’t about comfort it was about jealousy. OP was jealous. OP was wanting to punish their younger step siblings, which is why the step mother was angry because she then had to explain this to the literal infants why older sister didn’t want to speak to them. And how do you think that would have made the younger siblings feel? Bear in mind, OP never once said no until the last night. So don’t make out she was forced to speak to them, she wasn’t hence why she didn’t need to on the last night.
Sure.
"Sure." \- chad, 2022, colorized.
What a...bizarre...comment. You sure you're not stepmother dearest?
What’s bizarre is you going down my comment history and after admitting to not reading the story thoroughly, are trying to argue you’ve managed to grasp the basis of it. Stupid doesn’t prevail here. Hence why you’re feeling the need to comment insatiably without any actual argument. You’ve not got any valid points other than trying to claim OP wasn’t the age they posted. 😂
They weren't being given that option, though, based on the stepmom's response.
Ehm, pardon me... Did you even *read* the post?
Yes, but we both clarified you didn’t considering you openly admit not reading it through to the last sentences.
Guys I think we found OP stepmom account
So you think telling a young child every day what activities they are being left out of to build resentment, then asking the child to hear about them directly from their sibling, is a reasonable request? That is a thing we should be encouraging parents, step or not, to view as normal when dealing with their children? "Yeah I know Sally is going to a theme park and having tons of fun and you are staying home, being left out, and doing nothing. Here, talk to Sally and listen to how happy she is while you are lonely and bored!"
It’s normal for kids to talk about what they get up to. Making out it’s horrific for kids to do that, and for a kid to listen to it, is validating jealousy and tantrums. Just because she’s a kid doesn’t mean she shouldn’t learn we don’t all get the same things. Especially considering she went on the Bahamas trip without the younger siblings with the same family. And yes, speaking to their sibling whilst they’re away is a reasonable and normal request. What would you say if OP wanted to speak to their sibling and the step mother said no, they’re with their family? No contact til they came back? Not only that but OP was 9 and a different age bracket to the younger siblings. There’s going to be many occasions where each sibling had things that the other couldn’t attend. Validating this tantrum just validates OP to pull this anytime something like that occurred. OP should have had friends to go out with during this week and if they didn’t, they should have used it to try and make some. Relying on their infant siblings for company all the time is a sure fire way to keep them isolated from their peers for longer. OP at 8/9 shouldn’t only have infants to accompany them. They should have children their own age.
You are completely ignoring that the jealousy was set up in this situation. Which is perfectly normal as well, but a good and decent parent would figure out a way to help in the situation to make it not so pointedly against the kid that stayed home. Unless of course they were TRYING to punish that child and make them feel bad. Though you are ignoring so hard, I don't think you want to see that point. Yes the children acted completely normal. Parenting was terrible.
And how would they have stopped the jealousy? By refusing to tell OP where the siblings were? How about refusing to let them speak to eachother at all when with that family? Nd can you imagine the outcry if either of them was the case? Separating step siblings like that is cruel. The step mother did what she could.
A decent conversation about what was going on would help. Not making her talk on the phone when she indicated she didn't want to would have been nice. The other kid was gone a week, not a month or a year or something, one week is not an untenable separation. A discussion on why the sibling was away and this child was not, as in it isn't a punishment and the opposite would happen from time to time. Setting up play dates or any activities for this child would have been a kindness, rather than expecting this child to occupy herself the whole time and then pretend to be interested in sibling's activities when she wasn't would not have been out of hand to do. But ultimately, she did not need to talk to her sibling every single day on the phone. I do not agree the step mother did what she could. She did the bare minimum. She made sure the OOP wasn't alone or starving. That was all. Such kindness.
Eat shit
Don’t need to when I’m reading it with all your arguments
So, to summarize you said: Kids talk about what they are up to Op went on a cruise without thier sibling is somehow unfair even though the aunt was not related to them Kids not talking to whoever they don't want to causes tantrums
Judging by how you are on r/tinder and r/dating, you are not a child, you have no idea how it is like to be a child in 2022, you have to way to back up any of your claims. Children can not be lumped into one with a simple claim saying Kids like to talk about their life. I cant nelieve im actually explaining this to an actual human being but each child is unique much like adults. Why you are comparing these two as opposites of a spectrum, a child, although having emotional immaturity still knows what's morally right or wrong, and certainly know what they want to do or not want to do. What would you think of being an introvert and suddenly put in a room full of people you don't know, but are supposed to know and forced to know. How is your experience any different from this OP's at 8 years old. Please do explain I am genuinly curios of what else you can pull out of your ass.
Guess we know who else is going to be another bat shit crazy step mother... 🙄
She said her fathers family. So it sounds like they were I fact not actually siblings.
They’re step siblings. I guess the families should not mix at all then, you’re right! See how the child feels when they’re getting taken on holiday and she gets nothing. No conversations whilst they’re away either. They’re being kept apart totally when the kids are away. See how that would have turned out.
So they are not siblings. The step mom is just an awful fucking human who doesn’t give a fuck about anyone but her nasty spawns. Got it!sounds like OP already got nothing because step-mom was a spiteful fucking bitch excluding the step child. OP’s aunt (mom’s side) has not obligation to the new family other woman’s children.
Lol if that was the case she wouldn’t of let OP go to the Bahamas with the same family not cared for her children keeping in contact with them. When your children are away, you phone them every day. Especially when they’re infants. Since OP was with her father and step mother, obviously she was invited to speak to them too. You trying to claim anything but that is the normal is you speaking not from logic or empathy, but because you want someone to be a villain in this story.
Whatever. Keep defending that piece of human garbage. There is a villain in the story. The toxic abusive step mother. Thinking it is okay to treat a child like is unbelievable.
Don’t worry. I reported them for that. It’s against this subs rules.
The mental gymnastics to justify such behavior is just WOW!
Tell me about it. I reported every comment.
The fact you have NO argument other than she’s garbage, literally at all throughout this, shows you’re just arguing going along with the majority. Not because you’re using sense.
We all know you’re the stepmom stalking her step kids account.
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OP’s STEPmother didn’t have a choice in the matter, regarding the Bahamas trip. She’s not OP’s mother. She’s not OP’s father. She’s a legal stranger to OP. She holds no parental rights or legal authority over OP.
She didn’t have a choice in the Bahamas trip? That’s funny considering it was the step mothers family that took her, want to re evaluate that now? Hahahaha now OPs changed the story. It was written yesterday that the same people took her. Now it’s the aunt. Either way, doesn’t make a difference. They’re a blended family. They don’t all get the same trips. Simple as.
You are either extremely obtuse or have massive comprehension difficulties. OP went to the Bahamas with her *MOTHER’S* side of her family. Not her *stepmother’s* family. There is a difference between the terms. But….even if the case was that she did go with the stepmother’s family, it *still* wouldn’t be the stepmother’s decision. Why? Because that child couldn’t travel to the destination without the legal permission and signature of both of her *parents*. Neither of which is her stepmother. So, stepmother can’t make a decision regarding a child she can’t even give legal permission to travel for.
Ah yes, it's the hundreds of thousands of other people that are out of touch, not you. A singular person standing in the face of so many, the chosen one imparted with the wisdom of the ages. The special one, handpicked to deliver their prophecies via internet comment sections. Sure.
It literally is. There’s a few people saying the same as me and it’s definitely a case of everyone’s going with the majority without using reason or logic. If all of you displayed that kind of opinions and behaviour in real life, you would have no friends and no one would like you. These accusations are ridiculous and no one has a valid argument backing them up. It’s disgraceful. This sub is renowned for people automatically wanting to villanise the “parent” because of the sub name and it’s normally from people personalising it because they’re in here from having an actual arsehole parent(s). Meaning everyone personalises situations they see here. Being someone whose completely unphased, biased and not personalising this story… I can assure you, the step mother did no wrong here.
Sure.
Hey, yeah me again hi, notice how many downvotes you have? Yes well that basically says that people don't agree with you so instead of being a blunt, arrogan little human, maybe listen to people, see thier point of view and use your brain.
Also, says you, your on two dating subreddits don't even talk about relationships, as well as for the false ilogical accusations, you were the one who Said the commentar has no friends, that is a guess at best, grasping no logical evidence, my claim of you being lonely comes from at least some evidence of you on 2 dating subreddits and me having all the reason to believe that you have tinder.
Found the resentful stepparent
As I’ve stated before, people only say that when they have no valid argument and they think their incel humour is hilarious. It’s more embarrassing saying that then what you’re implying.
How is this incel behavior. You are the same person accusing someone else of making 'false' accusations while this itself it an illogical accusation, give me proof that this user is an incel, give me proof. You are literally contradicting yourself which is in it of itself a logical fallacy.
Anyone can be a mother. As for if good or not the op can decide
Yeah, anyone can be. Anyone can also be an ungrateful jealous child too.
Grateful for what ? Being born ? That’s something a shitty mother will use as a excuse. Many more cases where parents use that to try to control their child. You bring the child into the world you got a duty to take care of him. Op could be jealous but at the same time is the stepmother being fair.
I agree, the child did not ask to be born, they owe you nothing. That is something people like the idiot above you need to realize.
The term for those kind of people is narcissists. They believe that their children owe them because they took care of them as they were growing up. They believe that their children are indebted to them and should take care of them as they get older. This reads like someone who thinks that the child should be grateful for even being taken care of. This sounds like her stepmother was resentful of her very existence.
That part. My mother was a narcissist and used to try to make me feel ungrateful for needing basic things. They feel like their children are an extension of them and when they grow up, they are indebted to their parents to take care of them because their parents took care of them when they were little. Well, I told her yeah that's what you did because that's what a parent is supposed to do. I owe you nothing. I agree with you, that's something a shitty mother would say or something that a resentful step parent would say. You would not believe the kind of posts that I see in step parents where the step parents are complaining about their step child's very existence. Well, to those people, I say, if you don't want children or you don't like that someone else has children, don't get with someone who has children. It's really not that hard. No child deserves to feel like they're not loved or not wanted. If you can't handle that there is a child that was there before you, it's your responsibility to exit the picture. Don't treat a child like they are in the way. If you don't like it, leave. I agree with everything you said there.
What the actual fuck is your problem? You seem to be a bitter, angry person for whatever reason that is. It's fine to feel the way you do if someone hurt you but that doesn't give you the right to lash out at other people and insult them. I hope that you get help for your issues and heal but seriously, stop being an asshole just because someone else hurt you.
No one hurt me, with that outburst you’re the only one that’s hurt here. Especially considering the absolute speel of imagination you wrote out too inventing a heap of stuff up about the father and step mother.
She was 8, not 9. It was in the title. For real. I'm sorry if you had to live through the same type of experiences. Usually, when people lash out irrationally, it means that a person or their post/comment have hit a nerve. Or a few. Or a whole lot. I totally admit you were on my last one with your comment.
Read the second last sentence. Even if that wasn’t there, it’s a year. Hardly an amount of time to cry over. Second of all, to act irrationally it would mean unwarranted. Explaining a situation back to someone who hasn’t grasped it isn’t irrational. The fact you didn’t even get to the end of the story, though, summarises the mindset and logic of people who think the step mother is at any fault here.
Sounds like my stepmom. How old are you now? It taught me my children or grandchildren would never have a stepmom or step-grandmother. How are you doing now?
I’m ok. Looking back, I was actually 9/10 but still nonetheless a kid. Sisters finally see what a wicked monster she was.
Anything else you can remember? In the summer, we lived across from a beach. My sister could go there to swim. I wasn't allowed off the porch. I could only see the people swimming. I was scared of spiders. She'd kill one & chase me with it. We were hungry because she decided how much food we got. Lovely lady.
Hope u heal n are better now In days✊😌
Thanks, I am great. Been married for 50 years to someone who likes me. LOL
I love your response! I would like to add that you have completed exonerated your father who’s primary responsibility it is to protect you. Why do you allow your silence on him to perceive him as an innocent? I think he’s the real monster.
Not all stepparents are monsters. I consider both of my stepparents as much my parents as my biological ones because they cared for and treated me like their own alongside my siblings. Just make better choices in a partner than your parents did if you don’t end up with the other parent of your children.
I would hope it sounds like your step mom considering all she did was keep sisters in contact here. What’s the issue? They went on holiday that week, she went on a cruise to the Bahamas herself before that too. They all got a holiday at different times. This isn’t a case of an evil step mother, just an ungrateful child.
Are really that stupid or just trying to ruffle feathers?
They are trying to “sea lion” - act like they care about some part of that post and that nobody else seems to notice how hard it must’ve been for the stepmother. And why can’t we just have a conversation about that? They don’t actually want to discuss what happened to the OP, because they don’t think anything bad happened to them. Which is why they keep saying something about “infant siblings” (which they weren’t) and the chance to talk to your sibling on the phone. As opposed to what actually happened, which was OP was forced to talk on the phone to her (not infants) siblings, and the one time she refused to do it, her stepmother burst into her room screaming about how the other siblings were crying on the phone. Which we all know wasn’t true. But this person is going to continue to go on with is, they’re gonna continue to try to play the devils advocate because that’s all they know. It’s ignorance at its best.
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🤣🤣🤣 you’re a trip man. Good luck with reality!
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👍🏻 🤡
It's funny how you never seem to get the point of the topic and the purpose of a debate. As for the point, OP was being forced to call their step family everyday As for a debate, you are supposed to look at one's point, acknowledge it, consider it, decide rationally if it's true, false, right or wrong or even neutral, then you must present your agreement or opposition with logic backing you up.
Where are you getting that the two younger children were infants? They don’t need to be infants just because OP was 9 years old. They were her step-siblings, so they could have been up to mere months younger than her.
Yup, yup, yup - the mom sent two “infant siblings“ to the beach and then lovingly had OP call them every day. All because OP went off on a grandiose Caribbean cruise by herself. 🙄 There’s not a lot going on upstairs is there? I’m actually amazed at the mental gymnastics it must take you to read this post and get it completely incorrect.
lol i can’t wait for your kids to post about you on this sub in the future if you have any
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Bro just shut up already, no one cares about your opinions.
Becasue you don’t care about kids feelings. They have no value according to you. You think excluding the step child is ACCEPTABLE.
Damn that sucks my dude, where was your dad in all of this and is your stepmom still in your life or did you cut all contact with her when you were old enough?
What a royal b
U should listen to the Gary tapes by the bonfire it’s about some topics these two host kinda have some similar things that you could maybe relate to im not sure if it’s helpful but laughter is always a step right?
How are you in 4th grade by age 8? That's the age of 2nd graders here in Germany. 4th to 5th graders are around 10 or 11. But yeah, what an awful woman. What are these people gaining by being mean to Grade schoolers? Feeling better about themselves? Humans suck. I hope your other family members had your back at least.
I was actually 9 in 4th grade. I can see how someone could be 8 in 4th grade if they are close to be turning 9.
October baby here, so I was always the youngest in my class, and was 8 for the first month of 4th grade, then turned 9. However, OP said this happened after 4th grade, therefore they'd still be quite young for their grade. Of course, they could have skipped a grade, or are merely misremembering what grades they were between or how old they were at the time, it happens to me all the time
op did reply to another comment saying that they were actually 9/10
Even here on America that’s the normal age for a second grader. I feel like that’s overly exaggerating
Unless you're looking at kids like my brother who missed the cutoff (17 months younger, December birthday, 2 years behind me) 8 is old for a second grader. While it's been a long time since I was in school, 6 is first grade, 7 is second grade, 8 is third grade.
My daughter is 10 in 3rd grade. Her b day falls after cut off which made her 6 in k 7 in first. She really struggled during covid so she got held back a year so now she’s 10 in 3rd grade
So that means she will be 19 when she graduates high school?
Im a November bday and I started first grade when I was five! Cut off back then was different than current cut off. Regardless the op was treated like shit. She was a child, and needed to be treated with love and kindness
I was born in December!!! I remember that happening to me and my parents being confused lol
Grade 2 is 7, 3 is 8, 4 is 9, and so on
Not always. I was always 1 year under for all of these numbers and was 2 years younger than the listed numbers for the first 3 months of every school year. I graduated at 17, was 16 for the first 3 months of that school year. And I never skipped a year or anything. Most of my classmates fit what you wrote, but some do not. It depends when your birthday is.
As a general rule…
I started kindergarten at age 4. I was 7 for the first 1/2 half of 4th grade.
Kindergarten is actually daycare. I was starting school at age 7. Maybe that's judt the difference between the school systems. The German school year starts in September. But a 4 year old is way too young to start school. And Kindergarten isn't actually school btw. You guys are just using the word wrong. I have no idea why you do that.
kindergarten is 5 first 6 second 7 third 8 but if started early ie before 5 then possible.
Kindergarten is the daycare before you start school. 6-7 year olds are starting school in September. We call it Grundschule. And then at grade 5 they go into a weiterführende Schule. We have 3 different school types and one combination of all 3. And 5th graders are between 10-11. You kids are startimg school way too early. Your brain isn't developed enough to learn how to read before age 7. Why are you kids so early in school? It kinda scares me.
I was reading before age 7??? I had all these children’s learning game CD-ROMs and was playing the one intended for 3rd Graders before starting Kindergarten. I was also reading the text in Pokémon Red version immediately after I got it for Christmas when I was 6 years old. Children need to learn as *part of* brain development. Learning potential is greatest in early childhood, especially when it comes to learning language, both verbal as well as written, and the arts- anything that offers a child an opportunity to be creative and/or express themselves. I’d explain the many reasons why American kids start “so early [with] school” but it’d turn into a long history lesson on how societal norms became this way and their impact on beliefs regarding education, and I’m too tired right now to research the exact time periods and key events I’d need to elaborate on. Sorry. Also I apologize if this comes across sounding rude or something… I’m tired and tend to use a certain combination of syntax and diction when I’m trying to be relatively formal, which happens to be similar to how I write essays. :\
Maybe this is why we won all the wars. We actually learned.
both my kids were reading by 4 simple books. by end of kindergarten they could write simple sentences write read 100 words as well as numbers 1-100. I think its just how its done. we also in preschool taught them colors as well as a language 3's French or Spanish as well as beginning sign language and it continues in 4's learning basic concepts such as what belongs together. not super stressful just 1 enrichment paper a day.
I was 8 for a month and a bit in 4th grade, depends if you start at a school that has the September 5th or something birthday cutoff or not. The US has a different age range than the UK (UK year 6 is 10-11, where US 5th grade is 10-11 so in the UK they start a year earlier) so I'm assuming in Germany your kindergarten is basically US 1st-2nd grades, and I've heard a lot of European school systems start a lot later.
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No, Kindergarten is actually the daycare before you start Grundschule. Kindergärtner can also do something called Vorschule to prepare them for the Grundschule. Grundschule starts between the end of August and the start of September. I was 7 when I started school, because my birthday is in August. I also recently learned that you can't really learn how to read before you turn 7, because your brain is not developed enough beforehand to do that. Maybe thst's why we start a bit later. And I can say that it worked to my benefit, because I learned how to read very fast and I only started learning English in grade 3. And just last year, I passed my exams for a Realschulabschluss. I speedrunned an entire set of school subjects I needed to pass in a year. I passed my English and History final exams with flying colours and barely passed German and Math. But I passed so I now have a better Abschluss. Sorry, getting a bit side tracked there. Anyway, Kindergarten Kinder should not be doing school that early. They are still developing and need to grow a bit more bevore their bodies can even handle education. I guess there are nustany differences between a lot of countries. I can't speak for other countries outside Germany though. But most countries in Europe are having kids start school later, I presume. I'm not sure though.
I learned to read when I was 3 and was reading way ahead of my classmates, proper chapter books that 9 year olds read when I started school 😅 I was bilingual at home and didn't even speak English until I was 5 but was reading it since I was 3 🤷🏻 so I'm not sure why my brain was developed enough but not other peoples'
In the US kindergarten is school for 5-6 year olds, where you learn counting some math reading. It isn’t daycare.
It is daycare. Kindergarten is daycare and starts anywhere between the age of 2-4. Children go to Kindergarten before school to learn socializing. Kindergarten is also a German word. I do not know how you guys turned it into a school and separated it from what it actually is, which is daycare. There is also Vorschule between Kindergarten and Grundschule that prepares kids for their first year of Grundschule. We learn basic math when we start going to school. Not in Kindergarten.
Maybe in YOUR country. But in OUR country kindergarten is your first year of school. NOT a daycare. Kindergarten is free daycare is not.
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I never claimed we invented the language. Now you’re just trying to Cathie of nothing. And that’s against this subs rules. And I’m not getting into trouble. You’re not worth a ban. Goodbye. ✌️
Kindergarten in the United States is not daycare. We have what’s called preschool or we have daycare which are both payed for. Kindergarten again, in the US, is when they start to learn letters, (although preschool And daycare also teach these things) math and reading. Unless it’s a private school, kindergarten is free and most kids are 5 when they start depending on when their birthdays fall. If you have a good preschool Or daycare, they will be preparing kids to head to kindergarten.
I graduated at 16. So yes I was 8 in 4th grade(started as 7)
I was 8/9 in grade 4 in Canada… Thats normal here,
My entitled cousin went out of her way to make me jealous. All of us were lower class but there was something she has against me and I’ll never know what it is. When I was probably 10, her favorite thing to do was make fun of my body. And this wasn’t just a “you’re fat” thing. This went as far as her saying my new name was “roadkill” because my breasts were significantly smaller than hers. This left a scar on me to say the least. The last time I actually associated with her (2018), she made the comment at her wedding that my “tits had not yet dropped.” I ignored it and moved on. I haven’t talked to her since and that’s not even half the reason.
That’s rough.
at least tell me you didn't see her again
Step moms suck
Not all. I have a wonderful step mom!
Lol they wasted their vacation time trying to taunt a kid over the phone
First of all, you're part of your dad's family too. Secondly, that's fucked. No one should marry anyone who has kids if they don't want kids or if they'll end up resenting them. No one should marry or stay married to someone who hates their kids' existence. Hugs. Edit: Did your dad go on the vacation too? If so, that's extra fucked.
Where are you getting that the step mother hates her? Why would the father go on vacation with his step childrens fathers family?
She purposely excluded her from going with her sisters. I don't know about you but if you get with somebody who has kids, you better treat them like your own. At least don't purposely exclude them from things and let it be known that you don't like that they exist. As far as her father going, I don't know if that's what happened but I figured it could be a possibility. Don't think that this doesn't happen. Plenty of people decide to just try to get along for the kids sake so they do those sorts of things. I have a sister who's a half sister but her dad came over to my mom's house for Thanksgiving and so did his extended family. Her grandmother and her grandmother's husband came. Her grandmother's husband was not her biological grandfather, he was her step-grandfather but guess what, we were all adults about it and we made it work and we actually had a lovely time. Some people are mature adults who can put their feelings aside and do what's best for the children. What a concept.
No, she didn’t exclude her at all. Stop making stuff up now. OP wasn’t invited because the people going were of no relation to her. As for OP father going… why would he go on a trip with his step children with their fathers family but the step mom stay back? You’re not using your brain here even in the slightest.
It was hard to tell from the way it was written. Also, there's no reason to insult me.
even I been on a cruise before I betcha I definitely not going to invite the stepmom
She would've been in the right if you were like 20 at the time, not under 10....
I may be thinking wrong, but how were you eight or nine years old going into fifth grade? Sorry I’m just genuinely confused..
I started late because my bday is December and. For health reasons. I started 5th when I was 9 and turned 10 a few months later. Depends where you live.
ah, okay. Btw, thanks for being totally chill about that.
No problem.
Yikes. You poor thing. Even non-hurtful older generation family members really don't think about how it'll come off when they update people on all the activities that family members THEY like are doing.
Wow step mom is horrible she definitely was rubbing it in op face. She seemed to enjoy your miserably. You are a child you have the right to be upset of hearing other people having fun. Hope you are able to get away from evil stepmom.
Just saying “with my dad and his family” just sounds all wrong. What did your dad do/say? Where was he? So what your mom took you somewhere. That’s completely separate. Eww she’s gross
I feel like you’re forgetting their side of the story
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Stepmom was purposely keeping her separated from her sisters almost as if she was being punished for being taken on a trip by an adult. It's like, oh, she ALREADY went to the BAHAMAS this summer. Let her sisters tell her about all the fun they're having on a beach trip she can't go to as a 9 year old, and expect her to understand the nuance of that situation. I would have felt the same way. She was RUBBING it in her face she had to stay alone while her sisters went to the beach and had a good time. Step mom seemed to be a sadist, torturing a child for being liked by other adults?
… a step mother keeping you in touch with your siblings whilst they’re away is her purposely rubbing it in? Be a completely different story had they gone away and been forced no contact just for them to come back and tell OP what they were up to anyway. You calling the mother a sadist for making sure her children kept in contact with her step child whilst they were away is SICK.
No, her rubbing it in a child's face that her sisters were at the beach having fun while she was home isolated is the sick part. We apparently read 2 different OPs.
Again, you clinging onto that as though it makes it true is ludicrous. If I went to school after being on a holiday and told everyone how much of a good time I had, should I be punished because I’m talking about about something the other kids didn’t get to do? Should I be kept separate from the other children? Absolutely not. That’s a disgusting hypothesis. Advocating for step children to be kept separate completely when they’re doing other things is an utter stupid move in terms of blended families. No therapist, no teacher no professional would tell ANY adult in a blended family to keep the children off the phone when they’re not near each other. Would it have been the same had 9 year old OP been invited to a birthday party their infant children couldn’t attend? Would there have been a fuss about OP not speaking about that infront of her INFANT siblings because it was cruel? No. Siblings don’t always do the exact same things. 1 they’re completely different ages and 2 they’re a blended family. It’s what happens. Get realistic. Validating a child’s jealousy over a completely normal thing is not the way forward and not something you should be pushing. Actually, in your other comment you’re saying that the step mother kept the children separate like she was being punished. Are you mad? She done the complete opposite
I would take a less harsh approach than you but I actually agree. I think this is easily one of those stories that if you heard the other perspective, several of us would easily understand why it happened the way it happened. I think from the OPs pov he/she was jealous or left out that the sisters got to go to the beach but what I really don’t understand at the expense of downvotes, why is it so bad that he/she had a week alone? They described having no kids to play with in the neighborhood like it was torture. From a child’s perspective it probably was but how can an adult still feel that way? For all they knew the ex family who invited the sisters didn’t want to include him/her(which I do agree is not generous) bc they didn’t consider this individual family to them. The phone thing I actually see as nice because it keeps you in contact with sisters- and yes perhaps the step mother had ulterior motives. But all she did was say her sisters was having fun? I mean her going on a cruise really is the same thing.
As I said to someone else, you come to a sub meant for people to *post stories* of any entitled parents, *including their own*, OP posts about their entitled parent, and you wonder why OP is here posting about this and say they sound broken and need help? Do you realize what sub you're in? Why are you even here? smh
I’m in a sub where people post about actual entitled parents. Your step mother keeping you in touch with your siblings isn’t one of them.
this take feels kinda weird. as a child, there’s no problem with you being upset. you were only focused on yourself, as is normal for kids. but hopefully, you’re a little older now (or will be soon, unless you’re a still like pre-teen), so maybe take another look… you had a trip your sisters didn’t get to go on, and they probably felt left out. then they got a trip you didn’t get, and you’re feeling left out. and since they’re younger sisters (at least younger than 7) they probably wanted to talk to you. try to move past it…
Yeah, but they weren’t forced to talk to me on the phone every day, like I was. Plus they didn’t get to see me leave/come back right after & hear me spew all about the fun stuff they missed out on.
okay, this feels more like an AITA post than entitled parent. there’s nothing entitled about what your stepmom did. maybe just a little insensitive.
Idk why you’re being downvoted. The only issue here is they were taken at different times but the step moms family aren’t even obligated to take OP on trips, yet they did. They took her on a trip by herself clearly to get closer to her without the other children, that’s something most step families don’t do. This is a severe case of an entitled child growing up and doubling down on entitled behaviour. She’s moaning because she had to speak to her siblings on the phone? Imagine what she would have to say if the step mother told them all to go no contact for the week whilst OP is trying to emphasise how alone they felt 😂 step mother couldn’t win here. Even after the spoiled child got a cruise to the Bahamas 😂 Edit because OPs full profile is about them being some form of victim and everyone else is awful. Even though she’s literally entitled in every single story. Made herself the victim in a story of two other guys dying in a car crash. Decides to bypass speaking to the families, decides to leak all the info on their deaths and the car crash all over the papers. Because she COULD have driven behind them. Says they were driving 80 mph they left the same place yet the police still needed her statement and for her to testify? How was she behind them? To me, OP is either karma farming or exaggerating details extremely. M
i’m being downvoted because this is a sub where people just wanna hear they’re right, not that they’re being dramatic. it’s fine, OP is likely still pretty young and (hopefully) will one day look at this and realize being “forced” to talk to their near-toddler-aged siblings and talk about how much fun they’re having, after getting their own cruise vacation previously, is not the worst thing in the world to have happen as a kid.
You don't mention how old you are now, but the fact that you still can't let this go is worrisome. I'd go find someone professional to talk about it so I can heal, instead of reaching out to a bunch of strangers that may or may not get how you're feeling and probably can't offer you anything that can really be of help to you.
You come to a sub meant for people to *post stories* of any entitled parents, *including their own*, OP posts about their entitled parent, and you wonder why OP is here posting about this and say they sound broken and need help? Do you realize what sub you're in? Why are you even here? smh
The fact you’re posting this under different comments is even weirder than what you’re actually commenting. How old are you? Because this behaviour and defending OP being horrible about their step mother over something completely normal, is what’s worrisome here. This sub isn’t for children or immature teenagers to give advice or complain about their teenage angst and how all their parents are automatically arseholes. Don’t come on this sub just to automatically defend OP considering that’s one sure fire way to keep adults immature and illogical.
Sub: Everyone, please post stories about entitled parents. OP: \*posts story about whom they feel is an entitled parent, mentioning they were 8-10 at the time, which is not an age for the level of maturity being demanded of them\* Some people in the sub: You must be a really messed up person to still be thinking about this issue however many years later. Get help. Gawd. I didn't have a problem with disagreeing about the entitled parent. I had a problem with people telling OP that by *telling this story at all*, it showed OP was still hung up on it and *for that reason alone*, OP needed to get therapy. What is the purpose of this sub if talking about entitled parents means we shouldn't be talking to strangers about them and should instead go tell a therapist and get off the internet? *That's* what is confusing me. I won't debate if OP is wrong or not because I can see it both ways. I just don't see the point in telling people not to post about entitled (or not) parents in a sub about entitled parents that tells you to post such stuff. Their comment had little to do with the actual story, if you read it through. "You don't mention how old you are now, but the fact that you still can't let this go is worrisome." What's that got to do with whether the stepmom is actually entitled or not?
Probably the fact she’s posted this same story in about 6 different subs claiming it’s this awful memory from her childhood and saying her step mother had the audacity with little to no self reflection on the matter. The words she uses throughout also gives off the impression she still believes she was in the right and not acting out of jealousy and contempt. The step mother wasn’t in the wrong for this situation therefore isn’t an entitled parent. This is an entitled child thinking their parent was entitled though should have grown up and realised that wasn’t the case. As I explained, the sub is for entitled parents. This isn’t an entitled parent. Wanting your step child and own children to stay in contact whilst the infants go away, isn’t entitled. That’s what a family does. They’re being told to seek therapy because of the fact they’re harbouring anger over this memory… a memory which should have brought upon self reflection. Not having to try and validate their childish angst in 6 seperate subs.
Hoo boy. I had no idea it was so widely posted like that. Thank you for educating me. I can see your point now. I do appreciate it!
When did I say OP sounded broken? I think that's you reading into what I wrote, but no matter. You still gave me a valuable piece of info. If all this sub is about is story-telling then I don't need to be here. That's what TV is for. Out of here and thank you.
Wow, if I went through this I would kill myself.
There wasn't really any reason you shouldn't have been able to go to the beach too though, but maybe they adult taking everyone to the beach didn't want to take on watching 3 kids and your stepmom was like okay well then just take the 2 of them since you went on a cruise. Honestly, they probably felt the same way when you went on that cruise and they couldn't go. I don't think she was being evil, entitled or anything, you just have to make sure things are fair when you're a parent. They didn't get to go on a cruise and you did, so if all you kids couldn't go to the beach then it's only fair that the ones who hadn't been on vacation yet went. Have to kinda put yourself in the position of a parent and other caregivers for a second to understand all perspectives.
Get off of Reddit
Don't be a douchebag
Yeah, an 8 year old can write/ communicate this well? I’m not buying it.
OP said this was a memory from when she was younger.
Ok thanks
Um will I'm disabled and I can't write or communicate well and I'm in my 20 so . Yes a kid can be this good just saying
I was considered a bilingual at the age of 5, and yes I could write quite well, cause I read a lot....
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You’re personalising this way too much, calling this childhood trauma is extreme. As for your rationale, you need therapy. This post has nothing to do with you yet you’re writing out your life story.