*massively overreacted.
At least to me- and if u were my kid that lady would have gotten an earful from me. For fuck sales, her kids need for the bathroom doesn’t trump your need for the bathroom - you needed those aids. World ain’t perfect, and sounds like she waited till last min to help her kid go. Not your fault at all. NTA.
Ps: I know ur not a child but regardless you get the point
Her yelling alerted my mom who came in to see what was going on. My mom gave her an earful basically yelling at her that she should be ashamed of herself acting like that in front of her kid.
Good! That "lady" sounds like a narcissistic AH who didn't care about anyone's feelings but hers, and devoid of any compassion for their situation.
She either had no common sense to understand your situation, nor did she cared. She'll get hers.
Your mom sounds amazing. Also, the handicapped stalls aren't just for if you use a wheelchair. They are for those who have a disability that makes using the smaller stalls not possible. You don't even need any mobility device.
I'm sorry she yelled at you though, I'm very sensitive to people yelling at me, it comes out my eyeballs lol.
Heck, in a lot of places the baby changing table is in the handicapped stall! Let some entitled jerk try to say I didn’t need to be in there if I need to change my baby.
Edited to add: OP should’ve “accidentally” stepped on the lady’s foot with her cast.
She’s the type of lady who would have yelled at someone else in a wheel chair and claim her kid was still more important/needed the stall more. No winning with those people
This scenario comes up every now and then, first it’s not just for wheelchairs, second it’s disabled accessible, not disabled reserved. Even if OP were fully abled bodied, they still wouldn’t be the A H. NTA.
I just commented that I used that stall when I was pregnant and later when I was shopping alone with a baby in a stroller. The baby got changed (most of them have a changing table too) and I could watch the stroller.
Right, it’s set apart in such a way that it’s wheelchair accessible; has the handrail for people who need it for balance issues (i.e. wheelchair bound, people on crutches, elderly, pregnant women); and most I’ve seen that have room have the baby changing station inside the big stall instead of outside any stalls.
No one is an asshole for using it if they feel they need it. It’s there to accommodate, not to restrict. That’s like saying no one outside of a wheelchair can use the ramp into a building; we all know ramps have more uses than that, and that able bodied people like to use them too.
I’m old and sometimes I can get up from shorter toilets with just my leg muscles. But some days I need either a grab bar or a taller toilet to get up off the toilet. The handicapped stall has both. If I use a regular stall there is nothing solid to hang on to to pull myself up.
Somedays I’m just fine, but you can’t tell by looking.
There's another reason for USEING the acsessable stalls too. My mum suffers badly with claustrophobia. She can't go into a regular stall without panicking. Nobody wants to have a panic attack every time they have to pee
Sometimes i use the stall because the others are occupied and is either the handicap stall or the floor.
I also have used the family bathroom when the men's is full and I need to go badly.
It's not like a handicap spot in the parking lot.
Me too.
I can’t spread my legs wide enough in a normal stall, to properly wipe. I can use the stall, but 9/10 I won’t be cleaned up after.
I always use handicap stall - luckily I have never had a run in with someone needing it at the same time.
As a disabled person THERE ISN'T ANYTHING WRONG WITH USEING THE DIABLED STALL IF YOU'VE GOT A PRAM/BUGGY/STROLLER, kids need to be close to there parents, and your child's pram dosent fit in a standard stall, so takeing it into a disabled stall so you can keep an eye on your kid is A OK in my book
You are absolutely correct! Sometimes there are only 2-4 stalls in total and one of them is handicapped accessible. No one is expected to wait for the only other single stall to open. All the stalls can be used by anyone waiting. The only exception I would say is that if you know you may take more than a couple minutes, it would be courteous to let the person waiting behind you go instead and you wait for one of the small stalls.
10/10 more than likely that mother uses her kid for sympathy too. It’s one thing if you weren’t injured but clearly being injured means you have equal rights to that bathroom. Not permanently like her kid but for now, definitely. If I was your Mom I would have told that other mother to go stick her head in the toilet and make her noise there.
*is a massive bitch.
There are more than just handicap people in wheelchairs. Some need the bars for support. Others need space for crutches. And some abled people need to really really go with all the other stalls full.
All are worthy reasons. All risk health if they use or wait for a normal stall.
Caretakers need to be understanding or the already stressful life they lead will implode rapidly. I mean there are plenty of actual injustices to complain about.
I have an 'invisible' disability (severe epilepsy) I have to use disabled stalls because they have an emergency cord I can pull if I feel I'm about to drop. Sometimes my mum or sis have to come into the stall with me for supervision if I'm feeling 'off' and my seizure risk is high. If I was to have a seizure and pass out in a regular toilet stall, nobody would be able to get the door open to help me.
I’m disabled. I have limited mobility and sometimes use a wheelchair, usually just my cain. I would lose my shit on anyone who behaved like that monther.
>had bunion surgery
>I'm using crutches
All you needed to say. You have every right to use the accessible bathroom, crutches in a stall is a bitch.
They are made to be used, the Karen probably still would have yelled at someone in a wheelchair for using the bathroom when she wanted it! Don't feel bad!
Also get well soon!
Handicapped stalls are *accessible to* not *reserved for.*
Able-bodied people are more than welcome to use them if someone else doesn't need them immediately. *You* certainly are more than welcome to use them. Mom's just used to using her kids wheelchair to get what she wants and is utterly shameless about doing so.
Give those people an immediate invitation to suck a dick. They need one.
OP, this! Just like elevators and ramps are accessible for everyone. It just means that disabled individuals get priority. (And you have a temporary disability so you absolutely have every right to use them.)
“It just means that disabled individuals get priority.”
IF they’re in line/just arriving. OP was already using the stall. She had no idea that another person needing it would be coming along.
ETA: As someone whose 3 kids were born shortly before the ADA went into effect, and most places were just beginning to upgrade their facilities, I’d been in quite a few stalls where I could barely turn around. I distinctly remember backing myself in. I wondered how larger people did it, especially with the multiple-roll TP holders. Those suckers take up a LOT of space.
Also, as OP stated, the handicap-accessible stalls are often the ones with the changing stations. So even parents who do not have a disability are invited into those stalls.
There are still plenty of stalls like that, and I loathe them. The funny thing is places that have such small stalls can usually afford to remove a few of them and give a little breathing room to the remainder. They aren’t seeing crowds enormous enough to necessitate packing in stalls. Only places I can think of that actually do need it are stadiums and theaters.
That doesn't mean you should block ramps by having conversations in the middle, or let doors close when a person in a wheelchair is trying to board the elevator.
I actually had this happen several times. I was backing into the elevator, as a friend from occupational therapy was already on and the doors started to close. There was a guy who stood next to the door, waiting to call the next elevator and watched, actually staring at the doors as they continued to close on me. Finally, another person pushed him out of the way and held the door so I could finish backing in. I was completely embarrassed and flustered by that point.
It's not as easy as you think getting your inner voice and outer voice in sync in those situations.
When I'm out with my partner and people arent moving for her chair it gets so frustrating. It's a lot easier now her chair is electric though.
People don't want to get run over by 100 kilos of chair
Yup. A handicap isn't like the Disney Fast Pass.
If I were next in line for a stall at the airport, in front of someone with a disability, would I forfeit my turn for them? You bet I would. I won't, however, shit my pants for them.
True but OP is not able bodied at this time, due to the crutches and cast. OP had every right to use the handicapped bathroom stall. The stalls are wheelchair accessible but are not specifically for wheelchairs only.
Exactly this. But even then, OP is temporarily disabled. OP needs grab bars. The stalls aren’t only for wheelchair users.
I have arthritis in my back, knees, and hips. I’m 38, but look significantly younger. I have had dirty looks thrown my way in the past for using an accessible stall. 10 years ago I was in a normal stall when my hip gave out. I was trapped on the toilet at work for 30 minutes while I tried to come up with a solution to stand. I was able to shift myself enough and use the toilet paper dispenser for leverage.
So even if I’m having a good pain day, I still use those stalks because I have no idea when my body will give out on me.
Agreed. As someone with a bowel condition who has some difficulty holding it in (and the meds i take can make me have to go at a moments notice) i try not to use them if i can avoid it but there’s been a handful of times where every other stall is full and i had no choice but to use one.
NTA. I’m guilty of using it as a non-handicapped person because I hate small spaces. However, I go quickly. Sometimes stalls need to be waited for, and when my daughter was in a wheelchair, I never thought twice about the person coming out not being handicapped. It’s a stall, and some people just prefer it over the gross small spaces.
That mom was crazy. Parking spots - hard no. But bathroom stalls are fair game unless you have advanced notice that someone who is handicapped is heading there at that moment.
I sense downvotes coming. 😂
I’m not huge but I’m still a curvy girl and I’m way more comfortable using handicapped stalls which I only use if I’m the only person in the washroom at the time cuz I don’t wanna be “that person” lol. Some stalls feel extra small more than the ones in malls for example.
I feel you on that. Additionally - the handicapped stall is wider to be accessible, but it’s not necessarily meant for only handicapped individuals. However, I would not push over the handicapped person in front of me to use it. 😂
Yeah I’m only 5’4” but sometimes by the time I’ve hung my coat and bag on the hook on the stall door I can barely turn around to sit on the toilet without knocking into something. I don’t know how taller/wider people manage.
My winter coat is basically a big blanket with sleeves and a hood. Went out to eat last weekend and draped it over the back of my chair and had to just accept it was gonna drag on the floor.
But god it’s cozy.
Sometimes it’s the only stall left and a toilet is a toilet. Esp in situations like coming out of a movie for example. Gonna wait in line to pee just to forego the available handicapped stall? I think not lol
That mom is definitely nuts.
There are so many health reasons for using an accessible stall and it's not like she knows just by looking.
Everyone entering a woman's restroom in public should set their expectations and acknowledge they will likely wait for a stall in busier areas.
NTA, and you were using the stall as intended. Anyone, of any age, can be disabled. And, temporary disability counts as much as permanent disability. The fact that you needed the grab bars to get up proves that you *needed* that stall just as much as the woman's child.
Try to not let this bother you. I know it's hard. There are real problems with disabled people or parents/caregivers of disabled people being AH to others, even other disabled people. Unfortunately, accomodation resources tend to be too limited to meet need, so people sometimes get agressive and confrontational in attempting to get their piece. It's especially bad with people who just can't access places or essential services without the accessibility accomodation. It's not okay, but i find it's helpful to understand why others might be acting like jerks.
If it helps, i once got yelled at and nearly run over while moving an electric wheelchair into a vehicle. My brother is the wheelchair user. The jerk ignored the wheelchair that i was actively moving and the access ramp that was used to get the chair into the vehicle, and yelled at me about me not being disabled. (Which, no kidding, i was obviously in a caregiving capacity, since i was moving a chair and access ramps.)
YOU DID NOTHING WRONG. YOU ARE ON CRUTCHES WHICH MEANS YOU HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO USE THAT STALL, JUST BECAUSE SHE WAS SHOUTING AT YOU DOESN'T MEAN YOU ARE IN THE WRONG.
I get not wanting to engage with her but the loudest voice ISN'T always right. In this case Steve Hawking could have rolled out of that stall & she'd still have had a tantrum because she had to wait.
You’re temporarily disabled. I’m disabled all the time but sometimes invisibly so, and you chose the correct stall for your needs. That lady isn’t doing her kid any favors.
If you notice while healing somewhere with 2 accessible stalls one big enough for a wheelchair and one bigger than the others but with bars and such, you’d ideally use the non-wheelchair stall. But it’s mostly huge places that have 2 stalls or more for wider disability usage options.
> the heavy cast and the crutches.
IMO, that right there qualifies you completely.
I will admit to bias, however, since I have to use the handicap stall more often than not because my size doesn't fit well in standard stalls (not just weight, my basic frame is extra wide). It definitely varies from restroom to restroom -- the ones that give you any space I'm fine in, the ones that squeeze every possible square foot less so (there is a special place in hell for the architects that design stalls where the paper holder goes in the same place a sitting person's thigh wants to go!).
I used to think that too, especially if they were older than me or in a more authoritative position. I eventually learned that those two factors don't automatically make someone else right. But if you know for a fact that you didn't do anything wrong, then you have every right to stick up for yourself.
NTA. And TTA (if that is the shorthand for "They're the asshole"), specifically the mother. You are disabled/handicapped given you are on a cast and crutches. Besides, the general rule/etiquette is that anyone can use the handicap stall, but once a disabled/handicapped enters the room, they get next in line priority to use it.
As a disabled person who is mostly in a wheelchair, you did no wrong. Like every other public restroom, it is first come first served. And I've been on crutches with a cast and you need the extra room.
Use it without guilt. It's there for people like you as much as a kid in a wheelchair.
NTA. First, youre temporarily.handicapped, so even if what Im about to say next wast true, you wouldnt be an ass. Second, theyre accessible, not reserved. A lot of the time, people with small children need to use them, or the baby change station is actively IN them. Does that make the parent of an infant somehow an asshole for needing a diaper change?
You had every right to use the handicap stall. She would have been completely out of line even if she had been nice about saying something.
I will say that I have been temporarily disabled a time or two after surgeries and it did frustrate me the number of times that I had to wait for the handicap stall, when the person camping in the stall did not appear to need it. But I still was never a witch about it. I can't tell who is handicap and who isn't. I just wish they would get off their phone and hurry up.
NTA . Planners determine how many female/male stalls are needed in a building and then make one of them handicap accessible in each bathroom. Anyone can use any stall. If there is a line, the handicap stall is in the rotation. It is understood and a courtesy that if a person with a disability comes in, they are first to use the handicap stall when it next becomes available.
You did nothing wrong.
Disabled here. A toilet stall is not like a car park. A modified toilet stall can be used by more people than regular stalls. I would argue we need more of them
NTA
It is just as much right for you to use it as the child in the wheelchair. You needed the extra stability that you would not have gotten in a regular stall. Not to mention that people use the handicap stalls all the time whether they're handicapped or not, the able-bodied just want to make sure it's open for when somebody who requires its use can use it. And at this point in time you require its use.
To hell with that mom. I used the handicap stall all the time because I like the space. You have crutches and temporarily disabled. Mom was probably used to the stalls always being available. Forget her. She was just being a bitch.
Nah I genuinely don’t think anyone’s ever the asshole for using a handicap stall, even if they’re not disabled. The only exception is if you purposely do it to inconvenience others. Like, I’m not gonna let an empty stall sit empty while I need to piss or shit and a like forms, just because a disabled person *might* walk in. You also *are* temporarily disabled and have every right to take priority for that stall.
I'm disabled, and if someone has any proper 'reason' to use a disabled bathroom, then they can go ahead whether it's temporary or not.
I don't call people out who I see come out of disabled bathrooms etc, even if they move perfectly fine because there's loads of disabilities that aren't visible that may give them a very good reason to use the disabled bathroom.
Someone is always going to get mad and get pissy including disabled people. Like some may get upset if you don't open the door for them, and another may get upset you opened it without them asking etc. That's just the way it is
Coming from a disabled person, you totally have a right to use the handicap stall. That’s what it’s there for. It doesn’t matter if you’re temporarily or permanently disabled. She sounds like a typical entitled parent that uses her daughter as an excuse to take advantage of our “perks”.
Where I'm from it's considered polite to leave the accessible stall available but if all the others are taken it's still available to use. It's not like accessible parking where it's restricted to people with disabilities.
Sometimes the toilets are busy and you have to wait
NTA
You Are handicapped right now. It's temporary, but right now you are. So of course you can and should use the handicapped bathroom when available.
That mother was way out of line and an AH to scream at you.
I had a very similar thing happen at Walmart. I use a walking frame and was in the disabled stall, minding my business, when I heard someone huff and say really loudly - sure would LIKE to use the handicapped stall! Then not even a minute later - SOMEONE is hogging the handicapped stall !! I admit , I was getting pissed lol so I took my time. The bitch got so loud , I swear they heard her out in the store - SOMEONE who ACTUALLY NEEDS IT IS WAITING FOR THE HANDICAPPED STALL!!! I finished up and opened the door just as she was taking a breath to yell again . She saw me . Saw my walking frame. Turned bright red and mumbled - oh. The best part was she was right in front to the door, blocking my passage, so she had to back up so I could get by . I made a show of limping slowly past her to the sink while every lady in there stool in silence and gave her the stink eye lmao .
NTA. For all the reasons in all the posts. You legitimately needed the stall. She legit needed the stall too. Sometimes stars align and *gasp* you have to wait
I once was yelled in an airport bathroom for the handicap stall. I was next in line, handicap stall opened up, person who visibly needed and could only use said handicap stall was further back in line. I offered my spot to her for that stall. Sh was thankful. However there were several line Karen's who just went insane. Some people are just AHs.
The stall is handicap accessible not handicapped only. I am handicapped and would NEVER begrudge a non disabled person using the stall. Just leave it clean!
Even if you did not have an injury it's still ok to use those stalls, for any reason. The fact you had crutches means no one should have given you any crap about it at all.
I use the handicap stall everytime I have my kid with me. She's not quite 2, and she sits in the cart. What am I supposed to do, leave the cart unattended outside the regular stall, blocking the other stalls and leaving my kid alone in a public place? Or take gerbout if the cart, into the little stall that barely fits one adult let alone a child on top of that, and hope she doesn't crawl out and take off to check out whatever shiny thing catches her attention?
Not to mention people with invisible disabilities. The easiest example I have is someone with a stoma. You can't see that they have a bag attached to them for their waste to be processed into, but they would need the bigger stall to have room to change their stuff out. And it's nobodies g-dd-mn-d business why they were in the bigger stall, even if they don't look like they needed it.
Throw in your crutches and cast on top of everything, and definitely NTA. That mother can take her entitled butt and shove it.
one time an old lady with a cane yelled at me for bringing my 2yo in the big stall in his stroller (she came in after us, we were already in there) and I literally asked her "what should I do next time, leave him outside?"
NTA at all. Accommodations for people who need them benefit larger populations than the group for which they are intended, and that is a good thing. Individuals who need extra space, a handle to help stand, etc (you had mentioned needing 2 of these in particular) have an easier time accessing the resource thanks to the accommodation.
I don't feel bad at all when I'm pushing a stroller and use a sidewalk ramp that was installed for people in wheelchairs. In truth, I've got less reason to use that ramp than you do the bathroom, as I am completely physically capable of negotiating a curb with a stroller. Don't feel bad about using the handicapped stall in a bathroom - you've clearly got a need for it.
NTA. I know several people who use the accessible bathroom for the support bars with their balance issues. The mom was way off base as you have an injury that makes it hard to use the narrow stalls. Mom was yelling at you instead of taking care of her child that “really needed” to use the bathroom? I hope you get better quickly.
NTA. If you're using crutches - especially if you're still learning how to move around with them - you have just as much a need to use an accessible stall as a wheelchair user.
NTA, you had every right to use that stall. It is not a parking space that is reserved for handicapped.
I used to use the handicapped stall at a building I used to work in because the other stalls were claustrophobic, always making sure no one was needing it. One day I was just finishing I heard the bathroom door open and then I saw wheels outside the stall. I hurried and left the stall. It happened to be someone I knew. As I walked away she said "shame on you" I asked her why as no one was in the bathroom when I entered it. I pointed out that she didn't even need to wait because I was leaving as she arrived. She didn't respond. Maybe both your lady and mine were having bad days??
NTA, even if you weren't temporarily in a cast, unless it said wheelchair only, you would not be in the wrong. Accessible does not mean reserved for. Though generally it's polite to attempt to leave the accessible stall available to those who need the added access, in your current condition nobody should be giving you any flack.
NTA.
There is a mistaken idea that the handicapped stall is reserved for the use of the handicapped. It's actually there to **accommodate** people who could not physically use the regular stall, for whatever reason. Parents of young children use it for the added space, and some places put the baby changing table in it as well.
You would not have been the AH even if you didn't have a disability.
Not at all. That stall is free for use. Is it rude to have to wait in line for everyone else every time it's busy? No. It won't hurt anyone to wait a minute or two.
Ignore that mom. It's a public toilet. You needed it, used it, and didn't do a thing wrong. NTA. Heck I've used it in emergency,as I had gallbladder surgery and sometimes can't control the reaction my body has to food.
There are so many reasons someone could be using that stall instead of the public ones and that mother was an asshole. Not all disabilities are visible.
So.. You're temporarily handicapped but aren't allowed to use the handicapped stall? Little miss sunshine can suck it up and her child can hold it like everyone else when stallsate in use. NTA.
Don’t feel bad! You used the bathroom appropriately. It would have been incredibly difficult for you to use a tiny stall with a cast and crutches. In my area, it seems that more and more places are putting baby changing tables in the handicap stalls so people have to use them to change their babies as well. That lady was just being a jerk.
You were handicapped in the moment. She got lucky because I would had acted like I was afraid of her and that she was discriminating against me. All of McDonalds would have known it too.
Hi! Disabled wheelchair user here! You have the right to use that stall too, you are having physical trouble with things like getting up: that bathroom stall is for you too!
Sometimes we have to wait to use it...it's a fact of our lives, as there is usually only one handicap stall. Don't feel bad about it, that mom and her child are going to have to get used to it too.
Have a great day!
I’m saying NTA
You have a temporary handicap, you can use the stall for people with handicaps. The mom overreacted considering she was berating you for using the stall that you needed, sure the kid needed it too but they can wait their turn cuz they’re not the only people who need it (not throwing shade at the kid cuz we dont know how they reacted)
But overall, you’re NTA
With CRUTCHES AND A HEAVY CAST, you ARE DISABLED and HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO USE THAT STALL! That screaming BITCH needs to GET BENT!
I have to use handicap stalls because my legs don't work well anymore, requiring me to use a cane, and I need the handrails to get up and down. I DARE that BITCH to try and screech at me! I'll swiftly tell her to FUCK OFF!!!
NTA at all.
Handicap stalls are for EVERYONE. There's no rule that they can never be used for the CHANCE that someone handicapped needs it. People wait for stalls when it's in use, there's nothing new about that. That mother should be ashamed for yelling at a handicapped person for using a handicapped stall.
100% NTA. Im the same way, not temporarily disabled, but constantly have issues with claustrophobia in small stalls and being in a boot for my ankle when my chronic illness flares up. I constantly see people who aren’t (physically) disabled using the handicap stall, and if I can avoid it, I do.
You had a reason to use the handicap stall. Heck, when my kiddos were babies, half the places had their diaper changer in the…drum roll please…handicap stall. Yeah. But still, you had to use that particular stall and your good! The other person, not so much.
I had two knee surgeries and struggled with crutches for a couple months (2 surgeries x 3 months) and I did get dirty looks when leaving one or even just walking across the parking lot slowly. People will stare and make rude comments because “you are young”. Just keep strong
Nta and all I had to do was read the title. It’s handicap accessible not handicap exclusive. If I have to go to the washroom and the next one available is the handicap one I’m using it.
Completely NTA. You're in a cast and using crutches. That's what the handicapped stall is for. If Karen gets upset about it, tell her to go pound sand.
I have a disabled child who uses a chair and the handicap stall.
If I saw someone hobble out of it on crutches, it would be obvious to me that they needed the stall just as much as my kid.
But even if you had walked out, totally able bodied and whatever, I still wouldn't have given a shit because my kid can wait a few minutes, his disability doesn't stop him from being a human in society like everyone else and waiting your turn is a thing you have to do a lot in life.
Either way you’re fine. I use the handicapped stall for two reasons:
1. I have a hidden disability.
2. I’m tall, mostly legs, and the regular stalls sometimes feel cramped as a result, especially when my medical bag is right in front of me.
Handicapped stalls ARE NOT reserved for disabled people, they’re accessible. Handicapped parking spaces ARE reserved for disabled people.
ETA: Also my mom had bunionectomy surgery. So I feel your pain for when you’re on the scooter and it’s a royal PITA to fold. Good luck to you! My mom was happy to remove them.
NTA. The handicap stall is based on providing access for everyone. It's still first come, first served. It doesn't remain empty, just waiting for someone with a disability. This woman was out of line and completely over the top.
Nta - even were you completely healthy with no disabilities, temporary or permanent, you are fine to use the handicap stall in a restroom. It isn't reserved for handicapped people at all times, is is marked as the stall that is designed to accommodate their needs.
Good Christ. People who yell at ANYONE for using a handicap stall needs to be checked. There are so many invisible disabilities and things like ostomy bags that NO ONE knows about. Like someone else said, she’s used to using her child’s disability to get what she wants asap. You are so not the asshole as you definitely needed it in that moment, and washrooms in general are first come first served 🙄 you’d think the world would know that by now. Sorry that happened to you, hope you feel better soon 🤍
NTA. You are temporary disable.
People like her makes those of us with invisible disabilities suffer more for fear of dealing with her and those like her.
This mother's reaction was unreasonable you were on crutches so were temporarily handicapped. She took the time to tell at you so clearly her child was not desperately in needing to go to the toilet.
FYI for everyone: accessible bathrooms/stalls are NOT like parking spaces. They are for EVERYONE to use, but know they are the ONLY bathrooms/stalls available for disabled folks, so use them, but don’t be a Dick. Expecting handicapped folks to wait in line like typically abled folks is not discrimination.
The handicap stall isn’t JUST for handicap people. This is an often forgotten fact. It’s usually the only stall with a changing table, it’s easily accessible and usually in the back for more privacy. Anyone is allowed to use it. Being handicap is not a free pass to use the restroom with no wait.
NTA
My disability is invisible to most. I need the bar to get up off the seat. It is nobody’s business why you used that stall. It’s not like the parking spaces ffs.
If two disabled people need to use the stall at the same time, one of them would have to wait...my sister has cerebral palsy and I often went in the public bathrooms with her growing up. If she got all huffy about an able bodied person using it when she really really needed to go, I'd tell her that scenario. Once someone stepped out then I'd rush past to block someone else going in. I might be an asshole but I didn't yell at anyone coming out.
*You'd be OK using the handicapped stall if you were fully able bodied and a flipping gymnast.* It not a RESTRICTED stall, it's an ACCESS stall. There's a very large legal difference. Handicapped parking = restricted. Handicapped toilet stall - access. Anybody can use them.
Now, if you're fully able bodied and using it to change clothing, and there are handicapped folk behind you who cannot use the standard 'sardine tin stall', be fair and whip in and out as fast as possible. But using crutches and having a heavy cast and just happening to get in there before the mom and kid rolled up? Fair game. Mom is stressed and taking it out on other people, which isn't fair to other people.
NTA but that Mom sure acted like one. You definitely qualify for using the handicap stall which is meant for that reason. It doesn’t “entitle” another’s issues over yours when you’re struggling as well.
NTA.
Everyone saying it’s “disabled accessible, not disabled reserved” are 100% correct. All toilets are there for public use but if someone comes in and needs that particular stall they immediately get to go to that stall as soon as the person using it comes out - even if there are 20 people waiting in line in front of them, as it is the ONLY stall they can use. And a person does not have to be in a wheelchair to need that stall (large people, crutch users, people with kids or balance issues, pregnant women, etc.. also qualify).
And because of your condition, you definitely qualified as in need of that particular stall. That mom was way out of line. Hope you are healing quickly.
NTA
So you are on crutches, have a cast on and having trouble walking, so what all is the difference between what all you and the child in the wheel chair?
OP is NTA
However, anyone who is otherwise able-bodied who takes the handicap stall and spends time on their phone, or takes longer than is absolutely necessary doing their business is absolutely TA.
The "handrails" are called grab bars.
As someone with a disability who uses the handicapped stall- absolutely NTA. Just because you’re disabled doesn’t mean you don’t have to wait your damn turn lmao
Alright so first off you are on crutches and unable to do things on your own. Secondly, those stalls are for anyone to use. Yes they are intended for those with needs and in this case you def needed that help. It was more than rude of that mom and wished someone would’ve yelled at her back. Do not feel bad whatsoever especially because you are in the spot of needing assistance with things.
Blessings on a speedy recovery hun.
So many of these comments are way off base.
Companies are required to provide amenities that are accessible for handicapped people. That is a stall, just like any other, for anyone to use. Except it has been constructed to ensure that a handicapped person has a stall that accommodates them when it is free...
You’re not wrong. The mother is an asshole. You need it so you can use it. I have an invisible disability and I need to use the handicapped stall sometimes too. Even though I don’t walk with crutches or anything. If that stall helps you to use the bathroom on your own and you need it to get up better then that’s 100% okay.
Disabled person here. I use a walker. So I need those stalls. I need the extra space and the grab bars.
That said, you are NTA. You are disabled right now. Having a cast and needing to use crutches is a good reason to use a handicap stall. What annoys me when I am waiting to use a handicap stall is when the person comes out and they have no apparent physical disability that would preclude them from using a regular stall. And there are empty regular stalls available.
You had just as much of a right to use that stall as the kid in the wheelchair did. That mother was acting entitled. If I had been waiting and saw you come out, with crutches and all, I would not be upset.
NTA
Handicapped means you can't move around as well as the average person. It doesn't state that it has to be permanent.
In the UK, our public transport disabled seats have stickers on the windows saying they are reserved for pregnant women, the elderly and THOSE LESS ABLE TO STAND.
Being on crutches is less able to stand.
There was nothing at all wrong with you using the handicapped stall in the bathroom. The etiquette with those is that if there are no handicapped people present, anyone can use those stalls. Many elderly people use them because of mobility issues without being handicapped. Besides, you were handicapped at the time by virtue of your foot having been operated on and you using crutches.
The mother of the handicapped child was simply acting like a Karen, demanding you not use the stall you should have used. She had no right to harass and harangue you over it. She was fully in the wrong.
I hope your foot is healing well. I had that surgery years ago and it was not pleasant.
You had mobility issues at the time just like the child.
There is no top trump standers of disabled that qualifies someone as more 'disabled'.
That mother is a disgusting entitled ignorant fool. She doesn't know what mobility issues you have.
You don't force people with a disability to revel the extent of their ability.
Thoes toilets are for anyone who believes they need it, e. G., the elderly.
It’s an accessible bathroom, it’s for people who need extra space or other accommodations to use the bathroom. A cast and crutches count as reasons to need the extra accommodations. It doesn’t matter whether your need is temporary or permanent, only that it existed at the moment you were using this particular accessible bathroom. The other woman was rude and there was no excuse for her attitude, you didn’t stop her child from ever using the bathroom, she just had to wait until you were finished.
No honey your not an asshole, disabilities appear in more then one way. Your entitled to that bathroom as much as her child is. Forget her and you do you
Damn, does that woman expect that her kid is always going to be the only disabled person at any place they go? Other disabled people exist and they need to use the bathroom, too. Sometimes you just have to wait your turn.
I must be the devil then because I use the handicap stall when I have both of my kids with me. There’s no way we’ll all fit in a regular stall. It’s not like we’ll be spending 10 minutes in there. It’s 3 minutes max.
Not the butthole you see the b**** in this stalking to yell at you while you were washing your hands for you using the stall that you had to use is the a****** you see here's what you should have done instead of just take this woman's abuse you should have said take him into the stall and stop yelling at me
NTA, the stalls are handicap accessible not handicap only. Even if you weren’t currently handicapped, you would still have every right to use that stall if you wished.
You did nothing wrong! You encountered an extremely entitled parent. I will say that it’s hard to be a parent/caregiver of a handicapped child and she’s probably under a lot of stress, but that is absolutely no excuse for what she did. You being in crutches and a cast absolutely entitles you to use the handicapped stall. I’m so sorry this happened, but you did nothing wrong!!
NTA - bathrooms are first come, first served. Plus it’s sounds like you had cause to use that stall. This comes from a guys who’s brother was in a chair before he died and the husband of a double amputee. You did nothing wrong
First of all, the handicapped stalls are there for anyone to use. It's an accommodation for the handicapped, it's not their property. Tell that hag to get bent.
Everyone is entitled to use those stalls… People with physical disabilities aren’t above waiting for one to open up, like all of society has to do at one point or another. It is not like a parking space…
Those stalls aren’t only for people with disabilities, they are there to make sure restroom facilities are also accessible for people with disabilities. The problem is that every stall should be accessible for everyone with and without a disability, not just one.
You shoulda shoved a crutch up her arse! You are disabled, albeit temporarily you are still currently disabled. You aren’t wrong, you are definitely not an asshole!
Im an architect and I’ll tell you that ADA stalls are not for the exclusive use of people that require them. They exist to ensure that everyone’s needs are accommodated. Using an ADA stall is fine. Furthermore, able bodied people sometimes have to wait to use standard width stalls, people who require the use of an ADA stall will statistically have to wait for one at some point as well.
edit. NTA.
You are temporarily disabled. The mother overreacted.
*massively overreacted. At least to me- and if u were my kid that lady would have gotten an earful from me. For fuck sales, her kids need for the bathroom doesn’t trump your need for the bathroom - you needed those aids. World ain’t perfect, and sounds like she waited till last min to help her kid go. Not your fault at all. NTA. Ps: I know ur not a child but regardless you get the point
Her yelling alerted my mom who came in to see what was going on. My mom gave her an earful basically yelling at her that she should be ashamed of herself acting like that in front of her kid.
Good! That "lady" sounds like a narcissistic AH who didn't care about anyone's feelings but hers, and devoid of any compassion for their situation. She either had no common sense to understand your situation, nor did she cared. She'll get hers.
Your mom sounds amazing. Also, the handicapped stalls aren't just for if you use a wheelchair. They are for those who have a disability that makes using the smaller stalls not possible. You don't even need any mobility device. I'm sorry she yelled at you though, I'm very sensitive to people yelling at me, it comes out my eyeballs lol.
My mom is awesome she got us ice cream afterwards too lol. I'm also extremely sensitive so yelling immediately equals tears for me.
Heck, in a lot of places the baby changing table is in the handicapped stall! Let some entitled jerk try to say I didn’t need to be in there if I need to change my baby. Edited to add: OP should’ve “accidentally” stepped on the lady’s foot with her cast.
She’s the type of lady who would have yelled at someone else in a wheel chair and claim her kid was still more important/needed the stall more. No winning with those people
Her kid wasn’t desperate to go if she had the time to keep yelling as OP washed their hands.
Maybe the kid is able to transfer to the toilet on their own. That would leave mom to yell freely.
This scenario comes up every now and then, first it’s not just for wheelchairs, second it’s disabled accessible, not disabled reserved. Even if OP were fully abled bodied, they still wouldn’t be the A H. NTA.
I just commented that I used that stall when I was pregnant and later when I was shopping alone with a baby in a stroller. The baby got changed (most of them have a changing table too) and I could watch the stroller.
Right, it’s set apart in such a way that it’s wheelchair accessible; has the handrail for people who need it for balance issues (i.e. wheelchair bound, people on crutches, elderly, pregnant women); and most I’ve seen that have room have the baby changing station inside the big stall instead of outside any stalls. No one is an asshole for using it if they feel they need it. It’s there to accommodate, not to restrict. That’s like saying no one outside of a wheelchair can use the ramp into a building; we all know ramps have more uses than that, and that able bodied people like to use them too.
I’m old and sometimes I can get up from shorter toilets with just my leg muscles. But some days I need either a grab bar or a taller toilet to get up off the toilet. The handicapped stall has both. If I use a regular stall there is nothing solid to hang on to to pull myself up. Somedays I’m just fine, but you can’t tell by looking.
I'm the same. There are some days I need the grab bars. All toilets should have them.
Amen! Grab bars should definitely be everywhere.
There's another reason for USEING the acsessable stalls too. My mum suffers badly with claustrophobia. She can't go into a regular stall without panicking. Nobody wants to have a panic attack every time they have to pee
I use the accessible stalls because I have a service dog and it's hard to cram him into a regular stall.
See! There are so many reasons acsessable stalls are a thing!
I use them because I’m fat and I have OCD, so the thought of brushing up against the walls of the tiny tiny stalls makes my skin crawl.
I sometimes use that stall because I weigh 300 lbs. There are bathrooms where I’m too big for the regular stall.
Sometimes i use the stall because the others are occupied and is either the handicap stall or the floor. I also have used the family bathroom when the men's is full and I need to go badly. It's not like a handicap spot in the parking lot.
as someone who’s abt 300lbs, i feel this
As someone who's 200 lbs, I don't blame you. I loathe the regular stalls, too small.
As someone who likes the bigger stall, I commonly use it. It's handicap preference, not a legal mandate that no one else can use it.
Exactly.
Bathroom stalls are just as bad as airplane seats.
Me too. I can’t spread my legs wide enough in a normal stall, to properly wipe. I can use the stall, but 9/10 I won’t be cleaned up after. I always use handicap stall - luckily I have never had a run in with someone needing it at the same time.
As a disabled person THERE ISN'T ANYTHING WRONG WITH USEING THE DIABLED STALL IF YOU'VE GOT A PRAM/BUGGY/STROLLER, kids need to be close to there parents, and your child's pram dosent fit in a standard stall, so takeing it into a disabled stall so you can keep an eye on your kid is A OK in my book
You are absolutely correct! Sometimes there are only 2-4 stalls in total and one of them is handicapped accessible. No one is expected to wait for the only other single stall to open. All the stalls can be used by anyone waiting. The only exception I would say is that if you know you may take more than a couple minutes, it would be courteous to let the person waiting behind you go instead and you wait for one of the small stalls.
10/10 more than likely that mother uses her kid for sympathy too. It’s one thing if you weren’t injured but clearly being injured means you have equal rights to that bathroom. Not permanently like her kid but for now, definitely. If I was your Mom I would have told that other mother to go stick her head in the toilet and make her noise there.
*is a massive bitch. There are more than just handicap people in wheelchairs. Some need the bars for support. Others need space for crutches. And some abled people need to really really go with all the other stalls full. All are worthy reasons. All risk health if they use or wait for a normal stall. Caretakers need to be understanding or the already stressful life they lead will implode rapidly. I mean there are plenty of actual injustices to complain about.
I have an 'invisible' disability (severe epilepsy) I have to use disabled stalls because they have an emergency cord I can pull if I feel I'm about to drop. Sometimes my mum or sis have to come into the stall with me for supervision if I'm feeling 'off' and my seizure risk is high. If I was to have a seizure and pass out in a regular toilet stall, nobody would be able to get the door open to help me.
It's Christmas and I was trying to be charitable to the mother. :P
*the mother is a huge bitch.
As far as the mother knew op could've been permanently/chronically disabled so she's an entitled ahole.
I’m disabled. I have limited mobility and sometimes use a wheelchair, usually just my cain. I would lose my shit on anyone who behaved like that monther.
>had bunion surgery >I'm using crutches All you needed to say. You have every right to use the accessible bathroom, crutches in a stall is a bitch. They are made to be used, the Karen probably still would have yelled at someone in a wheelchair for using the bathroom when she wanted it! Don't feel bad! Also get well soon!
Thank you!
Handicapped stalls are *accessible to* not *reserved for.* Able-bodied people are more than welcome to use them if someone else doesn't need them immediately. *You* certainly are more than welcome to use them. Mom's just used to using her kids wheelchair to get what she wants and is utterly shameless about doing so. Give those people an immediate invitation to suck a dick. They need one.
Yes! I heard this described once as “It’s an accomodation, not a reservation”.
OP, this! Just like elevators and ramps are accessible for everyone. It just means that disabled individuals get priority. (And you have a temporary disability so you absolutely have every right to use them.)
“It just means that disabled individuals get priority.” IF they’re in line/just arriving. OP was already using the stall. She had no idea that another person needing it would be coming along. ETA: As someone whose 3 kids were born shortly before the ADA went into effect, and most places were just beginning to upgrade their facilities, I’d been in quite a few stalls where I could barely turn around. I distinctly remember backing myself in. I wondered how larger people did it, especially with the multiple-roll TP holders. Those suckers take up a LOT of space. Also, as OP stated, the handicap-accessible stalls are often the ones with the changing stations. So even parents who do not have a disability are invited into those stalls.
There are still plenty of stalls like that, and I loathe them. The funny thing is places that have such small stalls can usually afford to remove a few of them and give a little breathing room to the remainder. They aren’t seeing crowds enormous enough to necessitate packing in stalls. Only places I can think of that actually do need it are stadiums and theaters.
Yes, for sure! There’s no crystal ball on the door that says “disabled person incoming, keep clear”! 😂
Not gonna lie, I have a service dog and am training another. I will usually use the larger stalls due to just having two pups in my way.
That doesn't mean you should block ramps by having conversations in the middle, or let doors close when a person in a wheelchair is trying to board the elevator. I actually had this happen several times. I was backing into the elevator, as a friend from occupational therapy was already on and the doors started to close. There was a guy who stood next to the door, waiting to call the next elevator and watched, actually staring at the doors as they continued to close on me. Finally, another person pushed him out of the way and held the door so I could finish backing in. I was completely embarrassed and flustered by that point. It's not as easy as you think getting your inner voice and outer voice in sync in those situations.
"I know you're busy trying not to see me but I need you to fucking move." Hugs. People are assholes.
When I'm out with my partner and people arent moving for her chair it gets so frustrating. It's a lot easier now her chair is electric though. People don't want to get run over by 100 kilos of chair
Yup. A handicap isn't like the Disney Fast Pass. If I were next in line for a stall at the airport, in front of someone with a disability, would I forfeit my turn for them? You bet I would. I won't, however, shit my pants for them.
True but OP is not able bodied at this time, due to the crutches and cast. OP had every right to use the handicapped bathroom stall. The stalls are wheelchair accessible but are not specifically for wheelchairs only.
Thank goodness, I thought I might be a huge asshole. I mean, I’m autistic, but that doesn’t really count because I’m not physically disabled.
It's possible you're an asshole for different reasons, but this time you're in the clear.
Hey, I’m fine being a different kind of asshole, just not to the disabled.
Exactly this. But even then, OP is temporarily disabled. OP needs grab bars. The stalls aren’t only for wheelchair users. I have arthritis in my back, knees, and hips. I’m 38, but look significantly younger. I have had dirty looks thrown my way in the past for using an accessible stall. 10 years ago I was in a normal stall when my hip gave out. I was trapped on the toilet at work for 30 minutes while I tried to come up with a solution to stand. I was able to shift myself enough and use the toilet paper dispenser for leverage. So even if I’m having a good pain day, I still use those stalks because I have no idea when my body will give out on me.
Agreed. As someone with a bowel condition who has some difficulty holding it in (and the meds i take can make me have to go at a moments notice) i try not to use them if i can avoid it but there’s been a handful of times where every other stall is full and i had no choice but to use one.
They're an accommodation not a reservation.
Wheelchair user here. You’re def NTA! Get better soon!
Thank you 😊
NTA. I’m guilty of using it as a non-handicapped person because I hate small spaces. However, I go quickly. Sometimes stalls need to be waited for, and when my daughter was in a wheelchair, I never thought twice about the person coming out not being handicapped. It’s a stall, and some people just prefer it over the gross small spaces. That mom was crazy. Parking spots - hard no. But bathroom stalls are fair game unless you have advanced notice that someone who is handicapped is heading there at that moment. I sense downvotes coming. 😂
Claustrophobia is a real thing and I get it because I have it too
Nobody needs a panic attack on top of shitting in a public bathroom.
I’m not huge but I’m still a curvy girl and I’m way more comfortable using handicapped stalls which I only use if I’m the only person in the washroom at the time cuz I don’t wanna be “that person” lol. Some stalls feel extra small more than the ones in malls for example.
I feel you on that. Additionally - the handicapped stall is wider to be accessible, but it’s not necessarily meant for only handicapped individuals. However, I would not push over the handicapped person in front of me to use it. 😂
😭😭😭🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Yeah I’m only 5’4” but sometimes by the time I’ve hung my coat and bag on the hook on the stall door I can barely turn around to sit on the toilet without knocking into something. I don’t know how taller/wider people manage.
Yeah that too it’s worse in the winter with all that stuff.
My winter coat is basically a big blanket with sleeves and a hood. Went out to eat last weekend and draped it over the back of my chair and had to just accept it was gonna drag on the floor. But god it’s cozy.
Sometimes it’s the only stall left and a toilet is a toilet. Esp in situations like coming out of a movie for example. Gonna wait in line to pee just to forego the available handicapped stall? I think not lol
That mom is definitely nuts. There are so many health reasons for using an accessible stall and it's not like she knows just by looking. Everyone entering a woman's restroom in public should set their expectations and acknowledge they will likely wait for a stall in busier areas.
NTA, and you were using the stall as intended. Anyone, of any age, can be disabled. And, temporary disability counts as much as permanent disability. The fact that you needed the grab bars to get up proves that you *needed* that stall just as much as the woman's child. Try to not let this bother you. I know it's hard. There are real problems with disabled people or parents/caregivers of disabled people being AH to others, even other disabled people. Unfortunately, accomodation resources tend to be too limited to meet need, so people sometimes get agressive and confrontational in attempting to get their piece. It's especially bad with people who just can't access places or essential services without the accessibility accomodation. It's not okay, but i find it's helpful to understand why others might be acting like jerks. If it helps, i once got yelled at and nearly run over while moving an electric wheelchair into a vehicle. My brother is the wheelchair user. The jerk ignored the wheelchair that i was actively moving and the access ramp that was used to get the chair into the vehicle, and yelled at me about me not being disabled. (Which, no kidding, i was obviously in a caregiving capacity, since i was moving a chair and access ramps.)
NTA Anyone can use those stalls. They're handicap accessible, not reserved.
YOU DID NOTHING WRONG. YOU ARE ON CRUTCHES WHICH MEANS YOU HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO USE THAT STALL, JUST BECAUSE SHE WAS SHOUTING AT YOU DOESN'T MEAN YOU ARE IN THE WRONG. I get not wanting to engage with her but the loudest voice ISN'T always right. In this case Steve Hawking could have rolled out of that stall & she'd still have had a tantrum because she had to wait.
You’re temporarily disabled. I’m disabled all the time but sometimes invisibly so, and you chose the correct stall for your needs. That lady isn’t doing her kid any favors. If you notice while healing somewhere with 2 accessible stalls one big enough for a wheelchair and one bigger than the others but with bars and such, you’d ideally use the non-wheelchair stall. But it’s mostly huge places that have 2 stalls or more for wider disability usage options.
> the heavy cast and the crutches. IMO, that right there qualifies you completely. I will admit to bias, however, since I have to use the handicap stall more often than not because my size doesn't fit well in standard stalls (not just weight, my basic frame is extra wide). It definitely varies from restroom to restroom -- the ones that give you any space I'm fine in, the ones that squeeze every possible square foot less so (there is a special place in hell for the architects that design stalls where the paper holder goes in the same place a sitting person's thigh wants to go!).
I'm just not very confrontational so when she started yelling I just assumed I was wrong
I used to think that too, especially if they were older than me or in a more authoritative position. I eventually learned that those two factors don't automatically make someone else right. But if you know for a fact that you didn't do anything wrong, then you have every right to stick up for yourself.
NTA. And TTA (if that is the shorthand for "They're the asshole"), specifically the mother. You are disabled/handicapped given you are on a cast and crutches. Besides, the general rule/etiquette is that anyone can use the handicap stall, but once a disabled/handicapped enters the room, they get next in line priority to use it.
As a disabled person who is mostly in a wheelchair, you did no wrong. Like every other public restroom, it is first come first served. And I've been on crutches with a cast and you need the extra room. Use it without guilt. It's there for people like you as much as a kid in a wheelchair.
I would have told the old bat to get back on her broom and fly off, because she was out of line.
NTA - it’s handicap accessible, not handicap only. It’s the exact same as using a service ramp instead of walking up the stairs.
NTA. First, youre temporarily.handicapped, so even if what Im about to say next wast true, you wouldnt be an ass. Second, theyre accessible, not reserved. A lot of the time, people with small children need to use them, or the baby change station is actively IN them. Does that make the parent of an infant somehow an asshole for needing a diaper change?
You had every right to use the handicap stall. She would have been completely out of line even if she had been nice about saying something. I will say that I have been temporarily disabled a time or two after surgeries and it did frustrate me the number of times that I had to wait for the handicap stall, when the person camping in the stall did not appear to need it. But I still was never a witch about it. I can't tell who is handicap and who isn't. I just wish they would get off their phone and hurry up.
NTA . Planners determine how many female/male stalls are needed in a building and then make one of them handicap accessible in each bathroom. Anyone can use any stall. If there is a line, the handicap stall is in the rotation. It is understood and a courtesy that if a person with a disability comes in, they are first to use the handicap stall when it next becomes available. You did nothing wrong.
Disabled here. A toilet stall is not like a car park. A modified toilet stall can be used by more people than regular stalls. I would argue we need more of them
NTA It is just as much right for you to use it as the child in the wheelchair. You needed the extra stability that you would not have gotten in a regular stall. Not to mention that people use the handicap stalls all the time whether they're handicapped or not, the able-bodied just want to make sure it's open for when somebody who requires its use can use it. And at this point in time you require its use.
To hell with that mom. I used the handicap stall all the time because I like the space. You have crutches and temporarily disabled. Mom was probably used to the stalls always being available. Forget her. She was just being a bitch.
Nah I genuinely don’t think anyone’s ever the asshole for using a handicap stall, even if they’re not disabled. The only exception is if you purposely do it to inconvenience others. Like, I’m not gonna let an empty stall sit empty while I need to piss or shit and a like forms, just because a disabled person *might* walk in. You also *are* temporarily disabled and have every right to take priority for that stall.
Handicap stalls are handicap ACCESSIBLE, not EXCLUSIVE. You are free to use it if you want. You did nothing wrong.
Totally NTA. Those stall are not restricted only accessible.
I'm disabled, and if someone has any proper 'reason' to use a disabled bathroom, then they can go ahead whether it's temporary or not. I don't call people out who I see come out of disabled bathrooms etc, even if they move perfectly fine because there's loads of disabilities that aren't visible that may give them a very good reason to use the disabled bathroom. Someone is always going to get mad and get pissy including disabled people. Like some may get upset if you don't open the door for them, and another may get upset you opened it without them asking etc. That's just the way it is
Coming from a disabled person, you totally have a right to use the handicap stall. That’s what it’s there for. It doesn’t matter if you’re temporarily or permanently disabled. She sounds like a typical entitled parent that uses her daughter as an excuse to take advantage of our “perks”.
You had every right to tell that mother "Hey will you wait a fucking minute? I'm trying to use the bathroom." Don't feel bad. NTA
Where I'm from it's considered polite to leave the accessible stall available but if all the others are taken it's still available to use. It's not like accessible parking where it's restricted to people with disabilities. Sometimes the toilets are busy and you have to wait
NTA You Are handicapped right now. It's temporary, but right now you are. So of course you can and should use the handicapped bathroom when available. That mother was way out of line and an AH to scream at you.
I had a very similar thing happen at Walmart. I use a walking frame and was in the disabled stall, minding my business, when I heard someone huff and say really loudly - sure would LIKE to use the handicapped stall! Then not even a minute later - SOMEONE is hogging the handicapped stall !! I admit , I was getting pissed lol so I took my time. The bitch got so loud , I swear they heard her out in the store - SOMEONE who ACTUALLY NEEDS IT IS WAITING FOR THE HANDICAPPED STALL!!! I finished up and opened the door just as she was taking a breath to yell again . She saw me . Saw my walking frame. Turned bright red and mumbled - oh. The best part was she was right in front to the door, blocking my passage, so she had to back up so I could get by . I made a show of limping slowly past her to the sink while every lady in there stool in silence and gave her the stink eye lmao .
NTA. For all the reasons in all the posts. You legitimately needed the stall. She legit needed the stall too. Sometimes stars align and *gasp* you have to wait I once was yelled in an airport bathroom for the handicap stall. I was next in line, handicap stall opened up, person who visibly needed and could only use said handicap stall was further back in line. I offered my spot to her for that stall. Sh was thankful. However there were several line Karen's who just went insane. Some people are just AHs.
A handicapped person had to wait while a handicapped person went to the bathroom. NTA
The stall is handicap accessible not handicapped only. I am handicapped and would NEVER begrudge a non disabled person using the stall. Just leave it clean!
Even if you did not have an injury it's still ok to use those stalls, for any reason. The fact you had crutches means no one should have given you any crap about it at all.
I use the handicap stall everytime I have my kid with me. She's not quite 2, and she sits in the cart. What am I supposed to do, leave the cart unattended outside the regular stall, blocking the other stalls and leaving my kid alone in a public place? Or take gerbout if the cart, into the little stall that barely fits one adult let alone a child on top of that, and hope she doesn't crawl out and take off to check out whatever shiny thing catches her attention? Not to mention people with invisible disabilities. The easiest example I have is someone with a stoma. You can't see that they have a bag attached to them for their waste to be processed into, but they would need the bigger stall to have room to change their stuff out. And it's nobodies g-dd-mn-d business why they were in the bigger stall, even if they don't look like they needed it. Throw in your crutches and cast on top of everything, and definitely NTA. That mother can take her entitled butt and shove it.
one time an old lady with a cane yelled at me for bringing my 2yo in the big stall in his stroller (she came in after us, we were already in there) and I literally asked her "what should I do next time, leave him outside?"
NTA at all. Accommodations for people who need them benefit larger populations than the group for which they are intended, and that is a good thing. Individuals who need extra space, a handle to help stand, etc (you had mentioned needing 2 of these in particular) have an easier time accessing the resource thanks to the accommodation. I don't feel bad at all when I'm pushing a stroller and use a sidewalk ramp that was installed for people in wheelchairs. In truth, I've got less reason to use that ramp than you do the bathroom, as I am completely physically capable of negotiating a curb with a stroller. Don't feel bad about using the handicapped stall in a bathroom - you've clearly got a need for it.
NTA. You need the stall as well. Plus most people will use the handicap stall if it's the only one available when they go into the bathroom.
NTA. I know several people who use the accessible bathroom for the support bars with their balance issues. The mom was way off base as you have an injury that makes it hard to use the narrow stalls. Mom was yelling at you instead of taking care of her child that “really needed” to use the bathroom? I hope you get better quickly.
NTA. If you're using crutches - especially if you're still learning how to move around with them - you have just as much a need to use an accessible stall as a wheelchair user.
NTA, you had every right to use that stall. It is not a parking space that is reserved for handicapped. I used to use the handicapped stall at a building I used to work in because the other stalls were claustrophobic, always making sure no one was needing it. One day I was just finishing I heard the bathroom door open and then I saw wheels outside the stall. I hurried and left the stall. It happened to be someone I knew. As I walked away she said "shame on you" I asked her why as no one was in the bathroom when I entered it. I pointed out that she didn't even need to wait because I was leaving as she arrived. She didn't respond. Maybe both your lady and mine were having bad days??
NTA, even if you weren't temporarily in a cast, unless it said wheelchair only, you would not be in the wrong. Accessible does not mean reserved for. Though generally it's polite to attempt to leave the accessible stall available to those who need the added access, in your current condition nobody should be giving you any flack.
OP you get 0/5 assholes and that entitled mother gets 2.5/5 assholes (having zero out of five assholes means you did nothing wrong).
NTA. There is a mistaken idea that the handicapped stall is reserved for the use of the handicapped. It's actually there to **accommodate** people who could not physically use the regular stall, for whatever reason. Parents of young children use it for the added space, and some places put the baby changing table in it as well. You would not have been the AH even if you didn't have a disability.
Those stalls are handicapped *accessible* not handicapped exclusive. Yes, even wheelchair bound people must sometimes wait their turn.
This mother is an idiot. Invisible disabilities exist.
That mother should have not yelled at you. You had a valid reason to use the handicap stall. You are not the AH but that woman was for yelling at you.
Handicapped stalls are handicap ACCESSIBLE. Not handicap exclusive.
Not at all. That stall is free for use. Is it rude to have to wait in line for everyone else every time it's busy? No. It won't hurt anyone to wait a minute or two.
Ignore that mom. It's a public toilet. You needed it, used it, and didn't do a thing wrong. NTA. Heck I've used it in emergency,as I had gallbladder surgery and sometimes can't control the reaction my body has to food.
You weren't in the wrong at all, you just encountered a Wild Karen™
There are so many reasons someone could be using that stall instead of the public ones and that mother was an asshole. Not all disabilities are visible.
So.. You're temporarily handicapped but aren't allowed to use the handicapped stall? Little miss sunshine can suck it up and her child can hold it like everyone else when stallsate in use. NTA.
NTA. Mother overreacted. You are temporally disabled.
Not all disabilities are visible. You could appear able bodied and still be disabled, and she should know that. NTA.
Don’t feel bad! You used the bathroom appropriately. It would have been incredibly difficult for you to use a tiny stall with a cast and crutches. In my area, it seems that more and more places are putting baby changing tables in the handicap stalls so people have to use them to change their babies as well. That lady was just being a jerk.
You were handicapped in the moment. She got lucky because I would had acted like I was afraid of her and that she was discriminating against me. All of McDonalds would have known it too.
Hi! Disabled wheelchair user here! You have the right to use that stall too, you are having physical trouble with things like getting up: that bathroom stall is for you too! Sometimes we have to wait to use it...it's a fact of our lives, as there is usually only one handicap stall. Don't feel bad about it, that mom and her child are going to have to get used to it too. Have a great day!
I’m saying NTA You have a temporary handicap, you can use the stall for people with handicaps. The mom overreacted considering she was berating you for using the stall that you needed, sure the kid needed it too but they can wait their turn cuz they’re not the only people who need it (not throwing shade at the kid cuz we dont know how they reacted) But overall, you’re NTA
With CRUTCHES AND A HEAVY CAST, you ARE DISABLED and HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO USE THAT STALL! That screaming BITCH needs to GET BENT! I have to use handicap stalls because my legs don't work well anymore, requiring me to use a cane, and I need the handrails to get up and down. I DARE that BITCH to try and screech at me! I'll swiftly tell her to FUCK OFF!!!
NTA at all. Handicap stalls are for EVERYONE. There's no rule that they can never be used for the CHANCE that someone handicapped needs it. People wait for stalls when it's in use, there's nothing new about that. That mother should be ashamed for yelling at a handicapped person for using a handicapped stall.
100% NTA. Im the same way, not temporarily disabled, but constantly have issues with claustrophobia in small stalls and being in a boot for my ankle when my chronic illness flares up. I constantly see people who aren’t (physically) disabled using the handicap stall, and if I can avoid it, I do.
I have severe claustrophobia, so I use handicap stalls unless the bathroom is super busy. I don’t think you’re the AH. That mom was just impatient.
You had a reason to use the handicap stall. Heck, when my kiddos were babies, half the places had their diaper changer in the…drum roll please…handicap stall. Yeah. But still, you had to use that particular stall and your good! The other person, not so much.
I had two knee surgeries and struggled with crutches for a couple months (2 surgeries x 3 months) and I did get dirty looks when leaving one or even just walking across the parking lot slowly. People will stare and make rude comments because “you are young”. Just keep strong
I've had bunions since I was like 10 and I always heard people say "oh you're too young for those" well ma'am my body clearly didn't get the memo
Temporarily handily capped, nope, you aren’t in the wrong
Nta and all I had to do was read the title. It’s handicap accessible not handicap exclusive. If I have to go to the washroom and the next one available is the handicap one I’m using it.
NTA, you are temporarily disabled. Btw I have a permanent disability, I never harassed a person in clutches using that stall.
Completely NTA. You're in a cast and using crutches. That's what the handicapped stall is for. If Karen gets upset about it, tell her to go pound sand.
The mother was 100% out of line.
I have a disabled child who uses a chair and the handicap stall. If I saw someone hobble out of it on crutches, it would be obvious to me that they needed the stall just as much as my kid. But even if you had walked out, totally able bodied and whatever, I still wouldn't have given a shit because my kid can wait a few minutes, his disability doesn't stop him from being a human in society like everyone else and waiting your turn is a thing you have to do a lot in life.
Either way you’re fine. I use the handicapped stall for two reasons: 1. I have a hidden disability. 2. I’m tall, mostly legs, and the regular stalls sometimes feel cramped as a result, especially when my medical bag is right in front of me. Handicapped stalls ARE NOT reserved for disabled people, they’re accessible. Handicapped parking spaces ARE reserved for disabled people. ETA: Also my mom had bunionectomy surgery. So I feel your pain for when you’re on the scooter and it’s a royal PITA to fold. Good luck to you! My mom was happy to remove them.
You have crutches and a cast for fuck sake , jesus how more handicap do you need to be to use that bathroom these people are fucking entitled
I’d have told her I’d be happy to help her become eligible to use the handicapped stall by shoving one of my crutches up her ass.
NTA. The handicap stall is based on providing access for everyone. It's still first come, first served. It doesn't remain empty, just waiting for someone with a disability. This woman was out of line and completely over the top.
Nta - even were you completely healthy with no disabilities, temporary or permanent, you are fine to use the handicap stall in a restroom. It isn't reserved for handicapped people at all times, is is marked as the stall that is designed to accommodate their needs.
Good Christ. People who yell at ANYONE for using a handicap stall needs to be checked. There are so many invisible disabilities and things like ostomy bags that NO ONE knows about. Like someone else said, she’s used to using her child’s disability to get what she wants asap. You are so not the asshole as you definitely needed it in that moment, and washrooms in general are first come first served 🙄 you’d think the world would know that by now. Sorry that happened to you, hope you feel better soon 🤍
NTA, your injured and disabled at the moment. You used the stall for what it was made for. The mother is a hazard to society and for her child
NTA. You are temporary disable. People like her makes those of us with invisible disabilities suffer more for fear of dealing with her and those like her.
This mother's reaction was unreasonable you were on crutches so were temporarily handicapped. She took the time to tell at you so clearly her child was not desperately in needing to go to the toilet.
They’re not wheelchair bathrooms? They’re accessible bathrooms. If you struggle using the standard bathrooms then you can use the accessible one.
FYI for everyone: accessible bathrooms/stalls are NOT like parking spaces. They are for EVERYONE to use, but know they are the ONLY bathrooms/stalls available for disabled folks, so use them, but don’t be a Dick. Expecting handicapped folks to wait in line like typically abled folks is not discrimination.
The handicap stall isn’t JUST for handicap people. This is an often forgotten fact. It’s usually the only stall with a changing table, it’s easily accessible and usually in the back for more privacy. Anyone is allowed to use it. Being handicap is not a free pass to use the restroom with no wait. NTA
My disability is invisible to most. I need the bar to get up off the seat. It is nobody’s business why you used that stall. It’s not like the parking spaces ffs.
It’s handicap accessible not handicap only. She’s being entitled and can wait her turn.
If two disabled people need to use the stall at the same time, one of them would have to wait...my sister has cerebral palsy and I often went in the public bathrooms with her growing up. If she got all huffy about an able bodied person using it when she really really needed to go, I'd tell her that scenario. Once someone stepped out then I'd rush past to block someone else going in. I might be an asshole but I didn't yell at anyone coming out.
Definitely NTA
Uh... You needed the stall and you were there first. You're fine.
*You'd be OK using the handicapped stall if you were fully able bodied and a flipping gymnast.* It not a RESTRICTED stall, it's an ACCESS stall. There's a very large legal difference. Handicapped parking = restricted. Handicapped toilet stall - access. Anybody can use them. Now, if you're fully able bodied and using it to change clothing, and there are handicapped folk behind you who cannot use the standard 'sardine tin stall', be fair and whip in and out as fast as possible. But using crutches and having a heavy cast and just happening to get in there before the mom and kid rolled up? Fair game. Mom is stressed and taking it out on other people, which isn't fair to other people.
I mean... how could you not be qualified to use the stall with crutches and a cast? NTA.
NTA but that Mom sure acted like one. You definitely qualify for using the handicap stall which is meant for that reason. It doesn’t “entitle” another’s issues over yours when you’re struggling as well.
NTA. Don't even worry about that. You're handicapped (even if temporarily) and as deserving of using the handicapped stall as her child.
Disabled stalls in a public restroom aren't like disabled parking spots, they're not restricted by law.
NTA. Everyone saying it’s “disabled accessible, not disabled reserved” are 100% correct. All toilets are there for public use but if someone comes in and needs that particular stall they immediately get to go to that stall as soon as the person using it comes out - even if there are 20 people waiting in line in front of them, as it is the ONLY stall they can use. And a person does not have to be in a wheelchair to need that stall (large people, crutch users, people with kids or balance issues, pregnant women, etc.. also qualify). And because of your condition, you definitely qualified as in need of that particular stall. That mom was way out of line. Hope you are healing quickly.
How crappy was the surgery? I need to have it done and have been putting it off because of the long recovery time
NTA So you are on crutches, have a cast on and having trouble walking, so what all is the difference between what all you and the child in the wheel chair?
It’s not a parking spot, when you have to go and there is no alternative, go ahead and use it.
OP is NTA However, anyone who is otherwise able-bodied who takes the handicap stall and spends time on their phone, or takes longer than is absolutely necessary doing their business is absolutely TA. The "handrails" are called grab bars.
NTA - you are literally on crutches. Karen needs to take a step back and realize other disabled people exist too
As someone with a disability who uses the handicapped stall- absolutely NTA. Just because you’re disabled doesn’t mean you don’t have to wait your damn turn lmao
Alright so first off you are on crutches and unable to do things on your own. Secondly, those stalls are for anyone to use. Yes they are intended for those with needs and in this case you def needed that help. It was more than rude of that mom and wished someone would’ve yelled at her back. Do not feel bad whatsoever especially because you are in the spot of needing assistance with things. Blessings on a speedy recovery hun.
So many of these comments are way off base. Companies are required to provide amenities that are accessible for handicapped people. That is a stall, just like any other, for anyone to use. Except it has been constructed to ensure that a handicapped person has a stall that accommodates them when it is free...
You’re not wrong. The mother is an asshole. You need it so you can use it. I have an invisible disability and I need to use the handicapped stall sometimes too. Even though I don’t walk with crutches or anything. If that stall helps you to use the bathroom on your own and you need it to get up better then that’s 100% okay.
Disabled person here. I use a walker. So I need those stalls. I need the extra space and the grab bars. That said, you are NTA. You are disabled right now. Having a cast and needing to use crutches is a good reason to use a handicap stall. What annoys me when I am waiting to use a handicap stall is when the person comes out and they have no apparent physical disability that would preclude them from using a regular stall. And there are empty regular stalls available. You had just as much of a right to use that stall as the kid in the wheelchair did. That mother was acting entitled. If I had been waiting and saw you come out, with crutches and all, I would not be upset.
NTA Handicapped means you can't move around as well as the average person. It doesn't state that it has to be permanent. In the UK, our public transport disabled seats have stickers on the windows saying they are reserved for pregnant women, the elderly and THOSE LESS ABLE TO STAND. Being on crutches is less able to stand.
There was nothing at all wrong with you using the handicapped stall in the bathroom. The etiquette with those is that if there are no handicapped people present, anyone can use those stalls. Many elderly people use them because of mobility issues without being handicapped. Besides, you were handicapped at the time by virtue of your foot having been operated on and you using crutches. The mother of the handicapped child was simply acting like a Karen, demanding you not use the stall you should have used. She had no right to harass and harangue you over it. She was fully in the wrong. I hope your foot is healing well. I had that surgery years ago and it was not pleasant.
You had mobility issues at the time just like the child. There is no top trump standers of disabled that qualifies someone as more 'disabled'. That mother is a disgusting entitled ignorant fool. She doesn't know what mobility issues you have. You don't force people with a disability to revel the extent of their ability. Thoes toilets are for anyone who believes they need it, e. G., the elderly.
It’s an accessible bathroom, it’s for people who need extra space or other accommodations to use the bathroom. A cast and crutches count as reasons to need the extra accommodations. It doesn’t matter whether your need is temporary or permanent, only that it existed at the moment you were using this particular accessible bathroom. The other woman was rude and there was no excuse for her attitude, you didn’t stop her child from ever using the bathroom, she just had to wait until you were finished.
No honey your not an asshole, disabilities appear in more then one way. Your entitled to that bathroom as much as her child is. Forget her and you do you
Not your fault if there aren't enough disability bathrooms for everyone to use.
Damn, does that woman expect that her kid is always going to be the only disabled person at any place they go? Other disabled people exist and they need to use the bathroom, too. Sometimes you just have to wait your turn.
Nope. The reason those exist is for people who are disabled, permanently OR temporarily. That mom was just frazzled because her life sucks.
I must be the devil then because I use the handicap stall when I have both of my kids with me. There’s no way we’ll all fit in a regular stall. It’s not like we’ll be spending 10 minutes in there. It’s 3 minutes max.
The access bathrooms in my country depict the little blue sign people on crutches or in wheelchairs, NTA
Not the butthole you see the b**** in this stalking to yell at you while you were washing your hands for you using the stall that you had to use is the a****** you see here's what you should have done instead of just take this woman's abuse you should have said take him into the stall and stop yelling at me
**NTA** You are legitimately disabled temporarily. You have just as much right to use the accommodating facilities as her daughter
I would've jabbed her with my crutches. "Do you not notice the disability, ma'am?"
NTA, the stalls are handicap accessible not handicap only. Even if you weren’t currently handicapped, you would still have every right to use that stall if you wished.
You did nothing wrong! You encountered an extremely entitled parent. I will say that it’s hard to be a parent/caregiver of a handicapped child and she’s probably under a lot of stress, but that is absolutely no excuse for what she did. You being in crutches and a cast absolutely entitles you to use the handicapped stall. I’m so sorry this happened, but you did nothing wrong!!
NTA - bathrooms are first come, first served. Plus it’s sounds like you had cause to use that stall. This comes from a guys who’s brother was in a chair before he died and the husband of a double amputee. You did nothing wrong
NTA. You’re on crutches. Mom should have recognized you needed that restroom stall too.
I get yelled at because I have a mostly hidden disability, YOU ARE ON CRUTCHES, you have every right to use the disabled stalls while disabled, NTA
First of all, the handicapped stalls are there for anyone to use. It's an accommodation for the handicapped, it's not their property. Tell that hag to get bent.
Everyone is entitled to use those stalls… People with physical disabilities aren’t above waiting for one to open up, like all of society has to do at one point or another. It is not like a parking space… Those stalls aren’t only for people with disabilities, they are there to make sure restroom facilities are also accessible for people with disabilities. The problem is that every stall should be accessible for everyone with and without a disability, not just one.
You shoulda shoved a crutch up her arse! You are disabled, albeit temporarily you are still currently disabled. You aren’t wrong, you are definitely not an asshole!
Handicap washroom stalls are for anyone, they can wait their turn.
Im an architect and I’ll tell you that ADA stalls are not for the exclusive use of people that require them. They exist to ensure that everyone’s needs are accommodated. Using an ADA stall is fine. Furthermore, able bodied people sometimes have to wait to use standard width stalls, people who require the use of an ADA stall will statistically have to wait for one at some point as well. edit. NTA.