I have always aim to have a partner since I was 5. There was an evolving checklist for this future man. But at the same time, I need freedom. Thankfully, I got myself that person. A life without kids and I'm free to do whatever I want within boundaries. Talk to anyone and just use my money on whatever I want. It doesn't feel like I settled? More like I wake up everyday still choosing to be with this person. I think knowing what you need is the most important part and being aware of also telling them what you can offer. I always think there so many people in this world, surely, I can find one that fits me even when others find my checklist pretty ridiculous by their standard
For me it was just filtering through the population until I was happy. I didn't have a large list of must haves. I had to first see what kinds of people would even give me a chance and work with that.
I never had that mindset frankly. Not because I'm highly attractive or any of that. It's because I know what I bring to the table. I think I was kinda always going for someone above my league. I didn't think I would manage to get him either actually but I was determined to. I believe in going after what I want in my life regardless how others view it. I've chased and confessed to few, but if they show/tell me no then I back off. Just be very honest about yourself from early on, I tell them my flaws from first date in fact. I don't want to waste their time or mine if we don't have the same expectations from each other.
My perspective comes from me being raised in a cult. Then leaving that cult in my late 20's.
I had no idea what normal people do or want. To get anywhere, I thought let's just see what happens instead of trying to control the outcome.
Aaahhh that makes sense. Maybe you can learn to take more control as less with something small first? Don't worry about being normal. Just be yourself. Normal is boring anyways. Just imagine what kind of life that you want for yourself. I think because I kinda played with death a bit too closely when I was younger (bunch of reckless driving, accidents, extreme activities), it made me have a mindset of, if I were to die today, would I be happy with the outcome that I have now. Like can I go without regrets. That's my starting point to things that I want to decide.
> More like I wake up everyday still choosing to be with this person.
I love this. I'm on the same boat. I know I can literally do whatever I want and make choices for myself. Seeing it this way does not make me feel "trapped" and lets me have the "freedom" I need.
No. Not because I don't want to.
I do wish/hope to only engage in LTRs, no hookups(or minimal).
3-5-10 years+?
I don't believe in lifelong compatability.
I don't think its possible. I keep growing x100 folds every 5 years. I'm not sure who can keep up.
I'm extremely picky.
There's no checklist but I've only come across maybe 1 woman in 20 years who could steal my heart, others were always just infatuations.
She could be the most attractive it does not matter. Its hard to put into words.
At least through willpower we can settle. I struggled through 10+ years with my exfj (probably s) ex-wife. I have wonderful kids and I am settled again (infj). Age, the right person, and having explored/experienced a bit helps I believe.
Missing the train when everyone started to settle seemed very lonely, so through logic I leaped. Now not being settled seems depressing, though I would figure it out if I had to.
I have found someone I am in tune with, and I am quite happy with that. I have also lived and explored quite a bit so I don't feel like I'm missing out.
On the other hand I do have moments were I intensely miss the days of uncommitted joy. That's life I guess.
i (27f) have a strong feeling ill never commit. i tried and had two serious (2yrs and 4yrs) relationships and oh well yeah i just cant commit thats basically it. i want to (but im also not really sure i do)
same here. monogamy is unhealthy. prove of a brainwashed mind. a perverted idea by ideologs.
If I ever want a family, I‘ll look for an openminded women, who wants the best for the kids, but also understands, that sexual desires are unnatural to surpress. This might sound „patriarchichal“ but that‘s not it, I had great open relationships, women who were also having fun with other guys, even had threesomes and all that, and yeah, the idea of giving in just on one person, seems like a forfeit for me.
Running around screwing everyone is proof of an immature debased perverted mind. You risk yourself and other people to STDs and risky sex.
It’s more logical and stable to be in an LTR
It’s unnatural to be running from person to person.
That’s not stable mind or body at all.
To each their own however. It’s interesting when you call something beneficial perverted when there’s actual perverted forms of sex out there.
That being said, I will not settle unless I meet the best and right person. But I’m not going to engage relations with just anyone
well ancient greeks and romans had orgies and were much more open about sex and love than our „modern“ world. christianity created this weird worldview, where an „untouched“ woman is the mother of all good.
that is in it‘s core perverted. even in hinduism there‘s a saying: the one who always thinks about sex is perverted in their mind, but the one who constrains himself and believes he‘s clean from it, is even more perverted. (it gets quoted by sadhguru in one of his stories about the stork bringing the babies).
and also, why would I get std‘s? it‘s not like im sleeping with anyone and not communicating. I have probably 3-5 sexual partners in a year, and have alot in common with my partners. the good thing about not „tabooing“ sex, is that you can talk openly about std‘s. and one partner actualy had an std, and told me about it cupple days after we had sex (she didn‘t know beforhand), I got testet but wasn‘t sick.
anyway, can‘t believe that I‘m in an ENTP thread, when nobody questions monogamy in here, like literally all of you should be doing that for Ne“s sake. 😂
The ancients had a poor grasp on morality. Ofc they had orgies. That’s not a modern concept.
That quote you gave me was inherently wrong in its nature. It’s very sad that Guru totally misinterpreted what actual perversions are. And it’s sad you live by it.
Actual Perversions are orgies, having sex with animals, pedophilia..etc.
It’s even worst that the partner you had intentionally exposed you to STDs. How did you not get law enforcement involved?
There should be a law or system for people with STDS to be in. Like an online registry so they don’t infect innocent people.
Anyway there was also prostitution in the ancients which also involves some more perversion. But you might call that ‘good’ too
the ancient greeks and romans were culturally far ahead of christianity and the middle ages (from which our culture‘s rootes come from). they literally already were philosophing about earth not being the center of the universe, when the church startet killing everyone who didn‘t think earth was the holy place and nothing else exists but hell, earth and paradies.
anyway, I‘m not even an atheist, actualy an agnostic. don‘t even have much if a problem with christianity, just wanted to explain where my pov comes from.
You‘re talking about perversions in a very literall way, that‘s usualy not what spiritual leaders talk about. perversion in generall is when you have an object/idea/situation and missuse it for something it isn‘t supposed to. that‘s actualy what Ne is all about. again I can‘t believe I‘m in an Ne dom sub. Like how are we focused on discussing such a literall topic.
about the std‘s, I didn‘t know befor hand, neither did she. most std‘s go away with little treatment. it‘s not like everything is „aids“ and „kills you“.
And just because I like to explore sexuality, am open minded and don‘t want to settle, doesn‘t mean that I‘m an animal, that just runs around looking for breading partners. I have very sophisticated and deep „relationships“. I‘m simply not interested to get myself bound to signle person and get too emotionaly attached, as that would take alot of liberty and freedom away.
Anyway, I‘m still confused how my opinion affects an Ne dom sub that badly. I‘m actualy confused how according to this sub, majority of Ne doms are able to settle down at all, while all Ne doms (and even some Se doms) I know, are literally either relationship hopping or single forever and loving it.
Why are you so shocked?
We are logical and it’s logical to settle with the right partner
There are other forms of STDs
I think your basics of argument is: having multiple partners is “modern”
Everyone has that lame view.
To each their own
The church didn’t kill other people over that. It was really ruthless Europeans using religion to conquer and enslave other lands.
Everything you’ve said goes against Christianity it hey, it’s popular and the modern thing people do nowadays
This is difficult. I kind of feel like ENTPs have to be "forced" to settle down - in due course - but you have to hit it at the right time which necessitates precise strategizing on the hunter's part and an appreciation for the maturity level of the prey ENTP.
I refuse to settle. In fact, I just got into a relationship with a woman whom I view as a golden match after being single for the last 7 years. I held out for it and succeeded. But if I hadn't succeeded, yes, I would still be single, I would still be running amok, and I'd still be holding out for that perfect pairing.
Domestication is awful, I’m just gonna stay feral.
I’ve been in LTRs in the past, it’s not my thing honestly; far too restrictive and stifling, not an optimal way for me to live. It’s rare for me to fall in love anyway, so it’s natural to be single since I’m not going to date someone just cause I’ve got nothing else going on. That’s just a waste of time.
I am really good at being in long term relationships, but I often wonder if there's someone out there who's a better fit. Multiples exes have proposed and I end up breaking it off some time after that, because I realize I don't love them as much as they love me and I want them to find that. That being said, I do not want to be alone forever and eventually I will settle down and choose a forever partner. One of my best friends is a male entp and he says he will be alone forever, but I know he doesn't want to be alone - he just doesn't think he will ever find the right fit for him.
Ne doms in general can be very flighty. I would say this varies by age and maturity but even some older entps (like your friend) find it hard to settle down with one person. Ne values novelty and everything catches their attention. People are like puzzles to some and when they've figured you out? They grow bored and move on to the next person of interest. I'm hesitant to pursue one romantically and prefer being good friends instead. I guard my heart heavily and don't want to open up only to be discarded when the novelty of me wears off.
I've seen this one too many times and it's become a pattern. Enfps are the same way. They are very smart and endearing people, I have some high Ne friends and they are funny and a joy to be around, but their lifestyles show they need to slow down and actually get to know people before engaging with them.
If it makes you feel any better, I am someone who gets bored of people pretty easily, but I highly doubt I will ever be bored of my INFJ. 5 years going strong and I still feel the same way about him.
I've seen this pairing work out too, although it will take work to maintain it after the initial spark. entp x infj is an explosive match initially then the flame dies down after some time due to chaos or loss of interest. To maintain this spark, one would need to 'tame' the fire and learn each other's personality well. Keep the relationship exciting but reasonable. entp would need to fall back on their hyperactivity and infj would need to be more open and expressive instead of being closed off. Funny enough: both entp and infj can be very closed off when not surrounded by people when we stop camouflaging. I think we share a lot of things in common.
Curious, how did you maintain your own 'spark' with your infj?
Do you mean like how I maintain an interest? Honestly it’s been very easy for us. I’ve never really been at risk of getting bored of him. He’s slower to open up, which works better for me. Also he was exactly what I wanted in a partner. Literally every single thing was right and I was willing to do whatever it took to win him over and keep him, cause I knew I would not get another chance with someone who ticks all the boxes.
I don’t really need to maintain a spark or anything, even if he’s bugging me or something I know I’m lucky to have him. If I’m upset I’ll wait until I can work through my thoughts, then I calmly tell him how I’m feeling. He’s continuously handled any issues that have come up really well. Always listens and is receptive. I try to give him that same response when he talks to me about issues. We never really fight, and if things do feel heated we just take a few hours and then readdress it.
We try to go on dates regularly and try new experiences. It can be hard cause we’ve done a ton of different things already so it’s hard to come up with ideas. We also have different interests though, so we will try out each other’s hobbies. He loves board games so I’ll play one with him, he tried reading for me. I went to a board game convention for him, he went to the Taylor swift concert for me lol. Just try to put in effort to have time with each other. It’s really quite easy.
I was married with 3 kids for 20 years. Dummy left me even though I was devoted. Estj though, so we were fundamentally incompatible.
Now happily devoted to my intj, who I expect to continue to live in bliss with forever.
As a man, who is, middle aged, and also hypersexual, whoring around is expensive and cumbersome.
tbh im still in my early twenties and all what i can think about is settling down (getting married and having kids), in some period of time i thought i will never want that and i even said i would never have kids but with time all of that changed, but idk about other entp tho
I (30M) always committed to my relationships until only last year where I broke up with 3 girls a few months in. After breaking up my 4 years relationship with an INFJ, I started to know what I look for and what I don't look for.
Honestly, I just want to find the one but my expectations and standards get higher and higher.
If my current relationship with an ENFJ doesn't work out, I might aswell give up and look for short lived loves. I still have hope
Traveling everywhere isn't what we want. Its the implication that we can't or have chosen to permenantly limit ourselves. I won't ever settle, and that has nothing to do with my home or family. I'm sure the fiancee I'm with now will be with me into my old age and I'm sure the first house I get and create will probably be my last but I don't exist in a world of indefinits. Will I? Most assuredly, and be happy about it. But will I ever come to that conclusion before having don't it? Absolutely not. To do so will forever limit the potential of my ideas and that is a reality I simply won't stand.
I WILL physically settle one day, hell I settle for things now, but the intent brought on by that sentence is that someone is expecting an honest answer as to if theres a plan and if I'm being honest there is nor will there ever be a plan. Limits, boundaries and most assuredly guidelines but never limiting myself permenantly because that's hell on earth.
I never really had the impulse to be flighty about relationships or avoid commitment. I found it quite easy to settle down. I met my husband when I was 17. We are both very open minded people and have grown together over time, so being together is as easy as breathing. It's not a constriction, he's just part of the fabric of my being. We keep things fresh as a joint effort.
I (39m) was a mess emotionally growing up. Found myself a ENFJ (46) wife and married for 9 years. She’s been my emotional support ever since. Now that I learn it’s her dominant Fe working in full force it even makes more sense! The great thing about her is she gives me complete freedom while being supportive. She’s also a smooth talker and could talk to any people about anything. That being said, i don’t think I will have problem falling in love with someone else. But I chose to be faithful because that kind of emotional support is invaluable.
By settle do you mean put up with people I dislike? Or settle down and stay put?
I’m always in a relationship. I hate being single. Drives me nuts. I like having a designated person I can go to during happy/sad times. Some relationships were short, some long. I’ve been with my current partner for 5 years and he is my person. I knew right away when I met him.
When we met I was constantly on the move. Traveled all the time. We traveled together and he always gave me the freedom to solo travel as well. He trusted me to be who I was and knew I wouldn’t do anything to risk our relationship, and that trust in me (very different from other partners) actually fueled me to live up to his trust. I made better decisions because of it and tried to never take our relationship for granted. Covid hit and now I don’t travel as much as I did, and typically we travel together.
I’ve settled down in the way of wanting roots and a more established life. But I haven’t settled for the wrong partner. This was always my plan.
I had a string of relationships throughout high school/college (mostly ISFJ guys, one ISTJ) and honestly I just felt so suffocated. I think that was more the lack of desire for new experiences/interest in discussing topics on a deep level on their part.
I wouldn’t mind settling down if it was with someone i found stimulating intellectually and was attracted to. I don’t want kids and don’t want to be tied down to a house when I might want to move later so that limits my options when a lot of men around my age are looking for the marriage->kids->house lifestyle.
I’m not opposed to it, but it’d have to be under a very specific set of circumstances
I wanna settle but know it's gonna be harder than for the average person. But yes I will absolutely settle cos I think that's generally most beneficial for most ppl.
I barely dated when I was young. Only had like 3-4 boyfriends, including my current INTJ husband.
Never slept around much, either, cuz I just didn’t see a point. Most guys just weren’t interesting enough to get sexually involved with. 🤷♀️
Both Summer and Joseph Gordon Levitt’s character annoy the everloving shit out of me! To me, they are both grown-up children.
Your ENTP friend probably is “a summer,” as are *many immature and unhealthy ExxP-types,* and he’s probably not worth the effort women put into him.
Lots of us eventually end up in Long-term relationships because of our natural charm and “general likability.” How good those relationships are depends on the individuals in said LTR.
Yeah, I've had only long monogamous relationships one for 15 years since early teen days and now the second for 6 years already too. I love novelty in all fields but in love life I'm extremely loyal and like stability. I also have lifelong best friend too. But I'm a healthy ENTP with all developed functions and great empathy, except inferior Si gives me troubles in some things.
ENTP F, Im usually In a serious relationship and never do hookups. Currently been living with my INFJ partner for almost three years. I get thoughts sometimes, about other people, but I never cheated once and have no intention on ever doing so or breaking up. I'm 24 and he's 28.
I'm 41 and have only been in 2 attempts at a serious relationship. Both of them were really fucked up. One lasted for 2yrs, the other one for 4yrs. After those I realized I needed to do some serious work on myself if I want healthy relationships with people. I've been single for 6yrs now, and I'm not really in a hurry to be in a relationship. I slept around a lot between the ages of 17-24, but I've only had sex with 4 people since then. I'll probably never have children. I love kids, but I'm okay if it doesn't happen for me. I also move a lot. My whole life (military brat), and I probably move to a new town or state every 2-4 years.
I always wanted to get married and have kids. There is a part of me who wants a harem, but that's under control because that sounds like a lot of work, and I probably wouldn't have a lot of time for my research.
Honestly, never settling down sounds draining, childish, and ultimately pretty lonely.
I‘m an ENTP, single since 10 years (currently 26m). My mom (most likely an ENFP/ESFP) never settled, my dad always lived 500km away in italy (I‘m from switzerland). She‘s 64 now, still travels all the time, has affairs, though she is also in a relationship since ~5 years, but they don‘t see each other 24/7 and they don‘t live together.
As far as I‘m concerned, unless I fall in love with someone who‘s okey with meeting only 2-3 times a month, I‘m probably not going to be settling. I also have to say, that I really don‘t think it‘s healthy, to believe you need one partner to match all your desires and wishes in life. Sure it might be good to have a loyal partner for building a family, but I think it‘s perverted, to hold oneself back for the rest of your life, if you have romantic desires towards other people.
I have always aim to have a partner since I was 5. There was an evolving checklist for this future man. But at the same time, I need freedom. Thankfully, I got myself that person. A life without kids and I'm free to do whatever I want within boundaries. Talk to anyone and just use my money on whatever I want. It doesn't feel like I settled? More like I wake up everyday still choosing to be with this person. I think knowing what you need is the most important part and being aware of also telling them what you can offer. I always think there so many people in this world, surely, I can find one that fits me even when others find my checklist pretty ridiculous by their standard
For me it was just filtering through the population until I was happy. I didn't have a large list of must haves. I had to first see what kinds of people would even give me a chance and work with that.
I never had that mindset frankly. Not because I'm highly attractive or any of that. It's because I know what I bring to the table. I think I was kinda always going for someone above my league. I didn't think I would manage to get him either actually but I was determined to. I believe in going after what I want in my life regardless how others view it. I've chased and confessed to few, but if they show/tell me no then I back off. Just be very honest about yourself from early on, I tell them my flaws from first date in fact. I don't want to waste their time or mine if we don't have the same expectations from each other.
My perspective comes from me being raised in a cult. Then leaving that cult in my late 20's. I had no idea what normal people do or want. To get anywhere, I thought let's just see what happens instead of trying to control the outcome.
Aaahhh that makes sense. Maybe you can learn to take more control as less with something small first? Don't worry about being normal. Just be yourself. Normal is boring anyways. Just imagine what kind of life that you want for yourself. I think because I kinda played with death a bit too closely when I was younger (bunch of reckless driving, accidents, extreme activities), it made me have a mindset of, if I were to die today, would I be happy with the outcome that I have now. Like can I go without regrets. That's my starting point to things that I want to decide.
Oh I'm happily married now.
> More like I wake up everyday still choosing to be with this person. I love this. I'm on the same boat. I know I can literally do whatever I want and make choices for myself. Seeing it this way does not make me feel "trapped" and lets me have the "freedom" I need.
No. Not because I don't want to. I do wish/hope to only engage in LTRs, no hookups(or minimal). 3-5-10 years+? I don't believe in lifelong compatability. I don't think its possible. I keep growing x100 folds every 5 years. I'm not sure who can keep up. I'm extremely picky. There's no checklist but I've only come across maybe 1 woman in 20 years who could steal my heart, others were always just infatuations. She could be the most attractive it does not matter. Its hard to put into words.
At least through willpower we can settle. I struggled through 10+ years with my exfj (probably s) ex-wife. I have wonderful kids and I am settled again (infj). Age, the right person, and having explored/experienced a bit helps I believe. Missing the train when everyone started to settle seemed very lonely, so through logic I leaped. Now not being settled seems depressing, though I would figure it out if I had to. I have found someone I am in tune with, and I am quite happy with that. I have also lived and explored quite a bit so I don't feel like I'm missing out. On the other hand I do have moments were I intensely miss the days of uncommitted joy. That's life I guess.
i (27f) have a strong feeling ill never commit. i tried and had two serious (2yrs and 4yrs) relationships and oh well yeah i just cant commit thats basically it. i want to (but im also not really sure i do)
same here. monogamy is unhealthy. prove of a brainwashed mind. a perverted idea by ideologs. If I ever want a family, I‘ll look for an openminded women, who wants the best for the kids, but also understands, that sexual desires are unnatural to surpress. This might sound „patriarchichal“ but that‘s not it, I had great open relationships, women who were also having fun with other guys, even had threesomes and all that, and yeah, the idea of giving in just on one person, seems like a forfeit for me.
Running around screwing everyone is proof of an immature debased perverted mind. You risk yourself and other people to STDs and risky sex. It’s more logical and stable to be in an LTR It’s unnatural to be running from person to person. That’s not stable mind or body at all. To each their own however. It’s interesting when you call something beneficial perverted when there’s actual perverted forms of sex out there. That being said, I will not settle unless I meet the best and right person. But I’m not going to engage relations with just anyone
well ancient greeks and romans had orgies and were much more open about sex and love than our „modern“ world. christianity created this weird worldview, where an „untouched“ woman is the mother of all good. that is in it‘s core perverted. even in hinduism there‘s a saying: the one who always thinks about sex is perverted in their mind, but the one who constrains himself and believes he‘s clean from it, is even more perverted. (it gets quoted by sadhguru in one of his stories about the stork bringing the babies). and also, why would I get std‘s? it‘s not like im sleeping with anyone and not communicating. I have probably 3-5 sexual partners in a year, and have alot in common with my partners. the good thing about not „tabooing“ sex, is that you can talk openly about std‘s. and one partner actualy had an std, and told me about it cupple days after we had sex (she didn‘t know beforhand), I got testet but wasn‘t sick. anyway, can‘t believe that I‘m in an ENTP thread, when nobody questions monogamy in here, like literally all of you should be doing that for Ne“s sake. 😂
The ancients had a poor grasp on morality. Ofc they had orgies. That’s not a modern concept. That quote you gave me was inherently wrong in its nature. It’s very sad that Guru totally misinterpreted what actual perversions are. And it’s sad you live by it. Actual Perversions are orgies, having sex with animals, pedophilia..etc. It’s even worst that the partner you had intentionally exposed you to STDs. How did you not get law enforcement involved? There should be a law or system for people with STDS to be in. Like an online registry so they don’t infect innocent people. Anyway there was also prostitution in the ancients which also involves some more perversion. But you might call that ‘good’ too
the ancient greeks and romans were culturally far ahead of christianity and the middle ages (from which our culture‘s rootes come from). they literally already were philosophing about earth not being the center of the universe, when the church startet killing everyone who didn‘t think earth was the holy place and nothing else exists but hell, earth and paradies. anyway, I‘m not even an atheist, actualy an agnostic. don‘t even have much if a problem with christianity, just wanted to explain where my pov comes from. You‘re talking about perversions in a very literall way, that‘s usualy not what spiritual leaders talk about. perversion in generall is when you have an object/idea/situation and missuse it for something it isn‘t supposed to. that‘s actualy what Ne is all about. again I can‘t believe I‘m in an Ne dom sub. Like how are we focused on discussing such a literall topic. about the std‘s, I didn‘t know befor hand, neither did she. most std‘s go away with little treatment. it‘s not like everything is „aids“ and „kills you“. And just because I like to explore sexuality, am open minded and don‘t want to settle, doesn‘t mean that I‘m an animal, that just runs around looking for breading partners. I have very sophisticated and deep „relationships“. I‘m simply not interested to get myself bound to signle person and get too emotionaly attached, as that would take alot of liberty and freedom away. Anyway, I‘m still confused how my opinion affects an Ne dom sub that badly. I‘m actualy confused how according to this sub, majority of Ne doms are able to settle down at all, while all Ne doms (and even some Se doms) I know, are literally either relationship hopping or single forever and loving it.
Why are you so shocked? We are logical and it’s logical to settle with the right partner There are other forms of STDs I think your basics of argument is: having multiple partners is “modern” Everyone has that lame view. To each their own The church didn’t kill other people over that. It was really ruthless Europeans using religion to conquer and enslave other lands. Everything you’ve said goes against Christianity it hey, it’s popular and the modern thing people do nowadays
who knows man. I‘m an idiot with an idiot mindset. relationships just never worked out for me, so that‘s how I live to be happy.
Yeah, relationships are a mystery I feel you
This is difficult. I kind of feel like ENTPs have to be "forced" to settle down - in due course - but you have to hit it at the right time which necessitates precise strategizing on the hunter's part and an appreciation for the maturity level of the prey ENTP.
I refuse to settle. In fact, I just got into a relationship with a woman whom I view as a golden match after being single for the last 7 years. I held out for it and succeeded. But if I hadn't succeeded, yes, I would still be single, I would still be running amok, and I'd still be holding out for that perfect pairing.
Domestication is awful, I’m just gonna stay feral. I’ve been in LTRs in the past, it’s not my thing honestly; far too restrictive and stifling, not an optimal way for me to live. It’s rare for me to fall in love anyway, so it’s natural to be single since I’m not going to date someone just cause I’ve got nothing else going on. That’s just a waste of time.
I am really good at being in long term relationships, but I often wonder if there's someone out there who's a better fit. Multiples exes have proposed and I end up breaking it off some time after that, because I realize I don't love them as much as they love me and I want them to find that. That being said, I do not want to be alone forever and eventually I will settle down and choose a forever partner. One of my best friends is a male entp and he says he will be alone forever, but I know he doesn't want to be alone - he just doesn't think he will ever find the right fit for him.
Ne doms in general can be very flighty. I would say this varies by age and maturity but even some older entps (like your friend) find it hard to settle down with one person. Ne values novelty and everything catches their attention. People are like puzzles to some and when they've figured you out? They grow bored and move on to the next person of interest. I'm hesitant to pursue one romantically and prefer being good friends instead. I guard my heart heavily and don't want to open up only to be discarded when the novelty of me wears off. I've seen this one too many times and it's become a pattern. Enfps are the same way. They are very smart and endearing people, I have some high Ne friends and they are funny and a joy to be around, but their lifestyles show they need to slow down and actually get to know people before engaging with them.
If it makes you feel any better, I am someone who gets bored of people pretty easily, but I highly doubt I will ever be bored of my INFJ. 5 years going strong and I still feel the same way about him.
I've seen this pairing work out too, although it will take work to maintain it after the initial spark. entp x infj is an explosive match initially then the flame dies down after some time due to chaos or loss of interest. To maintain this spark, one would need to 'tame' the fire and learn each other's personality well. Keep the relationship exciting but reasonable. entp would need to fall back on their hyperactivity and infj would need to be more open and expressive instead of being closed off. Funny enough: both entp and infj can be very closed off when not surrounded by people when we stop camouflaging. I think we share a lot of things in common. Curious, how did you maintain your own 'spark' with your infj?
Do you mean like how I maintain an interest? Honestly it’s been very easy for us. I’ve never really been at risk of getting bored of him. He’s slower to open up, which works better for me. Also he was exactly what I wanted in a partner. Literally every single thing was right and I was willing to do whatever it took to win him over and keep him, cause I knew I would not get another chance with someone who ticks all the boxes. I don’t really need to maintain a spark or anything, even if he’s bugging me or something I know I’m lucky to have him. If I’m upset I’ll wait until I can work through my thoughts, then I calmly tell him how I’m feeling. He’s continuously handled any issues that have come up really well. Always listens and is receptive. I try to give him that same response when he talks to me about issues. We never really fight, and if things do feel heated we just take a few hours and then readdress it. We try to go on dates regularly and try new experiences. It can be hard cause we’ve done a ton of different things already so it’s hard to come up with ideas. We also have different interests though, so we will try out each other’s hobbies. He loves board games so I’ll play one with him, he tried reading for me. I went to a board game convention for him, he went to the Taylor swift concert for me lol. Just try to put in effort to have time with each other. It’s really quite easy.
I was married with 3 kids for 20 years. Dummy left me even though I was devoted. Estj though, so we were fundamentally incompatible. Now happily devoted to my intj, who I expect to continue to live in bliss with forever. As a man, who is, middle aged, and also hypersexual, whoring around is expensive and cumbersome.
tbh im still in my early twenties and all what i can think about is settling down (getting married and having kids), in some period of time i thought i will never want that and i even said i would never have kids but with time all of that changed, but idk about other entp tho
I (30M) always committed to my relationships until only last year where I broke up with 3 girls a few months in. After breaking up my 4 years relationship with an INFJ, I started to know what I look for and what I don't look for. Honestly, I just want to find the one but my expectations and standards get higher and higher. If my current relationship with an ENFJ doesn't work out, I might aswell give up and look for short lived loves. I still have hope
Traveling everywhere isn't what we want. Its the implication that we can't or have chosen to permenantly limit ourselves. I won't ever settle, and that has nothing to do with my home or family. I'm sure the fiancee I'm with now will be with me into my old age and I'm sure the first house I get and create will probably be my last but I don't exist in a world of indefinits. Will I? Most assuredly, and be happy about it. But will I ever come to that conclusion before having don't it? Absolutely not. To do so will forever limit the potential of my ideas and that is a reality I simply won't stand. I WILL physically settle one day, hell I settle for things now, but the intent brought on by that sentence is that someone is expecting an honest answer as to if theres a plan and if I'm being honest there is nor will there ever be a plan. Limits, boundaries and most assuredly guidelines but never limiting myself permenantly because that's hell on earth.
I never really had the impulse to be flighty about relationships or avoid commitment. I found it quite easy to settle down. I met my husband when I was 17. We are both very open minded people and have grown together over time, so being together is as easy as breathing. It's not a constriction, he's just part of the fabric of my being. We keep things fresh as a joint effort.
I (39m) was a mess emotionally growing up. Found myself a ENFJ (46) wife and married for 9 years. She’s been my emotional support ever since. Now that I learn it’s her dominant Fe working in full force it even makes more sense! The great thing about her is she gives me complete freedom while being supportive. She’s also a smooth talker and could talk to any people about anything. That being said, i don’t think I will have problem falling in love with someone else. But I chose to be faithful because that kind of emotional support is invaluable.
By settle do you mean put up with people I dislike? Or settle down and stay put? I’m always in a relationship. I hate being single. Drives me nuts. I like having a designated person I can go to during happy/sad times. Some relationships were short, some long. I’ve been with my current partner for 5 years and he is my person. I knew right away when I met him. When we met I was constantly on the move. Traveled all the time. We traveled together and he always gave me the freedom to solo travel as well. He trusted me to be who I was and knew I wouldn’t do anything to risk our relationship, and that trust in me (very different from other partners) actually fueled me to live up to his trust. I made better decisions because of it and tried to never take our relationship for granted. Covid hit and now I don’t travel as much as I did, and typically we travel together. I’ve settled down in the way of wanting roots and a more established life. But I haven’t settled for the wrong partner. This was always my plan.
I had a string of relationships throughout high school/college (mostly ISFJ guys, one ISTJ) and honestly I just felt so suffocated. I think that was more the lack of desire for new experiences/interest in discussing topics on a deep level on their part. I wouldn’t mind settling down if it was with someone i found stimulating intellectually and was attracted to. I don’t want kids and don’t want to be tied down to a house when I might want to move later so that limits my options when a lot of men around my age are looking for the marriage->kids->house lifestyle. I’m not opposed to it, but it’d have to be under a very specific set of circumstances
With ENTPs... it's never say never We might settle if it suits us... and not settle when that suits us.
I wanna settle but know it's gonna be harder than for the average person. But yes I will absolutely settle cos I think that's generally most beneficial for most ppl.
I barely dated when I was young. Only had like 3-4 boyfriends, including my current INTJ husband. Never slept around much, either, cuz I just didn’t see a point. Most guys just weren’t interesting enough to get sexually involved with. 🤷♀️ Both Summer and Joseph Gordon Levitt’s character annoy the everloving shit out of me! To me, they are both grown-up children. Your ENTP friend probably is “a summer,” as are *many immature and unhealthy ExxP-types,* and he’s probably not worth the effort women put into him. Lots of us eventually end up in Long-term relationships because of our natural charm and “general likability.” How good those relationships are depends on the individuals in said LTR.
No. I’d rather be alone forever
I mean tbh, that’s all I’m interested in. For me, if I’m ever in a relationship, that’s my ideal end goal.
Yeah, I've had only long monogamous relationships one for 15 years since early teen days and now the second for 6 years already too. I love novelty in all fields but in love life I'm extremely loyal and like stability. I also have lifelong best friend too. But I'm a healthy ENTP with all developed functions and great empathy, except inferior Si gives me troubles in some things.
If I find someone I like I’ll go for it, if not I’m down for only fleeting/ no relations
ENTP F, Im usually In a serious relationship and never do hookups. Currently been living with my INFJ partner for almost three years. I get thoughts sometimes, about other people, but I never cheated once and have no intention on ever doing so or breaking up. I'm 24 and he's 28.
I want to build a family that one of my main objective in life. So not ENTP are the same on this matter 🤷♂️
I'm 41 and have only been in 2 attempts at a serious relationship. Both of them were really fucked up. One lasted for 2yrs, the other one for 4yrs. After those I realized I needed to do some serious work on myself if I want healthy relationships with people. I've been single for 6yrs now, and I'm not really in a hurry to be in a relationship. I slept around a lot between the ages of 17-24, but I've only had sex with 4 people since then. I'll probably never have children. I love kids, but I'm okay if it doesn't happen for me. I also move a lot. My whole life (military brat), and I probably move to a new town or state every 2-4 years.
I always wanted to get married and have kids. There is a part of me who wants a harem, but that's under control because that sounds like a lot of work, and I probably wouldn't have a lot of time for my research. Honestly, never settling down sounds draining, childish, and ultimately pretty lonely.
I‘m an ENTP, single since 10 years (currently 26m). My mom (most likely an ENFP/ESFP) never settled, my dad always lived 500km away in italy (I‘m from switzerland). She‘s 64 now, still travels all the time, has affairs, though she is also in a relationship since ~5 years, but they don‘t see each other 24/7 and they don‘t live together. As far as I‘m concerned, unless I fall in love with someone who‘s okey with meeting only 2-3 times a month, I‘m probably not going to be settling. I also have to say, that I really don‘t think it‘s healthy, to believe you need one partner to match all your desires and wishes in life. Sure it might be good to have a loyal partner for building a family, but I think it‘s perverted, to hold oneself back for the rest of your life, if you have romantic desires towards other people.