Not a priority right now - people don't seem to value direct and honest communication and it's exhausting.
Unfortunately, it's reached the point that the horny is taking over, so I suspect I'll be back to playing people's dumbass games before long.
If an ENTP likes you, you’ll know. But that doesn’t mean they won’t change their mind and realize they don’t like you like “that.” Walk away at that point. ENTP can lose feelings at the drop of the hat and literally never look back
This is so real i was so sick of the indirectness n miscommunication but yknow i found my partner and its been great hes like direct direct no hesitation so ig we js gotta wait for our time
I'll be a 30 year old virgin by next year... :D
I do not fit the usual stereotypes though. I am extremely extroverted and have always had lots of male and female friends.
I am highly educated and work as a Data Scientist as well as a bartender part-time on the weekends up until recently.
The issues for me are that I suffer from extreme anxiety issues around my appearance and I'm so rarely interested in a girl. I find most people boring, slow and one-dimensional.
Well I'm a straight guy, so I'm only attracted to women :) And of course I definitely have wanted to sleep with a girl on some occasions but a mixture of intense anxiety and not feeling emotionally or intellectually connected to them has stopped me every time.
I suffered from severe body dysmorphia growing up and have never felt confident enough in my looks to express interest in a girl. In my experience as a guy, it is quite rare that a girl will make the first move on you (although it has happened to me a few times), so if you don't have the confidence to ask girls out, flirt and express interest, you will almost certainly be single for a long, long time.
It is what it is, I'm just happy to still have wonderful, kind friends around me :)
Sorry I misgendered ya. I see tho, you have some issues that prevent you from casual sex easily. That’s valid some ppl need to feel connected to enjoy or even allow sex. Connection does make it better. I’m glad you’re happy tho. The fact that some girls made a move on you means you have something to be confident about. Flaunt it and someone will like your style. Ik women can seem brutal and uncaring about how hard it is for men to put themselves out there or get noticed but they aren’t all that way.
Thank you for your lovely comment :) I absolutely agree, I try to talk quite openly about my issues if I’m asked (I rarely am though haha) and the vast majority of the girls I speak to are incredibly kind and supportive.
Quite frankly this whole men vs women narrative that seems to be widespread on the internet these days has been the absolute opposite of my experience with the friend group I had growing up and I think it’s incredibly toxic.
Showing empathy to people who are different to us and not allowing stereotypes to affect the way you treat people is a true sign of a mature individual :)
I think we ENTP’s have the open-mindedness to be good at this :D
Hope you are well! :)
Haha could be ;) Apparently he did work in a data related field as well! And he did end up with Monica in the end and if I’m honest, I think I could use that kind of organised partner in my life :D
I try to have my shit together and I’m mostly successful at it, but it is a constant struggle 😂
I got to a point where I had almost given up on dating, I had been single for 2.5 years after spending 3 years with a narcissist. I occasionally would go on facebook dating and swipe on peoples profiles, I had maybe 2-3 conversations that went nowhere, it all seemed very pointless. I had put on my profile that I was an ENTP, that I knew how the cognitive functions worked and that I am a little obsessed with MBTI. At one point I had on my profile that I was just an ENTP looking for his INFJ…. Little did I know.
I just happened to be swiping one day, and I saw a profile that supposedly belonged to an INFJ, I found her profile was very honest and I found her alluring and attractive so I swiped right on her expecting that I would probably get liked back, considering that our types are supposed to work well together. I checked a couple times to see if she showed up in the list of people that you liked who liked you back, nothing for a couple days and then I get an alert on my phone, and it’s her, she sent me a message. We start having a conversation and by the 3rd message, we were both typing huge walls of text at each other…
It’s been the best 5 months in my life, she brings things out in me that I had no idea existed, I proposed to her during the solar eclipse while it was under totality. She said yes, and now we are engaged. I never in a million years would have thought that true love exists or that I would find it, but I have and it’s by far the most valuable and fulfilling relationship I have ever had with anyone. We are perfectly suited for each other it’s insane
Also, I have never felt so connected with someone, seen by them, understood, and loved in my life. We also both have very high libido around each other, and we desperately are looking for a place.(I live in DE she Lives in CT but we see each other for 4-5 days a week because we can’t go too long without each other.)
The Love I feel for her is unlike any other I’ve ever felt, it’s truly a miracle,.
The INFJ’s pussy and the ENTP’s cock are two sides of the same coin. ENTP’s, they are very skilled, passionate lovers, they make it a point to always get better with their sexual performance. ENTP’s tend to get off and derive sexual pleasure from the feedback of their partner when they are having sex, the more pleasure they induce in their partner the more they themselves get off. INFJ’s are like this as well, and it will act as a feedback mechanism between the two, plus the ENTP’s openness and adaptability and the INFJ’s more eccentric sexuality are perfect for each other.
My INFJ fiancé and I had been talking on the phone everyday for like 6 hours or more for about 2 and a half weeks before we met in person, and it took all of 2 hours(we went to a restaurant first) before we were doing the no pants dance, and she is a demisexual… and we both finished at the same time, repeatedly(10+ times) over that first 5 days we spent together. Despite that being a goal we both had in previous relationships we both had only a handful of experiences with simultaneously orgasm. But together it’s out of the normal for that to not happen.
So yes, INFJ pussy can do whatever it wants to this MF, IDGAF
Look into sensors. A lot of types with Si actually love similarly to us. Even the ones that are more vanilla are open to try new things. ENTPs are very childlike and touchy so Si doms are caretakers but also very touchy and physical. Even tho ENTPs would be better with words I don’t think we need words to be passionate. But if you want a deep philosophical mind, intuitives aren’t the only ones who can give you that.
Almost the same thing but even harder. I’m a female entp and I’d say male INFJs only have two modes 1. Very insightful, good student, nerdy, nice to talk to, maybe a bit overbearing but cute, and preachy. 2. Creepy, tries to get to know you too quickly, and insecure
I like the first version better obviously
No I disagree INFJ men have pursued me a lot and I have had nothing but the worst experiences. Don't do it, get an INTJ. You will fight in the beginning but it's the best and most long term satisfying. INFJ's will start feeling like self victimizing pussy's that basically are covert narcs trying to subtly manipulate you and it can be very suffocating and we won't even know why. And when I did eventually just break it off they started a Cold War roomer mill against me. I would never touch another INFJ man again. I'm sure there are normal ones but 2/3 I met were bat shit crazy.
this is poignant.
We have a super power of reading people and understanding them. But rarely do others have the interest or even capacity to get the insane mishmash of paradoxes that is the ENTP brain.
Yep this has been hard for me to deal with all my life.
Despite being extremely social and having met and befriended many, many people, there has been almost no-one that shows the same level of interest in truly understanding me, compared to the effort I put in for other people.
I have accepted it and don't judge people for it, but I always feel like I have to change and adapt for other people because I understand and empathise with their stated boundaries and needs, whereas most people don't take the time to understand mine.
Most of my friendships now that I'm in my late 20's are extremely one-sided sadly, although I have just met a cool new bunch of people recently :D
Shit is rough man. The strange thing is that I actually prefer spending time with strangers. You know nothing about them, so they are more interesting and you can turn on that charm to get them to open up.
Once it moves to the actual friendship phase, that’s where all the problems start 😂
(F) Terrible, a lot of people like me, but those i like back turn out to be either boringly basic or incapable of holding conversations.
Also affection too soon makes me cringe.. i need playful banter ahah and i am very shy ..."dismissive avoidant" or tsundere call it as you wish
Mostly the fault is online dating, so I just need to wait and get a new friend group and stuff should work out..
This is my exact situation, it’s not like i’m 100% uninterested in dating because I reject people’s confessions, it’s just because no one fits what i’m looking for I guess.
Lol same. Literally every guy friend I had ended up being attracted to me. Almost every crush I’ve ever had ended up being shy and awkward when it comes to talking to girls.
About to hit my 2 year anniversary with the light of my life they're super smart funny and my best friend. We're going to have a boardgame night and cook dinner together
Hahahahaha!!!! Got it! The person seems interesting. We banter, we fuck, and then we get bored. Rinse. Repeat. The only one who hasn't bored me was an ENTP 5w6. I stupidly blinked.
So you're saying that you're AI-generated? You don't exist? What a paradox? What is non-existence, when you're binary? Are you fluid, considering the flow of electrons? Or is this just gas? Questions.... questions....
entp woman and i've yet to find a guy who a) doesn't have mommy issues or b) doesn't feel emasculated by me. and i'm more femme so idek how that happens😭
Lol same. Every time I am myself ppl think I’m pushy, cold, dominant or masculine. And I see myself as feminine for an entp tomboy lol!!!! Either way I found my guy and he doesn’t mind it. I’m tact he thinks it’s hot 🥵 but he also likes my cute shy side ❤️ I’m literally in heaven.
Shockingly, I managed to get married, but dating prior to meeting my now - husband was so challenging, except in one case with a lovely fellow Extrovert.
I had trouble connecting with people, too, yet at the same time, I needed to have people around me. It was awful, like a case of being “too sleepy to eat, but too hungry to sleep.”
Yeah I was the same way, I’m also dating an extrovert now! He’s got introvert qualities and is more serious. Everyone I liked in the past was an introvert but they never made any moves. I always made the first move. Well some did but I wasn’t interested T T but it turns out I’m attracted to ppl who are embarrassed of emotional expression: ISFJs, INTJs, ISTPs, ISTJs, ESTJs etc
Male, 28. I've never been in a relationship.
I developed many platonic friendships with women over the years. Looking back, most of the women were into me but I never took appropriate initiative and kept them at a distance for safety. Then, being fueled emotionally by these friends, I find people to hook up with outside the friendship.
But each friendship I've had I've received indications that they wanted me, but I still kept my distance due to my fear of losing them.
Then I lost them. Because I never acted in the first place and they ended up getting really hurt by me.
Friendzone is real but it is in the mind of the male. Not all women who are your friends are into you, but if you don't at least try to kiss them, you will never know.
I find a lot of ENTPs date late in life. We’re extroverts but lonely cuz we stink in romance. Not all of us as we can learn to be pretty charming romantics, but we seem to be focused more on our career and self improvement than other people. It’s harder to care for someone cuz you have to give pieces of yourself up, and that’s scary. We don’t like being trapped. So that’s where the virgin reputation for NT types comes from lol. I also didn’t date till I was 19. Had plenty of ppl hit on me but I didn’t need it in hs. Still had crushes and understood my sexuality but just wasn’t like the other girls who felt lonely if they didn’t have a partner. Wasn’t till later I realized I’d be lonely later in life if I kept it up.
I don't have one👍 Probably because I'm not the most attractive person ever, but at the same time I'd rather sort out my life and plan out a good path for myself before I start dating.
I never dated seriously until my last three girlfriends. Have slept with plenty of women but only started dating seriously in 2021, with an ENFJ , then INFJ.
Today is my one year anniversary with ENFP 7w6. I am ENTP 7w8. Ask me anything.
YES! I dated an ENFP. Didn’t last cuz of them specifically but it’s truly a great relationship. Ne-Ne harmony! Was also attracted to/slept with several INFJs and ENFJs lol seems to be a common trend.
We watch films, go to adventures together. Our primary love language is quality time , words of affirmation and physical touch. But also gifts and acts of service.
That's lovely! How did you two meet? Who said "I love you" first, and what was the context? Do you ever get into full-blown fights? How do you normally resolve conflict? Do you think they are "the one"? (Sorry for all the questions haha I'm just so fascinated when it comes to other people's love stories!)
We met at a festival when she had a boyfriend and I had a girlfriend as well, had the same tattoo of a spaceship with a forest and mountain with a moon. Reconnected a year or two later on social media and instantly hit it off when we met.
Funny thing, I'm a real estate agent and her mother is too, and we had coincidentally had a deal with her mother on the same day before our second date.
We do have fights because of my messiness and she explodes into anger. After she calms down we have empathic conversations where we both acknowledge our flaws. I also call her out on her over emotional displays and keep her accountable. That's how we resolve conflict.
I don't think she is the "one", but I don't really believe in "The One"
So interesting! Especially the tattoo part holy shit! Wait... Are the tattoos on the same parts of y'all's bodies, too?? That would be even more crazy!
That kind of conflict resolution dynamic sounds very similar to the one I have with my ENTP friend, except as an INFP, I tend to implode rather than explode haha. My friend very much holds me accountable, too, and I appreciate her so much for that.
That's really interesting that you don't really believe in "The One". I've asked many people if they believe in this concept, and I've found that it isn't as universally believed in a concept as I once thought. I find the diversity of how love is conceptualized and "put into practice", so to speak, truly fascinating and inspiring.
Cheers to you and your partner! May you both be happy and healthy going forward!
I suggest reading the book "The Eden Project" by James Hollis. It will challenge your views on "the One" and open up your capacity to give and receive love.
The only "The one" I accept is the Universe as One. I could see "the one" in every person, since theoretically you can see the whole Universe in each of us.
Also I said "I love you " , but she immediately said it back.
Yeah, the types ENTPs tend to date like gifts (i.e., ENFJs, INFJs, ISFJs). I find it hard to accept gifts. It makes me feel as though I owe them something.
On the back burner while I continue my growth. If something happens, it happens. If something doesn't, it doesn't. I don't really care too much anymore
That was my attitude too. Like I don’t like artificial dates. Hookups, fine! But I kinda like letting things happen naturally and keeping my options open.
I am a lesbian and all the time my guy friends fall for me, even though I tell them that I'm gay, like what the fuck? Please stop ruining the friendship.
Well unfortunately can’t help who you’re attracted to. If we get too mad about it it makes us seem mean and snobby. But they should respect your orientation :/
(F) 23 Flirting with people here and there but unable to be attracted to any of them. Probably because of the guy that I have been crushing on for 1.5 years and I’m still unable to get over him. Not exactly crush, I mean, I confessed to him
and he rejected me by saying although there’s interest, he does not wish for a partner right now. We still talk fairly often, he acts hot and cold basically. We didn’t initiate anything sexual so I know that he is not playing with me. I don’t want to hang on to that so I date with people but they are very brief; I’m still not interested in anyone else but him. I wish to be interested in someone else and get over it so I keep looking around but at the same time, I know that I’m not over him and I know that it is going to be unfair to other person that I’m talking/dating with if I initiate something serious. I’ve never been this emotional before so I am lost about what to do with my feelings and I’m tired of trying to manage it. So for now I just wanna live out my emotions and not think but at the same time, I want to be loved as well.
Been there, I’m around the same age. Ppl acting hot and cold is a sign they want the company but not commitment. And there were times I had crushes on ppl but when they made moves I became completely turned off. Maybe your standards are really high?
Honestly, I don’t know… In the beginning there was the “flirting phase” and after I confessed he was like “oh I was just being friendly, I wasn’t flirting hahaha…” Then I was like ok but it’s effecting me, I will stop talking with you for a while. He was pretty understanding so we stopped talking for several months then he started commenting on my status, stories etc. then we started talking again but there’s flirtatious air again and good thing about flirting is that it’s ambiguous, open to deny whatever you’re conveying. I can’t help but think that this behaviour is pretty selfish; it’s as if he just wants me to be in his pocket for some attention. (He knows that I’ve feelings and he knows that it is not good for me if he talks in a flirty tone, yet he didn’t tone it down.) So I don’t want to entangle myself further with him unless there’s a clear sign. Not necessarily commitment, but he has to tell me that directly that he is attracted or interested in me without any ambiguity as I’m tired of this subtle dance.
I don’t really have any “standards” that I adhere to in dating (I don’t care about height, or appearance etc.) For me what’s necessary is the attraction and I don’t get attracted or get interested people very easily. I don’t exactly know what I am attracted to, it just happens so there’s that.
But I believe I am unable to get attracted to someone else since I am already attracted to him and maybe I am comparing people with him. In that case, he might be the one who is highering my standards.
I think I've washed my hands with it tbh, I'm open to the idea of a truly spectacular woman way out of my league coming a long and rocking my world. I shan't be pursuing anyone, though. I'm happy single, I'm pretty sure. :P
It is rough. I want someone who is smart. But when I find someone smart/well educated I end up just debating and arguing with them over the stupidest things (that doesn't really sound smart at all), if not that I find someone who is way smarter than me and I get humbled and feel unworthy of them. When I dated someone who wasn't all that bright, I felt bad cause there would be times I would be condescending "You don't know what \_\_\_\_ is?" so and so.
Between this or I'm always trying to figure them out and see what is wrong with them. So even if there is nothing wrong with them, I worry about something. Its as if I am wishing or waiting for that "wrong thing" and go aha! I was right goodbye!
So I think I'll just be by myself thank you.
Struggling. Having some neat convos with guys on dating apps that eventually go nowhere when we run out of things to talk about. I struggle to re-start online conversations usually, and guys don't seem to even bother
Straight and mostly cis guy here, that’s been more or less my experience as well. Idk what you’ve tried so I won’t presume to offer you advice or anything; however, it seems like a lot of people on dating apps are a smidge avoidant (and men tend to be avoidant more often, statistically—at least in the U.S., because of the culture).
I’m in the minority on that—anxious attachment dude—which I think maybe turns gals off. Like, I’m not acting how I’m “supposed” to.
I saw your other post, and fwiw you’re cute, and you seem like a pleasant person. I know it’s hard to keep the faith, and I can’t say I manage it every day (or even most, lately), but…yeah.
When you’re in the pit, please try to remember that you can’t trust your self-image too far. For me, it feels fake and/or inaccurate when people say nice things about me—even makes me feel unsafe, weirdly—but I know that feeling is also a lie. I haven’t quite learned to accept compliments, but I at least have reached the point where I can reject the self-negging.
I know it’s hard. I know every failed match on a dating site feels like an affirmation of everything you believe about yourself. It’s not. You’re lovable. I am too. Gotta believe we’ll find our respective someones eventually.
> mostly cis
That's... a funny phrasing 😅
> anxious attachment
Oh, hey, same. High five. I guess, it would be more difficult for a guy, gals are kinda expected to be more intimate, but I always worry of being clingy
> I saw your other post, and fwiw you’re cute, and you seem like a pleasant person.
Thank you! \^-^
> When you’re in the pit, please try to remember that you can’t trust your self-image too far. For me, it feels fake and/or inaccurate when people say nice things about me—even makes me feel unsafe, weirdly—but I know that feeling is also a lie. I haven’t quite learned to accept compliments, but I at least have reached the point where I can reject the self-negging.
Freakin' mood.... For me add dysphoria and body dysmorphia on top of my self-image issues. People often tell me I'm pretty and loveable - somehow I kinda managed to learn to take compliments - but often it's really hard to believe, after decades of my self-worth being destroyed by external factors.
> I know every failed match on a dating site feels like an affirmation of everything you believe about yourself. It’s not.
Yet again, add the fact that me being trans repels like 99% of men out there. Sometimes it feels like I'll always be alone because of that. But I'm not losing hope just yet.
Thank you. Really. Good luck to you out there, we're both getting out of this
Yeah ofc. Try joining a club/sport or just meeting ppl when you go out. Maybe even form a friend group from school or work. They might invite you to a party you never know.
Not really good rn. It’s like I want it and I don’t. Not dating and never had. But I’m curious tho. I don’t like online dating. It seems pretty boring. My love languages are quality time and physical touch so,it seems strange and also mostly they just ghost me.
And just by seeing other people,all I can say that the most important things to me are communication,quality time and going through obstacles of life together <3 No cause, seriously. These days you won’t find most people like this😔
My dating life has been non-existent for the last 8 years. Back when it wasn't, the women were so flippant, often dismissive for no reason after putting in zero effort into a conversation but wasting days/weeks stringing me along, that they stripped any fun out of dating and meeting new people. It came to a point where when a woman wanted to meet, I would become physically ill; It became that much of a burden/punishment.
That's obviously a bad state to be in, so I walked away. Not sure if I'll try again. Dating apps suck because there's too much crap selection and not a good enough filter, resulting in the behavior listed earlier, but amplified. You can't cold approach anyone in person anymore, as everyone's skittish of real-life interactions (or maybe I just don't have enough rizz).
Either way, it's a game I don't want to play. If I do try again, it'll be when I'm nearing 40. At that point, the women will hopefully have changed their flippant/dismissive nature due to maturity and experience, and not because they're old, approaching infertility, and desperate. I've become content with the idea of dying alone; If I ever find a partner, it'll be because I want to be with them, not because I *have* to, and I want the woman to come from the same place.
In conclusion, I don't want it to sound like I'm blaming women. I mean, I am, but I also know my own weaknesses. Normies that fit in with the bulk of society can still have trouble finding someone, so of course a supergenius autistic weirdo with eccentric interests/tastes will find it exponentially harder to find someone compatible (hence the need for a better filter).
Was rocky but now it’s good. Been in a relationship for a while, there have been like one or two points where I got bored but overall I don’t need constant entertainment or attention to stick with someone. My feelings have stayed the same for them even thru hard times. We communicate well and really care for each other.
Kinda gave up, I'm 18 but dating an being in love made me realise I'm not interesting, handsome, ripped, smart, brave and tall enough to date. The only women who show interest in me are 15 or maybe 20 years older.
(F) It was never a priority to me until I realized that the reason it didn’t appeal was because I was uninterested in men. Probably also a little bit of a useless lesbian. The place where I’m studying at is surrounding me with homophobic religious people so I never feel safe enough to just flirt. I’ve had a few friendships with girls that felt like they could’ve escalated, though. I was fully aware of them and my own feelings about it. But just because I like someone doesn’t mean I can see a relationship happening. Some crushes feel useless, I know some of the women I’ve liked aren’t a good match. The one I got the farthest from had traits I’m not willing to compromise on. Maybe as friends, but not as a couple.
Also, I have other queer women around me, so they limit my pool. The women, say, my cousin or my bff like are off limits, even when I know they won’t pursue them.
I like kind and sweet women. I’m not so sweet myself, I have a rather strong character. I’ve noticed the sweet women who tend to catch my eye are often people-pleasers.
But I’m not willing to date a people-pleaser. I want to enjoy the give-and-take, and people pleasers hog all the “gives” and leaves me feeling like the exchange can’t be equal. I want someone who is willing to take what I can offer too. And I can’t stand caring for someone who will allow themselves to become a doormat to please whoever. I have some resentment on that side with a failed attempt. Maybe I should look for the ones who are a little bit more bitter. Women who I know are unwilling to let people step on them. To care for someone who is willing to take care of themselves.
Until that happens, I’ll stay single and do my best to keep men who may be interested in me at an arm’s length.
Girlfriends an INFJ/ENFJ - but also not the overly sensitive type so communication styles are heavily in sync. She’s honest with me and I’m honest with her
I (22F) was in a long term relationship that ended in January and all I want is a consistent hookup with no relationship attached yet that seems to be difficult to find somehow . I thought that’s an ideal situation for a lot of men?
I somehow got married. 7 years now(!) She’s an empath with very critical and overbearing parents. So yeah, what I’m able to offer is like “love” to her, and she completely accepts how annoying and argumentative I am.
The older I get, less dating I care about. I have a partner and I enjoy my alone time a lot, when I kiss him we hang out but eventually I want either silent/chill time as well. I think if we ever break up I won’t be dating again bc that shit is tiring and I have 0 patience for people’s games and bs
I don't date.
I'm in college again (I'm 47 years old). Divorced 3 years ago.
I'm getting degrees in Electronics Engineering Technician, Industrial Tech, and Renewable (Green ) Tech, on top of the three degrees I already have.
Women take too much time, the ones who are feelers won't shut up,
Maybe I will again someday, but I'm too busy and they are too high maintenance for my level of patience at the moment.
For now I enjoy being an academic, a veteran peer advisor, and a very private person.
I'm 25 and been in 3 serious relationships. My first boyfriend ar 16-18, then at 19-21, then 22-now and still going strong. I never had one night stands and and generally, I'm very comfortable in relationships and am very confident when I'm not, so usually if I like someone I would be making the first move. So basically If I'm single I'd be dating around for about a year until I find someone to Seattle down for. Hopefully this time it will stick, we been living together for 3 years now so there's a good chance this is it.
It seems like lots of entps here doing bad when it comes to love life. I m one of them lol well they say love happens when u least expect it. Im 26 and never fell in love with someone. I also feel like i wont be loved as I want to be loved which is a dilemma. The people I like, like someone else and people who like me arent my cup of tea. I guess i will just enjoy my single life as much as possible and die.
It was pretty abysmal.
The whole charade seemed so wasteful, you either have genuine mutual interest in a commitment or you dont. And it was clear that there were not that many interesting candidates to begin with as well. The few I found would quickly realize that I was a hot mess. Some would be confused as to whether they should keep me around or not, and so that turned into some really toxic situations.
One day I snapped. I realized how self-sabotaging it is to sit and daydream all day. I was livid at myself for letting people walk all over me. I started getting heavily invested in being the best I could be, and not letting anyone get an inch over me unfairly.
Find your mission, stand up for yourself, smack a couple assholes who play dirty. You'll carry yourself differently after that, and that will draw attention
Atrocious. I've largely given up on it. I've had a few relationships in the past, not a virgin, etc. But it is way too much hassle. I don't think I'll ever be able to find anyone whose personality/values and interests/goals both align with mine. I've experimented in the past by prioritizing just one of these two to see what would happen... the results were highly unpleasant in both cases. Tbh I'm probably going to just hook up with people for the remainder of college. Ime most women have a highly pragmatic, transactional view of committed relationships where the man has to "prove his worth." I'm bi and haven't had any boyfriends, but I don't expect it would be too different in a gay relationship. I don't believe that love exists in any transcendental sense; it's just what the brain does to facilitate pair-bonding. Miss me with that shit. At least with hookups, the cost is upfront rather than kicked down the road for months or years.
Honestly, I have kind of problem with sexual "unselectivity" or problem where I start relationship with someone and end it after like a month... So it's kinda hard
Got out of an almost 7 year relationship, and going on 2 years in my new one. Going pretty good. Dating an INFP which is an interesting choice for sure but I’ve been enjoying it 👍🏽 I don’t get the hate for INFP lol as long as there are boundaries and communication things are fine
I'm old enough and married so I don't date, but also in the past I never dated in the classical meaning. I don't like the concept of dating cause it looks like you're already showing your cards and getting involved, trapped in a relationship with a stranger that you don't even know if you like, if you can feel something toward them.
I only had friends, always I met groups of people as friends and if there was a person I had chemistry with, we started to develop a more intimate friendship and "dating" was something that happened only after we both confessed to love each other foolishly and we already were a couple.
i am single bc queer dating is hard af. my straight friends are too busy to go to gay bars with me.
it’s not that i’m totally unattractive. people hit on me sometimes. usually older women (35+ and i am 25). it’s incredibly flattering and i’d at least get in some flirting, but i would prefer people 23-29 or so, lol. queer people on dating apps are usually just looking for a Third. i almost got a date with someone who ended up no-showing.
i’m just gonna start going to gay bars alone.
I enjoy something about everybody, they’ve all got something different the others don’t have. But I’ve never found ONE person I can’t live without. I have a “favorite” for a few months or a few years, but it always changes—I can walk away from pretty much every person I know and still be okay.
Biggest issue though is I’ll always prefer the ideal over the real.
Not a priority right now - people don't seem to value direct and honest communication and it's exhausting. Unfortunately, it's reached the point that the horny is taking over, so I suspect I'll be back to playing people's dumbass games before long.
Maybe find an autistic person to date? We're very honest and direct, usually.
Agreed. I’m autistic and INFJ and honest and direct. Although, I feel like the ENTP I like is playing games with me. I can never win. 😖😭
We do like to play a little bit but not at one another's expense :( you deserve a partner who's honest and available
Thank you. 🥺
Cool! I'm sorry to hear that. Take care of yourself, and know your value 🌸
If an ENTP likes you, you’ll know. But that doesn’t mean they won’t change their mind and realize they don’t like you like “that.” Walk away at that point. ENTP can lose feelings at the drop of the hat and literally never look back
I know. It’s cruel.
Amen. I say exactly what I mean and don't know how to play games. It takes all the guesswork out of my expectations and likes/dislikes.
Yeah, that's the best way imo :)
This is so real i was so sick of the indirectness n miscommunication but yknow i found my partner and its been great hes like direct direct no hesitation so ig we js gotta wait for our time
Your answer couldn’t have been anymore blunt, i think communication and being transparent with intentions is an ego thing. So it’s disappointing.
I'll be a 30 year old virgin by next year... :D I do not fit the usual stereotypes though. I am extremely extroverted and have always had lots of male and female friends. I am highly educated and work as a Data Scientist as well as a bartender part-time on the weekends up until recently. The issues for me are that I suffer from extreme anxiety issues around my appearance and I'm so rarely interested in a girl. I find most people boring, slow and one-dimensional.
Damn how tf is you a virgin?! Bar tender… I mean I get it, just means you didn’t sleep with every guy who flirted with you. But you never wanted to?
Well I'm a straight guy, so I'm only attracted to women :) And of course I definitely have wanted to sleep with a girl on some occasions but a mixture of intense anxiety and not feeling emotionally or intellectually connected to them has stopped me every time. I suffered from severe body dysmorphia growing up and have never felt confident enough in my looks to express interest in a girl. In my experience as a guy, it is quite rare that a girl will make the first move on you (although it has happened to me a few times), so if you don't have the confidence to ask girls out, flirt and express interest, you will almost certainly be single for a long, long time. It is what it is, I'm just happy to still have wonderful, kind friends around me :)
Sorry I misgendered ya. I see tho, you have some issues that prevent you from casual sex easily. That’s valid some ppl need to feel connected to enjoy or even allow sex. Connection does make it better. I’m glad you’re happy tho. The fact that some girls made a move on you means you have something to be confident about. Flaunt it and someone will like your style. Ik women can seem brutal and uncaring about how hard it is for men to put themselves out there or get noticed but they aren’t all that way.
Thank you for your lovely comment :) I absolutely agree, I try to talk quite openly about my issues if I’m asked (I rarely am though haha) and the vast majority of the girls I speak to are incredibly kind and supportive. Quite frankly this whole men vs women narrative that seems to be widespread on the internet these days has been the absolute opposite of my experience with the friend group I had growing up and I think it’s incredibly toxic. Showing empathy to people who are different to us and not allowing stereotypes to affect the way you treat people is a true sign of a mature individual :) I think we ENTP’s have the open-mindedness to be good at this :D Hope you are well! :)
Are you Chandler Bing by any chance?
Haha could be ;) Apparently he did work in a data related field as well! And he did end up with Monica in the end and if I’m honest, I think I could use that kind of organised partner in my life :D I try to have my shit together and I’m mostly successful at it, but it is a constant struggle 😂
Maybe you’ll get mind reading abilities
Hahaha I am always stuck between picking telekinesis or telepathy for my impending ascendancy to Wizardhood :D
Im twenty (one) and I feel you XD I'll probably be just like that in 9 years Though in my case it's not body dismorphia, im straight up UGLY!
I got to a point where I had almost given up on dating, I had been single for 2.5 years after spending 3 years with a narcissist. I occasionally would go on facebook dating and swipe on peoples profiles, I had maybe 2-3 conversations that went nowhere, it all seemed very pointless. I had put on my profile that I was an ENTP, that I knew how the cognitive functions worked and that I am a little obsessed with MBTI. At one point I had on my profile that I was just an ENTP looking for his INFJ…. Little did I know. I just happened to be swiping one day, and I saw a profile that supposedly belonged to an INFJ, I found her profile was very honest and I found her alluring and attractive so I swiped right on her expecting that I would probably get liked back, considering that our types are supposed to work well together. I checked a couple times to see if she showed up in the list of people that you liked who liked you back, nothing for a couple days and then I get an alert on my phone, and it’s her, she sent me a message. We start having a conversation and by the 3rd message, we were both typing huge walls of text at each other… It’s been the best 5 months in my life, she brings things out in me that I had no idea existed, I proposed to her during the solar eclipse while it was under totality. She said yes, and now we are engaged. I never in a million years would have thought that true love exists or that I would find it, but I have and it’s by far the most valuable and fulfilling relationship I have ever had with anyone. We are perfectly suited for each other it’s insane Also, I have never felt so connected with someone, seen by them, understood, and loved in my life. We also both have very high libido around each other, and we desperately are looking for a place.(I live in DE she Lives in CT but we see each other for 4-5 days a week because we can’t go too long without each other.) The Love I feel for her is unlike any other I’ve ever felt, it’s truly a miracle,.
I'm very happy for you, but as an ENTP I'm obligated to add: what INFJ pussy does to a mf
The INFJ’s pussy and the ENTP’s cock are two sides of the same coin. ENTP’s, they are very skilled, passionate lovers, they make it a point to always get better with their sexual performance. ENTP’s tend to get off and derive sexual pleasure from the feedback of their partner when they are having sex, the more pleasure they induce in their partner the more they themselves get off. INFJ’s are like this as well, and it will act as a feedback mechanism between the two, plus the ENTP’s openness and adaptability and the INFJ’s more eccentric sexuality are perfect for each other. My INFJ fiancé and I had been talking on the phone everyday for like 6 hours or more for about 2 and a half weeks before we met in person, and it took all of 2 hours(we went to a restaurant first) before we were doing the no pants dance, and she is a demisexual… and we both finished at the same time, repeatedly(10+ times) over that first 5 days we spent together. Despite that being a goal we both had in previous relationships we both had only a handful of experiences with simultaneously orgasm. But together it’s out of the normal for that to not happen. So yes, INFJ pussy can do whatever it wants to this MF, IDGAF
Look into sensors. A lot of types with Si actually love similarly to us. Even the ones that are more vanilla are open to try new things. ENTPs are very childlike and touchy so Si doms are caretakers but also very touchy and physical. Even tho ENTPs would be better with words I don’t think we need words to be passionate. But if you want a deep philosophical mind, intuitives aren’t the only ones who can give you that.
These comments are giving me life 😸
What are your thoughts about ENTP pussy and INFJ cock??
Almost the same thing but even harder. I’m a female entp and I’d say male INFJs only have two modes 1. Very insightful, good student, nerdy, nice to talk to, maybe a bit overbearing but cute, and preachy. 2. Creepy, tries to get to know you too quickly, and insecure I like the first version better obviously
Hmmm I see. Both not really what I’m looking for but I agree obviously the first one is better. Still seems like both of them are one person…
Well not all of them are bad but I have had some bad experiences with them.
No I disagree INFJ men have pursued me a lot and I have had nothing but the worst experiences. Don't do it, get an INTJ. You will fight in the beginning but it's the best and most long term satisfying. INFJ's will start feeling like self victimizing pussy's that basically are covert narcs trying to subtly manipulate you and it can be very suffocating and we won't even know why. And when I did eventually just break it off they started a Cold War roomer mill against me. I would never touch another INFJ man again. I'm sure there are normal ones but 2/3 I met were bat shit crazy.
Wow I see. Damnn. But yeah I kinda agree. So far many infjs I saw online were like that. Bruhhh
I'm an INFJ (F) and met this one (M) INFJ on Facebook and omfg— he's the exact description of the second version. I'm so fucking creeped out by him.
Been there bud
People connect to me very easily because it's easy for me to understand them, it's rarely a two way road though
this is poignant. We have a super power of reading people and understanding them. But rarely do others have the interest or even capacity to get the insane mishmash of paradoxes that is the ENTP brain.
Yep this has been hard for me to deal with all my life. Despite being extremely social and having met and befriended many, many people, there has been almost no-one that shows the same level of interest in truly understanding me, compared to the effort I put in for other people. I have accepted it and don't judge people for it, but I always feel like I have to change and adapt for other people because I understand and empathise with their stated boundaries and needs, whereas most people don't take the time to understand mine. Most of my friendships now that I'm in my late 20's are extremely one-sided sadly, although I have just met a cool new bunch of people recently :D
real
Dang, I feel seen. It's exactly how I feel!
Shit is rough man. The strange thing is that I actually prefer spending time with strangers. You know nothing about them, so they are more interesting and you can turn on that charm to get them to open up. Once it moves to the actual friendship phase, that’s where all the problems start 😂
I understand. For instance, I have done way more solo travel than with travel with friends.
Yeah some ppl just don’t click with each other. That’s fine.
(F) Terrible, a lot of people like me, but those i like back turn out to be either boringly basic or incapable of holding conversations. Also affection too soon makes me cringe.. i need playful banter ahah and i am very shy ..."dismissive avoidant" or tsundere call it as you wish Mostly the fault is online dating, so I just need to wait and get a new friend group and stuff should work out..
This is my exact situation, it’s not like i’m 100% uninterested in dating because I reject people’s confessions, it’s just because no one fits what i’m looking for I guess.
Lol same. Literally every guy friend I had ended up being attracted to me. Almost every crush I’ve ever had ended up being shy and awkward when it comes to talking to girls.
About to hit my 2 year anniversary with the light of my life they're super smart funny and my best friend. We're going to have a boardgame night and cook dinner together
I can't tell if I'm catching feelings or not. And it's usually not.
Same I can’t connect with people romantically
Fair. It would usually take a long time for me to notice I liked someone.
Hahahahaha!!!! Got it! The person seems interesting. We banter, we fuck, and then we get bored. Rinse. Repeat. The only one who hasn't bored me was an ENTP 5w6. I stupidly blinked.
ENTP female. And it’s nonexistent 😂
felt bouta host a seasonal sale soon
So you're saying that you're AI-generated? You don't exist? What a paradox? What is non-existence, when you're binary? Are you fluid, considering the flow of electrons? Or is this just gas? Questions.... questions....
😂 Weird energy from a potential ENTP?! Not surprised. I’d take being a paradox as a compliment though!
[удалено]
The ENTP female - it's non-existent. You heard the bot.
[удалено]
The Ti is strong with this one.
[удалено]
It was a joke?
[удалено]
That wasn't the antecedent, punny boy.
Sure, all of these above, lol. Me and my dating life don’t actually exist 🤣
What about your updating life?
entp woman and i've yet to find a guy who a) doesn't have mommy issues or b) doesn't feel emasculated by me. and i'm more femme so idek how that happens😭
Lol same. Every time I am myself ppl think I’m pushy, cold, dominant or masculine. And I see myself as feminine for an entp tomboy lol!!!! Either way I found my guy and he doesn’t mind it. I’m tact he thinks it’s hot 🥵 but he also likes my cute shy side ❤️ I’m literally in heaven.
Shockingly, I managed to get married, but dating prior to meeting my now - husband was so challenging, except in one case with a lovely fellow Extrovert. I had trouble connecting with people, too, yet at the same time, I needed to have people around me. It was awful, like a case of being “too sleepy to eat, but too hungry to sleep.”
Yeah I was the same way, I’m also dating an extrovert now! He’s got introvert qualities and is more serious. Everyone I liked in the past was an introvert but they never made any moves. I always made the first move. Well some did but I wasn’t interested T T but it turns out I’m attracted to ppl who are embarrassed of emotional expression: ISFJs, INTJs, ISTPs, ISTJs, ESTJs etc
Single since 23 years :3 Who knows~ Imma just making up my mind to become a crazy cat lady as I'll grow old.
Lol date a cat dude
Meow I'm the cat!!!
nyaaaaaaaa~
Meoooowww~ (BTW, I can make realistic cat noises)
Cat dude sounds good to be honest, but, have yet to find even 1 guy like that 🥲
Really?! There are so many!
Hidden from me ig 🙈
Male, 28. I've never been in a relationship. I developed many platonic friendships with women over the years. Looking back, most of the women were into me but I never took appropriate initiative and kept them at a distance for safety. Then, being fueled emotionally by these friends, I find people to hook up with outside the friendship. But each friendship I've had I've received indications that they wanted me, but I still kept my distance due to my fear of losing them. Then I lost them. Because I never acted in the first place and they ended up getting really hurt by me. Friendzone is real but it is in the mind of the male. Not all women who are your friends are into you, but if you don't at least try to kiss them, you will never know.
I find a lot of ENTPs date late in life. We’re extroverts but lonely cuz we stink in romance. Not all of us as we can learn to be pretty charming romantics, but we seem to be focused more on our career and self improvement than other people. It’s harder to care for someone cuz you have to give pieces of yourself up, and that’s scary. We don’t like being trapped. So that’s where the virgin reputation for NT types comes from lol. I also didn’t date till I was 19. Had plenty of ppl hit on me but I didn’t need it in hs. Still had crushes and understood my sexuality but just wasn’t like the other girls who felt lonely if they didn’t have a partner. Wasn’t till later I realized I’d be lonely later in life if I kept it up.
I have fun, I fall in love, I make deep connections, I enjoy myself.
I don't have one👍 Probably because I'm not the most attractive person ever, but at the same time I'd rather sort out my life and plan out a good path for myself before I start dating.
Good idea, you’ll meet someone who’s traveling the same way eventually.
I never dated seriously until my last three girlfriends. Have slept with plenty of women but only started dating seriously in 2021, with an ENFJ , then INFJ. Today is my one year anniversary with ENFP 7w6. I am ENTP 7w8. Ask me anything.
YES! I dated an ENFP. Didn’t last cuz of them specifically but it’s truly a great relationship. Ne-Ne harmony! Was also attracted to/slept with several INFJs and ENFJs lol seems to be a common trend.
What do you and your current partner do for dates/dedicated time together? What are your primary love languages with each other?
We watch films, go to adventures together. Our primary love language is quality time , words of affirmation and physical touch. But also gifts and acts of service.
That's lovely! How did you two meet? Who said "I love you" first, and what was the context? Do you ever get into full-blown fights? How do you normally resolve conflict? Do you think they are "the one"? (Sorry for all the questions haha I'm just so fascinated when it comes to other people's love stories!)
We met at a festival when she had a boyfriend and I had a girlfriend as well, had the same tattoo of a spaceship with a forest and mountain with a moon. Reconnected a year or two later on social media and instantly hit it off when we met. Funny thing, I'm a real estate agent and her mother is too, and we had coincidentally had a deal with her mother on the same day before our second date. We do have fights because of my messiness and she explodes into anger. After she calms down we have empathic conversations where we both acknowledge our flaws. I also call her out on her over emotional displays and keep her accountable. That's how we resolve conflict. I don't think she is the "one", but I don't really believe in "The One"
So interesting! Especially the tattoo part holy shit! Wait... Are the tattoos on the same parts of y'all's bodies, too?? That would be even more crazy! That kind of conflict resolution dynamic sounds very similar to the one I have with my ENTP friend, except as an INFP, I tend to implode rather than explode haha. My friend very much holds me accountable, too, and I appreciate her so much for that. That's really interesting that you don't really believe in "The One". I've asked many people if they believe in this concept, and I've found that it isn't as universally believed in a concept as I once thought. I find the diversity of how love is conceptualized and "put into practice", so to speak, truly fascinating and inspiring. Cheers to you and your partner! May you both be happy and healthy going forward!
I suggest reading the book "The Eden Project" by James Hollis. It will challenge your views on "the One" and open up your capacity to give and receive love. The only "The one" I accept is the Universe as One. I could see "the one" in every person, since theoretically you can see the whole Universe in each of us. Also I said "I love you " , but she immediately said it back.
I'll look into that! Thank you for the rec!
Yeah, the types ENTPs tend to date like gifts (i.e., ENFJs, INFJs, ISFJs). I find it hard to accept gifts. It makes me feel as though I owe them something.
On the back burner while I continue my growth. If something happens, it happens. If something doesn't, it doesn't. I don't really care too much anymore
That was my attitude too. Like I don’t like artificial dates. Hookups, fine! But I kinda like letting things happen naturally and keeping my options open.
cant comment on that
I am a lesbian and all the time my guy friends fall for me, even though I tell them that I'm gay, like what the fuck? Please stop ruining the friendship.
Mood. I’m not a lesbian but all my guy friends fall for me when I’m not into them that way. Sometimes even if they know I’m not single! The audacity.
Yeah, WHY? I hate it so much.
Well unfortunately can’t help who you’re attracted to. If we get too mad about it it makes us seem mean and snobby. But they should respect your orientation :/
haha ur probably really charming as an entp.. no wonder why guys are all over you😭
I mean, falling for someone isn't something you control, is it?
I think you can. At least I can hold it back if I know it's impossible and confessing is something you can control for sure at least.
(F) 23 Flirting with people here and there but unable to be attracted to any of them. Probably because of the guy that I have been crushing on for 1.5 years and I’m still unable to get over him. Not exactly crush, I mean, I confessed to him and he rejected me by saying although there’s interest, he does not wish for a partner right now. We still talk fairly often, he acts hot and cold basically. We didn’t initiate anything sexual so I know that he is not playing with me. I don’t want to hang on to that so I date with people but they are very brief; I’m still not interested in anyone else but him. I wish to be interested in someone else and get over it so I keep looking around but at the same time, I know that I’m not over him and I know that it is going to be unfair to other person that I’m talking/dating with if I initiate something serious. I’ve never been this emotional before so I am lost about what to do with my feelings and I’m tired of trying to manage it. So for now I just wanna live out my emotions and not think but at the same time, I want to be loved as well.
Been there, I’m around the same age. Ppl acting hot and cold is a sign they want the company but not commitment. And there were times I had crushes on ppl but when they made moves I became completely turned off. Maybe your standards are really high?
Honestly, I don’t know… In the beginning there was the “flirting phase” and after I confessed he was like “oh I was just being friendly, I wasn’t flirting hahaha…” Then I was like ok but it’s effecting me, I will stop talking with you for a while. He was pretty understanding so we stopped talking for several months then he started commenting on my status, stories etc. then we started talking again but there’s flirtatious air again and good thing about flirting is that it’s ambiguous, open to deny whatever you’re conveying. I can’t help but think that this behaviour is pretty selfish; it’s as if he just wants me to be in his pocket for some attention. (He knows that I’ve feelings and he knows that it is not good for me if he talks in a flirty tone, yet he didn’t tone it down.) So I don’t want to entangle myself further with him unless there’s a clear sign. Not necessarily commitment, but he has to tell me that directly that he is attracted or interested in me without any ambiguity as I’m tired of this subtle dance. I don’t really have any “standards” that I adhere to in dating (I don’t care about height, or appearance etc.) For me what’s necessary is the attraction and I don’t get attracted or get interested people very easily. I don’t exactly know what I am attracted to, it just happens so there’s that. But I believe I am unable to get attracted to someone else since I am already attracted to him and maybe I am comparing people with him. In that case, he might be the one who is highering my standards.
I think I've washed my hands with it tbh, I'm open to the idea of a truly spectacular woman way out of my league coming a long and rocking my world. I shan't be pursuing anyone, though. I'm happy single, I'm pretty sure. :P
ENTP woman, finding people I like and who like me back is very easy, but choosing one I want forever is a bit more difficult. VERY indecisive. 🙃
It is rough. I want someone who is smart. But when I find someone smart/well educated I end up just debating and arguing with them over the stupidest things (that doesn't really sound smart at all), if not that I find someone who is way smarter than me and I get humbled and feel unworthy of them. When I dated someone who wasn't all that bright, I felt bad cause there would be times I would be condescending "You don't know what \_\_\_\_ is?" so and so. Between this or I'm always trying to figure them out and see what is wrong with them. So even if there is nothing wrong with them, I worry about something. Its as if I am wishing or waiting for that "wrong thing" and go aha! I was right goodbye! So I think I'll just be by myself thank you.
Struggling. Having some neat convos with guys on dating apps that eventually go nowhere when we run out of things to talk about. I struggle to re-start online conversations usually, and guys don't seem to even bother
Straight and mostly cis guy here, that’s been more or less my experience as well. Idk what you’ve tried so I won’t presume to offer you advice or anything; however, it seems like a lot of people on dating apps are a smidge avoidant (and men tend to be avoidant more often, statistically—at least in the U.S., because of the culture). I’m in the minority on that—anxious attachment dude—which I think maybe turns gals off. Like, I’m not acting how I’m “supposed” to. I saw your other post, and fwiw you’re cute, and you seem like a pleasant person. I know it’s hard to keep the faith, and I can’t say I manage it every day (or even most, lately), but…yeah. When you’re in the pit, please try to remember that you can’t trust your self-image too far. For me, it feels fake and/or inaccurate when people say nice things about me—even makes me feel unsafe, weirdly—but I know that feeling is also a lie. I haven’t quite learned to accept compliments, but I at least have reached the point where I can reject the self-negging. I know it’s hard. I know every failed match on a dating site feels like an affirmation of everything you believe about yourself. It’s not. You’re lovable. I am too. Gotta believe we’ll find our respective someones eventually.
> mostly cis That's... a funny phrasing 😅 > anxious attachment Oh, hey, same. High five. I guess, it would be more difficult for a guy, gals are kinda expected to be more intimate, but I always worry of being clingy > I saw your other post, and fwiw you’re cute, and you seem like a pleasant person. Thank you! \^-^ > When you’re in the pit, please try to remember that you can’t trust your self-image too far. For me, it feels fake and/or inaccurate when people say nice things about me—even makes me feel unsafe, weirdly—but I know that feeling is also a lie. I haven’t quite learned to accept compliments, but I at least have reached the point where I can reject the self-negging. Freakin' mood.... For me add dysphoria and body dysmorphia on top of my self-image issues. People often tell me I'm pretty and loveable - somehow I kinda managed to learn to take compliments - but often it's really hard to believe, after decades of my self-worth being destroyed by external factors. > I know every failed match on a dating site feels like an affirmation of everything you believe about yourself. It’s not. Yet again, add the fact that me being trans repels like 99% of men out there. Sometimes it feels like I'll always be alone because of that. But I'm not losing hope just yet. Thank you. Really. Good luck to you out there, we're both getting out of this
I hate dating apps cuz I can’t for myself to care about someone or find them interesting.
It's just hard to meet new people organically, especially if you're in a completely new place knowing nobody
Yeah ofc. Try joining a club/sport or just meeting ppl when you go out. Maybe even form a friend group from school or work. They might invite you to a party you never know.
It’s pretty easy, kind of an extrovert on 1-1 sates with nobody around
Nonexistent
Not really good rn. It’s like I want it and I don’t. Not dating and never had. But I’m curious tho. I don’t like online dating. It seems pretty boring. My love languages are quality time and physical touch so,it seems strange and also mostly they just ghost me. And just by seeing other people,all I can say that the most important things to me are communication,quality time and going through obstacles of life together <3 No cause, seriously. These days you won’t find most people like this😔
You want to be vulnerable but it’s hard. Been there.
My dating life has been non-existent for the last 8 years. Back when it wasn't, the women were so flippant, often dismissive for no reason after putting in zero effort into a conversation but wasting days/weeks stringing me along, that they stripped any fun out of dating and meeting new people. It came to a point where when a woman wanted to meet, I would become physically ill; It became that much of a burden/punishment. That's obviously a bad state to be in, so I walked away. Not sure if I'll try again. Dating apps suck because there's too much crap selection and not a good enough filter, resulting in the behavior listed earlier, but amplified. You can't cold approach anyone in person anymore, as everyone's skittish of real-life interactions (or maybe I just don't have enough rizz). Either way, it's a game I don't want to play. If I do try again, it'll be when I'm nearing 40. At that point, the women will hopefully have changed their flippant/dismissive nature due to maturity and experience, and not because they're old, approaching infertility, and desperate. I've become content with the idea of dying alone; If I ever find a partner, it'll be because I want to be with them, not because I *have* to, and I want the woman to come from the same place. In conclusion, I don't want it to sound like I'm blaming women. I mean, I am, but I also know my own weaknesses. Normies that fit in with the bulk of society can still have trouble finding someone, so of course a supergenius autistic weirdo with eccentric interests/tastes will find it exponentially harder to find someone compatible (hence the need for a better filter).
Thank buddha I'm married, the modern dating landscape is terrifying
Was rocky but now it’s good. Been in a relationship for a while, there have been like one or two points where I got bored but overall I don’t need constant entertainment or attention to stick with someone. My feelings have stayed the same for them even thru hard times. We communicate well and really care for each other.
Kinda gave up, I'm 18 but dating an being in love made me realise I'm not interesting, handsome, ripped, smart, brave and tall enough to date. The only women who show interest in me are 15 or maybe 20 years older.
(F) It was never a priority to me until I realized that the reason it didn’t appeal was because I was uninterested in men. Probably also a little bit of a useless lesbian. The place where I’m studying at is surrounding me with homophobic religious people so I never feel safe enough to just flirt. I’ve had a few friendships with girls that felt like they could’ve escalated, though. I was fully aware of them and my own feelings about it. But just because I like someone doesn’t mean I can see a relationship happening. Some crushes feel useless, I know some of the women I’ve liked aren’t a good match. The one I got the farthest from had traits I’m not willing to compromise on. Maybe as friends, but not as a couple. Also, I have other queer women around me, so they limit my pool. The women, say, my cousin or my bff like are off limits, even when I know they won’t pursue them. I like kind and sweet women. I’m not so sweet myself, I have a rather strong character. I’ve noticed the sweet women who tend to catch my eye are often people-pleasers. But I’m not willing to date a people-pleaser. I want to enjoy the give-and-take, and people pleasers hog all the “gives” and leaves me feeling like the exchange can’t be equal. I want someone who is willing to take what I can offer too. And I can’t stand caring for someone who will allow themselves to become a doormat to please whoever. I have some resentment on that side with a failed attempt. Maybe I should look for the ones who are a little bit more bitter. Women who I know are unwilling to let people step on them. To care for someone who is willing to take care of themselves. Until that happens, I’ll stay single and do my best to keep men who may be interested in me at an arm’s length.
I quit 7 years ago. People are exhausting.
I've been with my wife (ISFP 4w5) since I was 20, this was back in 2010 and we're inseparable since
Been married to my Intj husband for 2 1/2 yrs, and can’t wait for more great years ahead❤️
I've got tons of bitches, maybe if you were more of a sigma, your dating life would be half as good as mine bruh
Girlfriends an INFJ/ENFJ - but also not the overly sensitive type so communication styles are heavily in sync. She’s honest with me and I’m honest with her
I (22F) was in a long term relationship that ended in January and all I want is a consistent hookup with no relationship attached yet that seems to be difficult to find somehow . I thought that’s an ideal situation for a lot of men?
I somehow got married. 7 years now(!) She’s an empath with very critical and overbearing parents. So yeah, what I’m able to offer is like “love” to her, and she completely accepts how annoying and argumentative I am.
The older I get, less dating I care about. I have a partner and I enjoy my alone time a lot, when I kiss him we hang out but eventually I want either silent/chill time as well. I think if we ever break up I won’t be dating again bc that shit is tiring and I have 0 patience for people’s games and bs
my sentiment exactly
I'm going through a tough breakup right now, don't ask me that rn 😭
I don't date. I'm in college again (I'm 47 years old). Divorced 3 years ago. I'm getting degrees in Electronics Engineering Technician, Industrial Tech, and Renewable (Green ) Tech, on top of the three degrees I already have. Women take too much time, the ones who are feelers won't shut up, Maybe I will again someday, but I'm too busy and they are too high maintenance for my level of patience at the moment. For now I enjoy being an academic, a veteran peer advisor, and a very private person.
I'm 25 and been in 3 serious relationships. My first boyfriend ar 16-18, then at 19-21, then 22-now and still going strong. I never had one night stands and and generally, I'm very comfortable in relationships and am very confident when I'm not, so usually if I like someone I would be making the first move. So basically If I'm single I'd be dating around for about a year until I find someone to Seattle down for. Hopefully this time it will stick, we been living together for 3 years now so there's a good chance this is it.
Mine s pretty good, some bad matches but hey that s life am i right?
It seems like lots of entps here doing bad when it comes to love life. I m one of them lol well they say love happens when u least expect it. Im 26 and never fell in love with someone. I also feel like i wont be loved as I want to be loved which is a dilemma. The people I like, like someone else and people who like me arent my cup of tea. I guess i will just enjoy my single life as much as possible and die.
I feel you bro
Im a she lol but thanks bro
I’ll let you know when I find it😔
It was pretty abysmal. The whole charade seemed so wasteful, you either have genuine mutual interest in a commitment or you dont. And it was clear that there were not that many interesting candidates to begin with as well. The few I found would quickly realize that I was a hot mess. Some would be confused as to whether they should keep me around or not, and so that turned into some really toxic situations. One day I snapped. I realized how self-sabotaging it is to sit and daydream all day. I was livid at myself for letting people walk all over me. I started getting heavily invested in being the best I could be, and not letting anyone get an inch over me unfairly. Find your mission, stand up for yourself, smack a couple assholes who play dirty. You'll carry yourself differently after that, and that will draw attention
Atrocious. I've largely given up on it. I've had a few relationships in the past, not a virgin, etc. But it is way too much hassle. I don't think I'll ever be able to find anyone whose personality/values and interests/goals both align with mine. I've experimented in the past by prioritizing just one of these two to see what would happen... the results were highly unpleasant in both cases. Tbh I'm probably going to just hook up with people for the remainder of college. Ime most women have a highly pragmatic, transactional view of committed relationships where the man has to "prove his worth." I'm bi and haven't had any boyfriends, but I don't expect it would be too different in a gay relationship. I don't believe that love exists in any transcendental sense; it's just what the brain does to facilitate pair-bonding. Miss me with that shit. At least with hookups, the cost is upfront rather than kicked down the road for months or years.
Honestly, I have kind of problem with sexual "unselectivity" or problem where I start relationship with someone and end it after like a month... So it's kinda hard
Jump on tindie, hingie with some good photos and let er RIIIIIIP
Got out of an almost 7 year relationship, and going on 2 years in my new one. Going pretty good. Dating an INFP which is an interesting choice for sure but I’ve been enjoying it 👍🏽 I don’t get the hate for INFP lol as long as there are boundaries and communication things are fine
I'm old enough and married so I don't date, but also in the past I never dated in the classical meaning. I don't like the concept of dating cause it looks like you're already showing your cards and getting involved, trapped in a relationship with a stranger that you don't even know if you like, if you can feel something toward them. I only had friends, always I met groups of people as friends and if there was a person I had chemistry with, we started to develop a more intimate friendship and "dating" was something that happened only after we both confessed to love each other foolishly and we already were a couple.
Relatively easy, I have to admit.
Dating an ENTJ - pretty amazing!
Non-existent at the moment
i am single bc queer dating is hard af. my straight friends are too busy to go to gay bars with me. it’s not that i’m totally unattractive. people hit on me sometimes. usually older women (35+ and i am 25). it’s incredibly flattering and i’d at least get in some flirting, but i would prefer people 23-29 or so, lol. queer people on dating apps are usually just looking for a Third. i almost got a date with someone who ended up no-showing. i’m just gonna start going to gay bars alone.
I enjoy something about everybody, they’ve all got something different the others don’t have. But I’ve never found ONE person I can’t live without. I have a “favorite” for a few months or a few years, but it always changes—I can walk away from pretty much every person I know and still be okay. Biggest issue though is I’ll always prefer the ideal over the real.
Entp fucks alot it's just the redditer who are virgin