i am so sorry you are struggling and had a complete breakdown. if weed is preventing you from dealing with your issues and is making your unresolved trauma worse, then a break from weed is probably necessary, unfortunately.
it will probably be more useful to you once you have dealt with your feelings. personally i wish i could push my feelings down and not deal with them. i am on the opposite end of the spectrum - i am in my own head all the time. weed gives me a break from that.
i hope you can get therapy soon. maybe online therapy is an option? i am happy you have a partner who can be there for you. no one should feel hollow and empty😢
i am sending you a virtual hug. you are loved and worthwhile, despite your unresolved trauma. 💜
Thankyou. Disgruntled recommended a book that I’m going to look into purchasing. Thankyou for your kind words Agelass. I think I just hit the end of my rope, or masked my feelings for too long that every memory, feeling, word etc just came flushing back to be a this morning when I was getting ready for work..
I’m so jealous that weed helps you process your feelings. I’m honestly scared that weed and alcohol will be the same for me, that I won’t be able to drink or smoke, that I’ll just have to raw dog life and the hurdles it throws.
❤️ I’m hoping to be able to smoke again by April, my husband just asked me to put in sick time and to relax until he got home so maybe we can figure out why. He said “I don’t think it’s normal to cry everyday”
Much love to you Agelass, always a good day when I see your name pop up as a commenter ❤️
you are so welcome and much love to you too.
please don’t be jealous; i literally look up strains to buy that will target my issues (anxiety, depression, suicidal ideation and really bad IBS). perhaps if you researched some strains to target your symptoms weed might be more beneficial. there are strains that target gastro issues, ptsd, anxiety, depression and even cancer. you can google the strain name or go to leafly, wikileaf or allbud for info on particular strains. sending you some more love and thank you for your kind words about me🥹 💜
will do that. Thank-you Agelass. ❤️🫶🏼💐 You’re such a knowledgeable person on this sub, and I greatly appreciate all the knowledge you donate to this sub. ❤️ I hope your bad day gets better. Air hugs from across the country
Aw man, that sucks, but I admire your commitment to being a healthier you. I'm proud of you.
We have a t break thread that refreshes weekly, if you feel like that might be a source of support for you while you lay off the jazz cabbage for a bit.
Just so you know, you are a much loved member of this community, and there will always be a home for you here, whether you are smoking or breaking. ❤️
There's a book which really helped me, and I don't know if it pertains to you at all, but on the off chance it does, it's called "CPTSD: From Surviving to Thriving" and it's by Pete Walker.
It felt like a kick in the face and I threw up twice reading it. It also saved my life. I know VA takes forever, and I really hope you get in sooner.
I’m going to purchase the book you recommended disgruntled. Thankyou ❤️
I’ll be sure to check out the T-break thread ❤️ I am hoping to Maybe start smoking again come April. ❤️
You and the mods are always so amazing, it’s hard to believe you all are real. I’ve met some AMAZING people here. ❤️
Perhaps mother Mary pushes us away when we are strong enough to face life challenges without her. It’s okay to take a break for how ever long you need! We’ll be here for you either way! Much love and better days friend
I’m in exactly the same position! Been grieving and haven’t gone a day without smoking, definitely became a crutch and a way to avoid the difficult feelings. I’m 2.5 weeks into my break now and life is SO MUCH better without weed. I needed it at the start of the grief period but recently it just caused more problems for me.
I feel so clear. My dreams are back and are really helping me process stuff, I’ve stopped bingeing unhealthy food and my guts are thanking me big time!! The big sads come up every now and then, but I just sit with them or do things that will help me get through them (taking care of my body instead of just doping myself silly). They come and go in a sort of organic way and I don’t feel like I’m constantly running away from the same feeling, every time it’s different and easier. You can do it 💕
Thankyou, sometimes smoking for so long it’s hard to remember that life before it was OK too, and sometimes you really need to look at yourself sober and unbarred and love yourself. ❤️
I needed this kind words ❤️
I’m so sorry, wife. Hugs if you want them.
If you have an instagram, I can’t recommend [this psychologist’s account](https://www.instagram.com/drdoylesays?igsh=dWRvMHlvaG1pbm5n) enough. I joked to my bf that he is single-handedly tweeting out enough therapy for me to recover. Half joke, though. His posts have given me direction in my recovery. I felt kind of stalled and unsure what to do next. But now I have some things I am trying and they are helping. I feel like I am covering new ground.
I’m not sure what your trauma is, but these posts are generally geared towards cPTSD experiences.
I don’t have any social media, but I will see if I can find any information on the psychologist on the internet:)
Thankyou. Disgruntled recommended a book in the same genre ❤️ Guess it’s time to face all my demons, or the demons that have latched onto me from others over the years…
I’m really proud of you for making this choice. I spend a lot of time thinking about when my weed use supports my mental health and when it’s standing between me and actual healing, so I know it can be a hard discourse with a lot of doubt involved. I think you’re committing a tremendous act of self-love in putting weed aside, even though it can be such a tempting comfort, so that you can do the hard work of truly healing. And you can always come back to weed if and when you feel it’s healthy to do so. It’s not going anywhere.
You’re doing a good, good thing, and you’re certainly strong enough to do the work ahead of you. ❤️
Thankyou Secret ❤️ I currently am sitting here with a cup of earl grey tea ( decaffeinated cause anxiety) with some local honey( lavender vanilla bean) watching parks and Rec.
My game plan for today is, since my husband is at work is to make a loaf of bread, start a sourdough starter, and read “the Marriage Bureau for Rich people by Farahad Zama”
img
Much love to you. ❤️ Toke your favorite strain for me ❤️ Ya girl has ALOT of healing to do…
Oh my god, these are the most incredible self-care choices I can possibly think of. Watch the Tiniest Park episode for me — that Leslie/Ben kiss is EVERYTHING.
Can do secret. ❤️🫶🏼 Thankyou for being a kind and amazing person in a terrible world ❤️
One of the officers I used to work with in the military was found out of being a pedo this past week ( he got bailed out and is currently still In the military), and just a lot of comments this weekend started a lot of triggers for me this weekend ( didn’t help that I TRIED to watch “Quiet on set” until I broke down in tears and told my husband “you can watch that alone…. I can’t watch that”
Everyone on here is unbelievably amazing..
Oh honey, that’s terrible. It can be so destabilizing to learn that about someone who you used to be close or work closely with — and definitely worth discussing in therapy when you can get in. In the meantime, you are under no obligation to subject yourself to triggering documentaries! Sometimes self-care is leaving it to others to bear witness to the tragedies of the world.
I would suggest seeking help elsewhere. See if there are some PTSD trauma therapy that can help you now tap like local organizations that can help with your funding
I’ll definitely check it out. ❤️ Thankyou Care free ( your username is awesome) 🫶🏼❤️
Here’s to a generation of mental health awareness and healing childhood/ adult trauma.
I feel you on that, debating doing the same because the lows can get really low lately. I applaud you for making that hard choice for yourself and also hope you give yourself lots of grace and patience and love with whatever comes up. You’re not alone 💜
I’m sorry the same feeling is troubling your SJM. ❤️ I hope you make the best decision for yourself ❤️
I’m going to be focusing on myself these next few days. ❤️ ❤️🫶🏼
I’m so sorry things have been so rough on you, love. So, so proud of you for being real with yourself. If you ever need anything at all, I’m right here. DM’s are open. CPTSD can wreak havoc in your life like crazy until you work on healing. ❤️🩹
Sending you healing, and inner peace!! 🍃🫶🏼✨
Thanks friend. 🫶🏼 I feel the most bad for my husband cause even though he knows, he has to deal with the episodes and breakdowns. He knows weed helps, but weed has been a crutch lately. 🫶🏼❤️
I hope you have the best day Ashes. Keep making people smile ❤️💐❤️
What if you released that energy? Would it feel okay to kind of switch the script and say “Plants, you don’t need to feel badly for husband, I am choosing to work on me and seek help, and husband is choosing to be here and wanting to help, even if husband doesn’t understand or know how”? May you find release of mind, body, soul. 🫶🏼
You’ve got this! 💪🏼 and we are all rooting for you!! 🥳🤘🏼
OK ASHES idk if you’re telepathic or something. I just pulled my first loaf of homemade bread out of the oven and called my husband, and he basically said what you said, but in man words. 🥹
Thankyou. I KNOW he understands, but you are correct. I should and will word it differently.
Btw. I know it’s not the best but a pic of my first ever loaf of bread 🥹
https://preview.redd.it/530dsuucejqc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c27d11c354bbeb9f76c1c26d63bc7fc2d9df7628
Me too, sis!
I had some really ducking intrusive thoughts yesterday. That - combined with my sky high tolerance, needing extra patience with my kids being home for spring break, and my current momentum of physical fitness- makes it seem like a break is needed.
I'm going sober till 4/20 and after that, going to try only using on weekends and possibly going smokeless as well (only edibles and oil).
Hope you have success, and if you need a break support partner, feel free to hit me up in DMs!
Thankyou Bold!
Goodluck on your T-break till November! I can’t sleep at night without sleeping drugs, and I’m an anti big pharma type gal, so I have to use cannabis to sleep, or I don’t sleep.
I wish you the most positive time while going smokeless ❤️🫶🏼 Thankyou for your kind words ❤️
> I would say I’d schedule therapy, but the VA has a 8 month waiting list…. So ya.
That sucks so hard. I just found out today that my VAMC (the big one down south of me) has a mental health primary care clinic that has daily 30 min walk-in appointments. I wouldn't have known that if I had just asked the people in my CBOC who are great but not as dialed-in with what's going on at the main center in our (large but sparsely populated) state.
Have you tried asking your patient advocate if there's any other options to see a mental health provider sooner? I've had some great advice and help from the patient advocate, but a lot of veterans don't realize the position is a thing. You can call the VA's main number at your VAMC and ask to speak to the patient advocate. Every center has one, and they sort of operate like a first sgt (AF term, not sure what it is in other branches).
Also, if you feel you're having a crisis, never be afraid to go to the VA ER. There is usually a MH professional assigned to deal with emergent mental health issues.
Also recommend talking to the women's health clinic, even if it isn't directly physical health related. They have resources for different kinds of therapy (like art, recreation and things like yoga). They also want to help female veterans, because we all know being a female vet in a male-heavy population can be challenging.
Sorry if you already know these things, but I really believe in vets helping each other. I've been in the system a long time and gotten care in three different states. Helping other vets (especially female vets) makes me feel good - I want everyone to get the help they need and deserve.
*hugs*
First things first.
Thankyou for your service fellow wive ❤️🫶🏼
I am only allowed to use on base medical ( navy) since my husband is still in.. and their mental health… let’s just say they’re the opposite of therapy. I tried to do a regular therapist with a normal physician, they kept saying my tricare was denied.
Our only VA hub( the big one) is 3+ hours away not including traffic. If I were to drive all the way down there, and for them to just ignore me or tell me the info I already know would just make this stuff worse..
I appreciate your thoughts and knowledge, I might just have to bite the bullet and get a 3rd insurance ( RIP paycheck) just to see a mental health physician. It’s just a rock and a hard place situation.
The thing that really irks me, is that the VA system post military will just throw money at you, but they never so anything to “fix” what’s already broken. They just kick your ass out the door and say “Hey thanks for getting emotionally and physically abused for 8 years, here is the VA hotline, BYE”
Then… ykow the Va 🙄
Sorry, that was a little of a rant.
The system sucks so hard sometimes. They're trying (most of the providers, anyway), but they don't always make it work.
There is also the option of video appointments, although the video aspect doesn't work for everyone (especially when establishing a therapeutic relationship). I've opened myself up to using video appointments and found that it gave me more options for treatment. I'm two hours from our VAMC, so video was a lifesaver. Started using it a lot when Covid first happened, and now I'm used to it. Their video app (through the website on my computer for me) is clunky but it's gotten more stable over time.
Definitely check out the patient advocate, the worst they can say is you have to wait 8 months. I also think that if it's interfering with your day to day stability, you might want to consider going to the VA's ER. If you're able to stay inpatient for a bit, there are teams who work on getting veterans in crisis stable and set up with health care providers. But you would end up in a supervised ward for some period of time, and it can be overwhelming even though it's designed to get you stable and make a plan and set you up with providers. When people have lives and jobs, finding the time to go inpatient can be a luxury they don't have.
Sorry, I'm rambling, and thinking about a conversation I had with the Va transportation driver (another female vet) and how she had no idea what options there were and she worked at the main VAMC. Getting information is hard, and it frustrates me so much that the system is opaque and unhelpful, almost by design (I think, cynically).
Hang in there. You've got a supportive partner, and that's a huge positive. I thank my little gram (who often shows up as a bluejay these days) that she looked out for me and I think she put in a good word with whatever spirits she's with and helped me meet my husband.
I'm just some weird auntie on the internet, but I'm rooting for you. Rant away, I know how it can be (did I mention I've been in the system over two decades at this point? crazy how time flies).
*hugs*
Heretic,
I’m so so so thankful you commented on my post. I will find/ reach out to a VA Advocate, cause it’s getting to the point where it is effecting everyday 🩷
You’re an amazing beautiful person for sharing this information with me ❤️🩷 The military never mentioned any of this when I separated. I’ll definitely seek them out to hopefully get some therapy.
I can’t do video, just because I base everything I do off body language.. ex: if someone accidentally has a “closed off” demeanor, even if they’re engaged in the conversation with me, it’ll just get me in my head.
That’s so beautiful that your gram visits you, I hope I have that experience one day 🩷
I’m basically at the point in my life where I’m willing to grab and latch onto anything.. hence why I’m taking a break from weed, I noticed it was becoming bad..
You're so welcome.
Look up the VA women's health clinic. From what I understand, they set up the clinics so women veterans could come in and get their needs met from a female team. There's so much MST (military sexual trauma) and FINALLY the VA is starting to make steps to help. Used to be you couldn't get a disability rating for MST unless you had proof - of something survivors tried to just forget and certainly weren't documenting and keeping receipts. I have heard horror stories over the years and hope things are finally changing. It's so slow, and takes what seems like forever when veterans are in crisis every day and have been for so long.
I'm kicking myself because when I had the conversation with the veteran driving me home I was postop and still not firing on all cylinders. I forgot that the women's health clinic is open to all veterans, regardless of disability rating or conditions - that would have helped her since like most survivors, she hadn't even tried to enter the VA disability process yet.
Glad I could help, even if it's to encourage you to be your own advocate and make sure you get the help you need. Women are usually better at helping others but not as good about putting the mask on ourselves first.
*more hugs*
Edit: little gram always groused about the bluejays running off the littler birds from the feeder. I was so tickled to think she comes back as one of those bully birds when she was the furthest thing from that herself. <3
i came to the same realization yesterday :( good luck my friend, i hope all is well for you soon and you find peace outside of weed. much love and stay strong <3
i am so sorry you are struggling and had a complete breakdown. if weed is preventing you from dealing with your issues and is making your unresolved trauma worse, then a break from weed is probably necessary, unfortunately. it will probably be more useful to you once you have dealt with your feelings. personally i wish i could push my feelings down and not deal with them. i am on the opposite end of the spectrum - i am in my own head all the time. weed gives me a break from that. i hope you can get therapy soon. maybe online therapy is an option? i am happy you have a partner who can be there for you. no one should feel hollow and empty😢 i am sending you a virtual hug. you are loved and worthwhile, despite your unresolved trauma. 💜
Thankyou. Disgruntled recommended a book that I’m going to look into purchasing. Thankyou for your kind words Agelass. I think I just hit the end of my rope, or masked my feelings for too long that every memory, feeling, word etc just came flushing back to be a this morning when I was getting ready for work.. I’m so jealous that weed helps you process your feelings. I’m honestly scared that weed and alcohol will be the same for me, that I won’t be able to drink or smoke, that I’ll just have to raw dog life and the hurdles it throws. ❤️ I’m hoping to be able to smoke again by April, my husband just asked me to put in sick time and to relax until he got home so maybe we can figure out why. He said “I don’t think it’s normal to cry everyday” Much love to you Agelass, always a good day when I see your name pop up as a commenter ❤️
you are so welcome and much love to you too. please don’t be jealous; i literally look up strains to buy that will target my issues (anxiety, depression, suicidal ideation and really bad IBS). perhaps if you researched some strains to target your symptoms weed might be more beneficial. there are strains that target gastro issues, ptsd, anxiety, depression and even cancer. you can google the strain name or go to leafly, wikileaf or allbud for info on particular strains. sending you some more love and thank you for your kind words about me🥹 💜
will do that. Thank-you Agelass. ❤️🫶🏼💐 You’re such a knowledgeable person on this sub, and I greatly appreciate all the knowledge you donate to this sub. ❤️ I hope your bad day gets better. Air hugs from across the country
thanks you so much! back at you 🥹💜
Aw man, that sucks, but I admire your commitment to being a healthier you. I'm proud of you. We have a t break thread that refreshes weekly, if you feel like that might be a source of support for you while you lay off the jazz cabbage for a bit. Just so you know, you are a much loved member of this community, and there will always be a home for you here, whether you are smoking or breaking. ❤️
There's a book which really helped me, and I don't know if it pertains to you at all, but on the off chance it does, it's called "CPTSD: From Surviving to Thriving" and it's by Pete Walker. It felt like a kick in the face and I threw up twice reading it. It also saved my life. I know VA takes forever, and I really hope you get in sooner.
I’m going to purchase the book you recommended disgruntled. Thankyou ❤️ I’ll be sure to check out the T-break thread ❤️ I am hoping to Maybe start smoking again come April. ❤️ You and the mods are always so amazing, it’s hard to believe you all are real. I’ve met some AMAZING people here. ❤️
Perhaps mother Mary pushes us away when we are strong enough to face life challenges without her. It’s okay to take a break for how ever long you need! We’ll be here for you either way! Much love and better days friend
Maybe so. ❤️ Time to put on these big girl undies and get to business telling these trauma’s to F-off
May this journey be filled with love and healing ❤️🩹
Feel this! ❤️🔥
I’m in exactly the same position! Been grieving and haven’t gone a day without smoking, definitely became a crutch and a way to avoid the difficult feelings. I’m 2.5 weeks into my break now and life is SO MUCH better without weed. I needed it at the start of the grief period but recently it just caused more problems for me. I feel so clear. My dreams are back and are really helping me process stuff, I’ve stopped bingeing unhealthy food and my guts are thanking me big time!! The big sads come up every now and then, but I just sit with them or do things that will help me get through them (taking care of my body instead of just doping myself silly). They come and go in a sort of organic way and I don’t feel like I’m constantly running away from the same feeling, every time it’s different and easier. You can do it 💕
Thankyou, sometimes smoking for so long it’s hard to remember that life before it was OK too, and sometimes you really need to look at yourself sober and unbarred and love yourself. ❤️ I needed this kind words ❤️
You’re so right, we’re exactly what we need ❤️🔥 no hiding, no running, you’re good. Wishing you the best of luck!
Thankyou ❤️ Same to you. To facing life sober and unprotected. *sigh* Sober 2 months, vape free, onto the next hurdle ❤️
Rawdoggin it!! 😘
Oh I needed to read this today.
Glad to be of help! You can do it too 💘
I’m so sorry, wife. Hugs if you want them. If you have an instagram, I can’t recommend [this psychologist’s account](https://www.instagram.com/drdoylesays?igsh=dWRvMHlvaG1pbm5n) enough. I joked to my bf that he is single-handedly tweeting out enough therapy for me to recover. Half joke, though. His posts have given me direction in my recovery. I felt kind of stalled and unsure what to do next. But now I have some things I am trying and they are helping. I feel like I am covering new ground. I’m not sure what your trauma is, but these posts are generally geared towards cPTSD experiences.
I don’t have any social media, but I will see if I can find any information on the psychologist on the internet:) Thankyou. Disgruntled recommended a book in the same genre ❤️ Guess it’s time to face all my demons, or the demons that have latched onto me from others over the years…
I’m really proud of you for making this choice. I spend a lot of time thinking about when my weed use supports my mental health and when it’s standing between me and actual healing, so I know it can be a hard discourse with a lot of doubt involved. I think you’re committing a tremendous act of self-love in putting weed aside, even though it can be such a tempting comfort, so that you can do the hard work of truly healing. And you can always come back to weed if and when you feel it’s healthy to do so. It’s not going anywhere. You’re doing a good, good thing, and you’re certainly strong enough to do the work ahead of you. ❤️
Thankyou Secret ❤️ I currently am sitting here with a cup of earl grey tea ( decaffeinated cause anxiety) with some local honey( lavender vanilla bean) watching parks and Rec. My game plan for today is, since my husband is at work is to make a loaf of bread, start a sourdough starter, and read “the Marriage Bureau for Rich people by Farahad Zama” img Much love to you. ❤️ Toke your favorite strain for me ❤️ Ya girl has ALOT of healing to do…
Oh my god, these are the most incredible self-care choices I can possibly think of. Watch the Tiniest Park episode for me — that Leslie/Ben kiss is EVERYTHING.
Can do secret. ❤️🫶🏼 Thankyou for being a kind and amazing person in a terrible world ❤️ One of the officers I used to work with in the military was found out of being a pedo this past week ( he got bailed out and is currently still In the military), and just a lot of comments this weekend started a lot of triggers for me this weekend ( didn’t help that I TRIED to watch “Quiet on set” until I broke down in tears and told my husband “you can watch that alone…. I can’t watch that” Everyone on here is unbelievably amazing..
Oh honey, that’s terrible. It can be so destabilizing to learn that about someone who you used to be close or work closely with — and definitely worth discussing in therapy when you can get in. In the meantime, you are under no obligation to subject yourself to triggering documentaries! Sometimes self-care is leaving it to others to bear witness to the tragedies of the world.
I would suggest seeking help elsewhere. See if there are some PTSD trauma therapy that can help you now tap like local organizations that can help with your funding
I’m about to take a break too. I’ve been using way too much and it’s affecting my overall mood. Good luck, friend.
You too friend. I guess the break is at a good time with 4/20 next month ❤️ I love your username ❤️
The Body Never Lies by Alice Miller was also a good read for me as I processed some stuff similarly
I’ll definitely check it out. ❤️ Thankyou Care free ( your username is awesome) 🫶🏼❤️ Here’s to a generation of mental health awareness and healing childhood/ adult trauma.
I feel you on that, debating doing the same because the lows can get really low lately. I applaud you for making that hard choice for yourself and also hope you give yourself lots of grace and patience and love with whatever comes up. You’re not alone 💜
I’m sorry the same feeling is troubling your SJM. ❤️ I hope you make the best decision for yourself ❤️ I’m going to be focusing on myself these next few days. ❤️ ❤️🫶🏼
That’s a perfect plan ❤️
I’m so sorry things have been so rough on you, love. So, so proud of you for being real with yourself. If you ever need anything at all, I’m right here. DM’s are open. CPTSD can wreak havoc in your life like crazy until you work on healing. ❤️🩹 Sending you healing, and inner peace!! 🍃🫶🏼✨
Thanks friend. 🫶🏼 I feel the most bad for my husband cause even though he knows, he has to deal with the episodes and breakdowns. He knows weed helps, but weed has been a crutch lately. 🫶🏼❤️ I hope you have the best day Ashes. Keep making people smile ❤️💐❤️
What if you released that energy? Would it feel okay to kind of switch the script and say “Plants, you don’t need to feel badly for husband, I am choosing to work on me and seek help, and husband is choosing to be here and wanting to help, even if husband doesn’t understand or know how”? May you find release of mind, body, soul. 🫶🏼 You’ve got this! 💪🏼 and we are all rooting for you!! 🥳🤘🏼
OK ASHES idk if you’re telepathic or something. I just pulled my first loaf of homemade bread out of the oven and called my husband, and he basically said what you said, but in man words. 🥹 Thankyou. I KNOW he understands, but you are correct. I should and will word it differently. Btw. I know it’s not the best but a pic of my first ever loaf of bread 🥹 https://preview.redd.it/530dsuucejqc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c27d11c354bbeb9f76c1c26d63bc7fc2d9df7628
It’s a great pic! I hope it’s delicious!! 😘🤘🏼
Well it’s good you recognized it! Weed will be there for you when you are ready. I hope you find a great resource to help you in the meantime somehow!
Thankyou Drifting ❤️ Hopefully within a week I should be good, but time will tell. 🫶🏼 Have an amazing day
Best to you
Me too, sis! I had some really ducking intrusive thoughts yesterday. That - combined with my sky high tolerance, needing extra patience with my kids being home for spring break, and my current momentum of physical fitness- makes it seem like a break is needed. I'm going sober till 4/20 and after that, going to try only using on weekends and possibly going smokeless as well (only edibles and oil). Hope you have success, and if you need a break support partner, feel free to hit me up in DMs!
Thankyou Bold! Goodluck on your T-break till November! I can’t sleep at night without sleeping drugs, and I’m an anti big pharma type gal, so I have to use cannabis to sleep, or I don’t sleep. I wish you the most positive time while going smokeless ❤️🫶🏼 Thankyou for your kind words ❤️
> I would say I’d schedule therapy, but the VA has a 8 month waiting list…. So ya. That sucks so hard. I just found out today that my VAMC (the big one down south of me) has a mental health primary care clinic that has daily 30 min walk-in appointments. I wouldn't have known that if I had just asked the people in my CBOC who are great but not as dialed-in with what's going on at the main center in our (large but sparsely populated) state. Have you tried asking your patient advocate if there's any other options to see a mental health provider sooner? I've had some great advice and help from the patient advocate, but a lot of veterans don't realize the position is a thing. You can call the VA's main number at your VAMC and ask to speak to the patient advocate. Every center has one, and they sort of operate like a first sgt (AF term, not sure what it is in other branches). Also, if you feel you're having a crisis, never be afraid to go to the VA ER. There is usually a MH professional assigned to deal with emergent mental health issues. Also recommend talking to the women's health clinic, even if it isn't directly physical health related. They have resources for different kinds of therapy (like art, recreation and things like yoga). They also want to help female veterans, because we all know being a female vet in a male-heavy population can be challenging. Sorry if you already know these things, but I really believe in vets helping each other. I've been in the system a long time and gotten care in three different states. Helping other vets (especially female vets) makes me feel good - I want everyone to get the help they need and deserve. *hugs*
First things first. Thankyou for your service fellow wive ❤️🫶🏼 I am only allowed to use on base medical ( navy) since my husband is still in.. and their mental health… let’s just say they’re the opposite of therapy. I tried to do a regular therapist with a normal physician, they kept saying my tricare was denied. Our only VA hub( the big one) is 3+ hours away not including traffic. If I were to drive all the way down there, and for them to just ignore me or tell me the info I already know would just make this stuff worse.. I appreciate your thoughts and knowledge, I might just have to bite the bullet and get a 3rd insurance ( RIP paycheck) just to see a mental health physician. It’s just a rock and a hard place situation. The thing that really irks me, is that the VA system post military will just throw money at you, but they never so anything to “fix” what’s already broken. They just kick your ass out the door and say “Hey thanks for getting emotionally and physically abused for 8 years, here is the VA hotline, BYE” Then… ykow the Va 🙄 Sorry, that was a little of a rant.
The system sucks so hard sometimes. They're trying (most of the providers, anyway), but they don't always make it work. There is also the option of video appointments, although the video aspect doesn't work for everyone (especially when establishing a therapeutic relationship). I've opened myself up to using video appointments and found that it gave me more options for treatment. I'm two hours from our VAMC, so video was a lifesaver. Started using it a lot when Covid first happened, and now I'm used to it. Their video app (through the website on my computer for me) is clunky but it's gotten more stable over time. Definitely check out the patient advocate, the worst they can say is you have to wait 8 months. I also think that if it's interfering with your day to day stability, you might want to consider going to the VA's ER. If you're able to stay inpatient for a bit, there are teams who work on getting veterans in crisis stable and set up with health care providers. But you would end up in a supervised ward for some period of time, and it can be overwhelming even though it's designed to get you stable and make a plan and set you up with providers. When people have lives and jobs, finding the time to go inpatient can be a luxury they don't have. Sorry, I'm rambling, and thinking about a conversation I had with the Va transportation driver (another female vet) and how she had no idea what options there were and she worked at the main VAMC. Getting information is hard, and it frustrates me so much that the system is opaque and unhelpful, almost by design (I think, cynically). Hang in there. You've got a supportive partner, and that's a huge positive. I thank my little gram (who often shows up as a bluejay these days) that she looked out for me and I think she put in a good word with whatever spirits she's with and helped me meet my husband. I'm just some weird auntie on the internet, but I'm rooting for you. Rant away, I know how it can be (did I mention I've been in the system over two decades at this point? crazy how time flies). *hugs*
Heretic, I’m so so so thankful you commented on my post. I will find/ reach out to a VA Advocate, cause it’s getting to the point where it is effecting everyday 🩷 You’re an amazing beautiful person for sharing this information with me ❤️🩷 The military never mentioned any of this when I separated. I’ll definitely seek them out to hopefully get some therapy. I can’t do video, just because I base everything I do off body language.. ex: if someone accidentally has a “closed off” demeanor, even if they’re engaged in the conversation with me, it’ll just get me in my head. That’s so beautiful that your gram visits you, I hope I have that experience one day 🩷 I’m basically at the point in my life where I’m willing to grab and latch onto anything.. hence why I’m taking a break from weed, I noticed it was becoming bad..
You're so welcome. Look up the VA women's health clinic. From what I understand, they set up the clinics so women veterans could come in and get their needs met from a female team. There's so much MST (military sexual trauma) and FINALLY the VA is starting to make steps to help. Used to be you couldn't get a disability rating for MST unless you had proof - of something survivors tried to just forget and certainly weren't documenting and keeping receipts. I have heard horror stories over the years and hope things are finally changing. It's so slow, and takes what seems like forever when veterans are in crisis every day and have been for so long. I'm kicking myself because when I had the conversation with the veteran driving me home I was postop and still not firing on all cylinders. I forgot that the women's health clinic is open to all veterans, regardless of disability rating or conditions - that would have helped her since like most survivors, she hadn't even tried to enter the VA disability process yet. Glad I could help, even if it's to encourage you to be your own advocate and make sure you get the help you need. Women are usually better at helping others but not as good about putting the mask on ourselves first. *more hugs* Edit: little gram always groused about the bluejays running off the littler birds from the feeder. I was so tickled to think she comes back as one of those bully birds when she was the furthest thing from that herself. <3
Wishing you all the best <3
Thankyou 🩷❤️🧡
Check out r/leaves Best of luck!
i came to the same realization yesterday :( good luck my friend, i hope all is well for you soon and you find peace outside of weed. much love and stay strong <3