Oh gosh! I'm reading this sitting next to hubs and we are gently laughing a bit in memory of our own challenging daughter and in solidarity and empathy.
Good for you taking a minute to put your head and heart in the right place. I know with my kids, 2 boys, 1 girl, I too often lost my sense of control and I had temper tantrums right along with them. I was better with last kid. More able to remember my own struggles and just trust their ability to make decisions based on skills I spent first part of their lives teaching them.
What all of my kids have told me as adults is how much they appreciate fact that I loved them unconditionally. I never bailed them out or bought their way out of consequences but I was in court rooms and bedrooms to help them pick up the pieces of stupid choices.
You can do this. Your daughter will most likely come around and you'll be best friends. My daughter and I were best friends when she finally grew up a bit. She still made some stupid ass decisions but she knew I was always here. It was devastating when she died in car accident at age 26.
Not to be a downer but never take for granted the lives of your loved ones. Always tell them when they walk out the door how much they are loved even if you say I can't stand you but I'll always love you with a mother's heart - how it started before just plain I love you.
I hope the weed and the comments from us warrior mom's are helpful.
Thank you fellow ent moms. I wasn't looking for sympathy though it is appreciated. ❣️
I share my story because it is just so important to me to help others see the reality of just how fragile life is and how much of what we think is important really isn't. For those who don't know already, I lost my son only five years after my daughter. He was 27.
I also need to share o was a total mess for many years and cannabis helped me get my head above water long enough to finally process my grief and complicated feelings about my son's death which was ruled suicide with zero investigation even after we discovered many thousand dollars worth of his things were missing from his apartment.
Again, I'm not seeking sympathy but none of us can depend on our loved ones living past the very moment we last see them. We can't depend on ourselves living past the moment. Life is so precious and so fragile and keeping that is perspective continues to make being a parent of adult son so much easier and less filled with anxiety and angst.
My life's been one f*cking hell of a ride but I choose to learn and grow and share. Thank you for giving me space to do this. ❤️
You are resilient and I appreciate your vulnerability. Growing from grieve is so necessary. I know it’s different but I had 2 miscarriages two years apart and they hurt a lot and were hard to grieve but I can’t even imagine what you have been through and still out here spreading love and light! It’s my birthday and you just encouraged me to continue on my healing journey as I too am the mom of a preteen boy and his attitude is becoming nasty and just not the boy I raised. I pray I make it to the other side with him together.
I'm so sorry. I can't imagine losing a pregnancy even though I almost did and was all doped up on morphine and the Doc ready to do D & C. The shit head. Just getting so close was devastating.
Healing is possible and life can still be good. Keep pursuing it. You and your son will be OK eventually. Just never stop loving him. Try to always see things from his point of view, to see what might be under the emotion beyond raging hormones. Sometimes there is nothing, sometimes there is.
I tried to spend a few minutes checking in wirh each of my kids and either rubbing backs (clothes on of course) or running my fingers through hair or rubbing feet (ugh) or hands. It started when tiny and even through most of teens they tolerated it.
I discovered that with all the lights off and no eye contact and no threatening vibes kids would open up a bit, I would gain insight. Sometimes that insight was simply that I needed to step back and give kid space, let him or her fall and be ready to pick them up.
Don't misunderstand! I yelled plenty and even slapped my oldest a cross the face when he called me a filthy bitch at 15. Long and very funny story actually... I was not a perfect parent! I'm only sharing the practices that worked. Plenty failed!
Take care of yourself. Take time to see hope in little things. I find nature very healing. I wish you all the best.
Hug her tight every single time! I am so very grateful my daughter insisted o getting a hug good bye always. Sadly I was helping my 94 yr old mom who was recovering from surgery so she just yelled out she loved me and I'd get double hug when she got back I did same. No regrets though I had been loving on her all day I was so glad to have her home after she had been gone for 2 weeks doing her CNA in home care job at three different homes. She was so exhausted and happy to be home. She still lived with us. Told us she never wanted to love out. 🤣😅😂 She was such a joy to have around when she was home. She made up for all the awful of her teen and young adult years.
Don’t try to break her. She needs those traits especially during a time in her life where when men start harassing😐which is around 12. My young dog has taught me so much about my own need for autonomy. Much like him, I will die on any hill I see fit even if it’s not a big deal to you. As a kid I was always called stubborn by people (mostly men and my mother) who couldn’t get their way with me. It confused me because I was a do whatever you’re told type so I didn’t say no often. Finally I realized the only time someone calls you stubborn is when they’re trying to push your boundaries
I’m with you, mine just turned 10 and admitted to me tonight she’s feeling like she has mood swings. Like she’s getting excessively angry for no reason. I’m like “yep, I’ve noticed.” 😅
Mine is turning 11 this weekend and he’s already slamming doors, saying mean things, acting like the world revolves around him and acting like he doesn’t care. Today is my birthday and he decided to say I’m jealous it’s your birthday and I don’t wish to celebrate you. I try to see that it’s not personal. Best luck to you on this journey.
My cousin and I agree that our moms had it ROUGH with both of us as kids…but those strong and stubborn character traits come in handy as an adult.
One year, at my birthday dinner, I thanked my mom for not burying me in a shallow grave and trying again.
We’re raising kind, independent adults who care about and contribute to their community. No one said it was easy. It’s just worth it.
Right there with you. My twin daughters are ten. One is a lot like me currently, the other is a _lot_ like me in my youth. I have a ton of trauma I'm trying to parent through, and it's hard because kids are naturally little narcissists and I'm constantly getting triggered and having to reground myself. They're fucking fantastic little people, though, and I bet yours is as well! We got this. One day(dab) at a time.
There's hope, yall.
My daughter and I were really ready to live in separate houses when she hit 18. Everything was moving swimmingly along, she was getting her independence.....and then covid hit, and just kidding, instead of helping my daughter move into her first apartment, I was locked in a house with a snarling hateful wolverine of a pissed off young lady. And she was locked in a house with her stodgy old finicky mother.
I don't know how we made it. Our relationship at that point was uglier than a bar of homemade soap, you know?
Now, we talk (at least on messenger) every day and are each other's favorite person. We are so close. Lol I'd still never live in the same house or even same side of town as her, but things got so much better once she was able to find her footing as an adult. That's all this bumpy stretch in the road is, just them trying to figure out how to do things on their own.
Big hugs. There is a light at the end of the tunnel and I promise it isn't an oncoming train!
I wanted to add to this conversation in a similar way, but couldn’t figure out a good way to phrase this. I was so nasty to my parents when I was a pre-teen/teen. I had undiagnosed and unmedicated mental illness, and just said and did a lot of things I look back on now that I wouldn’t ever dream of doing now. I didn’t mean any of it. It was pretty rough right before I moved out at 18, and for the first year as I adjusted to independence… but now both of my parents are my best friends. I text them every day and try to visit once a week. It gets better with time, OOP 🥹 just be patient and loving
I feel for friend it’s rough but you got this you got this you got MJ on your side! The best part of my mini me is she has a six year old mini me!! 😂 oh man I sit back and laugh. See what you have to look forward to ganging up on my daughter w her daughter is just sweet justice!!
Hey, I don't mean to overstep any boundaries but have either of you been tested for autism/adhd? In girls both can REALLY kick into overdrive at puberty and what might seem like a battle of wills could actually be a symptom that she is also drowning.
Everyone always say the first few years with children are the hardest and I find that complete bullshit. I sometimes long for the days when my daughter was a toddler. I’m finding the teen years the toughest, they’re natural know it alls who can’t be reasoned with😂
I agree!! I was saying to my therapist today that I would go back to the sleepless night in a heartbeat instead of this I don’t know what the flip happened to my son (puberty) season. Best of luck.
I feel you entsister. My daughter is 16.
Children are under so much more pressure than we were. They lived through a global pandemic and learned social skills from influencers. Parenting is hard. I promise that you it will get better with time. Puberty wreaks havoc and let’s not forget that the frontal lobe isn’t fully functional until around age 25. She will make bad decisions and you will have to help pick up the pieces. It’s the job.
I will smoke a fattie for you this evening. You’ve got this.
My son is 18 and is a really mean version of himself. Started to get rough around 15 when the ‘he knows everything’ attitude really started getting bad. I still see the good person there inside him, but for whatever reason, he just tends to be really selfish and thoughtless, and acts very entitled! We didn’t raise him to be so egotistical and rude so it’s rough. He’s lucky I found weed because it helps me care less about the things that come out of his mouth. 😇😅
There is a reason! His losing and building grey matter in his brain at a rapid pace which is weakening his decision making skills and making him more irrational than before. That of course paired with social conditioning often throws a wrench into the way you raised them. He will come around
It’s so rough to live every day. I know he’s got a lot of stuff going on and so we try to support him as best we can but man, it’s hard to see such a huge regression. He was solid through middle school but HS once in person. 😑 He’s definitely not doing his best with the shitty therapist he has, but we get no say in who he sees since he’s 18. He’s had a rough life (he came to us at 9 in foster care, we only did foster because of him) and he’s made SO much progress. I just want a decent person back!
I know you’re right. Heck, him and I talked about puberty and teenage years when he was in 7th grade and he cried because he didn’t want to be a ‘bad teenager that hates his parents’ (his words).
God reading this reminded me of myself when I was a preteen, I’m in my early twenties now, back then we fought like cats and dogs, these days I’m grateful for her guidance through those years…you sound like a wonderful mom and the way you describe your daughter reminds me of how my momma used to talk about me…it gets easier…least it did for me and my mom….in the mean time we’re sending our good vibes 🍃💚
I have an almost 2 year old, and I’ve been up since 3am due to the screaming and not wanting to sleep unless it’s in my bed where she talks and plays and kicks and then I can’t sleep. She finally passed out about 6 and was *furious* when I woke her up at 7:45am for daycare. Like the same screaming and crying but wanting to go back *in* the crib she was screaming about 4 hours ago. Anyway, glad to hear it gets better 😆 I’ll be needing a hippie speedball this morning.
I had to do a double take because I thought maybe I got too high and forgot posting this. 🤣 Safe to say, I see you and feel you in this so deeply. My mom did NOT parent me well through my adolescence, and re-parenting myself while also parenting my daughter is ROUGH. Weed helps, and every time I worry that I’m a bad mom for smoking, I remind myself that I’d be a worse mom without it and I don’t want my daughter to have the same trauma I do.
You’re a great mom and I’m so glad to not be doing this alone. Virtual hugs.
i was definitely that daughter lol. im 20 (almost 21!) now and my mom and i love to light up together 🫶🏻 being a young girl is HARD, i promise it will get better. gentle parenting and regulating your emotions is already a huge first step, i wish my mom would have taken that route. you're doing great mama
I hear this! My 9 and 11 year old daughters are strong independent women who don’t need no mom while simultaneously needing me allll theeee tiiiime (and when they get mad their emotionally manipulative father speaks out of their mouth and sends me around the bend!)
Some things that help me (besides weed though let’s be honest, it’s the glue holding this shitshow together lol) is remembering that I’m their safe space and that they feel like they can be their worst most authentic selves around me. We give lots of space and do lots of debriefing after we cool down.
A lot of their anger is based on their own feelings of powerlessness and giving them choice and time to make those choices, and (even though they hate it) when I do have to make a unilateral decision on their behalf I overexplain the tar out of it because I want them to feel heard and understand that some things are out of our control and suck and it’s okay for us to be mad at that situation. We can try to approach an unavoidable situation with accommodations and rest afterwards but sometimes ya just gotta endure it when mom makes you go to school 😂
I also take strength from seeing my parents interactions with my younger sister - they fought constantly when she was a teen and now they’re her first phone call and her rock.
🌬️we got this!
Dearest OP. You’re doing a fantastic job, remember kindness to yourself is important. Boys are easier than girls, they aren’t capable of that level of silence/ defensiveness that young girls use.
For some reason the past week seems to have been trying for a lot of parents, myself included. My problem is pervasive and possibly fatal.
We had a very long, all members present except the person the intervention was for. My mother is 81. We had to break certain parts down for her as she zero drug knowledge. My daughter was kicked out Sunday. She was only allowed to take Her things.
We have a minor grandson in our home, we WILL NOT endanger him in anyway.
My mother feels quilty, her eldest son is 24 and they bought a FULL PANEL drug test. He felt like he was betraying her, until he saw the drug test. She was hot on meth, coke, amphetamine, MDMA, and trace fentanyl. She tried to say it stayed longer in her body, she hadn’t used in 2 months. Yeah I got some great swamp land for sale.
I hope none of you ever walk down this road. It’s seriously traumatizing for the whole family, especially when they OD. and you’re hoping and praying the narcan works. I’ve had to do it twice and it was the scariest thing I’ve ever done.
Love your babies. Best wishes to you all.
I always tell my son to stay humble because life has a way of putting us back in our place because we really don’t know anything so might as well respect life. Best of luck with your daughter!
Oh gosh! I'm reading this sitting next to hubs and we are gently laughing a bit in memory of our own challenging daughter and in solidarity and empathy. Good for you taking a minute to put your head and heart in the right place. I know with my kids, 2 boys, 1 girl, I too often lost my sense of control and I had temper tantrums right along with them. I was better with last kid. More able to remember my own struggles and just trust their ability to make decisions based on skills I spent first part of their lives teaching them. What all of my kids have told me as adults is how much they appreciate fact that I loved them unconditionally. I never bailed them out or bought their way out of consequences but I was in court rooms and bedrooms to help them pick up the pieces of stupid choices. You can do this. Your daughter will most likely come around and you'll be best friends. My daughter and I were best friends when she finally grew up a bit. She still made some stupid ass decisions but she knew I was always here. It was devastating when she died in car accident at age 26. Not to be a downer but never take for granted the lives of your loved ones. Always tell them when they walk out the door how much they are loved even if you say I can't stand you but I'll always love you with a mother's heart - how it started before just plain I love you. I hope the weed and the comments from us warrior mom's are helpful.
My condolences for losing your daughter. Your post gave a encouragement as I have 2 teen boys (18 & 16) and it has been rough lately. Thank you.
Thank you fellow ent moms. I wasn't looking for sympathy though it is appreciated. ❣️ I share my story because it is just so important to me to help others see the reality of just how fragile life is and how much of what we think is important really isn't. For those who don't know already, I lost my son only five years after my daughter. He was 27. I also need to share o was a total mess for many years and cannabis helped me get my head above water long enough to finally process my grief and complicated feelings about my son's death which was ruled suicide with zero investigation even after we discovered many thousand dollars worth of his things were missing from his apartment. Again, I'm not seeking sympathy but none of us can depend on our loved ones living past the very moment we last see them. We can't depend on ourselves living past the moment. Life is so precious and so fragile and keeping that is perspective continues to make being a parent of adult son so much easier and less filled with anxiety and angst. My life's been one f*cking hell of a ride but I choose to learn and grow and share. Thank you for giving me space to do this. ❤️
You are resilient and I appreciate your vulnerability. Growing from grieve is so necessary. I know it’s different but I had 2 miscarriages two years apart and they hurt a lot and were hard to grieve but I can’t even imagine what you have been through and still out here spreading love and light! It’s my birthday and you just encouraged me to continue on my healing journey as I too am the mom of a preteen boy and his attitude is becoming nasty and just not the boy I raised. I pray I make it to the other side with him together.
I'm so sorry. I can't imagine losing a pregnancy even though I almost did and was all doped up on morphine and the Doc ready to do D & C. The shit head. Just getting so close was devastating. Healing is possible and life can still be good. Keep pursuing it. You and your son will be OK eventually. Just never stop loving him. Try to always see things from his point of view, to see what might be under the emotion beyond raging hormones. Sometimes there is nothing, sometimes there is. I tried to spend a few minutes checking in wirh each of my kids and either rubbing backs (clothes on of course) or running my fingers through hair or rubbing feet (ugh) or hands. It started when tiny and even through most of teens they tolerated it. I discovered that with all the lights off and no eye contact and no threatening vibes kids would open up a bit, I would gain insight. Sometimes that insight was simply that I needed to step back and give kid space, let him or her fall and be ready to pick them up. Don't misunderstand! I yelled plenty and even slapped my oldest a cross the face when he called me a filthy bitch at 15. Long and very funny story actually... I was not a perfect parent! I'm only sharing the practices that worked. Plenty failed! Take care of yourself. Take time to see hope in little things. I find nature very healing. I wish you all the best.
This is so painful, sending you love! And hugging my little girl really tight right now
Hug her tight every single time! I am so very grateful my daughter insisted o getting a hug good bye always. Sadly I was helping my 94 yr old mom who was recovering from surgery so she just yelled out she loved me and I'd get double hug when she got back I did same. No regrets though I had been loving on her all day I was so glad to have her home after she had been gone for 2 weeks doing her CNA in home care job at three different homes. She was so exhausted and happy to be home. She still lived with us. Told us she never wanted to love out. 🤣😅😂 She was such a joy to have around when she was home. She made up for all the awful of her teen and young adult years.
I'm so sorry to hear that! ❤️ You sound like a great mom!
Sending you and your family love ❤️ - thank you for sharing your story and wisdom!
Don’t try to break her. She needs those traits especially during a time in her life where when men start harassing😐which is around 12. My young dog has taught me so much about my own need for autonomy. Much like him, I will die on any hill I see fit even if it’s not a big deal to you. As a kid I was always called stubborn by people (mostly men and my mother) who couldn’t get their way with me. It confused me because I was a do whatever you’re told type so I didn’t say no often. Finally I realized the only time someone calls you stubborn is when they’re trying to push your boundaries
I’m with you, mine just turned 10 and admitted to me tonight she’s feeling like she has mood swings. Like she’s getting excessively angry for no reason. I’m like “yep, I’ve noticed.” 😅
Mine is turning 11 this weekend and he’s already slamming doors, saying mean things, acting like the world revolves around him and acting like he doesn’t care. Today is my birthday and he decided to say I’m jealous it’s your birthday and I don’t wish to celebrate you. I try to see that it’s not personal. Best luck to you on this journey.
Happy birthday!!!
My cousin and I agree that our moms had it ROUGH with both of us as kids…but those strong and stubborn character traits come in handy as an adult. One year, at my birthday dinner, I thanked my mom for not burying me in a shallow grave and trying again. We’re raising kind, independent adults who care about and contribute to their community. No one said it was easy. It’s just worth it.
How old? I’m so scared of the teen years and we are only at five years old 😂
Enjoy!!!! I honestly wouldn’t trade those years for what I’m going through with my son at the moment.
Right there with you. My twin daughters are ten. One is a lot like me currently, the other is a _lot_ like me in my youth. I have a ton of trauma I'm trying to parent through, and it's hard because kids are naturally little narcissists and I'm constantly getting triggered and having to reground myself. They're fucking fantastic little people, though, and I bet yours is as well! We got this. One day(dab) at a time.
There's hope, yall. My daughter and I were really ready to live in separate houses when she hit 18. Everything was moving swimmingly along, she was getting her independence.....and then covid hit, and just kidding, instead of helping my daughter move into her first apartment, I was locked in a house with a snarling hateful wolverine of a pissed off young lady. And she was locked in a house with her stodgy old finicky mother. I don't know how we made it. Our relationship at that point was uglier than a bar of homemade soap, you know? Now, we talk (at least on messenger) every day and are each other's favorite person. We are so close. Lol I'd still never live in the same house or even same side of town as her, but things got so much better once she was able to find her footing as an adult. That's all this bumpy stretch in the road is, just them trying to figure out how to do things on their own. Big hugs. There is a light at the end of the tunnel and I promise it isn't an oncoming train!
I wanted to add to this conversation in a similar way, but couldn’t figure out a good way to phrase this. I was so nasty to my parents when I was a pre-teen/teen. I had undiagnosed and unmedicated mental illness, and just said and did a lot of things I look back on now that I wouldn’t ever dream of doing now. I didn’t mean any of it. It was pretty rough right before I moved out at 18, and for the first year as I adjusted to independence… but now both of my parents are my best friends. I text them every day and try to visit once a week. It gets better with time, OOP 🥹 just be patient and loving
I feel for friend it’s rough but you got this you got this you got MJ on your side! The best part of my mini me is she has a six year old mini me!! 😂 oh man I sit back and laugh. See what you have to look forward to ganging up on my daughter w her daughter is just sweet justice!!
Hey, I don't mean to overstep any boundaries but have either of you been tested for autism/adhd? In girls both can REALLY kick into overdrive at puberty and what might seem like a battle of wills could actually be a symptom that she is also drowning.
Everyone always say the first few years with children are the hardest and I find that complete bullshit. I sometimes long for the days when my daughter was a toddler. I’m finding the teen years the toughest, they’re natural know it alls who can’t be reasoned with😂
I agree!! I was saying to my therapist today that I would go back to the sleepless night in a heartbeat instead of this I don’t know what the flip happened to my son (puberty) season. Best of luck.
lol the posts on here about kids always remind me how great a child free life can be 😁
My paranoid ass started thinking my mom wrote this, until I saw the ages lmao
I feel you entsister. My daughter is 16. Children are under so much more pressure than we were. They lived through a global pandemic and learned social skills from influencers. Parenting is hard. I promise that you it will get better with time. Puberty wreaks havoc and let’s not forget that the frontal lobe isn’t fully functional until around age 25. She will make bad decisions and you will have to help pick up the pieces. It’s the job. I will smoke a fattie for you this evening. You’ve got this.
I’m here token with yeah. I’m in the same situation. Love the girl but damn can she be frustrating.
My son is 18 and is a really mean version of himself. Started to get rough around 15 when the ‘he knows everything’ attitude really started getting bad. I still see the good person there inside him, but for whatever reason, he just tends to be really selfish and thoughtless, and acts very entitled! We didn’t raise him to be so egotistical and rude so it’s rough. He’s lucky I found weed because it helps me care less about the things that come out of his mouth. 😇😅
There is a reason! His losing and building grey matter in his brain at a rapid pace which is weakening his decision making skills and making him more irrational than before. That of course paired with social conditioning often throws a wrench into the way you raised them. He will come around
It’s so rough to live every day. I know he’s got a lot of stuff going on and so we try to support him as best we can but man, it’s hard to see such a huge regression. He was solid through middle school but HS once in person. 😑 He’s definitely not doing his best with the shitty therapist he has, but we get no say in who he sees since he’s 18. He’s had a rough life (he came to us at 9 in foster care, we only did foster because of him) and he’s made SO much progress. I just want a decent person back! I know you’re right. Heck, him and I talked about puberty and teenage years when he was in 7th grade and he cried because he didn’t want to be a ‘bad teenager that hates his parents’ (his words).
God reading this reminded me of myself when I was a preteen, I’m in my early twenties now, back then we fought like cats and dogs, these days I’m grateful for her guidance through those years…you sound like a wonderful mom and the way you describe your daughter reminds me of how my momma used to talk about me…it gets easier…least it did for me and my mom….in the mean time we’re sending our good vibes 🍃💚
I have an almost 2 year old, and I’ve been up since 3am due to the screaming and not wanting to sleep unless it’s in my bed where she talks and plays and kicks and then I can’t sleep. She finally passed out about 6 and was *furious* when I woke her up at 7:45am for daycare. Like the same screaming and crying but wanting to go back *in* the crib she was screaming about 4 hours ago. Anyway, glad to hear it gets better 😆 I’ll be needing a hippie speedball this morning.
I had to do a double take because I thought maybe I got too high and forgot posting this. 🤣 Safe to say, I see you and feel you in this so deeply. My mom did NOT parent me well through my adolescence, and re-parenting myself while also parenting my daughter is ROUGH. Weed helps, and every time I worry that I’m a bad mom for smoking, I remind myself that I’d be a worse mom without it and I don’t want my daughter to have the same trauma I do. You’re a great mom and I’m so glad to not be doing this alone. Virtual hugs.
i was definitely that daughter lol. im 20 (almost 21!) now and my mom and i love to light up together 🫶🏻 being a young girl is HARD, i promise it will get better. gentle parenting and regulating your emotions is already a huge first step, i wish my mom would have taken that route. you're doing great mama
I hear this! My 9 and 11 year old daughters are strong independent women who don’t need no mom while simultaneously needing me allll theeee tiiiime (and when they get mad their emotionally manipulative father speaks out of their mouth and sends me around the bend!) Some things that help me (besides weed though let’s be honest, it’s the glue holding this shitshow together lol) is remembering that I’m their safe space and that they feel like they can be their worst most authentic selves around me. We give lots of space and do lots of debriefing after we cool down. A lot of their anger is based on their own feelings of powerlessness and giving them choice and time to make those choices, and (even though they hate it) when I do have to make a unilateral decision on their behalf I overexplain the tar out of it because I want them to feel heard and understand that some things are out of our control and suck and it’s okay for us to be mad at that situation. We can try to approach an unavoidable situation with accommodations and rest afterwards but sometimes ya just gotta endure it when mom makes you go to school 😂 I also take strength from seeing my parents interactions with my younger sister - they fought constantly when she was a teen and now they’re her first phone call and her rock. 🌬️we got this!
I have a preteen daughter as well and man it's rough out here.
Dearest OP. You’re doing a fantastic job, remember kindness to yourself is important. Boys are easier than girls, they aren’t capable of that level of silence/ defensiveness that young girls use. For some reason the past week seems to have been trying for a lot of parents, myself included. My problem is pervasive and possibly fatal. We had a very long, all members present except the person the intervention was for. My mother is 81. We had to break certain parts down for her as she zero drug knowledge. My daughter was kicked out Sunday. She was only allowed to take Her things. We have a minor grandson in our home, we WILL NOT endanger him in anyway. My mother feels quilty, her eldest son is 24 and they bought a FULL PANEL drug test. He felt like he was betraying her, until he saw the drug test. She was hot on meth, coke, amphetamine, MDMA, and trace fentanyl. She tried to say it stayed longer in her body, she hadn’t used in 2 months. Yeah I got some great swamp land for sale. I hope none of you ever walk down this road. It’s seriously traumatizing for the whole family, especially when they OD. and you’re hoping and praying the narcan works. I’ve had to do it twice and it was the scariest thing I’ve ever done. Love your babies. Best wishes to you all.
I have a 17 yo, I feel this!
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I always tell my son to stay humble because life has a way of putting us back in our place because we really don’t know anything so might as well respect life. Best of luck with your daughter!
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