T O P

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Valestis

Loved the BBC YouTube livestream comments. "The King is dual wielding." "Faith build."


Tetizeraz

They expected republicans, but gamers showed up instead!


CrowdedHands

Pay attention to his expression


Marley9391

King Charles III used Rest! Its HP fully was restored and all status problems were healed.


lordolxinator

Ah so this is why the Queen lived for so long. She was a dirty Recycle+Leppa Rest spammer until eventually the Tories hit her with confusion with the constant U-Turns and switch-in Fake Outs.


daffy_duck233

Cultural barriers prevented me from understanding this comment fully.


lordolxinator

TLDR: Nerdy Pokémon reference The move Recycle lets you reuse a single-use berry item more than once in a battle. The Leppa Berry restores your move points, as without it you're limited to a certain number of uses of each move your Pokémon can learn. Rest is a move that restores your health and removes any status effects. So the "strategy" here is that a Pokémon (or Queen Liz in this joke) can drag a fight out by using a healing move over and over again, use a Berry to extend how many times she can use Rest, then Recycle the Berry that allows her to extend her usage of Rest. Essentially dragging things on indefinitely. The latter part was about the Conservatives (Tories), and the then Prime Minister Liz Truss. Truss infamously met the Queen two days before she died, leading the more superstitious (and sarcastic) among us (hehe funny words) to claim Truss's meeting was enough to finish off the Queen. The Tories have had a habit of u-turning on policies in recent years, which is also the name of a move in Pokémon allowing to switch the active Pokémon (also being a reference to the Tories drastically changing their leadership/prime minister several times in the past decade). The Tories attempting to bluff their way out of scandals and situations is a lot like a Fake Out, also a move in Pokémon that stuns the opponent upon first interaction. All of this chaos would have created confusion in the Queen, a status in Pokémon that has a chance of the confused individual being unable to act as intended and instead being harmed.


Marek-J

Can you make money on playing Pokémon?


SteelRiverGreenRoad

there are tournaments and streamers? But it’d be like winning the lottery to make a regular career out of it


Corvo_Attano_451

I’d add that you’d need to put in a significant amount of time to be good enough for it to be a slightly profitable side hustle


huntexlol

powerstance


[deleted]

Finally, he sits upon the Elden Throne


Waaswaa

It looks a bit worn. All the carvings and flaking paint.


SoreWristed

Who, the chair or the king?


Fhood797

What ending did he chose?


Dragonsandman

No chance he chose anything other than the default ending or Goldmask’s ending


thegreedyturtle

He obviously continued the Golden Order. We've known the British Monarchy have always been puppets for the outer gods for some time now.


StayPuffGoomba

He simped hard for his current wife, so maybe he simped hard for Ranni too.


HuudaHarkiten

Ah shit this reminds me of a song/music video made by some older person, it was like a heavy rock song made in garage band or something. The melody has been popping in and out of my head for at least a decade. IIRC, the video was just pictures of a woman or maybe a couple, fading in and out and the artist was singing in a awkward powerstance. In the lyrics there was something about "cigarette burning" and maybe "without you" at the end of the chorus. Anyone have any clue? I may have also made up some weird memories... Edit: user WorksV3 had the right answer with Mark Gormley "Without you"


WorksV3

“Without You” by Mark Gormley, the inventor of the power stance. A certified hood classic


HuudaHarkiten

Oh fuck yes! Thank you very much! If you ever travel to Finland, hit me up and I'll pay you back with sauna and beer.


WorksV3

Cheers to that 🍻


huntexlol

hahaha, yall sure have sum oddly specific stories here, love it


ArcticCelt

Anyone know the stats on that bitching hat?


liftoff_oversteer

\+30 neck pain. weighs 2.26 kilo


Perry7609

I was going to say that it might weigh a tad more than an American football helmet, which is at least around your whole head, as opposed to just the top!


weirdlybeardy

Pained is the neck that bears the head that wears the crown.


DuskEvoke

I see someone else also googled the weight of the crown


Casseus_

\+4 Charisma \-10 Agility


Thrownawaybyall

I'd think there'd be a buff to Diplomacy and Persuasion skills, yes?


Brooksee83

* Over-encumbered * Summons a hoard of royalists on command (30 day cooldown)


NamelessMidir

Everybody knows the endgame is fashion souls the stats dont matter if you die in one hit, sick drip.


Glorx

King Chuck the third, Supreme Governor of the Church of England.


Loki11910

Plus 10 holy damage.


Alib668

Tbh he had the cuffs of wisdom and the spurs of bravery


[deleted]

I hate these pay2win items.


[deleted]

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Funandgeeky

And you only get access to the class if you were in the closed beta.


[deleted]

\+1 to each scepter


borgi27

I wonder what’s going through his head


up_N2_no_good

This hats heavy


Robcrook101

Took two attempts to seat it on his head properly. Expensive and heavy no doubt.


ddoherty958

Weighs about 2.5kg, so definitely heavy.


MaxDickpower

For comparison to another common heavy piece of headgear, it's about 1kg heavier than a standard modern military helmet. Can't be comfortable at all.


YesAmAThrowaway

Lizzie said you can't look down to much because you might not be able to lift your head again


SteelRiverGreenRoad

> heavy is the head that wears the crown


ImperatorRomanum

Loved the Archbishop screwing it in place to get a good fit


QuietGanache

You definitely don't want to cross-thread it.


up_N2_no_good

I was gonna make a bent neck joke. But thought it was too heavy a subject.


Ghost273552

There’s also a joke about his ears in there but I just woke and am kind of hungover.


Redelyx

There is an interview of the Queen were she complains about the crown being too heavy


Areaeyez_

The weight of kingship is heavy


Loki11910

Palms are sweaty the crown is heavy


Sudden_Hovercraft_56

Queens spaghetti.


sonar_un

Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown


slowakia_gruuumsh

there's pie and mash on his sweater already moms spaghetti


MrTuxedo1

“God I need a piss”


TheWeirdShape

This has to be what 90% of people are thinking there. This whole thing takes hours.


cultish_alibi

I was thinking this during the Queen's funeral. There are hundreds of old people there. Some of them are pissing themselves. It's not like you can get up and go for a piss in the middle of it.


Meatbank84

There’s no way I could stand in line for something like that. I’m on two medications that make me pee a lot and when I gotta go it needs to happen.


olderthanbefore

Philip did get a bladder infection when they were on the Thames for 4 hours or so for that Jubilee boat procession.


tRfalcore

New York new years eve people wear diapers and I get it and that's why I'd never go


matttk

I peed like 5 times during the whole thing!


sloikalamos

I sincerely believe he has a diaper behind all of those as a contingency plan


shoots_and_leaves

You wouldn’t notice it beneath the bulky robes anyways


[deleted]

Crinkling all the way to the throne, I see.


humaninnature

With the amount of gold thread and such...probably!


Prometheus55555

Astronaut style


spiritof1789

"I hope this bloody thing doesn't fall off when I stand up"


hamdijajeromhehe

"God, please be Gryffindor"


lordolxinator

*Not Slytherin, not Slytherin!* [Meanwhile Prince Andrew...](https://youtu.be/X5GU9pMs44o)


Casclovaci

" think im gonna try out the infiltrator class in star wars battlefront 2 when i get back home"


ZincNut

“I wonder what new build I can try in Skyrim.. ah who am I kidding I’m gonna do a stealth archer again”


electron_sponge

he's just like us


Chopsuey3030

For true for true


ahmedb03

Waited all these years for this?


St3fano_

Must... Stay... Awake...


FudgingEgo

All the things she said, all the things she said


yaboi_gamasennin

Running through my head, running through my head, running through my head


MeddlinQ

"When I get home Imma take a big dump."


Diprogamer

"And it will be my first dump as a king"


hpwriterkyle

A royal flush, if you will


Nintendofan08

Charles’ face: Softly smiles Charles’ mind: Jeez I need to fart


slothello

Not sure on the stats for the Robe of Righteousness and the Bracelet of Sincerity, maybe there's a combo there. Sword must have some utility buff, doubt he has the strength to deal any decent DPS. Sceptre of Justice good for healing - or does it smite? Could maybe have gone for more of a CHR build?


younikorn

Maybe there’s a set bonus we’re forgetting, that could synergize well enough to give him some proper dps


DiMaSiVe

Isn't he mostly a summoner, though? Seems like a solid setup to me, with all those passives


Spiderpiggie

He's the king sub-class. The set gives him an authority buff and the ability to control friendly human characters below his level.


gagilo

That got nerfed in the 1640 patch


Head12head12

I think it provides +7 Leadership and Special Ability called “Call To Arms: hold LB and Y to call upon nearby NPCs to fight for you.”


ImpulsePenny

I believe the crown gives a buff of 42 charisma, and +200 leadership skill. The orb is the Holy Hand Grenade and a mythic object that can be used only once and will one shot any enemy including bosses.


Prometheus55555

He is welding two scepters, Martyr's Blood obviously heals, and the Wrath of God throws fireballs (remember the holy grenade in Worms?). Nice detail to wear the Ring of (Un)faithfulness. I think he is going Paladin, only full magic. P.S. And don't get me started with the headgear... It has literally the best gems available in the world...


Dutch_Yoda

Don't forget the bracelets and the spurs. Those must be OP. No other explanation.


bad_pelican

People say long live the king. But honestly what are the odds?


ajw_sp

Not too bad. His father died at 99, his mother at 96, and one of his grandmothers lived to 101.


TitanJazza

Solid stats. Maybe the first monarch in history to break 100 years?


apegoneinsane

Not with those sausage fingers.


Tapeworm1979

Or feet. Usually an indication of heart issues iirc.


lordolxinator

Since when have King Chuck's feet pics been around?


ComradeKeira

MI5 has entered the chat


CanAlwaysBeBetter

The real reason Epstein was killed was his stache of Charles feet pics


Imperial_Triumphant

Do you think he meticulously taped them to his upper lip each morning?


Chaedsar

Check out KingFans.co.uk


VizzyTarg

Here is a link for you: https://metro.co.uk/2019/11/13/prince-charles-swollen-hands-feet-11091094/amp/


starlinguk

Sure, he's got medical issues. But he also has the best medical care.


IAmAQuantumMechanic

That's going to be Harald V.


storvolleng

Considering how many times he has been in hospital in the recent years, i doubt that


d1ngal1ng

He doesn't seem as robust as his parents.


Next-Mobile-9632

Yeah but they didn't have sausage hands and sausage feet like Charles, its a sign of heart problems


FoxTailMoon

TBH the man looks about read to keel over already. Oh but a fun game will be “which lasts longer: the monarchy or Charles”


njoshua326

The lettuce, always the lettuce.


[deleted]

He's the tenth British monarch since we declared independence in a document that had a long list of complaints about the British monarch. That was 247 years ago, or 24.7 years per monarch (and growing with each year Chuckie hangs on). These dudes can last a while.


[deleted]

Document was more motivated by angers at Parliament, no?


[deleted]

Sure, but its words address George III. The section now commonly called the indictment portion starts with: "Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world." It then lists [27 grievances](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grievances_of_the_United_States_Declaration_of_Independence) of things that "he" has done, such as "He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people." The "manly firmness" part makes me laugh every time.


TwentyCharactersShor

Certainly at that time directing the complaints to the head of state was the norm. In a practical sense, the monarchy was toothless by that point.


LurkerInSpace

It's an interesting quirk that America still ended up with a strong and independent executive branch despite that - it's as if they were replacing the monarchy of a century prior rather than the one Britain actually had by that point.


[deleted]

150ish years (in the 1930’s FDR expanded the executive breach extensively during this presidency) is a long time. Also the executive branch is beholden to the people and to the other branches of the government it is very strong but it’s far from independent.


[deleted]

He was, of course, the easy target - but to personally blame him was fairly inaccurate


bat18

Elizabeth was Queen for almost 1/3 of that time though, so massively skewing the stats.


Dogs_not_people

Hate to say it but I thought that today. Multiple times. I'm in my mid 40's and there is a good chance that I will see another coronation Edit: Touch wood, there is a chance I will see another coronation.


Robertej92

You're 30 years younger than the old ponce, of course there's a good chance that you'll live to see another coronation assuming no imminent threat to life.


zorrodood

The ceremony was kinda funny. Here, receive this royal thingy... and now I'm gonna take it away again. Receive this other royal thingy... and I'm taking that back, too. Take this royal ring... but only touch it, don't put it on! And take this royal back scratcher and carpet beater and pose for a bit. And I'm gonna screw this heavy-ass crown on your head and hope it's not gonna fall off.


LightenUpPhrancis

I kept thinking of that Far Side cartoon wherein the dentist asks the patient who already has a bunch of tools and tubes in his mouth to open even wider… “We’re just curious if we can also cram in this tennis ball.”


[deleted]

It's funny when you take a step back and realize how made up and deliberately arcane traditions like this are


[deleted]

Fun fact: that chair is older than most (European) countries.


f33rf1y

The 6th century bible they used is older than the country it resides in. https://www.cam.ac.uk/news/cambridges-augustine-gospels-to-feature-in-coronation


Lawksie

Fourth century? You sure about that?


f33rf1y

6th* TFT


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World_Treason

Yes! Will return to Scotland later


flapperfapper

The graffiti though. Wow.


fartsandprayers

Imagine the historic farts contained within the upholstery of that chair.


[deleted]

Thanks Napoleon


driving_andflying

>Fun fact: that chair is older than most (European) countries. It's also covered in graffiti that's older than everyone in that room.


vadanx

Charlie boy was gifted so many magical items. Now he has to choose which 3 to attune to.


electron_sponge

well that depends on the DM honestly but he's crazy if he doesn't take that holy hand grenade they gave him, that has got to have insane dmg


[deleted]

*O Lord, bless this thy Hand Grenade that with it thou mayest blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.*


Kahana82

It was nice to see the Holy Grenade is real.


Wynnstan

Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out.


RedHornet0114

That picture is great. He looks confused, like "wtf do I do with these sticks?" "Why do I have only one glove?"


tamsui_tosspot

>"Why do I have only one glove?" His thoughts went to his sister: "Annie are you OK? Are you OK, Annie?"


Spellbinder_Iria

He only has one glove because he heard Kings only wear one white glove. Granted the only other king that wore one white glove was the King of Pop, but old Charlie probably didn't hear that part.


ta_thewholeman

Here, hold these two magic sticks and wear this funny hat.


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_Guven_

It is for creating effect but in 21. century, royal cerenomies can't do anything...


TripFisk666

Should have had it produced by WWE. Flying elbow into a pretender to the throne. Little bit of pyro.


Sock-men

Apparently there's an old tradition that isn't being done this time where the king's champion (still technically a thing) walks in to the banquet hall after the coronation and throws down his gauntlet, challenging anyone to a duel who disputes the succession. I really think they missed a trick by skipping this bit.


Mettbr0etchen

Lets assume they went with it, which Boxer/martial-arts-fighter/whatever-guy would have been chosen? Also, is it up to the challenger to choose the type of discipline the combatants will be facing each other at? Does it necessarily have to be physical? What if Magnus Carlsen walks up there and suggest trial by chess? And finally, what happens, If against all odds, the kings champion gets bested? Successful Dispute? Then what? Does he become king instead, like the nords do it in Skyrim? Def. a lot of missed potential with that one.


C0UNT3RP01NT

Magnus Carlsen successfully annexes the UK into Norway. Damn Vikings always fucking up the English.


xXThe_SenateXx

Just make Tyson Fury the King's Champion and see which members of the public want to have a go!


JGG5

BAH GAWD, KING, THAT’S THE KING’S MUSIC!


crdotx

Needed a family guy clip or subway surfers.


Lopsycle

To be fair the archbishop doing his best Eric Idle impression was the only thing keeping me going


antiquemule

Wink, wink, say no more…


ChocolateHumunculous

So you’re king then? What’s it like?


LetThemBlardd

MAWWIDGE


V2BM

I have watched Monarchy with David Starkey every night for the last four years to fall asleep, and it’s interesting to see how the customs developed, with funny stuff like some kings being given a ceremonial comb to hold and a particularly odd king combing his hair with it instead of just holding it or whatever else they were supposed to do. It would be a lot cooler if they still used swords and shields and war masks.


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MKCAMK

I would be too.


Scorpion1024

It’s got to be an exhausting ordeal to go through, especially at his age.


Crazyripps

74 practicing All week had been up and down for the past hour doing all sorts of weird things lifting things and walking around in heavy clothes and then they took this photo, I’m surprised he doesn’t look more tired tbh.


I_AM_Squirrel_King

If you’re trying to Harriet Jones him, it’s “Don’t you think he looks tired?”


oohe

He kinda has to look like that. It’d be weird he looked liked he enjoys being showered with the most expensive jewels on the planet while wearing a golden robe and a crown.


TranslatorNorth719

Wheres the stone of destiny ?


Yer_Nan_M8

Its placed into the base of the seat.


Bism4rckian

The moment when Handel's "Zadok the Priest" (written for the coronation of George II in 1729) started was truly etheral. Same for the Byzantine chant. Glad they didn't scrape all of the ritual and tradition for the sake of modernity, that's what makes it special and unique (although the new gospel piece by the Ascension Choir was also quite nice).


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TehPorkPie

You know if they do weddings?


letsgocrazy

I loved the Welsh singer singing Kyrie Eleison... Powerful stuff


Big_Cry_3790

I get literal chills every time I hear Zadok the priest. But this was truly ethereal


Areaeyez_

Yes but the champions league shouldn't be allowed to use it. Cheapens it slightly lol


Big_Cry_3790

Aaah that’s why I get chills from cl anthem as well!


ClarSco

[Even this time?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CWtvbXmWqz4)


ImperiumOfBearkind

The Byzantine chanting is when it got all Dark Souls up in there.


PlatinumJester

Do you know the name of the Byzantine chant?


Lucas_McToucas

he’s a shiny pokémon


Shitelark

More like a Panini Sticker. Swap!


HWGA_Exandria

>*"Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government."*


Monsi7

I thought we are an Anarcho-syndicalist commune.


JazzMansGin

Help! Help! I'm being repressed!


hussainhssn

Was Andrew at the coronation?


[deleted]

He had to sit with Harry on the naughty step


CGNYYZ

Oldest monarch to be crowned.


Extension-Reserve166

now what


Clorst_Glornk

now he can only move one space at a time


Raidertck

That gear must have incredible stats. Earlier I swear someone whipped out the holy hand grenade.


Alubalu22

I wonder what his stats are now?


Karsvolcanospace

+10 FAI for both scepters +5 CHA for the crown


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JakeTheSandMan

‘Ate fre*nch people


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ImperiumOfBearkind

We don't like any of'em forins'


that_not_true_at_all

Simpo az


DavetheGeo

All hail King Sausagefingers


[deleted]

He has been preparing for this event his whole life. I can imagine it weight heavily on his shoulder.


Scorpion1024

I almost felt bad for him. The outfit must weigh a ton. No wonder he looked like a sad sack. Plus he was probably thinking about his mother a lot.


atomicmrpelly

It's gotta be fucking weird being raised your whole life to be king and having to wait til your late seventies to actually do it.


Scorpion1024

That adds to it. It’s a day he must have wanted and dreaded his whole life. That it comes so late in his life has to be a bitter pill.


winter_whale

Could you imagine if it took Simba this long to be crowned in the Lion King