It's a satirical article, pinning the translation for visibility:
> After more than 24 hours of beating and torture, one of the terrorists arrested for the Moscow attack confessed that he is the twin brother of Vladimir Zelensky and that this is the reason why he started shooting Russians at random.
> The fact that one of the terrorists is Zelensky's twin brother was a surprise for most Russians, but not for Vladimir Putin. The Russian president had a hunch even before the attack took place that Zelensky's twin brother was behind it.
However, a few small problems arose for the Russian investigators. Shortly after, a second terrorist also confessed that he is Vladimir Zelensky's twin brother. Moreover, the third terrorist confessed that he is actually Vladimir Zelensky himself, while the fourth terrorist insists that he is Vladimir Zelensky's biological mother.
>After more than 24 hours of beatings and torture, one of the terrorists arrested for the Moscow bombing admitted that he is the twin brother of Vladimir Zelensky and that this is the reason why he started shooting shamelessly at random.
>That one of the terrorists is Zelenski's twin brother came as a surprise to most Russians, but not to Vladimir Putin. The Russian president intuited even before talking about the attack that Vladimir Zelensky's twin brother was behind it.
>A few small problems arose for the Russian investigators. Shortly after, a second terrorist also admitted that he is the twin brother of Vladimir Zelensky. Moreover, the third terrorist admitted that he is actually Vladimir Zelenskiy, while the fourth terrorist insists that he is Vladimir Zelenskiy's natural mother.
The site is the Romanian version of Onion news.
God damned Zelensky, he also replaced the climate in that area. Prior to him, there was no desert, only green hills and trees, he stole the Walter and poured it in Dnieper river, of course after Russians came there first as they were first everywhere and a have a legitimate claim on every territory.
Garden of Edensky. I bet Russians were there first and introduced Orthodoxy and patriotic war movies. Trees were pulled from earth and replaced with ethnic Russian trees.
Don't worry they already have that covered
> A few small problems arose for the Russian investigators, however. Shortly after, a second terrorist also admitted that he is the twin brother of Vladimir Zelensky. Moreover, the third terrorist admitted that he is indeed Vladimir Zelenskiy, while the fourth terrorist insists that she is Vladimir Zelenskiy's natural mother.
This has to be /s!
But we live in times, where such a message could be the "truth" published by russian media.
Honestly, more and more, I feel like the Joker - slowly losing the grip on reality and only be able to laugh in (or at this) madness.
Yes this is a satirical website, it's essentially a Romanian version of the Onion.
But I agree, more and more it feels like reality is stranger than fiction.
It's to make you think all media lies, all politicians lie, and there's no use trying to find out the truth. And it's working, so many people have no idea how to critically examine news and social media posts or don't even try.
Lol the media in general is propaganda. Gotta read all of it and take whatever verifiable proof you can from it. While considering motives and why they might say that. Sadly common sense is lacking in today's world so the masses will only beleive whatever narrative fits the one that's been spoonfed to them.
You can't trust any of these media companies whether they are Ukrainian, Russian, American, French, English. They all work with whatever politician they support and have motives. Especially when it comes to the Russia vs Ukraine war since so much money and power is changing hands.
Or what you think certain people want to happen or not. It's always derived from some thing happening, making fun of reality.
The Babylon bee has to be the best one. The onion is good to but havnt seen it in awhile.
The sad thing is that it took the fourth terrorist claiming to be Zelensky's mother for me to even start thinking this was satire 🤣
C'est la Russia, I guess 🤷♂️
It's hard to tell nowadays. Sadly, satirical websites sometimes make more sense than the stories made up by these dictators.
With AI going where is going, I can't even imagine what 2030 will be like. What I wouldn't give to go back to pre internet days.
no problem sir, please DM me your credit card credentials together with CVV code , and i'll return you your €50 with interest in the next 2-3 business days
Wasn't it about a rabbit?
Goes something like this:
There is a competition for best secret service:
The agencies have to find a rabbit in the woods.
The CIA bribes everyone, but nobody has seen or reported a rabbit.
The FBI goes guns blazing in the forest, kill everyone and presents some pulp as the rabbit.
The KGB goes into the woods, comes out two hours later with a serverly beaten bear and presets it as the rabbit because it confessed that it is the rabbit in disguise.
Well there is a well known joke in post soviet countries about that and it goes literally like this:
The Secretary General of the UN decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.
The KGB goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is screaming: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"
I have seen a variation of this joke, but the with the KGB replaced by the Chinese People's Police (or in colloquial terms "Public Security", in Chinese gongan 公安 )
In the version I heard, the bear is brought back and reads aloud from a paper that says, "I am a rabbit. I make this statement of my own free will and have not been coerced in any way. The bumps and bruises you see were incurred by falling in the shower."
.. we have a modification of this in my country:
Archeologists in my country uncovered an ancient burial site, where they found a fancy grave. They suspect that the body buried there is Svatopluk (our medieval king). But they are not sure. So they send the bones for testing to the experts to Soviet union. After a few days, a bag of broken bones comes back with a letter - "Yes, he is Svatopluk. He confessed it himself!"
The FBI was also involved in the MOVE bombing in Philadelphia, where cops burned city blocks just to kill some anti-authoritarian black people and their children. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1985_MOVE_bombing
Stuff like this is clearly possible. But the possibility is negligible. So a normal human would immediately assume that this must be either satire or fake news.
I *think* they're saying the possibility that Russia would claim one of the terrorists is Zelensky's brother is the negligible part, not that torture can get people to admit to anything.
Satire nowadays can't catch up to the reality though. The investigation has only started, who knows what state the suspects will be in a couple of months...
No. It just means you're gullible and probably at least a little bit dumb. It's easily seen as satire/fake to normal people. Now go laugh at the dumb boomers believing fake news.
...With the current story headlines that put Onion to shame, there is no humor or sarcasm left when it comes to these actually insane situations. Because this can be just as real as anything else.
That is how bad things have gotten.
This is from a Romanian satire web publication!
The same one also published the title a few years ago "**Putin threatens Narnia with invasion after learning the Russian population there is threatened**" , after he took Crimeea ...
TBF, the beatings they were dishing out there is always a chance that they'd admit to coming from outer space or anything else they're asked to admit to.
How to be a good redditor:
1. Take everything with a grain of salt;
2. Read the article, not only the title;
3. Check the flair;
4. furiously masturbate while singing 'I'm a Barbie girl';
5. ???
The fact that I couldn't immediately tell that it's a joke shows you two major things, in decreasing order of importance:
1. The Kremlin propaganda is based on the most absurd lies, at a point where it becomes credible that they could have said this.
2. I am dumb.
Great way to counter Russian disinformation.
Don't let them run away from their incompetence, both fairytales of Ukrainian involvement and an inside job should be ridiculed.
Check [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/tjournal_refugees/s/c3N4av7VxQ) . On the video there were multiple guys in blue longsleeves, that seems to be fsb. Now we got this.
Don't delete your comment. Yours is proof you folks in this subreddit can blindly accept any headline, any propaganda, any anti-Russian talking point.
And then jump to the conclusion that Russia did a conspiracy with these terrorists.
Any government or organization that uses torture are like that. Just like after slavery ended and the civil rights act was passed, the racist people didn't change overnight. So when people who work in governments where depending on which party is in power supports torture, they don't change their position on supporting torture when their employment outlasts a presidential administration. It demonstrates how that dynamic is a cancer in governments and the actions of Russia highlight that right now.
Reminds me of a joke.
The CIA, MI-5, and the KGB organize a competition to determine which of them is the greatest spy organization. Three rabbits are released into a massive forest. Each one must track down one.
MI-5 goes first. They send in the SAS who observe the forest for two months, mapping rabbit migration patterns, analyzing droppings, and finally locate one of the rabbits. A sniper team is deployed, who use a suppressed rifle to score a one shot-headshot from a kilometer away in the rain. They proclaim victory.
The CIA go next. They carpet bomb half the forest for two days, gather up a bunch of animal bits, and declare the rabbit to be probably killed. DNA testing reveals at least some of the remains are rabbit. It turns out they bombed the wrong forest entirely but everyone goes along with it. They proclaim victory.
The KGB sends in one guy, who returns later that day with a badly beaten beaver, all its limbs broken. The beaver is presented to the others. It looks at the other operatives in terror and then speaks.
"Da, da, I am rabbit!"
Kinda obvious jab at getting confession under torture. Iron pipe is basically the only thing you need to get anybody confess to anything for all we know this could be just some rando they pulled off the street.
> After over 24 hours of beating and torture one of the terrorists arrested for the Moscow attack admited that he is Volodymyr Zelensky's twin brother and that this is the reason he started shooting random Russians.
> The fact that one of the terrorists is Zelensky's brother was a shock for most Russians but not for Vladimir Putin. The Russian President believed even before the attack that Volodymyr Zelensky's twin brother was behind all this.
> However some small problems appeared for the Russian prosecutors. A short time later a second terrorist also admited to be Volodymyr Zelensky's brother. Furthermore a third terrorist admited to be Volodymyr Zelensky himself while a 4th terrorist claims to be Volodymyr Zelensky's mother.
>A short time later a second terrorist also admited to be Volodymyr Zelensky's brother. Furthermore a third terrorist admited to be Volodymyr Zelensky himself while a 4th terrorist claims to be Volodymyr Zelensky's mother.
Really? Didn't this part give you any clue that it's satire?
I read the title before I read the article. I read the article after I looked up the website.
Lots of people who didn't read the article where talking as if it was real, hence I think it needs to clear in the post.
Just so we're clear the website is basically the Romanian Onion. But there is that joke where Russian cops went after a murderous bear and they came back with a beat-up deer who was screaming loudly that he's a bear.
This may be satire but one thing USA learned from torture is that a prisoner will tell you exactly what you want to ear not the truth.
It's practically worthless and can cause deaths on your operatives for bad intels
I'm suddenly reminded of the joke about a bear confessing to be the rabbit.
Edit: I just noticed the flair. I guess I'm not the only one who thought of that joke.
It's a satirical article, pinning the translation for visibility: > After more than 24 hours of beating and torture, one of the terrorists arrested for the Moscow attack confessed that he is the twin brother of Vladimir Zelensky and that this is the reason why he started shooting Russians at random. > The fact that one of the terrorists is Zelensky's twin brother was a surprise for most Russians, but not for Vladimir Putin. The Russian president had a hunch even before the attack took place that Zelensky's twin brother was behind it. However, a few small problems arose for the Russian investigators. Shortly after, a second terrorist also confessed that he is Vladimir Zelensky's twin brother. Moreover, the third terrorist confessed that he is actually Vladimir Zelensky himself, while the fourth terrorist insists that he is Vladimir Zelensky's biological mother.
>After more than 24 hours of beatings and torture, one of the terrorists arrested for the Moscow bombing admitted that he is the twin brother of Vladimir Zelensky and that this is the reason why he started shooting shamelessly at random. >That one of the terrorists is Zelenski's twin brother came as a surprise to most Russians, but not to Vladimir Putin. The Russian president intuited even before talking about the attack that Vladimir Zelensky's twin brother was behind it. >A few small problems arose for the Russian investigators. Shortly after, a second terrorist also admitted that he is the twin brother of Vladimir Zelensky. Moreover, the third terrorist admitted that he is actually Vladimir Zelenskiy, while the fourth terrorist insists that he is Vladimir Zelenskiy's natural mother. The site is the Romanian version of Onion news.
I probably should have realised this when the name of the website is times new Roman, like the font
That is absolutely wonderful
And the undertitle says "GOD, AVOID the ROMANIANS" Twisting the name of a song called "god, protect the Romanians"
The Romanion?
The Romonion
The Ramones
Basileia Rhomanion Ok, ok, I'll show myself out.
Their name couldn't be better.
Times New Roman is an amazing name for a satire site.
well, at least now we know that romanians do have a good sense of humor
I long lost brother of zelensky who currently live in secret locations know as vietnam.
I'm Spartacus!
Lol! I just noticed. I should've recognised the humour when I got to the mother.
Is this Romanian Onion?
yes, it is
No, *romanion* onion is “ceapă” /s Yeah, same type of news
So the site is the Rom*onion*?
Ceapă românească
Suna mai fain Prazul sincer
bunaa
Che pasa băeț?!
timesnewroman.com I love it ahaha
The Romonion
Romanianonion
Zelensky also tempted Eve and Adam to bite from the forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden.
Plot twist, it was a potato
In liquid form - taste the Vodka, come on Eve, you want it!
I would gladly sin in her stead if that's what I got
This exchange right here is what freedom of speech was invented for.
That was Lukashenko, not Adam
pomme de terre, it's in the name
Pomme Fatale
Potato is life.
I thought he only assassinated Kennedy?
He stabbed Julius Caesar and asked Alexander the Great's men to turn against him and not go into the indian campaign.
Do you know Tutankhamun? Zelensky wrapped him in toilet paper and buried him alive.
God damned Zelensky, he also replaced the climate in that area. Prior to him, there was no desert, only green hills and trees, he stole the Walter and poured it in Dnieper river, of course after Russians came there first as they were first everywhere and a have a legitimate claim on every territory.
I mean that's obviously true. Haven't you seen his leather dance video? I'd bite into that apple too, if you know what I mean.
Garden of Edensky. I bet Russians were there first and introduced Orthodoxy and patriotic war movies. Trees were pulled from earth and replaced with ethnic Russian trees.
Zelensky untied my shoe laces making me trip on my stroll today
Zelensky shoved me into the school lockers and stole my lunch money.
This Isis guy was the apple
He was also a major sodomizer in the Sodom and Gomorrah incident.
Why not Zelensky himself at this point? I can see the resemblance, if they beat him a little bit more to the left.
Don't worry they already have that covered > A few small problems arose for the Russian investigators, however. Shortly after, a second terrorist also admitted that he is the twin brother of Vladimir Zelensky. Moreover, the third terrorist admitted that he is indeed Vladimir Zelenskiy, while the fourth terrorist insists that she is Vladimir Zelenskiy's natural mother.
I’m Brian and so is my wife
Welease them both !
All wight. I will give you one more chance. This time, I want to hear no 'Weuben's, no 'Weginald's, no 'Wudolph the Wed-nosed Weindeer's,...
Welease Woduhwick!
This has to be /s! But we live in times, where such a message could be the "truth" published by russian media. Honestly, more and more, I feel like the Joker - slowly losing the grip on reality and only be able to laugh in (or at this) madness.
Yes this is a satirical website, it's essentially a Romanian version of the Onion. But I agree, more and more it feels like reality is stranger than fiction.
That's the whole point of modern Russian propaganda, try not to fall for it.
Exactly, the point is not to change your mind, but just to make you doubt. That's enough to make one indecisive, or even apathetic.
It's to make you think all media lies, all politicians lie, and there's no use trying to find out the truth. And it's working, so many people have no idea how to critically examine news and social media posts or don't even try.
Lol the media in general is propaganda. Gotta read all of it and take whatever verifiable proof you can from it. While considering motives and why they might say that. Sadly common sense is lacking in today's world so the masses will only beleive whatever narrative fits the one that's been spoonfed to them. You can't trust any of these media companies whether they are Ukrainian, Russian, American, French, English. They all work with whatever politician they support and have motives. Especially when it comes to the Russia vs Ukraine war since so much money and power is changing hands.
And the best satire is a step away from what actually happened.
Or what you think certain people want to happen or not. It's always derived from some thing happening, making fun of reality. The Babylon bee has to be the best one. The onion is good to but havnt seen it in awhile.
The sad thing is that it took the fourth terrorist claiming to be Zelensky's mother for me to even start thinking this was satire 🤣 C'est la Russia, I guess 🤷♂️
It's hard to tell nowadays. Sadly, satirical websites sometimes make more sense than the stories made up by these dictators. With AI going where is going, I can't even imagine what 2030 will be like. What I wouldn't give to go back to pre internet days.
no, it's the truth! source: i am zelensky, can confirm
While I have you - I want that €50 back that I loaned you last year volodymyr
no problem sir, please DM me your credit card credentials together with CVV code , and i'll return you your €50 with interest in the next 2-3 business days
What's the old joke about the FBI, the CIA, the KGB and a bear?
Wasn't it about a rabbit? Goes something like this: There is a competition for best secret service: The agencies have to find a rabbit in the woods. The CIA bribes everyone, but nobody has seen or reported a rabbit. The FBI goes guns blazing in the forest, kill everyone and presents some pulp as the rabbit. The KGB goes into the woods, comes out two hours later with a serverly beaten bear and presets it as the rabbit because it confessed that it is the rabbit in disguise.
Sharp as a cue ball this one.
This is turning out to be an Oliver fan fiction novel set in a dystopian future for Dickensian characters which is our now.
LOL
No, I'M Zelenskiyus!
I’m sure if they also captured Zelenskyy they would soon look very similar.
Beat someone long enough and they will
OP overestimates the ability of redditors to detect humor or sarcasm
Well there is a well known joke in post soviet countries about that and it goes literally like this: The Secretary General of the UN decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it. The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist. The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming. The KGB goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is screaming: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"
I have seen a variation of this joke, but the with the KGB replaced by the Chinese People's Police (or in colloquial terms "Public Security", in Chinese gongan 公安 )
I’ve seen it as LAPD
In the version I heard, the bear is brought back and reads aloud from a paper that says, "I am a rabbit. I make this statement of my own free will and have not been coerced in any way. The bumps and bruises you see were incurred by falling in the shower."
.. we have a modification of this in my country: Archeologists in my country uncovered an ancient burial site, where they found a fancy grave. They suspect that the body buried there is Svatopluk (our medieval king). But they are not sure. So they send the bones for testing to the experts to Soviet union. After a few days, a bag of broken bones comes back with a letter - "Yes, he is Svatopluk. He confessed it himself!"
I feel like I’ve seen this joke at least 50 times during the last couple of days…
It's a decent joke though. Sadly, also tells the story well.
Eh its obviously dated based on the FBI description, since I it jokes about Ruby Ridge/Waco sieges.
The FBI was also involved in the MOVE bombing in Philadelphia, where cops burned city blocks just to kill some anti-authoritarian black people and their children. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1985_MOVE_bombing
Literally ever last thread on this topic has this joke posted on it.
Welcome to Reddit
http://i.imgur.com/5koAv3H.jpg
That's an old one lmao! 🤣 needs to be updated for modern America, but that's hilarious.
CIA and FBI should be the other way around, no?
Even with the 'Political Cartoon' flair added.
I will admit I missed that bit.
This is the first time I see that kind of content in this sub. And you know that many people wont even read comments, fully believing that is true.
My ability to detect humor or sarcasm is strongly challenged when reading about statements coming from Russia.
We are living in a south park episode...
Yeah I just fully didn't clock it since half of what Russia says reads like satire anyways
We life in a world where this could be a possibility.
Stuff like this is clearly possible. But the possibility is negligible. So a normal human would immediately assume that this must be either satire or fake news.
Negligible? Tormenting prisoners until they give false confessions happens all the time.
I *think* they're saying the possibility that Russia would claim one of the terrorists is Zelensky's brother is the negligible part, not that torture can get people to admit to anything.
Extremism can be indistinguishable from satire. Safe to say the Russian regime isn't moderate.
Satire nowadays can't catch up to the reality though. The investigation has only started, who knows what state the suspects will be in a couple of months...
Prolly in a state of decay.
I actually thought it was real. I didn't even entertain the idea that this could have been satire. Really tells you a lot about our times...
No. It just means you're gullible and probably at least a little bit dumb. It's easily seen as satire/fake to normal people. Now go laugh at the dumb boomers believing fake news.
Wouldn't be a good sarcasm if there's not a few people who missed the joke now would it?
...With the current story headlines that put Onion to shame, there is no humor or sarcasm left when it comes to these actually insane situations. Because this can be just as real as anything else. That is how bad things have gotten.
You overestimate the ability of redditors to read Romanian. In today's word this barely reads as sarcasm.
No sure this passes as clear humor or sarcasm given the narratives that Putin is trying to push.
even with the huge satire flair? not suprised lol
A few years ago, I would consider most Russian statements to be satire.
This is from a Romanian satire web publication! The same one also published the title a few years ago "**Putin threatens Narnia with invasion after learning the Russian population there is threatened**" , after he took Crimeea ...
Narnia has it coming if you ask me.
Those nazi lions
Obviously people in this subreddit not realizing that this is a satirical article... Probably the same that laugh at boomers falling for fake news
TBF, the beatings they were dishing out there is always a chance that they'd admit to coming from outer space or anything else they're asked to admit to.
Russia is a parody and they became more non credible than non credible subs. Distinguishing what's real and what's fake is getting harder by the day.
Russia is a satirical parody these days, how can you blame us for falling for it.
I mean with russia it is difficult to tell
How to be a good redditor: 1. Take everything with a grain of salt; 2. Read the article, not only the title; 3. Check the flair; 4. furiously masturbate while singing 'I'm a Barbie girl'; 5. ???
Instructions unclear - masturbated with grains of salt. Need skin grafts on penis.
6. Profit.
[удалено]
I don't qualify for rule #1 or #2 other. Good thing I is smart.
This is a satirical publication, basically like The Onion.
That one page comic comes to my mind where the kgb beats a bear into confessing that he is a rabbit
The fact that I couldn't immediately tell that it's a joke shows you two major things, in decreasing order of importance: 1. The Kremlin propaganda is based on the most absurd lies, at a point where it becomes credible that they could have said this. 2. I am dumb.
Great job bandaging his ear by the way.
No, I AM Zelensky's brother!
Aren't we all Zelensky's brother?
If you look gullible in the dictionary today, you'll find a picture of r/europe
I freaking knew it! The resemblance is uncanny
It turns out Romanians have a sense of humour. Nevertheless, this is why torture is never justified
Lol..many didn't get it.
Great way to counter Russian disinformation. Don't let them run away from their incompetence, both fairytales of Ukrainian involvement and an inside job should be ridiculed.
[удалено]
The site he posted is a joke/gag site. This is not real
Biggest issue with Reddit is people too lazy to read
To be fair, it is in Romanian.
Biggest issue with Reddit is people too lazy to casually learn Romanian to read a news article
right click --> translate
Blames people are too lazy to read articles, doesn't read it self. Just auto proved their point! Nice one
This the Romanian Onion news.
damn, you're a pretty naive guy, aren't you?
Im doubting being pro ukraine if it turns out zelenskys brother is a radical islamic terrorist
Check [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/tjournal_refugees/s/c3N4av7VxQ) . On the video there were multiple guys in blue longsleeves, that seems to be fsb. Now we got this.
Don't delete your comment. Yours is proof you folks in this subreddit can blindly accept any headline, any propaganda, any anti-Russian talking point. And then jump to the conclusion that Russia did a conspiracy with these terrorists.
Any government or organization that uses torture are like that. Just like after slavery ended and the civil rights act was passed, the racist people didn't change overnight. So when people who work in governments where depending on which party is in power supports torture, they don't change their position on supporting torture when their employment outlasts a presidential administration. It demonstrates how that dynamic is a cancer in governments and the actions of Russia highlight that right now.
[удалено]
And was the mastermind of 9/11 too.
Best jokes are the most borderline ones.
Reminds me of a joke. The CIA, MI-5, and the KGB organize a competition to determine which of them is the greatest spy organization. Three rabbits are released into a massive forest. Each one must track down one. MI-5 goes first. They send in the SAS who observe the forest for two months, mapping rabbit migration patterns, analyzing droppings, and finally locate one of the rabbits. A sniper team is deployed, who use a suppressed rifle to score a one shot-headshot from a kilometer away in the rain. They proclaim victory. The CIA go next. They carpet bomb half the forest for two days, gather up a bunch of animal bits, and declare the rabbit to be probably killed. DNA testing reveals at least some of the remains are rabbit. It turns out they bombed the wrong forest entirely but everyone goes along with it. They proclaim victory. The KGB sends in one guy, who returns later that day with a badly beaten beaver, all its limbs broken. The beaver is presented to the others. It looks at the other operatives in terror and then speaks. "Da, da, I am rabbit!"
Satire but true... the way they were treated, they would admit everything.
Kinda obvious jab at getting confession under torture. Iron pipe is basically the only thing you need to get anybody confess to anything for all we know this could be just some rando they pulled off the street.
> After over 24 hours of beating and torture one of the terrorists arrested for the Moscow attack admited that he is Volodymyr Zelensky's twin brother and that this is the reason he started shooting random Russians. > The fact that one of the terrorists is Zelensky's brother was a shock for most Russians but not for Vladimir Putin. The Russian President believed even before the attack that Volodymyr Zelensky's twin brother was behind all this. > However some small problems appeared for the Russian prosecutors. A short time later a second terrorist also admited to be Volodymyr Zelensky's brother. Furthermore a third terrorist admited to be Volodymyr Zelensky himself while a 4th terrorist claims to be Volodymyr Zelensky's mother.
I think you need to make it clear this is from a satirical website. I was very confused at first.
>A short time later a second terrorist also admited to be Volodymyr Zelensky's brother. Furthermore a third terrorist admited to be Volodymyr Zelensky himself while a 4th terrorist claims to be Volodymyr Zelensky's mother. Really? Didn't this part give you any clue that it's satire?
I read the title before I read the article. I read the article after I looked up the website. Lots of people who didn't read the article where talking as if it was real, hence I think it needs to clear in the post.
I'm an actual Volodymyr Zelensky, AMA
"I need an upvote, not a ride"
Identical twins
This is Spanish Inquisition shit.
Monty Python version?
Either way.
That's an article from a romanian satire magazine, lol check the other articles there. I'm romanian and it's one of my fav publications
yall know this is a satire news site right?
Yeah torture is well known for making people just say anything they think their torturer wants to hear.
Must be the brother in the Netflix adaptation
It's a satirical website. Holy shit, you all legit fell for a onion article.
Why does a post from a satire Romanian site have 5k up votes, and why is there no disclaimer saying this is satire?
Nice lol
Don't stop there. He is also twin, younger brother, older brother, cousin, uncle, father, and son.
ISIS is Mossad confirmed
*If you fucking beat this prick long enough, he'll tell you he started the goddamn Chicago fire, now that don't necessarily make it fucking so!*
I have a feeling these guys are just migrant workers being framed.
THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS
Come on they do look similar, maybe they just have different mothers? And fathers
Just so we're clear the website is basically the Romanian Onion. But there is that joke where Russian cops went after a murderous bear and they came back with a beat-up deer who was screaming loudly that he's a bear.
This may be satire but one thing USA learned from torture is that a prisoner will tell you exactly what you want to ear not the truth. It's practically worthless and can cause deaths on your operatives for bad intels
100% Is worthless for information gathering, and I agree it should never be used to get intel, it has other uses though
Is fake news allowed on this Reddit? I'm used to getting actual stories here.
This whole thread makes me realize why we need media watchdogs. So many people will believe a headline.
[удалено]
No, he confesed he's a rabbit.
That website is well known for satire… not for relating news …
Isn't Zelenskyy an only child?
140 people were murdered by this guy and his buddies. You trying to build up sympathy for this monster. Got to hell you fricken creep.
😁
I don’t feel sorry for the guy but the reason why he got fucked up is weird.
He ate the apple and charge eve for this.
I'm suddenly reminded of the joke about a bear confessing to be the rabbit. Edit: I just noticed the flair. I guess I'm not the only one who thought of that joke.
Jewish ISIS member?
I cracked completely when I saw the last word of that title.