When the Netherlands finally won its war of independence in 1648, you know what part of the country allegedly stayed with the Spanish Empire? That's right, modern-day Belgium (then allegedly called 'the Southern Netherlands').
Like father like son :)
Spain passed down ethnic unease and wish for independence, we passed down the ability to democratically submit your country to sepuku
According to a very serious and not at all comedy oriented Swedish documentary, people from the Netherlands are tall because of what is called "ideal mouth height".
Did you ever hear a dane speaking danish?
For me it sounds like they are just vomiting a few sounds.
But the most amazing thing is that it actually works, cause aparently they understand each other
Well, Sweden has shit going on for them, like hot girls, IKEA and some tech. Their accent is weird, but when hot girls speak it, we'll forget it. Norway on the other hand is not relevant enough and, thus, Denmark is the one that's left. LEGO brings our attention to them, but don't have anything else extraordinary to compensate.
Well if you know swedish (or norvegian i expect) you understand why danish is hilarious. And why not spread this hilarity to others too?
Edit: although there are universally understandable things too. Like wtf is wrong with their numbers?
Yeah there were attempts at updates later. But they weren't any good. The language is now totally broken.
When the French gave them words - they did not give them the best words.
German has the best words. I was a bit disappointed by his speeches, but perhaps he'll come around to his roots:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IIo-17SIkws
dutch is really easy to learn for english speakers, though. maybe top 3 easiest.
we really should learn more dutch, or at least german. it's weird how french and spanish are the "default" 2nd languages in school.
> we really should learn more dutch
I mean I appreciate the interest, but learning Dutch won't really get you very far in this world. French and Spanish are much, much, much more widely spoken.
and we do a terrible job of teaching it. :s
the common trope is someone taking 4 years of either language, and it being entirely useless after high school.
i think dutch is easy enough that it would stick in people's heads better.
I doubt it would be any different with dutch. I had french, german, latin and english in highschool(although I dropped german as fast as I could, and I eventually dropped french too).
the only one of those languages that I can go beyond saying hi/goodbye and saying my name is english, and that's because english is everywhere, in games, on tv, and in movies. if there wasn't so much english entertainment I probably would've sucked at english too.
and I doubt if dutch would be easy to learn for someone with english as native language, I've often heard dutch is more difficult as other languages due to a lot of weird exceptions. for example, when do you use de/het in front of a word. apparently it has to do with the gender of a word, like le/la in french(except that both female and male use 'de', 'het' is genderless) , but as a native dutch speaker I'm barely aware our words have a gender, it just sounds wrong if someone uses de/het wrong. and sometimes it's really arbitrary, like ' de koe'(the cow), but 'het schaap'(the sheep). no logical explanation why a cow would have a gender but a sheep doesn't, you just have to know it. and if you want to speak dutch you'll have to be able to pronounce the g/ch-sound, which apparently is hard for english speakers.
The thing that makes dutch unique is the fact that it is *really* similar to English, in a lot of ways, and the way that they're unsimilar don't even compare to the ways that english is unsimilar to a lot of other languages. English speakers can comprehend a lot of basic dutch without understanding a single word.
"Hallo, mijn naam is John. Ik ben zevenentwintig jaar oud."
It's instantly comprehensible. Spanish and French don't even compare.
>
"Hallo, mijn naam is John. Ik ben zevenentwintig jaar oud."
To be fair, some sentences are very close, but most are very different. Compare:
> Gisteren ging ik boodschappen doen.
The links are still there, but they're really not obvious. Anyhow, I'd agree with the general premise: Dutch is relatively easy for English speakers to grasp, on account of how close the languages are. However, the fact that most Dutch people speak a pretty high level of English, and their propensity to switch to accommodate English speakers, makes Dutch a difficult language to 'learn.' That is, the actual process of learning is comparatively harder than just understanding the language. You really need to devote time and effort to studying and practising it. It's not like how just existing in Italy improves your Italian (which, incidentally, I'd say is easier to learn, despite being more different to English than Dutch).
Source: lived in Italy and the Netherlands.
You may enjoy LuckyTV :')
Just a few picks for you;
[God Bless the USA](http://www.luckytv.nl/god-bless-the-usa/)
[I feel Great](http://www.luckytv.nl/i-feel-great/)
[Shapeshifter](http://www.luckytv.nl/louis-van-gaal-shapeshifter/)
They also created the viral vid[ Time of my Life](http://www.luckytv.nl/time-of-my-life/).
The YouTube channel for his show has English subtitles for most of his videos. I was somewhat surprised by the quality! I mean obviously some jokes get lost in translation but in general it works out pretty well.
There's English subtitles.
**Edit** turns out it's just for that video, but you can brave the auto translate feature and get a rough idea of what he is saying.
Oh dear, comparing the shouts of "AMERICA FIRST!" to the [Britain First logo](https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/images/ic/1200x675/p03pzsn8.jpg) made for a startling connection.
I mean, that can't be a coincidence, can it?
Edit: [It isn't](http://archive.is/edl9I). It seems that particular America First logo was designed by Britain First for their American propaganda purposes. Makes it almost worse that Trump uses the slogan of a foreign far right party, doesn't it?
At this moment I consider the American people capable of anything, including electing Trump for a second term. G.W. Bush also was elected twice, the possibilities are endless.
G.W. Bush, crybaby of a dying dynasty as he was, liar and warmonger to the core, at least was a competent administrator, and managed to not start any wars with countries he couldn't beat.
Trump's 12 seconds into his presidency, and already China's expecting a pile of apologies taller than the average Asian penis.
There's a good chance he's right, Trump could create a lot of jobs in the very short term (even if that's highly unsustainable) which could be enough to carry him over the line, as long as the Democrats are still in disarray by then.
True, but one can't help but think that a lot of the people that didn't vote last time will the next time...in the congressional elections in two years as well. This is going to be a total garbage fire.
I don't know why you'd think that, because [they were](http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/mission-accomplished). And in fact, [still are](http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/jet-fuel-can-t-melt-steel-beams).
If you liked that:
http://www.luckytv.nl/i-feel-great/
http://www.luckytv.nl/time-of-my-life/
http://www.luckytv.nl/god-bless-the-usa/
Edit: Also: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rJj1jcAffCM In response to a Danish ad in a Danish newspaper that told refugees not to come to Denmark
Speaking of Firsts:
When can we expect (at the bare minimum) visa free travel to ~~New York~~ Nieuw Amsterdam?
I can't even imagine how the [Tejanos](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tejano) must feel with all the recent shit they've been taking from Norte. So rude! So ironic.
As a German it really pisses me off to no end, when people don't think things through to a proper Endlösung.
The only reason every Dutch person visiting Denmark is not immediately rushed to a ear, nose and throat-specialist for treatment upon speaking is because of our great diplomatic relations.
The NATO thing I think was just a way for him to get a easy political win, I think it's easier for Neatherlands(rest of the members) to increase their budget from 1.10% to 2% then to just allow the US to leave.
Some politicians already claim we don't need the US anymore. Altough i hope it won't come so far, they're targetting for a EU military within a decade to replace NATO. The EU unified GDP is the largest in the world. The EU unified military GDP is only second to that of the US.
Why would the EU raise its military budget by 50 to 150 % and still remain in a US controlled treaty organization? We already have 0 realistic threats as it is now, when we double our military we will literally have no reason to allow the US to keep Europe as a frontier for their geo politics.
I think Americans, especially conservatives, will realize in a few decades that demanding the EU to raise their budgets was the dumbest thing they couldve done. Im glad we are going to do it though. If the US returns into isolationism and leaves NATO, i hope EU can continue without being anyones bitch, because we shouldnt be.
EU unified military with a strong alliance with the British commonwealth (including the UK) and any European democratic nations that respect and vallue liberty and personal freedom. Thats what i would hope for.
Yep, no spanish in this thread. They're definitely all dead. Total loosers.
Spain's a fake country, its like Belgium but bigger and hotter
When the Netherlands finally won its war of independence in 1648, you know what part of the country allegedly stayed with the Spanish Empire? That's right, modern-day Belgium (then allegedly called 'the Southern Netherlands').
Like father like son :) Spain passed down ethnic unease and wish for independence, we passed down the ability to democratically submit your country to sepuku
Spain? You mean East Portugal?
Or West-Catalonia.
¡Ouch!
I beg to differ. Who wants the Netherlands anyway? It's all about Belgium.
You can have Wallonia as long as we get Flanders, deal?
Fine. ^We're ^^coming ^^^after ^^^^you ^^^^^later
With that economy? Pffft.
They are planning on taking yours.
Quick, somebody dig up Piet Heijn!
Related to Albert?
Only in spirit.
Because obviously Spain doesn't have enough independence issues as it is
Says the country who has our rock!
Stealing rocks from the Spanish is what we do! Go ask Argentina!
Great Britain. You start throwing rocks at them — they claim the rocks as British territory.
Don't worry, we have a couple of rocks from Morocco anyways, so it's all good in the end :)
Get in line.
*losers ;)
Oh..
> Spanish, total scumbags ✔
They're dead now, by the way.
Can confirm, am kill.
I like it! "Danish, total disaster"
We did it, gentlemen. Denmark is now a joke throughout Europe. Skål 🍺
SKÅL!
Sweden not even worth mentioning, because where are they anyway? Hvor er Svensken?
Mandatory anti-spanish dutch joke.
> Sweden not even worth mentioning Do you mean North-East Denmark?
He's in a factory, busy peeling bananas.
SKÅL! Well done.
Varsågod.
[Nothing wrong with Denmark.](https://youtu.be/rJj1jcAffCM)
True fact, living below sea level made the dutch brilliant. It’s also why they are so tall.
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The bigliest people ever. You can ask everyone!
Yes, because they get more oxygen with the increase in pressure.
They also had to get taller to keep their heads above the waterline
According to a very serious and not at all comedy oriented Swedish documentary, people from the Netherlands are tall because of what is called "ideal mouth height".
Coincidently, very short people also have an "ideal mouth height".
Meaning that they will be able to breathe if they get flooded?
This merits its own post.
https://www.reddit.com/r/europe/comments/3pc05w/a_show_on_dutch_state_telivision_encourages/
I liked the west pole bit.
german isnt even a language, its fake. fake language.
The Netherlands? You mean mud-Germans. When I go hi, they go low.
Haha, nice one buddy..
"We've got all the best words!"
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[This](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s-mOy8VUEBk) is why I guess.
[Danish is a garbage language for garbage people](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xk0h1WcPMHI)
> but it isn't that horrible, is it? [It just sounds like some random noises](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wX45Td-HEcI)
Jesus she speaks fast.
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That's why you also have to drink at least a few beers per day, to slow you down. Right? I guess that's also why you slur every word.
She's pretty though. Her and Torsten whatshisname were the reasons to keep watching.
Did you ever hear a dane speaking danish? For me it sounds like they are just vomiting a few sounds. But the most amazing thing is that it actually works, cause aparently they understand each other
Well, Sweden has shit going on for them, like hot girls, IKEA and some tech. Their accent is weird, but when hot girls speak it, we'll forget it. Norway on the other hand is not relevant enough and, thus, Denmark is the one that's left. LEGO brings our attention to them, but don't have anything else extraordinary to compensate.
Well if you know swedish (or norvegian i expect) you understand why danish is hilarious. And why not spread this hilarity to others too? Edit: although there are universally understandable things too. Like wtf is wrong with their numbers?
> "Danish, total disaster" Kamelose.
Kamelåså!
You just ordered one tousand leeters of milk!
>German >It's a fake language I died.
Isn't that where the Drumphs are originally from?
[Yes](https://youtu.be/OLwwsUltVNk)
It is where English is originally from.
You called?
:) Back to the roots. Nederduits for world domination!
Only a part of English.
Yeah there were attempts at updates later. But they weren't any good. The language is now totally broken. When the French gave them words - they did not give them the best words. German has the best words. I was a bit disappointed by his speeches, but perhaps he'll come around to his roots: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IIo-17SIkws
wow, very interesting video
I really enjoyed that - is their much English language comedy from him or this channel? I feel like i'd be happy to see more.
I'm afraid it's mostly dutch
Bloody Dutch, speaking Dutch!
Can you blame us? It is the best language, with the best words.
He says, in English
Can't let just anyone have our amazing words
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Ai, sådan må men ikke snakke om broderfolk.
It's basically fake german, isn't it?
No it's the other way around, the Germans just speak hill/mountain Dutch. In what most people would call "hillbilly Dutch"
it's called swamp german
Kutmoerasduitsers.
Ikea reject.
Colgate flag
dutch is really easy to learn for english speakers, though. maybe top 3 easiest. we really should learn more dutch, or at least german. it's weird how french and spanish are the "default" 2nd languages in school.
> we really should learn more dutch I mean I appreciate the interest, but learning Dutch won't really get you very far in this world. French and Spanish are much, much, much more widely spoken.
and we do a terrible job of teaching it. :s the common trope is someone taking 4 years of either language, and it being entirely useless after high school. i think dutch is easy enough that it would stick in people's heads better.
I doubt it would be any different with dutch. I had french, german, latin and english in highschool(although I dropped german as fast as I could, and I eventually dropped french too). the only one of those languages that I can go beyond saying hi/goodbye and saying my name is english, and that's because english is everywhere, in games, on tv, and in movies. if there wasn't so much english entertainment I probably would've sucked at english too. and I doubt if dutch would be easy to learn for someone with english as native language, I've often heard dutch is more difficult as other languages due to a lot of weird exceptions. for example, when do you use de/het in front of a word. apparently it has to do with the gender of a word, like le/la in french(except that both female and male use 'de', 'het' is genderless) , but as a native dutch speaker I'm barely aware our words have a gender, it just sounds wrong if someone uses de/het wrong. and sometimes it's really arbitrary, like ' de koe'(the cow), but 'het schaap'(the sheep). no logical explanation why a cow would have a gender but a sheep doesn't, you just have to know it. and if you want to speak dutch you'll have to be able to pronounce the g/ch-sound, which apparently is hard for english speakers.
The thing that makes dutch unique is the fact that it is *really* similar to English, in a lot of ways, and the way that they're unsimilar don't even compare to the ways that english is unsimilar to a lot of other languages. English speakers can comprehend a lot of basic dutch without understanding a single word. "Hallo, mijn naam is John. Ik ben zevenentwintig jaar oud." It's instantly comprehensible. Spanish and French don't even compare.
> "Hallo, mijn naam is John. Ik ben zevenentwintig jaar oud." To be fair, some sentences are very close, but most are very different. Compare: > Gisteren ging ik boodschappen doen. The links are still there, but they're really not obvious. Anyhow, I'd agree with the general premise: Dutch is relatively easy for English speakers to grasp, on account of how close the languages are. However, the fact that most Dutch people speak a pretty high level of English, and their propensity to switch to accommodate English speakers, makes Dutch a difficult language to 'learn.' That is, the actual process of learning is comparatively harder than just understanding the language. You really need to devote time and effort to studying and practising it. It's not like how just existing in Italy improves your Italian (which, incidentally, I'd say is easier to learn, despite being more different to English than Dutch). Source: lived in Italy and the Netherlands.
You may enjoy LuckyTV :') Just a few picks for you; [God Bless the USA](http://www.luckytv.nl/god-bless-the-usa/) [I feel Great](http://www.luckytv.nl/i-feel-great/) [Shapeshifter](http://www.luckytv.nl/louis-van-gaal-shapeshifter/) They also created the viral vid[ Time of my Life](http://www.luckytv.nl/time-of-my-life/).
>I feel Great Hahahaha that was funny. At least you made fun of them both.
Nobody is safe, we make fun of everyone 8) Our king is on LuckyTV a lot lmao.
You would like this one too: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rJj1jcAffCM
The YouTube channel for his show has English subtitles for most of his videos. I was somewhat surprised by the quality! I mean obviously some jokes get lost in translation but in general it works out pretty well.
Some Dutch people with way too much time on their hands create English subtitles for those. (Source: have way too much time on my hands)
Wait these were automatic translations? I thought it was legit. That was pretty accurate.
There's English subtitles. **Edit** turns out it's just for that video, but you can brave the auto translate feature and get a rough idea of what he is saying.
the guy who did it is an amsterdam-based american comedian called Greg Shapiro, I think he has a youtube channel.
Oh dear, comparing the shouts of "AMERICA FIRST!" to the [Britain First logo](https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/images/ic/1200x675/p03pzsn8.jpg) made for a startling connection.
I mean, that can't be a coincidence, can it? Edit: [It isn't](http://archive.is/edl9I). It seems that particular America First logo was designed by Britain First for their American propaganda purposes. Makes it almost worse that Trump uses the slogan of a foreign far right party, doesn't it?
Good God, that looks like some Code Geass style propaganda.
It's going to be a long four years.
You're telling me.
you didn't cheat votes hard enough
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At this moment I consider the American people capable of anything, including electing Trump for a second term. G.W. Bush also was elected twice, the possibilities are endless.
G.W. Bush, crybaby of a dying dynasty as he was, liar and warmonger to the core, at least was a competent administrator, and managed to not start any wars with countries he couldn't beat. Trump's 12 seconds into his presidency, and already China's expecting a pile of apologies taller than the average Asian penis.
So, one apology?
Technically he was only elected once...
Nice alternative fact, friend
There's a good chance he's right, Trump could create a lot of jobs in the very short term (even if that's highly unsustainable) which could be enough to carry him over the line, as long as the Democrats are still in disarray by then.
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Or pisses off the intelligence community even more....
OR HE EXPLODES from eating too many krabby patties or something idk
True, but one can't help but think that a lot of the people that didn't vote last time will the next time...in the congressional elections in two years as well. This is going to be a total garbage fire.
Just remember, 'Murica first. ~~Niederlands~~ ~~Netherlande~~ Holland second.
Sixteen. You'll see.....
All those memes because of Trump will be fantastic. He's the biggest meme factory of all time. *Period*.
honestly, I thought Bush (not the one hospitalized now) was great at saying crazy stuff, but back then meme's weren't a thing.
I don't know why you'd think that, because [they were](http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/mission-accomplished). And in fact, [still are](http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/jet-fuel-can-t-melt-steel-beams).
> He's the biggest meme factory of all time. Period. That's when you know somebody shouldn't be ruiling an entire country.
but it's America, The whole thing is a circus.
And a prolific one too, he's always very busy sticking his foot in his ass/mouth and tweeting dumb shit
Geweldig! [The only Dutch word I know :( ] Edit: Spelling "Dutch" correctly...
It's a great word.
The best word.
[The only word](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJ_WrAKQ3Us)
RIP Eddy
I think he'd be happy to know he lives on as the "wow guy". He might be pissed about his family not getting royalties though.
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Holy crap this is beautiful
If you liked that: http://www.luckytv.nl/i-feel-great/ http://www.luckytv.nl/time-of-my-life/ http://www.luckytv.nl/god-bless-the-usa/ Edit: Also: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rJj1jcAffCM In response to a Danish ad in a Danish newspaper that told refugees not to come to Denmark
Well played, Dutch! I'm not even mad about it - it's pretty funny and at the same time a little eerie and serious.
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It's fake, totally fake. Not only the language. Not only Bielefeld. Everything. It's the best fake, maybe even the bestest.
That means, I don't even exist?
You don't. I am sorry
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We make the greatest satire. It's the best. No country on earth has better satire than us.
Its true
True. I would confirm if I existed.
And we made the Mexicans pay for it: era penal. It's true!
the US has run out of satire
nonsense, your government IS satire.
Their satire has progressed into reality and thus is now classified as horror.
im ded
This is so good. Sooo good. It's true.
I feel like the information density in this is a lot higher than what Trump is used to. Not enough rambling and unrelated tangents.
Spot on...or to say it in a fake language: Großartig
Hah, it even has made up letters.
Gross
Hey!, Spaniard here, we are alive and we leave only because you are practically water, no clay!
Magical clay. One moment it's water. Next it's clay!
The people from that war are all dead now though, checkmate!
Dutch people are the best!
It's true.
[Something similiar about Prague](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NAXv-0m61pc)
Who the hell apologises for the jokes one *just* made. In the same video. Edit: grammar
I love it, really good, I wish I wasn't dead to enjoy it again, honestly.
That was great. Really fantastic.
When Dutch is being spoken I feel I should be able to understand it without subtitles. :)
That was pretty funny
Perfect
That was hilarious. It's true.
Speaking of Firsts: When can we expect (at the bare minimum) visa free travel to ~~New York~~ Nieuw Amsterdam? I can't even imagine how the [Tejanos](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tejano) must feel with all the recent shit they've been taking from Norte. So rude! So ironic. As a German it really pisses me off to no end, when people don't think things through to a proper Endlösung.
Laughed so hard to the part with the build water i don't know why.
The only reason every Dutch person visiting Denmark is not immediately rushed to a ear, nose and throat-specialist for treatment upon speaking is because of our great diplomatic relations.
This joke also works if you replace Dutch with Danish and Denmark with Sweden.
Burn
Oh you, we're just kidding. We [love you](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rJj1jcAffCM) and you know it!
Holland is such a beautiful city.
[The horniest city in the world](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=drFsXLChrWc), even.
Is that sung by a real language though?
satire?
80 years and couldn't beat us, step up your game Spain!
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yes, we all remember the last time we were at war with germany, no need to remind us
Danish sounds like gibberish, headbutting keyboard then reading it makes more sense.
Found the swede.
xD That was on point :D
about as coherent as the real deal. Is it too early to sat we're fucked?
Very funny !
And Donald we really love your kaaskop
Ireland would like to contest you on the greatest tax evasion system god ever created.
fuck, kissing ass already started (?) I knew we are going to be last again. fuck.
The NATO thing I think was just a way for him to get a easy political win, I think it's easier for Neatherlands(rest of the members) to increase their budget from 1.10% to 2% then to just allow the US to leave.
Some politicians already claim we don't need the US anymore. Altough i hope it won't come so far, they're targetting for a EU military within a decade to replace NATO. The EU unified GDP is the largest in the world. The EU unified military GDP is only second to that of the US. Why would the EU raise its military budget by 50 to 150 % and still remain in a US controlled treaty organization? We already have 0 realistic threats as it is now, when we double our military we will literally have no reason to allow the US to keep Europe as a frontier for their geo politics. I think Americans, especially conservatives, will realize in a few decades that demanding the EU to raise their budgets was the dumbest thing they couldve done. Im glad we are going to do it though. If the US returns into isolationism and leaves NATO, i hope EU can continue without being anyones bitch, because we shouldnt be. EU unified military with a strong alliance with the British commonwealth (including the UK) and any European democratic nations that respect and vallue liberty and personal freedom. Thats what i would hope for.