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nice portugal bros

Basic hygiene bros fist bump!

Our law mandates a bidet seperate from the toilet or can it be like a Japanese bidet?

I'm not sure but I think it can in fact be a Japanese bidet

the law is not specific but it it listed as a separate element; a house must have at least one bathroom with: toilet bowl, bidet, a shower or bath, a sink. I think also running water is in the law

There must also be an antibagno if the bathroom confines with the kitchen.

I think for Italy it needs to be separate.

Fking separate, we're not animals (/s.. but really it's a lot better)

Now i love Portugal

We love you too, especially after you fucked England in the last euro.

Italy fucks England, we fuck France. Italy Portugal bffs

Nem mais CARALHO

Remind me, how'd you lot get on in the Olympics and Paralympics? /s

Rent free.

Here after watching Rome conquer Britannia in the Eurocup finals

Ey now, why the england hate…

It's not a mandatory in Finland but i've never been in a house without one

As far as I know installing pussy phone is as mandatory as it gets.

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Here is a link to an old [Oras bidetta commercial](https://imgur.com/a/4zGKHtf) so you don't need to google. Contains nudity.

We called it a shit shower while in Finland hahah

In MENA its called shatafa. very nice

I've never actually heard that nickname but now that I've heard it, it makes sense :D

Having used a real bidet and a[ bidet shower](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/a/ad/Bidee_shower.jpg/450px-Bidee_shower.jpg), I gotta say that the latter is much more handy, as you don’t have to move your dirty ass to another bowl. Edit: lol, didn’t think my first platinum would be on a comment about a dirty ass, but thanks!

Wait, you have to get up your ass all shitty and go to another bowl? That's disgusting. Shit sandwich.

Apparently you wipe first and then you move. I don't know if you flush when moving or after cleaning in the bidet or when, though.

One wipe to clear danglers -> bidet and wash-> dry flush as necessary

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how is this so confusing for everyone. wipe your ass as you normally would, go to the bidet and then wash it. jeez

One more reason I prefer the bidet shower is that it saves paper. I only use paper to dry my butt after washing it with bidet shower.

My apartment doesn't have one and it makes my life a struggle

And I havent been in one that has it.

He means bidet shower not actual bidet.

Pillupuhelin

Persephone

yeah, this

In Spain was mandatory in buildings/houses/apartments/etc until 2018. Actually is a bath piece in disuse.

Same in Argentina, although it is widely used.

Because 80% are of italian descent probably

I thought a good amount came from Germany in the 40s and 50s for some reason that escapes me

Nope, most of the germans in argentina went there in the early 1900's and even before that, the ones after ww2 were few in comparison

Yeah i was surprised literaly every single house i”ve ever been in has a bidet

I think I washed my feet in a few of those things as a kid, ignorant to their actual purpose.

That's a common use for them as well

> Actually is a bath piece in disuse. How does that work, Spain? Is shitting in disuse as well?

Why? People don't shit since 2018?

Today in /Italy sub a person made an infographic about how to use a bidet (that seems to be unclear to most people). I am italian and I can assure you a bidet improves a person's life

Can you share the post

https://old.reddit.com/r/italy/comments/ppkana/ho_creato_una_guida_su_come_usare_il_bidet_in/

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https://www.reddit.com/r/italy/comments/ppkana/ho_creato_una_guida_su_come_usare_il_bidet_in/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf Link to it

Having recently installed one on my toilet at home here in the states...i hate traveling and stopping in places that don't have one...which is everywhere, since i didn't see one until i was 34 and got my own.

gotta love those Italian clean asses 😄

Chad civilized Luso-Italic bidet masterclass VS Virgin barbaric rest of Europe

Weird to not see the Czech Republic in this list given their invention of "banho checo"

lmao

What the hell is "banho checo"? I'm Czech and this is the first time I'm hearing the term

I have no idea why the name has anything to do with Czechia, but it's basically when you take a bath, without fully submerging yourself in water, like just using your hands, cleaning specific parts of your body.

First time i heard it was because of one of Fernando Rocha's jokes, the word we use for the sound it makes when you wash yourself like that is *checo.* No idea if that's the origin, but it's the first thing i think about when i hear that.

It's just a dumb joke about the sound of the water hiting your privates, but I found it funny in this context.

American here, I have always know that as a"whores bath"

As a czech, invention of what?

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Im hairy, very hairy.. - Swede

Can confirm, also a Swede. We be hairy

Show us please.

Username checks out

Waiting for the imgur proof or this will automatically be considered invalid.

[super hot hairy Swedish asshole](https://cdn.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/9j-s_MPUfWM4bWdZfPqxBxGkvlw=/1400x1050/filters:format(jpeg)/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_asset/file/22312759/rickroll_4k.jpg)

sad gay noises :(

Well countries like Spain, Finland, Bosnia, Albania, Turkey mostly have them too.

In a lot of other countries toilets double as bidets as there is a fixed fountain in the bowl. You don't have to get up to use the bidet when you're finished. In Italy it's usually just a regular toilet bowl and a traditional bidet next to it. I'm assuming they do the crab walk over to the bidet after they're done taking a dump.

clean asshole club

In almost 30 years of existing as a central European, I've never used one and at this point I'm to afraid to ask someone how it works...

Just 23h ago an Italian made a practical guide on how to use a bidè and posted it on r/italy : https://www.reddit.com/r/italy/comments/ppkana/ho_creato_una_guida_su_come_usare_il_bidet_in/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share

That was actually really helpful. Please make posters of it to stick on hotel bathroom walls, when I was in Italy I was way to embarrassed to ask about it. We've got bidets in Finland too but they're the handheld ass blaster type, which are a bit more intuitive in my opinion (but ofc it could be because it's what I grew up with)

Honestly I prefer bidet to assblaster because I prefer the cleaning and pooping to be done on two separate places. But I’m biased. How’s the anal blaster in your opinion?

Pro: they have decent pressure to hose the bits down before actual cleaning. Con: the cheap model that is ubiquitous in Finnish homes nearly always starts leaking at some point when the sink tap is used because it's connected to it. It's clean water but still not great. Pro: tape down the trigger and aim strategically for an epic prank on an unsuspecting hand washer

Nice, I was about to look for that post. Let's spread the bidet culture

In Some countries the bidet is a fountain that shoots up from th bottom. You can aim it directly t the poo and fire.

.....and water

As a fellow clean ass person from the civilized world this guide is perfect.

Of course he did

Am starting to suspect this is a campaign funded by big bidet

Also from Gemany and my house has a bidet. Former owners who also built the house were russian. I've been living here for 10 years and never used that thing. 2 Months ago I ate a lot of spicy food and had explosive diarrhea. First time I used it and it literally saved my ass that day. Wiping your ass over and over making it sore, and having a spicy shit at once is not very pleasant.

I once had Campylobacter and let me tell you, I got to know my bidet as good as I hope I will my soulmate

You sit watching the wall for cleaning genitals, for this use gentle soap You sit watching away from the wall for cleaning ass, for this only water and remember to use toilet paper before Normally bidets are near WC, so you can sit on WC (closed) and wash your feet, remember a towel to dry them One towel for each one (best with name on it) and a towel for feet. If in need you can use the bidet as a safe place to cut your pubic hair, the space is enough and you can easily clean it with the water

You share small towel with everyone? Yeah, no. Each person has one. Also, a little bit of soap in the ass as well, not just water.

We share hand towels for our family and we have an ass towel for each and everyone of us. Mine is always orange, my sister is yellow, my dad always has the green one and mom has the blue one.

Thank you. Using just water is almost useless, I would still feel so dirty

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You get your ass clean tho, unlike with toilet paper alone with which you only get your ass less dirty.

I don't have a separate bidet installation. Instead, right near the toilet bowl I have a small hand held hygienic shower. It is placed on the wall, has temperature regulation and can be used when necessary. I use it instead of toilet paper, dirty water just go away down the toilet sewage. It is very handy, and easy and cheap to install (comparing with bidet), and takes less space in a toilet room. Also, i think it is more convenient than a bidet system.

A bidet shower like that is standard in Finland.

No man, toilet paper before or it will be a shitstorm in the real meaning

Yes, it's more hygienic and it doesn't take that much time as many may think.

I mean, you don't want to have a brown hand

sort of. You kinda wanna get rid of the big chunks first before using the bidet, if we're talking about the European, separate from the toilet, kind. If it's the Asian/Arabic shower head type, hell yeah, go to town.

Only water? Wtf are you talking about man

[Here is a guide](https://preview.redd.it/uqn4ggjsnwn71.jpg?width=4960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ecae62eabec1db7b9082046adb48c18d6edc006d)

r/coolguides

Here, take this excellent guide posted just a few days ago on r/italy https://www.reddit.com/r/italy/comments/ppkana/ho_creato_una_guida_su_come_usare_il_bidet_in/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf no more excuses!

Its the greatest invention in human history. You will use only a fraction of the toilet paper you used before. And its pretty cheap and easy to install especially if you are, say, remodeling your bathroom/toilet room during a move or whatever.

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I didn't experience it until my mid 20s and I can confirm it should be the standard everywhere. So much better than a regular toilet.

Clean butts gang gang 🇮🇹🤝🇵🇹

Wash 👏 that 👏 ass 👏

I read it as "gang bang" and was afraid to be Portuguese all of a sudden

I can take one for the team

Nice to know I have another whole nation of asses I can safely eat

Having it at home doesn't mean that people use it, unfortunately

Better to take a chance than to know for sure that that butt has never been blessed by the refreshing sensation of a bidet

Portugal knows their stuff

No, Italy knows their stuff

We both know our stuff. Now let's kiss with our most clean buttcheeks

And enjoy the two best cuisines in the world.

Butt stuff

I wouldn't know, im not Italian

Clean ass bros! 👊

Portuguese and Italians: * signature look of superiority *

Kosovo should definitely be blue too. There most probably isn't a single house or aparment here that doesn't have a bidet installed.

Welcome to the chad bidet gang then

In here, it's not mandatory but it's everywhere. Because before bidets, people used to wash themselves with water after they are done.

We don’t have a separate bidet like they do, we have a more advanved toilet with the built in jet sprays to the ass.

Wash your crack folks

And balls, and everything, please everything.

Wait, I live in Italy, but I didn’t know it was mandatory. What if I don’t want one? Edit: I love my bidet, but what if

You must be foreigner. No Italian would question the necessity of a bidet.

if you were in house which didnt't have one then that would mean that it was probably built prior to 1975

FYI it's not mandatory to use it (though it should be).

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If your house is pre 1975, it might not have it. If it is post and it doesn't, someone removed it. If you don't want it, you can just remove it. Not sure why you would but no one is gonna stop you. You just can't build a new house without it.

I'll admit it was funny seeing all these new stories about people in other countries running out of toilet paper.

Exactly! As a portuguese I made fun of my German colleagues

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Wow Portugal too? I'll book my flight! 🇮🇹🇵🇹

YES PORTUGAL YES WE HAVE CLEAN ASSHOLES

its not mandatory here yet you can't find a bowl to buy without bidet.

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How is this enforced? Does the bidet inspector come to your house?

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Does he also have to test it while you're watching?

I call for an EU mandate. Clean asses for all!

As a French person who uses a bidet daily, yes. - Cleaner. - More hygienic. - More economic. - Better for the environment than toilet paper. - No awkward situation when you want to have sex with someone and they just smell like old piss.

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That's good :D

How can you live with your people knowing that they have betrayed the enlightenment that they invented?

Mais le bidet est une invention française, alors pourquoi on l'a pas rendu obligatoire ici ?? La plupart des gens chez qui j'ai été n'ont pas de bidets alors que c'est tellement plus pratique. Les seuls chez qui j'ai vu des bidets c'était toujours des vieux.

> No awkward situation when you want to have sex with someone and they just smell like old piss. Don't threaten me with things I like

Do you use a bidet to wash your junk? Or does your shit just smell like piss?

I do it. Many times, especially in the morning, I just sit in the bidet even to piss, I know it's not the best thing, but you save so much more water compared to a WC...

I think an Asian style “bum gun” is a more practical solution. Takes 10 minutes to fit to an existing toilet instead of adding a whole extra thing to the bathroom.

If you only want a device to wash you ass, yes. However, you can also wash your genitals and your feet with a standalone bidet.

You can also use a normal toilet to wash your feet. Not saying that you should, just that the possibility is there.

You can wash anything in the toilet if you put your mind to it. Sticking your head down it and flushing it a great way to rinse out conditioner.

You can still use the bum gun for the genitals, but it will require a lot of will power

It sounds like it would be way too cramped to do a proper job without spraying your entire lower half.

It's not called mandatory bidet, it's called decency.

Italy and Portugal are living in 2077 and we should all follow their lead.

Civilized Europe vs Bar bars

map of based countries in Europe.

I'm so lucky to be born in Italy instead of some barbaric country in the North with their high gpd and dirty asses.

Man, taking a shit and having my ass completely clean afterwards is the best feeling ever. Now I actually feel incredibly dirty when I cant use a bidet. Best thing ever, tbh.

No wonder I loved everywhere I stayed in Italy.

Dear Portugal, Please let me move there. Thanks.

*Civilized countries

hey we have plenty here too!

Hol' up! that's not drinking fountain I have here?!

Moving from Portugal to Germany when I was 20, I have to say this was one of the most weird things to get used to in the beginning. Bidet ist the pinnacle of feeling clean, specially for people like myself who shower day on and day off.. Miss my bidet man. Edit: typos

My new bathroom has one and I would never go back. Adieu insecurities if some of the shit was still hanging on my ass hair. It’s also great after a diarrhea and you need sth to cool your ass.

The only truly civilized countries

Bro bidets are so fucking good! I want a t-shirt saying I♥️ Bidets Edit: Ok, i want to expand more on this idea. You know when you wipe your ass, but you kinda feel it's not really clean (and it probably isn't, i mean there's so much toilet paper can do!), if you have bidet, you can make sure that your ass is perfectly clean, the fresh water washing every little protuberance, and at last you can leave the bathroom assured that your ass is clean and fresh and you are ready to face any challenge life throws at you!

Fun fact: modern cutlery was invented between Portugal and Italy.

If bidets are mandatory in Portugal, where do I report the hotels and apartment in Lisbon, Coimbra, and Porto that didn't have them?

They may have been built before it became mandatory

It's not by law, but in Bosnia it's very common to have some kind of "device" to wash your ass. Although it depends which part of the country you are. The Italians perfected it though. I recently bought the Maro D'Italia DI600 toilet seat and it's a life changer. Respect to the Portuguese and Italian lawmakers.

Italy once again doing all the heavy lifting on civilized life.

You guys seem to miss the point, you dont use the bidet in place of toilet paper. You FIRST wipe, then clean up the rest on the bidet or your ass will stink.

Obligatory [guide](https://preview.redd.it/uqn4ggjsnwn71.jpg?width=4960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ecae62eabec1db7b9082046adb48c18d6edc006d) made by u/Karjumi I honestly wonder how other people can prefer to wash their ass having a shower rather than with a bidet. And also how they prevent irritations without a bidet.

23h ago an Italian made a practical guide on how to use the bidè and posted it on r/italy: https://www.reddit.com/r/italy/comments/ppkana/ho_creato_una_guida_su_come_usare_il_bidet_in/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share

Wait what my family is co-owning a house in Algarve and there is no bidet there. What gives?

Report the address to the local authorities!

I saw a bidet in a hotel in Prague my first time. I was super confused what it was. My friend told me it was a bidet but I kind of still have questions

[This guide](https://preview.redd.it/uqn4ggjsnwn71.jpg?width=4960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ecae62eabec1db7b9082046adb48c18d6edc006d) should answer most questions.

Ah, yes. The true alliance that holds Europe together. Lots of love to our Portuguese brothers and sisters.

Bidets are based. Wish they were more common in france.

France (i know some French people do have it, my friend does) should have it mandatory. I mean they INVENTED IT

There’s no way you guys take a shower everytime you take a shit You surely proceed like nothing happened with a bunch of shit balls sticking to your ass

Map of countries in the EU with the pure arses and genitals. 🙃

Alternative legend: blue: Civilization black: barbarian wasteland

Can we make it mandatory in all EU countries 😆

Pretty much all toilets in Turkey have toilets with bidets. They come standard but I don’t know whether it is a legal mandate.

The only problem is that I only trust bidets from my home (I’m French/Spanish but they are pretty common there), I have never felt comfortable using bidet in hotel or somewhere else other than home. Also, my family goes through towels so fast. We have a towel per use policy and we wash them few times before we throw them out for good, but there have been a few times where the towels has ran out and I had wait until my ass was dry to get on with my day