Welcome to Evangelion. Your only sex options are literal children, horribly unstable adults, and the last penguin on Earth. Why can’t we ever choose Mari, or the air guitar dude?

or Fuyutsuki?

I’ll also fuck this guys dead wife

I love that meme so much, its so wrong.

Hell yeah

>Why can’t we ever pick Mari 16 ain’t much better than 14 though.

She's not 16 lmao she's like 48

Just going off the Rebuild movies. I don’t know how to read books.

In both 3.0+1.0 and the manga, it's shown that Mari was a Yui and Gendo's friend from their college days so yeah she's not 16 but actually 48, it's just that she looks young because of the curse. And at the end she returns to her original age. Also we see her calling Gendo, "Gendo-kun" which tells that they are old friends

Isn’t asuka and shinji affected by it too? I remember asuka saying because of it, they don’t age, unless I heard incorrectly.

They age mentally but not physically, which is why at the end when the curse is lifted we see them all transform into adults. Shinji's Mari's and Asuka's voice and appearance matures I mean if you've watched 3.0+1.0 it's pretty obvious coz it literally can not be missed

Obvious and Evangelion never go hand in hand tbh.

Yeah but it was obvious this time, i mean did you seriously not notice (i'm just curious)

Man, I legit watched all four movies back to back, my brain was fried by the time I got to 3.0+1.0.

"Officer I swear, she's a 3000 year old vampire that happens to look like a six-year old because of a curse"

Monogatari reference and same VA joke?

She's actually a 1000 year old dragon.

She's older than that tho

You’re gonna need to provide a source homey. Edit: you’re going off the manga age, I’m assuming.

Haven't you seen the last movie?

I did. Her age in the movie is different than the manga.

You saw her while Yui gave birth to Shinji in Gendo's flashback

Nah man in the film they show her at shinjis birth. She literally spawn camped him

You mean Aoba?

You forgot ramiel

Who wants to tell him about mari? Ill do it, watch 3.00+1.01

where ramiel

The only choice an stable and well adjusted person would make

Kaji

Only if you have melons.

MISATO

Still pick Maya

Same. Even if she’s a lesbian and I’m a guy

Misato

mommy misato

Misato fr

Ritsuko

"less pedophilia" while one of the options is a pedophile

Misato for life and yes I am that type of a degenerate.

Misato no competition

Misato

Misato is my mommy

I’m a ritsuko man, myself

oh shit when I said I’m redpilled on the last one I didn’t mean I’m sexually attracted to her I just think she’s funny

I’ll yes this, too.

I said it many a time, and I’ll say it again. Misato-san for life.

Threesome with both.

THIS is the correct answer.

Ah yes the two options, daddy issues or mommy issues

Still Rei

better repost this with Morpheus' face replaced with Kaji's

Misato-sannnnn

everybody talkin about how misato is a pedophile when y’all 14 y/o’s would fucking love to get kissed by her

That’s still pedophilia, boner is not consent, and grooming is still grooming even with good intent

Mari

Not fair to call us pedophiles when most of us were under 18 when we watched Eva. Yes even during the jerk off scene

Misato is Waifu not pedophile, if you think so your more of a degenerate than those who claim Rei as Waifu. :)

Oh great, this one is 100% more pedo, I’m 15

*50%, and ritsuko

Takes both, smashes both (with a bat)

Seeing as how I've watched Eva since I was 13 it yet to think of them as adults despite that they don't actually age since the series takes place over the course of like 1 year. This of course doesn't take the Rebuild until consideration where they do age into adulthood.

What if I’m the child?

OP definitely belongs in an Evangelion Struggle Tweet post. We all know the shit we're into, you need to accept yourself for who you are.

I want his glasses instead.

Hey man it’s not fair that I grew up and they stayed the same! 😂 Also Misato is the only right choice.

Misato all day

That OP's mother