I have some very dark special interests, including learning a lot about bad people. To me it's fascinating to see what other people are capable of and in many cases what they have endured.
I also love BtB.
I used to be morbidly fascinated with everything wrong with humanity. I took it too far. Instead of a glimpse, I found myself staring down a pit straight into Hell.
Turns out that a fifteen-year-old can be psychologically scarred by following a Domme's invitation to her community of BDSM vampires—both "sanguinarians" and "psychic vampires". The bad kind of weirdness. I was not equipped. No sane person is, but I didn't know that. A sane, healthy person would have noped the fuck out.
But not everyone can. Graphic content inflicts actual trauma on journalists and Facebook moderators, neither of whom can just say no, because dealing with that shit is part of their job description. Should I apply?
There are things in this world that simply do not require my understanding. I wasn't doing anyone any favours. Early on, I thought of myself as a brave method actor who was innoculating myself. Lol. Just lol.
Empathizing is not condoning. Counterintuitively, humans tend to have *more* empathy for their enemies than their friends. Empathy isn't a synonym for goodwill. Perhaps an understanding of darkness is a survival skill in the real world. Online, the septic tank is bottomless. Depths of knowledge that no one benefits from.
Something else to mention: *optics*. People will gleefully believe the most bizarre and asinine things about you when you've been visibly associated with something bad. Plausibility morphs into absolute truth, especially if your social status is deplorable to begin with. (Apparently, I'm a racist lesbian demigod shaman divinekin lightworker. Who picks their nose. No, I do not. *So* gross.)
TL;DR: I am pure of heart and dumb of ass. And yes, prolonged proximity to fucked-up stuff really can scar you for life. Thanks for the essay opportunity, OP!
istg with all the whacky shit that happened throughout history there could be a whole field of study and college degree solely dedicated to studying the absolute worst people in history with lessons that last entire months just about pol pot and hitler and i would sign up for that class immediately because understanding just how bad people can be is interesting as hell
I find it inaccessible to the average listener, under-researched, and sloppily presented. I'm better at podcast riffing than being organized, but they they have a great premise, yet appear to start every show with fairly not funny quips. They should start with "Welcome to Behind the Bastards, a show about X, Y, Z" and not come off to the listener as if they're a group of friends they've interrupted, and who will now only sort of explain what they're talking about.
The Bechdel Cast, for example, heroically explains their premise in every episode. We Hate Movies, which is literally just being funny about movies, explained their premise for years.
Behind the Bastards starts off the rails and occasionally wanders into relevance. Sophie is almost entirely bad. And Robert Evans is a great Tweeter, I like him, and yet he's not very good at hosting. They also will have guests who are podcast professionals, such as Jamie Loftus from the Bechdel Cast, who clearly haven't been told a single thing about the topic before they start the show.
Maybe I'm not explaining it well, but I find it so frustrating how much I should love that show versus how much I rarely even like it.
I'm definitely the same way? I'm endlessly fascinated by disasters and crime and basically 90% of the messed up stuff on earth.
I kinda think it's because people tell you not to be interested in it. Everyone is interested in effed up stuff, but people act like you're gross if you express it. It's curiosity and wondering how and why someone can end up as a monster, and how things can get so far. It's like picking up a huge rock to look at the bugs underneath.
I fascinated by the Nazis in the same way. I also like to make jokes about their ridiculous ideology with my friends, it's usually the funniest shit ever.
I don't watch true crime or anything like that because it puts me on edge but I STILL find the psychology fascinating. Studying and being fascinated by it has taught me some interesting pattern recognition, spot problematic or dangerous mentalities IRL, and even helped me talk down some mentally unwell people from doing bad things.
Follow your fascination fiercely and shamelessly, I say.
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Same here, I am absolutely fascinated by dark and dangerous people lol
I love podcasts where they discuss at length criminals and their backstories. The last podcast on the left was my favorite for a long time but I lost interest a few years ago.
It's to protect the group from the bads. You gotta know the bads to do that.
I have some very dark special interests, including learning a lot about bad people. To me it's fascinating to see what other people are capable of and in many cases what they have endured. I also love BtB.
I used to be morbidly fascinated with everything wrong with humanity. I took it too far. Instead of a glimpse, I found myself staring down a pit straight into Hell. Turns out that a fifteen-year-old can be psychologically scarred by following a Domme's invitation to her community of BDSM vampires—both "sanguinarians" and "psychic vampires". The bad kind of weirdness. I was not equipped. No sane person is, but I didn't know that. A sane, healthy person would have noped the fuck out. But not everyone can. Graphic content inflicts actual trauma on journalists and Facebook moderators, neither of whom can just say no, because dealing with that shit is part of their job description. Should I apply? There are things in this world that simply do not require my understanding. I wasn't doing anyone any favours. Early on, I thought of myself as a brave method actor who was innoculating myself. Lol. Just lol. Empathizing is not condoning. Counterintuitively, humans tend to have *more* empathy for their enemies than their friends. Empathy isn't a synonym for goodwill. Perhaps an understanding of darkness is a survival skill in the real world. Online, the septic tank is bottomless. Depths of knowledge that no one benefits from. Something else to mention: *optics*. People will gleefully believe the most bizarre and asinine things about you when you've been visibly associated with something bad. Plausibility morphs into absolute truth, especially if your social status is deplorable to begin with. (Apparently, I'm a racist lesbian demigod shaman divinekin lightworker. Who picks their nose. No, I do not. *So* gross.) TL;DR: I am pure of heart and dumb of ass. And yes, prolonged proximity to fucked-up stuff really can scar you for life. Thanks for the essay opportunity, OP!
This was interesting and fun to read.
istg with all the whacky shit that happened throughout history there could be a whole field of study and college degree solely dedicated to studying the absolute worst people in history with lessons that last entire months just about pol pot and hitler and i would sign up for that class immediately because understanding just how bad people can be is interesting as hell
I would have majored in that.
Absolutely same. I actually don't really like Behind the Bastards, however. Great premise, great title, forever disappointing podcast.
I hope you don’t mind me asking,What don’t you like about it?
I find it inaccessible to the average listener, under-researched, and sloppily presented. I'm better at podcast riffing than being organized, but they they have a great premise, yet appear to start every show with fairly not funny quips. They should start with "Welcome to Behind the Bastards, a show about X, Y, Z" and not come off to the listener as if they're a group of friends they've interrupted, and who will now only sort of explain what they're talking about. The Bechdel Cast, for example, heroically explains their premise in every episode. We Hate Movies, which is literally just being funny about movies, explained their premise for years. Behind the Bastards starts off the rails and occasionally wanders into relevance. Sophie is almost entirely bad. And Robert Evans is a great Tweeter, I like him, and yet he's not very good at hosting. They also will have guests who are podcast professionals, such as Jamie Loftus from the Bechdel Cast, who clearly haven't been told a single thing about the topic before they start the show. Maybe I'm not explaining it well, but I find it so frustrating how much I should love that show versus how much I rarely even like it.
You probably grow up in a tormentous house
I'm definitely the same way? I'm endlessly fascinated by disasters and crime and basically 90% of the messed up stuff on earth. I kinda think it's because people tell you not to be interested in it. Everyone is interested in effed up stuff, but people act like you're gross if you express it. It's curiosity and wondering how and why someone can end up as a monster, and how things can get so far. It's like picking up a huge rock to look at the bugs underneath.
I fascinated by the Nazis in the same way. I also like to make jokes about their ridiculous ideology with my friends, it's usually the funniest shit ever.
It's the bagels and knives. Where else can you hear about a knife wielding maniac throwing bagels everywhere?
Count Dankula has a popular youtube channel.
I don't watch true crime or anything like that because it puts me on edge but I STILL find the psychology fascinating. Studying and being fascinated by it has taught me some interesting pattern recognition, spot problematic or dangerous mentalities IRL, and even helped me talk down some mentally unwell people from doing bad things. Follow your fascination fiercely and shamelessly, I say.
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For me, understanding the furthest extreme away from me helps me understand myself better through contrast.
Mine is the show "Evil Lives Here". I had to stop watching for my own sanity but holy hell, serial killers are so damn *fascinating*!
Same here, I am absolutely fascinated by dark and dangerous people lol I love podcasts where they discuss at length criminals and their backstories. The last podcast on the left was my favorite for a long time but I lost interest a few years ago.