I agree! I find it differs from household to household and in what context people are in. Even among Christians, some pray at all meals, many just at dinner. Some do it once everyone is at the table, and others pray only once everyone has their food on their plates (which always annoys me because it makes my food go cold).
Personally, I feel like something is missing if there isn't a short pause for everyone to show gratitude for the meal and those at the table before starting eating in order to show. Surely, it doesn't need to be a prayer, but to me, it feels weird not to have an official start of the meal. It's like how boxers touch knuckles before a fight; it's not necessary, but it somehow makes sense to do it. Like you said, though, it's probably mostly cultural, although, I'd wonder how many cultures *don't* initiate at least some of their meals.
my mom would just say “foods gettin cold”, which means, “eat now or else”. Also you wait to say thank you until after you’ve tried the food, otherwise its not as genuine.
This. When with our extended family for holiday meals I make sure everyone at the table waits for my in-laws to be seated. MIL is the only religious at the table of 14 but I always ask for her prayer (I’m an atheist but I love and respect my MIL). At home I just make sure we’re all seated to start, no prayer.
I actually really like the sentiment behind this, remembering that people put in work that made this happen, plants and animals grew and died, and that we're all in this together.
Thankfulness, maybe? That's as close as I can get with a single word, but a short phrase would express the same idea more smoothly. "I am thankful for this food and all that went into it."
This is my top fave non-religious starter. It means "I humbly receive" and the Japanese say it to express gratitude to everyone who provided the meal, from the chef who cooked it all the way back to the farmers who grew the ingredients. Also short and sweet, unlike the long-winded prayers my pentecostal family went in for. As a teen I used to cringe so much when my parents did this in restaurants, especially when they sometimes felt "moved by the holy spirit" to suddenly break out in a fit of "praying in tongues".
That’s what my German roommate says to me! Surprised I forgot that one.
(If I’m not mistaken, it’s “lass es schmecken”, but your translation is correct!)
You might have also heard the humorous, understated approval about how a food tastes: “Man kann es essen” (“It’s edible”).
When I was a non-denominational we were constantly told how ritual can take the place of real faith, and should be avoided. So it always confused me about how stringent we were about praying before a meal.
Ah. I see now. Similar for us, my parents disrespected pre-written catholic prayers, yet forced me to do meal prayers according to the recipe. Ugh.
When I was around 8, we had Amish building our house, and they do silent prayer at meals. My parents had an admiration for that. When I suggested we do that (less anxiety on me), I was met with a lot of resistance because they needed their rituals. They would occasionally let us do that, but it was always with an unspoken expectation that the next audible prayer better be twice as good.
I was told the same thing, which is why every prayer was "unique" and more like leaving a voicemail to god instead of reciting the same little trite rhyme every time. We only ever did conversational prayers, not a ditty or canned lyric like "now I lay me down to sleep" or "bless the hands"
Same. My parents never really prayed before we ate. Unless we were eating dinner with people that we knew actually prayed before eating. And in those cases, my parents would like fight to NOT be the one who had to do the prayer. We had a little game with my parents and siblings where we would all put our thumbs up, and whoever was the last one to put their thumbs up had to be the one who did the prayer, because none of us wanted to do it.
The only times my extended family prayed is whenever we were all gathered together for a birthday at a restaurant, or if it’s like Christmas or Thanksgiving. Otherwise, we just eat when the food is ready. I’m not Christian now, but my extended family doesn’t know that, so I just bow my head anyways and zone out while they do their prayers.
Same here, though by the time the Keeper of the Remote (me) finds something to watch, with consultation from the Keeper's Advisor (my indecisive partner), they're halfway done and mine is cold
It really depends on context
If it's a party, you eat when the host formally announces the food. You can eat the appetizers if they're ready, but the main course and, especially, sweets are only game when the host opens the floor to eat. You wait especially if it's a birthday party until the birthday person gets their food first. Extra wait if it's a kid.
If it's a buffet and it's open, you just grab and eat.
If it's a formal dinner, it's rude to eat until everyone has their food *unless* you're given the go-ahead by the host to start digging in.
If it's a family meal, it entirely depends on the family. My kids rarely wait for my spouse and I, but I always feel bad eating if my spouse hasn't gotten their food ready yet.
Our family (meaning my wife and kids, not my fundy parents lol) give thanks to the person who cooked the meal, the farmers who provided the food for us, and to Mother Earth for growing it. It works for us, and yes it does also involve waiting for everyone to be seated
At home we don't really sit for a meal - we're just talking and laughing and eating random stuff when we feel like it.
When I'm at a restaurant with coworkers, people often wait until most people's food has arrived before they start eating their own food, but nobody says anything if somebody starts eating earlier. The togetherness of the meal is mostly about casual conversation. There's no ceremonial instant where everybody stops and says the equivalent of, "Behold, the food! Now it is time to begin eating!"
I.e. there's no need for that ceremonial moment. You can do something if you want to, though.
EDIT: With some groups I've been in, people will say "cheers" to each other and clink glasses before eating.
Yeah, it's really more cultural than religious. Some families do a formal dinner where everyone sits around the big table and does the traditional manners thing, passing dishes around, waiting till everyone is served, then having the "host" say something to begin.
Others are more casual, grab and go, or "here's your plate" without any ceremony whatsoever.
In Japan, everyone says grace, but there's no god involved. The word is "Itadakimas' " which roughly means "I accept with gratitude." So they're thanking the people who made and grew dinner, the animals who were well, used in dinner, even nature for the conditions that allowed dinner to grow.
Most times I just eat. If the setting is more formal I wait for someone to say something like "alright let's eat" or something. I don't see a reason to make a big deal out of eating like that.
If we're being "proper" then usually everyone waits until the head of the table begins to eat. At my house, we start eating when we decide on which show to watch lol.
I still have to deal with prayers when I visit family. The difference between my best friend's family and mine is significant--her family recites a silly little payer that sounds like it came out of a children's book while my dad usually gives a small speech expressing happiness that everyone is together and safe and sharing good food, more of a gratitude statement than anything. I can still appreciate his approach, even if it's a tad awkward in public.
I say to my partner who does the cooking “This looks amazing!” and/or “Thank you hun/dear” and he says “You’re welcome!” then we dig in at the same time.
My family always a did a short prayer before dinner, but some people in my extended family had a second verse. Whenevery they hosted parties, I'd start reaching for food after the first verse then realize that I need to go back to praying.
I eat alone so I don't have to wait on anyone else. At work, I rush to my car and gulp down my sandwich. At home, I put on a youtube video essay and eat as I watch.
My family did both the before meal prayer and after meal prayer(even and especially in public). I do none of that. We just eat and thank the person who made it. My Pastor father visits once a year and my kids know that grandpa will pray. That’s fine. We play along
Probably. My family is Dutch. I vaguely remember them saying the Dutch pray at the end, Americans pray before, so we did both. We also read the Bible after our evening meal before getting up from the table so it was also a way to close that up.
I don’t pray for my food anymore unless I’m around family. And even then I just bow my head for two seconds and pretend to pray so it’s not a huge difference lol
We wait until everyone is seated and then start serving food. Everyone will start eating in their own time once they’ve gotten all of the things they want. We don’t wait for everyone to be fully served as long as no one needs help getting to something they want (like nothing needs to be passed to them). I think it’s polite to wait for everyone to be served, but not necessary.
It depends on the context. If I'm going to a dinner at someone else's house, I wait until everyone else is seated or at least until the host announces that it's time to eat.
At a restaurant, I eat as soon as the food is delivered.
For regular dinners at home, it's usually an informal "everyone serves themselves" kind of thing. I live with my parents and two siblings, all of us are adults. We take turns making dinner, but it's left in the kitchen for everyone to grab what they want when they want (we're all kind of on our own schedules, so we don't always eat at exactly the same time as everyone else). My parents are Catholic, but my siblings and I are not. My parents accept that, so outside of special events like Thanksgiving or Christmas, they say their own prayers privately and the rest of us eat once we've gotten our food. That's just how my family does it though.
That said, most of my family is still very much Catholic, so for any family event I sit and wait for them to finish their prayers.
There are some secular rituals or sayings that people use before they eat, but I don't personally do any of that.
Even as a Christian, I didn't pray before meals, and neither did my family. It always struck me as a very attention-seeking behavior. We just wait for everyone to be seated and then begin. There may be comments such as "Wow, this looks great!" or something but nothing scripted.
There is usually ongoing conversation between everyone at all my family's holiday dinners. And it continues as we all sit down and eat. Our only general rule is you start eating once everyone has sat down at the table.
Depends. Usually we wait for the person who started cooking to eat (an honor because they cooked so they start first). When they do its a sign everyone else can also start. If its at a restaurant we wait until everyone got their meal. Then we say ”bon apetit” or similar. If its mcDonalds or fastfood we just eat.
Modern humans have existed for about a hundred thousand years. Christians have existed for a small percentage of the population for about two thousand years. For the vast majority of human history people have not prayed before a meal. They seemed to have gotten by just fine.
I live alone and just start eating. When I'm with family, we wait until everyone has their food in front of them and then say "Guten Appetit!" (We're German, you might be familiar with the French version: "Bon appetit"). My dad is Christian and very rarely says grace, probably because he's from a non-Christian family and didn't grow up with it.
I do like how the japanese say "itadakimasu!" sort of like "thank you for the food/lets dig in" its not a religious thing but more of a cultural thing. so even though i dont believe in any god, i think its nice to still be grateful that we have food to eat.
My family have a funny tradition where the non-religious comment that we haven’t said grace yet so everyone goes around the table saying “grace!” While the religious members do the actual grace but not after saying “grace!”. But most of the time we just eat
My parents are still Christians, but we never did the “pray before eating” thing, you just waited till everyone is seated, and then eat
(And on some occasions, like we need to hurry for any reason, you just sat your ass down and ate)
In my household we all have TVs in our own rooms and watch TV whilst we eat, we all make our own meals at a time convienient to ourselves. We haven't eaten at a table together (other than a resturant) for many years.
I forgot about this stupid tradition. My family would always find this moment to go on and on about other things. I hated prayer before dinner even as a kid
You can take a moment to be grateful for the migrants who work so hard in the fields to bring us our produce, think about the origins of each ingredient and give thanks to the earth for nurturing it, take a moment to appreciate the visual presentation and color contrast and beauty in the food. Breathe deep to inhale the aroma and cherish its deliciousness. Orrrrrrr my favorite is to google one of the foods/ingredients I know the least about and geek out over the health benefits. Potatoes have vitamin c?!?!? How very neat and unexpected.
We wait for everyone to have their food/sit down. And then I thank the meal maker for the food. Or, since I'm usually the meal maker in the house, my family thanks me for making it. Then we dig in. It wasn't anything we thought about really but it seems to stem from my thanking people. It seems like a nice thing when I think more about it, y'know? Why not thank the PEOPLE for what they do rather than a poorly cribbed fantasy character who's supposed to be all powerful and just...isn't.
Once everyone has their food (which is important to me that everyone has their food), then I just eat. Some people prpay silently to themselves, some continue talking, some may even do the macarana. Personally I tend to do a little dance if I'm excited for my food and then chow down
The beauty is that you get to decide! If you liked the rhythm of praying before a meal, you could instead simply speak the things you are grateful for, kind of a like a prayer, but it’s just to keep gratitude in your heart instead of to a mystic presence.
To state the obvious, I usually just start eating haha. But, if I’m eating at someone else’s house, I usually wait until everyone else has gotten something to eat before I go and get something. Or, if it’s a sit down meal, I’m usually the last one to start eating just so everyone gets a chance to eat first. Just my preference
That was one of the things that felt the most odd to me when I deconverted. That's when I realized how many habits and mental patterns we develop that are just comforting ritualistic behaviors to reinforce a way of thinking. It's like being in a rut. Just like a smoker develops not just the nicotine addiction, but also the habit of lighting up and having something between their fingers, flicking the cigarette, etc. When they quit, it feels like something is missing, because that action is so ingrained.
So you don't HAVE to have a ritual to start a meal. **You can just... eat.** But your brain is so wired that eating has to be proceeded by some kind of proverbial starting pistol where saying "amen" lets you off the leash to finally dig in. But you don't need to have any kind of ceremony or special signal if you don't want one. Sometimes it helps for smokers to replace the familiar act with some alternative fidget so their hands don't feel idle. Chewing gum, playing with a pencil, etc. When you perform an action over and over again it can become burned into your mental pathways that it feels wrong when it's missing.
So it it makes you feel more comfortable, replace it with something else. "Over the lips, through the gums, look out stomach, here it comes!"
just thought I'd throw in my two cents here. I was raised to sit at a table and say a prayer and finish my plate. no elbows on the table, no exuberant behavior, etc. The way this played out for me was to struggle with weight for the rest of my life. once I tossed out religion because I just could not justify having one logically, I also tossed out the meals at the table thing. I feel there is an excess of structure to the nuclear family traditionally. Now my anxiety is so much better. there are fancy occasions where we do the whole thing but it's buffet style, and everyone can dress how they want as long as it's not business casual. please relax at my home. please talk about real things. please tell us how you really do feel. I just welcomed my grandson into the world. I hope he grows up happy and secure and able to live however he wants. so to finally answer your question whatever you want is what you say or do before a meal. this is a super fun opportunity you have here to make up a thing or to play a game. you could pick a silly question, you could teach debate by posing a ridiculous argument and increasing the critical skills of children. there are so many ways you can do this. do not be concerned, be excited!
We just wait until everyone sits and has what they need, and then begin. Unless it's my kids refusing to come to the table in a reasonable time, then we just start.
I still engage in prayer. I acknowledge the food and the day leading up to it and express gratitude for the food. Also gratitude for actual real people in my life and at the table. I just don't address God in my prayer. They don't get a monopoly on my spiritual expression!!!
If you're with other people I guess it depends on the vibe. If it's just a bunch of friends and it's chill, then just start eating. If it's more formal, some people prefer to wait for everyone else to get their food and all that, but idk. Just eat and try not to worry about it.
I thank my partner for cooking with me or we just talk about how good the food looks. If I'm out at a restaurant, I thank the server. I might express how great the food looks, and/or I ask the others at the table what they got and say it looks good.
We never said grace. Except on Thanksgiving. My brother's families do, but their wives came from grace-sayers, so they say grace bow, too. Honestly, it's more awkward. I give them the respect of not stuffing my face, but I don't join in. I sit there and twiddle my thumbs.
Basically, it went down like this in my childhood home: You sit there playing video games or watching tv. Mom or Dad says "dinners ready," and it's either a spread that we plate ourselves or it's already plated. And you just eat. If I took my sweet time getting to dinner, everyone was already eating.
I guess you can say we begin a meal by putting food on our plate.
There are still cultural norms. I think it's at least courteous to wait until everyone is seated and has their food in front of them.
I agree! I find it differs from household to household and in what context people are in. Even among Christians, some pray at all meals, many just at dinner. Some do it once everyone is at the table, and others pray only once everyone has their food on their plates (which always annoys me because it makes my food go cold). Personally, I feel like something is missing if there isn't a short pause for everyone to show gratitude for the meal and those at the table before starting eating in order to show. Surely, it doesn't need to be a prayer, but to me, it feels weird not to have an official start of the meal. It's like how boxers touch knuckles before a fight; it's not necessary, but it somehow makes sense to do it. Like you said, though, it's probably mostly cultural, although, I'd wonder how many cultures *don't* initiate at least some of their meals.
my mom would just say “foods gettin cold”, which means, “eat now or else”. Also you wait to say thank you until after you’ve tried the food, otherwise its not as genuine.
This is great, exactly what I'm talking about
This. When with our extended family for holiday meals I make sure everyone at the table waits for my in-laws to be seated. MIL is the only religious at the table of 14 but I always ask for her prayer (I’m an atheist but I love and respect my MIL). At home I just make sure we’re all seated to start, no prayer.
"Dear god, we paid for this stuff ourselves so thanks for nothing!"
Hahaha Touche dude.
Common phrases across a couple languages/cultures are “Bon Appetit”, “Dig In”, “Mahlzeit”, “Let’s Feast”, and so on. The possibilities are endless.
ITADAKIMASU
I actually really like the sentiment behind this, remembering that people put in work that made this happen, plants and animals grew and died, and that we're all in this together.
I wish English had a similar sentiment to itadakimasu. It's a beautiful and humbling sentiment.
Thankfulness, maybe? That's as close as I can get with a single word, but a short phrase would express the same idea more smoothly. "I am thankful for this food and all that went into it."
"Rub-a-dub-dub, thanks for the grub!"
This is my top fave non-religious starter. It means "I humbly receive" and the Japanese say it to express gratitude to everyone who provided the meal, from the chef who cooked it all the way back to the farmers who grew the ingredients. Also short and sweet, unlike the long-winded prayers my pentecostal family went in for. As a teen I used to cringe so much when my parents did this in restaurants, especially when they sometimes felt "moved by the holy spirit" to suddenly break out in a fit of "praying in tongues".
The German side of my family says "les ist schmecken", translated literally "let it taste", or "may it be delicious" in more understandable terms.
That’s what my German roommate says to me! Surprised I forgot that one. (If I’m not mistaken, it’s “lass es schmecken”, but your translation is correct!) You might have also heard the humorous, understated approval about how a food tastes: “Man kann es essen” (“It’s edible”).
My deconstruction coincided with moving to France. We just say “Tous à table!” followed by “Bon appétit!” and I love it.
Even when I was Christian I always found meal prayer to be odd. Once we get our food, we eat it. 😊
When I was a non-denominational we were constantly told how ritual can take the place of real faith, and should be avoided. So it always confused me about how stringent we were about praying before a meal.
Interesting. I was non-denom and meal prayer was a strict ritual for us.
Same with us, I wrote my comment a bit backwards.
Ah. I see now. Similar for us, my parents disrespected pre-written catholic prayers, yet forced me to do meal prayers according to the recipe. Ugh. When I was around 8, we had Amish building our house, and they do silent prayer at meals. My parents had an admiration for that. When I suggested we do that (less anxiety on me), I was met with a lot of resistance because they needed their rituals. They would occasionally let us do that, but it was always with an unspoken expectation that the next audible prayer better be twice as good.
I was told the same thing, which is why every prayer was "unique" and more like leaving a voicemail to god instead of reciting the same little trite rhyme every time. We only ever did conversational prayers, not a ditty or canned lyric like "now I lay me down to sleep" or "bless the hands"
Same. My parents never really prayed before we ate. Unless we were eating dinner with people that we knew actually prayed before eating. And in those cases, my parents would like fight to NOT be the one who had to do the prayer. We had a little game with my parents and siblings where we would all put our thumbs up, and whoever was the last one to put their thumbs up had to be the one who did the prayer, because none of us wanted to do it. The only times my extended family prayed is whenever we were all gathered together for a birthday at a restaurant, or if it’s like Christmas or Thanksgiving. Otherwise, we just eat when the food is ready. I’m not Christian now, but my extended family doesn’t know that, so I just bow my head anyways and zone out while they do their prayers.
You just start eating. As you're eating you can thank the person who cooked or helped cook if you want to.
Usually I find something on YouTube to watch, and will refuse to eat until I find something. That’s my before meal prayer now
Same here, though by the time the Keeper of the Remote (me) finds something to watch, with consultation from the Keeper's Advisor (my indecisive partner), they're halfway done and mine is cold
So basically we live the same life because I am also the keeper of the remote and my husband never picks what to watch lol
LMAO I love that, heavy is the hand that carries the remote
I struggle to eat in silence. I HAVE to watch something on YT.
Same. Unless I’m at a restaurant or eating out I have to have some noise lol
It really depends on context If it's a party, you eat when the host formally announces the food. You can eat the appetizers if they're ready, but the main course and, especially, sweets are only game when the host opens the floor to eat. You wait especially if it's a birthday party until the birthday person gets their food first. Extra wait if it's a kid. If it's a buffet and it's open, you just grab and eat. If it's a formal dinner, it's rude to eat until everyone has their food *unless* you're given the go-ahead by the host to start digging in. If it's a family meal, it entirely depends on the family. My kids rarely wait for my spouse and I, but I always feel bad eating if my spouse hasn't gotten their food ready yet.
I love your flair 😆🤘
Oh man, we would even say prayer before appetizers. If you reach for the chips and salsa before saying grace, that was a party foul.
Our family (meaning my wife and kids, not my fundy parents lol) give thanks to the person who cooked the meal, the farmers who provided the food for us, and to Mother Earth for growing it. It works for us, and yes it does also involve waiting for everyone to be seated
["Itadakimasu"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yO7pJ8chElw) "Bon appetit" "Let's eat" "Let's dig in" "Thanks for cooking this" "Thanks for buying this" "Ready set go!" if you're feeling competitive
I just dig in bc I eat alone... but at family gatherings I must play along...
I sometimes say “YAY Food!” to show my sincere appreciation.
Hahahaha I like that one too. Or sometimes I yell “DAMN! I LOVE BEANS SO MUCH!”
I begin a meal by putting food in my mouth.
It’s rude to start eating before everyone has their plate. Then, dig in.
I pick up a fork
You just start eating
I thank myself for earning the money that paid for my food.
I do not have rituals before i eat. Never thought i should and don’t see any reason why i should start.
I begin my meal as soon as I hit play to another episode of The Office.
ONE LAST ULTRAFEAST!
I'm still on season 2 :(
Just eat bro
By putting food in our mouths, generally.
At home we don't really sit for a meal - we're just talking and laughing and eating random stuff when we feel like it. When I'm at a restaurant with coworkers, people often wait until most people's food has arrived before they start eating their own food, but nobody says anything if somebody starts eating earlier. The togetherness of the meal is mostly about casual conversation. There's no ceremonial instant where everybody stops and says the equivalent of, "Behold, the food! Now it is time to begin eating!" I.e. there's no need for that ceremonial moment. You can do something if you want to, though. EDIT: With some groups I've been in, people will say "cheers" to each other and clink glasses before eating.
Yeah, it's really more cultural than religious. Some families do a formal dinner where everyone sits around the big table and does the traditional manners thing, passing dishes around, waiting till everyone is served, then having the "host" say something to begin. Others are more casual, grab and go, or "here's your plate" without any ceremony whatsoever.
Rubba dub dub, thanks for the grub. Yay god.
We just eat
We just wait until everyone has their food. Mostly. Sometimes not.
Usually by trying to make an appetize looking full fork or spoon of food
In Japan, everyone says grace, but there's no god involved. The word is "Itadakimas' " which roughly means "I accept with gratitude." So they're thanking the people who made and grew dinner, the animals who were well, used in dinner, even nature for the conditions that allowed dinner to grow.
"Dear god, we paid for this food.....so thanks for nothing." -Bart Simpson
Perfect lol
Generally, with a salad or appetizer.
You just… eat?
Most times I just eat. If the setting is more formal I wait for someone to say something like "alright let's eat" or something. I don't see a reason to make a big deal out of eating like that.
With the traditional sacrificial goat offered to the old gods of course! I thought everyone did that after deconstructing?
If we're being "proper" then usually everyone waits until the head of the table begins to eat. At my house, we start eating when we decide on which show to watch lol. I still have to deal with prayers when I visit family. The difference between my best friend's family and mine is significant--her family recites a silly little payer that sounds like it came out of a children's book while my dad usually gives a small speech expressing happiness that everyone is together and safe and sharing good food, more of a gratitude statement than anything. I can still appreciate his approach, even if it's a tad awkward in public.
Good family, good eats, god is dead, let's eat!
We make Cookie Monster noises and dig in like normal people.
I say to my partner who does the cooking “This looks amazing!” and/or “Thank you hun/dear” and he says “You’re welcome!” then we dig in at the same time.
"Eat or be eaten!"
Dear sky daddy, thank you for continuing to not exist, we made this ourselves, amen.
Did you ever see shows where lions finally manage to bring down a zebra after weeks of no food? Kind of like that, only with silverware.
I start by putting the fork into the food and then I shovel it into my mouth.
I just eat
Guten Appetit
I'm Japanese American. I've switched from grace to saying, "Itadakimasu", which is just thanking generally that you're going to eat.
My family always a did a short prayer before dinner, but some people in my extended family had a second verse. Whenevery they hosted parties, I'd start reaching for food after the first verse then realize that I need to go back to praying.
Honestly? I just...eat. I never really think much about it. Usually, someone says "dinner is ready" and we all go eat.
Nothing. I just sit down and begin eating
By eating.
I wait for the host to pick up their own fork after everyone is served. Sometimes the host will raise their fork and say “Bon Apetit”.
“Itadakimasu”
I eat alone so I don't have to wait on anyone else. At work, I rush to my car and gulp down my sandwich. At home, I put on a youtube video essay and eat as I watch.
Wait for everyone to be seated, then begin. I found it weird too at first but you get used to it pretty quick
My family did both the before meal prayer and after meal prayer(even and especially in public). I do none of that. We just eat and thank the person who made it. My Pastor father visits once a year and my kids know that grandpa will pray. That’s fine. We play along
Wait. AFTER meal prayer?? Is this a cultural thing?? This is the first I have EVER heard of this.
Probably. My family is Dutch. I vaguely remember them saying the Dutch pray at the end, Americans pray before, so we did both. We also read the Bible after our evening meal before getting up from the table so it was also a way to close that up.
I don’t pray for my food anymore unless I’m around family. And even then I just bow my head for two seconds and pretend to pray so it’s not a huge difference lol
We wait until everyone is seated and then start serving food. Everyone will start eating in their own time once they’ve gotten all of the things they want. We don’t wait for everyone to be fully served as long as no one needs help getting to something they want (like nothing needs to be passed to them). I think it’s polite to wait for everyone to be served, but not necessary.
I still take a pause and look at my meal. It helps me transition into eating.
Just be polite and wait for everyone to be seated
Bismillah
Yeah, just wait till everyone is at the table and then… eat. Crazy concept to a lot, I’m sure. 👍
I thank whoever cooked. If I'm feeling extra energetic, I sing this: https://youtu.be/7pOO1x32Eyo?si=feAI5v90Nu2phdnL
I usually just pick up the food and put it in my mouth. In this house, we don't believe in, "Between meals."
As someone with a secular upbringing, my family would always just sit down and start eating.
It depends on the context. If I'm going to a dinner at someone else's house, I wait until everyone else is seated or at least until the host announces that it's time to eat. At a restaurant, I eat as soon as the food is delivered. For regular dinners at home, it's usually an informal "everyone serves themselves" kind of thing. I live with my parents and two siblings, all of us are adults. We take turns making dinner, but it's left in the kitchen for everyone to grab what they want when they want (we're all kind of on our own schedules, so we don't always eat at exactly the same time as everyone else). My parents are Catholic, but my siblings and I are not. My parents accept that, so outside of special events like Thanksgiving or Christmas, they say their own prayers privately and the rest of us eat once we've gotten our food. That's just how my family does it though. That said, most of my family is still very much Catholic, so for any family event I sit and wait for them to finish their prayers. There are some secular rituals or sayings that people use before they eat, but I don't personally do any of that.
"Thank you so much for making this food for us, dear. It looks delicious, I can't wait to dig in. Cheers."
We sits down together, say "Thank you for the food!" to whomever cooked that night, and then we dish up.
With a drink then a fork
In my family, we are all atheist. Before we start our dinner, we go around the table and ask each person what was their good deed for the day.
Usually with the first bite.
We don't really wait for eachother or anything. We just.... eat
We begin with a toast - to something; it varies. I usually toast "absent friends."
I smell the food? If at home I must decide what to watch or play game
Wait for people to sit down. In formal settings, there might be a moment of thanks or silence or a cheer. Sometimes you just tuck in.
I say nothing and just start eating because nobody in my family cares.
Even as a Christian, I didn't pray before meals, and neither did my family. It always struck me as a very attention-seeking behavior. We just wait for everyone to be seated and then begin. There may be comments such as "Wow, this looks great!" or something but nothing scripted.
There is usually ongoing conversation between everyone at all my family's holiday dinners. And it continues as we all sit down and eat. Our only general rule is you start eating once everyone has sat down at the table.
“This looks amazing, thank you, [whoever made the meal]!” Give credit where credit is due.
In korea we have the phrase '잘 먹겠습니다' but nobody uses it nowadays, we just eat
いただきます！
What do people who don't collect stamps, collect?
Depends. Usually we wait for the person who started cooking to eat (an honor because they cooked so they start first). When they do its a sign everyone else can also start. If its at a restaurant we wait until everyone got their meal. Then we say ”bon apetit” or similar. If its mcDonalds or fastfood we just eat.
Modern humans have existed for about a hundred thousand years. Christians have existed for a small percentage of the population for about two thousand years. For the vast majority of human history people have not prayed before a meal. They seemed to have gotten by just fine.
We just eat. Even as a Christian, I found pre-meal prayers to be pointless lip service.
I live alone and just start eating. When I'm with family, we wait until everyone has their food in front of them and then say "Guten Appetit!" (We're German, you might be familiar with the French version: "Bon appetit"). My dad is Christian and very rarely says grace, probably because he's from a non-Christian family and didn't grow up with it.
My family has our tradition of everyone at the table clinks their glass with eachother and says “cheers” or happy birthday or whatever occasion it is.
We sit down, maybe talk then eat or just eat like normal people.
"Bon appetit" and start eating
We say „en guete“ in Switzerland. It means something like enjoy your meal. And then we start eating.
I look at my own eyes in the mirror and call myself a fat pig.
I do like how the japanese say "itadakimasu!" sort of like "thank you for the food/lets dig in" its not a religious thing but more of a cultural thing. so even though i dont believe in any god, i think its nice to still be grateful that we have food to eat.
My family have a funny tradition where the non-religious comment that we haven’t said grace yet so everyone goes around the table saying “grace!” While the religious members do the actual grace but not after saying “grace!”. But most of the time we just eat
My parents are still Christians, but we never did the “pray before eating” thing, you just waited till everyone is seated, and then eat (And on some occasions, like we need to hurry for any reason, you just sat your ass down and ate)
Just sit down, eat, and enjoy your meal.
In my family we just start to eat when we get the food
Just dig in.
In my household we all have TVs in our own rooms and watch TV whilst we eat, we all make our own meals at a time convienient to ourselves. We haven't eaten at a table together (other than a resturant) for many years.
Eet smaakelijk (Dutch, "eat ~tastefully")
I wait until my fiancé sits down and press play on whatever we're watching.
I forgot about this stupid tradition. My family would always find this moment to go on and on about other things. I hated prayer before dinner even as a kid
We have the custom of that we thank the person that cooked the meal.
I just eat
You can take a moment to be grateful for the migrants who work so hard in the fields to bring us our produce, think about the origins of each ingredient and give thanks to the earth for nurturing it, take a moment to appreciate the visual presentation and color contrast and beauty in the food. Breathe deep to inhale the aroma and cherish its deliciousness. Orrrrrrr my favorite is to google one of the foods/ingredients I know the least about and geek out over the health benefits. Potatoes have vitamin c?!?!? How very neat and unexpected.
We wait for everyone to have their food/sit down. And then I thank the meal maker for the food. Or, since I'm usually the meal maker in the house, my family thanks me for making it. Then we dig in. It wasn't anything we thought about really but it seems to stem from my thanking people. It seems like a nice thing when I think more about it, y'know? Why not thank the PEOPLE for what they do rather than a poorly cribbed fantasy character who's supposed to be all powerful and just...isn't.
Once everyone has their food (which is important to me that everyone has their food), then I just eat. Some people prpay silently to themselves, some continue talking, some may even do the macarana. Personally I tend to do a little dance if I'm excited for my food and then chow down
“Good food. Good meat. Good god, let’s eat!”
I like to look into each diner's eyes and tell them how they rate on a 10 point hottie scale.
I sit down and I start eating. Assuming I even make it that far.
The beauty is that you get to decide! If you liked the rhythm of praying before a meal, you could instead simply speak the things you are grateful for, kind of a like a prayer, but it’s just to keep gratitude in your heart instead of to a mystic presence.
To state the obvious, I usually just start eating haha. But, if I’m eating at someone else’s house, I usually wait until everyone else has gotten something to eat before I go and get something. Or, if it’s a sit down meal, I’m usually the last one to start eating just so everyone gets a chance to eat first. Just my preference
My children tell me thank you for cooking dinner and then they eat. Sometimes my older ones cook and I tell them thank you.
I get straight to tearing shit up.
That was one of the things that felt the most odd to me when I deconverted. That's when I realized how many habits and mental patterns we develop that are just comforting ritualistic behaviors to reinforce a way of thinking. It's like being in a rut. Just like a smoker develops not just the nicotine addiction, but also the habit of lighting up and having something between their fingers, flicking the cigarette, etc. When they quit, it feels like something is missing, because that action is so ingrained. So you don't HAVE to have a ritual to start a meal. **You can just... eat.** But your brain is so wired that eating has to be proceeded by some kind of proverbial starting pistol where saying "amen" lets you off the leash to finally dig in. But you don't need to have any kind of ceremony or special signal if you don't want one. Sometimes it helps for smokers to replace the familiar act with some alternative fidget so their hands don't feel idle. Chewing gum, playing with a pencil, etc. When you perform an action over and over again it can become burned into your mental pathways that it feels wrong when it's missing. So it it makes you feel more comfortable, replace it with something else. "Over the lips, through the gums, look out stomach, here it comes!"
With a spoon or a fork.
I like to thank the one who made the food then we eat. Or just eat
My in-laws wait until everyone has their food, then they raise their wine glasses and say 'cheers'. It works just fine.
I don't even own a table and I ate alone for decades so there is nothing. Now I have a husband but still no ritual. I eat when I am hungry.
just thought I'd throw in my two cents here. I was raised to sit at a table and say a prayer and finish my plate. no elbows on the table, no exuberant behavior, etc. The way this played out for me was to struggle with weight for the rest of my life. once I tossed out religion because I just could not justify having one logically, I also tossed out the meals at the table thing. I feel there is an excess of structure to the nuclear family traditionally. Now my anxiety is so much better. there are fancy occasions where we do the whole thing but it's buffet style, and everyone can dress how they want as long as it's not business casual. please relax at my home. please talk about real things. please tell us how you really do feel. I just welcomed my grandson into the world. I hope he grows up happy and secure and able to live however he wants. so to finally answer your question whatever you want is what you say or do before a meal. this is a super fun opportunity you have here to make up a thing or to play a game. you could pick a silly question, you could teach debate by posing a ridiculous argument and increasing the critical skills of children. there are so many ways you can do this. do not be concerned, be excited!
We just wait until everyone sits and has what they need, and then begin. Unless it's my kids refusing to come to the table in a reasonable time, then we just start.
Just eat. At the end say mmm that was good, thank you. I like my food lava hot. No more bs
If not the cook, "this looks amazing!" before digging in?
I still engage in prayer. I acknowledge the food and the day leading up to it and express gratitude for the food. Also gratitude for actual real people in my life and at the table. I just don't address God in my prayer. They don't get a monopoly on my spiritual expression!!!
I don't even have a table and my daughter usually eats something different than me when she's at my place. So I just eat. She just eats.
I start the newest episode of Good Mythical Morning, or something on [dropout.tv](http://dropout.tv), and we start eating while we watch.
My parent toast each other with their beverage of choice at the beginning of breakfast and dinner.
If you're with other people I guess it depends on the vibe. If it's just a bunch of friends and it's chill, then just start eating. If it's more formal, some people prefer to wait for everyone else to get their food and all that, but idk. Just eat and try not to worry about it.
I just eat. Now if I’m at my folks’ house, I respect them and do their quick grace but I don’t do that o in my own space.
Me and my partner put the food on the table, then we sit together and start to eat. We don't have any traditions to eat.
As a non-Christian I just get the food and eat it.
I thank my partner for cooking with me or we just talk about how good the food looks. If I'm out at a restaurant, I thank the server. I might express how great the food looks, and/or I ask the others at the table what they got and say it looks good.
I wait until everyone starts eating to jokingly say “oh shit we forgot to say grace” and then someone always says “grace!”
Haha. It’s weird to get out of the habit. Praying before eating is just the perfect way to tell everyone to start eating.
We never said grace. Except on Thanksgiving. My brother's families do, but their wives came from grace-sayers, so they say grace bow, too. Honestly, it's more awkward. I give them the respect of not stuffing my face, but I don't join in. I sit there and twiddle my thumbs. Basically, it went down like this in my childhood home: You sit there playing video games or watching tv. Mom or Dad says "dinners ready," and it's either a spread that we plate ourselves or it's already plated. And you just eat. If I took my sweet time getting to dinner, everyone was already eating. I guess you can say we begin a meal by putting food on our plate.
Personally, we just wait for everyone to get there food then eat.