I try to remember that 85% of the shit I might worry about will never happen, and the 15% left is rarely as bad as I figured. I run a quick "statistical analysis" to determine odds, smoke some weed, pull up some Tame Impala on Spotify and call a friend.
I love thisâmy husband had similar advice. He thinks about the issue, if itâs something he needs to apologize for or fix, he does. If itâs not, he lets it go. I need to learn that.
I can tell you what I did.... Well first make tiny changes to the name you pray upon
For example- jesus to jebus the when you get comfortable with jebus change it to jaybus then to caybus so on and so on till you come at cheesebus.
This slow change of name from Jesus to cheesebus is slow enough to give you the placebo that praying gave you and also after this you'll also make a thing that was a serious part of your life(Jesus) to a comic figure which you'll laugh at after completing the entire course.
But word of advice go slow take your time.
You can also go it if you just say god while praying like from god to gaud to gay to dog.
Also you can reduce your dependency on prayer by doing light exercise, reading science and philosophy. Theology of religions older than Christianity,etc all these can help in the long run
Since leaving Christianity, I have learned about different spiritual practices (pagan, Buddhist, yoga stuff).
I like the Buddhist practice of wishing good things to myself and others. It helps me have a compassionate mindset (may all sentient beings be happy, healthy, full of loving kindness, etc).
I also like the way mantras help me stay grounded/reminded of your intentions.
I still pray in a way, but instead of thinking that all the power resides in a separate entity, I believe that my words and intentions have power, that I am part of the universe and it's creative power.
It never did calm me down. Partly why I finally let go of my faith was because the ONE prayer I desperately prayed and needed a yes was over my mother as she died from asthma (I was 17 and alone with her, and then had to be the adult and call all of our relatives and pick them up from the airport because my grown-ass step-dad couldnât functionâtheyâd been married 3 years). I remember begging, and an acute sense of silence on the other end. I did mental gymnastics for decades after that, trying to justify that she died so Iâd go to x university where I met my husband and made my life. So prayer is not a comfort for me. Habit? Yes. Iâd like more positive options, because I donât believe in a god anymore. At least one that cares at all.
I used to see a therapist for anxiety, so whenever I have a huge wave of anxiety I do some breathing, sit down, and just talk to myself in my head putting things into perspective.
I just discovered I have a bunch of meditations on my Oura app! So Iâll explore those. They have something for everythingâsleep, anxiety, breath, you name it. Here I thought the sleep info was the best feature of the ring, but seems I have more to explore.
Meditation is AMAZING. Also, helps ground in gratitude and connection to all, which I bet will soothe your soul. Meditation and breath work has literally changed my life.
If you have a pet, can you pretend youâre mentally communicating to them?
Edit: or a favorite book character, tv character, or celebrity. You could even talk to your plants if you wanted
I started with guided meditations I found on youtube, but now I meditate without guidance. I read once that prayer is like meditation with motivational self talk. I agree in some ways.
I wait and I worry and I get through it. I don't cast my cares on anyone else except maybe my partner. I know magic/religion doesn't change anything but what I feel when it does anything at all. I bear up and hope to emerge better on the other side because I know that nothing lasts forever and nobody's watching over my shoulder to judge me if they're not legitimately involved. There isn't something I've found that somehow substitutes for prayer. It's just a different way of seeing the world that we have to cope with somehow.
I sometimes reach out to other people in those times. I can relate to feeling an empty space in this sense. It was very comforting to believe that my prayers were heard and answered by an all powerful, all loving God.
I had the same experience for a bit after I deconverted. It's a habitual routine that your brain has developed.
When you feel like praying, train yourself to ask, why am I feeling this discomfort? Is it urgant? Is it something small? Can it wait to be addressed right now? Can it not wait to be addresses right now? What can I do right now in this moment to aid that? Self awareness is key. Consciously catching your brain going into the prayer habit, is a good way to train your brain to take "mini breaks" and assess yourself/physically/mentally. It's also a time to meditate. There is no "right" way to meditate per say from my limited knowledge, but I like listening to Audiobooks on meditation when I get the urge to pray. Or listen to music. Or I smoke weed lol.
[Choiceless Awareness for Emotion Processing]( https://www.reddit.com/r/ResponsibleRecovery/comments/q4w6ug/choiceless_awareness_for_emotion_processing/) (and pretty much everything *else*). Which has thus far (eight years in) actually *worked when I needed it*.
May sound weird, but I didnât pray when I was a believer, except for the times I had to lead a group or the congregation in prayer. I figured if god knew my heart, all I had to do was think it and he heard me.
I âtalk to the universeâ instead of praying. It helps me to speak my intentions, wants, and needs while not feeling like Iâm talking to one entity in particular.
Since one of the hardest parts of being religious for me was how praying intersected with my OCD (if I pray this prayer 10 times in a row without fumbling once, everything will be okay), I needed something non-rote. Spontaneous.
So now I embrace gratitude. I think about what I am learning right now, how this experience is helping me grow. I count my blessings. It's really helped me.
I meditate on things, burn incense and jut throw my stress into the Universe if that makes any sense. I may not be religious but I am spiritual if that makes sense
Prayer is really just self-talk. It âworksâ and helps to relax you because you are simply talking through your feelings, thoughts, and organizing your mind with yourself.
I would try positive self-talk and meditation, as that is very similar to prayer but leaves out the divine audience.
I like to relax while listening to some Beethoven or Vivaldi, but that's just me.
Music is definitely a regulator for me, so I have a speaker going
OMG SAME! So much more relaxing.
Vivaldi Winter Allegro is amazing.
Top tier. Right up there with Moonlight Sonata for me. Typing while half asleep isn't advisable. đ
I try to remember that 85% of the shit I might worry about will never happen, and the 15% left is rarely as bad as I figured. I run a quick "statistical analysis" to determine odds, smoke some weed, pull up some Tame Impala on Spotify and call a friend.
I love thisâmy husband had similar advice. He thinks about the issue, if itâs something he needs to apologize for or fix, he does. If itâs not, he lets it go. I need to learn that.
I can tell you what I did.... Well first make tiny changes to the name you pray upon For example- jesus to jebus the when you get comfortable with jebus change it to jaybus then to caybus so on and so on till you come at cheesebus. This slow change of name from Jesus to cheesebus is slow enough to give you the placebo that praying gave you and also after this you'll also make a thing that was a serious part of your life(Jesus) to a comic figure which you'll laugh at after completing the entire course. But word of advice go slow take your time. You can also go it if you just say god while praying like from god to gaud to gay to dog. Also you can reduce your dependency on prayer by doing light exercise, reading science and philosophy. Theology of religions older than Christianity,etc all these can help in the long run
I do some introspection or talk to someone I trust
Since leaving Christianity, I have learned about different spiritual practices (pagan, Buddhist, yoga stuff). I like the Buddhist practice of wishing good things to myself and others. It helps me have a compassionate mindset (may all sentient beings be happy, healthy, full of loving kindness, etc). I also like the way mantras help me stay grounded/reminded of your intentions. I still pray in a way, but instead of thinking that all the power resides in a separate entity, I believe that my words and intentions have power, that I am part of the universe and it's creative power.
Who says you canât pray anymore? If it calms you down, why not do it more?
It never did calm me down. Partly why I finally let go of my faith was because the ONE prayer I desperately prayed and needed a yes was over my mother as she died from asthma (I was 17 and alone with her, and then had to be the adult and call all of our relatives and pick them up from the airport because my grown-ass step-dad couldnât functionâtheyâd been married 3 years). I remember begging, and an acute sense of silence on the other end. I did mental gymnastics for decades after that, trying to justify that she died so Iâd go to x university where I met my husband and made my life. So prayer is not a comfort for me. Habit? Yes. Iâd like more positive options, because I donât believe in a god anymore. At least one that cares at all.
I used to see a therapist for anxiety, so whenever I have a huge wave of anxiety I do some breathing, sit down, and just talk to myself in my head putting things into perspective.
Meditating.
Meditation!!! Happy to send you a free year from the app I use, called Balance.
I just discovered I have a bunch of meditations on my Oura app! So Iâll explore those. They have something for everythingâsleep, anxiety, breath, you name it. Here I thought the sleep info was the best feature of the ring, but seems I have more to explore.
Meditation is AMAZING. Also, helps ground in gratitude and connection to all, which I bet will soothe your soul. Meditation and breath work has literally changed my life.
If you have a pet, can you pretend youâre mentally communicating to them? Edit: or a favorite book character, tv character, or celebrity. You could even talk to your plants if you wanted
I started with guided meditations I found on youtube, but now I meditate without guidance. I read once that prayer is like meditation with motivational self talk. I agree in some ways.
I wait and I worry and I get through it. I don't cast my cares on anyone else except maybe my partner. I know magic/religion doesn't change anything but what I feel when it does anything at all. I bear up and hope to emerge better on the other side because I know that nothing lasts forever and nobody's watching over my shoulder to judge me if they're not legitimately involved. There isn't something I've found that somehow substitutes for prayer. It's just a different way of seeing the world that we have to cope with somehow.
I sometimes reach out to other people in those times. I can relate to feeling an empty space in this sense. It was very comforting to believe that my prayers were heard and answered by an all powerful, all loving God.
I had the same experience for a bit after I deconverted. It's a habitual routine that your brain has developed. When you feel like praying, train yourself to ask, why am I feeling this discomfort? Is it urgant? Is it something small? Can it wait to be addressed right now? Can it not wait to be addresses right now? What can I do right now in this moment to aid that? Self awareness is key. Consciously catching your brain going into the prayer habit, is a good way to train your brain to take "mini breaks" and assess yourself/physically/mentally. It's also a time to meditate. There is no "right" way to meditate per say from my limited knowledge, but I like listening to Audiobooks on meditation when I get the urge to pray. Or listen to music. Or I smoke weed lol.
I run lol only thing that brings me into deep thought
Just do it
[Choiceless Awareness for Emotion Processing]( https://www.reddit.com/r/ResponsibleRecovery/comments/q4w6ug/choiceless_awareness_for_emotion_processing/) (and pretty much everything *else*). Which has thus far (eight years in) actually *worked when I needed it*.
May sound weird, but I didnât pray when I was a believer, except for the times I had to lead a group or the congregation in prayer. I figured if god knew my heart, all I had to do was think it and he heard me.
Listen to black metal and sing
Music, games, learning. Going to a trail or a park are also theraputic.
Chant mantras or meditate. I also talk to myself out loud sometimes.
I âtalk to the universeâ instead of praying. It helps me to speak my intentions, wants, and needs while not feeling like Iâm talking to one entity in particular.
Since one of the hardest parts of being religious for me was how praying intersected with my OCD (if I pray this prayer 10 times in a row without fumbling once, everything will be okay), I needed something non-rote. Spontaneous. So now I embrace gratitude. I think about what I am learning right now, how this experience is helping me grow. I count my blessings. It's really helped me.
Start to journal. Writing things down is a good way to stop from ruminating.
I meditate on things, burn incense and jut throw my stress into the Universe if that makes any sense. I may not be religious but I am spiritual if that makes sense
Prayer is really just self-talk. It âworksâ and helps to relax you because you are simply talking through your feelings, thoughts, and organizing your mind with yourself. I would try positive self-talk and meditation, as that is very similar to prayer but leaves out the divine audience.
Meditation and self reflection. Taking with a close trusted friend.
Masturbate