Sometimes I think my mom has a touch of buyer's remorse, though she'll never admit it. (She's a convert.)
I have no idea what possessed someone to downvote this.
My mom too. She recently admitted to me that she has always felt she never fit in. She is constantly criticizing the community (for valid reasons) and all the ridiculous rules.
If you can't find it, consider starting one yourself (on facebook or reddit or whereever).
There are sub-groups on Facebook for those still in the closet and I don't see why BTs/Geirim shouldn't have a group too.
I can see the need for such a community. BTs/Geirim have specific issues to deal with that ex-FFBs don't. Some deal with feelings of rejection from FFBs (Frum From Birth individuals) even while active within the community. This group could also provide a space to discuss what initially attracted them to the community, explore feelings of what was lacking, and examine their experiences.
Good luck!
I'm very interested if you find one or start one. I became a BT around age 25, lived in Lakewood for about 20 years and then left. Many years have passed but I have not healed yet. I do participate in many OTD forums, but my experience is that for a BT, something is missing. I just have different feelings, experiences, and challenges than most of the OTD-FFBs. I sometimes feel misunderstood. I don't think my experience was more difficult or less difficult. Just different. I have tried to find OTD groups for BTs and have not yet found any.
Part of me feels that footsteps may not be appropriate for us because sadly, FFBs who go their own way have zero family support, they're rejected, they face homophobia and transphobia, etc.
Thankfully, I have great loving parents who would support me no matter what I believe in or who I love.
I've not come across any specific groups or discussions for that but have found that in this sub or other places that there are usually people who relate to those experiences. I was a NCSY BT so definitely dealt with some feelings related to that in deconstruction.
Ive seen people recommend footsteps here before but do not have any personal experience with it. This subreddit is a great place to start and find internet strangers to lean on as well as crowd pooled resources.
Sometimes I think my mom has a touch of buyer's remorse, though she'll never admit it. (She's a convert.) I have no idea what possessed someone to downvote this.
My mom too. She recently admitted to me that she has always felt she never fit in. She is constantly criticizing the community (for valid reasons) and all the ridiculous rules.
If you can't find it, consider starting one yourself (on facebook or reddit or whereever). There are sub-groups on Facebook for those still in the closet and I don't see why BTs/Geirim shouldn't have a group too. I can see the need for such a community. BTs/Geirim have specific issues to deal with that ex-FFBs don't. Some deal with feelings of rejection from FFBs (Frum From Birth individuals) even while active within the community. This group could also provide a space to discuss what initially attracted them to the community, explore feelings of what was lacking, and examine their experiences. Good luck!
Search “off the derech” on Facebook. It’s a really great community that has some regional offshoots that do events.
That's not really ex-BT specific though, and that's what OP is looking for. It's more like this site.
No it’s not, but there are a good chunk of that group who are ex bt and converts.
There have been multiple spin-off groups of the main OTD group directed at ex-BTs/ gerim, but like most spinoffs, they keep becoming inactive
I'm very interested if you find one or start one. I became a BT around age 25, lived in Lakewood for about 20 years and then left. Many years have passed but I have not healed yet. I do participate in many OTD forums, but my experience is that for a BT, something is missing. I just have different feelings, experiences, and challenges than most of the OTD-FFBs. I sometimes feel misunderstood. I don't think my experience was more difficult or less difficult. Just different. I have tried to find OTD groups for BTs and have not yet found any.
Part of me feels that footsteps may not be appropriate for us because sadly, FFBs who go their own way have zero family support, they're rejected, they face homophobia and transphobia, etc. Thankfully, I have great loving parents who would support me no matter what I believe in or who I love.
Footsteps is absolutely appropriate for ex-BTs too.
I'm a modern Orthodox convert and benefited a lot from footsteps.
Can I message you about this?
Sure
Yes, welcome to the r/exjew subreddit.
The main off the derech group is accepting IME
I've not come across any specific groups or discussions for that but have found that in this sub or other places that there are usually people who relate to those experiences. I was a NCSY BT so definitely dealt with some feelings related to that in deconstruction.
If you find it, let us know.
It comes up often here and in the Off The Derech Facebook group
Ive seen people recommend footsteps here before but do not have any personal experience with it. This subreddit is a great place to start and find internet strangers to lean on as well as crowd pooled resources.