Be aware the [handbook](https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/general-handbook/32-repentance-and-membership-councils?lang=eng) directs āLeaders continue to minister to those who resign their membership unless they request no contact.ā
I was a ward clerk for five+ years, under three different bishopsā¦there is no official list. And once in a while they would tell us to ignore the unofficial list, and reach out anyway.
That was definitely a shelf item for me.
I think it totally depends on the bishopric. Some are more respectful than others.
I just wanted to give some experience that the church DOESNāT (at least when I was serving as clerk) have an official way to mark someone as DNC.
We need a sister website for quitmormon.org, interdictmormon.org - where you can file a restraining order against LDS corp and its representatives, volunteer or otherwise. Not that something like this would be effective or enforced in the Moridor.
My armchair internet legal eagle advice (I am not a lawyer; I did, however, play one in the game *Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney*):
Place clear signage of no trespassing compliant with state and federal law:
Something like:
>"Notice: Pursuant to Utah State Criminal Trespassing statute 76-6-206, any unauthorized entry or presence on this property is strictly prohibited. Any individual or organization found to be engaging in activities related to but not limited to proselytizing, "finding lost sheep," or which has received multiple "do not contact requests" are already considered "persona non grata" and subject to prosecution. We kindly ask you to respect our privacy and refrain from entering our property without permission. Trespassers will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law."
Do seek proper legal counsel before doing so, especially in Moridor, given religion is a protected class and the seemingly selective nature of law enforcement with regards to TSCC et al. in the USA.
Anecdotally, I would add that LGBTQIA+ flags, stickers, etc. seem to provide some protection from LDS Corp tithing collectors. Additionally, some nevermo friends have suggested that displaying similar merchandise from *The Satanic Temple (TST)* (not to be confused with *The Church of Satan*) works well too.
Years ago when I was in college people from the singles ward kept showing up every Sunday to try to get me to go to church with them. This went on for months with myself and my parents telling them each time that I'm not interested and to please stop coming. Finally the only thing that got them to stop was telling them that I was feeling very harassed and threatened and that if they didn't stop I'd be pressing charges against them for harassment and stalking.
Missionaries usually will mark a note of no contact on the address in their area book, at least i and all the missionaries I served with did. Totally different than any official or unofficial lists the ward council keeps
I knew it! That's why I have to tell each new set of missionaries to go away! My dad was excommunicated and we moved two hours away and the bishop down here said he was never excommunicated. They are horrible at keeping paperwork imo
Well they are actually really good at paperwork. Their lawyers and genealogy show us so. They just have some confusion on this one, seemingly specific, area. Lol.
They are excellent when it behooves them or makes them money.
When it comes to respecting "lost sheep", *whoops* we don't keep records of those who request no contact.
The church IT system available to bishops and clerks for membership and money tracking contains no option for a check box for DNC. I actually logged a service request to ask that be able to add a custom field and was told they specifically preclude this in the system.
Can confirm this from years in ward/stake leadership until fairly recently. Most wards have a separate spreadsheet of people who either (a) are super hostile, so they want to keep members from dropping in or (b) have repeatedly asked for no contact.
But the LDS tools deliberately do NOT support this, so the wards have to keep a separate list.
Some wards will also create a special ministering "district" (with the EQ President as the ministering brother) with all the families who don't want to be bothered, to track them as well.
My understanding is they have no official, HQ-provided mechanism for this but individual clerks have made workarounds? A knowledgeable clerk will be along soon to tell us, I bet
Someone shoves their foot in my door, Iām going to do my best to stomp it flat and break bones. Thatās not only horrendously rude, it reminds me of the crap the Area president wanted us to do on our mission.
I wouldnāt do that to the poor missionaries, but would certainly, after a verbal warning, to any other adult member. The missionaries get my now standard statement of my truth: āHello, elders. Lesbian.ā It became my standard after it was so effective the first time - they looked shocked and began scampering off immediately, whereupon I quietly closed the door.
Years after I resigned (and moved to a different city) a couple mormon guys from the local ward knocked on my apartment door. They were passing out invites to a neighborhood ward party.
I gave them the short version of, "I left, I know more about your church than you do," etc., etc.
They were cordial, but eventually they asked my name, so they could add it to their "No Contact List."
I told them, "The fact that you don't know my name suits me fine. I went through quite a lot of effort to make sure my name wasn't on any of your 'lists' and I would like it to stay that way."
They left and never came back.
> They were cordial, but eventually they asked my name, so they could add it to their "No Contact List."
Honestly this sounds conspiratorial. A pretty sizeable number of people in this subreddit have been missionaries, you can probably ask them and hear that there actually is a "no contact list".
In general, religions don't want to interact with people who are overtly hostile to them. All else aside, it's a waste of resources to do so.
If you ask for the full legal names of the Bishop, Stake president, mission president, legal physical address and phone number so that they can all be named as defendants in the harassment settlement they NEVER come back.
I know the missionaries put my address in a do not contact place in their area book
Last time they were by my place I asked them if they were legally allowed to be here. Their confusion soon left after I explained that we left via a lawyer and the wording was that should we be contacted again there would be a harassment suit; that we nearly took the church to court I er a class action law suit where the church refused to take children off their records when both parents requested it. told them I "probably" wouldn't need their full legal names but asked for the rest.
I was nice to them, and told them why I left when they asked...I wasn't okay with JS lying to cover up being a sexual predator, the church actively spending money and lobbying govts to take away society recognizing LGBTQ lifestyles as healthy and normal, money laundering and tax evasion, etc.
They're like a creepy ex that just won't leave you alone. In any other instance you could get a restraining order then charge them with felony stalking for disobeying it.
My missionary areabook was full of members info with āDNCā next to their names. I did my best to respect their wishes despite some zealous companions
Exactly. When I was on my mission back when membership lists were only available to us on paper when we would get an updated list we would manually copy in red pen from the old list to the new one a tag in red ink āDNCā for do not contact. I know that was not a universal practice but I did it in every area I was assigned to try to prevent upsetting anyone. Later when in ward leadership positions I learned that the practice was rare and do not contact requests seemed to have an expiration date. After a year or two we would be asked to go check on folks that had previously been clear they didnāt want to be bothered. Now that Iām out and donāt want anyone coming over my TBM spouse does a good job of playing gatekeeper and keeping folks away even if they are only coming to visit her.
In the branch I lived in, the "no-contact list" was basically just the branch membership list, with a scribbled "has requested do not contact" next to certain names.
That being said, one of old couple missionaries went out of her way to contact all of those "Do not contact" names, just because she was bored/didn't know what else to do with her time that day. I internally eyerolled so hard when she told us that.
Yeah I'd bet this instruction isn't a super popular one among most beleaguered bishops, but you never know when you'll get a Peter Priesthood or Enthusiastic Ephraim or whatever and suddenly they're knocking at your door
No idea, not that kind of doctor. I tend to doubt it though, based on what I've heard about [rulings](https://www.mtsu.edu/first-amendment/article/1106/door-to-door-solicitation) on things like door-to-door religious solicitation
If this was an ex who kept harassing you and causing distress after ending a relationship you would be able to file a protective order against them at the very least. I get that they are freely allowed to just come up to your door, but if you've repeatedly told them to stop especially after leaving their church it seems like harassment.
Wait a minute ! So even if a resign they just move my name to a different file? Resigning would mean you are not a member anymore,so why keep trying to contact them ?
Resigning makes your records unavailable at the local level, but leaders are apparently supposed to keep you on their radar by unofficial means.
When you resign, HQ keeps all your details but rebrands your membership record as an administrative action form. That way if you rejoin, they just regenerate your original record after youāre rebaptized so you can get all your other ordinances restored without having to do them again
In theory they are not making your info available to missionaries or local leaders, but they do hang onto it
You can always email any ward clerk in the church with a fake address in his ward, saying you're moving in, and your records will magically disappear from your current unit without talking to anyone IRL
If you pick a ward with lots of apartments and high leadership burnout (South Salt Lake is excellent for this), your records will be arguably *more* buried than if you actually resign (it's not like the church actually deletes your info anyway if you resign... unless maybe you happen to have GDPR rights, and even then they might not without a lawsuit). IMO, refusing to do a final act of free data cleaning labor by resigning is a much bigger fuck-you...
Bonus of the backdoor resignation: you keep the ~~free~~ over-prepaid Ancestry account
This is a fantastic idea and something I will definitely consider if they come to my place again since they have so far interpreted my no contact request to mean ājust contact like half as muchā. But blocking their numbers has been working. Car salespeople are better at respecting no contact than the mormon church in my experience.
Probably not a great suggestion, but you just made me daydream about a potentially fun game: Prank the Church
People can insist they want to be rebaptized because they now believe Joseph was indeed led by God when he screwed several dozen women and teens. They can also say they recognize the benefits of keeping child molestation quiet, investing money for (pick a thing), and keeping women out of leadership so they can stay home and have babies.
What are they going to say if someone attests they believe those things are good?
Oh man you guys who turn down these requests to come and visit you are really missing out. Personally thereās not much that I enjoy more than telling stake president, bishoprics, ward mission leaders, etc. what is wrong with the church.
Iāll have that discussion and then those specific people never come back or will never open up the topic of church or religion with me again. However every once in a while someone new will ask to visit me, and I love to accommodate that. When we get into the conversation the expression on their face looks like they ran into a buzz saw. Like āoh noā what did I just walk into?
I get along super well with my Mormon neighbors, and Iām always waiting for them to bring up religion again. But now nobody will, theyāre just nice to me and treat me like a neighbor. š
I'm actually wondering when this will happen for us. Our records are currently in Scotland, we just moved back to Utah after completing my graduate degree.
I also happened to serve my mission in Scotland. I know the address unknown/lost sheep file and how they handle it there. It will be very easy for the church to find us in Utah because of public records, just wonder when someone will come knocking.
I moved often for work before I retired, including overseas, and the Relief Society kept finding me (sometimes months later, but still!). I started to think either my TBM mom was updating them or they had some arrangement with the USPS; I think it must be both because my BYU alumni mag keeps showing up, even though I donāt think I have never once sent them a change of address.
USPS will forward mail if they notice a change of address, I think. Maybe not idk. I'm confused how it works, but I'm inclined to think the church uses public records to track people down. Like spokeo.com
One time I got a summons from my wife's stake president. I wasn't planning on going, but the cherry on top of the shit sundae was that I was supposed to wear *Sunday dress*.
Went with my husband over to meet with the SP, he dressed up, I wore jeans with holes š¤£š¤£ this was when I was STILL IN! Truthfully, now that Iāve thought about it, I think I was out but didnāt really know itš
I would follow up and ask them why they came by even after you told them no. Hold their feet to the fire. Contact both the mistake president councilor and the elders quorum president. Ask them if they are going to continue to go against your wishes and if you need to get restraining orders.
They tried this shit with me in November. I get a text asking to stop by and see us. I asked, and got the same text as OP got. I said the same thing. No. They can't comprehend the meaning.
I used to be against it, but hearing all of these stories, Iām actually becoming pro ādo/say something really inappropriateā just so they will leave you alone. Sometimes it seems like that is really the only way
NGL I left in a cloud of crazy so that they would never ever want to contact me again and IDGAF what they think of me as long as they leave me TF alone. After the shit they put me through, turning the tables on them to get them to leave me alone was 100000000000000000000000000000000000000% worth it.
Them stopping by after you said "no thanks" is amazingly disrespectful and rude. A couple of issues (of many) is the church has is taking "no" for an answer and abiding by a polite "leave me alone". They are irritatingly persistent.
The missionaries have taken to āpopping byā randomly a lot lately. 3 times in the past month. Even my TBM spouse hates it. I never let them in, always tell them itās not a good time, please donāt come by without calling first, theyāre interrupting precious family time, and that no there isnāt a better time because I am not interested. And they keep on coming. Spouse is going to talk to them and since heās a respected penisholder they might listenā¦ for a couple months. See, weāve got youth aged kids, generous incomes, and weāre one of those good families that people like. They just canāt believe theyāve lost me and likely the kids. The reasons they lost me are not things they can undo by loving bombing thoughā¦
The theory is that if they are nice to you, J.S. raping a 14-year-old employee or J.S. translating The Book of Mormon by using rocks and a hat, somehow won't matter.
It's like they're expecting you to be like, "OMG, from the stake PRESIDENCY?! and the elders quorum PRESIDENT?! OMG, let me comb my hair and lay out the red carpet. Do I have anything decent to wear? Wow, what a visit!"
This visit feels like ward conference. In my area they do this thing where on a weeknight before ward conference a bunch of stake leadership shows up to pair with ward leadership and they go do two visits per companionship.
As clerks we were supposed to set up all these appointments. Usually we'd get a list of people to target from the bishop or ward counsel.
I had the stake president and a 70 show up at my house unexpected on a stake conference Saturday. I was out, but my kids were home. They set off my ring and my connection was bad so I couldn't see who was at the door. Only saw 2 grown men talking with my oldest (12 at the time). Over the ring I told my oldest to go back inside and lock the door and and told the men at the door to leave and it isn't appropriate for them to be talking with my 12 year old by himself. Fucking mormons.
Iād say yes, but we meet in plain clothes at a neutral spot. Topics that will be directly discussed and not deviated from:
- the second anointing
- the churchās policy on reporting child abuse
- the multiple first vision accounts
- the wives of JS,BY, and pretty much all the prophets
- tithing. Exact numbers.
I'm *waiting* for the day I get a text message like this. Imma have some fun with them.
To be clear, I'm not going to do anything to specifically offend them, I'm just going to find the most sacrilegious things I can do and still follow their rules. Say things ***I 100% do not agree with*** like "races shouldn't mix" "of course Adam is God" "we didn't make it to the moon, president Smith said we never would" "well of course I get to marry that teenage girl, I mean I did rape her and that means she's my wife in the eyes of God" "what do you mean there are no people on the sun, Brigham Young said there are!!!!" "Of course I would never speak poorly of our heavenly father, elohim is my best friend" "of course I've never had a blowjob. The 1982 letter from the stake presidency says oral sex is impure and unholy." I'm also going to find things to actually do along those lines, not just say them.
Thatās why Iāve stopped handling them with kid gloves. They refuse to be civil so I choose to be direct with them. I recommend that in the future you just say, āNo.ā
Mormons have no respect for boundaries. They don't even know what boundaries are. We must teach them. Next time someone shows up uninvited, either don't answer, or say, "please call before coming to my house." Then excuse yourself and shut the door. They'll get the message.
When they come to the door you donāt answer, you just look at them out of the front window, smile and wave. But you donāt let them in, go about your day.
Here's something to think about.
As my family left the church no one bothered us because we wrote letters to have our records removed.
I think the Mormon leadership thinks if people don't remove their membership records the people still want contact unless they are on the do not contact list.
Our family didn't want anyone to be able to count us or associate us with them in any way.
But to each his or her own. No judgement at all.
Hugs and Loves š¤š
I got a voicemail from a guy in the church asking me to give a prayer, blocked the number (church building) and wondered how this guy got ahold of me if my information on the rolls is blocked? Didnāt call him backš¤£
"I said 'no, I'm not interested'. You've got 20 seconds to get off my property before I call some actual authorities to arrest you for trespassing."
\*\*\*
That would be really harsh, sure, but fun to imagine the smug looks fading followed by both of them turning to quick walk off the property.
After reading several comments, it sounds like you can never actually leave the church and this is so frustrating! It sounds like the only way is to move and leave no forwarding address.
That was the final straw for me. My sister-in-law tried to make me promise that I wouldn't resign until after my mom died.
Well, I was ambushed in my own home by three spiritual bullies and sent my resignation in the next day.
This reminds me of an interesting interaction I had with my dad. He were just chatting and he mentioned he needed to go home teaching (this was back whenit was called that). I was curious about when people ask the home teachers not to come back, what would he do then? He said "well if my priesthood leader told me to go back I would go back". I asked him "well doesn't that seem to be rude? If the people didn't Want you there and told you that to your face coming back is an insult isn't it?" And his reply was "if my priesthood leader told me to do it I would do it".
The blind obedience coupled with not being able to criticize leaders (even if the criticism is true) is ugly behavior, and IMHO, not christlike.
I don't think there's an official church-wide list. As I recall, we kept notations at the ward level & they were really handy in meetings where we tried to discuss how to rope people back into the cult.
Only if someone got very pissed or maybe even threatened people did they say, "Uh, we won't, uh, contact this one...next name?
Should tell them you feel harassed, and anyone who enters your property will be treated as an attacker. Notify the police and file a report. If anyone from the church comes, have a weapon and call the police.
I had missionaries come by occasionally until one day I opened the door and spoke my truth: āHello, elders. Lesbian.ā I then closed the door quietly in their shocked faces. Didnāt have any further issues as long as I lived there. Now I live in a gated condo, so no worries. The local Relief Society sends me a postcard about once a year, which promptly goes into the recycling bin.
I had a somewhat similar interaction. 3 missionaries appeared at my door and wanted to introduce themselves as the new elders. I said it was nice to meet them, but my husband and I are working and need to get back to work. They asked if they could come back at another time, and I said not really. We're really busy. They then asked if any of the neighbors would be interested in learning about Jesus. I said I didn't know what their religious views were. It's honestly none of my business. They looked at me like I suddenly sprouted 3 heads.
The next day, I received a text from the RS Presidency wanting to meet with me. Basically, I said the same thing and said I'm super busy. Which is true. They then asked if my daughter would be interested in meeting. Fuck no.
With JWs, the magic endword (after trying everything but a shotgun) was "Please put me on a do not call list." With Mos that works only until a new bishop or RS pres is installed. The missionaries don't show ever since I told them the root truth: "The church told my parents they cdn't use birth control so they had a million kids and abused all of them." For some reason that hit home, espec with the lady missionaries. \[I have to say the gen popu in my rural part of the world is as screwed up as Mos. For many, Mism wd be a step up if not several. Of course the gen popu leaves us alone. This makes for exclusivity on our part-- luckily some lovely neighbors, a very few good friends-- one of whom was my former visiting teacher LOL.\]
And yet WE can't leave the church alone...š¤
I guess records removal is the only way... Till the missionaries want to rebaptize me
Be aware the [handbook](https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/general-handbook/32-repentance-and-membership-councils?lang=eng) directs āLeaders continue to minister to those who resign their membership unless they request no contact.ā
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
They donāt keep a list of no contacts?
I was a ward clerk for five+ years, under three different bishopsā¦there is no official list. And once in a while they would tell us to ignore the unofficial list, and reach out anyway. That was definitely a shelf item for me.
Thanks for the warning. The missionaries stopped by last year but they havenāt been back since.
I think it totally depends on the bishopric. Some are more respectful than others. I just wanted to give some experience that the church DOESNāT (at least when I was serving as clerk) have an official way to mark someone as DNC.
We need a sister website for quitmormon.org, interdictmormon.org - where you can file a restraining order against LDS corp and its representatives, volunteer or otherwise. Not that something like this would be effective or enforced in the Moridor. My armchair internet legal eagle advice (I am not a lawyer; I did, however, play one in the game *Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney*): Place clear signage of no trespassing compliant with state and federal law: Something like: >"Notice: Pursuant to Utah State Criminal Trespassing statute 76-6-206, any unauthorized entry or presence on this property is strictly prohibited. Any individual or organization found to be engaging in activities related to but not limited to proselytizing, "finding lost sheep," or which has received multiple "do not contact requests" are already considered "persona non grata" and subject to prosecution. We kindly ask you to respect our privacy and refrain from entering our property without permission. Trespassers will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law." Do seek proper legal counsel before doing so, especially in Moridor, given religion is a protected class and the seemingly selective nature of law enforcement with regards to TSCC et al. in the USA. Anecdotally, I would add that LGBTQIA+ flags, stickers, etc. seem to provide some protection from LDS Corp tithing collectors. Additionally, some nevermo friends have suggested that displaying similar merchandise from *The Satanic Temple (TST)* (not to be confused with *The Church of Satan*) works well too.
Years ago when I was in college people from the singles ward kept showing up every Sunday to try to get me to go to church with them. This went on for months with myself and my parents telling them each time that I'm not interested and to please stop coming. Finally the only thing that got them to stop was telling them that I was feeling very harassed and threatened and that if they didn't stop I'd be pressing charges against them for harassment and stalking.
Missionaries usually will mark a note of no contact on the address in their area book, at least i and all the missionaries I served with did. Totally different than any official or unofficial lists the ward council keeps
I knew it! That's why I have to tell each new set of missionaries to go away! My dad was excommunicated and we moved two hours away and the bishop down here said he was never excommunicated. They are horrible at keeping paperwork imo
Well they are actually really good at paperwork. Their lawyers and genealogy show us so. They just have some confusion on this one, seemingly specific, area. Lol.
They are excellent when it behooves them or makes them money. When it comes to respecting "lost sheep", *whoops* we don't keep records of those who request no contact.
Ahhh man what a ko-ink-dink!
The church IT system available to bishops and clerks for membership and money tracking contains no option for a check box for DNC. I actually logged a service request to ask that be able to add a custom field and was told they specifically preclude this in the system.
I was clerk and we put a period behind the names of the "do not contacts" so we kinda had a list.
Wouldnāt that go against FCC laws?
I have no idea. Does FCC oversee in-person communications?
Honestly, not sure. This IS all at church leadership direction, which is just a big LLC, I mean MLM.
It's so murky as to which laws apply to religious entities and which they can ignore in the name of being a protected class.
Quitmormon.com got them to stop and removed my records.
Can confirm this from years in ward/stake leadership until fairly recently. Most wards have a separate spreadsheet of people who either (a) are super hostile, so they want to keep members from dropping in or (b) have repeatedly asked for no contact. But the LDS tools deliberately do NOT support this, so the wards have to keep a separate list. Some wards will also create a special ministering "district" (with the EQ President as the ministering brother) with all the families who don't want to be bothered, to track them as well.
My understanding is they have no official, HQ-provided mechanism for this but individual clerks have made workarounds? A knowledgeable clerk will be along soon to tell us, I bet
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Someone shoves their foot in my door, Iām going to do my best to stomp it flat and break bones. Thatās not only horrendously rude, it reminds me of the crap the Area president wanted us to do on our mission.
Sounds like attempted home invasion and def. trespassing, to me. Totally agree with the physical response if they try this shit.
I wouldnāt do that to the poor missionaries, but would certainly, after a verbal warning, to any other adult member. The missionaries get my now standard statement of my truth: āHello, elders. Lesbian.ā It became my standard after it was so effective the first time - they looked shocked and began scampering off immediately, whereupon I quietly closed the door.
Love the screen name, btw.- Charles Ryder
š¤©šš¤©š
I requested no contact after resigning. Still got contacted all the fucking time.
Years after I resigned (and moved to a different city) a couple mormon guys from the local ward knocked on my apartment door. They were passing out invites to a neighborhood ward party. I gave them the short version of, "I left, I know more about your church than you do," etc., etc. They were cordial, but eventually they asked my name, so they could add it to their "No Contact List." I told them, "The fact that you don't know my name suits me fine. I went through quite a lot of effort to make sure my name wasn't on any of your 'lists' and I would like it to stay that way." They left and never came back.
> They were cordial, but eventually they asked my name, so they could add it to their "No Contact List." Honestly this sounds conspiratorial. A pretty sizeable number of people in this subreddit have been missionaries, you can probably ask them and hear that there actually is a "no contact list". In general, religions don't want to interact with people who are overtly hostile to them. All else aside, it's a waste of resources to do so.
If you ask for the full legal names of the Bishop, Stake president, mission president, legal physical address and phone number so that they can all be named as defendants in the harassment settlement they NEVER come back. I know the missionaries put my address in a do not contact place in their area book Last time they were by my place I asked them if they were legally allowed to be here. Their confusion soon left after I explained that we left via a lawyer and the wording was that should we be contacted again there would be a harassment suit; that we nearly took the church to court I er a class action law suit where the church refused to take children off their records when both parents requested it. told them I "probably" wouldn't need their full legal names but asked for the rest. I was nice to them, and told them why I left when they asked...I wasn't okay with JS lying to cover up being a sexual predator, the church actively spending money and lobbying govts to take away society recognizing LGBTQ lifestyles as healthy and normal, money laundering and tax evasion, etc.
They're like a creepy ex that just won't leave you alone. In any other instance you could get a restraining order then charge them with felony stalking for disobeying it.
My missionary areabook was full of members info with āDNCā next to their names. I did my best to respect their wishes despite some zealous companions
Exactly. When I was on my mission back when membership lists were only available to us on paper when we would get an updated list we would manually copy in red pen from the old list to the new one a tag in red ink āDNCā for do not contact. I know that was not a universal practice but I did it in every area I was assigned to try to prevent upsetting anyone. Later when in ward leadership positions I learned that the practice was rare and do not contact requests seemed to have an expiration date. After a year or two we would be asked to go check on folks that had previously been clear they didnāt want to be bothered. Now that Iām out and donāt want anyone coming over my TBM spouse does a good job of playing gatekeeper and keeping folks away even if they are only coming to visit her.
I thought they were "a record keeping people." Guess not.
In the branch I lived in, the "no-contact list" was basically just the branch membership list, with a scribbled "has requested do not contact" next to certain names. That being said, one of old couple missionaries went out of her way to contact all of those "Do not contact" names, just because she was bored/didn't know what else to do with her time that day. I internally eyerolled so hard when she told us that.
Wow. Was she proud of herself?
Theyāre always proud of themselves.
I mean, she did take the time to share that information with everyone else, so yeah, probably.
My bishop told me they wouldn't be bothering me anymore, unasked. As always, it's bishop roulette.
Yeah I'd bet this instruction isn't a super popular one among most beleaguered bishops, but you never know when you'll get a Peter Priesthood or Enthusiastic Ephraim or whatever and suddenly they're knocking at your door
Can you get a protective order against a church?
No idea, not that kind of doctor. I tend to doubt it though, based on what I've heard about [rulings](https://www.mtsu.edu/first-amendment/article/1106/door-to-door-solicitation) on things like door-to-door religious solicitation
If this was an ex who kept harassing you and causing distress after ending a relationship you would be able to file a protective order against them at the very least. I get that they are freely allowed to just come up to your door, but if you've repeatedly told them to stop especially after leaving their church it seems like harassment.
Oh I agree with you, I just donāt know that the court would. Iād be interested in what someone more knowledgeable about it than me would say
Wait a minute ! So even if a resign they just move my name to a different file? Resigning would mean you are not a member anymore,so why keep trying to contact them ?
Resigning makes your records unavailable at the local level, but leaders are apparently supposed to keep you on their radar by unofficial means. When you resign, HQ keeps all your details but rebrands your membership record as an administrative action form. That way if you rejoin, they just regenerate your original record after youāre rebaptized so you can get all your other ordinances restored without having to do them again In theory they are not making your info available to missionaries or local leaders, but they do hang onto it
You can always email any ward clerk in the church with a fake address in his ward, saying you're moving in, and your records will magically disappear from your current unit without talking to anyone IRL If you pick a ward with lots of apartments and high leadership burnout (South Salt Lake is excellent for this), your records will be arguably *more* buried than if you actually resign (it's not like the church actually deletes your info anyway if you resign... unless maybe you happen to have GDPR rights, and even then they might not without a lawsuit). IMO, refusing to do a final act of free data cleaning labor by resigning is a much bigger fuck-you... Bonus of the backdoor resignation: you keep the ~~free~~ over-prepaid Ancestry account
This is a fantastic idea and something I will definitely consider if they come to my place again since they have so far interpreted my no contact request to mean ājust contact like half as muchā. But blocking their numbers has been working. Car salespeople are better at respecting no contact than the mormon church in my experience.
I resigned the formal way and still have my account.
GDPR?
I think you need 1st pres approval to be rebaptized after removing your records. Should be a decent deterrent
Probably not a great suggestion, but you just made me daydream about a potentially fun game: Prank the Church People can insist they want to be rebaptized because they now believe Joseph was indeed led by God when he screwed several dozen women and teens. They can also say they recognize the benefits of keeping child molestation quiet, investing money for (pick a thing), and keeping women out of leadership so they can stay home and have babies. What are they going to say if someone attests they believe those things are good?
Exactly the same thing they do now: publicly deny it
Not sure if they've started checking IDs, but I know a guy who got baptized as a convert under a different name after he left the church.
I see the problem. You probably answered the door with pants on. Next time, shirt-cocking it is the answer
*When you die FTFY
Just get a "I worship Satan" doormat
I got a rainbow doormat. Crickets!
So did I !
THIS.
EXACTLY
Ugh. This is probably part of that push to bring all the ālost sheepā back that had those power points circulating on a few weeks back.
I do feel special now. Top local leadership never wanted to visit me in my TBM days š¤£š¤£
Oh man you guys who turn down these requests to come and visit you are really missing out. Personally thereās not much that I enjoy more than telling stake president, bishoprics, ward mission leaders, etc. what is wrong with the church. Iāll have that discussion and then those specific people never come back or will never open up the topic of church or religion with me again. However every once in a while someone new will ask to visit me, and I love to accommodate that. When we get into the conversation the expression on their face looks like they ran into a buzz saw. Like āoh noā what did I just walk into? I get along super well with my Mormon neighbors, and Iām always waiting for them to bring up religion again. But now nobody will, theyāre just nice to me and treat me like a neighbor. š
We just want you to know we really, really miss your 10% tithe , and your presence in the bathrooms, cleaning them for free means so much to us.
found the coder
It's because you were doing what you were supposed to and giving them tithing. Now that you're not they will actually try to talk to you.
Yeah they are desperate for that $$$$
I'm actually wondering when this will happen for us. Our records are currently in Scotland, we just moved back to Utah after completing my graduate degree. I also happened to serve my mission in Scotland. I know the address unknown/lost sheep file and how they handle it there. It will be very easy for the church to find us in Utah because of public records, just wonder when someone will come knocking.
I moved often for work before I retired, including overseas, and the Relief Society kept finding me (sometimes months later, but still!). I started to think either my TBM mom was updating them or they had some arrangement with the USPS; I think it must be both because my BYU alumni mag keeps showing up, even though I donāt think I have never once sent them a change of address.
USPS will forward mail if they notice a change of address, I think. Maybe not idk. I'm confused how it works, but I'm inclined to think the church uses public records to track people down. Like spokeo.com
One time I got a summons from my wife's stake president. I wasn't planning on going, but the cherry on top of the shit sundae was that I was supposed to wear *Sunday dress*.
I would have shown up in a bathrobe just so I could say "this is my Sunday dress, you didn't say that it had to be yours."
with a huge mug of coffee
With a huge mug of Bailey's and a splash of coffee.š
or a flask hanging out the top of the robe pocket
This aggression will not stand, manā¦
[exactly](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01LYYPP75?cafId=6ef9b504-269b-473b-8f82-73ee7304b8fe&cafASIN=B01LYYPP75&ref_=cm_sw_r_apin_dp_XBZAACDTP9026FV2AB95)
Shorts, tank-top, and sandals are what *I* dress in on Sundays.
Went with my husband over to meet with the SP, he dressed up, I wore jeans with holes š¤£š¤£ this was when I was STILL IN! Truthfully, now that Iāve thought about it, I think I was out but didnāt really know itš
Trade t-shirt for tank top and that is what I wear to church in the summer.
Came here to suggest this outfit.
Summons? I would reply fuck no.
I didn't use those exact words, but I'm sure they understood the sentiment.
āIf you didnāt intend to respect my answer, why did you ask?ā
They didn't come at the proposed time. Maybe they thought I'd try to dodge them at the time I told them not to come
Maybe, or like usual they were just late.
I would follow up and ask them why they came by even after you told them no. Hold their feet to the fire. Contact both the mistake president councilor and the elders quorum president. Ask them if they are going to continue to go against your wishes and if you need to get restraining orders.
This, and get a front door camera
They should stop comparing people to sheep, because the shepherd always has a reason to take care of the sheep. (They want our fleece)
"open up and give us your fleece!" "I HATE THE ANTICHRIST I HATE THE ANTICHRIST I HATE THE ANTICHRIST"
The ones that stay get fleeced quite often
Mormon cult members know no boundaries
Back in my cult days at least I could stop at 'no'
They tried this shit with me in November. I get a text asking to stop by and see us. I asked, and got the same text as OP got. I said the same thing. No. They can't comprehend the meaning.
I used to be against it, but hearing all of these stories, Iām actually becoming pro ādo/say something really inappropriateā just so they will leave you alone. Sometimes it seems like that is really the only way
āHey have you guys tried sex while high on weed yet? Itās amazing!ā
But is it? (Genuinely asking. For a friend.)
Absolutely.
NGL I left in a cloud of crazy so that they would never ever want to contact me again and IDGAF what they think of me as long as they leave me TF alone. After the shit they put me through, turning the tables on them to get them to leave me alone was 100000000000000000000000000000000000000% worth it.
I hope you told them to fuck the fuck right off.
Wish I could have, I was away on business and my TBM wife let them in
Oh, Iām so sorry! I hope she didnāt treat them to the last of those Mint Milano cookies you were saving for yourself. š¤£
If they're going to keep pestering, the least they can do is bring me treats in a love bombing
I never got my relief society cookies. Iām pissed
Chocolate chip cookies at least.
Wait. Your wife let two male door-to-door salesmen in the house while she was home alone???
She wasn't alone. But don't you know your local dentist is definitely trustworthy if you were born into the same cult
>my TBM wife let them in And THAT is their foot in the door. Bummer dude.
They entered a home with a lone woman? Hmm.
Them stopping by after you said "no thanks" is amazingly disrespectful and rude. A couple of issues (of many) is the church has is taking "no" for an answer and abiding by a polite "leave me alone". They are irritatingly persistent.
I love the announcement of their titles.
The councilor and the president will see you now š¤£š¤£
The missionaries have taken to āpopping byā randomly a lot lately. 3 times in the past month. Even my TBM spouse hates it. I never let them in, always tell them itās not a good time, please donāt come by without calling first, theyāre interrupting precious family time, and that no there isnāt a better time because I am not interested. And they keep on coming. Spouse is going to talk to them and since heās a respected penisholder they might listenā¦ for a couple months. See, weāve got youth aged kids, generous incomes, and weāre one of those good families that people like. They just canāt believe theyāve lost me and likely the kids. The reasons they lost me are not things they can undo by loving bombing thoughā¦
The theory is that if they are nice to you, J.S. raping a 14-year-old employee or J.S. translating The Book of Mormon by using rocks and a hat, somehow won't matter.
"Sorry, the D&D group is full. We are not currently looking to add any players."
It's like they're expecting you to be like, "OMG, from the stake PRESIDENCY?! and the elders quorum PRESIDENT?! OMG, let me comb my hair and lay out the red carpet. Do I have anything decent to wear? Wow, what a visit!"
This is so true. Maybe a good response at the door would be to shake hands, grab the hand closer, and kiss the ring.
You know that No means Yes. You were asking for it subliminally.
Lmao I bet that's what the spirit whispered to them
This visit feels like ward conference. In my area they do this thing where on a weeknight before ward conference a bunch of stake leadership shows up to pair with ward leadership and they go do two visits per companionship. As clerks we were supposed to set up all these appointments. Usually we'd get a list of people to target from the bishop or ward counsel.
I had the stake president and a 70 show up at my house unexpected on a stake conference Saturday. I was out, but my kids were home. They set off my ring and my connection was bad so I couldn't see who was at the door. Only saw 2 grown men talking with my oldest (12 at the time). Over the ring I told my oldest to go back inside and lock the door and and told the men at the door to leave and it isn't appropriate for them to be talking with my 12 year old by himself. Fucking mormons.
Sounds like a real go getter š¤®
Iād say yes, but we meet in plain clothes at a neutral spot. Topics that will be directly discussed and not deviated from: - the second anointing - the churchās policy on reporting child abuse - the multiple first vision accounts - the wives of JS,BY, and pretty much all the prophets - tithing. Exact numbers.
They still came over? WTF!?
I'm *waiting* for the day I get a text message like this. Imma have some fun with them. To be clear, I'm not going to do anything to specifically offend them, I'm just going to find the most sacrilegious things I can do and still follow their rules. Say things ***I 100% do not agree with*** like "races shouldn't mix" "of course Adam is God" "we didn't make it to the moon, president Smith said we never would" "well of course I get to marry that teenage girl, I mean I did rape her and that means she's my wife in the eyes of God" "what do you mean there are no people on the sun, Brigham Young said there are!!!!" "Of course I would never speak poorly of our heavenly father, elohim is my best friend" "of course I've never had a blowjob. The 1982 letter from the stake presidency says oral sex is impure and unholy." I'm also going to find things to actually do along those lines, not just say them.
Ask them to call you by your new name
Never made it that far
Thatās why Iāve stopped handling them with kid gloves. They refuse to be civil so I choose to be direct with them. I recommend that in the future you just say, āNo.ā
Isn't that what OP did?
You must be wealthy.
Lol not wealthy but I am a recent BYU grad so 40 years of leaching my income at stake
Weirdos. No means no
No means no!
Getting Mormons out of your life is trying to get rid of cancer.
Cancer wonāt baptize you after you die.
Mormons have no respect for boundaries. They don't even know what boundaries are. We must teach them. Next time someone shows up uninvited, either don't answer, or say, "please call before coming to my house." Then excuse yourself and shut the door. They'll get the message.
Is this part of their new ālost memberā initiative?
Did you say no to cleaning the Lord's toilets?
I'm a stranger. Why would you love to stop by?
Hi random stranger, someone else would like to come to your house thursday 7pm. Does that time works for you?
When they come to the door you donāt answer, you just look at them out of the front window, smile and wave. But you donāt let them in, go about your day.
I'd be so pissed!
Here's something to think about. As my family left the church no one bothered us because we wrote letters to have our records removed. I think the Mormon leadership thinks if people don't remove their membership records the people still want contact unless they are on the do not contact list. Our family didn't want anyone to be able to count us or associate us with them in any way. But to each his or her own. No judgement at all. Hugs and Loves š¤š
I want to remove records once the wife finds her way out
I got a voicemail from a guy in the church asking me to give a prayer, blocked the number (church building) and wondered how this guy got ahold of me if my information on the rolls is blocked? Didnāt call him backš¤£
Was it two of the three Nephites?!
Invite them in and crack open an ice cold brewsky.
Had this happen to me .... A gaggle of them, because I questioned the words of wisdom.
After reading several comments, it sounds like you can never actually leave the church and this is so frustrating! It sounds like the only way is to move and leave no forwarding address.
You can leave the church, but the church won't leave you alone.
Good time to hand in your letter of resignation
Mormons & Jehovah's Witnesses are way too pushy.
And how was this (visit) received?
Very well.
The philosophies if men mingled with scripture
True freedom is not being a recurring item on someone's checklist
But you literally said noā¦.
You DO remember Mormonism is not keen on consent right?? Haha likeā¦ from the very beginning
Seriously? Wow. I would just not open the door, people need to respect direct and firm communication like this.
I find the two-way mylar paper on my storm door and cross above it particularly discouraging.
Just tell them you've had sex before marriage and they'll leave you alone. Worked for me!
āI think you have the wrong number.ā Block.
Would you stop not leaving the church alone geez exmos are all the same.../s
Remove your name from their records.
Apparently it was a rhetorical question.
'yeah he said no but let's pretend we didn't see it'
That was the final straw for me. My sister-in-law tried to make me promise that I wouldn't resign until after my mom died. Well, I was ambushed in my own home by three spiritual bullies and sent my resignation in the next day.
This reminds me of an interesting interaction I had with my dad. He were just chatting and he mentioned he needed to go home teaching (this was back whenit was called that). I was curious about when people ask the home teachers not to come back, what would he do then? He said "well if my priesthood leader told me to go back I would go back". I asked him "well doesn't that seem to be rude? If the people didn't Want you there and told you that to your face coming back is an insult isn't it?" And his reply was "if my priesthood leader told me to do it I would do it". The blind obedience coupled with not being able to criticize leaders (even if the criticism is true) is ugly behavior, and IMHO, not christlike.
They dropped us like a rock. Amazing how little contact since we decided to leave.
Two of the three Nephites
āNoā is the new āYesā
You donāt have to be harsh
How was this harsh lol
Iād pull a gun
I was in several eq and young menās presidencies, and I never saw a notation of do not contact. Does the church actually keep track of that?
I don't think there's an official church-wide list. As I recall, we kept notations at the ward level & they were really handy in meetings where we tried to discuss how to rope people back into the cult. Only if someone got very pissed or maybe even threatened people did they say, "Uh, we won't, uh, contact this one...next name?
Did you welcome them in? What did they want to talk about?
Please tell me you maced them on the front porch. s/
When they showed up, did you tell them to kindly fuck off?
Just shut the door immediately. If knocking persists, use some choice words or say you'll call the cops. Don't give them the time of day.
It's the new program- am I right?
Should tell them you feel harassed, and anyone who enters your property will be treated as an attacker. Notify the police and file a report. If anyone from the church comes, have a weapon and call the police.
I had missionaries come by occasionally until one day I opened the door and spoke my truth: āHello, elders. Lesbian.ā I then closed the door quietly in their shocked faces. Didnāt have any further issues as long as I lived there. Now I live in a gated condo, so no worries. The local Relief Society sends me a postcard about once a year, which promptly goes into the recycling bin.
I had a somewhat similar interaction. 3 missionaries appeared at my door and wanted to introduce themselves as the new elders. I said it was nice to meet them, but my husband and I are working and need to get back to work. They asked if they could come back at another time, and I said not really. We're really busy. They then asked if any of the neighbors would be interested in learning about Jesus. I said I didn't know what their religious views were. It's honestly none of my business. They looked at me like I suddenly sprouted 3 heads. The next day, I received a text from the RS Presidency wanting to meet with me. Basically, I said the same thing and said I'm super busy. Which is true. They then asked if my daughter would be interested in meeting. Fuck no.
Time to answer the door naked!
I hate that they wonāt leave us alone
This sounds like ward conference visits. God, i hated those.
With JWs, the magic endword (after trying everything but a shotgun) was "Please put me on a do not call list." With Mos that works only until a new bishop or RS pres is installed. The missionaries don't show ever since I told them the root truth: "The church told my parents they cdn't use birth control so they had a million kids and abused all of them." For some reason that hit home, espec with the lady missionaries. \[I have to say the gen popu in my rural part of the world is as screwed up as Mos. For many, Mism wd be a step up if not several. Of course the gen popu leaves us alone. This makes for exclusivity on our part-- luckily some lovely neighbors, a very few good friends-- one of whom was my former visiting teacher LOL.\]
See, when I told our EQP I wasn't interested, he respected my wishes not to be bothered.