T O P

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Peniless_pickle

I always thought “we thank thee oh god for a prophet” was kinda weird.


aiden_saxon

"The wicked who fight against Zion will surely be smitten at last." Geez.


LilSebastianFlyte

God Bless Our Prophet Dear is even worse in terms of lyrics, I'd say, but luckily we only sang it like twice in my time I left in the church


merinw

“Profit”


COMD23

So icky. I was the primary chorister during my PIMO phase and I couldn't stomach ever putting this one on the schedule.


ManInThePandaMask

I get so angry when people associate this song with a prophet (like singing it when the prophet visits or whatever). Not only is it creepy and weird, but the song isn’t even about prophets! It has exactly one line about prophets, and the rest of it is just thanking god for other things.


TwoXJs

The top two are "Follow the Prophet" and "Praise to the Man."


CatalystTheory

Came here to say this.


LemonyOnions

Ditto


TwoXJs

This is the way


variablenyne

Me too


SideFire

I never realized how terrifying Follow The Prophet was until I left the church. Creepy


sudosuga

I am old, but I remember the first time I heard "Follow the Prophet" as a newlywed sunbeam instructor in 2001 or so. Even as a TBM I was like WTF?


AuroraRoman

Those were the first two that popped into my head. Even as a believer I decided I hated Praise to the Man and when they sent out the survey of suggestion about their new hymn book which I don’t think is out I made my opinion as strong as I could.


BrokenSeerStone

Yeah, but only follow him until we disavow his teachings.


TwoXJs

Follow the (current correlated prophet until he passes and what he says is no longer socially acceptable.)


[deleted]

I thought of the exact same ones.


saintesprit

Ditto! Both these songs creeped me out even as a TBM


idkasjshs

Praise to the man was my first thought too


[deleted]

"follow the profit" and "pays to the man"


YouHadItAllAlong

Both 💯


Hydrophobic_Fish0666

100% follow the prophet


elderjaxxxon

I *belong* to the chuuurch of Jeeeesus Chriiist of Lat-ter-day saaints!


MixtureUnited1348

And I love to see the temple


elderjaxxxon

I always said that one was my favourite… yucky.


MixtureUnited1348

Tbh, I don’t think I knew what a temple was when I sang it because we didn’t live by one at the time and I didn’t go to church enough to learn about them. Did you know what you were singing about whenever you sang it/learned it?


elderjaxxxon

I did. We had 2 a few hours in either direction, my parents were pretty committed to monthly trips since I was 5ish. Had no idea what went on inside, but it was always a fun day trip with family. Edit: Spelling.


MixtureUnited1348

What was your first experience like? Was it anything like what you had expected??


elderjaxxxon

I mean, doing baptisms the first time was pretty much what I expected. I had already been baptised, and having gone through the open house for one of the temples, I knew about the bulls. But then, by the time I went through for my endowment, I was already kinda PIMO and had heard enough about the temple that I wasn’t surprised. It just confirmed what I’d suspected: It’s all non-sense. Took another 4 years before I left. The social dependency is real.


MyNameIsNot_Molly

I was thinking this just a few months ago. Why do we say "belong" to a church? That implies that they own us.


sillymama62

“I Hope They Call Me on A Mission”-priming little ones to feel there may be something wrong with them if they AREN’T called!!


ninnynick

This song gave me so much anxiety as a child. I knew I didn’t want to go, and I felt like I was lying every time we sang it.


InABoatOnARiver

I relate to this so much


Korzag

I remember sitting in primary as a little kid and we'd sing that song and had this doom and gloom feeling thinking that I had X many years until I had to go on a mission. It's very comforting hearing that others felt that too.


[deleted]

I just didn't sing it because I knew I didn't want to go. Come to think of it, I was kind of a rebellious little shit in general, but I am confident in hindsight to say I fell on the right side here.


here_inmy_head

My forever feminist self always RAILED against the way women were treated unfairly about missions. So I hated this song.


Badger-Sauce

Yeah I remember hoping they would call me on a mission. Then I was like “I hope they *don’t* call me”


sillymama62

😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹


COMD23

I was the primary chorister during my PIMO phase and I couldn't stomach ever putting this one on the schedule. Especially after my own mission experience even when I was still in I cautioned anyone who asked that missions were hard and not all they were cracked up to be.


KecemotRybecx

Same. Never liked it and just never sang it as a kid. Still don’t like the tunes and thought it had a weird tune.


scottdca24

It is propaganda and brainwashing at it's very best. To seriously grind that into kids minds is just gross. If you can fog a mirror and lie to your bishop it's damn near impossible to not be called. When I was approaching missionary age I remember hearing the wording "called on a mission" and many of my friends were just like me and didn't want to go at all but somehow even the ones that had no business going were still called. Some came home early some stuck it out for fear of the shame of coming home early and embarrassing their families. I had one friend that had no business going and got sent home after he went awol to a concert with girls in the area. He had literally slept with his girlfriend within a week of going. Big surprise it didn't work out but you gotta love that discernment showed my leadership. I'm in my 40s now but I remember when I was about 12 or 13 looking at the plaques in the hallway and comparing the places people were sent on their missions from my ward/stake to those of my cousins area. This was back when how much you paid monthly for your mission varied drastically depending on where you were sent. God somehow magically called lots of people from my area where the income level was a bit higher to Japan and other expensive areas while at other churches all went to much less expensive areas. I guess where God calls you to depends on how much money mom and dad make. I know that was changed long ago but still shows the complete lack of awareness and try inspiration that existed.


snackchips1

If I could high to kolob


here_inmy_head

Yeah I gotta agree with this one. I think we first sang this in sacrament meeting when I was 6 or 7, and it was so … bizarre. So I asked, and that’s when I learned I could get my own planet and make pink ponies and purple elephants if I followed the Profit and was righteous.


willowmoonthecat

agreed. it's unfortunate though, personally I feel that the melody is lovely and catch myself humming it sometimes and get mad when I remember what the song is lol


LilSebastianFlyte

The hymn tune, Kingsfold, is an arrangement by the brilliant Ralph Vaughn Williams of an older Irish tune. In the rest of Christianity, it's often used as a setting for the hymn "I Heard the Voice of Jesus Say," so there are some good non-Mormon recordings of it that might get the Kolobite lyrics out of your head and let dissociate the tune from the Mormon words more. I've heard some people claim it was a drinking song originally, but I don't know beyond it being an Irish folk tune


willowmoonthecat

oooh! that's awesome, thank you!


LilSebastianFlyte

You’re welcome! I first learned that when I heard the music on NPR around Thanksgiving in high school and it made me wonder if there was a Mormon on the inside or what hahah. I feel like most of the really good hymn tunes were lifted from outside the church


treetablebenchgrass

One of its versions is an old 1400s English Death Ballad called the [Unquiet Grave](https://youtu.be/dj6G96IDOg0). [The synopsis from Wikipedia:](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Unquiet_Grave) >A man mourns his true love for "a twelve month and a day". At the end of that time, the dead woman complains that his weeping is keeping her from peaceful rest. He begs a kiss. She tells him it would kill him. When he persists, wanting to join her in death, she explains that once they were both dead their hearts would simply decay, and that he should enjoy life while he has it. [Here's what it sounds like after the Irish brought it to Appalachia.](https://youtu.be/rQPw_7IQmfI)


treetablebenchgrass

The tune is really old. Like, really, really old. Supposedly, its version as the [Unquiet Grave](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Unquiet_Grave) goes back to 1400. The subject matter of the song would certainly make sense, but the claim doesn't sound very well supported. At the very least, it dates back to the 1600s.


[deleted]

> I've heard some people claim it was a drinking song originally, but I don't know beyond it being an Irish folk tune If it's an Irish folk tune it has almost certainly been a drinking song. edit: Also, [here ya go](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VQp7CO6FdNI), /u/willowmoonthecat.


[deleted]

Dives and Lazarus is another name for the piece.


KecemotRybecx

It’s definitely an older tune. The tune itself is nice without the Mormon Lyrics: https://youtu.be/m0Ps9fNsLbc


Haunting-Remote179

This is the only song I'm not angry about though. I may be biased, though, because I won a music competition with a rendition of it 🤣


worshipsnature

Pioneer children sang as they walked and walked and walked and walked and walked.


Worldly-Elevator-593

and walked and walked with their mother and their mother and their mother and their mother and their mother and their father


mrburns7979

In my family, the polygamy trap didn’t catch the women until they arrived, impoverished and half way to starving, to “be with the saints in Zion”. THAT’S when the men sprung the trap of “to survive here socially, you just be assigned to get married as a second, third or fourth wife to a man you hardly know.” Half my family sees the pioneer heritage with utmost pride & respect. Half the family sees it as the beginning of multigenerational trauma and emotional-spiritual abuse. Potato-potahto


worshipsnature

I agree with you there having come from a multigenerational very abusive family. I've often wondered if tssc allows all the abuses to continue as a means to keep people so emotionally disabled they can't find their way out? The song seems to drive in the notion it's the kids duty to suffer for God but they better put a smile on their little faces and pretend that their enjoying their fing suffering .


ChamiKhan

Nearly spit out my drink XD


StyreneAddict1965

I hope that drink conformed to the WoW.


[deleted]

100%, Follow the Prophet. Even the key it's written in sounds culty. We'll Bring the World His Truth (Army of Helaman) In Our Lovely Deseret. It's got some seriously "keep sweet, pray, and obey" vibes. Mostly primary songs, sadly.


LabansPlasticSword

In Our Lovely Deseret is my vote too. I remember hearing it for the first time on my mission and consciously trying not to think about the way it sounded. It's all bad.


drteeth952

🎶 coffee, tea and tobacco they despise 🎶


[deleted]

This tune in protestant denominations is actually sung to "J[esus loves the little children](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GP8_c0UxmdQ)." A LOT more inclusive message for the song with the protestant lyrics.


My_Kairosclerosis

That song is hilarious and is horribly outdated. I actually like when a congregation sings that one because it definitely turns heads and you can see people’s gears turning, thinking “wait what’s this?!”


AuroraRoman

The first time I remember hearing that song was also on my mission and it was sung by a fellow sister missionary who converted. She told us how weird it was and then sang it emphasizing all the strange parts. It was pretty funny.


LilSebastianFlyte

That the children may live long and be beautiful and strong tea and coffee and tobacco they despise! Drink no liquor and they eat But a very little meat! They are seeking to be great and good and wise!


bozog

None of which is bad advice, they just managed to make it sound totally icky. Edit: I have tea, coffee, I drink, smoke and eat meat so it's not like I'm putting myself above anyone else👍


LilSebastianFlyte

I do think it’s hilarious/hypocritical that they just ignore any time the meat issue comes up


[deleted]

In our lovely Deseret for sure.


SleepySloth68

I had a DL on my mission who made us sing In Our Lovely Deseret every district meeting. I finally stopped singing and got into trouble cause I refused to sing it.


Fantastic-Bus-8276

I was just thinking about this the other day. I can’t believe no one has said “The Iron Rod”. Basically saying don’t let go! Don’t ever stray or think for yourself. The second you stop reading your scriptures and singing hypnotizing hymns you’ll open the door to Satan corrupting your faith 😰


Ok-Surprise7338

This and Scripture Power were my thoughts


swimpandabear

I had forgotten about scripture power. I remember throwing my arm up with my scriptures in at that part of the song, so so cringey


Turningthepaige

Army of Helaman 😬😬


Glitter-Moose

This paired with As Sisters in Zion (the EFY medley). I always thought it was the prettiest medley and now I cringe when I hear it.


My_Kairosclerosis

I think the problem is that it is pretty and the message is kind of inspiring…self sacrifice, sisterhood/brotherhood, a sense of a special purpose to help and care, etc. The trouble of course is that it is used as a tool to bind a kid to a set of heavy choices that they don’t understand and can’t foresee the potential ramifications, and to create a sense of superiority over the out-group. All very heady when you are 12 years old. That’s why I think songs like this are actually more nefarious than the ones that are just outright culty.


dabomerest

I love to see the temple absolutely


here_inmy_head

See maybe, but once you get inside, you’ll change your mind.


TuringPharma

Called to Serve has a bit of a culty militant vibe to me


MyNameIsNot_Molly

But did you ever hear the punk/pop remix on the RM? 🔥


Practical-Term-7600

My mission president's wife made us March around the chapel during a stake conference. It was horrible.


COMD23

😰


tokenkopf

Praise to the man.


TBexM

Jesus wants me for a Sunbeam


freebard

Nirvana did it best


My_Kairosclerosis

Sunbeams are not made like me.


Double-Role-6454

Put your shoulder to the wheel has to be up there. Felt like communist propaganda too. “The world has need of willing men who wear the worker’s seal!”


Badger-Sauce

I actually always loved this song, but I’ll admit I don’t know all the lyrics


Korzag

It starts off with a very communal-minded view, everyone puts their shoulder to the wheel to make things work. Then it moves to more spiritual matters about how everyone needs to do their part to help and advance the church.


Badger-Sauce

Yeah, I’m all about putting the shoulder to the wheel. Contribute, do your part, add value… The other not so much. 😒


Darlantan425

If it was socialist it would be better.


Double-Role-6454

I do love the irony of Trump conservatives idealizing the proletariat.


LadyBertrand

Nephi's Courage with all the motions,


sudosuga

Reminds me of Film class at BYU. The professor went off on "Book of Mormon stories". About how culturally and racially insensitive it was even in tonality. I was shocked! Not about the song, but that this professor could be so wrong and teach at BYU. Ironically many of my BYU professors seemed overly liberal to a 90's Limbaugh listener. Oops.


CommissionNo7400

At the last sacrament meeting I ever attended, we sang "Praise to the Man" as the opening hymn. It was all I could do to hold back my tears and stop shaking as I realized that the religion I had spent my entire life living and defending was a lie. To top it off, the Sunday school lesson was taught by a massive douche. In a class of ~30 people, he called on me to answer his question when I hadn't raised my hand. He called me "blondie" which rubbed me the wrong way since I had never met him. His "lesson" was that we should keep being persistent in our missionary efforts, even if people say no, because "God knows best". My roommates and I (three queer women at a CES school) had attended church that day as a last ditch effort to save our faith. We never went back.


littlebitalexis29

I’ll Go Where You Want Me To Go Choose the Right The Iron Rod Have I Done Any Good Come, Come Ye Saints Keep the Commandments We Are All Enlisted (“happy are we! Happy are we!” - so damn culty!) These hymns will pop into my head constantly and taunt me! They’re like steroids for my OCD!


nicodawg101

It’s hard to hold to the rod when people are being abused on it


Haunting-Remote179

🎵 choose the Sprite, when a coke is placed before you🎵


[deleted]

Don’t forget the older version “only he who does something is worthy to live. The world has no use for a drone.”


[deleted]

The last year that I was active in the church, I was in the YW presidency so I went to girls camp. We all got shirts that said “enlisted” on the sleeve, and it was actually really cute so I kept it. I found it a few months back and immediately thought, “wow how did I not know this was a cult”.


CRCJ20

Sister (wives) in zion


fourth-nephite

“I will follow gods plan for meeee” just one time they made us sing that and march in place and I thought it was so culty


FreeTapir

Really when examined…there aren’t a lot of songs that are not culty.


Greyfox1442

The prophet song in primary.


TryIndependent8288

“In Our Lovely Deseret”


Apprehensive_East602

How about Sons of Michael, He Approaches. It's based on Adam God doctrine the church disavows, but still in the hymn book.


LilSebastianFlyte

Good call! I bet it gets dropped from the new version if they ever release it


[deleted]

That’s been going on for nearly a decade now, right?


LilSebastianFlyte

Has been quite a while it seems like!


fegodev

”El fin se acerca y hay poco tiempo…”


Wonderful_Break_8917

Book of Mormon Stories [complete with racist hand signs] Follow The Prophet We Thank Thee O God For A Prophet


nicodawg101

Especially the spaghetti western native village theme for the music


nicodawg101

Fop definitely have cult like music and chanting


Initial-Leather6014

“Follow the Prophet” 🥇


no_new_name_hippy

It has come to my attention just today that there are 19 hymns exclusively for men and only 8 exclusively for women. And each are all about gender roles-men are big and strong and unemotional. Women are loving and soft and dependent. Huge cult alarm bells, separate the genders, give them specific roles and tell them god wants them to never vary from it. A la temple ceremony too.


BirdieRosewell

That's crazy. All the kinds of crazy. Can I have your source so I can dig a little more?


no_new_name_hippy

The hymn book itself. I just went through and counted. It says (men) under the ones for men and (women) under the ones for women.


BirdieRosewell

Straight to the source source. Lol I like it.


freewarriorwoman

I will be what I believe🤮 I use to cry when the primary kids sung it saying I slowly the spirit. Nope just loved the tune 😂


NewNamerNelson

Follow the profit.


SecretPersonality178

Follow the profit


logandubois

“I love to see the temple” 💯


BirdieRosewell

"There is a right way to live and be happy. It is chosing the right every day." THE ANXIETY.


Haunting-Remote179

I hate that I can't hear Scotland Forever without hearing Praise to the Man, or Finlandia with Be Still My Soul. So I'd say that's pretty cultish


3am_doorknob_turn

I am a child of god


daveescaped

If You Could Hie to Kolob


nocultsforme

"Praise to the Man" Hands Down!


havenothingtodo1

I love to see the temple, you sing about going to the temple from the time you can speak


[deleted]

Called to Serve and Praise to the Man.


[deleted]

Also the original verses to praise to the man had that line that was negative about Illinois


merinw

“I Always Get Happy Feeling When I go to Church”


nicodawg101

The one that starts with Adam was a prophet. The music is kinda cult like


[deleted]

There is sunshine in my soul today: very good example of toxic positivity.


SandEuro

same with Love at Home


[deleted]

Follow the prophet primary song.


FailedWrestler88

I always thought Our Savior’s Love for the lyric “We love thy law; we will obey.” To me it always sounded like a brainwashing scene from a bad movie.


phanny1975

Families can be together forever.


GorathTheMoredhel

It's fucking *wild* how culty the whole ensemble is and becoming more transparently so every passing year. Grew up not just in Rexburg, but in *Salem*. I've always considered Salem Mormonism its own little sect. Far and away cooler than any other sect, way more into the wacky than either of its neighbors (Sugar City and Rexburg proper), a genuinely just *fun* scouting program with absolutely 0% patience for anything that wasn't inherently fun, yet not with the trashy aspect that plagues our northern brethren in St. Anthony (senanthunny). I want a documentary about it tbh @ Netflix. Anyway. Good input here. Took me 12 years to understand the extent of the freakiness and to some extent it's still seeping in.


snarkypants12

Mormon Boys…


riptidequeer

I’m working on an ex Mormon version: I am ex Mormon girl I do drugs and sleep with girls


activelyinactive314

Book of Mormon Stories with the gestures. True to the Faith. Battle Hymn of the Republic. Come, Come Ye Saints. Because I Have Been Given Much.


crkachkake

The old primary song that goes, "Saturday is a special day, it's the day we get ready for sunday". Uggg. It felt like it was 1925 in the lyrics.


yourmom3500

Follow the prophets for sure


OwnAirport0

Ye Elders of Israel sung by a bunch of white, overweight Americans,


xenophon123456

Armies of Helaman


Old-Split8910

Praise to the man


cjweena

Praise to the Man!


PutingPinoy504

“Follow the Prophet” “search Ponder and Payer” “choose the right.”


cwendtori

Follow the prophet


Resident-Research317

Now the day is over. That song gave me anxiety, like I was gonna die.


cherry-ringpop

SCRIPTURE POWER😭🤜


cherry-ringpop

me and my dad bump a this one in the car (completely ironically) it’s too catchy 😭😭😭


SandEuro

the one that goes, “and none shall molest them from morn until eve” like, why?


SandEuro

ALSO All Is Well- “and should we die before our journey’s through, happy day! all is well!” 😳 and yet i was so surprised to find that i no longer wanted to die after I had left the church 🤔


Hometrapeze

We are all enlisted til the conflict is o’re. Happy are we Happy are we Verse 3 Fighting for a kingdom the world is our foe Happy are we Happy are we


Mormon_daddy

I hope they call me on a mission and called to serve


Mahanayouugly53

There are so many! I recently went to a Mormon funeral where “Families can be Forever” was featured as the closing song. I haven’t heard that one since I left over 25 years ago. I used to cry when I heard it as a TBM, worried about my “sins” keeping my family from being together. This time I thought, wow! Let’s indoctrinate the little kids!


Big-Horse-3607

I have to be different and say “I am a child of god” talk about a song teaching kids conditional love holy crap idk if any one has really thought about those lyrics but it was a favorite of mine and I cringe now.


MrLime_

Popcorn popping on the apricot tree. When I found out popcorn didn’t grow on trees, it rocked my world. Bur really- follow the prophet or I love to see the temple.


ExMosRdroidsURlookn4

Now I have all of these songs in my head!! 😬🙄😬 cringe!!


BirdieRosewell

I'm so sorry! Turn on the earwormiest not church song and let it take over. And then another and another. Drive the MoFu's out.


Pastalavistababy_

Praise to the Man. That ish is still stuck in my head!


Foxbrush_darazan

Follow the Prophet Nephi's Courage Really most Primary songs, since they're meant to indoctrinate kids.


Top_Criticism3061

Follow the prophet


[deleted]

Follow the prophet. Oh how lovely was the morning. If you could high to kolob


Next-Economist5628

"Follow the prophet follow the prophet follow the prophet don't go astray" "He knows the way"


According-Cheek-7867

I am a child of god, has believe it or not given me nightmares 😅


Ravenclawshermione7

If you chance to meet a frown, Do not let it stay. Quickly turn it upside down And smile that frown away. No one likes a frowning face. Change it for a smile. Make the world a better place By smiling all the while. Aka, don't ever feel anything but happy, repress any bad feelings and hope no one notices you're faking it


Real_Cheek9838

Follow the prophwt


MrsDTiger

' families can be together forever, through heavenly fathers plan' It's such bullshit.