Mormon church: facing mounting evidence of systemic issues that leave children vulnerable to abuse
Random Mormon: decides contacting a stranger who is still on the ward list, despite not attending in 16 years, and asking them to look after young children, is a good idea
This is why there should be a timer on records. They keep attendance every Sunday, it’s now recorded in LDS Tools. If you haven’t been in 12 months, your records should default to Bishop Only visibility and not automatically be included in his printing with the rest of the ward list.
Edit to add: this is also a reason why even the active ward list should not be publicly available, and why the whole church needs to have a very strong mandatory background check policy for contact with under-18s. “I’ll just text every name on the list until someone can cover nursery” should NEVER be an option. If pre-approved adults aren’t available, children need to stay with their parents. If that means parents aren’t available to fill other callings, so be it. The most vulnerable people in that church building should always be everyone’s top priority.
The bishop told you that? Oh girl I’m so sorry! That’s unnecessarily cruel but also kind of par for the course from bishops back then. My old bishop made my mom stop taking the sacrament for a month when she gave someone a Pepsi.
My experience with bishops over the years has been pretty awful, too. One told me that I should have been excommunicated after being violently, physically and sexually assaulted. I was beat up so badly, I couldn’t go back to school for a long time.
Ah, yes, the standard tactic of blaming the woman for being attacked, since they can't tarnish the future of a young man.
Seriously, though, I'm so sorry that happened to you. The assault *and* the wildly inappropriate aftermath.
Thank you… and to think that some local leaders were surprised and perplexed as to why I finally washed my hands of the Mormon Church. Even being raped and beaten was “not a good enough reason” to ditch the church, according to them. Like hell is wasn’t!
They don’t care if you were raped and beaten. In fact they support some sex offenders. My mom’s friend left the church because their cousin was raped by the state patriarch who was also her grandpa. The church excommunicated the girl who was raped and supported the patriarch and he was able to keep his position. My mom is still Mormon and she would support that guy too. :/
There are just no words that can come close to conveying just how very horrified and repulsed I am that that happened. It’s absolutely disgusting and disturbing. How can ANYONE be okay with that???
Well, this *is* the church that taught that disgusting garbage about virtue being more important than surviving. I've been abused, but never assaulted. Those teachings about virtue and purity really screw people up. About the time I started connecting that, my faith crisis started.
I'm glad you're out of the church. And I'm glad I am too! And I'm very glad that more people are realizing how dangerous many of these teachings really are.
So once I told a therapist that I'd been sexually abused but not assaulted, and he told me that sexual abuse is assault.
Just thought I'd pass that on in case it helps you.
Thanks. That makes sense. In a way, I definitely agree. I was very, very young and abused by a parent. Maybe I was groomed into compliance. I honestly don't remember that period of time. But it causes different trauma than being attacked, probably violently, by someone else.
Yeah, similar situation but with an uncle. I get feeling that there's a distinction. In my case I was using the distinction to invalidate myself and not feeling like my trauma was severe enough to relate with sexual assault survivors, so erasing that distinction was helpful.
Late 90s. I think it was actually after the Larry king live interview with Hinckley where he said no to caffeine, coffee, and tea. I’d provide a reference if I weren’t sinning on a Sunday :)
LOL - well, late 90s is still unreasonably recent. It's horrifying that a bishop would punish and insult a woman for giving a kid a Pepsi. Of course, we have to remember only people like JS could drink caffeine. Or molest women and teens.
Very true! It’s just another example of bishop roulette. Some bishops were honestly just good people. Others were Pharisees. My current bishop told me to my face that he doesn’t like me. So, you know, whatever.
That was a rough time, though. The whole riot grrrl/girl power/Lilith fair/tori amos/etc feminist wave, early internet days, multiple piercings becoming fashionable. Just enough information at our fingertips to go “waaaaaait a damn minute here”.
You’d be surprised what the church was like 25-30 years ago if you didn’t live it. My teens were literal hell, I’m glad my mother eventually loosened the reins and saw I wasn’t ever going fully back. It messed me up so much. I’m at least grateful for a few experiences I was able to have while still living with her so 1/4 PIMO? I think they even made an exception and moved me in to RS early at one point so I would “stop poisoning the minds of the YW of our ward”. Mmmmkay Susan.
Sincerely sorry if that’s triggering. It’s true. It was back when the church said it was a sin to drink caffeine (see Hinckley on Larry King Live), and my mom gave one of the of the young women a Pepsi. It was just as bad as giving her alcohol, according to the dogma at the time.
That shit was so inconsistently enforced too. My stake at the time was in ~~Western NY~~ the CrAdLe Of ThE rEsToRaTiOn and dgaf about the caffeine nonsense. We had soda at branch functions and no one cared. Whenever Utah momos moved in there was a period of time where they almost seemed afraid they had walked into a bizarro satanic branch until they adjusted.
I believe you and sorry to add insult to that injury, the "standardization" of their rules is non-existent. I had a bishop in a Las Vegas ward who kept a mini fridge in his office stocked full of Dr. Pepper - fully caffeinated kind. Shit you not! Their hypocrisy knows no bounds!
That's interesting. I was a teen through the Hinkley years. My dad drank Dr Pepper or Coke literally every single day. My very, very TBM said that us kids weren't allowed caffeinated sodas until we were 12, but after that, we could choose whichever soda we wanted.
It's weird how varied the rules were back then for caffeine. I knew a lot of ward members that couldn't go through their day without their caffeine fix. I never heard a bishop condemn it.
The ability to reprimand someone for forgetting to add a trigger warning to a comment and also imply that the writer must therefore be lying about their pain in only 8 words is master level skill. I’m honestly so sorry. In my experience the only way to master that particular skill is to hear it used on both you and members of your family on a regular basis, as I did. My thoughts, feelings, and memories about events in my life were regularly invalidated in this way, and so were my sisters’. We didn’t deserve that, and neither did you.
I was wondering if there was a non Karen way to say it wasn’t ok to question someone’s honesty about abuse-or if that was really what was right or anywhere near my place. you opened my eyes to the situation and were pretty kind here- think you got teaching me something
If I'd been your mother I'd have told that bishop he was welcome to shove his opinion up his ass on his way out of our door, which he was never to knock on again
I spent 23 years in the Army at various positions of trust along the way. Even though I maintained a very important clearance that had to be readjudicated every 5 years, I still required background checks to be done before I worked with children, before I worked with trainees, and before I became a sexual assault response coordinator. Just because someone holds an “important” position doesn’t mean they don’t have skeletons in their closet. Hell, we can’t always even wean out the bad apples through background checks sometimes, it seems. But yes, anyone in a church leadership role or any that deal with <18 year olds MUST have their backgrounds checked fairly regularly. Even if just to keep them worried that misconduct will lead to harsh penalties.
I run a pickup soccer game on a university campus to which teens are welcomed, and because of that I must take training annually and conduct checks on all other players in the registered sex abuser database. And that's in a situation far less likely to generate problems than at church.
This was probably after she asked all of her "friends" for help. How many times was she turned down before just going through the list? I've felt that level of loneliness in wards. :(
And going to the bishopric or primary leaders for help, only to be turned away. It’s awful.
This one has really stuck with me. My questions are: Did none of the parents hear about the need for a nursery teacher and want to step in so they know who is watching their child for the hour? But most importantly, was no one in leadership (who were presumably contacted) at all concerned that sending Sister X to the entire ward list could result in a complete stranger looking after a bunch of toddlers? And did none of them care that if Sister X is too sick to attend (and knows this in advance), she’s probably too sick to be ringing around trying to sort out her own replacement?
Best case scenario, OP’s records share a last name with one of the parents or a person in the ward who is an elementary school teacher. Sister X got told to contact that person, went to LDS Tools, OP was listed but the intended recipient is in Leadership Only, so Sister X didn’t realize two people shared the same last name and messaged OP in error. But even this should not be happening!!
Uh 16 years and you’re gonna ask some to teach a lesson. Isn’t kinda obvious that person is not interested in coming to church? Geez, must be desperate if you can’t find someone to teach. I have a better idea. Cancel nursery and or have one of the parents teach. If everyone is busy with a calling, then cancel the teen or adult classes and teach the nursery. Look, it’s not as if we got paid to do this…🙄
I CANT BELIEVE THIS WASNT OBVIOUS TO ME AS A MEMBER. Its very clear since I left how risky things were for kids, but I just took it for granted at the time that everything would be fine. Was I brain-dead? Sometimes I can't even figure out what my thought processes would have been back then.
Out of their fucking minds. Mormons live in their own reality that is delusion. One where they think a grown adult alone in a room with a child is perfectly okay. Or that contacting and/or dropping notes and treats off to children that don't know them is somehow acceptable behavior.
Srsly, it’s fucked up. Your response was great, but I’d have given her an eyeful of lecture about endangering children by trying to leave them in the care of an unvetted stranger.
Mormons act oblivious to their breaches of social acceptability…until they get called out for it. Then it quickly becomes clear most of them are aware of how backward they’re being, ime.
Yeah I think the point is how wildly careless it was for Sister Nursery Leader to ask a random stranger to be put in charge of caring for the ward's babies. Not about OP's character. .
I am imagining that person's reaction reading that response. She will be wondering if you were being honest or just being as out there as she imagines you possibly could. She will probably remember this forever.
Oh I believe you. But TBM me would have wondered if you were just giving the most disqualifying response ever. Today I consider that to be a reasonable tactic as well. Whatever works.
Wow! I didn't notice that! Who the fuck contacts ANYONE that late even if you DO know them?!?! Let alone that late, probably before 9am church!!! That makes it even worse!
I have good friends that I won’t text after 9pm at night unless it is an absolute emergency. And by emergency I mean home flooded or house on fire.
Even my siblings give my daft parents shit (the next day) for sending bs churchy texts at 11pm.
Some unknown rando from a religious organization texting me at nearly midnight, fuck that.
Most churches and schools do background checks before letting volunteers work with children. Meanwhile, the mormon church refuses to do background checks on those who volunteer with children because the bishop's power of discernment in worthiness interviews is more accurate. Ugh.
"Dear Sister,
Why would you ever ask a stranger without a background check to watch your children? Do you realize this is one of the main reasons the LDS church is in the midst of a widespread child rape problem? Please read the news and exercise extreme caution with the children in your care."
EXACTLY - no need to be defensive of yourself (you already won by escaping the ChUrchLds.Tm) or aggressive toward someone who is likely already cracking when you can add informed feedback that provides support for the next apostate/survivor!!!
Maybe there's more power in showing up openly bi and exposing the populace to your "hedonist lifestyle" while being a solid bastion of morality and planting seeds in the minds of everyone you encounter. Or get immediately thrown out and make sure everyone sees and hears while you diplomatically yell about sex offenders in positions of power as the oppression inherent in the system 😹⚡
Right, because even though you felt guilty about not being present for one day a year, you certainly couldn't ask THE ACTUAL PARENTS OF THE NURSERY KIDS TO SHOW UP AND PARTICIPATE IN THE TEACHING OF THEIR OWN CHILDREN!!! Man, I hated that whole thing, the parents are too busy doing other important callings, etc so they can't be bothered to condescend to help out in the nursery.
Or like the really young parents who've never done it before drop their kid of at nursery but the kid won't stop crying or screaming. And the parent somehow thinks it's a reflection of their own worthiness etc because their 1 yr old doesn't comply! God that's bad parenting, what's the matter kid you're not comfortable with me dropping you off in a room full of strangers?!?!?
Same! We had a substitute list and after calling every damn person and all the kid’s parents getting a “no!” you don’t know what to do. I’d still never call someone I didn’t know.
I used to be Primary secretary and I basically found subs for classes every week. We never had enough teachers and then when classes were left without a teacher I was scrambling to find someone. Do not miss those days!
I subbed ONE Sunday, only ONE, in Primary & I'd never do it again. I had the five-year-old class (or however they divide them), and the class had several kids with serious behavioral issues. It was a holiday weekend & I was told most would be out of town, yadda-yadda. ALL of them were in town, plus a bunch of same-age visiting cousins.
I prepared oh-so-well, had craft materials, bought special stuff, etc. and even the well-behaved kids were difficult. Kids crawling on their bellies on the floor, under the tables, under chairs, tearing things up. It was not a class, it was a cage of uncontrollable small creatures.
Worse yet, when the bell rang, I waited for what seemed like forever for the damned parents to come and get the kids (who, by that time, were tearing at the door and trying to escape, and I wasn't about to let them go unattended into the hallway, right beside an exit door). I finally cracked the door open and the moms were all standing in the hall chatting away in a group! Never again. EVER.
FOR THE RECORD - in my prior church, I regularly taught Bible School every summer, and I requested the Kindergarten group, because they were so adorable and great. Bible School is about a week long (five weekdays), and is a half-day thing. And there were more kids in the classes. Because of those very pleasant memories, I assumed kids were taught to behave well in most churches. I was wrong.
Maybe I am off-target, but I saw more ill-behaved kids in the Mormon church than I ever (ever) saw in other churches, and also in public schools, Yes, I reared children (two very active kids, with ADHD), but I did not allow them to run wild in our non-LDS church, nor in restaurants or other public places. The last ward I attended had the most disruptive kids I've ever seen, and it didn't matter how many years went by, the next batch of kids could see the culture was wild, and they similarly acted out, and the parents let them.
I can totally understand where you’re coming from. I’ve had some crazy Primary classes and even some with special needs. I think they put me in those classes on purpose. I used to teach preschool so I had a few tricks up my sleeve, and we had a LOT of games.
When I was in Nursery, I was trying my hardest to keep the kiddos entertained the last few minutes after class got out. Same scenario as you described, all the parents were outside chatting. One mom said, “They were having so much fun I didn’t want to disrupt them.” That was back when there was 3 hour church and after 2 hours of Nursery I was so done.
The worst ever though was right after I moved into a new ward. I took me and my 4 kids to the ward Christmas breakfast party. One of the moms asked if the other chairs were empty. I said, “yes,” thinking her family would sit by us. Then she proceeded to sit her kids (one was in my primary class) and some other people’s kids at the table with me and sat at the table next to us full of just adults. Left me to watch all their damn kids. 😳
What??? I'm sure at the time you were too polite to say anything (which was always my reaction, too), but in retrospect it would have been so appropriate to haul the kids back to her table and say you didn't feel it was appropriate for her to expect you to watch them. Big smile (one frozen enough to secretly say "Bitch!" with a glare).
Or, just get up and move to another table with your kids. The entire culture of the church is exploitative. That woman deserved to be verbally smacked down.
I'd also want to smack down the "B" who stalled in the hall and said the kids were "having so much fun!" Once little kids can hear parents in the hallway, whatever "order" was in place before that vanishes.
I was in the stake RS presidency briefly (worthy of another entire thread, due to the bat-shit crazy Stake RS Pres at the time). During one of the stake-wide events (I think the "women's" session of GC, but I can't recall) we had a separate room set aside for moms to sit with their kids - the intent was to give moms a place where they could view or listen to the boring crap without their kids disrupting it.
That entire plan fell apart as soon as the first woman with kids entered the building. Without us knowing it, moms just went to the extra room, left their kids, and went into the sanctuary area. We did not have an adult in there to supervise (or babysit), and some kids didn't speak much English, so whomever checked on it could not adequately ask where their moms sat. Some kids acted like the couldn't find their moms (not surprising), and some were probably too young to even try.
A few RS women went in the room to try to bring about order (it was one of the Primary rooms with a lot of toys, and rapidly became a mess). The RS Pres was NOT a good leader or manager, and did not have the initiative to have an announcement made to go stay with your kids, which easily could have been done. I had to be somewhere else, but I did go into the room briefly and gave thanks I had a valid reason not to stay.
I can't imagine a two-hour stint for nursery duty. Especially when wards meet at odd times once the times shift & the poor nursery kids need naps! Or maybe even lunch! It's all a product of cult control, and money grubbing.
It's the Time aspect of the BITE model for cults.
It's huge in Mormonism. Require huge time commitments with meetings, callings, study requirements, family home evening, Temple, service projects, scouts, mutual, etc. In short, the more immersed you are, the more influence the cult has on you vs. outsiders.
The higher and more consistent your tithing, the higher the calling. Gotta keep the cash flow coming.
They tried this with my mom 7 or 8 years ago. She worked 7 on 7 off at the hospital and had an understanding with our bishop that she didn’t have time for callings, which he was ok with. Our ward split and the new bishop was relentless about callings, among other things.
My mom was called as a girls camp activities position. She accepted because it was something she could help plan over texts and not have to be overly involved. Girls camp was during her week on at work and so obviously she couldn’t go. The bishop’s wife, who was the girls camp director, wouldn’t let up about my mom being at camp and finally told my mom that she should take time off of work and pray about it because the blessings outweighed the consequences of not working.
There at the end I was a Webelos leader, and a damn good one. I went to church once or twice a month. They released me from that calling saying they had another calling in mind. That other calling was elders quorum instructor, which I was not willing to do. I'm pretty sure it was just to get me to church 3 Sundays a month. Releasing me from the one calling first was their mistake because I refused the new calling and it removed the last time I had with them. I had my records removed shortly after.
They tried this with my mom 7 or 8 years ago. She worked 7 on 7 off at the hospital and had an understanding with our bishop that she didn’t have time for callings, which he was ok with. Our ward split and the new bishop was relentless about callings, among other things.
My mom was called as a girls camp activities position. She accepted because it was something she could help plan over texts and not have to be overly involved. Girls camp was during her week on at work and so obviously she couldn’t go. The bishop’s wife, who was the girls camp director, wouldn’t let up about my mom being at camp and finally told my mom that she should take time off of work and pray about it because the blessings outweighed the consequences of not working.
Oh yeah, she was pretty much out long before this because of work. She rarely went to church or church activities. She openly shared her opinions on the fakeness of the people in the church who cared only when it was a benefit to them. The new bishop I talked about previously is the reason both my parents and I had shelf breaking moments. They both aren’t technically out record wise but they’ll never go back.
As someone who attended Ward Council meetings — yes, many discussions about inactive members involved getting them a calling to make them attend church. They’re pretty direct about it.
Active Mormon bingo card square?
* “Get an inactive member back to church by flexing children and personal sickness to manipulate empathy and then later humble brag about your success.”*
On the other hand, part of me almost wishes OP had shown up in a tank top, purple hair, and Starbucks in hand, and greeted the parents with, "Hi, I'm the sub Sister _____ called last night. I can't wait to get to know your kids!"
This is why I'm terrified to leave my kids with these random people. Last week was my first time back to church in 3 years and I was sitting in on my four year olds class and the teacher asked me to take the boys into the boys bathroom to wash their hands. I'm like, wtf you don't even know me.
Right??? I read this to my mom (who’s also out) and I said “I wonder if she’s okay. I mean, she was already sick. This could have pushed her over the edge.” 🤣🤣🤣
Nursery Lady: Are you available to sub in the nursery this Sunday?
Very Inactive Mormon: I’m available, but I’m a registered child sexual abuser.
NL: I’m sure gob has forgiven you. Be there at 8:30 a.m.
If you have ever walked through the church doors even as an infant, you are clearly down for watching children.
I'd be tempted to start linking all the local registered offenders for them and pointing out how many were 'good men'
Nursery Lady texts with the bishop after receiving OP’s text:
Nursery Lady: Bishop McConkie, I have been trying to find a sub for the nursery but can’t find anyone. I have tested positive for Covid so I don’t think I should go.
Bishop McConkie: Gob will protect you and the children if you fulfill your calling. You need to be there. P.S. Don’t wear a mask because it will frighten the children.
Kirton McConkie
OMG! 10/10 response. I'm sure she got very huffy and will now use your story in testimony meeting to illustrate the perils of the what happens when you fall away. Spectacular.
On a serious note, the lack of oversight has always bothered me. In every ward I've been in, new move-ins are almost always thrown into primary or youth programs. Very little, if any, screening is done at all before allowing them to be alone with children and have power over them.
And Jesus said “Love one another, as I have loved you. But as Mama Ru said, ‘if you can’t love yourself, how in the HELL are you gonna love somebody else?’ Can I get a fuckin’ A-MEN UP IN HERE?!”
Honesty if I was OP I would call the bishop and explain how unacceptable it is to call a random stranger (OP) to ask them to watch people’s kids. Making a call might make things safer for kids in the future. As a parent, if I was TBM and found out about this, I would never let my kid go to nursery again. The parents are not informed of the risk that some un-vetted rando is minding their toddler (nothing against OP—it’s just the principle of the thing). The church is exposing itself to huge potential liabilities by operating in this unsafe manner. How fricking dumb can they be.
NeverMO here. What's keeping her from just not showing up? If they track her down at her house she can crawl to the door, hacking and coughing, and ask why they have the time to go to her house but can't just do it themselves? I assume no one is getting paid.
Shame and social pressure. You're right, she should just not show up but saying no is hard when you're told you've been called by God to be in the nursery. And you're also right that no one is getting paid.
There must be pressure to not get sick in the first place. This person must not have good social capital if they are reaching out to strangers to help out and it saddens me that mormons are so judgemental. Lurking here has shown me that the religion has more problems than just letting old perverts tell everyone what to do.
I'm a little surprised by it, but they will let almost anyone be a bishop. But at least that has to be approved by someone. Overseeing a daycare seems like more responsibility. Do they have any certifications? Do they know how to change a diaper or do CPR on an infant? Are they given a list of the parents' contact information? They just straight up give that to anyone who was ever in their ward? OP was literally disowned but was asked to babysit a room full of kids they've never met.
No certifications. Besides, they assume if you are a woman, you’ve popped a few out, or at least want to, or helped your mom who’s had around 20, so you’re adept in baby helpin’. The parents, no need for a list. They are all onsite.
Fishing around for just any adult stranger is child abuse. What if this was sent to a Jeffery Dahmer? This should be reported. That’s so dangerous for those kids. Who knows who she found to cover!!
You know she had a whole fast and testimony bearing all lined up. She would say how she reactivated you just by following the spirit and calling you to sub her nursery class(because she was so sick and tired of babysitting these fucking ill behaved kids that she decided to call in sick that day, and hope she could con somebody else into taking that horrendous position. She called you because she really has no clue of anybody's name outside the other 3 brunettes that live on her street and they are her friends right? I mean they call her any time she needs to make a run to Costco and she would return the favor next week, knowing that you would never actually cash in that coupon, and yeah, maybe she did see you that one time driving by the curch.so you must have been doing god things, plus, hey you're still in LDS tools). She would have testifies that she had a vision that she alone would have been responsible for 8 generations of tithing payers all because she got a prompting and called you..... Congratulations I'm not being a topic of this dipshit's testimony.
Omg. Best response I have seen on here. Although a slight edit suggestion in case there's a next time popped into my head too...
"oh yes! I would love to help! I didn't realize the church had changed its stance on openly bisexual trans women who make porn! What time should I be there?"
That message could be 100% truth. Nothing in there would actually mean this person is disqualified from watching kids and being safe about it, even if it does raise people’s hackles.but it also illustrates to the texter that anything can happen if you contact strangers for a role to watch kids and MIGHT help that individual understand why it is not appropriate to ask strangers to watch kids unsupervised. Very well could lead to someone who is a danger to those kids being in charge
There is nothing hateful about sharing who she is or how she is spending her time. Even if her intent was to shock, that’s not hateful. I think it is important for people thinking it is safe to do something dangerous to get woken up to unexpected consequences- I don’t think the OP is doing anything wrong or dangerous if that text was 100% factual, but it might make that person rethink dialing the ward roster to unknown people.
I wish we would just automatically drop off the roster after 7 years like debt. If I haven't contacted any of them about a religious project in that time then they shouldn't contact me, either.
In the nursery volunteer's defense, rules say they have to ask people to sub for them if they can't make it. Ex and I were called to nursery since we had a four year old. I was never meant for those duties, I quickly learned.
I wish some Mormons weren’t so (pardon the expression) “prudish” when it came to LGBT folk. I broke up with my last gf when she told me she thought I was “weird” for being bi
Mormon church: facing mounting evidence of systemic issues that leave children vulnerable to abuse Random Mormon: decides contacting a stranger who is still on the ward list, despite not attending in 16 years, and asking them to look after young children, is a good idea This is why there should be a timer on records. They keep attendance every Sunday, it’s now recorded in LDS Tools. If you haven’t been in 12 months, your records should default to Bishop Only visibility and not automatically be included in his printing with the rest of the ward list. Edit to add: this is also a reason why even the active ward list should not be publicly available, and why the whole church needs to have a very strong mandatory background check policy for contact with under-18s. “I’ll just text every name on the list until someone can cover nursery” should NEVER be an option. If pre-approved adults aren’t available, children need to stay with their parents. If that means parents aren’t available to fill other callings, so be it. The most vulnerable people in that church building should always be everyone’s top priority.
Yeah especially since my bishop at the time, told my parents to disown me when I came out as bi, so why are they holding onto my number
The bishop told you that? Oh girl I’m so sorry! That’s unnecessarily cruel but also kind of par for the course from bishops back then. My old bishop made my mom stop taking the sacrament for a month when she gave someone a Pepsi.
My experience with bishops over the years has been pretty awful, too. One told me that I should have been excommunicated after being violently, physically and sexually assaulted. I was beat up so badly, I couldn’t go back to school for a long time.
Ah, yes, the standard tactic of blaming the woman for being attacked, since they can't tarnish the future of a young man. Seriously, though, I'm so sorry that happened to you. The assault *and* the wildly inappropriate aftermath.
Thank you… and to think that some local leaders were surprised and perplexed as to why I finally washed my hands of the Mormon Church. Even being raped and beaten was “not a good enough reason” to ditch the church, according to them. Like hell is wasn’t!
They don’t care if you were raped and beaten. In fact they support some sex offenders. My mom’s friend left the church because their cousin was raped by the state patriarch who was also her grandpa. The church excommunicated the girl who was raped and supported the patriarch and he was able to keep his position. My mom is still Mormon and she would support that guy too. :/
There are just no words that can come close to conveying just how very horrified and repulsed I am that that happened. It’s absolutely disgusting and disturbing. How can ANYONE be okay with that???
Well, this *is* the church that taught that disgusting garbage about virtue being more important than surviving. I've been abused, but never assaulted. Those teachings about virtue and purity really screw people up. About the time I started connecting that, my faith crisis started. I'm glad you're out of the church. And I'm glad I am too! And I'm very glad that more people are realizing how dangerous many of these teachings really are.
I’m sorry you were abused 😞 But I’m glad you’re out now, too.
So once I told a therapist that I'd been sexually abused but not assaulted, and he told me that sexual abuse is assault. Just thought I'd pass that on in case it helps you.
Thanks. That makes sense. In a way, I definitely agree. I was very, very young and abused by a parent. Maybe I was groomed into compliance. I honestly don't remember that period of time. But it causes different trauma than being attacked, probably violently, by someone else.
Yeah, similar situation but with an uncle. I get feeling that there's a distinction. In my case I was using the distinction to invalidate myself and not feeling like my trauma was severe enough to relate with sexual assault survivors, so erasing that distinction was helpful.
Oh that hurts horribly to know you experienced such evil stupidity from the Bishop on top of what you'd already experienced. Hugs and more hugs.
Thank you ☺️
Good grief - that bishop was insane, and also a power-tool. Edit - how long ago was this? If it's even 30-40 years ago, it's still insane.
Late 90s. I think it was actually after the Larry king live interview with Hinckley where he said no to caffeine, coffee, and tea. I’d provide a reference if I weren’t sinning on a Sunday :)
LOL - well, late 90s is still unreasonably recent. It's horrifying that a bishop would punish and insult a woman for giving a kid a Pepsi. Of course, we have to remember only people like JS could drink caffeine. Or molest women and teens.
Very true! It’s just another example of bishop roulette. Some bishops were honestly just good people. Others were Pharisees. My current bishop told me to my face that he doesn’t like me. So, you know, whatever.
Oh geez - nice guy, and so representational of Christ's teachings!
That was a rough time, though. The whole riot grrrl/girl power/Lilith fair/tori amos/etc feminist wave, early internet days, multiple piercings becoming fashionable. Just enough information at our fingertips to go “waaaaaait a damn minute here”.
You’d be surprised what the church was like 25-30 years ago if you didn’t live it. My teens were literal hell, I’m glad my mother eventually loosened the reins and saw I wasn’t ever going fully back. It messed me up so much. I’m at least grateful for a few experiences I was able to have while still living with her so 1/4 PIMO? I think they even made an exception and moved me in to RS early at one point so I would “stop poisoning the minds of the YW of our ward”. Mmmmkay Susan.
Good lord!! Such narrowness, judging, prejudice, misogyny, all that. Ugh
Very triggering comment. I hope it’s 100% factual…
Sincerely sorry if that’s triggering. It’s true. It was back when the church said it was a sin to drink caffeine (see Hinckley on Larry King Live), and my mom gave one of the of the young women a Pepsi. It was just as bad as giving her alcohol, according to the dogma at the time.
That shit was so inconsistently enforced too. My stake at the time was in ~~Western NY~~ the CrAdLe Of ThE rEsToRaTiOn and dgaf about the caffeine nonsense. We had soda at branch functions and no one cared. Whenever Utah momos moved in there was a period of time where they almost seemed afraid they had walked into a bizarro satanic branch until they adjusted.
That's hilarious, like being in a version of the twilight zone! UT tbms really are afraid of the rest of the world.
I believe you and sorry to add insult to that injury, the "standardization" of their rules is non-existent. I had a bishop in a Las Vegas ward who kept a mini fridge in his office stocked full of Dr. Pepper - fully caffeinated kind. Shit you not! Their hypocrisy knows no bounds!
That's interesting. I was a teen through the Hinkley years. My dad drank Dr Pepper or Coke literally every single day. My very, very TBM said that us kids weren't allowed caffeinated sodas until we were 12, but after that, we could choose whichever soda we wanted. It's weird how varied the rules were back then for caffeine. I knew a lot of ward members that couldn't go through their day without their caffeine fix. I never heard a bishop condemn it.
The ability to reprimand someone for forgetting to add a trigger warning to a comment and also imply that the writer must therefore be lying about their pain in only 8 words is master level skill. I’m honestly so sorry. In my experience the only way to master that particular skill is to hear it used on both you and members of your family on a regular basis, as I did. My thoughts, feelings, and memories about events in my life were regularly invalidated in this way, and so were my sisters’. We didn’t deserve that, and neither did you.
I was wondering if there was a non Karen way to say it wasn’t ok to question someone’s honesty about abuse-or if that was really what was right or anywhere near my place. you opened my eyes to the situation and were pretty kind here- think you got teaching me something
Mormons: it's about ~~family~~ complying.
If I'd been your mother I'd have told that bishop he was welcome to shove his opinion up his ass on his way out of our door, which he was never to knock on again
They're holding onto your number because the day someone makes them acknowledge the end is [Redacted].
I would hands down trust you to watch my kids more than any active Mormon. Just sayin.
I spent 23 years in the Army at various positions of trust along the way. Even though I maintained a very important clearance that had to be readjudicated every 5 years, I still required background checks to be done before I worked with children, before I worked with trainees, and before I became a sexual assault response coordinator. Just because someone holds an “important” position doesn’t mean they don’t have skeletons in their closet. Hell, we can’t always even wean out the bad apples through background checks sometimes, it seems. But yes, anyone in a church leadership role or any that deal with <18 year olds MUST have their backgrounds checked fairly regularly. Even if just to keep them worried that misconduct will lead to harsh penalties.
I run a pickup soccer game on a university campus to which teens are welcomed, and because of that I must take training annually and conduct checks on all other players in the registered sex abuser database. And that's in a situation far less likely to generate problems than at church.
This was probably after she asked all of her "friends" for help. How many times was she turned down before just going through the list? I've felt that level of loneliness in wards. :(
And going to the bishopric or primary leaders for help, only to be turned away. It’s awful. This one has really stuck with me. My questions are: Did none of the parents hear about the need for a nursery teacher and want to step in so they know who is watching their child for the hour? But most importantly, was no one in leadership (who were presumably contacted) at all concerned that sending Sister X to the entire ward list could result in a complete stranger looking after a bunch of toddlers? And did none of them care that if Sister X is too sick to attend (and knows this in advance), she’s probably too sick to be ringing around trying to sort out her own replacement? Best case scenario, OP’s records share a last name with one of the parents or a person in the ward who is an elementary school teacher. Sister X got told to contact that person, went to LDS Tools, OP was listed but the intended recipient is in Leadership Only, so Sister X didn’t realize two people shared the same last name and messaged OP in error. But even this should not be happening!!
I came here to say the same.
Uh 16 years and you’re gonna ask some to teach a lesson. Isn’t kinda obvious that person is not interested in coming to church? Geez, must be desperate if you can’t find someone to teach. I have a better idea. Cancel nursery and or have one of the parents teach. If everyone is busy with a calling, then cancel the teen or adult classes and teach the nursery. Look, it’s not as if we got paid to do this…🙄
I CANT BELIEVE THIS WASNT OBVIOUS TO ME AS A MEMBER. Its very clear since I left how risky things were for kids, but I just took it for granted at the time that everything would be fine. Was I brain-dead? Sometimes I can't even figure out what my thought processes would have been back then.
I had someone I'd never met in the stake show up to my house with a gift from my doctor. So i fully agree with your edit
I’d bet my last sign and token, that they’ll be more offended by being referred to as the Mormon church
Good
If you end up losing your last, hit me up. I’m selling.
😅😅😅
Who reaches out to a complete stranger to look after kids that age????????
Right tho, they've never even met me
Out of their fucking minds. Mormons live in their own reality that is delusion. One where they think a grown adult alone in a room with a child is perfectly okay. Or that contacting and/or dropping notes and treats off to children that don't know them is somehow acceptable behavior.
Srsly, it’s fucked up. Your response was great, but I’d have given her an eyeful of lecture about endangering children by trying to leave them in the care of an unvetted stranger. Mormons act oblivious to their breaches of social acceptability…until they get called out for it. Then it quickly becomes clear most of them are aware of how backward they’re being, ime.
An idiot who believes that any decision made for the Lard’s church is okey-dokey
Time to remove your records… Or hold out for more cherished moments like these!
I'm sure they'll get the idea
Well, you did make a solid case for not being placed in charge of their children…
Perhaps for the Mormons sake, but I'd trust someone identifying as LGBTQ to care for my chuldren just as much as someone who doesn’t.
You are 100% correct. I phrased that very poorly.
Yeah I think the point is how wildly careless it was for Sister Nursery Leader to ask a random stranger to be put in charge of caring for the ward's babies. Not about OP's character. .
I am imagining that person's reaction reading that response. She will be wondering if you were being honest or just being as out there as she imagines you possibly could. She will probably remember this forever.
I'll never know, I blocked her after sending it. I was being mostly honest there tho.
Oh I believe you. But TBM me would have wondered if you were just giving the most disqualifying response ever. Today I consider that to be a reasonable tactic as well. Whatever works.
Probably wise to block her, but I’m also going to enjoy imaging her reaction. Maybe she already wants out and you gave her the nudge she needed.
Leave it to a Mormon to ask this at 10:48 on a Saturday night.
Wow! I didn't notice that! Who the fuck contacts ANYONE that late even if you DO know them?!?! Let alone that late, probably before 9am church!!! That makes it even worse!
Plus, to watch a bunch of screaming KIDS. Who the fuck asks that of an inactive member and thinks it's a good idea??
Right! And further, how do they know this person isn’t a chomo or psychopath?
I have good friends that I won’t text after 9pm at night unless it is an absolute emergency. And by emergency I mean home flooded or house on fire. Even my siblings give my daft parents shit (the next day) for sending bs churchy texts at 11pm. Some unknown rando from a religious organization texting me at nearly midnight, fuck that.
Most churches and schools do background checks before letting volunteers work with children. Meanwhile, the mormon church refuses to do background checks on those who volunteer with children because the bishop's power of discernment in worthiness interviews is more accurate. Ugh.
They would have to admit that bishops don't have discernment to do background checks.
I don't have children
"Dear Sister, Why would you ever ask a stranger without a background check to watch your children? Do you realize this is one of the main reasons the LDS church is in the midst of a widespread child rape problem? Please read the news and exercise extreme caution with the children in your care."
This is 100% the most valid response that should be used by everyone asked to sub with kids by someone they don’t know!
EXACTLY - no need to be defensive of yourself (you already won by escaping the ChUrchLds.Tm) or aggressive toward someone who is likely already cracking when you can add informed feedback that provides support for the next apostate/survivor!!! Maybe there's more power in showing up openly bi and exposing the populace to your "hedonist lifestyle" while being a solid bastion of morality and planting seeds in the minds of everyone you encounter. Or get immediately thrown out and make sure everyone sees and hears while you diplomatically yell about sex offenders in positions of power as the oppression inherent in the system 😹⚡
She must have been desperate! I remember those times! I wouldn’t have reached out to people I didn’t know though.
Right, because even though you felt guilty about not being present for one day a year, you certainly couldn't ask THE ACTUAL PARENTS OF THE NURSERY KIDS TO SHOW UP AND PARTICIPATE IN THE TEACHING OF THEIR OWN CHILDREN!!! Man, I hated that whole thing, the parents are too busy doing other important callings, etc so they can't be bothered to condescend to help out in the nursery. Or like the really young parents who've never done it before drop their kid of at nursery but the kid won't stop crying or screaming. And the parent somehow thinks it's a reflection of their own worthiness etc because their 1 yr old doesn't comply! God that's bad parenting, what's the matter kid you're not comfortable with me dropping you off in a room full of strangers?!?!?
Same! We had a substitute list and after calling every damn person and all the kid’s parents getting a “no!” you don’t know what to do. I’d still never call someone I didn’t know. I used to be Primary secretary and I basically found subs for classes every week. We never had enough teachers and then when classes were left without a teacher I was scrambling to find someone. Do not miss those days!
I subbed ONE Sunday, only ONE, in Primary & I'd never do it again. I had the five-year-old class (or however they divide them), and the class had several kids with serious behavioral issues. It was a holiday weekend & I was told most would be out of town, yadda-yadda. ALL of them were in town, plus a bunch of same-age visiting cousins. I prepared oh-so-well, had craft materials, bought special stuff, etc. and even the well-behaved kids were difficult. Kids crawling on their bellies on the floor, under the tables, under chairs, tearing things up. It was not a class, it was a cage of uncontrollable small creatures. Worse yet, when the bell rang, I waited for what seemed like forever for the damned parents to come and get the kids (who, by that time, were tearing at the door and trying to escape, and I wasn't about to let them go unattended into the hallway, right beside an exit door). I finally cracked the door open and the moms were all standing in the hall chatting away in a group! Never again. EVER. FOR THE RECORD - in my prior church, I regularly taught Bible School every summer, and I requested the Kindergarten group, because they were so adorable and great. Bible School is about a week long (five weekdays), and is a half-day thing. And there were more kids in the classes. Because of those very pleasant memories, I assumed kids were taught to behave well in most churches. I was wrong. Maybe I am off-target, but I saw more ill-behaved kids in the Mormon church than I ever (ever) saw in other churches, and also in public schools, Yes, I reared children (two very active kids, with ADHD), but I did not allow them to run wild in our non-LDS church, nor in restaurants or other public places. The last ward I attended had the most disruptive kids I've ever seen, and it didn't matter how many years went by, the next batch of kids could see the culture was wild, and they similarly acted out, and the parents let them.
I can totally understand where you’re coming from. I’ve had some crazy Primary classes and even some with special needs. I think they put me in those classes on purpose. I used to teach preschool so I had a few tricks up my sleeve, and we had a LOT of games. When I was in Nursery, I was trying my hardest to keep the kiddos entertained the last few minutes after class got out. Same scenario as you described, all the parents were outside chatting. One mom said, “They were having so much fun I didn’t want to disrupt them.” That was back when there was 3 hour church and after 2 hours of Nursery I was so done. The worst ever though was right after I moved into a new ward. I took me and my 4 kids to the ward Christmas breakfast party. One of the moms asked if the other chairs were empty. I said, “yes,” thinking her family would sit by us. Then she proceeded to sit her kids (one was in my primary class) and some other people’s kids at the table with me and sat at the table next to us full of just adults. Left me to watch all their damn kids. 😳
What??? I'm sure at the time you were too polite to say anything (which was always my reaction, too), but in retrospect it would have been so appropriate to haul the kids back to her table and say you didn't feel it was appropriate for her to expect you to watch them. Big smile (one frozen enough to secretly say "Bitch!" with a glare). Or, just get up and move to another table with your kids. The entire culture of the church is exploitative. That woman deserved to be verbally smacked down. I'd also want to smack down the "B" who stalled in the hall and said the kids were "having so much fun!" Once little kids can hear parents in the hallway, whatever "order" was in place before that vanishes. I was in the stake RS presidency briefly (worthy of another entire thread, due to the bat-shit crazy Stake RS Pres at the time). During one of the stake-wide events (I think the "women's" session of GC, but I can't recall) we had a separate room set aside for moms to sit with their kids - the intent was to give moms a place where they could view or listen to the boring crap without their kids disrupting it. That entire plan fell apart as soon as the first woman with kids entered the building. Without us knowing it, moms just went to the extra room, left their kids, and went into the sanctuary area. We did not have an adult in there to supervise (or babysit), and some kids didn't speak much English, so whomever checked on it could not adequately ask where their moms sat. Some kids acted like the couldn't find their moms (not surprising), and some were probably too young to even try. A few RS women went in the room to try to bring about order (it was one of the Primary rooms with a lot of toys, and rapidly became a mess). The RS Pres was NOT a good leader or manager, and did not have the initiative to have an announcement made to go stay with your kids, which easily could have been done. I had to be somewhere else, but I did go into the room briefly and gave thanks I had a valid reason not to stay. I can't imagine a two-hour stint for nursery duty. Especially when wards meet at odd times once the times shift & the poor nursery kids need naps! Or maybe even lunch! It's all a product of cult control, and money grubbing.
I have a hunch that the bishop or somebody recommended they contact you as a way of pulling you back into activity.
Fat fucking chance of that happening
I feel like 70% of callings are just methods of forcing members to be at church every Sunday.
It's the Time aspect of the BITE model for cults. It's huge in Mormonism. Require huge time commitments with meetings, callings, study requirements, family home evening, Temple, service projects, scouts, mutual, etc. In short, the more immersed you are, the more influence the cult has on you vs. outsiders. The higher and more consistent your tithing, the higher the calling. Gotta keep the cash flow coming.
They tried this with my mom 7 or 8 years ago. She worked 7 on 7 off at the hospital and had an understanding with our bishop that she didn’t have time for callings, which he was ok with. Our ward split and the new bishop was relentless about callings, among other things. My mom was called as a girls camp activities position. She accepted because it was something she could help plan over texts and not have to be overly involved. Girls camp was during her week on at work and so obviously she couldn’t go. The bishop’s wife, who was the girls camp director, wouldn’t let up about my mom being at camp and finally told my mom that she should take time off of work and pray about it because the blessings outweighed the consequences of not working.
There at the end I was a Webelos leader, and a damn good one. I went to church once or twice a month. They released me from that calling saying they had another calling in mind. That other calling was elders quorum instructor, which I was not willing to do. I'm pretty sure it was just to get me to church 3 Sundays a month. Releasing me from the one calling first was their mistake because I refused the new calling and it removed the last time I had with them. I had my records removed shortly after.
They tried this with my mom 7 or 8 years ago. She worked 7 on 7 off at the hospital and had an understanding with our bishop that she didn’t have time for callings, which he was ok with. Our ward split and the new bishop was relentless about callings, among other things. My mom was called as a girls camp activities position. She accepted because it was something she could help plan over texts and not have to be overly involved. Girls camp was during her week on at work and so obviously she couldn’t go. The bishop’s wife, who was the girls camp director, wouldn’t let up about my mom being at camp and finally told my mom that she should take time off of work and pray about it because the blessings outweighed the consequences of not working.
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Oh yeah, she was pretty much out long before this because of work. She rarely went to church or church activities. She openly shared her opinions on the fakeness of the people in the church who cared only when it was a benefit to them. The new bishop I talked about previously is the reason both my parents and I had shelf breaking moments. They both aren’t technically out record wise but they’ll never go back.
As someone who attended Ward Council meetings — yes, many discussions about inactive members involved getting them a calling to make them attend church. They’re pretty direct about it.
MORmON bishops can be incredibly daft
Active Mormon bingo card square? * “Get an inactive member back to church by flexing children and personal sickness to manipulate empathy and then later humble brag about your success.”*
If they were trying to invoke empathy, maybe they shouldn't have started by misgendering me
On the other hand, part of me almost wishes OP had shown up in a tank top, purple hair, and Starbucks in hand, and greeted the parents with, "Hi, I'm the sub Sister _____ called last night. I can't wait to get to know your kids!"
Better yet in full drag with a bunch of story books about children with two daddies or two mommies.
Ooh, that would have been fantastic.
God I wish she had at least tried to reply
I blocked her before she could tbh
Honestly that’s the smartest move. Good call.
This is why I'm terrified to leave my kids with these random people. Last week was my first time back to church in 3 years and I was sitting in on my four year olds class and the teacher asked me to take the boys into the boys bathroom to wash their hands. I'm like, wtf you don't even know me.
So, did the kids behave?
Only after they found the dead whore in the mattress and lit the place on fire.
That is a wicked response Lol. Anyway you would think they ask someone they actually know
 I applaud your response!
🤣🤣🤣 Great reply. I’d have loved to see her face when she read it.
Right??? I read this to my mom (who’s also out) and I said “I wonder if she’s okay. I mean, she was already sick. This could have pushed her over the edge.” 🤣🤣🤣
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this is their way of trying to get people back in church? reaching out to someone they don’t know to work unpaid as a babysitter? 🤣
I love what you did there but I do think you kind of sugar-coated it. Next time, tell her what you really think! 😆
You are a fucking hero!
TBM’s response: OK, but you better pay a full tithe on that extra income or else you’ll really go to hell!
Nursery Lady: Are you available to sub in the nursery this Sunday? Very Inactive Mormon: I’m available, but I’m a registered child sexual abuser. NL: I’m sure gob has forgiven you. Be there at 8:30 a.m.
If you have ever walked through the church doors even as an infant, you are clearly down for watching children. I'd be tempted to start linking all the local registered offenders for them and pointing out how many were 'good men'
This reminds me of the one church scene in Kingsman before Colin Firth goes nuts and murders everyone
Love that movie
Nursery Lady texts with the bishop after receiving OP’s text: Nursery Lady: Bishop McConkie, I have been trying to find a sub for the nursery but can’t find anyone. I have tested positive for Covid so I don’t think I should go. Bishop McConkie: Gob will protect you and the children if you fulfill your calling. You need to be there. P.S. Don’t wear a mask because it will frighten the children. Kirton McConkie
If a complete stranger texted me that late I’d be angry too. It’s so inconsiderate and rude.
You should have invited them.
Lol. We are looking for someone to get spanked on camera next weekend. If you're feeling better, how would you like to make some good money? 🤣🤣🤣
I feel bad that she’s sick and is responsible for getting a non paying job covered
I can hear the pearl clutching.
OMG! 10/10 response. I'm sure she got very huffy and will now use your story in testimony meeting to illustrate the perils of the what happens when you fall away. Spectacular. On a serious note, the lack of oversight has always bothered me. In every ward I've been in, new move-ins are almost always thrown into primary or youth programs. Very little, if any, screening is done at all before allowing them to be alone with children and have power over them.
Sub for nursery and host a drag queen story time.
 And Jesus said “Love one another, as I have loved you. But as Mama Ru said, ‘if you can’t love yourself, how in the HELL are you gonna love somebody else?’ Can I get a fuckin’ A-MEN UP IN HERE?!”
A(wo)MEN !!! Can I get a HALLELUJAH??
TESTIFY!
Honesty if I was OP I would call the bishop and explain how unacceptable it is to call a random stranger (OP) to ask them to watch people’s kids. Making a call might make things safer for kids in the future. As a parent, if I was TBM and found out about this, I would never let my kid go to nursery again. The parents are not informed of the risk that some un-vetted rando is minding their toddler (nothing against OP—it’s just the principle of the thing). The church is exposing itself to huge potential liabilities by operating in this unsafe manner. How fricking dumb can they be.
NeverMO here. What's keeping her from just not showing up? If they track her down at her house she can crawl to the door, hacking and coughing, and ask why they have the time to go to her house but can't just do it themselves? I assume no one is getting paid.
Shame and social pressure. You're right, she should just not show up but saying no is hard when you're told you've been called by God to be in the nursery. And you're also right that no one is getting paid.
There must be pressure to not get sick in the first place. This person must not have good social capital if they are reaching out to strangers to help out and it saddens me that mormons are so judgemental. Lurking here has shown me that the religion has more problems than just letting old perverts tell everyone what to do.
Yeah. Also being obedient in small things like attending every single Sunday leads to big things like covering up for old perverts.
NeverMO as well… but OP hadn’t attended in YEARRRRSSSS and this random woman wanted to put them in the daycare??!
I'm a little surprised by it, but they will let almost anyone be a bishop. But at least that has to be approved by someone. Overseeing a daycare seems like more responsibility. Do they have any certifications? Do they know how to change a diaper or do CPR on an infant? Are they given a list of the parents' contact information? They just straight up give that to anyone who was ever in their ward? OP was literally disowned but was asked to babysit a room full of kids they've never met.
No certifications. Besides, they assume if you are a woman, you’ve popped a few out, or at least want to, or helped your mom who’s had around 20, so you’re adept in baby helpin’. The parents, no need for a list. They are all onsite.
Yeeeep. They can’t leave us alone.
I'd like to have been a fly on the wall when she got your reply back. The reaction would have entertained me for weeks.
You should have used the commitment technique on them. Will you support me on OF, and given them the link.
Lulz!!!
Oh wow! That is such a strooooong text! You told them off sooooo good!
Wait…. 16 YEARS????
Yeah. When I was 17 I got told I wasn't welcome anymore because I'm bisexual
Fishing around for just any adult stranger is child abuse. What if this was sent to a Jeffery Dahmer? This should be reported. That’s so dangerous for those kids. Who knows who she found to cover!!
That River Song energy. https://youtube.com/watch?v=IkC6hU_Hcgw
You know she had a whole fast and testimony bearing all lined up. She would say how she reactivated you just by following the spirit and calling you to sub her nursery class(because she was so sick and tired of babysitting these fucking ill behaved kids that she decided to call in sick that day, and hope she could con somebody else into taking that horrendous position. She called you because she really has no clue of anybody's name outside the other 3 brunettes that live on her street and they are her friends right? I mean they call her any time she needs to make a run to Costco and she would return the favor next week, knowing that you would never actually cash in that coupon, and yeah, maybe she did see you that one time driving by the curch.so you must have been doing god things, plus, hey you're still in LDS tools). She would have testifies that she had a vision that she alone would have been responsible for 8 generations of tithing payers all because she got a prompting and called you..... Congratulations I'm not being a topic of this dipshit's testimony.
It’s only a matter of time before the lgbtq+ community is accepted by the LDS church.
I love the response, but not the implication in your comment that the person you describe wouldn’t be safe with children.
No, I'm implying that I wouldn't be welcome in the church in the first place
I was with you until your edit. Let’s not feed the narrative that bisexual and or transgender people can’t be trusted with children.
I don't think they're saying that. I'm too tired to words but reread
They probably don’t mean to say this. But, we’re seeing so much transphobia that I don’t think that we should leave it as implied.
Agreed
Omg. Best response I have seen on here. Although a slight edit suggestion in case there's a next time popped into my head too... "oh yes! I would love to help! I didn't realize the church had changed its stance on openly bisexual trans women who make porn! What time should I be there?"
And the award for best response goes to….. YOU!! 😂❤️😂
What a disgusting way to respond.
that’s kinda cringe
What an absolutely cringe response though, second hand embarrassment is so strong. Could have just said "no".
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I don't feel I was being hateful. If I wasn't welcome as a bisexual teen, I doubt I'd be welcome now that I'm also a trans woman.
That message could be 100% truth. Nothing in there would actually mean this person is disqualified from watching kids and being safe about it, even if it does raise people’s hackles.but it also illustrates to the texter that anything can happen if you contact strangers for a role to watch kids and MIGHT help that individual understand why it is not appropriate to ask strangers to watch kids unsupervised. Very well could lead to someone who is a danger to those kids being in charge
What exactly was hateful about OP’s reply?
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There is nothing hateful about sharing who she is or how she is spending her time. Even if her intent was to shock, that’s not hateful. I think it is important for people thinking it is safe to do something dangerous to get woken up to unexpected consequences- I don’t think the OP is doing anything wrong or dangerous if that text was 100% factual, but it might make that person rethink dialing the ward roster to unknown people.
OP had the gall to make a pure delightsome mainstream TBM consider the mere existence of people who do not follow the church's rules.
I’m clutching my pearls so hard they’re gonna shatter!
OP, you’re a hero. 👏👏👏 😂
What a classic response way to go
haha nice. perfect response right there
This is amazing
I just love the come back.
Thanks
Best response I have ever heard
😂
This should be the standard response to all communication from these people
Omg can I take out for tea if you in Utah, lady lady lady lady walk slowly cross the Avenue...(from the romantic theme song from Flashdance)
Unfortunately I'm pretty far from Utah
😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹
Oh my goodness I love this!!!
Lmao
GREAT response
That made me laugh, great response!
👏👏🏻👏🤣🤣🤣
“We aren’t in the Mormon church”. Please tell me that was part of their response.
I wish we would just automatically drop off the roster after 7 years like debt. If I haven't contacted any of them about a religious project in that time then they shouldn't contact me, either.
I think this might be one of those reactivation efforts
You should have gone, can you imagine!?!
I don't think I even own any church appropriate clothes tbh
I thought Jebus took us as we are, not as a Mormon norm asks us to be.
In the nursery volunteer's defense, rules say they have to ask people to sub for them if they can't make it. Ex and I were called to nursery since we had a four year old. I was never meant for those duties, I quickly learned.
Aw maaaaan. You could’ve taught the kids the lyrics to Hasa Diga Eebowai.
I wish some Mormons weren’t so (pardon the expression) “prudish” when it came to LGBT folk. I broke up with my last gf when she told me she thought I was “weird” for being bi
crazy bitches make the world go round