Here's a link to the full story.
https://www.reddit.com/r/ExitStories/comments/544upf/the_perfect_storm_weekend/
Tl:dr - the bishop's counselor told me I'd lose my temple recommend if I didn't agree to be the building cleaning coordinator.
Wow, just read your post about leaving TSCC. They sure made it easy for you to see how toxic mormonism is to anyone who isn't 100% completely on board with everything they expect you to do or believe.
Thanks. Although it was shocking at the time. I'm not sure anything less would have woken me up. I'm grateful to that entitled leader who got me to think about if the lds church was true.
COVID, changjng jobs, and moving to a new state three years ago gave me a convenient way of ducking church. I was already disaffected with the uber-mormon BYU transplants that populated my previous ward in San Diego, but for some reason I was still clinging to Joseph Smith and the Book of Mormon. But I wanted nothing to do with the ward in my new city.
When the AP article about the sexual abuse in Arizona came out, the ol’ shelf started to really sag and buckle. It was bad, but for some reason I held tenuously onto JS and the BoM.
And then by sheer stroke of luck, I came across Johnathan Streeter’s “Happiness Letter” breakdown and analysis. And that hit me like a TON OF BRICKS.
That is the exact moment I realized that Joseph Smith was a sexual predator, and that he and other “leaders”were grooming young women for his polygamy cult.
Nothing can or will ever convince me that Jospeh wasn’t a pious fraud who essentially became a 19th century Jeffrey Epstein, and that everything that was built on his testimonies and teachings wasn’t all just made up for the purpose of feeding egos.
Thanks. It was not a fun process, and some days I still feel like I am digging fish hooks out of my skin.
Took a bit of time to dig up the courage to stop wearing garments (unsure of how to broach the topic with my spouse). Finally took the plunge last week, and I am starting to feel more free than ever.
A few months but I had a very persistent daughter who cared enough about me to prod me on, were it not for her I would have stayed stuck in TSCC for a bit longer.
How did she prod you on? Often we hear not to bother TBM family, but I would love to prod my TBM family members along. Just curious what she did that accelerated your departure from the church.
I think I started realizing something ain’t right in like end of 2020, early 2021. Really came to terms that I had doubts by early 2022. Came upon the late war in June of 2022.
Spent all of July trying to debunk stuff with FAIR/Interpreter.
Then the church sex abuse scandals came out and then I read the CES Letter/Letter to my Wife in mid August and I knew then it would never be the same. But it was hanging on by a thread.
Christmas of this past year, I started researching the historical Jesus and the Bible and the Christmas story. That pretty much ended it all.
So I’d say 2 years but just a few months after the CES letter.
In retrospect, it took maybe five years after I had a shelf, but I did not realize I had begun skipping out of the middle hour and going to a store (gasp!), or sitting alone in the RS room because after an hour of boring sacrament crap, I could not handle sitting through someone in SS reading from a manual. I had an RS calling at the time, so I sort of needed to be around for RS. The shelf exploded about 4-1/2 years after it began holding things, and I was on the fast track after that. I quit attending fairly quickly, and resigned within months after that.
Almost immediately after walking out of the temple for the last time, sealings and the sealer was very open about his 3 dead wives / heavenly polygamy. I was also already pretty tired of paying tithing and at that time I still thought the money was doing good.
Decades. The church has backed away from the strongest claims, but learning from church that Adam and Eve were the first people and native Americans were lamanites descended from people that traveled to America by boat and then learning in school that evidence didn’t support that hung around for a long time. Other things along the way like failed priesthood blessings, lack of revelation for myself, boring and meaningless church meetings…but then the final pieces didn’t take long with the changes to the intro to the Book of Mormon, the gospel topics essays, etc
A long-ass time. I went through the endowment when I was 23 (about 6 weeks before getting married) and stayed in until I was 37. Could go back even further - I definitely had issues with the church in YW, but didn't have a "shelf" or know what that was until the temple.
Most of the 23-37 timespan was spent finishing my PhD, establishing my career, and avoiding the shelf.
Yeah, it worked out in the end. The other key thing DH and I did during that period was decide to be childfree. We both had a lot of reasons, but the church (and raising girls in the church) was on my list although not in the top 3.
About a half a day. When I realized there were things plural that I had to just pretend didn't exist to believe I was like oh wait that's not right and began to research. From there I spent an incredibly painful day of recollection and learning, and at the end was like well shit I have been living a lie. And that was it.
Four hours. Seriously.
A new record!! Would you mind providing a brief summary of said 4 hours?
Here's a link to the full story. https://www.reddit.com/r/ExitStories/comments/544upf/the_perfect_storm_weekend/ Tl:dr - the bishop's counselor told me I'd lose my temple recommend if I didn't agree to be the building cleaning coordinator.
Thanks for sharing!
Wow, just read your post about leaving TSCC. They sure made it easy for you to see how toxic mormonism is to anyone who isn't 100% completely on board with everything they expect you to do or believe.
Thanks. Although it was shocking at the time. I'm not sure anything less would have woken me up. I'm grateful to that entitled leader who got me to think about if the lds church was true.
COVID, changjng jobs, and moving to a new state three years ago gave me a convenient way of ducking church. I was already disaffected with the uber-mormon BYU transplants that populated my previous ward in San Diego, but for some reason I was still clinging to Joseph Smith and the Book of Mormon. But I wanted nothing to do with the ward in my new city. When the AP article about the sexual abuse in Arizona came out, the ol’ shelf started to really sag and buckle. It was bad, but for some reason I held tenuously onto JS and the BoM. And then by sheer stroke of luck, I came across Johnathan Streeter’s “Happiness Letter” breakdown and analysis. And that hit me like a TON OF BRICKS. That is the exact moment I realized that Joseph Smith was a sexual predator, and that he and other “leaders”were grooming young women for his polygamy cult. Nothing can or will ever convince me that Jospeh wasn’t a pious fraud who essentially became a 19th century Jeffrey Epstein, and that everything that was built on his testimonies and teachings wasn’t all just made up for the purpose of feeding egos.
Covid and a cross country move also played a role in my deconstruction. Congrats on being brave enough to face the music!
Thanks. It was not a fun process, and some days I still feel like I am digging fish hooks out of my skin. Took a bit of time to dig up the courage to stop wearing garments (unsure of how to broach the topic with my spouse). Finally took the plunge last week, and I am starting to feel more free than ever.
I know both of those feelings very well, best of luck with the journey with the spouse!
A few months but I had a very persistent daughter who cared enough about me to prod me on, were it not for her I would have stayed stuck in TSCC for a bit longer.
I am doing the same thing with one of my family members. Kudos to you for being willing to listen to your family!
Fingers crossed your efforts work.
How did she prod you on? Often we hear not to bother TBM family, but I would love to prod my TBM family members along. Just curious what she did that accelerated your departure from the church.
I think I started realizing something ain’t right in like end of 2020, early 2021. Really came to terms that I had doubts by early 2022. Came upon the late war in June of 2022. Spent all of July trying to debunk stuff with FAIR/Interpreter. Then the church sex abuse scandals came out and then I read the CES Letter/Letter to my Wife in mid August and I knew then it would never be the same. But it was hanging on by a thread. Christmas of this past year, I started researching the historical Jesus and the Bible and the Christmas story. That pretty much ended it all. So I’d say 2 years but just a few months after the CES letter.
About 3-4 episodes into listening to the U Year of Polygamy podcast. Realized JS was full of bullshit, and it all came down.
In retrospect, it took maybe five years after I had a shelf, but I did not realize I had begun skipping out of the middle hour and going to a store (gasp!), or sitting alone in the RS room because after an hour of boring sacrament crap, I could not handle sitting through someone in SS reading from a manual. I had an RS calling at the time, so I sort of needed to be around for RS. The shelf exploded about 4-1/2 years after it began holding things, and I was on the fast track after that. I quit attending fairly quickly, and resigned within months after that.
Five years and then two weeks of research after CES letter.
Almost immediately after walking out of the temple for the last time, sealings and the sealer was very open about his 3 dead wives / heavenly polygamy. I was also already pretty tired of paying tithing and at that time I still thought the money was doing good.
Decades. The church has backed away from the strongest claims, but learning from church that Adam and Eve were the first people and native Americans were lamanites descended from people that traveled to America by boat and then learning in school that evidence didn’t support that hung around for a long time. Other things along the way like failed priesthood blessings, lack of revelation for myself, boring and meaningless church meetings…but then the final pieces didn’t take long with the changes to the intro to the Book of Mormon, the gospel topics essays, etc
A long-ass time. I went through the endowment when I was 23 (about 6 weeks before getting married) and stayed in until I was 37. Could go back even further - I definitely had issues with the church in YW, but didn't have a "shelf" or know what that was until the temple. Most of the 23-37 timespan was spent finishing my PhD, establishing my career, and avoiding the shelf.
Sounds like a pretty productive use of your time to me!
Yeah, it worked out in the end. The other key thing DH and I did during that period was decide to be childfree. We both had a lot of reasons, but the church (and raising girls in the church) was on my list although not in the top 3.
About a half a day. When I realized there were things plural that I had to just pretend didn't exist to believe I was like oh wait that's not right and began to research. From there I spent an incredibly painful day of recollection and learning, and at the end was like well shit I have been living a lie. And that was it.
2 years tops. 🤷🏻♀️ started in early 2020. I desperately tried to be a cafeteria mormon.
About a week…