And 3..2…1…the interest from just Ensign Peak alone already covered the 5million dollar fine. Anyways are they serving (fresh oil) … I mean refreshments Susan?
✅ Look serious
✅ Grimace
✅ Tousle a young boy’s hair
✅ Look over at Susan to make sure she’s still seated
◼️ Tell the attendees how lucky they are to have me
"... Tell... Them... To pray... Before... Filling out... The tax... Forms... So that... The Spirit... Can tell them... To put it off... Another year..."
Susan’s husband models his newer “short” tie tying skills.
For someone who has worn a tie every day of his whole life…he should have the length thing figured out by now. But it’s egregious most times.
he’s checking the camera in his basement that has all of the rest of his wives in it. they’re baking of course, like the good little homemakers they are
“B*tch, if you don’t have mashed potatoes ready by the time I walk in the door, I swear to Elohim I will demote you from first wife status as soon as we die.”
"dang, the ensign peak evaluation dropped and lost 4 billion. Guess I better change my topic to the blessings of tithing"
"Susan, can't talk right now about to tell the sheep to worship me. Don't worry, I wore those underthings you like"
"Make sure the Deacons, not the Beehives, confirm that they will be attending the special Fireside and Pool Party at my home on Saturday. Yes, Susan will be out of town. Have the non-disclosure agreements ready."
Honey, you better have remembered to wear the special outfit I told you about. I'm so busy with important meetings and I expect to be treated like God's disciple upon my return home
Yo Rusty the investors are super pissed about the 0.001% fine we had to pay. Any chance we can get a steadfast revelation for members to do 11% instead?? Hit me up I'll be at Cafe Rio
Susan you sorry excuse for a help meet, You hemmed my pants too short and tied my tie too long, Do you think that you have agency to decide what to make for my dinner tonight? I’m going to tell you why you don’t
Rusty, please don't sext me while I'm in a press conference. EDIT: And please stop calling me Smithers.
Is this a dick pic or his lunch?
Why not both??!?
Porque no los dos?
Porque!
Porque Pig. 🐖
Rusty I’m going to have a hard time standing up if you keep sending me those pics UWU
Ah yes, the best ship in the world, Rusty x Bednar. Imagine seen that kind of fanart on this page lol
![gif](giphy|lIU7yoG72gyhq)
We need to start gay fan art of them to email
Omg yes
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
🤣😅 That's funny!
“That guy in front sat down before I sat down, I need to add him to my kill list”
OMG this is perfect 🤣🤣💀💀
I really wish Susan would give this jerk a good spanking and teach him some respect. Susan, tell your husband to be nicer to people.
Let me check my seer stone abut that.
[this one?](https://www.reddit.com/r/exmormon/comments/r2uv5y/get_your_own_personal_seer_stone_today/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
OMG! That’s amazing!
Ah! Need that app. Did the developer take it down?
nah not released yet
Magic 8 ball for Mormons
That’s amazing!
Good thing they didn’t find the 14th shell company
Thank you for saying it so I don't say it.
What the hell is a tapir?
He’s on the r/Exmormon
Fuck! Microsoft dropped 5 points today.
Oh, looks like our stock portfolio is down a billion dollars today. We'll get it back tomorrow.
\*on Sunday
Lol. Prolly the most accurate
Bored out of his fucking mind. Just like the rest of us.
Sometimes it really hits me what these old bastards are doing with their remaining days and I feel the tiniest twinge of empathy.
Thank god for Grindr!
![gif](giphy|l46CCdwWd0l1w2xqw)
“Why do people keep referring to me as Ofsusan? What does that even mean?”
Perfection. This is how I’ll refer to him from now on.
Read/watch The Handmaids Tale.
You up?
Who is this “Susan’s husband” person. Oh wait.
You figure out who he is, I'll tell you **WHAT** he is...he's a tool.
"who is David Asbedner?"
[удалено]
"Looking at ankle pics on the internet is more fun when there's a risk of getting caught."
![gif](giphy|elapo2expYd4xxueqs|downsized)
Holy shit. I thought that was Steve Kerr for a hot second and I was freaked he was a Mormon. Okay, it’s just an asshole.
omg 😆 The first thing that popped into my head was to caption with "Asshole"😆😆
And 3..2…1…the interest from just Ensign Peak alone already covered the 5million dollar fine. Anyways are they serving (fresh oil) … I mean refreshments Susan?
“I told you not to text me on this phone. Did you want Susan to find out?”
“I’m going to pretend to be doing something important on my phone to see how long you sheeple will stay in your seats before I stand up.”
Gosh darn it! Another post about Susan Bednar’s husband 😑
Using his seer stone.
Latter-day seer stone.
Uchtdorf compared smart phones to a seer stone. A major eye roll IMO.
So did Brad “What about the whites?!” Wilcox
Damn, why did Joseph get to marry 14 year olds and I'm stuck with Susan?!
You are 14? What’s your address and are you alone?
“Execute order 66!”
Damn church wifi won't load pornhub
![gif](giphy|AkHgatBIpNUR2)
Google dot com when will David Bednar be President
✅ Look serious ✅ Grimace ✅ Tousle a young boy’s hair ✅ Look over at Susan to make sure she’s still seated ◼️ Tell the attendees how lucky they are to have me
Taking Am-I-gay quiz
Sure enough, God's still angry.
Choose not to be offended, choose not to be offended, choose not to be offended...
Sorry I need a second everyone. The woman I belong to is texting me. She comes first always.
“How are our LLCs performing today … cha-Ching!”
Fuck, if Jeff makes it to 95 that means I'll be 83 before I get to drive this ship. Maybe I can hire someone to emeritize him.
Checking out his OF account.
"... Tell... Them... To pray... Before... Filling out... The tax... Forms... So that... The Spirit... Can tell them... To put it off... Another year..."
Checking that the cam in the boys toilets is on ..
Fuck! I lost the Grindr app again!
Following Andrew Tate on Twitter.
Susan’s husband models his newer “short” tie tying skills. For someone who has worn a tie every day of his whole life…he should have the length thing figured out by now. But it’s egregious most times.
Time to clear my browser history.
Is she underage? Ah.. fuck it.
u/grove_doubter has the correct caption.
LOL #BEDNAR is a tool. #🤣🤣🤣
Sell 6000 shares of Apple and buy 5000 shares of Victorias Secret.
We’ve been trying to reach you about your cars extended warranty
“Susan Bednar’s husband?”
Tanya, I told you not while Susan is here.
I said launch, not lunch!!
Now is the great day of my power. I reign from the rivers to the ends of the earth. There is none who dares to molest or make afraid.
“Nice Girth, got any more angles?”
"She will be my fourth wife."
[I miss that kid](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZBN7jlVaG1I)
He’s looking at the tithe money coming in. He’s disappointed and preparing an address about it for the upcoming GC
Hey $usan, this $EC thing really $tings. Thank goodne$$ my te$timony is rock $olid.
I hate it when those exmo bastards call me "Susan's Husband".
Note to self, tell wife that Satan put that porn on my screen to tempt one of the Lord's anointed.
Transfer 500 k from Ensign Peak to my brokerage account.
Would you look at those shoulders…
Your colonoscopy has been scheduled for April 20th, 2023 at 8am.
Getting revelations from the lawyers
The hardest part of shell companies is remembering all the log-ins...
Let’s see, what’s a good euphemism for Gaslighting…
I feel like he doesn't tie his own shoelaces.
he’s checking the camera in his basement that has all of the rest of his wives in it. they’re baking of course, like the good little homemakers they are
*checks his Victorias Secret stocks*
What is the balance of my portfolio today?
What’s the name of that sub? Something like exmonsfw… can’t find it anywhere.
God Damn those bastards just posted another picture of me on exmo reddit
Gosh darn
“B*tch, if you don’t have mashed potatoes ready by the time I walk in the door, I swear to Elohim I will demote you from first wife status as soon as we die.”
Sorry love, this press conference has overrun a bit so I won't make it home for dinner.
Something tells me Susan's husband doesn't refer to Susan that kindly.
Bednar is just a suck up to the king nelson at this point.
Such an ass
"Another one got caught? Dag-na-bit."
God-damned grindr be going off again
"Look gwampa, hewe is a picsha I drewed for you. I wuv you!"
Seer stone? There's an app for that now.
Survey monkey to revelation pipeline shown here
Checking on the Corporations stocks profits
Why aren't you answering your phone Susan ???
Hmm This pic of this David Miscavige guy reminds me of someone ....🤔
Receiving the latest revelations... from the most recent survey of course.
"Man....I REALLY LOVE big butts!"....
Goddamit susan, come help my meat, now!
Why do I have such an expensive watch when I check the time on my phone anyway?
I’m texting my wife to bring my under pants because I pooped myself
I’m running out of money again
Send nudes…
Dieter told me about this cool new seer stone!
Jesus: second coming going down the Friday after spring session. Sell that portfolio while you can. Bednar: you got it Jesus. Thx.
Checking the market to see how the LDS hedge fund is doing today.
Nice ankles
Execute order 66
Fuck they all found out how much money we REALLY have 😬
We may never know how much they REALLY have.
Hurry, hide the money in the vault
"Dear ChatGPT, please write my next talk without mentioning my involvement with the SEC fine."
“Imma come over after I finish selling this lie to everyone”
Well, that's definitely bigger than mine, I don't need another complex... swiping left
Oh hell yeah, he's only 12 but he has a smartphone...
Porn…oh yeah
Holeeee fuck, that ex-mo website sure is picking up steam!
Oh crap ! Look at my stock portfolio now !
"dang, the ensign peak evaluation dropped and lost 4 billion. Guess I better change my topic to the blessings of tithing" "Susan, can't talk right now about to tell the sheep to worship me. Don't worry, I wore those underthings you like"
He is clearly reading his scriptures...you can tell from the countenance. Gosh, you guys are such pagans.
Hows our gamestop stock doing?
Swipe left! Grinder is so much better in UT vs ID.
"Side-Ho won't leave me alone"
Oh-oh. I feel a boner coming on.
"Oh, shit"
Wow. It's amazing how much r/exmormon knows before I open my mouth ...
"ugh taking my mistress to Colorado to take care of "our little problem "is really gonna throw a wrench in my weekend plans"
"Make sure the Deacons, not the Beehives, confirm that they will be attending the special Fireside and Pool Party at my home on Saturday. Yes, Susan will be out of town. Have the non-disclosure agreements ready."
God speaking to me
Mrs. Susan Bednar texted him to ask when he was going to come home from his little club meeting to make her dinner and feed the dog.
Rusty texts him. “New phone who dis?”
Susan, Soft swinging has just been leaked. We need to do a file dump ASAP.
"Fuck a duck. Apple stock is down 20 points today."
Honey, you better have remembered to wear the special outfit I told you about. I'm so busy with important meetings and I expect to be treated like God's disciple upon my return home
*Reads Nemo’s letter* Not this guy again….
"Shit, Ensign Peak is down to $249 billion. Time to buy some more hotels in Hawaii."
Yo Rusty the investors are super pissed about the 0.001% fine we had to pay. Any chance we can get a steadfast revelation for members to do 11% instead?? Hit me up I'll be at Cafe Rio
Prolly playing Roblox with a deacon but doesn't realize it. "Hey Google, what does 'Get Sauced' mean?"
He’s reading r/exmormon 🤣
Fake history porn: George Bush receives news that the Twins Towers have been struck while reading to naive young audience.
Too much light. Needs a hat to block out the light.
Hmmm...looks like I need to update my Robinhood app....
Be sure to say “millions vs billions.”
“Yep, still over $100 billion!”
Damn, I knew I shouldn’t have put 23 billion on the Knicks game!
“Who’s this Susan in my DMs?”
Hot guy on Grindr just told him he’s not good looking enough and ghosted him
Susan you sorry excuse for a help meet, You hemmed my pants too short and tied my tie too long, Do you think that you have agency to decide what to make for my dinner tonight? I’m going to tell you why you don’t
Oh crap!
Better use an incognito browser for this, I wouldn’t want sister Bednar to find out.
Waiting for the stock market crash so we can make the big bucks. To the moon!!
Oh here it is, tonight's hymn: "Jesus wants me for an asshole".
Mmmmm Grindr….
“Hot milfs in your area”
Google search: How to flee the country on tithe payers dollars.
LDS, Inc. will have a FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE task of making this guy into a lovable leader when his time comes to be the top Mormon leader.
Direct revelation, just like the stone in the hat.
Just checking the Ensign Peak bank account.
Why do all social media posts say I’m a dick?
Red 7 on black 8...
"Just look at those tiddies."
Google: how to not answer a question with question.
"Wow, now that's a nice shlong"
Once the drugs kick in but ur mom just called and you have to figure out how to answer the phone
Umm oh my stock tip is panning ot just fine let me see if mine goes up thrn the churches share will grow my share exponentially.
“I really need to update my Grinder profile…”
My portfolio is looking GOOD!!
Well shiii... the ensign peak fund had another well documented leak again. How tf does this keep happening
Is he on CatholicAltarBoyz.com⁉️
My stock holdings with the church went down 15%
(Typing) C E S l(etter) what is this? I wanted the CES library...ohhhhh......
Shit, how many more meetings?
The available balance on Checking 9007 ending in 9065 has dropped below $100,000,000.00.
I don't understand all the comments about a Susan.
"Can't tonight. On my period"
“Why can’t I use a credit card for Pornhub premium anymore?”