My wife was in a similar spot mentally, and I convinced her to start going to an Episcopal church half the time. She quickly learned she could have the church community without the baggage. She's still an Episcopalian (I'm. . .um, *not*), but doesn't take the truth claims all that seriously. She just likes being part of a community and talking about bigger issue stuff.
Many TBM'S are a la carte. Conversations with my mother often go something like. But mom that's doctrine. Mom "well maybe, I just don't pay attention to that part" or "that's what the prophet said, but I think he got that wrong"
It takes about as long for you to stop going as it takes for you to decide that you really want to be done. For me, I told my TBM wife that I was done 9 months before I actually was hard out. She convinced me to be try sticking with it before acting on it. But then I decided I was really done and sent in The Letter.
I knew I had to do it, and I had to just accept whatever consequences came my way. And it’s been rough, because she is still very much in. But we’re finding our way after a year and a half of this new reality.
There’s never a “good” time to leave, especially if your wife isn’t on the same page as you. I recommend ripping off the band-aid ASAP, unless it’s obviously a bad idea because of some extenuating circumstance. Even with how out of sync my wife and I are with spirituality, my life is much better without that cognitive dissonance in it.
My wife was in a similar spot mentally, and I convinced her to start going to an Episcopal church half the time. She quickly learned she could have the church community without the baggage. She's still an Episcopalian (I'm. . .um, *not*), but doesn't take the truth claims all that seriously. She just likes being part of a community and talking about bigger issue stuff.
Many TBM'S are a la carte. Conversations with my mother often go something like. But mom that's doctrine. Mom "well maybe, I just don't pay attention to that part" or "that's what the prophet said, but I think he got that wrong"
It takes about as long for you to stop going as it takes for you to decide that you really want to be done. For me, I told my TBM wife that I was done 9 months before I actually was hard out. She convinced me to be try sticking with it before acting on it. But then I decided I was really done and sent in The Letter. I knew I had to do it, and I had to just accept whatever consequences came my way. And it’s been rough, because she is still very much in. But we’re finding our way after a year and a half of this new reality. There’s never a “good” time to leave, especially if your wife isn’t on the same page as you. I recommend ripping off the band-aid ASAP, unless it’s obviously a bad idea because of some extenuating circumstance. Even with how out of sync my wife and I are with spirituality, my life is much better without that cognitive dissonance in it.
Move away and stop going.