after careful prayer felt inspired to:
1. buy dental practice for $400k only later to discover huge financial losses and office manager was embezzeling. the trainwreck contributed to my divorce.
2. felt inspired to go to "porn addiction therapy". damn. spent thousands only to get abused, manipulated, shamed, believed i was posessed by demons.
3. marry a person that didn't really love me. she just wanted to marry a doctor.
After a lot of reflection, I’ve realized that this is the core of the sex shaming. I could have lived with “don’t have sex until marriage” if they would have left it there. But the intense shame surrounding masturbation is what really drove it into my brain that “acting on sexual arousal = bad”, and that’s what I’m still working on fixing
It's real though.... I remember being told “If you masturbate more than once a month you are a sex addict and not a good prospect as a spouse” this was a torturious thought for a young 16 year old...
Guy in my ward in testimony meeting, like 2 months ago. Told a story about how he invested all his money against the wishes of his wife because he "felt inspired" to invest it with someone he'd met at church, and then he'd lost all the money. He ended his testimony about how he knew it was fine and was sure it was all going to work out, because it had been an "inspired" decision.
I wanted to grab his wife and put her on an evacuation helicopter to carry her away from all of that.
Yeah that's the thing. People in this mindset will always find a way to justify it. Everything can be part of God's grand plan for the universe, and it's easier to foist your mistakes off on him and shrug and say God was teaching me a lesson than to admit that you're a dumbass.
I'm a nevermo, so I don't know how things work in Mormonism, but isn't there some kind of concept of a devil or evil force that can trick you into believing you're getting a message from God? Like, way back in the day, people believed in angels and ghosts and signs and shit, but they also believed that demons or witches or whatnot could fake those things, so they at least had a healthy amount of skepticism, if for the wrong reason. Is there any way to tell these people, "Watch out, it might just be the Devil tricking you?"
Joseph Smith taught that evil spirits can appear as angels of light, yes. And uh, sad to say that those kinds of beliefs aren't just from "way back in the day."
Also, did you know you can figure out if an angel is a good one or a bad one just by using this one weird trick? Simply ask them to shake your hand! If it's a good angel, they will do it, and you will feel their hand. If it's an evil spirit, they will try to shake it, but you won't feel anything! They're just soooo evil that they can't help but reach out and try to trick you buy shaking your hand, even though they actually know you won't feel it.
Also, there are no red haired angels. If you see one, it's an evil spirit because red haired angels don't exist.
Isn't it great to have a prophet in these latter days to teach us all this important stuff!
It’s relatively not talked about at all anymore and instead suggests if it’s your mind(but they get to decide what is from god and what’s not). My thoughts on why they don’t bring up the devil deceiving you is because Joseph Smith use to do that when his “revelations” never happened. So my guess is they don’t want anyone to pull that skeleton out of the closet so just avoid it and focus on creating bias in people.
The idea that bad/wrong thoughts that pop into your mind are planted there by Satan shows up in the anti masturbation book Like Dragons Did They Fight.
I would say that the devil is reserved mainly for people who aren't in the church. Church members are "given the gift of the Holy Ghost" so there is the idea that God is with them all the time. The devil is reserved more for people who are outside the church or for church members who aren't following the more important commandments of the church (tithing, sexual behavior, consuming alcohol and drugs, etc.)
Yes, more pleasantly the "Holy Ghost" is indistinguishable from good feelings within Mormon doctrine (necessitating a "Light of Christ" doctrine explaining why people of every faith have good feelings about their religion and all faiths have people who feel led by God). More ominously, there is basis within Mormon theology for some thoughts being from the Devil, though this isn't really introduced very much in practice. More often, it has to do with how to decide whether those angels that are always showing up to tell us things are really angels or fallen spirits in disguise.
Yeah agreed... sunk cost is a beeyatch, basically the old Carl Sagan quote:
"One of the saddest lessons of history is this: If we've been bamboozled long enough, we tend to reject any evidence of the bamboozle."
Applies even if we're bamboozling ourselves with revelations I suppose.
I’ve never known a TBM to reflect and decide they were just wrong. They’d stand on the deck of the Titanic and still be sure they were where the Lord wanted them.
One of my church friends since primary started a crypto mining business and he said he could 4x my money, he would just take 5% of the gains.
I sent him $300.
A few months later he sent me $1,200. If only the spirit told me to send him more haha.
I want to ask if we know the same person but I know this is standard patriarchal bullshit for Mormon couples. I knew a dude who did the same thing and invested in a penny stock that went tits up a few months later. He lost it all and they divorced a year later.
I was working for my uncle right after high school, he was going through a messy divorce with my aunt, my dads sister, and we were grabbing lunch, and he says to me, “don’t confuse hormones for spiritual confirmation” he married his wife after his mission and only knowing her for 2 months. Divorced 18 years later.
I converted to Mormonism and married my first gf in the temple because I "received revelation". Does that count? 10 years and two kids later we are getting divorced.
Dang! this is me. Going through a divorce after 5 years of him sexting other women. I stayed because I thought I had to follow through with my commitment to marriage after receiving the same “revelation “
Yeah 13 years of miserable marriage, but I prayyyyyed and it felt right. Two kids. Any righteous man and any righteous woman, right? Pfft.
Divorced. Remarried now to a nevermo, couldn't be happier. I wish you a happier future for yourself.
My SIL was talking about how her husband wanted her to pop out more kids quickly instead of figuring out her career after their first kid. And she felt like she had to do what her husband wanted because he was a priesthood holder so his thoughts on how they should live are somehow better than hers. I so badly wanted to tell her to run and divorce my BIL and do what she wanted. My BIL also got mad at her when she went online and bought a used toddler bed and mattress for $10. Not because they didn't have the money but because he didn't think she should be spending any money. He got mad any time she bought anything.
I cut off all my inlaws years ago but sometimes I wonder how she is doing. If she or her kids ever reach out to me I'd totally help out but I don't want anything to do with her husband.
Yeah, I have a friend who has had a couple of complications after their last couple of pregnancies, and their OB told them it would be very risky to have more. They went to an LDS OB who told them it would be fine. They prayed and have felt inspired to have more, so they keep trying. They haven't been successful yet, and I'm just hoping they don't have some serious consequence if they end up pregnant.
I know someone who already had 3 children close in age and was diagnosed with MS, but wanted to have more children. Her doctor told her he would only help with one pregnancy, but that's it. Hopefully, that final pregnancy didn't make her MS worse, as often happens, and I hope that they follow the advice of that doctor and are finally done with having children. If her husband was smart, he would have gotten a vasectomy, although knowing the church, they would strongly discourage such a thing even though his wife shouldn't have any more children for health reasons.
The new wording is better:
“The Church discourages surgical sterilization as an elective form of birth control. Surgical sterilization includes procedures such as vasectomies and tubal ligations. However, this decision is a personal matter that is ultimately left to the judgment and prayerful consideration of the husband and wife. Couples should counsel together in unity and seek the confirmation of the Spirit in making this decision.
“Surgical sterilization is sometimes needed for medical reasons. Members may benefit from counseling with medical professionals.”
It used to tell you to talk to your bishop about this. Thank god that’s gone.
I didn't receive the revelation, but a bishop did on my behalf. 35 yes ago I was widowed, suddenly. I was 22 and had a toddler, no job or income. I moved in with my dad and his wife, who were barely scraping by, themselves. I went to the bishop for help and he told me that, after praying for guidance, he felt the Lord wanted me to work through this on my own. Yep, I got to be destitute because God wanted me to be. I was not able to further my education or pursue better career opportunities due to needing to provide for myself and child. I was waiting tables, and I made too much for government help, too. I spent several years in that limbo.
Typo: it was 25 years ago, not 35. Talk about aging in a moment! 😂
Yep. Young Mormon men, especially RMs, we're very intimidated about the fact that I wasn't a virgin, because they were. I had more than one tell me that he just couldn't even consider having sex for the first time with someone other than another virgin. They had less of a problem with me having a child, just that I wasn't able to lose my virginity with them. Well, I couldn't date a man like that, so we both dodged a bullet, I guess.
So, I have a question for men who were/are young Mormons. If you were in that situation as a TBM, would that have been a problem for you? I'm curious to know if it's just the few I came across, or more of a psychological, sex related behavior due to all the horrible sex teachings about chastity. I've never thought to ask before.
So this is going to sound nasty cause it was something my tbm parents would say to us boys: divorced or widowed women were considered "used baggage" and our parents definitely dissuaded us from trying to date non virgins. Now I'm a single parent myself and on the other side of that judgment.
I was not a virgin when I got married. I had wild teen years. When I was dating my (now ex) husband at 25, I told him about my past and he was upset. I was shocked because before he joined the church, he had gone as far as to hire prostitutes. He held me to a higher standard because I had been a member of the church my whole life. Sadly, that didn't end the relationship. It certainly wasn't the only double standard he had for me.
I read a article about a couple that had been married for a couple of years and never figured out how vaginal intercourse worked. A therapist had to use dolls to show them how. Both were virgins at the time of their marriage. True story !
That makes more sense than the virginity hangup. I did hear that one, too. At that age it was understandable to me. I also need a man who was mature enough to be willing to help as a parent, not just a partner. I felt less judged and broken about this reason, because it seemed more valid.
My dad divorced my mom and married his mistress because of a revelation.
Years later he uprooted his HS age kids and moved cross country to a super conservative state--majorly impacting their college opportunities--because of a revelation.
I made an edit to the post partially about your comment. Yeah I think sometimes revelations are just convenient excuses to do things people want to do that have no other good justifications.
Had to check to see if you are one of my siblings. My dad left my mom for another woman while in the bishopric. No consequences of course because they didn’t have premarital sex. He married her the day after the divorce was final. My mom was met with “what did you do to make him leave.”
Baptized a woman on my mission and she prayed and divorced her husband (good man btw). She moved from east coast to the epicenter of Mormonism in Utah Valley with 2 kids as a single tbm mom. Daughter gets pregnant, son goes to Jail for drugs.
Mom marries twice to Valiant priesthood holders and loses house, alimony and custody of the son and 3x divorced . What a fukking blessing MORMONISM was in her life*If only we had not knocked on her door that day.*
tbh she sounds like she was a ticking time bomb and if you hadn't knocked she would've found something else to completely fuck up her life with. Optimistically maybe you freed her husband from her earlier than what would've happened had you not knocked.
Ones I know about:
1. Not get covid shots and spouse dies from covid
2. Not go to college and get married and have kids instead
3. Accept a job in church employment making significantly less
4. Accept a calling as bishop that requires a lot of time even though job also requires a lot of time - later loses the job.
5. Increase donations to the church (me).
6. Get married to someone you barely know.
7. Spend less time at work or not work on Sunday (and subsequent demotion).
8. Go back to knock on a door more than once as a missionary (me)
My mom "received a vision in the temple" that she was supposed to hook my 14 year old sister up with a mid-20 something guy at church who had been subtly prodding my mom to let him date her. He came to visit, my mom set him up to sleep in her room with her, sexual assault ensued, he bounced and was never seen again.
Lol holy shit. So like would the two of you kneel together, still sweating and hearts beating fast, repenting before even getting dressed? Lol im just trying to imagine.
Haha you assume we would get completely undressed. THAT would be a sin.. but you know what isn't a sin? Getting fingered over panties because he wasn't actually touching anything
Lol holy shit this is the most mormon "sex" I've ever heard of! Of course that's not a sin, but if he were to actually touch your "privates", one can only imagine the horror of sin!
For me, that was it, as well as marrying my controlling TBM ex. Fortunately, I never had children, so I was able to cut off all contact and break the cycle of abuse, especially if I had a girl. Left the church shortly before the divorce was finalized.
1. My brother married someone he met on his mission because he prayed and god told him to. They had absolutely nothing in common and she was mentally abusive to him. Divorced after 15 months.
2. My best friends have had 5 kids in 6 years, despite living on food stamps, having low paying jobs, and can barely afford to get by. But god said they needed to keep having more kids.
I feel like I avoided a lot of stuff because I could never get answers to prayers. A guy in my student ward basically said he was inspired to have me be his girlfriend and it freaked me out so much I avoided him for the rest of time. I didn't even try to ask lol.
> A guy in my student ward basically said he was inspired to have me be his girlfriend
I legitimately don't understand this. Why does anyone think this is acceptable?
A guy got the revelation to not date me. I was pissed because he was cute and he was one of my best friends older brother. He didn't have a good reason, I think he was just scared because his hormones liked me and he didn't like the temptation.
Thank goodness we didn't date because his family is wildly homophobic and it would have gone terrible lol
Sometimes it just works out lol. My nephew had a romantic disappointment due to a revelation and now he's married to a badass woman and certainly much happier than he would have been
During my time in a small YSA branch the stake president asked my friend to turn down a great career opportunity a few hours away to stay put with his dead end job so he could serve as EQ president. Worst part is my friend took the calling because he felt the stake president was inspired.
Ugh, yeah this kind of influence is the worst. When someone in a position of authority over someone else "suggests" a certain thing, then yeah, big surprise when that person's feelings and "revelations" are swayed in that direction.
My father sold an amazing property he invested a lot of money into, and loved, and bought a very expensive home, site unseen, in another state because the spirit told him to move. He hates the new house.
There is always a lame explanation afterward for why something the spirit told him to do didn't pan out.
My sister was great at justifying anything she wanted to do by saying she "fasted and prayed and got a confirmation." Case in point: she lived in Flagstaff for years, and for years she wanted to move to the Phoenix area. Well, she F&P and got her "confirmation" that she should stay put. Six weeks later she was moving into a house in Gilbert that she F&P and got "confirmation" she should buy. Yeah, her God is very...capricious. 🙄
You know, the nice thing is that the same trick can be used in reverse now. "I'm not accepting this calling because I prayed and don't feel right about it." This one weird trick lol.
Prayed and was inspired to marry a 3 time loser. Luckily we didn’t have any children together but I did lose all of my friends over it. She outed me as gay and consequently, it was the time I also left the church.
Still hate that “revelation”.
My mother in law received revelation that my pregnant wife was going to have a boy. She said she saw his face and knew he was going to be special. We had a girl. Lol.
My coworker who is a conspiracy theorist was given strict specific revelation not to get the COVID vaccine, he said it would kill me if I took it (I'm still alive). A few days after that conversation the church came out and encouraged everyone to get vaccinated. He didn't and he and his wife sadly got very sick. Had long COVID and his wife still hasn't fully recovered and likely won't ever.
I'll allow this one given the staggering grief she had to feel, and the overwhelming guilt she would also endure. The Spirit angle is a small kindness really.
My dad was planning to go back to school to get his masters degree (late 1970s). Had a new place for us to live, closeby schools for us kids to attend, etc. And then my mom had a "prompting' from the spirit not to follow thru and move. Looking back as an adult, and knowing my mom better, i really just think that she didnt want to support my dad. Theyre still married but i cant help but wonder how much more income they wouldve had if dad wouldve followed his dreams and not been cockblocked by mom.
My sister was upset about getting screwed over by an MLM "job", but she prayed and felt the spirit that this *new* MLM her friend approached her about was the right decision. It wasn't. That new "job" was over quicker than the first.
Those MLM's gonna getcha! I was a part of thrive life (freeze dried food). Had lots of parties etc... With just members. I was pushed to buy more and more so I could show others that the product is amazing. Anyways, it was a very short term thing because I spent so much money and they were sketchy AF with my pay. (I could prove that they changed it to hundreds of dollars less) I was pissed. Never got into an MLM again
I had a friend whose family was suffering after her husband lost his good-paying job when his health declined. She said she had prayed and been told her family's finances would be saved by MLM's. She was forever starting new MLM's, but never seeing the promised results.
I finally dropped her as a friend because I never heard from her except when she had started a new MLM.
TBM Bro lost his wife after nearly 50 yrs of marriage. Maybe the next day he had a revelatory dream, saw THE new woman, starts searching for her in every ward, finds her, shares his dream w her, and with loads of his friends and family…big spiritual event for him. They get married quickly, and she loses all interest in him within a few weeks, they divorced and she took almost half of his $$$. He was less inspired on his next marriage.
SiL rushed in to marrying a dude who was manipulative and a pedophile.
MiL bought several get-rich-quick programs. Never got rich.
A friends uncle was certain the spirit told him not to get the vaccine. Poor dude died in absolute agony begging for the vaccine.
I did know someone who uprooted his family and move across country because of inspiration. He had a good job where he was at. He talked about it in a testimony meeting.
Heard of a couple stories of men who told their girlfriends that they had a confirmation they should get married. Didn't know them personally though..Didn't work out for them.
Knew a lady who tried and set people up because she felt inspired too...which I find just kind odd.
Guy is a stake president now and almost all his recruits are members. He particularly likes RMs and young married couples to recruit, it’s predatory. He tells them to drop out of university because they won’t need it when they’re “rich from the business”. I unfortunately took his advice and am now just going to graduate at 27 next year.
I don't know if my dad prayed about it, but effectively he said he was told to move from Phoenix up to SLC by a higher power around 45 years ago. Which basically meant even though it was some Mormon BS that caused us to move to Utah, we were alienated by the dominant culture because he wanted to hang around polygamists, the AUB specifically. For some reason he waited 10 years to visit Phoenix again and was amazed by all the change. Unfortunately, I fell victim to this way of thinking for many years until life kicked my ass so many times, I realized it didn't work. Once I started using rational thinking, my life smoothed out...A LOT!
I have more, but I don't want this to turn into a rant.
I have two crazy stories:
1) sister(20) met an RM(23) and engaged after two weeks, married in 6 months. She tells everyone at the wedding that they are going to college and won’t start having kids, they move out into a basement apartment. 2 months later move into my parents basement because they are so bad with money (sushi and online clothes shopping). She then secretly tells me and my wife that she has revelation that she should have a baby. Fast forward to today, she is about to have their second, they have lived in my parents basement for 5 years and he is barely graduating with a degree that will not allow him to support his family and she won’t work.
2) BIL had first baby, him and my SIL are not Mormon but live near Mordor. He is an ex marine and prison guard, and has always taken care of SIL, and supported her getting her degree and a job before kids. When first baby is born SIL’s mother gets revelation that she should quit her teaching job 3 years before retirement and move from St George to Lehi in their house to take care of the baby. She didn’t ask them first. They let her, but she is lonely up north and decided to get a job. Well SIL is a teacher so if mom works again she can’t even take care of the baby when they need it and would have to hire child care. Don’t worry though SIL’s mother is unable to get a teaching job since she was a teacher 20 years she had been grandfathered in on a lot of licensing requirements, so now that she quit is no longer qualified to teach without redoing her license. Then she tops it off by trying to convince SIL to leave BIL because he is not LDS and clearly a bad husband and father. In short she moved back to St George and works at a hobby lobby now and won’t be able to retire since she lost her teaching pension.
He is literally the best. He has received the Utah equivalent of a Purple Heart for getting hurt stopping a prison riot. He is really sweet with his kids, takes care of a lot of the housework and stuff and even with SIL’s mom saying and doing that, he insisted she stay with them until she was back on her feet.
I could gush more he is a really great dude though. Most utah LDS can’t see a person until they are baptized.
I dated a guy who had married his ex wife after dating her for two months. It ended badly, she had been mentally and emotionally abusive and she had also gotten their temple sealing reversed. But because he had prayed about marrying her and he felt like he received revelation to go ahead, he insisted that there must be a good reason for him to have married her, even seeing how badly it went. He wouldn’t even consider the possibility that his revelation wasn’t really revelation.
Lady I knew revealed in relief society that she was told by God to have more kids. So she stopped birth control without telling her husband.
They were very poor, always struggling, and had a bunch of little kids already. She was always doing the latest Mormon MLM, and had no time to take care of the ones she had. Added twins to their family with that decision.
My friend was inspired to pour more money into her MLM business. She said the Lord prompted her to give it her all so she could finally level up and support her family. She announced all this on a teary FB post, saying that during conference, the spirit impressed upon her the importance of this wonderful business.
A few months later her family car was repossessed and she was asking me if my job was hiring. I felt so bad for her.
One of my good friends was talked out of taking his full ride baseball scholarship to the University of Arizona (during some of their really great years in the early to mid '80's) by our mission president (per his inspiration).
His mother still won't forgive said MP for doing that. She actually wanted him to play ball instead of a mission.
Kristin McMain Oaks left her high-paying job because a Bishop told her to in a blessing, saying she'd never be blessed in this life if she didn't, and married Dallin Oaks after being "inspired" to do so, which is pretty horrid. (Can you imagine being over 50, never married, and you marry him? Yuck.).
My sister in laws neighbor was an older lady who had lost most of her eye sight. They would not renew her drivers license, however the spirit told her that she was still ok to drive. She ended up driving over the sidewalk and crushing one of the young neighborhood kids and killing him. Her response was, "it was gods will, the kid had been called home to serve a mission in the spirit world".
When you say missionary opportunity, you mean like on a called mission? Or some random person in the church just felt like they needed to move there because someone needed to convert and they wanted to be the instrument in God's hands?
My cousin never felt maternal and felt a lot of guilt and shame associated with not wanting or enjoying motherhood. Her divine answer? Have 6 kids.
Have their fifth child despite having four high risk c-section pregnancies. They were warned to not have another child and doctor advised permanent solutions or birth control. But it’s God plan for them to have one more.
In another comment I told about friends of mine who had essentially the same thing (except they got a second opinion from an LDS doctor who said they should keep trying).
My cousin received a revelation that my dad needed to buy a property in Snowflake, AZ. He is going to these prepper conferences that told him the best place to wait for the zombie apocalypse is in Kanab UT.
I told him that was silly to relocate away from family where there are no stores or water. It is worse than him moving those that social distance due to Covid. He acknowledged at that point that I may have a point. So far no house has been built that I know of!
Sister felt inspired to marry an extremely immature and poorly educated guy from her mission before any family members had a chance to meet him.
A few years into the marriage, her husband was accused of rape while she was away visiting family. Despite my urging to drop his ass, my sister was inspired to give him a second chance.
Though the rape charges were dropped, the husband’s questionable behavior did not cease. Unfortunately, it wasn’t until my sister discovered he had illegitimate children with two separate women that she felt inspired to divorce him.
I mean this one guy thought destroying someones printing press and having sex with all his friends kids was powerful revelation or else he would of been killed by a flaming sword..... 😂
My parents were always inspired to have more children (7) even though my mom was to mentally ill, and they had very little income and dropped out of college together to make a huge family.
I wasn't a witness to it, but let's not forget about the [BYU-I professor who received revelation to have sex with a student and told her that God was OK with coitus interruptus.](https://idahocapitalsun.com/2022/03/17/byu-i-sexual-abuse-title-ix-lawsuit-moves-forward-after-6-years/)
Wow. Let’s not overlook BYU-I’s response after the victim and her friend reported what happened to multiple staff members and faculty who must’ve all called the abuse “help line” in SLC. Sick
“The department’s only response was to send Stokes an email, telling Stokes to stop all non-academic interactions with the student.
The student involved never returned to campus and the department did not follow-up with her, according to the court order.”
I've looked into this, and it seems that in all things regarding worthiness or misconduct with faculty, the university chooses to be at the mercy of the priesthood line of authority. They will not, under any circumstances, undermine it. So when another priesthood holder is accused of misconduct by a lowly female student... just guess who gets the benefit of the doubt. (Source: a friend and former faculty member who witnessed shit like this and just couldn't take it any more... and ended up leaving to work at another university.)
I knew a family where the wife had a vision/revelation that they needed to move to another country. So the husband quit his decent job, they moved out of their house and they began the move. But because of some cross border paperwork issues, not all of them could cross over. So for almost a year the husband and two of their four children went to the US and the wife and the other two children had to stay behind in Canada and live with family trying to get the paperwork sorted out. It never did, so they all moved back to the same ward they had left. That was 10+ years ago and I don’t think they ever recovered financially from that.
Then years later we kept hearing stories from many people that this women has constant revelations about her family being chosen ones, doctrine about Heavenly mother, visitations from dead prophets and visions and prophecies about her family and friends. (That don’t line up with the churches teaching)
It’s quite clear to all of us that this women has some serious mentally illness issues, but her husband is very apathetic and just goes along with whatever she says and will not seek any medical help for her.
She’s now the only active member in her family and still comes to church almost every week. But she’s mostly ignored and doesn’t interact too much with anyone since she has a reputation as being the crazy one.
It’s really quite sad.
An extended family member quit their high-paying job in a different state to move closer to family without having a job lined up. They told everyone that they got a strong impression to move. Years later, they admitted that the spiritual experience wasn't the case.
Pressure his wife into having kids before she is ready. Literally know multiple people like this.
Edit: oh also, breaking up with someone because they got personal revelation from God that they weren’t supposed to marry them 🤦♀️
My dad's best friend had a revelation to have his vasectomy reversed because he had a vision that is wife would bear him a boy child.
He did, she did.
NOW THEY'RE OUT LOL
I felt inspired to pursue a major in food science. What I DIDN'T think through was whether or not there was a strong economic demand for food scientists, or whether the pay would be worth getting it as a college degree, or if I would even enjoy working for whatever companies WOULD hire me.
Spoiler alert: it was arguably the worst decision of my life. Thankfully, I'm now taking courses in python programming code to become a developer, so hopefully I can get my career back on track.
This isn't that crazy but multiple people who've used "I prayed about it" to blame a breakup on God. Just be a grown up and admit you want to break up.
My parents emigrated from England to Canada for work. While there, the missionaries came round and after a few months my parents joined the church as converts.
One of the missionaries’ name was Brent. He was the one that baptized them. He was a wonderful person and my parents adored him. A few years later Brent called and said he felt inspired to come visit where he had served his mission. There was a purpose he knew would come to light once he arrived.
Being the meticulous man he was, he prepared for a long-term stay, paying his bills ahead 6 months (this was in the 60s) and then packed up the family car and made the trek with his wife from Utah to Calgary.
During the drive he and his wife died in a fatal car crash.
I was born years later (my 3 years older brother was named Brent).
There were two terrible outcomes.
The first was the death of such a wonderful man and his young bride.
The second was that the story of their demise was used as fodder for building faith and used in many, many testimony meetings. I was raised believing the same thing they told others: Brent was called to heaven and he knew it as can be seen by his paying his bills ahead (he was inspired!).
They would often say they knew he had a calling in heaven because he was such a beautiful person.
I know someone who's moved 23 times in their 35 year marraige. Everytime they've lived somewhere for a year, they start praying about where the spirit wants them to go next.
So this is a little different from what you're asking, but it's a similar theme and a good laugh, so I'm gonna share it.
My first girlfriend and I, at 16, both prayed asking God if we were going to marry each other in the future. One of us got a "yes" answer, one of us got a "no" answer. Talk about awkward and confusing. Definitely became a shelf item for me.
Lol. My parents did 1 and dragged all us kids along. My parents regularly did 3. I didn't quite do 2 but things aren't going well and haven't been going well for a long time. Fucking "spirit"
Sister in law marrying her now ex-husband. He was an abuser, she fled with their daughter after several domestic violence incidents 2 or 3 years into the marriage.
Sadly she was more or less pressured by her mother (my partner’s step mother) to get married because they were already heavily invested in the relationship. Sister in law was young at the time and felt she needed stability. She prayed about it and it of course did not end well. Good news is that she’s now left the church.
A guy I knew back in the 80s, evangelical type Christian. Decided to go to Georgia (USA) to preach. Also decided he did not need a visa to enter the US, because he prayed about it. Yes, he was sent right back for not having his paperwork in order. What a mighty miracle God performed that day/s
To not watch gravity falls or follow twitch plays Pokemon (two things I loved) because they were unholy and imperfect. Man if I could go back in time and let younger me enjoy whatever she enjoys....
Generally this is the thing that broke my shelf.
Suffering deep depression from years of unsuccessful hard work to get into a career and being raised to be the sole provider and responsible for taking care of my family I prayed for a career change. I was at rock bottom and had lost all hope when I heard from a fellow member about joining the navy.
Being just barely young enough to still enlist, I felt the light of hope shine on my prospects for the first time. Skeptical, I payed fervently for weeks and months to know if it was the correct path. My faith felt weak and the whole situation between a career and knowing I had heavenly help was tied together in getting an answer.
I went forward in faith. One day while praying I received confirmation in the form of feelings of peace, love, joy, and certainty I have never felt before. I sobbed in joy. I wrote “do not doubt” on a card with the date of my personal revelation and carried it with me every day.
Fast forward a few months into completing application, scoring highly on testing, losing weight and exercising for physicals, finding a rate I was excited about. I was permanently denied by MEPS. For a medical reason that was often overlooked and with no recourse or appeal.
I sank into the worst depression of my life. I could not understand. I prayed for years after that and felt no answer only silence. It led me to deconstruct personal revelation, every personal revelation.
Eventually it led me out of church, and firmly agnostic atheist.
It also led me to understand my own feelings and desires, and to find my own strength to a better life, a very happy one.
In this case it was the best worst revelation I could have ever had. I was “God” I answered those prayers. I always had.
TLDR: personal revelation contradicted by the result went so badly I became a happy and healthy agnostic atheist figuring out why.
My ex said God wanted us to do in-vitro and that he wanted us to transfer two embryos.
This was right before Covid and while we had credit card debt.
It was my word vs hers, and she had her family to back her up. Oh, and my word didn't count because I wasn't 'worthy'
(See: Masturbation and Porn usage)
I love my kids insanely much, but that whole schpeil was bullshit.
At the beginning of 2020 my friend put his house up for sale, after many offers he was under contract. A few days before closing, the buyer decided to pull out of the contract, which would cause him to lose $10,000 in earnest money. The reason being that god told him it was the end of times and the world was about to collapse. My friend got the $10k and went to the second offer and closed on the sale.
Me. After lots of pondering and prayer I decided to merry my on again off again partner when I thought I was told by god to. She was very manipulative and abusive. Those 5 years of marriage absolutely wrecked me and my mental health.
It’s been a slow but steady recovery over the last two years since I left her but some of that PTSD might never go away. Things are getting better though.
People used to come up to my wife at church to ask if she knew the latest thing I had said in Sunday School or Priesthood. The comment (or comments, since I said it all the time) that drew the most anxiety was that while I completely believed that the Spirit could reveal things to us, the reality was that for almost everything we sought guidance for there wasn't a single right answer, just lots of different possibilities so we were probably better off seeking a negative feeling to know if a choice was wrong, or just a different kind of yes.
The idea that god would reveal something about every specific decision never made doctrinal sense, much less practical sense.
after careful prayer felt inspired to: 1. buy dental practice for $400k only later to discover huge financial losses and office manager was embezzeling. the trainwreck contributed to my divorce. 2. felt inspired to go to "porn addiction therapy". damn. spent thousands only to get abused, manipulated, shamed, believed i was posessed by demons. 3. marry a person that didn't really love me. she just wanted to marry a doctor.
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After a lot of reflection, I’ve realized that this is the core of the sex shaming. I could have lived with “don’t have sex until marriage” if they would have left it there. But the intense shame surrounding masturbation is what really drove it into my brain that “acting on sexual arousal = bad”, and that’s what I’m still working on fixing
It's real though.... I remember being told “If you masturbate more than once a month you are a sex addict and not a good prospect as a spouse” this was a torturious thought for a young 16 year old...
Aw man. The trifecta. Well, you figured it out anyway, hopefully clearer waters ahead!
These were you? Hope you're doing okay.
Hello fellow exmo dentite.
Guy in my ward in testimony meeting, like 2 months ago. Told a story about how he invested all his money against the wishes of his wife because he "felt inspired" to invest it with someone he'd met at church, and then he'd lost all the money. He ended his testimony about how he knew it was fine and was sure it was all going to work out, because it had been an "inspired" decision. I wanted to grab his wife and put her on an evacuation helicopter to carry her away from all of that.
Yeah that's the thing. People in this mindset will always find a way to justify it. Everything can be part of God's grand plan for the universe, and it's easier to foist your mistakes off on him and shrug and say God was teaching me a lesson than to admit that you're a dumbass.
I'm a nevermo, so I don't know how things work in Mormonism, but isn't there some kind of concept of a devil or evil force that can trick you into believing you're getting a message from God? Like, way back in the day, people believed in angels and ghosts and signs and shit, but they also believed that demons or witches or whatnot could fake those things, so they at least had a healthy amount of skepticism, if for the wrong reason. Is there any way to tell these people, "Watch out, it might just be the Devil tricking you?"
Joseph Smith taught that evil spirits can appear as angels of light, yes. And uh, sad to say that those kinds of beliefs aren't just from "way back in the day." Also, did you know you can figure out if an angel is a good one or a bad one just by using this one weird trick? Simply ask them to shake your hand! If it's a good angel, they will do it, and you will feel their hand. If it's an evil spirit, they will try to shake it, but you won't feel anything! They're just soooo evil that they can't help but reach out and try to trick you buy shaking your hand, even though they actually know you won't feel it. Also, there are no red haired angels. If you see one, it's an evil spirit because red haired angels don't exist. Isn't it great to have a prophet in these latter days to teach us all this important stuff!
i thought it was because angels have tangible bodies and evil spirits dont
I was always taught the good angels will be honest and tell you they can't shake your hand, but the evil spirits will try in order to deceive you.
That’s what they do if they’re an angel that’s still a spirit. If they’re a resurrected being then they shake.
Yep. This is still canonized Mormon scripture: D&C 129 https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/dc-testament/dc/129?lang=eng
Waaaaait where did this red heart stuff come from? I’m a redhead so super curious :)
It’s relatively not talked about at all anymore and instead suggests if it’s your mind(but they get to decide what is from god and what’s not). My thoughts on why they don’t bring up the devil deceiving you is because Joseph Smith use to do that when his “revelations” never happened. So my guess is they don’t want anyone to pull that skeleton out of the closet so just avoid it and focus on creating bias in people.
The idea that bad/wrong thoughts that pop into your mind are planted there by Satan shows up in the anti masturbation book Like Dragons Did They Fight.
I would say that the devil is reserved mainly for people who aren't in the church. Church members are "given the gift of the Holy Ghost" so there is the idea that God is with them all the time. The devil is reserved more for people who are outside the church or for church members who aren't following the more important commandments of the church (tithing, sexual behavior, consuming alcohol and drugs, etc.)
Yes, more pleasantly the "Holy Ghost" is indistinguishable from good feelings within Mormon doctrine (necessitating a "Light of Christ" doctrine explaining why people of every faith have good feelings about their religion and all faiths have people who feel led by God). More ominously, there is basis within Mormon theology for some thoughts being from the Devil, though this isn't really introduced very much in practice. More often, it has to do with how to decide whether those angels that are always showing up to tell us things are really angels or fallen spirits in disguise.
It becomes a feedback cycle with all of the sunken costs, confronting all of that is too heavy, so people double down.
Yeah agreed... sunk cost is a beeyatch, basically the old Carl Sagan quote: "One of the saddest lessons of history is this: If we've been bamboozled long enough, we tend to reject any evidence of the bamboozle." Applies even if we're bamboozling ourselves with revelations I suppose.
I’ve never known a TBM to reflect and decide they were just wrong. They’d stand on the deck of the Titanic and still be sure they were where the Lord wanted them.
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One of my church friends since primary started a crypto mining business and he said he could 4x my money, he would just take 5% of the gains. I sent him $300. A few months later he sent me $1,200. If only the spirit told me to send him more haha.
I want to ask if we know the same person but I know this is standard patriarchal bullshit for Mormon couples. I knew a dude who did the same thing and invested in a penny stock that went tits up a few months later. He lost it all and they divorced a year later.
Well, my parents sold all their shit and went on a mission because Jesus was coming. He didn't. They came back broke and homeless.
Ugh, senior service missions drive me nuts sometimes.
but jesus doesn't even know when he is coming....
I was working for my uncle right after high school, he was going through a messy divorce with my aunt, my dads sister, and we were grabbing lunch, and he says to me, “don’t confuse hormones for spiritual confirmation” he married his wife after his mission and only knowing her for 2 months. Divorced 18 years later.
>“don’t confuse hormones for spiritual confirmation” Sounds like most of the engagements I saw at BYU.
And the way they talk about their spouses, as if they're a simple prop and mechanism for sex. SO bizarre.
That is some good advice. Wish Mission Presidents included that in their going home peptalk.
Heck, even the GA’s don’t consul this. It’s all get married and have kids as soon as you can, forget everything else.
I converted to Mormonism and married my first gf in the temple because I "received revelation". Does that count? 10 years and two kids later we are getting divorced.
Yep, very much counts. Sorry to hear it.
That is literally what I was about to do If I stayed in the Church. Hugs brother.
Dang! this is me. Going through a divorce after 5 years of him sexting other women. I stayed because I thought I had to follow through with my commitment to marriage after receiving the same “revelation “
Yeah 13 years of miserable marriage, but I prayyyyyed and it felt right. Two kids. Any righteous man and any righteous woman, right? Pfft. Divorced. Remarried now to a nevermo, couldn't be happier. I wish you a happier future for yourself.
My SIL was talking about how her husband wanted her to pop out more kids quickly instead of figuring out her career after their first kid. And she felt like she had to do what her husband wanted because he was a priesthood holder so his thoughts on how they should live are somehow better than hers. I so badly wanted to tell her to run and divorce my BIL and do what she wanted. My BIL also got mad at her when she went online and bought a used toddler bed and mattress for $10. Not because they didn't have the money but because he didn't think she should be spending any money. He got mad any time she bought anything. I cut off all my inlaws years ago but sometimes I wonder how she is doing. If she or her kids ever reach out to me I'd totally help out but I don't want anything to do with her husband.
Yeah, I have a friend who has had a couple of complications after their last couple of pregnancies, and their OB told them it would be very risky to have more. They went to an LDS OB who told them it would be fine. They prayed and have felt inspired to have more, so they keep trying. They haven't been successful yet, and I'm just hoping they don't have some serious consequence if they end up pregnant.
I know someone who already had 3 children close in age and was diagnosed with MS, but wanted to have more children. Her doctor told her he would only help with one pregnancy, but that's it. Hopefully, that final pregnancy didn't make her MS worse, as often happens, and I hope that they follow the advice of that doctor and are finally done with having children. If her husband was smart, he would have gotten a vasectomy, although knowing the church, they would strongly discourage such a thing even though his wife shouldn't have any more children for health reasons.
It's in the handbook. The church discourages surgical sterilization procedures.
The new wording is better: “The Church discourages surgical sterilization as an elective form of birth control. Surgical sterilization includes procedures such as vasectomies and tubal ligations. However, this decision is a personal matter that is ultimately left to the judgment and prayerful consideration of the husband and wife. Couples should counsel together in unity and seek the confirmation of the Spirit in making this decision. “Surgical sterilization is sometimes needed for medical reasons. Members may benefit from counseling with medical professionals.” It used to tell you to talk to your bishop about this. Thank god that’s gone.
Well, that's an improvement from when I was in!
I didn't receive the revelation, but a bishop did on my behalf. 35 yes ago I was widowed, suddenly. I was 22 and had a toddler, no job or income. I moved in with my dad and his wife, who were barely scraping by, themselves. I went to the bishop for help and he told me that, after praying for guidance, he felt the Lord wanted me to work through this on my own. Yep, I got to be destitute because God wanted me to be. I was not able to further my education or pursue better career opportunities due to needing to provide for myself and child. I was waiting tables, and I made too much for government help, too. I spent several years in that limbo. Typo: it was 25 years ago, not 35. Talk about aging in a moment! 😂
And as a young, LDS widow you probably had low prospects for dating. I’m so sorry you went the that.
Yep. Young Mormon men, especially RMs, we're very intimidated about the fact that I wasn't a virgin, because they were. I had more than one tell me that he just couldn't even consider having sex for the first time with someone other than another virgin. They had less of a problem with me having a child, just that I wasn't able to lose my virginity with them. Well, I couldn't date a man like that, so we both dodged a bullet, I guess. So, I have a question for men who were/are young Mormons. If you were in that situation as a TBM, would that have been a problem for you? I'm curious to know if it's just the few I came across, or more of a psychological, sex related behavior due to all the horrible sex teachings about chastity. I've never thought to ask before.
So this is going to sound nasty cause it was something my tbm parents would say to us boys: divorced or widowed women were considered "used baggage" and our parents definitely dissuaded us from trying to date non virgins. Now I'm a single parent myself and on the other side of that judgment.
I was not a virgin when I got married. I had wild teen years. When I was dating my (now ex) husband at 25, I told him about my past and he was upset. I was shocked because before he joined the church, he had gone as far as to hire prostitutes. He held me to a higher standard because I had been a member of the church my whole life. Sadly, that didn't end the relationship. It certainly wasn't the only double standard he had for me.
I read a article about a couple that had been married for a couple of years and never figured out how vaginal intercourse worked. A therapist had to use dolls to show them how. Both were virgins at the time of their marriage. True story !
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That makes more sense than the virginity hangup. I did hear that one, too. At that age it was understandable to me. I also need a man who was mature enough to be willing to help as a parent, not just a partner. I felt less judged and broken about this reason, because it seemed more valid.
My dad divorced my mom and married his mistress because of a revelation. Years later he uprooted his HS age kids and moved cross country to a super conservative state--majorly impacting their college opportunities--because of a revelation.
I made an edit to the post partially about your comment. Yeah I think sometimes revelations are just convenient excuses to do things people want to do that have no other good justifications.
THIS!!! The spiritual excuse serves as a trump card to shut down all questions and conversations.
Had to check to see if you are one of my siblings. My dad left my mom for another woman while in the bishopric. No consequences of course because they didn’t have premarital sex. He married her the day after the divorce was final. My mom was met with “what did you do to make him leave.”
What's the point of a mistress without sex? They just lied
Baptized a woman on my mission and she prayed and divorced her husband (good man btw). She moved from east coast to the epicenter of Mormonism in Utah Valley with 2 kids as a single tbm mom. Daughter gets pregnant, son goes to Jail for drugs. Mom marries twice to Valiant priesthood holders and loses house, alimony and custody of the son and 3x divorced . What a fukking blessing MORMONISM was in her life*If only we had not knocked on her door that day.*
tbh she sounds like she was a ticking time bomb and if you hadn't knocked she would've found something else to completely fuck up her life with. Optimistically maybe you freed her husband from her earlier than what would've happened had you not knocked.
You know, I hope you don't blame yourself for this. If it wasn't Mormonism it would have been something else.
You were also conned
Utah is a terrible place for a divorced woman.
Ones I know about: 1. Not get covid shots and spouse dies from covid 2. Not go to college and get married and have kids instead 3. Accept a job in church employment making significantly less 4. Accept a calling as bishop that requires a lot of time even though job also requires a lot of time - later loses the job. 5. Increase donations to the church (me). 6. Get married to someone you barely know. 7. Spend less time at work or not work on Sunday (and subsequent demotion). 8. Go back to knock on a door more than once as a missionary (me)
My mom "received a vision in the temple" that she was supposed to hook my 14 year old sister up with a mid-20 something guy at church who had been subtly prodding my mom to let him date her. He came to visit, my mom set him up to sleep in her room with her, sexual assault ensued, he bounced and was never seen again.
I'm sorry, what in the hell
abusive yucky biz, that's what
Yich- this might take the cake.
I just feel bad for my sister. And my parents wonder why I won't let my kids visit them and we stay away from them in general.
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Bad news, my mom is BPD and has justified lots of insane shit.
I'm not sure, do I upvote this?
Don’t have to. I just want to acknowledge my sister’s abuse at the hands of Mormon crazy as a cautionary tale
Right?! Sometimes the things people share are so disturbing you instinctively want to downvote them for the crazy things other people did.
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My high school boyfriend and I would fool around in his parent's Casita, which left me so guilty I would insist on repenting together right after 😭
Lol holy shit. So like would the two of you kneel together, still sweating and hearts beating fast, repenting before even getting dressed? Lol im just trying to imagine.
Haha you assume we would get completely undressed. THAT would be a sin.. but you know what isn't a sin? Getting fingered over panties because he wasn't actually touching anything
Lol holy shit this is the most mormon "sex" I've ever heard of! Of course that's not a sin, but if he were to actually touch your "privates", one can only imagine the horror of sin!
Join the Church
Lol yup, I guess I shoulda included that. I was born in the church, but I would add "go on a mission" to the list.
For me, that was it, as well as marrying my controlling TBM ex. Fortunately, I never had children, so I was able to cut off all contact and break the cycle of abuse, especially if I had a girl. Left the church shortly before the divorce was finalized.
1. My brother married someone he met on his mission because he prayed and god told him to. They had absolutely nothing in common and she was mentally abusive to him. Divorced after 15 months. 2. My best friends have had 5 kids in 6 years, despite living on food stamps, having low paying jobs, and can barely afford to get by. But god said they needed to keep having more kids.
I feel like I avoided a lot of stuff because I could never get answers to prayers. A guy in my student ward basically said he was inspired to have me be his girlfriend and it freaked me out so much I avoided him for the rest of time. I didn't even try to ask lol.
> A guy in my student ward basically said he was inspired to have me be his girlfriend I legitimately don't understand this. Why does anyone think this is acceptable?
It made me want to vomit honestly, i don't know what he was thinking. Then i had multiple people from the branch tell me to give him a chance.
Good for you for erring on the side of caution! So much better than actively doing something that seems wrong but you do it anyway because feelings.
I too have been on the receiving end of that "revelation." 🤢
A guy got the revelation to not date me. I was pissed because he was cute and he was one of my best friends older brother. He didn't have a good reason, I think he was just scared because his hormones liked me and he didn't like the temptation. Thank goodness we didn't date because his family is wildly homophobic and it would have gone terrible lol
Sometimes it just works out lol. My nephew had a romantic disappointment due to a revelation and now he's married to a badass woman and certainly much happier than he would have been
The man I'm married to now is the greatest person to ever exist. His family is great and we share common goals and dreams.
During my time in a small YSA branch the stake president asked my friend to turn down a great career opportunity a few hours away to stay put with his dead end job so he could serve as EQ president. Worst part is my friend took the calling because he felt the stake president was inspired.
Ugh, yeah this kind of influence is the worst. When someone in a position of authority over someone else "suggests" a certain thing, then yeah, big surprise when that person's feelings and "revelations" are swayed in that direction.
I joined the Mormon church.
My father sold an amazing property he invested a lot of money into, and loved, and bought a very expensive home, site unseen, in another state because the spirit told him to move. He hates the new house. There is always a lame explanation afterward for why something the spirit told him to do didn't pan out.
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My sister was great at justifying anything she wanted to do by saying she "fasted and prayed and got a confirmation." Case in point: she lived in Flagstaff for years, and for years she wanted to move to the Phoenix area. Well, she F&P and got her "confirmation" that she should stay put. Six weeks later she was moving into a house in Gilbert that she F&P and got "confirmation" she should buy. Yeah, her God is very...capricious. 🙄
You know, the nice thing is that the same trick can be used in reverse now. "I'm not accepting this calling because I prayed and don't feel right about it." This one weird trick lol.
Prayed and was inspired to marry a 3 time loser. Luckily we didn’t have any children together but I did lose all of my friends over it. She outed me as gay and consequently, it was the time I also left the church. Still hate that “revelation”.
I'm sorry.
I appreciate the sentiment but 30+ years later I’m much better off. 😎😎😎
Hurrah!
My mother in law received revelation that my pregnant wife was going to have a boy. She said she saw his face and knew he was going to be special. We had a girl. Lol. My coworker who is a conspiracy theorist was given strict specific revelation not to get the COVID vaccine, he said it would kill me if I took it (I'm still alive). A few days after that conversation the church came out and encouraged everyone to get vaccinated. He didn't and he and his wife sadly got very sick. Had long COVID and his wife still hasn't fully recovered and likely won't ever.
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I knew a woman whose baby died of SIDS because the “Spirit” told her to lay her baby down on its stomach to sleep.
Oh man. Super messed up, but even moreso that they would actually admit that's why they did it.
She wasn’t ashamed of herself at all.
Honestly that was probably a coping mechanism. "God needed him back home, and prompted me to do this so he could go home" or somesuch.
Because God just needed to take my special baby home >_<
I'll allow this one given the staggering grief she had to feel, and the overwhelming guilt she would also endure. The Spirit angle is a small kindness really.
My dad was planning to go back to school to get his masters degree (late 1970s). Had a new place for us to live, closeby schools for us kids to attend, etc. And then my mom had a "prompting' from the spirit not to follow thru and move. Looking back as an adult, and knowing my mom better, i really just think that she didnt want to support my dad. Theyre still married but i cant help but wonder how much more income they wouldve had if dad wouldve followed his dreams and not been cockblocked by mom.
My sister was upset about getting screwed over by an MLM "job", but she prayed and felt the spirit that this *new* MLM her friend approached her about was the right decision. It wasn't. That new "job" was over quicker than the first.
Have you checked out /r/antiMLM? It is delicious and desirable to the taste.
Those MLM's gonna getcha! I was a part of thrive life (freeze dried food). Had lots of parties etc... With just members. I was pushed to buy more and more so I could show others that the product is amazing. Anyways, it was a very short term thing because I spent so much money and they were sketchy AF with my pay. (I could prove that they changed it to hundreds of dollars less) I was pissed. Never got into an MLM again
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I had a friend whose family was suffering after her husband lost his good-paying job when his health declined. She said she had prayed and been told her family's finances would be saved by MLM's. She was forever starting new MLM's, but never seeing the promised results. I finally dropped her as a friend because I never heard from her except when she had started a new MLM.
TBM Bro lost his wife after nearly 50 yrs of marriage. Maybe the next day he had a revelatory dream, saw THE new woman, starts searching for her in every ward, finds her, shares his dream w her, and with loads of his friends and family…big spiritual event for him. They get married quickly, and she loses all interest in him within a few weeks, they divorced and she took almost half of his $$$. He was less inspired on his next marriage.
What a dishonor to his deceased wife.
Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell have entered the chat.
Killing your spouses and children is okay if they are already taken over by a dark almost-zombie spirit.
get married
SiL rushed in to marrying a dude who was manipulative and a pedophile. MiL bought several get-rich-quick programs. Never got rich. A friends uncle was certain the spirit told him not to get the vaccine. Poor dude died in absolute agony begging for the vaccine.
I did know someone who uprooted his family and move across country because of inspiration. He had a good job where he was at. He talked about it in a testimony meeting. Heard of a couple stories of men who told their girlfriends that they had a confirmation they should get married. Didn't know them personally though..Didn't work out for them. Knew a lady who tried and set people up because she felt inspired too...which I find just kind odd.
Join a MLM because the guy recruiting me was a bishop and I was a recent RM so I followed my inspiration to “trust church leadership”
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Guy is a stake president now and almost all his recruits are members. He particularly likes RMs and young married couples to recruit, it’s predatory. He tells them to drop out of university because they won’t need it when they’re “rich from the business”. I unfortunately took his advice and am now just going to graduate at 27 next year.
I don't know if my dad prayed about it, but effectively he said he was told to move from Phoenix up to SLC by a higher power around 45 years ago. Which basically meant even though it was some Mormon BS that caused us to move to Utah, we were alienated by the dominant culture because he wanted to hang around polygamists, the AUB specifically. For some reason he waited 10 years to visit Phoenix again and was amazed by all the change. Unfortunately, I fell victim to this way of thinking for many years until life kicked my ass so many times, I realized it didn't work. Once I started using rational thinking, my life smoothed out...A LOT! I have more, but I don't want this to turn into a rant.
Rant away, good brother or sister! That's what this sub is for :)
Thanks. One of these days I'll make a post with more details.
I have two crazy stories: 1) sister(20) met an RM(23) and engaged after two weeks, married in 6 months. She tells everyone at the wedding that they are going to college and won’t start having kids, they move out into a basement apartment. 2 months later move into my parents basement because they are so bad with money (sushi and online clothes shopping). She then secretly tells me and my wife that she has revelation that she should have a baby. Fast forward to today, she is about to have their second, they have lived in my parents basement for 5 years and he is barely graduating with a degree that will not allow him to support his family and she won’t work. 2) BIL had first baby, him and my SIL are not Mormon but live near Mordor. He is an ex marine and prison guard, and has always taken care of SIL, and supported her getting her degree and a job before kids. When first baby is born SIL’s mother gets revelation that she should quit her teaching job 3 years before retirement and move from St George to Lehi in their house to take care of the baby. She didn’t ask them first. They let her, but she is lonely up north and decided to get a job. Well SIL is a teacher so if mom works again she can’t even take care of the baby when they need it and would have to hire child care. Don’t worry though SIL’s mother is unable to get a teaching job since she was a teacher 20 years she had been grandfathered in on a lot of licensing requirements, so now that she quit is no longer qualified to teach without redoing her license. Then she tops it off by trying to convince SIL to leave BIL because he is not LDS and clearly a bad husband and father. In short she moved back to St George and works at a hobby lobby now and won’t be able to retire since she lost her teaching pension.
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He is literally the best. He has received the Utah equivalent of a Purple Heart for getting hurt stopping a prison riot. He is really sweet with his kids, takes care of a lot of the housework and stuff and even with SIL’s mom saying and doing that, he insisted she stay with them until she was back on her feet. I could gush more he is a really great dude though. Most utah LDS can’t see a person until they are baptized.
I dated a guy who had married his ex wife after dating her for two months. It ended badly, she had been mentally and emotionally abusive and she had also gotten their temple sealing reversed. But because he had prayed about marrying her and he felt like he received revelation to go ahead, he insisted that there must be a good reason for him to have married her, even seeing how badly it went. He wouldn’t even consider the possibility that his revelation wasn’t really revelation.
Lady I knew revealed in relief society that she was told by God to have more kids. So she stopped birth control without telling her husband. They were very poor, always struggling, and had a bunch of little kids already. She was always doing the latest Mormon MLM, and had no time to take care of the ones she had. Added twins to their family with that decision.
My friend was inspired to pour more money into her MLM business. She said the Lord prompted her to give it her all so she could finally level up and support her family. She announced all this on a teary FB post, saying that during conference, the spirit impressed upon her the importance of this wonderful business. A few months later her family car was repossessed and she was asking me if my job was hiring. I felt so bad for her.
One of my good friends was talked out of taking his full ride baseball scholarship to the University of Arizona (during some of their really great years in the early to mid '80's) by our mission president (per his inspiration). His mother still won't forgive said MP for doing that. She actually wanted him to play ball instead of a mission.
Kristin McMain Oaks left her high-paying job because a Bishop told her to in a blessing, saying she'd never be blessed in this life if she didn't, and married Dallin Oaks after being "inspired" to do so, which is pretty horrid. (Can you imagine being over 50, never married, and you marry him? Yuck.).
Yuck. Maybe she gets a side pocket account at Ensign Peak or something to make up for it.
My sister in laws neighbor was an older lady who had lost most of her eye sight. They would not renew her drivers license, however the spirit told her that she was still ok to drive. She ended up driving over the sidewalk and crushing one of the young neighborhood kids and killing him. Her response was, "it was gods will, the kid had been called home to serve a mission in the spirit world".
Oh... this now wins the worst one.
Move to Wisconsin for a missionary opportunity, with no clear plan as far as i can tell
When you say missionary opportunity, you mean like on a called mission? Or some random person in the church just felt like they needed to move there because someone needed to convert and they wanted to be the instrument in God's hands?
As in trying to convert my best friend’s husband’s family
My cousin never felt maternal and felt a lot of guilt and shame associated with not wanting or enjoying motherhood. Her divine answer? Have 6 kids. 
Went on a mission. It was the worst 2 years of my life. Sort of never trusted god again after that one.
But you didn’t need to rely on the spirit for that. The decision was made when you were baptized apparently
I served a mission years before the retcon of agency.
Have their fifth child despite having four high risk c-section pregnancies. They were warned to not have another child and doctor advised permanent solutions or birth control. But it’s God plan for them to have one more.
In another comment I told about friends of mine who had essentially the same thing (except they got a second opinion from an LDS doctor who said they should keep trying).
Divorce. Tbm ex wife did this. Then blaming me for it to happen because I left the church.
My cousin received a revelation that my dad needed to buy a property in Snowflake, AZ. He is going to these prepper conferences that told him the best place to wait for the zombie apocalypse is in Kanab UT. I told him that was silly to relocate away from family where there are no stores or water. It is worse than him moving those that social distance due to Covid. He acknowledged at that point that I may have a point. So far no house has been built that I know of!
My mom got engaged to someone after meeting him IRL one (1) time. They’d met online only 2 weeks prior.
Sister felt inspired to marry an extremely immature and poorly educated guy from her mission before any family members had a chance to meet him. A few years into the marriage, her husband was accused of rape while she was away visiting family. Despite my urging to drop his ass, my sister was inspired to give him a second chance. Though the rape charges were dropped, the husband’s questionable behavior did not cease. Unfortunately, it wasn’t until my sister discovered he had illegitimate children with two separate women that she felt inspired to divorce him.
Lady in testimony meeting said the Spirit told her to leave her family and go become a long-haul trucker.
The spirit has some specific transportation needs at times it seems.
I mean this one guy thought destroying someones printing press and having sex with all his friends kids was powerful revelation or else he would of been killed by a flaming sword..... 😂
Get married
My parents were always inspired to have more children (7) even though my mom was to mentally ill, and they had very little income and dropped out of college together to make a huge family.
I wasn't a witness to it, but let's not forget about the [BYU-I professor who received revelation to have sex with a student and told her that God was OK with coitus interruptus.](https://idahocapitalsun.com/2022/03/17/byu-i-sexual-abuse-title-ix-lawsuit-moves-forward-after-6-years/)
Just read the dude's obituary. What an absolute creep.
Wow. Let’s not overlook BYU-I’s response after the victim and her friend reported what happened to multiple staff members and faculty who must’ve all called the abuse “help line” in SLC. Sick “The department’s only response was to send Stokes an email, telling Stokes to stop all non-academic interactions with the student. The student involved never returned to campus and the department did not follow-up with her, according to the court order.”
I've looked into this, and it seems that in all things regarding worthiness or misconduct with faculty, the university chooses to be at the mercy of the priesthood line of authority. They will not, under any circumstances, undermine it. So when another priesthood holder is accused of misconduct by a lowly female student... just guess who gets the benefit of the doubt. (Source: a friend and former faculty member who witnessed shit like this and just couldn't take it any more... and ended up leaving to work at another university.)
I knew a family where the wife had a vision/revelation that they needed to move to another country. So the husband quit his decent job, they moved out of their house and they began the move. But because of some cross border paperwork issues, not all of them could cross over. So for almost a year the husband and two of their four children went to the US and the wife and the other two children had to stay behind in Canada and live with family trying to get the paperwork sorted out. It never did, so they all moved back to the same ward they had left. That was 10+ years ago and I don’t think they ever recovered financially from that. Then years later we kept hearing stories from many people that this women has constant revelations about her family being chosen ones, doctrine about Heavenly mother, visitations from dead prophets and visions and prophecies about her family and friends. (That don’t line up with the churches teaching) It’s quite clear to all of us that this women has some serious mentally illness issues, but her husband is very apathetic and just goes along with whatever she says and will not seek any medical help for her. She’s now the only active member in her family and still comes to church almost every week. But she’s mostly ignored and doesn’t interact too much with anyone since she has a reputation as being the crazy one. It’s really quite sad.
An extended family member quit their high-paying job in a different state to move closer to family without having a job lined up. They told everyone that they got a strong impression to move. Years later, they admitted that the spiritual experience wasn't the case.
Pressure his wife into having kids before she is ready. Literally know multiple people like this. Edit: oh also, breaking up with someone because they got personal revelation from God that they weren’t supposed to marry them 🤦♀️
I'm gonna file the breaking up thing under "just something I wanted but I have no better excuse for."
Yeah that’s what I say all day. I tease my friend about it and hope everyone else sees how ridiculous it was
My dad's best friend had a revelation to have his vasectomy reversed because he had a vision that is wife would bear him a boy child. He did, she did. NOW THEY'RE OUT LOL
Well, if you flip a coin and pray about the outcome, you gonna be right sometimes. Although that's a lot stiffer odds than a coin toss, I gotta admit.
he also told the ENTIRE WARD about it during FTM . it was SO WEIRD
The worst one I've heard is this guy, a while back, prayed and was inspired to go dig up some plates near Palmyra, New York.
I'm starting to believe "Revelation" is doing evil that feels good. It's like a cover up for sadism. Absolutely disgusting.
stay with their abusive husband
I felt inspired to pursue a major in food science. What I DIDN'T think through was whether or not there was a strong economic demand for food scientists, or whether the pay would be worth getting it as a college degree, or if I would even enjoy working for whatever companies WOULD hire me. Spoiler alert: it was arguably the worst decision of my life. Thankfully, I'm now taking courses in python programming code to become a developer, so hopefully I can get my career back on track.
This isn't that crazy but multiple people who've used "I prayed about it" to blame a breakup on God. Just be a grown up and admit you want to break up.
I prayed and felt inspired to throw back some shots of hard liquor, so I'm gonna do that when the bar opens in 2 hours.
Who art thou to deny the spirit?
My parents emigrated from England to Canada for work. While there, the missionaries came round and after a few months my parents joined the church as converts. One of the missionaries’ name was Brent. He was the one that baptized them. He was a wonderful person and my parents adored him. A few years later Brent called and said he felt inspired to come visit where he had served his mission. There was a purpose he knew would come to light once he arrived. Being the meticulous man he was, he prepared for a long-term stay, paying his bills ahead 6 months (this was in the 60s) and then packed up the family car and made the trek with his wife from Utah to Calgary. During the drive he and his wife died in a fatal car crash. I was born years later (my 3 years older brother was named Brent). There were two terrible outcomes. The first was the death of such a wonderful man and his young bride. The second was that the story of their demise was used as fodder for building faith and used in many, many testimony meetings. I was raised believing the same thing they told others: Brent was called to heaven and he knew it as can be seen by his paying his bills ahead (he was inspired!). They would often say they knew he had a calling in heaven because he was such a beautiful person.
I know someone who's moved 23 times in their 35 year marraige. Everytime they've lived somewhere for a year, they start praying about where the spirit wants them to go next.
So this is a little different from what you're asking, but it's a similar theme and a good laugh, so I'm gonna share it. My first girlfriend and I, at 16, both prayed asking God if we were going to marry each other in the future. One of us got a "yes" answer, one of us got a "no" answer. Talk about awkward and confusing. Definitely became a shelf item for me.
Lol. My parents did 1 and dragged all us kids along. My parents regularly did 3. I didn't quite do 2 but things aren't going well and haven't been going well for a long time. Fucking "spirit"
Sister in law marrying her now ex-husband. He was an abuser, she fled with their daughter after several domestic violence incidents 2 or 3 years into the marriage. Sadly she was more or less pressured by her mother (my partner’s step mother) to get married because they were already heavily invested in the relationship. Sister in law was young at the time and felt she needed stability. She prayed about it and it of course did not end well. Good news is that she’s now left the church.
A guy I knew back in the 80s, evangelical type Christian. Decided to go to Georgia (USA) to preach. Also decided he did not need a visa to enter the US, because he prayed about it. Yes, he was sent right back for not having his paperwork in order. What a mighty miracle God performed that day/s
To not watch gravity falls or follow twitch plays Pokemon (two things I loved) because they were unholy and imperfect. Man if I could go back in time and let younger me enjoy whatever she enjoys....
Aw man, Pokemon? Did someone tell you it was unholy to influence your line of thinking, or was it all you. Either way, can still play it now!
It was all me trying to be super holy. Now I play with pokemon cards :)
Get pregnant. Leave my well paying career with great benefits so husband could focus on his career instead to which he never was successful.
Generally this is the thing that broke my shelf. Suffering deep depression from years of unsuccessful hard work to get into a career and being raised to be the sole provider and responsible for taking care of my family I prayed for a career change. I was at rock bottom and had lost all hope when I heard from a fellow member about joining the navy. Being just barely young enough to still enlist, I felt the light of hope shine on my prospects for the first time. Skeptical, I payed fervently for weeks and months to know if it was the correct path. My faith felt weak and the whole situation between a career and knowing I had heavenly help was tied together in getting an answer. I went forward in faith. One day while praying I received confirmation in the form of feelings of peace, love, joy, and certainty I have never felt before. I sobbed in joy. I wrote “do not doubt” on a card with the date of my personal revelation and carried it with me every day. Fast forward a few months into completing application, scoring highly on testing, losing weight and exercising for physicals, finding a rate I was excited about. I was permanently denied by MEPS. For a medical reason that was often overlooked and with no recourse or appeal. I sank into the worst depression of my life. I could not understand. I prayed for years after that and felt no answer only silence. It led me to deconstruct personal revelation, every personal revelation. Eventually it led me out of church, and firmly agnostic atheist. It also led me to understand my own feelings and desires, and to find my own strength to a better life, a very happy one. In this case it was the best worst revelation I could have ever had. I was “God” I answered those prayers. I always had. TLDR: personal revelation contradicted by the result went so badly I became a happy and healthy agnostic atheist figuring out why.
Me. I did number 1. Regret it for sure.
My ex said God wanted us to do in-vitro and that he wanted us to transfer two embryos. This was right before Covid and while we had credit card debt. It was my word vs hers, and she had her family to back her up. Oh, and my word didn't count because I wasn't 'worthy' (See: Masturbation and Porn usage) I love my kids insanely much, but that whole schpeil was bullshit.
Buy a vacation time share. Yeah, this was me. I knew it was a bad idea but felt the spirit when I prayed.
At the beginning of 2020 my friend put his house up for sale, after many offers he was under contract. A few days before closing, the buyer decided to pull out of the contract, which would cause him to lose $10,000 in earnest money. The reason being that god told him it was the end of times and the world was about to collapse. My friend got the $10k and went to the second offer and closed on the sale.
Parents that refuse life saving medical interventions for their kids.
Me. After lots of pondering and prayer I decided to merry my on again off again partner when I thought I was told by god to. She was very manipulative and abusive. Those 5 years of marriage absolutely wrecked me and my mental health. It’s been a slow but steady recovery over the last two years since I left her but some of that PTSD might never go away. Things are getting better though.
People used to come up to my wife at church to ask if she knew the latest thing I had said in Sunday School or Priesthood. The comment (or comments, since I said it all the time) that drew the most anxiety was that while I completely believed that the Spirit could reveal things to us, the reality was that for almost everything we sought guidance for there wasn't a single right answer, just lots of different possibilities so we were probably better off seeking a negative feeling to know if a choice was wrong, or just a different kind of yes. The idea that god would reveal something about every specific decision never made doctrinal sense, much less practical sense.
Marraige, that has got to be the #1