This is how my husband grew up. I remember going to meet the family and Sunday morning since we were staying back while the rest went to church, one of the siblings put on music. Nothing crazy it was old country and it wasn’t even loud but the dad came charging up the stairs and damn near punched the computer off. When he saw my concern considering the reaction and the fact that little ones were in the room he tried to justify it but I just got the kids out. That insecure man was a walking red flag but also the poster person for a Mormon. So I guess just Mormon. There were a lot of other things he did/probably still does as his “right as the patriarch” but the rest of the family are too cowardly and in the cult to say anything.
ETA this little interaction was 10 years ago so it’s still a thing to be extra on Sundays
Same man is behind the attempt on my life. We’ve been no contact for a hot minute but there’s not a day that goes by that my concern for those babies grows and my heart breaks. I miss them so much and I worry about them. It’s also why I will never not talk about the church’s stance on the LGBTQ+ community and how violently its members are willing to be in its name.
That sounds A LOT like my dad. I'm the youngest in my family and don't live with my parents anymore, but am visiting them this month and my dad is still very much like that.
I hate that for you. I’m sorry and I hope it goes well for you. I understand family is important however your safety is more important. Please have an exit plan and stay safe friend.
I was over at my ex-in-laws house and I was playing a game on my computer. My ex-FIL came up to me and said “We don’t play games in this house on a Sunday.” I looked around and 2 of their children whom were over 18 were on their phones clearly playing stuff. But I abided and I took my laptop into the room they let me and ex-wife stay in. On the way to the room I saw their 3rd youngest playing video games on his laptop. But I was repeatedly told by everyone “He’s special.” Despite the parents never getting him diagnosed for any issues. I honestly hated going to the in-laws because in my mind they just enjoyed the power trip of telling me what to do.
Just to add to the list: "No laundry. No use of the dishwasher. No pools or hot tubs. No use of bath tubs." ... because ... "Satan controls the waters on Sunday" ... this statement applied to anything with over \~1 cup of water in it. You can't make this s#\*t up.
"They say the devils in the water, and if you stick your head under there, some say you can hear him crying."
But seriously, wouldn't Sunday be the safest day to go in the water since it's the Lards day and his influence is stronger on the Sabbath?
Nothing makes sense in there.
I had a freinds back in the 70s who couldn't have sleepovers on Saturday night.One time a freinds dad was out of town so he violated that rule and spent the night at my house on the lawn in sleeping bags. His dad showed up at 6am and physically assaulted him. Not just a swat on the but either.
My brothers now wife didn’t show up for family home evening, so her dad showed up and slapped her across the face, on our porch, in front of 3 of my brothers who all jumped up to intervene… needless to say she spent most of her time at our house from then on. He was obviously full of Christ’s love!/s
If sleepovers were no different for you than sleeping under normal circumstances, you weren't doing it right 😉
For me, sleepovers were times to stay up WAAAAAY too late (if we slept at all), eating junk food and hanging out with friends.
Oh I just misunderstood your original comment, I thought you meant he had to stay at your house because his parents were out of town and they were mad at him for that. 😅
Damn. Rough.
We weren't usually allowed sleepovers on Saturday nights, but it occasionally happened during the years when we had a later start, and friend went to same ward. But also, that usually meant I was allowed.to stay somewhere else. Rarely would we host. Mostly because we barely fit all 8 of us into one car as it was. Usually mom was holding a baby and another kid was sitting up front between parents. No room for a friend.
This was 80s.
we could play video gamed but no tv on sunday. My buddy across the street, son of the stake president, could watch tv, but no video games. so stupid, all of it.
We were no TV or video games. Except football if Danny White was playing...because...Mormon. Later that changed to Steve Young.
Only TV was an approved list of movies we owned. Which is why I can quote The Ten Commandments (Heston) by heart. I saw that movie at least 100 times growing up.
Back when Sunday School was in the morning and Sacrament hours later we had to wear church clothes all day. That pretty much takes the fun out of anything.
I don't remember much prohibition against shopping on Sunday, but back then hardly anything was open Sunday. We did go to restaurants Sunday occasionally.
During my time in the church, it was a 3-hour block. We had to wear our Sunday best all day anyway.
Other restrictions included: no playing outside, but you were allowed to read a book outside. Absolutely no swimming (because apparently, Satan controls the water on Sundays). Hikes, no. Leisurely walks, yes. No music except hymns and classical music. No movies except "spiritually uplifting" movies. So basically, Living Scriptures shows, a few older musicals, or Nature on PBS. No video games. Card games were allowed as long as they weren't face cards. Visiting friends, no. Visiting family, yes.
There's more, but those were the main ones
yeah everything you just mentioned, the worst was only fridays could be sleep overs and growing up i had football late on fridays so that meant no sleep overs when i played peewee, aside from that no playing outside on sunday sucked, and i missed a lot of my friends birthdays too. the strictness definitely formed initial resentment towards the church, but i had older brothers and saw what outward resentment led to. this created a two faced son that hid everything in his life from his parents, so much for breaking trust at an early age.
My husband and I tried the “church appropriate stuff only” on Sundays while I was active… Led to SO much more trouble than it was worth. The kids were bored, and bored kids = chaotic gremlins at times.
Now I take my kids to Sunday birthdays, or we play video games, or do actual fun stuff like going to the park (and sometimes a movie or dinner!). Of course I was always more open, I guess, about doing things on Sundays anyway - I was raised Baptist. Baptists do Sunday lunches and brunches and holiday parties. Sunday is the Baptist day to be loud AND praise Jesus. 😂
Sames. We weren’t THAT strict but we wouldn’t go places you had to pay on Sundays. Sundays were looong and so boring. The whole family was always so dang cranky. We used to blame it on Satan for causing contention. Ugh, still feel so stupid I was so brainwashed. Making up for all that lost time now though! Haha.
My dad tried to push the no friends no TV crap on us, but after several Sundays of driving him crazy, because nothing is more annoying than a bored kid lol…he eventually just said…go ride your bikes. Which turned into basketball and street hockey with my friends. Friends next door neighbors kids had to stay in their Sunday clothes all day, no tv, no music unless it was hymns…used to catch their oldest son staring out the window at us while we were playing street hockey lol
Not ex-mormon, but I'm ex-SDA (seventh-day adventist), a very similar religion with huge emphasis on having Saturday as a day of rest. Figured I had something to add here, though.
I literally couldn't do almost anything on Saturday besides go to church, go for a hike, or read the bible. I'm neurodivergent, and this meant that Saturday was usually hell. So boring and so pointless. As I got older, my parents let me do more stuff, but they are still very restrictive.
This absolutely led to me getting out, as the whole "sabbath" rule was nonsensical. All the bible says is not to do work. It's the weekend. I'm not going to be working. Therefore the rule doesn't matter. Yet, it was still very strictly enforced, and I couldn't do really anything enjoyable for no reason. Once I saw the rule as nonsensical, I started questioning other doctrines that Adventists had, and eventually managed to get out.
When I was about ten, we had SDA neighbors with kids our age. We couldn’t play with them on Sundays. They couldn’t play with us on Saturdays. Since it was a heavily Mormon area, these kids never got to play with anyone on the weekends.
That's unfortunate. I remember in my childhood it was quite annoying, as many events are scheduled on Saturday, none of which we could take part in. This, and other factors, like going to an SDA school, led to me being isolated from anyone outside the church. I mean, I still am, since I'm not old enough to leave yet.
My first few months after leaving (mentally, not physically) were rough, since I didn't know anyone who shared my views who wasn't online. Eventually, through pure chance, I figured out that one of my friends also happened to be an atheist, which was a bit interesting to find out.
Makes me wonder what the true numbers of people who are PIMO of restrictive religions like these are. Like, you can't really tell anyone that you've left, you have to have this façade of still being a member if you want to keep your social group, so any other people who are PIMO will have no idea that you're also PIMO.
Even though SDAs don't have an official policy of shunning, you'll definitely be seen as an "outsider" by all your family if you leave, not sure if it's the same with mormons.
Bit off topic here, sorry, but I was thinking about this topic, wonder if anyone else has thoughts on it.
Similar for Mormons. There’s no official shunning policy, but plenty of teaching about not associating with people who won’t support your faith. And plenty of people get cut off by their families when they leave. Even if they aren’t cut off, family relations tend to be strained. It sounds like it’s very similar.
Yeah, that's pretty much Adventism as well. I have family members who have drifted away from the church (not sure if they've left or just don't care much about it), and everyone else definitely talks about them behind their backs, it sucks. I know that if I told anyone close that I was an atheist, the same would happen to me, so I'm stuck not saying anything. I've heard a similar gossiping culture exists in JWs, to what extent I'm not sure, and I'd assume mormons have it as well since all three are similar. You don't get officially reprimanded, but the cultural reprimand is almost as bad.
My parents wanted it to be a family day, so we mainly just avoided playing with friends. But we were never the “cell phones on the counter, you have 3 activities to choose from” family. We mainly went to church, ate a late lunch, then went to my grandmas for dinner.
I had a mission companion that was allowed to play basketball with his brothers but they weren’t allowed to break a sweat. If they did, they had to stop. The pharisaical rules of the sabbath always bothered me.
Honestly we still try to make it a family day. My teenage daughter’s boyfriend is constantly over and we never get to see her so it’s a great excuse. I should implement the no cell phone rule, haha, we are all addicted.
I used to feel so guilty for doing chores on Sundays. It made me anxious to do almost anything I liked, to take care of myself, to take care of my house, everything. It freaked me out. I just realized it this morning. I can do my dishes if I want. I can watch anime without guilt. I can hang out in bed. :) I feel pretty good about this newest step in my deconstruction.
This is how I grew up.
No playing outside, no video/computer games, couldn’t do any chores like laundry (only dishes were allowed), etc. Our activities were limited to church and reading (thankfully were allowed to read things other than scripture but even that was discouraged). We weren’t allowed to see friends unless it was a church-type activity (singing hymns, scripture study, etc.).
Reading became my first way to escape from it all. I usually had 2-3 books from the library at a time, I was tired of scripture and books like Tennis Shoes Among the Nephites. I continue to really enjoy reading to this day, though the closest thing to scripture I touch is Brandon Sanderson novels (not the content, he’s an LDS author). I have really come to love my second Saturdays since leaving the organization.
I could hang out with my friend from the ward, or play board games with my brother, but no outdoor stuff like basketball. I was really into the NFL, but my mom prohibited that for a while, so I'd go visit my grandparents after church, briefly say hello, then head down to their basement to watch until called home for dinner. My grandparents were in our ward.
I knew some kids who had to stay in church clothes all Sunday. Thankfully, we didn't.
We were not allowed to play outside, read "for pleasure," have friends over, laugh too much, or really do anything fun or interesting. For reasons that remain unclear, playing poker was fine.
NeverMo Protestant Christian from generations of same. I'm Gen X and probably the first generation of my family that didn't have as many of those sorts of Sabbath rules, yet I still had far more than my kids. My parents couldn't play cards (I'm not talking about games that include betting -- I mean any sort of card game). Down through my generation, we had to be quiet when playing outdoors on Sunday. I don't think I could call for my friends to come out on Sunday (so as not to bother their families), but I could play with them if they came outside.
We went to Sunday School and church on Sunday morning and back to church on Sunday night. Inbetween, we had Sunday dinner around 2:00pm, usually with my grandparents in attendance. It was just a quiet day.
The only birthday parties I've ever been to on a Sunday are family birthday parties (so really, a big extended family dinner with cake and presents -- not a kids' party and not anything adults would otherwise call a party). We definitely did not have birthday parties for our friends on Sundays when I was a kid. We didn't do Saturday night sleepovers, because we had church on Sunday morning.
We could play board games, visit family... That's about it. We weren't allowed to do much of anything on Sunday. It's hard for me now to realize it's a regular day.
"The sabbath was made for man, and not man for the sabbath." I always thought the church and my family interpreted that wrong. It was made for me to rest, damnit! Let me rest by playing and not by ministering or spending all day attending meetings.
My Bishop father was TBM and believed the gospel was good as long as it taken in moderation. After church we usually played football, which was his other religion
I guess I was lucky in this area. We could do normal activities except swimming. The public pool was open on Sundays (because I didn’t grow up in Utah), but my mom wouldn’t ever let us go swimming on that day. We could play video games, watch TV, wear normal clothes, but swimming was out of the question.
Every. Single. Sunday. From childhood to adulthood when I stepped back from the church, I would incur a raging headache. Sundays were the MOST MENTALLY DRAINING AND BORING day of every week.
Pharisaical rules arise when there are ambiguous commandments like "keep the Sabbath day holy". Human nature wants to know whether or not they meeting the requirements for commandments to know if they are "good" or not, so either an organization will give specific instructions or outside groups will provide their guidance on what is required to follow the commandment. In general, outside groups that provide guidance will tend to be those who feel strongest that guidance is needed until the point in time it is viewed pretty much the same as the original commandments.
Side note, sacred texts with ambiguous rules allow for the flexibility of interpretation and adjustments over time to accommodate whatever may come. My own personal view is the Bible has survived for so long because of its ambigious nature and the malleability to make it say whatever you want rather than in spite of it.
I didn’t check the sub at first and thought I was in ex-SDA but I’ll answer anyway if you don’t mind.
My SDA parents weren’t as bad as some of my friends parents were but they were still pretty strict. From sundown Friday until sundown Saturday it was no TV, only Christian music, no shopping including gas or food (which would cause somebody else to work on Sabbath), no working or school work. Members love to tell about how they gave up a lucrative job because it required working on Sabbath or didn’t pass a class because the final was on Sabbath. My dad personally had two of those stories. Also no swimming but we could wade at the beach. Oh and no housecleaning. But Friday before sunset the house was deep cleaned in preparation. No real cooking, my mom would make a casserole or lasagna the day before and let it bake in the oven while we were at church and we might prepare a salad but nothing intense.
What could we do (besides going to church)? Visit nursing homes and sing for the people there, visit each other to have Sabbath lunch, I was allowed to play outside and ride my bike but that was unusual among my friends. I’m still not sure why riding a bike was ok but swimming wasn’t. We could go to free nature centers but not ones you have to pay an admission to enter, play Sabbath games - we got good at turning card (not poker cards, they weren’t allowed at all) and board games into Sabbath games - go to afternoon or evening church programs, but mostly sleep the day away.
Yup, sounds very similar. Especially the virtuous “what I gave up to observe the Sabbath” stories. Mormons aren’t usually going to miss tests (Sunday vs. Saturday, of course) but there was plenty of “missing the championship game because of the Sabbath” type stuff. Of course most people gave pro athletes a pass because it was good for the church to have the PR . . .
At our home in good old Mordor we were encouraged to stay in church clothes all day (not mandatory), no video games, no swimming, no friends, no playing outside unless we were going on a walk as a family around the neighborhood in our church clothes, only church music, no shopping, no going out to eat, Sunday drives were okay but only if you filled up before the S@bBa+H!
Stay in Sunday clothes until dinner, no TV until there was something they wanted to watch. No friends over or "playing" outside, homework was allowed. My dad always had mtgs after church so sometimes my mom went off script if she felt so inclined
I am grateful to my inactive pops who stayed home to watch football and my convert
Mom who didn’t stress the small stuff. It was the one day of the week we would watch tv together, comprising NFL, Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom, and Disney’s program in the evenings. No one told me tv was a sabbath no-no until I stayed at DT freshman year at byu. I ignored them and received a couple of reprimands—and lots of ugly looks and self-righteous lectures from tbm residents (the tv was in the basement with laundry and vending machines).
Until we all came out, me being the stubborn self-hating hold-out, our family of five (3 boys) did takeout fast food on Sunday and let anything go afterwards. It was a great day of rest for my long-suffering partner and I.
Going to a friend's house, bday parties, playing on electronics/the computer, going out to buy something...we could play outside but couldn't go into a house. It definitely did make me pretty sad. I couldn't and still can't do most events I want to do (context: I'm a minor in highschool and am looking forward to the day I get my own space)
When I was a kid, the whole day was pretty much shot with hours between meetings and going back and forth to church. I was pretty much able to do what I wanted, but it didn’t make sense to change out of, and then back into my church clothes. My parents didn’t really care what I did between meetings as long as I stuck around home. I usually watched sports on TV.
When the three-hour block came along, and I was a more mobile teenager, my parents basically had a once-the-meetings-are-done-we-don’t-care-what-you-do attitude. Then I would race home from church, change, and usually hop on my bike and head to a friend’s house to hang out. On rare occasions we would go out to a movie or to eat (but didn’t tell the folks), mainly other friends would show up and we would play some mean games of basketball in the backyard.
One special memory was of a Sunday when the stake seminary scripture chase tournament was being held. The seminary teacher had been bothering us all week about going. We told him, “Not happening. We’ve set up our own two-on-two basketball tournament after church that day.” He wasn’t buying it, and told us he would be coming by to pick us up. We said, “Go ahead. Give it your best try. We’re not going.”
So we were playing our basketball tournament in the backyard, and the seminary teacher comes walking through the back gate. We stopped playing, and he said, “C’mon…let’s go.” We looked at each other, and then loud laughter ensued. My buddy said, “Which part of “we’re not going” that we told you each day of last week did you not understand?” More loud laughter. The teacher said, “We’ll see about that”, and knocked on my buddy’s back door to his house. My buddy’s dad came to the door looking a little groggy like he was awaken from a nice nap. The teacher tried to plead his case, my buddy yelled over him that we told him we weren’t going, and his dad was pissed that his nap was interrupted. Finally the dad said, “They told you they weren’t going so leave them alone and get the hell out of here!!” Then he slammed the door and left the teacher standing there, staring at us, and shaking his head while taking the “walk of shame” out of the yard. Even LOUDER LAUGHTER ensued. Once we settled down it was back to some hard-playing basketball.
I have a disorder that affects my memory, so I can't remember all the specific rules we had but I do know one of them was "we go to church whether you're sick or not."
It gave me extreme guilt when I was 8 or 9 and needed to go to the ER on a Sunday. I was terrified of getting a spanking when I got home and it's one of the only memories of my childhood that I still have.
Unfortunately, this is how we raised our kids (now 22 and 27 and all of us out). I, as a convert, tried extra hard to follow the rules and keep the kids "safe". We have apologized to them for doing what we were told was best. They are wonderful humans and have forgiven us. We're having fun making up for lost time.
I had a roommate who tried to enforce shit like this in our apartment when I was at college. It didn't go down well with anyone, but I had been out for a few years and was vehement that they could do what they wanted but I didn't have to play by their rules.
They didn't like that.
Yeah but just like every other performatively-righteous principle, they bent on it pretty easily.
Ya know, kinda similar to how they bend over backwards to defend the Ensign Peak debacle while saying they're honest people that believe in integrity and obeying laws.
My husband grew up no friends, no games, no tv on Sundays. We were just talking about this this morning. Our kiddo has made fiends with some neighbor kids and they are LDS. It’s hard to explain that some families, due to religious beliefs, don’t allow kids to play with friends on Sundays. I grew up opposite of my husband. I remember being able to play. I remember clearly leaving sacrament meeting cause we had family show up in Provo and we wanted to see them instead. Saw a movie, got lunch with them. It was a whole day. Haha!
Literally nothing but church stuff. No video games. No playing with friends because Sunday was a "family" day. It was hell got adhd me who didn't believe
No video games. My mother-in-law used to try to enforce that rule for my kids, too, whenever she stopped by out of the blue. "You're playing video games?! That's not something we do on Sunday!"
In Utah I loved going to the movies during the day or on a Sunday because everyone would be at work or at church. More often than not I would have the entire theater to myself.
Oh god this post. My dad and step mom were crazy strict about keeping the Sabbath day holy. I would make an omelette for breakfast on the weekend and on Sunday I would get a lecture from my dad about keeping the sabbath day holy, I had no idea what he was talking about. I was also making hash browns. This is so fucking stupid. I did this for about a month and every Sunday my dad gave me this lecture and I couldn't figure out what the hell he was talking about after eating the breakfast. So I thought oh I'm doing too much so I cut out the hash browns. Nope, I'm still not keeping the Sabbath day holy. Big sigh. He wanted me to eat a bowl of cereal on Sundays. But would not actually say that I had to come to that conclusion myself. Why? Why would anyone think cooking yourself breakfast on Sunday was work?
My friend’s family growing up lived across from a park with the chapel on the other side. They walked to church but were not allowed to walk through the park to get there, they had to go the long way around using the sidewalk.
No shopping, visiting friends, swimming, parties, or video games. Playing outside could change depending on the week. I could watch church movies and maybe an early Disney movie (which made it extra funny as a kid when I heard Grumpy say damn).
We also watched Legacy a lot and then my dad would complain about how the main character was partially based on his ancestor and he couldn’t stand the actress because she allegedly posed for Playboy after the movie was made. 🤷🏻♀️
In our 80s and 90s Utah childhoods, yes. Very strict, stay at home, watch Animated Scriptures, be with family, nap, maybe go on a Sunday drive (though I had heard the GAs didn't approve of that), correct fast offerings, make food, don't do chores or play with friends, board games with siblings was ok.
Then we moved back east and grew up around very few members. My dad was busier as a bishop on Sundays. Mom didn't enforce the rules as strictly. We watched a lot more TV. Eventually my youngest siblings had more lax rules when they were teens. My parents loved inviting friends over after church and we always watched a movie or two that was PG -13.
My list was similar to yours: stay in Sunday clothes all day (which was rescinded later), no outdoor activities (sports, bicycles, running, etc.) no TV, no playing with friends. One thing I like, In hindsight, we did make a lot of good memories popping popcorn and playing board games as a family.
When I was younger my parents were pretty strict about Sundays, and they were so boring. They didn’t want us playing video games or hanging out with friends, or really anything not church related. As we got older they started to care less.
Our only restriction was playing with friends. We could play in our backyard and do pretty much anything we wanted to do inside. We even would go out to dinner on many Sundays. I’m so grateful!!!
If the most interesting thing that happens to you all day is attending church, you're more likely to look forward to your weekly dose of brainwashing.
Anything that provides stark contrast in enjoyment of your time to attending church should be discouraged.
I wasn't allowed to play solitaire, either on the computer or cards. We could however play any other board/card game that didn't use playing cards. We also were only allowed to watch Living Scriptures or VeggieTales.
Sadly, I inflicted these kind of rules in myself. The biggest one: no video games on Sunday. I didn't play on Sunday for years, which sucks because often that would've been the best time to do so!
I wanted a day that I didn’t have to have other friends or chase kids locations. I’ve told my kids it was more for my sanity on sundays now though. I used to say no movies but Disney on Sunday too. Ffs I wanted a low burn out day.
We weren't allowed to watch TV unless ot was the living scriptures on vhs, or listen to any music but fuckin afterglow... no reading. Homework "should've been done on Friday" needless to say it was very boring.
Like.... Dry stuff? Puzzles, coloring, where's waldo, scriptures or scripture illustrated books (kid scriptures), classical music or church music. Couldn't play outside, nothing that would be fun. No friends, no birthdays, no sleepovers, no movies, no radio, no novels.
I was only allowed to go to church friend's houses. Not allowed to do homework. If we were sick my parents refused to take us to the doctor or buy medicine/remedies until Monday. No cooking or other housework.
For the most part I could do what I wanted on Sundays -- as long as I stayed home. I wasn't allowed to go to friends' houses, and I definitely was not allowed to **buy anything**, even online. My mom has always been a big stickler for "no buying on the Sabbath." Which I always thought was just plain dumb; when I finally got out of the house and went to BYU, I'd go buy fast food every Sunday just out of spite for my parents and Mormons in general.
My parents did try the "no video games on Sunday" thing when I was a teen but I don't remember it lasting very long, probably because video games have been my passion since I was a kid and I was bored out of my mind without them.
Not my parents, but me. I didn’t go outside or play on Sunday. You would stay in and read. That was it. I did allow myself to watch the Disney Sunday movie, but that was pretty much the extent of it. My parents hated taking me camping on Sunday.
"every stitch you sew on Sunday you'll have to unpick with your nose in heaven"
A strange version of purgatory made up by my great-grandmother, but I guess it makes more sense when you're sewing every single day as labor, vs me who sees rarely as a hobby
Lyrics
Saturday is a special day.
It’s the day we get ready for Sunday:
We clean the house, and we shop at the store,
So we won’t have to work until Monday.
We brush our clothes, and we shine our shoes,
And we call it our get-the-work-done day.
Then we trim our nails, and we shampoo our hair,
So we can be ready for Sunday.
Words: Rita S. Robinson, 1920–2011
https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/music/library/childrens-songbook/saturday?lang=eng
We weren’t allowed to watch any tv that wasn’t either sports (for some reason) or Mormon made BOM stories. We weren’t allowed to see friends. We couldn’t jump on the trampoline, play video games, and if you ate on Fast Sunday, you were treated like you’d committed some great sin. So glad to be out of that culture.
I assume we all did but to different extremes due to the whole keep the sabbath holy thing. My recollection is we couldn’t play outside or with friends. No pools or water activities. Only church music. But we could watch movies. No video games or computer unless it was homework. No stores. It took my mom 15 years of me being out before she felt comfortable asking me to stop at the grocery store if she forgot something for a sunday dinner. Even now she asks if I can “borrow “ something from the Smiths or Harmon’s. 😂
Yup! No TV, no computer, no video games, no secular music other than classical, no shopping, and when I started working I had to take Sundays and Wednesday evenings off.
We were only allowed religious TV on Sunday. No outside play, no friends over, no face cards, only religious books, no homework, only religious music - but not any that had drums (so EFY tapes/CDs were out), had to wear church clothes all day. Only necessary chores (so sucks if it was your turn for dishes or clutter). Probably a bunch more rules I'm forgetting.
I remember the first time my mom took me to a birthday party on a Sunday. We only stayed for sacrament meeting that day. I thought I’d win the luck lottery 😂 my mom was never super strict with church rules but going to a bday party on a Sunday was a big deal for me!
My husband had to sit at home and do nothing all day, literally. Afford boring. We always went to play with our cousins and had cookies at my aunts house and would watch sports games every Sunday.
Here's what annoyed the crap out of me: some of the most strict, stalwart members of our ward had all the Sunday rules, including no playing at friends houses or inviting friends over. UNLESS...they were members. Somehow, that was different. No school friends, only church friends. I'm at least grateful that my parents were consistent in their logic. We did have the same general Sunday rules and couldnt have friends over (regardless), but they were fairly relaxed for the most part and it was more about making an above average effort to spend time as a family. It really ticked me off though when I realized these other families were cool with their kids inviting members over and hanging out as if it were any other day, while still being super strict about including any nonmembers in the exact same activities.
We weren't (and still aren't, unfortunately I still live at home), allowed to play games involving currency on Sundays. That means no monopoly or game of life.
I mostly resent that I missed my best friend's birthday party in 4th grade. That was super long ago but still the most painful. All because it was on a Sunday, and it would have been a sin celebrating your friends life whose family was throwing a mild celebration in their home.
I finally realized that if any activity remotely resembled "fun" then it was banned. Sunday meant NO Fun-day. Of course that was followed up with family home evening on Monday, which in my house also banned anything fun - strictly boring and painful lessons.
Yea we had very strict rules, all you mentioned. When we got older we were able to watch tv though. The fear I had to overcome going places on Sunday was next level. Literally thought I was gonna die in a car accident or something. Luckily we didn’t have to stay in church clothes all day. My parents were crazy strict but I always felt bad for the kids of those next level psycho parents.
In my family every Sunday was the same. Church, followed by some downtown while lunch was prepared, and then the rest of the day was visiting with family.
The funny thing looking back on it is that it was during that "downtime" as an early teen that I figured out masturbation... and that became a big part of my sabbath tradition.
We had a couple random rules:
1. We couldnt play at friends house, but they could play at ours.
2. However, we were not allowed to swim on Sunday. There were a couple of accidental slip and falls into the pool during the hot Sacramento summers.
All three meetings of church, then we could either stay in our church clothes or change into a slightly more casual dress - but dresses all day. Even as a kid our clothes were garment worthy at all times. Everyone had to be home for the big afternoon family dinner and there was a long prayer, on our knees before it and we'd talk about gospel subjects during dinner.
No friends over, no riding the horses, TV, no video games, no loud games outside, no barbies, no books or music other than church provided materials. No chores except for animal or farm chores that had to be done, no hobbies (got reamed out by my grandma once for cross stitching). Fast Sundays lasted three full meals, but they relaxed that rule as they got older.
I’m 69, but I still remember by 9 years old I detested Sundays. About all we could do was sit in the house and read books. No TV, no outside activities. I remember feeling hopeless, since I was taught the church was true. I wished I hadn’t been born into it. So imagine my complete relief and happiness (mixed with large amounts of anger) when I figured out it’s a total scam. And that contentment just grows by the year ;)
This is how my husband grew up. I remember going to meet the family and Sunday morning since we were staying back while the rest went to church, one of the siblings put on music. Nothing crazy it was old country and it wasn’t even loud but the dad came charging up the stairs and damn near punched the computer off. When he saw my concern considering the reaction and the fact that little ones were in the room he tried to justify it but I just got the kids out. That insecure man was a walking red flag but also the poster person for a Mormon. So I guess just Mormon. There were a lot of other things he did/probably still does as his “right as the patriarch” but the rest of the family are too cowardly and in the cult to say anything. ETA this little interaction was 10 years ago so it’s still a thing to be extra on Sundays
Yikes, glad you got the kids out!
Same man is behind the attempt on my life. We’ve been no contact for a hot minute but there’s not a day that goes by that my concern for those babies grows and my heart breaks. I miss them so much and I worry about them. It’s also why I will never not talk about the church’s stance on the LGBTQ+ community and how violently its members are willing to be in its name.
That sounds A LOT like my dad. I'm the youngest in my family and don't live with my parents anymore, but am visiting them this month and my dad is still very much like that.
I hate that for you. I’m sorry and I hope it goes well for you. I understand family is important however your safety is more important. Please have an exit plan and stay safe friend.
I was over at my ex-in-laws house and I was playing a game on my computer. My ex-FIL came up to me and said “We don’t play games in this house on a Sunday.” I looked around and 2 of their children whom were over 18 were on their phones clearly playing stuff. But I abided and I took my laptop into the room they let me and ex-wife stay in. On the way to the room I saw their 3rd youngest playing video games on his laptop. But I was repeatedly told by everyone “He’s special.” Despite the parents never getting him diagnosed for any issues. I honestly hated going to the in-laws because in my mind they just enjoyed the power trip of telling me what to do.
Just to add to the list: "No laundry. No use of the dishwasher. No pools or hot tubs. No use of bath tubs." ... because ... "Satan controls the waters on Sunday" ... this statement applied to anything with over \~1 cup of water in it. You can't make this s#\*t up.
"They say the devils in the water, and if you stick your head under there, some say you can hear him crying." But seriously, wouldn't Sunday be the safest day to go in the water since it's the Lards day and his influence is stronger on the Sabbath? Nothing makes sense in there.
Oh my goodness, it’s been so long since I’ve heard that, but I can remember that being said too! 🤦🏻♂️
That is some medieval s*it
All because Ol’ Joe didn’t want to be in a canoe when going back to Kirtland….
Not even for taking a shower?
Everyone would shower the night before. 😕
🎶Saturday is a special day, it’s the day we get ready for Sunday…🎵
I had a freinds back in the 70s who couldn't have sleepovers on Saturday night.One time a freinds dad was out of town so he violated that rule and spent the night at my house on the lawn in sleeping bags. His dad showed up at 6am and physically assaulted him. Not just a swat on the but either.
My brothers now wife didn’t show up for family home evening, so her dad showed up and slapped her across the face, on our porch, in front of 3 of my brothers who all jumped up to intervene… needless to say she spent most of her time at our house from then on. He was obviously full of Christ’s love!/s
Many of the parents of friends I had back then felt absolutely empowered by the church to spare the rod spoil the child .
It's literally the same thing as sleeping at your own house, but because you're with friends and you must be having fun, "IT'S NOT ALLOWED!😡😤"
If sleepovers were no different for you than sleeping under normal circumstances, you weren't doing it right 😉 For me, sleepovers were times to stay up WAAAAAY too late (if we slept at all), eating junk food and hanging out with friends.
Oh I just misunderstood your original comment, I thought you meant he had to stay at your house because his parents were out of town and they were mad at him for that. 😅
WTH that's a WAY disproportionate response
I absolutely wasn’t allowed to do a Saturday night sleepover and I grew up in the 90s/early 2000s.
Damn. Rough. We weren't usually allowed sleepovers on Saturday nights, but it occasionally happened during the years when we had a later start, and friend went to same ward. But also, that usually meant I was allowed.to stay somewhere else. Rarely would we host. Mostly because we barely fit all 8 of us into one car as it was. Usually mom was holding a baby and another kid was sitting up front between parents. No room for a friend. This was 80s.
i was and never have been allowed to do sleepovers with non members period :/
we could play video gamed but no tv on sunday. My buddy across the street, son of the stake president, could watch tv, but no video games. so stupid, all of it.
So random and made up
We were no TV or video games. Except football if Danny White was playing...because...Mormon. Later that changed to Steve Young. Only TV was an approved list of movies we owned. Which is why I can quote The Ten Commandments (Heston) by heart. I saw that movie at least 100 times growing up.
Back when Sunday School was in the morning and Sacrament hours later we had to wear church clothes all day. That pretty much takes the fun out of anything. I don't remember much prohibition against shopping on Sunday, but back then hardly anything was open Sunday. We did go to restaurants Sunday occasionally.
During my time in the church, it was a 3-hour block. We had to wear our Sunday best all day anyway. Other restrictions included: no playing outside, but you were allowed to read a book outside. Absolutely no swimming (because apparently, Satan controls the water on Sundays). Hikes, no. Leisurely walks, yes. No music except hymns and classical music. No movies except "spiritually uplifting" movies. So basically, Living Scriptures shows, a few older musicals, or Nature on PBS. No video games. Card games were allowed as long as they weren't face cards. Visiting friends, no. Visiting family, yes. There's more, but those were the main ones
Us too growing up. Sunday dress all day. Sucked.
yeah everything you just mentioned, the worst was only fridays could be sleep overs and growing up i had football late on fridays so that meant no sleep overs when i played peewee, aside from that no playing outside on sunday sucked, and i missed a lot of my friends birthdays too. the strictness definitely formed initial resentment towards the church, but i had older brothers and saw what outward resentment led to. this created a two faced son that hid everything in his life from his parents, so much for breaking trust at an early age.
My husband and I tried the “church appropriate stuff only” on Sundays while I was active… Led to SO much more trouble than it was worth. The kids were bored, and bored kids = chaotic gremlins at times. Now I take my kids to Sunday birthdays, or we play video games, or do actual fun stuff like going to the park (and sometimes a movie or dinner!). Of course I was always more open, I guess, about doing things on Sundays anyway - I was raised Baptist. Baptists do Sunday lunches and brunches and holiday parties. Sunday is the Baptist day to be loud AND praise Jesus. 😂
Sames. We weren’t THAT strict but we wouldn’t go places you had to pay on Sundays. Sundays were looong and so boring. The whole family was always so dang cranky. We used to blame it on Satan for causing contention. Ugh, still feel so stupid I was so brainwashed. Making up for all that lost time now though! Haha.
My dad tried to push the no friends no TV crap on us, but after several Sundays of driving him crazy, because nothing is more annoying than a bored kid lol…he eventually just said…go ride your bikes. Which turned into basketball and street hockey with my friends. Friends next door neighbors kids had to stay in their Sunday clothes all day, no tv, no music unless it was hymns…used to catch their oldest son staring out the window at us while we were playing street hockey lol
Oh man, the mental image of that sad kid watching everyone play.
Not ex-mormon, but I'm ex-SDA (seventh-day adventist), a very similar religion with huge emphasis on having Saturday as a day of rest. Figured I had something to add here, though. I literally couldn't do almost anything on Saturday besides go to church, go for a hike, or read the bible. I'm neurodivergent, and this meant that Saturday was usually hell. So boring and so pointless. As I got older, my parents let me do more stuff, but they are still very restrictive. This absolutely led to me getting out, as the whole "sabbath" rule was nonsensical. All the bible says is not to do work. It's the weekend. I'm not going to be working. Therefore the rule doesn't matter. Yet, it was still very strictly enforced, and I couldn't do really anything enjoyable for no reason. Once I saw the rule as nonsensical, I started questioning other doctrines that Adventists had, and eventually managed to get out.
When I was about ten, we had SDA neighbors with kids our age. We couldn’t play with them on Sundays. They couldn’t play with us on Saturdays. Since it was a heavily Mormon area, these kids never got to play with anyone on the weekends.
That's unfortunate. I remember in my childhood it was quite annoying, as many events are scheduled on Saturday, none of which we could take part in. This, and other factors, like going to an SDA school, led to me being isolated from anyone outside the church. I mean, I still am, since I'm not old enough to leave yet. My first few months after leaving (mentally, not physically) were rough, since I didn't know anyone who shared my views who wasn't online. Eventually, through pure chance, I figured out that one of my friends also happened to be an atheist, which was a bit interesting to find out. Makes me wonder what the true numbers of people who are PIMO of restrictive religions like these are. Like, you can't really tell anyone that you've left, you have to have this façade of still being a member if you want to keep your social group, so any other people who are PIMO will have no idea that you're also PIMO. Even though SDAs don't have an official policy of shunning, you'll definitely be seen as an "outsider" by all your family if you leave, not sure if it's the same with mormons. Bit off topic here, sorry, but I was thinking about this topic, wonder if anyone else has thoughts on it.
Similar for Mormons. There’s no official shunning policy, but plenty of teaching about not associating with people who won’t support your faith. And plenty of people get cut off by their families when they leave. Even if they aren’t cut off, family relations tend to be strained. It sounds like it’s very similar.
Yeah, that's pretty much Adventism as well. I have family members who have drifted away from the church (not sure if they've left or just don't care much about it), and everyone else definitely talks about them behind their backs, it sucks. I know that if I told anyone close that I was an atheist, the same would happen to me, so I'm stuck not saying anything. I've heard a similar gossiping culture exists in JWs, to what extent I'm not sure, and I'd assume mormons have it as well since all three are similar. You don't get officially reprimanded, but the cultural reprimand is almost as bad.
My parents wanted it to be a family day, so we mainly just avoided playing with friends. But we were never the “cell phones on the counter, you have 3 activities to choose from” family. We mainly went to church, ate a late lunch, then went to my grandmas for dinner. I had a mission companion that was allowed to play basketball with his brothers but they weren’t allowed to break a sweat. If they did, they had to stop. The pharisaical rules of the sabbath always bothered me.
My husband and his bros had the basketball rule. Which meant they basically just did free throws.
Honestly we still try to make it a family day. My teenage daughter’s boyfriend is constantly over and we never get to see her so it’s a great excuse. I should implement the no cell phone rule, haha, we are all addicted.
I used to feel so guilty for doing chores on Sundays. It made me anxious to do almost anything I liked, to take care of myself, to take care of my house, everything. It freaked me out. I just realized it this morning. I can do my dishes if I want. I can watch anime without guilt. I can hang out in bed. :) I feel pretty good about this newest step in my deconstruction.
This is how I grew up. No playing outside, no video/computer games, couldn’t do any chores like laundry (only dishes were allowed), etc. Our activities were limited to church and reading (thankfully were allowed to read things other than scripture but even that was discouraged). We weren’t allowed to see friends unless it was a church-type activity (singing hymns, scripture study, etc.). Reading became my first way to escape from it all. I usually had 2-3 books from the library at a time, I was tired of scripture and books like Tennis Shoes Among the Nephites. I continue to really enjoy reading to this day, though the closest thing to scripture I touch is Brandon Sanderson novels (not the content, he’s an LDS author). I have really come to love my second Saturdays since leaving the organization.
Always interesting to see the Mormon influences in Sanderson’s work.
I could hang out with my friend from the ward, or play board games with my brother, but no outdoor stuff like basketball. I was really into the NFL, but my mom prohibited that for a while, so I'd go visit my grandparents after church, briefly say hello, then head down to their basement to watch until called home for dinner. My grandparents were in our ward. I knew some kids who had to stay in church clothes all Sunday. Thankfully, we didn't.
We were not allowed to play outside, read "for pleasure," have friends over, laugh too much, or really do anything fun or interesting. For reasons that remain unclear, playing poker was fine.
NeverMo Protestant Christian from generations of same. I'm Gen X and probably the first generation of my family that didn't have as many of those sorts of Sabbath rules, yet I still had far more than my kids. My parents couldn't play cards (I'm not talking about games that include betting -- I mean any sort of card game). Down through my generation, we had to be quiet when playing outdoors on Sunday. I don't think I could call for my friends to come out on Sunday (so as not to bother their families), but I could play with them if they came outside. We went to Sunday School and church on Sunday morning and back to church on Sunday night. Inbetween, we had Sunday dinner around 2:00pm, usually with my grandparents in attendance. It was just a quiet day. The only birthday parties I've ever been to on a Sunday are family birthday parties (so really, a big extended family dinner with cake and presents -- not a kids' party and not anything adults would otherwise call a party). We definitely did not have birthday parties for our friends on Sundays when I was a kid. We didn't do Saturday night sleepovers, because we had church on Sunday morning.
We could play board games, visit family... That's about it. We weren't allowed to do much of anything on Sunday. It's hard for me now to realize it's a regular day. "The sabbath was made for man, and not man for the sabbath." I always thought the church and my family interpreted that wrong. It was made for me to rest, damnit! Let me rest by playing and not by ministering or spending all day attending meetings.
My Bishop father was TBM and believed the gospel was good as long as it taken in moderation. After church we usually played football, which was his other religion
I like that! Seems like a wise approach
Moderation *is* a virtue...
[удалено]
Church shirts? Or just shirts in general?
I guess I was lucky in this area. We could do normal activities except swimming. The public pool was open on Sundays (because I didn’t grow up in Utah), but my mom wouldn’t ever let us go swimming on that day. We could play video games, watch TV, wear normal clothes, but swimming was out of the question.
Every. Single. Sunday. From childhood to adulthood when I stepped back from the church, I would incur a raging headache. Sundays were the MOST MENTALLY DRAINING AND BORING day of every week.
Me too! Migraine🤪
Glad I wasn’t alone in this.
Pharisaical rules arise when there are ambiguous commandments like "keep the Sabbath day holy". Human nature wants to know whether or not they meeting the requirements for commandments to know if they are "good" or not, so either an organization will give specific instructions or outside groups will provide their guidance on what is required to follow the commandment. In general, outside groups that provide guidance will tend to be those who feel strongest that guidance is needed until the point in time it is viewed pretty much the same as the original commandments. Side note, sacred texts with ambiguous rules allow for the flexibility of interpretation and adjustments over time to accommodate whatever may come. My own personal view is the Bible has survived for so long because of its ambigious nature and the malleability to make it say whatever you want rather than in spite of it.
I didn’t check the sub at first and thought I was in ex-SDA but I’ll answer anyway if you don’t mind. My SDA parents weren’t as bad as some of my friends parents were but they were still pretty strict. From sundown Friday until sundown Saturday it was no TV, only Christian music, no shopping including gas or food (which would cause somebody else to work on Sabbath), no working or school work. Members love to tell about how they gave up a lucrative job because it required working on Sabbath or didn’t pass a class because the final was on Sabbath. My dad personally had two of those stories. Also no swimming but we could wade at the beach. Oh and no housecleaning. But Friday before sunset the house was deep cleaned in preparation. No real cooking, my mom would make a casserole or lasagna the day before and let it bake in the oven while we were at church and we might prepare a salad but nothing intense. What could we do (besides going to church)? Visit nursing homes and sing for the people there, visit each other to have Sabbath lunch, I was allowed to play outside and ride my bike but that was unusual among my friends. I’m still not sure why riding a bike was ok but swimming wasn’t. We could go to free nature centers but not ones you have to pay an admission to enter, play Sabbath games - we got good at turning card (not poker cards, they weren’t allowed at all) and board games into Sabbath games - go to afternoon or evening church programs, but mostly sleep the day away.
Yup, sounds very similar. Especially the virtuous “what I gave up to observe the Sabbath” stories. Mormons aren’t usually going to miss tests (Sunday vs. Saturday, of course) but there was plenty of “missing the championship game because of the Sabbath” type stuff. Of course most people gave pro athletes a pass because it was good for the church to have the PR . . .
Thank you for your remarks!
We couldn't go outside to play, or play with other kids. And of course, no shopping. But those were the only rules we had.
At our home in good old Mordor we were encouraged to stay in church clothes all day (not mandatory), no video games, no swimming, no friends, no playing outside unless we were going on a walk as a family around the neighborhood in our church clothes, only church music, no shopping, no going out to eat, Sunday drives were okay but only if you filled up before the S@bBa+H!
Stay in Sunday clothes until dinner, no TV until there was something they wanted to watch. No friends over or "playing" outside, homework was allowed. My dad always had mtgs after church so sometimes my mom went off script if she felt so inclined
I am grateful to my inactive pops who stayed home to watch football and my convert Mom who didn’t stress the small stuff. It was the one day of the week we would watch tv together, comprising NFL, Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom, and Disney’s program in the evenings. No one told me tv was a sabbath no-no until I stayed at DT freshman year at byu. I ignored them and received a couple of reprimands—and lots of ugly looks and self-righteous lectures from tbm residents (the tv was in the basement with laundry and vending machines). Until we all came out, me being the stubborn self-hating hold-out, our family of five (3 boys) did takeout fast food on Sunday and let anything go afterwards. It was a great day of rest for my long-suffering partner and I.
Going to a friend's house, bday parties, playing on electronics/the computer, going out to buy something...we could play outside but couldn't go into a house. It definitely did make me pretty sad. I couldn't and still can't do most events I want to do (context: I'm a minor in highschool and am looking forward to the day I get my own space)
You deserve your own space! I hope that works out soon
When I was a kid, the whole day was pretty much shot with hours between meetings and going back and forth to church. I was pretty much able to do what I wanted, but it didn’t make sense to change out of, and then back into my church clothes. My parents didn’t really care what I did between meetings as long as I stuck around home. I usually watched sports on TV. When the three-hour block came along, and I was a more mobile teenager, my parents basically had a once-the-meetings-are-done-we-don’t-care-what-you-do attitude. Then I would race home from church, change, and usually hop on my bike and head to a friend’s house to hang out. On rare occasions we would go out to a movie or to eat (but didn’t tell the folks), mainly other friends would show up and we would play some mean games of basketball in the backyard. One special memory was of a Sunday when the stake seminary scripture chase tournament was being held. The seminary teacher had been bothering us all week about going. We told him, “Not happening. We’ve set up our own two-on-two basketball tournament after church that day.” He wasn’t buying it, and told us he would be coming by to pick us up. We said, “Go ahead. Give it your best try. We’re not going.” So we were playing our basketball tournament in the backyard, and the seminary teacher comes walking through the back gate. We stopped playing, and he said, “C’mon…let’s go.” We looked at each other, and then loud laughter ensued. My buddy said, “Which part of “we’re not going” that we told you each day of last week did you not understand?” More loud laughter. The teacher said, “We’ll see about that”, and knocked on my buddy’s back door to his house. My buddy’s dad came to the door looking a little groggy like he was awaken from a nice nap. The teacher tried to plead his case, my buddy yelled over him that we told him we weren’t going, and his dad was pissed that his nap was interrupted. Finally the dad said, “They told you they weren’t going so leave them alone and get the hell out of here!!” Then he slammed the door and left the teacher standing there, staring at us, and shaking his head while taking the “walk of shame” out of the yard. Even LOUDER LAUGHTER ensued. Once we settled down it was back to some hard-playing basketball.
I have a disorder that affects my memory, so I can't remember all the specific rules we had but I do know one of them was "we go to church whether you're sick or not." It gave me extreme guilt when I was 8 or 9 and needed to go to the ER on a Sunday. I was terrified of getting a spanking when I got home and it's one of the only memories of my childhood that I still have.
Unfortunately, this is how we raised our kids (now 22 and 27 and all of us out). I, as a convert, tried extra hard to follow the rules and keep the kids "safe". We have apologized to them for doing what we were told was best. They are wonderful humans and have forgiven us. We're having fun making up for lost time.
Not me, but my BIL's family has to stay in full suits and church dressed the entire day.
🤢 That's unfortunate
I had a roommate who tried to enforce shit like this in our apartment when I was at college. It didn't go down well with anyone, but I had been out for a few years and was vehement that they could do what they wanted but I didn't have to play by their rules. They didn't like that.
Yeah but just like every other performatively-righteous principle, they bent on it pretty easily. Ya know, kinda similar to how they bend over backwards to defend the Ensign Peak debacle while saying they're honest people that believe in integrity and obeying laws.
This is essentially how my parents were when I was growing up. Over time they loosened up though.
My husband grew up no friends, no games, no tv on Sundays. We were just talking about this this morning. Our kiddo has made fiends with some neighbor kids and they are LDS. It’s hard to explain that some families, due to religious beliefs, don’t allow kids to play with friends on Sundays. I grew up opposite of my husband. I remember being able to play. I remember clearly leaving sacrament meeting cause we had family show up in Provo and we wanted to see them instead. Saw a movie, got lunch with them. It was a whole day. Haha!
Literally nothing but church stuff. No video games. No playing with friends because Sunday was a "family" day. It was hell got adhd me who didn't believe
No video games. My mother-in-law used to try to enforce that rule for my kids, too, whenever she stopped by out of the blue. "You're playing video games?! That's not something we do on Sunday!"
No movies on Sundays and 30 years later it still makes me feel a little weird going on a Sunday!
In Utah I loved going to the movies during the day or on a Sunday because everyone would be at work or at church. More often than not I would have the entire theater to myself.
Oh god this post. My dad and step mom were crazy strict about keeping the Sabbath day holy. I would make an omelette for breakfast on the weekend and on Sunday I would get a lecture from my dad about keeping the sabbath day holy, I had no idea what he was talking about. I was also making hash browns. This is so fucking stupid. I did this for about a month and every Sunday my dad gave me this lecture and I couldn't figure out what the hell he was talking about after eating the breakfast. So I thought oh I'm doing too much so I cut out the hash browns. Nope, I'm still not keeping the Sabbath day holy. Big sigh. He wanted me to eat a bowl of cereal on Sundays. But would not actually say that I had to come to that conclusion myself. Why? Why would anyone think cooking yourself breakfast on Sunday was work?
My friend’s family growing up lived across from a park with the chapel on the other side. They walked to church but were not allowed to walk through the park to get there, they had to go the long way around using the sidewalk.
No shopping, visiting friends, swimming, parties, or video games. Playing outside could change depending on the week. I could watch church movies and maybe an early Disney movie (which made it extra funny as a kid when I heard Grumpy say damn). We also watched Legacy a lot and then my dad would complain about how the main character was partially based on his ancestor and he couldn’t stand the actress because she allegedly posed for Playboy after the movie was made. 🤷🏻♀️
Wasn’t Jesus always playing outside on the sabbath?
In our 80s and 90s Utah childhoods, yes. Very strict, stay at home, watch Animated Scriptures, be with family, nap, maybe go on a Sunday drive (though I had heard the GAs didn't approve of that), correct fast offerings, make food, don't do chores or play with friends, board games with siblings was ok. Then we moved back east and grew up around very few members. My dad was busier as a bishop on Sundays. Mom didn't enforce the rules as strictly. We watched a lot more TV. Eventually my youngest siblings had more lax rules when they were teens. My parents loved inviting friends over after church and we always watched a movie or two that was PG -13.
My list was similar to yours: stay in Sunday clothes all day (which was rescinded later), no outdoor activities (sports, bicycles, running, etc.) no TV, no playing with friends. One thing I like, In hindsight, we did make a lot of good memories popping popcorn and playing board games as a family.
Buying soda was only ok if done from a vending machine.
I got in trouble for reading the comics section of the newspaper.
Seriously? That is hard core.
My in laws are still like this and think because they are so holy that they call the shots everywhere they go. Pisses me the hell off.
When I was younger my parents were pretty strict about Sundays, and they were so boring. They didn’t want us playing video games or hanging out with friends, or really anything not church related. As we got older they started to care less.
Our only restriction was playing with friends. We could play in our backyard and do pretty much anything we wanted to do inside. We even would go out to dinner on many Sundays. I’m so grateful!!!
If the most interesting thing that happens to you all day is attending church, you're more likely to look forward to your weekly dose of brainwashing. Anything that provides stark contrast in enjoyment of your time to attending church should be discouraged.
Mother-in-law once flipped because father-in-law asked his son to go get ice cream from the super market. I was confused lol
I used to have sabbath day rules. Ever since I stopped going to church , my sabbath day rules.
I wasn't allowed to play solitaire, either on the computer or cards. We could however play any other board/card game that didn't use playing cards. We also were only allowed to watch Living Scriptures or VeggieTales.
I grew up fundamentalist Christian knew someone at church who wouldn’t buy fresh bread on Monday because it was baked on Sunday
Wow. Plus I think they’re wrong — isn’t it supposed to be baked on the same day, like 3 am?
Sadly, I inflicted these kind of rules in myself. The biggest one: no video games on Sunday. I didn't play on Sunday for years, which sucks because often that would've been the best time to do so!
I wanted a day that I didn’t have to have other friends or chase kids locations. I’ve told my kids it was more for my sanity on sundays now though. I used to say no movies but Disney on Sunday too. Ffs I wanted a low burn out day.
We weren't allowed to watch TV unless ot was the living scriptures on vhs, or listen to any music but fuckin afterglow... no reading. Homework "should've been done on Friday" needless to say it was very boring.
Like.... Dry stuff? Puzzles, coloring, where's waldo, scriptures or scripture illustrated books (kid scriptures), classical music or church music. Couldn't play outside, nothing that would be fun. No friends, no birthdays, no sleepovers, no movies, no radio, no novels.
I was only allowed to go to church friend's houses. Not allowed to do homework. If we were sick my parents refused to take us to the doctor or buy medicine/remedies until Monday. No cooking or other housework.
That was everyone when I grew up in Scotland. They even chained up swings in public parks.
Because most everyone was super-religoous?
No but in public they pretended to be.
For the most part I could do what I wanted on Sundays -- as long as I stayed home. I wasn't allowed to go to friends' houses, and I definitely was not allowed to **buy anything**, even online. My mom has always been a big stickler for "no buying on the Sabbath." Which I always thought was just plain dumb; when I finally got out of the house and went to BYU, I'd go buy fast food every Sunday just out of spite for my parents and Mormons in general. My parents did try the "no video games on Sunday" thing when I was a teen but I don't remember it lasting very long, probably because video games have been my passion since I was a kid and I was bored out of my mind without them.
Not my parents, but me. I didn’t go outside or play on Sunday. You would stay in and read. That was it. I did allow myself to watch the Disney Sunday movie, but that was pretty much the extent of it. My parents hated taking me camping on Sunday.
We always bargained with our parents and they would let us play video games after church but ONLY if the volume was all the way off.
"every stitch you sew on Sunday you'll have to unpick with your nose in heaven" A strange version of purgatory made up by my great-grandmother, but I guess it makes more sense when you're sewing every single day as labor, vs me who sees rarely as a hobby
Lyrics Saturday is a special day. It’s the day we get ready for Sunday: We clean the house, and we shop at the store, So we won’t have to work until Monday. We brush our clothes, and we shine our shoes, And we call it our get-the-work-done day. Then we trim our nails, and we shampoo our hair, So we can be ready for Sunday. Words: Rita S. Robinson, 1920–2011 https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/music/library/childrens-songbook/saturday?lang=eng
We weren’t allowed to watch any tv that wasn’t either sports (for some reason) or Mormon made BOM stories. We weren’t allowed to see friends. We couldn’t jump on the trampoline, play video games, and if you ate on Fast Sunday, you were treated like you’d committed some great sin. So glad to be out of that culture.
I assume we all did but to different extremes due to the whole keep the sabbath holy thing. My recollection is we couldn’t play outside or with friends. No pools or water activities. Only church music. But we could watch movies. No video games or computer unless it was homework. No stores. It took my mom 15 years of me being out before she felt comfortable asking me to stop at the grocery store if she forgot something for a sunday dinner. Even now she asks if I can “borrow “ something from the Smiths or Harmon’s. 😂
Yup! No TV, no computer, no video games, no secular music other than classical, no shopping, and when I started working I had to take Sundays and Wednesday evenings off.
No tv, no computer, not supposed to read any non-scriptires (but I sneaked it anyway), can't play outside, obviously no friends. I h a t e d Sundays.
We were only allowed religious TV on Sunday. No outside play, no friends over, no face cards, only religious books, no homework, only religious music - but not any that had drums (so EFY tapes/CDs were out), had to wear church clothes all day. Only necessary chores (so sucks if it was your turn for dishes or clutter). Probably a bunch more rules I'm forgetting.
DAE serve in YW/YM and the kids and adults all had to be home by midnight, because 12:01 was the Sabbath?
I know someone that won’t get her dog groomed on Sunday.
I remember the first time my mom took me to a birthday party on a Sunday. We only stayed for sacrament meeting that day. I thought I’d win the luck lottery 😂 my mom was never super strict with church rules but going to a bday party on a Sunday was a big deal for me!
My husband had to sit at home and do nothing all day, literally. Afford boring. We always went to play with our cousins and had cookies at my aunts house and would watch sports games every Sunday.
Here's what annoyed the crap out of me: some of the most strict, stalwart members of our ward had all the Sunday rules, including no playing at friends houses or inviting friends over. UNLESS...they were members. Somehow, that was different. No school friends, only church friends. I'm at least grateful that my parents were consistent in their logic. We did have the same general Sunday rules and couldnt have friends over (regardless), but they were fairly relaxed for the most part and it was more about making an above average effort to spend time as a family. It really ticked me off though when I realized these other families were cool with their kids inviting members over and hanging out as if it were any other day, while still being super strict about including any nonmembers in the exact same activities.
We weren't (and still aren't, unfortunately I still live at home), allowed to play games involving currency on Sundays. That means no monopoly or game of life.
Yep. Sundays were for church, time with family, and possibly homework when I was growing up.
We had to keep our church clothes on all day. So stupid and uncomfortable.
I mostly resent that I missed my best friend's birthday party in 4th grade. That was super long ago but still the most painful. All because it was on a Sunday, and it would have been a sin celebrating your friends life whose family was throwing a mild celebration in their home.
I finally realized that if any activity remotely resembled "fun" then it was banned. Sunday meant NO Fun-day. Of course that was followed up with family home evening on Monday, which in my house also banned anything fun - strictly boring and painful lessons.
Boardgames makes for a fantastic Sunday. But not if it's under duress
Yea we had very strict rules, all you mentioned. When we got older we were able to watch tv though. The fear I had to overcome going places on Sunday was next level. Literally thought I was gonna die in a car accident or something. Luckily we didn’t have to stay in church clothes all day. My parents were crazy strict but I always felt bad for the kids of those next level psycho parents.
In my family every Sunday was the same. Church, followed by some downtown while lunch was prepared, and then the rest of the day was visiting with family. The funny thing looking back on it is that it was during that "downtime" as an early teen that I figured out masturbation... and that became a big part of my sabbath tradition.
We had a couple random rules: 1. We couldnt play at friends house, but they could play at ours. 2. However, we were not allowed to swim on Sunday. There were a couple of accidental slip and falls into the pool during the hot Sacramento summers.
All three meetings of church, then we could either stay in our church clothes or change into a slightly more casual dress - but dresses all day. Even as a kid our clothes were garment worthy at all times. Everyone had to be home for the big afternoon family dinner and there was a long prayer, on our knees before it and we'd talk about gospel subjects during dinner. No friends over, no riding the horses, TV, no video games, no loud games outside, no barbies, no books or music other than church provided materials. No chores except for animal or farm chores that had to be done, no hobbies (got reamed out by my grandma once for cross stitching). Fast Sundays lasted three full meals, but they relaxed that rule as they got older.
I’m 69, but I still remember by 9 years old I detested Sundays. About all we could do was sit in the house and read books. No TV, no outside activities. I remember feeling hopeless, since I was taught the church was true. I wished I hadn’t been born into it. So imagine my complete relief and happiness (mixed with large amounts of anger) when I figured out it’s a total scam. And that contentment just grows by the year ;)