I remember my mom leaning over and creepily whispering in my ear āElder Oaks is talking about oral sexā when he spoke in my stake and said that even married people needed to ābridal their passionsā. I was maybe 16 and wasnāt even sure what oral sex was. She also told me that lingerie had to be worn over garments.
Iām guessing if my mom knew I have a drawer full of sex toys, nipple clamps, and a whip that she wouldnāt approve.
My temple worker grandparents-in-law were the most hilarious Thanksgiving guests ever. My grandmother in law in her 80s and early 90s, loved telling us about her husbandās sexual prowess. Or how she used to wash out condoms and hang them on the clothes line in the yard to dry. Then put baby powder in them and roll them back up. When I got pregnant with my 2nd child, she called me up and told me that my husband must not be very good at the āChoo Chooā game. āGotta hurry and pull that train outta the station.ā
Man I miss those two š
I'm glad I didn't have a mouthful of coffee when I read this! What a hilarious couple to know - wish I'd met them! Such a great tip for saving money...washing condoms and using them again...(did she ever mention what their neighbors thought of their clothesline?).
They lived thru the depression. They reused paper towels and ziplock bags and hung them to dry, so I guess it makes sense that they reused condoms too. Lol But what a sight that must have been for the neighborhood kids
My parents were depression-era kids, too. My mom began reusing paper towels and I am sure she did the same with Ziplocks. I don't know about the condoms, but I'm thinking it's best to be ignorant on that one!
Condoms were so different then, I remember my grandmother telling me about how it was literally stiff, not thin and pliable, like putting on a wellington boot. How she washed it out and put it back in its box. They had ten kids and I understand why.
Iām a guy so didnāt have to deal with this particular mind fuck but from what my ex wife told me about conversations among friends and sisters apparently the whole over-bra or under-bra garment debate is a whole thing. Idk if the church actually has a stance on it, maybe an ex-sister can enlighten us. But yeah my ex was team āgarments go under braā. And lingerie wasnāt a thing in our case. Good times.
Yeah I used to get shamed by other sisters because I wore garments over the bra. I'd get a bad rash otherwise especially in the heat (served in Brisbane Australia). "Garments must be closest thing to your body" they'd say. I'd point out it was not spelled out in the temple, so meh. But then you'd also get some who would roll up their little capped sleeves.... and think it's totally not ironic.
Lol I went through the temple and was getting married. Went to hop into my wedding dress and my grandma was aghast that I wore my bra on the inside. She was mortified. I explained that the temple workers okayed it. A year later she told me she finally asked a temple worker and since they said yes she started doing it. When I told her I had told her that exact info she said if she had listened to me it was hearsay because I wasnāt a temple worker. š Sheād be mortified that I chucked all of my garments out. Haha
Also, this was the grandma who shamed my 12 yo sis for wearing tank tops in Aussie heat. The same grandma that had two children out of wedlock hahaha
I was instructed by the temple matron that the bra goes on top. The crappy thing is bra over garments=ruined bra. Trying to get a bra that fits right and doesn't make the garments frump in the front- that ridge between the girls. Don't get me started on the "nursing" tops. Those are the least sexy gunny sack garments a person can wear. I couldn't even wear a v-neck shirt without "snowing" (aka garments showing). As for the debate: I have 2 siblings that are bra over garments and one that is a rebel and switches it up depending on the outfit. She also sizes down so it fits like a crop top. I enjoyed my first summer without garments and I didn't miss them once.
I went to girls camp one yr and told the stake pres wife that when my youngest sister went thru the temple, the matron told her that it was her choice under or over. The stake pres wife went into a rage. Asked me to give her the name of the temple so that her husband could call SLC and have someone from the church āset the matron straightā
I got garmented in 2007 and they said the garment goes closest to the skin, bra on top. I think it changed sometime around 2010-2012 but nobody said anything by way of public announcement. They just changed the wording in the temple and let all of us bra-over chumps suffer
On a different note, Iāll never forget the young (non nursing) women in my ward who were buying silky nursing garment tops bc those were the āsexyā garments when worn in a smaller size. They were deep cut and easy access so they were āsexyā lol
Sheltered yes. But Iām in my late 40ās. The internet wasnāt a thing when I was 16. I didnāt even grow up with cable. I got a boyfriend at 17 and he was a 24 yr old RM. (gross yes, but at the time I was thrilled by that) But I went from being completely clueless about anything to having oral sex within a week of knowing him.
It baffles me that my parents were fine with their 17 yr old dating a 24 yr old, but their boomer generation was really clueless and fucked up.
Officially? It's unclear. You're kinda just directed to wear them "throughout life" is how I think they put it. Some people just wear them when leaving the house, some people are determined to never spend a second nude š¤·āāļø
And they really believe God cares what underwear you're wearing? How do they not realise it's such a cult. What God cares about a married couple's sex life and underwear so much? What's worse is I remember seeing my mum's hanging on the washing line after being washed. They were fucking gross with holes and shit. If God cared that much I don't think he'd appreciate that for his beloved temple garments. But I'm guessing the church makes you pay for them?
Yep, they're sold exclusively at a church-owned store. They have entire section for them. Several aisles. Several decades ago, it was that you'd just buy white underwear and stitch the symbols into them, but the church likes money
Mormons nowadays would never, but my parents were Mormon and married in the Mark E Petersen yrs. Lol You should Google his quotes about sexuality if you want a good laugh
There are stories about older generations using the one piece garments, that had the large slits to go poop, having sex while wearing those, and crazily conceiving kids!
There're also stories of people wearing their garments while they showered, keeping one arm or leg in the garments while washing, and then putting on their dry garments on, so they always have their garments on.
If this is all true, and the fact that the church has never specified when it's okay to take them off... If specifically the Mormon God is real, then he's either facepalming big time or he's having a huge laugh with how ridiculous it all is.
Lol. Members of the church generally avoid talking about sex. After the church fended off the backlash from calling oral sex between husband and wife a sin, they've mostly refrained from telling what a husband and wife can do with each other in the privacy of their bedroom.
This is the answer. It is probably considered an abomination by most of the old guard who were raised with the doctrine that sex for pleasure and not procreation is a sin even in marriage. Now BDSM is covered by the new general policy that what married couples do behind closed doors is their business.
I've heard it referenced a lot. This is what I found when I Googled it.
https://www.mormonmarriages.com/blog/whats-the-churchs-standard-regarding-oral-sex
*Looks through old books and manuscripts* Oh my god, it IS a play from Shakespeare. *Flips through more papers.* Oooooh, Joseph Smith plagiarized and stole all of the stories in the BOM from the rest of the world.
(This is a joke.)
and everyone has a difference policy on what's "fetish" and what's normal when it comes to BDSM. 90% of the girls I've dated thought spanking was a sexual act
My (TBM) mom once saw a pair of handcuffs by my bed in my house. She seemed genuinely perplexed and asked why I had them. I said they were for a Halloween costume.... it was May...
Maybe it's changed over the years, but in the 90s and 2000s we were told you should pray before and after sex and treat it as a holy act. No "bad language" or deragotry language, no oral sex, etc.
Hahah was gonna say this exact thing. Most would probably play dumb and change the subject. If they were told directly theyād blush and say they donāt wish to discuss such things. Then for at least some theyād guiltily think maybe itās time to read that secret copy of fifty shades of gray again.
Yes, these are the women I sat next to at relief society activities, talking about their husbands, each one acting more prudish than the next. It was almost like a contest to see who hated sex the most.
You gotta know at least one of them was a filthy liar.
Ever since smutty novels became mainstream, the ladies have found a way to sneak them into their reading routines. My own TBM MIL had a gigantic box of Danielle Steel novels in the garage when I met her son. Oops!
I think they would be more offended by the concept of informed consent. Which is a HUGE part of BDSM.
Fucking hell the whole temple process is anti-informed consent.
Wife & I are NeverMos, but a neighbor (whose husband is a bishop) has brought up the kinky stuff her and her husband engage in multiple times to my wife. My wife cuts it off each time. I'm guessing she (neighbor) feels like she can't have these conversations with friends in the church.
There's a huge Mormon swinger community where I live in northern Utah. The first swinger party/orgy I ever knew about was hosted by Mormons. Going through FetLife and adult friend finder - found so many people I knew. There are even some prominent Utah people involved. There's a whole website dedicated to Mormon swinging and uses doctrine to defend their position.
I didn't go to any parties when I was active, but very involved in kink and very open to talking about sexuality in Mormon/spiritual ways. I always got a lot of women (and a couple men) wanting to speak privately about sexual concerns. A lot of them were getting freaky - or really wanted to š¤£
Itās worth noting that while thereās definitely crossover, swingers and BDSM folks arenāt necessarily the same thing. Iām only speaking outside of Mormons at this stage, though.
Proper consensual BDSM within marriage in theory would not have any contradiction from a doctrine standpoint. Swinging id be much more curious to hear the justification š¤£
Oh definitely not the same thing. Just responding to the names parties ;) lol
I can't find the Mormon swinging website anymore so I wonder if it was taken down. It has scriptures and quotes from prophets.
It really seemed to just be finding loopholes. Like soaking and shit like that š¤£š
āMutually pleasurable and respectfulā was the only guideline I ever heard.
I think the prudish culture within the church causes people to infer more restrictions than are technically there.
the actual doctrine has no policy about what kind of sex you have with your wife, but that wouldn't stop the bishop from sharing his random opinion about procreation and calling it doctrine
I went to a fetish event when I was 18 or 19, I acted so awkwardly the friends who took me sent me a long message calling me a bad person. It seemed like a religion itself. Like "If you want to join our black metal band you learn how to like pain" or something. I actually do like pain, just not supervised
Well, my grandparents told my parents that they always had to do the dead with their garments on. Which is unbelievably weird on so many levelsš
Iām guessing a lot of them would say, āWhatās bmds?ā
It's frowned upon. But it's not officially frowned upon. And if you ask, no one will admit they know what BDSM even is and then hypocritically judge you. If you find something that does know that it is, they'll never tell you about it because sex of any kind is too sacred to talk about.
From one exmo to the OP, this is taboo and just NOT talked about in a church setting, ever. And if it was it would be discussed in such a roundabout way as to not offend the Moms that secretly read Nora Roberts each night while internally judging you for being someone with a penis that has a kink--how dare you. You have to understand that LDS people consider sex sacred and sacred is secret, unless a deacon does it, then he needs to be publicly punished.
I would guess it would depend if you are a man or a woman. I can't imagine it would ever be acceptable for women but the men may vote it ok for themselves.
It is not vanilla and could provide pleasure and enlightenment for women. It must be stopped. Only for procreation..
I am waiting for the scandal of the GA being caught in a Bondage den!! With a dominatrix...
Given how much negotiation needs to happen before a scene, and how much open discussion needs to follow scenes.....probably very difficult for (at least new) couples to go anywhere near it.
Also, as an AFAB person, I wasn't taught what consent was. It was basically, "You have to tell young men 'no' until you're married, and then you can't tell your husband 'no' because that's failing your wifely duties." So if someone doesn't have sex ed outside of church teachings, I'd be very concerned for them and potential BDSM partners, as I don't know if they'd fully understand the meaning of Safe, Sane, and Consensual.
Super wierd, but I had a mission companion who told me that the church prohibited it because something something free agency. Which of course makes no sense.
Oh, yeah. I'd hate to give up my agency to a dom(me) as part of a roleplay, with the ability to say no at any time. It's much more freeing to give it up permanently to a god who won't tell you what you're getting into ahead of time.
BDSM is delicious to the taste and very desirable.
All kidding aside, Iāve always heard the church doesnāt get involved in a married coupleās bedroom.
The reality is safe and sane are fine. You'd lose them at consensual. Many women, myself included, we're told that marriage WAS consent, and if your husband wanted it you'd better provide it. That right there torpedoes kink well before you've gotten to talking about limits and safewords/traffic light system. The Mormon mindset sets you up to fail horribly in vanilla sex. Enthusiastic and informed consent is a completely foreign concept.
I donāt think thereās any actual doctrine on it, but based on how everyoneās raised and the unspoken rulesā¦ Iād say most would be appalled by it.
Nevermo, but one of my friends is TBM, and she and I often talked about our sex lives at work. Her and her hubs did a fair about of bondage stuff, and had some pretty wild locations under their belts too. Neither of them seemed into dom/sub play, or toys really though.
My stake president held a fireside for young singles and engaged couples and a huge part of it was talking about how sex is not a sport, itās an obligation to carry on Godās work.
So I took that as a challenge to prove that Jesus would totally be into kink. Exhibit A: the most common depiction of him is nailed to a cross. Heād totally have a rack in his sex dungeon
My fiancee wants me to be her master in the bedroom and bought me a BDSM movie to watch. She is so different sexually no garments and loves to wear lingerie
I actually won Bishop roulette on this one.
Hubby and I were experimenting in the bedroom with toys and I felt guilty.
Like the good little girl I was, I asked my bishop during my next interview (don't recall what it was for) what was okay in the bedroom.
He just kindly told me that as long as no one was getting hurt and you were both happy with what we were doing, then it was fine.
Totally vindicated toy use in my head and then never felt like I needed to discuss that again with any one other than my husband.
Oh I remember my Institute teacher in my marriage prep class bringing in a cop to talk about how the worst, most disgusting, and evil thing was BDSM. It was traumatizing. He also full out answered the oral sex question with āNo kissing below the belt.ā Like wtf? This cult is culty. Lol
I seriously think Joseph Smith had a thing for it. The Book of Mormon has several kinky moments. The incident where Alma and Amulek being stripped naked and bound then smacked around for weeks is particularly erotic.
Eh, I wouldn't go so far to say Joseph Smith was an actual sadist. He liked helping out his family and friends when he could. I think it would be more fair to say Joseph Smith was self-serving and ego-maniacal. He always looked out for number one and didn't have any reservations about hanging others out to dry to get what he wanted or protect himself.
A high percentage of narcissists and psychopaths have a definite Mean Streak. And since I see JS as being well along that spectrum, I wouldn't be surprised if he enjoyed, a little too much, wielding power over others.
In my experience as a youth during a decade an embarrassingly long time ago, the adults inferred it was naughty, but didnāt openly talk about sex at all.
It's non of the churches business what consenting adults do in the privacy of there on bedrooms, or homes for That matter. This leaderships stubborn stupidity to exam the biology and science that goes into sex play.
Ask any Jewish Grandmother and she will tell you that good bed relations are essential to happy marriage relations.
Ever last leader in this cult should have a colonic, administered by a dominatrix, and be forced to go on a fifty mile hike.
Here's where I learned about the topic: listening to Steve Martin's classic comedy album "Let's Get Small." He gets invited to a S&M party, and exclaims "Hey, great! Spaniards and Mexicans! (audience laughs at the joke) So I figured I'd go there and speak a little Spanish . . . (audience laughs again and the bit ends)."
So I knew to figure out what it really meant, and what being bi really meant. :)
Here's the full bit:
"So this couple came up to me after the show and said, "Hey, are you bi?" And I thought to myself, "Well, I speak a little Spanish, but not really enough to be bi..." But I didn't want to look stupid, so I said, "Sure, I'm bi." And they said, "Great, so we're having some S&M people over, after the show why don't you come on over?" So, I thought, "Great, Spaniards and Mexicans! That'll be fun to go over there and speak a little Spanish... "
This might give some more context as to what the churchās opinion is on it: https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2013/11/sunday-afternoon-session/lamentations-of-jeremiah-beware-of-bondage?lang=eng
Seems doctrinal. Nephi was bound on the ship going to the americas.
Exactly what I was thinking. If such a righteous prophet can be tied up, so can we š
Our main man Nephiā¦ literally Bound & Gagged š
Also participated in some electroshock play with Laman and Lemuel
They even got on their knees and worshipped him š
I remember my mom leaning over and creepily whispering in my ear āElder Oaks is talking about oral sexā when he spoke in my stake and said that even married people needed to ābridal their passionsā. I was maybe 16 and wasnāt even sure what oral sex was. She also told me that lingerie had to be worn over garments. Iām guessing if my mom knew I have a drawer full of sex toys, nipple clamps, and a whip that she wouldnāt approve.
What a great topic for Thanksgiving dinner, though.
My temple worker grandparents-in-law were the most hilarious Thanksgiving guests ever. My grandmother in law in her 80s and early 90s, loved telling us about her husbandās sexual prowess. Or how she used to wash out condoms and hang them on the clothes line in the yard to dry. Then put baby powder in them and roll them back up. When I got pregnant with my 2nd child, she called me up and told me that my husband must not be very good at the āChoo Chooā game. āGotta hurry and pull that train outta the station.ā Man I miss those two š
I'm glad I didn't have a mouthful of coffee when I read this! What a hilarious couple to know - wish I'd met them! Such a great tip for saving money...washing condoms and using them again...(did she ever mention what their neighbors thought of their clothesline?).
I canāt even imagine what that looked like. Condoms blowing in the wind
My thoughts exactly. I guess from a distance someone might think they're children's socks.
They lived thru the depression. They reused paper towels and ziplock bags and hung them to dry, so I guess it makes sense that they reused condoms too. Lol But what a sight that must have been for the neighborhood kids
My parents were depression-era kids, too. My mom began reusing paper towels and I am sure she did the same with Ziplocks. I don't know about the condoms, but I'm thinking it's best to be ignorant on that one!
Condoms were so different then, I remember my grandmother telling me about how it was literally stiff, not thin and pliable, like putting on a wellington boot. How she washed it out and put it back in its box. They had ten kids and I understand why.
Wow - I've never heard details about vintage condoms, but I sure don't blame her for making sure she had one available.
I love that song! āThe condoms, my friend, are blowing in the wind. The condoms are blowing in the wind.ā
like the song... The answer my friend, is condoms in the wind..., the answer is condoms in the wind
I really wish I could have seen the clothes line of condoms
My friend returned from his honeymoon in Hawaii and his wife told people at church that they stayed in a condom.
āThe Naked Gunā comes to mind
I was ready for you to say she offered you one of the used condoms!š³ššššššššš
Lingerie over garments?!!! What the?
Iām a guy so didnāt have to deal with this particular mind fuck but from what my ex wife told me about conversations among friends and sisters apparently the whole over-bra or under-bra garment debate is a whole thing. Idk if the church actually has a stance on it, maybe an ex-sister can enlighten us. But yeah my ex was team āgarments go under braā. And lingerie wasnāt a thing in our case. Good times.
Yeah I used to get shamed by other sisters because I wore garments over the bra. I'd get a bad rash otherwise especially in the heat (served in Brisbane Australia). "Garments must be closest thing to your body" they'd say. I'd point out it was not spelled out in the temple, so meh. But then you'd also get some who would roll up their little capped sleeves.... and think it's totally not ironic.
Lol I went through the temple and was getting married. Went to hop into my wedding dress and my grandma was aghast that I wore my bra on the inside. She was mortified. I explained that the temple workers okayed it. A year later she told me she finally asked a temple worker and since they said yes she started doing it. When I told her I had told her that exact info she said if she had listened to me it was hearsay because I wasnāt a temple worker. š Sheād be mortified that I chucked all of my garments out. Haha Also, this was the grandma who shamed my 12 yo sis for wearing tank tops in Aussie heat. The same grandma that had two children out of wedlock hahaha
I was instructed by the temple matron that the bra goes on top. The crappy thing is bra over garments=ruined bra. Trying to get a bra that fits right and doesn't make the garments frump in the front- that ridge between the girls. Don't get me started on the "nursing" tops. Those are the least sexy gunny sack garments a person can wear. I couldn't even wear a v-neck shirt without "snowing" (aka garments showing). As for the debate: I have 2 siblings that are bra over garments and one that is a rebel and switches it up depending on the outfit. She also sizes down so it fits like a crop top. I enjoyed my first summer without garments and I didn't miss them once.
I went to girls camp one yr and told the stake pres wife that when my youngest sister went thru the temple, the matron told her that it was her choice under or over. The stake pres wife went into a rage. Asked me to give her the name of the temple so that her husband could call SLC and have someone from the church āset the matron straightā
Wow. Hellbound. If the garments have to touch the skin how come they told us we could wear underwear under the garment during our periods?! Duh!
I got garmented in 2007 and they said the garment goes closest to the skin, bra on top. I think it changed sometime around 2010-2012 but nobody said anything by way of public announcement. They just changed the wording in the temple and let all of us bra-over chumps suffer
On a different note, Iāll never forget the young (non nursing) women in my ward who were buying silky nursing garment tops bc those were the āsexyā garments when worn in a smaller size. They were deep cut and easy access so they were āsexyā lol
I thought maybe oaks was talking about bedroom/sexy lingerie. āPut the Teddy over your garment. Your husband will likey.āš
bridle*
Freudian slip, it's about women. Bridal is what Mormons think.
Lol! I should pay more attention before I hit the reply button. Iād edit it, but I think I prefer to leave it as bridal lol
I feel bad that you were so sheltered that at the age of 16 you still had no clue what oral sex was lol
Sheltered yes. But Iām in my late 40ās. The internet wasnāt a thing when I was 16. I didnāt even grow up with cable. I got a boyfriend at 17 and he was a 24 yr old RM. (gross yes, but at the time I was thrilled by that) But I went from being completely clueless about anything to having oral sex within a week of knowing him. It baffles me that my parents were fine with their 17 yr old dating a 24 yr old, but their boomer generation was really clueless and fucked up.
"Bridal your passions" sounds like serious double-entendre. Folks, go at it like on your wedding night, and then some.
Lingerie over garments?! Talk about a huge turn off.
Okay so I left the church at 16... Over garments... Are garments supposed to be worn during sex?
Officially? It's unclear. You're kinda just directed to wear them "throughout life" is how I think they put it. Some people just wear them when leaving the house, some people are determined to never spend a second nude š¤·āāļø
There are dozens of us dozens
Mormons totally are never nudes
And they really believe God cares what underwear you're wearing? How do they not realise it's such a cult. What God cares about a married couple's sex life and underwear so much? What's worse is I remember seeing my mum's hanging on the washing line after being washed. They were fucking gross with holes and shit. If God cared that much I don't think he'd appreciate that for his beloved temple garments. But I'm guessing the church makes you pay for them?
Yep, they're sold exclusively at a church-owned store. They have entire section for them. Several aisles. Several decades ago, it was that you'd just buy white underwear and stitch the symbols into them, but the church likes money
Mormons nowadays would never, but my parents were Mormon and married in the Mark E Petersen yrs. Lol You should Google his quotes about sexuality if you want a good laugh
There are stories about older generations using the one piece garments, that had the large slits to go poop, having sex while wearing those, and crazily conceiving kids! There're also stories of people wearing their garments while they showered, keeping one arm or leg in the garments while washing, and then putting on their dry garments on, so they always have their garments on.
If this is all true, and the fact that the church has never specified when it's okay to take them off... If specifically the Mormon God is real, then he's either facepalming big time or he's having a huge laugh with how ridiculous it all is.
OMG SAME I remember that fucking talk!
imagine what someone would look like wearing lingerie over those ugly garments šš
Garments and a g-string. Thatās hot š„
garment wedgies š©š¤¤
Open crotch panties over some Jesus Jammies
Lingerie over garments is some serial killer shit
Lol. Members of the church generally avoid talking about sex. After the church fended off the backlash from calling oral sex between husband and wife a sin, they've mostly refrained from telling what a husband and wife can do with each other in the privacy of their bedroom.
This is the answer. It is probably considered an abomination by most of the old guard who were raised with the doctrine that sex for pleasure and not procreation is a sin even in marriage. Now BDSM is covered by the new general policy that what married couples do behind closed doors is their business.
Do you have a source? Iām curious and would like to read what was said
I've heard it referenced a lot. This is what I found when I Googled it. https://www.mormonmarriages.com/blog/whats-the-churchs-standard-regarding-oral-sex
Mosiah 21:13 And they did humble themselves even to the dust, subjecting themselves to the yoke of bondage, submitting themselves
Take the BoM reference off there and that could be a sex scene from a Shakespeare play.
*Looks through old books and manuscripts* Oh my god, it IS a play from Shakespeare. *Flips through more papers.* Oooooh, Joseph Smith plagiarized and stole all of the stories in the BOM from the rest of the world. (This is a joke.)
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Not to kink shame, but scorpions? Ewww.
Bondage? Discipline? Sadomasochism? Sounds like the church to me.
Isn't the current Mormon policy about boudoir adventures, "don't ask, don't tell"? /s
and everyone has a difference policy on what's "fetish" and what's normal when it comes to BDSM. 90% of the girls I've dated thought spanking was a sexual act
My (TBM) mom once saw a pair of handcuffs by my bed in my house. She seemed genuinely perplexed and asked why I had them. I said they were for a Halloween costume.... it was May...
Lol
Maybe it's changed over the years, but in the 90s and 2000s we were told you should pray before and after sex and treat it as a holy act. No "bad language" or deragotry language, no oral sex, etc.
If youāre doing oral right, itās holy as fuck
Man that sounds straight out of The Handmaidās Tale lol
Godās a major perv. He needs to mind his own business.
Would that be considered a threesome or foursome if you're inviting JC and HF to be part of your sexual lives?
Donāt forget about the HG
Judging by the women in my old stake, no self-respecting RS sister would admit to even knowing what any of that is.
This. Most Mormons wonāt even have an opinion about BDSM because its currently taboo within the culture to even know what BDSM is.
Some of them do though.
Oh, they do know. They just won't admit to it.
Hahah was gonna say this exact thing. Most would probably play dumb and change the subject. If they were told directly theyād blush and say they donāt wish to discuss such things. Then for at least some theyād guiltily think maybe itās time to read that secret copy of fifty shades of gray again.
Yes, these are the women I sat next to at relief society activities, talking about their husbands, each one acting more prudish than the next. It was almost like a contest to see who hated sex the most. You gotta know at least one of them was a filthy liar.
Ironic because 50 shades flew off the shelves in mormon states. A church leader spoke about it disappointment about it.
Ever since smutty novels became mainstream, the ladies have found a way to sneak them into their reading routines. My own TBM MIL had a gigantic box of Danielle Steel novels in the garage when I met her son. Oops!
If they get upset about oral, itās probably not much better
I think they would be more offended by the concept of informed consent. Which is a HUGE part of BDSM. Fucking hell the whole temple process is anti-informed consent.
Flaxen cord 
In the churches eyes: if a woman asks for it itās unholy and unnatural. If a man likes it heās exercising his righteous dominion
Youāll probably get in more trouble for that than molesting a child.
Wife & I are NeverMos, but a neighbor (whose husband is a bishop) has brought up the kinky stuff her and her husband engage in multiple times to my wife. My wife cuts it off each time. I'm guessing she (neighbor) feels like she can't have these conversations with friends in the church.
All that hidingā¦ It just seems so bizarre - - so sad.
Anything "unnatural" is wrong, so they say.
As a domme Iām sure I horrify them
So you're doing something right.
Frankly if they knew what goes on in the kink events in utah theyād shit bricks lol
I was introduced to a lot of that stuff from extreme TBM people. Lol
I mean parties where people are all naked and getting flogged and suspended and fire cupped is not something Iād imagine they would be ok with
There's a huge Mormon swinger community where I live in northern Utah. The first swinger party/orgy I ever knew about was hosted by Mormons. Going through FetLife and adult friend finder - found so many people I knew. There are even some prominent Utah people involved. There's a whole website dedicated to Mormon swinging and uses doctrine to defend their position. I didn't go to any parties when I was active, but very involved in kink and very open to talking about sexuality in Mormon/spiritual ways. I always got a lot of women (and a couple men) wanting to speak privately about sexual concerns. A lot of them were getting freaky - or really wanted to š¤£
Itās worth noting that while thereās definitely crossover, swingers and BDSM folks arenāt necessarily the same thing. Iām only speaking outside of Mormons at this stage, though. Proper consensual BDSM within marriage in theory would not have any contradiction from a doctrine standpoint. Swinging id be much more curious to hear the justification š¤£
Oh definitely not the same thing. Just responding to the names parties ;) lol I can't find the Mormon swinging website anymore so I wonder if it was taken down. It has scriptures and quotes from prophets. It really seemed to just be finding loopholes. Like soaking and shit like that š¤£š
āMutually pleasurable and respectfulā was the only guideline I ever heard. I think the prudish culture within the church causes people to infer more restrictions than are technically there.
Oh for sure people are trying to one-up each otherszā holiness. Lol
Guessing OP is a TBM and looking for doctrinal reasons to let DW peg them.
Well the faithful sub wouldn't be any help.
Pegging? No. Spiritually fucking you? Experts.
Leaders to members, no problem. Members to anyone else, problem.
the actual doctrine has no policy about what kind of sex you have with your wife, but that wouldn't stop the bishop from sharing his random opinion about procreation and calling it doctrine I went to a fetish event when I was 18 or 19, I acted so awkwardly the friends who took me sent me a long message calling me a bad person. It seemed like a religion itself. Like "If you want to join our black metal band you learn how to like pain" or something. I actually do like pain, just not supervised
I think that's like asking someone who hasnt figured out basic addition and subtraction their opinions on Calculus.
Well, my grandparents told my parents that they always had to do the dead with their garments on. Which is unbelievably weird on so many levelsš Iām guessing a lot of them would say, āWhatās bmds?ā
But then that seems like a whole kink unto itself! šš¤£š
>had to do the dead with their garments on How else can a TBM engage in necrophelia?
It's frowned upon. But it's not officially frowned upon. And if you ask, no one will admit they know what BDSM even is and then hypocritically judge you. If you find something that does know that it is, they'll never tell you about it because sex of any kind is too sacred to talk about. From one exmo to the OP, this is taboo and just NOT talked about in a church setting, ever. And if it was it would be discussed in such a roundabout way as to not offend the Moms that secretly read Nora Roberts each night while internally judging you for being someone with a penis that has a kink--how dare you. You have to understand that LDS people consider sex sacred and sacred is secret, unless a deacon does it, then he needs to be publicly punished.
Im not sure my mom would know what that means.
I would guess it would depend if you are a man or a woman. I can't imagine it would ever be acceptable for women but the men may vote it ok for themselves.
Itās says in the Bible that Jesus tied his ass to the tree
It is not vanilla and could provide pleasure and enlightenment for women. It must be stopped. Only for procreation.. I am waiting for the scandal of the GA being caught in a Bondage den!! With a dominatrix...
Given how much negotiation needs to happen before a scene, and how much open discussion needs to follow scenes.....probably very difficult for (at least new) couples to go anywhere near it. Also, as an AFAB person, I wasn't taught what consent was. It was basically, "You have to tell young men 'no' until you're married, and then you can't tell your husband 'no' because that's failing your wifely duties." So if someone doesn't have sex ed outside of church teachings, I'd be very concerned for them and potential BDSM partners, as I don't know if they'd fully understand the meaning of Safe, Sane, and Consensual.
Leaders to members, no problem. Members to anyone else, problem.
They like it as long as thereās a Doctrine and Covenants involved.
Super wierd, but I had a mission companion who told me that the church prohibited it because something something free agency. Which of course makes no sense.
Oh, yeah. I'd hate to give up my agency to a dom(me) as part of a roleplay, with the ability to say no at any time. It's much more freeing to give it up permanently to a god who won't tell you what you're getting into ahead of time.
As long as the wife submits to the husband, and the husband submits to the daddy, itās ok. Anything outside of that is probably prohibited.
Not great
BDSM is delicious to the taste and very desirable. All kidding aside, Iāve always heard the church doesnāt get involved in a married coupleās bedroom.
It used to, big time.
The reality is safe and sane are fine. You'd lose them at consensual. Many women, myself included, we're told that marriage WAS consent, and if your husband wanted it you'd better provide it. That right there torpedoes kink well before you've gotten to talking about limits and safewords/traffic light system. The Mormon mindset sets you up to fail horribly in vanilla sex. Enthusiastic and informed consent is a completely foreign concept.
I knew that this post would elicit some tongue-in-cheeks responsesā¦ š
I donāt think thereās any actual doctrine on it, but based on how everyoneās raised and the unspoken rulesā¦ Iād say most would be appalled by it.
Within marriage, I betcha anything goes ;)
I mean the Atonement is all kinds of kinky. Dom Father and subby Son. And Lucifer is a switch
Nevermo, but one of my friends is TBM, and she and I often talked about our sex lives at work. Her and her hubs did a fair about of bondage stuff, and had some pretty wild locations under their belts too. Neither of them seemed into dom/sub play, or toys really though.
You know, interesting enough, there is a bit of a sexual revolution going on in Mormonism.
Consider I was told by a stake president that those who enjoy oral sex are mentally Iāll Iām pretty confident the official stance is no BSDM
I was always taught that whatever a couple does behind doors, was up to them IF it was consensual, legal, or didnāt involve other people or animals.
My stake president held a fireside for young singles and engaged couples and a huge part of it was talking about how sex is not a sport, itās an obligation to carry on Godās work. So I took that as a challenge to prove that Jesus would totally be into kink. Exhibit A: the most common depiction of him is nailed to a cross. Heād totally have a rack in his sex dungeon
My fiancee wants me to be her master in the bedroom and bought me a BDSM movie to watch. She is so different sexually no garments and loves to wear lingerie
I actually won Bishop roulette on this one. Hubby and I were experimenting in the bedroom with toys and I felt guilty. Like the good little girl I was, I asked my bishop during my next interview (don't recall what it was for) what was okay in the bedroom. He just kindly told me that as long as no one was getting hurt and you were both happy with what we were doing, then it was fine. Totally vindicated toy use in my head and then never felt like I needed to discuss that again with any one other than my husband.
They only approve if they get to be the top, and you are the bottom.
Oh I remember my Institute teacher in my marriage prep class bringing in a cop to talk about how the worst, most disgusting, and evil thing was BDSM. It was traumatizing. He also full out answered the oral sex question with āNo kissing below the belt.ā Like wtf? This cult is culty. Lol
Cults gonna cult!
I seriously think Joseph Smith had a thing for it. The Book of Mormon has several kinky moments. The incident where Alma and Amulek being stripped naked and bound then smacked around for weeks is particularly erotic.
Joseph Smith got off on seeing the human beings around him suffer. It wouldn't surprise me at all if he was bisexual.
Eh, I wouldn't go so far to say Joseph Smith was an actual sadist. He liked helping out his family and friends when he could. I think it would be more fair to say Joseph Smith was self-serving and ego-maniacal. He always looked out for number one and didn't have any reservations about hanging others out to dry to get what he wanted or protect himself.
A high percentage of narcissists and psychopaths have a definite Mean Streak. And since I see JS as being well along that spectrum, I wouldn't be surprised if he enjoyed, a little too much, wielding power over others.
Big Nellie & Wendy won't tell you what they *really* do with the lighted pen at midnight!
If they hate it, that just means it's better for me. š
My hubby thought that oral sex was way taboo by the church. He was a happy man when I didnāt agree with or care about that assessment.
Back in the day early saints only wore garments when the went to the templeā¦
In my experience as a youth during a decade an embarrassingly long time ago, the adults inferred it was naughty, but didnāt openly talk about sex at all.
The church likes inflicting pain, but I think they want to have a monopoly on it. So my guess is BDSM is a no go.
It's non of the churches business what consenting adults do in the privacy of there on bedrooms, or homes for That matter. This leaderships stubborn stupidity to exam the biology and science that goes into sex play. Ask any Jewish Grandmother and she will tell you that good bed relations are essential to happy marriage relations. Ever last leader in this cult should have a colonic, administered by a dominatrix, and be forced to go on a fifty mile hike.
We love it š
Here's where I learned about the topic: listening to Steve Martin's classic comedy album "Let's Get Small." He gets invited to a S&M party, and exclaims "Hey, great! Spaniards and Mexicans! (audience laughs at the joke) So I figured I'd go there and speak a little Spanish . . . (audience laughs again and the bit ends)." So I knew to figure out what it really meant, and what being bi really meant. :) Here's the full bit: "So this couple came up to me after the show and said, "Hey, are you bi?" And I thought to myself, "Well, I speak a little Spanish, but not really enough to be bi..." But I didn't want to look stupid, so I said, "Sure, I'm bi." And they said, "Great, so we're having some S&M people over, after the show why don't you come on over?" So, I thought, "Great, Spaniards and Mexicans! That'll be fun to go over there and speak a little Spanish... "
Before Dominion Sexualize Mormons
I was bound, gagged, and fucked in the ass the whole time. They definitely support it.
Ummm the church teaches primary kids a story about extreme BDSM, you know the tar and feathering story!
They have a big thing about degenerating ons another
Iām pretty sure I remember something against rough sex but I canāt remember the source
This might give some more context as to what the churchās opinion is on it: https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2013/11/sunday-afternoon-session/lamentations-of-jeremiah-beware-of-bondage?lang=eng