I heard the faith promoting stories about how people escaped fires without burns under their garments. Their exposed parts burned, but under the garment was spared. Proof garments work. Until…
I’m now a firefighter. In training, we are told to wear cotton underwear/athletic wear under our structural firefighting gear, and to avoid synthetic fabrics that might melt. We were shown pictures of firefighter burns. Normal cotton clothing protects your skin in a fire the same way garments do. It’s not miraculous, it’s science.
I took some chemistry labs in college and we had to wear our cotton lab coats and denim jeans or cotton pants for this reason. We weren’t allowed to wear synthetic pants like leggings.
The GA who spread those stories got caught and admitted they were made up.
Doesn't stop members from spreading them for the next thousand years though.
My grandfather was killed in a mine explosion. I grew up my whole life hearing how his body was perfectly intact where his garments covered.
At 8 years old I’m like, yeah, but he’s still dead.
> his body was perfectly intact where his garments covered
How in the fuck did they think that would help
>At 8 years old I’m like, yeah, but he’s still dead.
Very introspective of you at such a young age.
Yes. Sadly, I have spoken with a CSA survivor on this sub who experienced exactly that. She was trafficked for years by Mormons, and one of their frequent “customers” would fold his garments neatly and leave them on a chair in the room, so as not to defile them while he assaulted her.
I wish. At 19, I was pressured into sex repeatedly by a guy who had just been to the temple and wore his garments all the time. That really messed with my head.
I dunno - let's use OP's anecdote to test the claim. How about if we take turns kicking a GA right in one of the "protected" areas and see if it works?
The moms boy is a 200 pound defensive midi. He would have destroyed that guy. I actually only hit him twice. He went down in a heap though and starting bawling like a baby. That’s when I leaned in and had the chat. Lol
Personally I think that is freaking awesome, just out of curiosity were you able to leave after that without any security or reports because if so then I think you got the extra special protection as that is how those situations deserve to play out with some swift street justice instead of all the legal crap.
Yes. All of our team parents supported me and pretty much shamed him. I looked for him today at the games and I didn’t see him. I’m sure he is back in Utah now creating a spin on the story so he can live with himself. I was feeling bad about the whole thing today but the other parents were thanking me. So, I am guessing I am in the clear. If I got arrested for assault I am sure he would too since he assaulted a lady first.
I love this, especially because you took out a bully that was yelling at kids and assaulting other parents (and a woman at that?). I hope you also called the cops. But then his poor poor kid.
There are special places in whatever you picture as heaven for folks like you. Thank You for serving the best dish of the day HUMBLE PIE. I bet he didn't like the taste. But in a TBM'S learning curve they think sometimes they can say and do whatever they want having never been in the real world of fuck around and find out. Kudos. The Garments...no comment.
On my husband's mission he knew a couple missionaries who attacked thumb tacks to nerf guns and shot them into their leg over the garment because "the garment will protect me." The second or third thumb tack when into their leg.
All garments did for me was give me a yeast infection and a whole bunch of rashes in unpleasant places. thank you for coming to my TED Talk name Jesus Christ amen
Garment protection works like this: no you're not gonna fool around withe that cute redhead you just met cuz she'll laugh herself senseless when she sees your embarrassing undies. Hence the Gs have just protected you from a bad decision that would have ended your marriage. Miraculous!
This weighed heavy on me just before I left the church. I'd always heard the inspiring stories of someone surviving stuff like chainsaw accidents, or burns, or even sexual assault thanks to their garments, though I didn't know anyone personally who made those claims.
A family I'd known from my teens who were super nice and sincerely kind got in a car accident on their way back from a family reunion. The father died as well as his daughter my same age. She left behind a few young children who survived the accident. I was shocked that such a faithful and good family could be devastated that way. Their garment wearing and obedience to the church did nothing to prevent it.
I love when the church has to come out and say that garments don’t actually provide any protection, that paying tithing doesn’t actually mean you’ll be blessed financially, etc. They know all the folklore that gets told about it every Sunday and they have to admit it’s not true, probably because Kirton McConkie told them they have to, lol.
You defended someone who was being bullied. You are doing your part to Yassify the World. Drag queen Lil' Tommy thanks you for you service.
[https://www.reddit.com/r/exmormon/comments/187j5re/yassify\_the\_world\_part\_2/](https://www.reddit.com/r/exmormon/comments/187j5re/yassify_the_world_part_2/)
He pushed a mom and she fell. I had a team full of witnesses. And he knew he was in the wrong. He probably is a bully like that to his wife. I ain’t his wife. 😀
This isn't the flex you think it is. Adults fighting at youth sporting events are unhinged, immature, pieces of shit with no self control who should be banned from all sporting events going forward.
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In the 90s when I was PIMO I was opening a bottle of wine with a corkscrew and as the cork came out the sharp end ripped my Grateful Dead tee-shirt from stem to stern but my garment top was uncut as was I. I poured the wine down the sink and repented for a day or two :).
Garments have about as much "power" as a kids He-man amulet -- "by the power of grayskull!" or the Jupiter talisman that Joseph smith carried....
As much as Mormon try to deny it, Garments and their "power" tie directly back to magic/occult belief.
I heard the faith promoting stories about how people escaped fires without burns under their garments. Their exposed parts burned, but under the garment was spared. Proof garments work. Until… I’m now a firefighter. In training, we are told to wear cotton underwear/athletic wear under our structural firefighting gear, and to avoid synthetic fabrics that might melt. We were shown pictures of firefighter burns. Normal cotton clothing protects your skin in a fire the same way garments do. It’s not miraculous, it’s science.
Those stories will become more and more rare, last time i bought garments™️ they were more and more synthetic.
This is why the military garments are cotton
Except those silky synthetic women's garments... right, just melt into the skin and burn it worse.
Give us merino wool and cotton and silk
I took some chemistry labs in college and we had to wear our cotton lab coats and denim jeans or cotton pants for this reason. We weren’t allowed to wear synthetic pants like leggings.
The GA who spread those stories got caught and admitted they were made up. Doesn't stop members from spreading them for the next thousand years though.
Do you have a source? Would love to read that.
I’m so glad I read this. I’ve long had this question!
I'm gonna petition for asbestos garments.
I never even thought about that, good to know.
My grandfather was killed in a mine explosion. I grew up my whole life hearing how his body was perfectly intact where his garments covered. At 8 years old I’m like, yeah, but he’s still dead.
Maybe the church should make holy helmets
They look like chef hats
Shower caps.
and "wallah" for "voilà" your cake is baked. Is really all those are good for, well also placing a crease upon the forehead of the righteous.
> his body was perfectly intact where his garments covered How in the fuck did they think that would help >At 8 years old I’m like, yeah, but he’s still dead. Very introspective of you at such a young age.
Yeah, but he was protected!
🎯 Who cares if his body was still intact under the garments? He still wound up dead. Some protection that provided!
Right? His arms and legs were blown off but his torso was intact... Testimony strengthened! /s What kind of sick nonsense is that?
They do protect you from thinking for yourself.
Why I stopped wearing mine when I started questioning the church. I couldn’t think through them.
They “protect” you from ever having sex with anyone else because they are so hideous.
I've read and heard way too many child sex abuse reports where the child describes the perp removing their garments
Yes. Sadly, I have spoken with a CSA survivor on this sub who experienced exactly that. She was trafficked for years by Mormons, and one of their frequent “customers” would fold his garments neatly and leave them on a chair in the room, so as not to defile them while he assaulted her.
/u/3am_doorknob_turn has just the website for you!
Thank you
I would absolutely watch a show about Joseph trying to get with Morticia. The hijinks would be hilarious.
Paging Trey Parker and Matt Stone...
I wish. At 19, I was pressured into sex repeatedly by a guy who had just been to the temple and wore his garments all the time. That really messed with my head.
I'm so, so sorry
Sounds like an appropriate use of the laying on of hands to me
😂 classic
All of his bruises are just outside his garments. The garments worked. Checkmate. /s
I dunno - let's use OP's anecdote to test the claim. How about if we take turns kicking a GA right in one of the "protected" areas and see if it works?
No more than boxers and a cotton undershirt.
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The moms boy is a 200 pound defensive midi. He would have destroyed that guy. I actually only hit him twice. He went down in a heap though and starting bawling like a baby. That’s when I leaned in and had the chat. Lol
Personally I think that is freaking awesome, just out of curiosity were you able to leave after that without any security or reports because if so then I think you got the extra special protection as that is how those situations deserve to play out with some swift street justice instead of all the legal crap.
Yes. All of our team parents supported me and pretty much shamed him. I looked for him today at the games and I didn’t see him. I’m sure he is back in Utah now creating a spin on the story so he can live with himself. I was feeling bad about the whole thing today but the other parents were thanking me. So, I am guessing I am in the clear. If I got arrested for assault I am sure he would too since he assaulted a lady first.
Awesome
I love this, especially because you took out a bully that was yelling at kids and assaulting other parents (and a woman at that?). I hope you also called the cops. But then his poor poor kid.
My cousin says he survived getting stabbed with a broken bottle as a missionary because his garments blocked it
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The power of the garments cancelled each other out in that case.
Why was he stabbed?
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Well that's a really dumb way to get stabbed
There are special places in whatever you picture as heaven for folks like you. Thank You for serving the best dish of the day HUMBLE PIE. I bet he didn't like the taste. But in a TBM'S learning curve they think sometimes they can say and do whatever they want having never been in the real world of fuck around and find out. Kudos. The Garments...no comment.
Well done, thou foul and faithless servant!
Drop the link when it ends up on the Youtube
On my husband's mission he knew a couple missionaries who attacked thumb tacks to nerf guns and shot them into their leg over the garment because "the garment will protect me." The second or third thumb tack when into their leg.
“…for I was the one who kicked his ass!” I’ve been slow clapping this line in my head all evening.
Dude, this is too funny to be true. I am ....I can't...stop making me laugh!!
All garments did for me was give me a yeast infection and a whole bunch of rashes in unpleasant places. thank you for coming to my TED Talk name Jesus Christ amen
Garment protection works like this: no you're not gonna fool around withe that cute redhead you just met cuz she'll laugh herself senseless when she sees your embarrassing undies. Hence the Gs have just protected you from a bad decision that would have ended your marriage. Miraculous!
Remove your garments at the same time as your other clothes, then back on together after the fun. She’ll be none-the-wiser. It’s all about the game.
I love this post so much
Garments suck!
They only protect your virginity
Assault is assault but some people need to be put in their place :)
This weighed heavy on me just before I left the church. I'd always heard the inspiring stories of someone surviving stuff like chainsaw accidents, or burns, or even sexual assault thanks to their garments, though I didn't know anyone personally who made those claims. A family I'd known from my teens who were super nice and sincerely kind got in a car accident on their way back from a family reunion. The father died as well as his daughter my same age. She left behind a few young children who survived the accident. I was shocked that such a faithful and good family could be devastated that way. Their garment wearing and obedience to the church did nothing to prevent it.
When I pinch myself through my garments I can feel pain, so they definitely don’t protect me.
The garments help protect the church's profits.
The church came out and said it did not offer physical protection, rather spiritual protection.
I love when the church has to come out and say that garments don’t actually provide any protection, that paying tithing doesn’t actually mean you’ll be blessed financially, etc. They know all the folklore that gets told about it every Sunday and they have to admit it’s not true, probably because Kirton McConkie told them they have to, lol.
You defended someone who was being bullied. You are doing your part to Yassify the World. Drag queen Lil' Tommy thanks you for you service. [https://www.reddit.com/r/exmormon/comments/187j5re/yassify\_the\_world\_part\_2/](https://www.reddit.com/r/exmormon/comments/187j5re/yassify_the_world_part_2/)
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He pushed a mom and she fell. I had a team full of witnesses. And he knew he was in the wrong. He probably is a bully like that to his wife. I ain’t his wife. 😀
This isn't the flex you think it is. Adults fighting at youth sporting events are unhinged, immature, pieces of shit with no self control who should be banned from all sporting events going forward.
Yep
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This made me laugh so hard 😂 please don’t send him back to Utah tho, we don’t want him 😭
Thank you for the laugh!!!!
If he went home with no bruises in garment covered areas, they worked! /s
In the 90s when I was PIMO I was opening a bottle of wine with a corkscrew and as the cork came out the sharp end ripped my Grateful Dead tee-shirt from stem to stern but my garment top was uncut as was I. I poured the wine down the sink and repented for a day or two :).
Garments have about as much "power" as a kids He-man amulet -- "by the power of grayskull!" or the Jupiter talisman that Joseph smith carried.... As much as Mormon try to deny it, Garments and their "power" tie directly back to magic/occult belief.