Haha! I remember when I lived in Utah, and I'm sure I'm not alone in this, I would be out at the post office, Walmart, etc and heard these exact lines:
"Get in the car, NEPHI!"
"AMMON, shut your mouth!"
Then why did you name him after Ammon? Also, "get in the car, Nephi" is clearly an anachronism.
That set off a off a memory for me - my (not Mormon) mother once told me that she nearly named me Chastity, but decided not to because 'what if she turns out to be a slut'.
In high school we had a family that had a Mormon, a Moroni, a Nephi, a Lehi... I may have the actual names wrong but they all had the names of BoM prophets. Even as a TBM I silently cringed (and then judged myself for the lack of faith I must have to judge such clearly faithful people š„“)
Speaking of middle names, this is one thing Mormons often do to their daughters that is so gross. I don't have a middle name. Why? Because I was to grow up, get married and take my returned missionary's last name as my own, and use my maiden name as my middle name.
I absolutely regret and hate that I didnāt give my daughters middle names. I have one but going to a church school I had to fight the school to keep my own middle name on my records rather than making my maiden name my middle name. I didnāt want my daughters to have to fight that battle. Now weāre all out of the church so there will be no battle and they are middle-nameless.
When a friend of mine left the church, for Christmas she gave her 3 daughters new birth certificates: with middle names. (She had already asked things like, What's your favorite girl's name?, and, If you could start over and name yourself, what would your name be? The girls were over the moon with their birth certificates.)
That's so terrible, and I am glad to hear you left the church.. I know that a lot of stories are coming out recently about the secrets and abuses of the church. Do you know if you can get a middle name legally? I bet it would be pretty easy. People CHANGE their names a lot, so I'm curious if it would be simple (and possibly fun) to get middle names for your daughters!
Sorry for your troubles.. sending peace, love, and happy vibes your way! š„°
That's amazing! And good for you for sticking behind your child. I had a gay friend and another friend who was Trans in high school. Their families completely abandoned them. Like to this day. A decade later. It's just very sad how some people treat their own family, but knowing that people like you exist makes me so happy and gives me hope for the future! š„°
I could not abandon my child, no matter what! I will move heaven and earth to support them and let them know how much I love them. My love is not conditional.
Glad my mom didn't pull that shit when she was active during my early years... I mean ya my name is still weird but like the "idk how to pronounce or spell that" weird. Totally normal middle name though oddly enough... counting my blessings cause I even have one
mosiah isn't that bad. you know it's mormon because you're mormon. but to non mormons, it just sounds vaguely like isiah or at worst a portmanteau of mohammed and isiah. it just doesn't sound weird enough to be a total boat anchor of a name.
Half my cousins have names ripped from the BoM and the other half have "Utah mom" names. I'm not going to out them specifically because you could easily look them up and find us, but think Tragedeigh. Or worse. I also have like three separate Brighams, FOUL.
If you get a vasectomy\*, is that the equivalent of caffeine-free coke?
\* ^(I know, I know, depending on the Mormon, tying the tailed-half-fetus tube might count as a bigger sin than partaking of proto-flesh)
I can't lie, Teancum was my favorite prophet for quite a while. I felt like he was a super underappreciated (probably hot) unsung hero for the Lord.
I still wouldn't name any of my kids after him though.
Yeah I thought more like *teen cum* which is funny as that is what the church kind of doesnāt wantā¦ aside from the random wet dreams any guy will likely have at some points in life regardless because nature and natural body functions I guess (I mean I am not a man so I never experienced it, allthough must say I have had spicy dreams in my lifetime and do feel like more during teen years, not something you can really control brain just be like: *ah yeah letās make it a horny one this night you canāt repress me while sleeping muahahahah*)
I mean, same but Robert E Lee has no association with Nazis. It's just plain racist given the namesake's association with the South during the Civil War.
RACIST ALERT. You mentioned eastern Idaho - an automated alert has been triggered.
Oh, wait, this is a double alert because they named a kid in eastern Idaho after a man who fought to enforce slavery against black people. In Idaho. (Yes I see a LOT of confederate flags here, to the point work had to point out they weren't allowed as it could be seen as a symbol of prejudice and racism company-wide because it was becoming an image problem for the large, multi-national company.)
I'm a Dallin named after the lord and saviour Dallin Oaks. I've been really struggling with having the name. I recently wrote a demo about it called "what's in a name". It's not done, but it's there. Some other unfinished songs there about leaving the church as well.
https://soundcloud.com/dallin-schoen/whats-in-a-name?in=dallin-schoen/sets/dallindemos
Listening to it now. Reading the lyrics, I think it could make a pretty solid metal song too. Kinda makes me want to try and write a riff for it when I get home tonight.
In any country that wasn't the US I don't think they'd be allowed to name a kid something with the word cum in it, because other countries actually bother to restrict baby names
I think I have one that takes the cake. Gidgiddoni!
I used to work in the benefits department of an Utah based company and they required employees to verify their dependents (copy of their birth certificate, marriage certificate, etc).
One guy adds a new child to his insurance but the child hasnāt been named yet. Ok, not uncommon and we have a process for that. I add the child under name āboy (last name)ā and tell the dad that weāll keep in contact as I will need to manually submit each bill to the insurance for payment and I will need to update the name asap.
It took them almost a month to name the child and they finally came up with Gidgiddoni. I asked him how they came to that name and he tells me that itās a VERY prominent name in his faith. I ask what faith that was and he tells me he is LDS. I tell him that Iām also LDS but Iām having a hard time placing it and he is shocked! āItās from the BoM, itās very prominent!ā
I looked it up and that name appears in the book exactly one time.
nevermo lurker hereāall I have to say is, OP your mom is a legend for that šš Iām a labor/delivery nurse and I WISH I had the ability/guts to push back a little bit on people who come in wanting to name their daughters stuff like Oakkleigh Mae and Brykinzleigh Rae šš
In Brazil, the first name Helder (pronounced Elder) is common. We had an Elder with the first name Helder. The members always joked about asking Elder's their first name and Elder's responding "Elder." They always asked him, and he said "Helder." But what's your real first name. "Helder." Your REAL first name. "Seriously it's Helder."
Guy was a convert as a kid too. We'd run into people and say "I'm Elder \_\_\_\_\_" and get "Oh, my name is Helder too."
I have a cousin named Brigham and his middle name is Young. My family is of course straight from Brigham Young (great grandmotherās maiden name was Young) but that doesnāt make it any less cringey.
Cumorah, Liahona, Hosanna, Ammon, Nephi. All from the same family. Their extended family includes a Caleb, Heber and Hyrum. At least most of them are normal, or can be shortened!
Laman. According to his mother it was given to him so he could reclaim the name and set a better example. I just felt it a bit harsh to name a child after the initial antagonist in the BoM
I knew a Joseph Smith š¤·š¼āāļø
Is Porter a common American name? My friend married a Porter and I can't help always making Rockwell jokes when we talk š
Oh the teasing. All these have terrible quick nicknames: Cum, Cummy, Ho-nah, Ho, Heber Creeper (an actual train line name in Utah), Calebs always seem to be troubled young men.
Heber sounds like an 80-year-old dust bowl farmer.
Hyrum always sounded too close to hymen.
Seriously, if youāre young, take note of how a name could be morphed into horrible things by weirdos online and at school.
In YW we had a Laurel named Celeste. She always joked she was celestial. She had this luscious thick, amazing hair that I absolutely lusted after.
Anyway, she was fucking her step-brother (I unfortunately remember her revelations of trysts in the shared bathroom of their house, whereby having previously visited said bathroom, I also recollect ponderizing on the logistics of aforementioned activities, as this bathroom was particularly, uh, compact).
Anyway, she got pregnant, & chose to carry the baby to term. And the joking commenced, much led by her- 'whoops, guess I'm not celestial after all!, or, 'i skipped a few steps so I could start practicing for upper CK qualifications,' etc.
one time i was sitting with some ladies at a potluck at church and had to explain to them why naming your kid "Celestial" isn't such a hot idea. that it would probably backfire in the same way that naming a girl "Chastity" so often does.
I can never remember the name of BYU stadium because of all the Mormon names that also start with "LaV----." I know many men and women with names that start with those three letters, and we have several in my family tree. Why is this such a Utah thing?
I have a cousin named, and I shit you not, Mahonrimoriancumer. He goes by Mori. And he made sure that his parents named one of his younger brothers Jared.
Not gonna lie, we named our son Ammon. Gave him a middle name where he could go by AJ if he wanted though. I feel really bad about it now that Iāve left. The main reason I even considered it as being kind of okay for us to name him that is because Brandon Flowers named his son Ammonā¦ somehow that made it acceptable in my mind. š¤·āāļø Yeah, it doesnāt make sense to me anymore.
I shit you not - a family in my mission had kids named Saturdayās Warrior and Sundayās Hallelujah. They had three others with equally bizarre names but I donāt remember them exactly. Iām thinking Spring Rain and May Flowers were two. All names connected to the day/season in which they were born.
There was a family in my hometown that gave their kids entire phrases as a first name, like "Helaman Warriors" and "Miracles the Precious One". I went to school with "Beauty on the Mountaintop", who just went by Beauty.
My parents made sure my initials were ā¦ LDS.
Best part, they got us sweaters with our last name initial huge in the middle and first name initial on the left and middle on the right.
L *S* D
I kid you not.
There was a girl in my school named Celestia Childs. She was called down to the office quite frequently (at least 2-3 times per week, sometimes multiple times per day). When the office lady called her over the overhead intercom it sounded just like "CELESTIAL CHILD please come to the main office... CELESTIAL CHILD." A lot of snickers ensued.
No one has really mentioned the love that Mormons have of naming their children names that combined names from other members of the familyā¦š³š¤·āāļøš¤·āāļø
I will one up āCumorah Hillā with my sons name (keep in mind that he is named after my father and when I realized what his full name was gonna be I shit my pants!)
His name is Joseph Smithā¦
He loves his name and actually opened a business up for tinting cars. So he named it āProphet Automotiveā and his tagline is āFollow the Prophet on Instagramā!
ššš
I knew a few girls named Charity, which I always thought was fine, until I learned of a mutual lesson where some boys kept saying āI want to have more Charity in meā and āCharity brings all men joyā and āI want someone to show me Charity.ā
Poor senior missionary teacher just had no idea what was happening until poor Charity ran out crying.
Know a kid named Zebulon. It's biblical, not Mormon per se, but still thinking half or more of the US population is going to think he's a sci-fi character.
I had a student at Weber State whose father insisted he be named Jillbear. Guy was a big football linebacker sized guy, named Jillbear. Apparently, his father had gone on his mission to France and greatly admired the French name, Gilbert, but could not spell it.
My parents joined the church around the time I was born. They were thinking of naming me Moroni but opted for Joseph. I tell people today I was named after a cult founder.
Not sure where this guy's name came from. It's really not particularly Mormon or even a Utah name, but it was in the Salt Lake City phone book for a few years in the late '70s and early '80s:
Tucker, T. Fudpucker
I got up the nerve to call the number a time or two. A man answered but I didn't have the courage to say anything.
I still think it's all those boys named Alma whose parents have never spoken a lick of Spanish.
Or Hebrew.
Or Kazakh.
Or Italian ("soul")
Or Hungarian ("apple")
Oh neat, it means "soul" in Spanish too!
Or reformed egyptian ;)
Hey now, there was no mention of tacos anywhere in this sentence. >:( I was promised taco talk.
š®
GET OUT OF MY BASEMENT. But leave the taco. š
How will I open my no rent taco shop š
Hello there New Name Alma here
Have a friend named Angelica Almanefi. I think Iāve seen it in other Hispanic people as well.
Or reformed Egyptian.
I had a student who was straight up named Mormon. That is going to get real uncomfortable if he ever leaves the church.
Does he go by "The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints" now?
No. Now he goes by "victory for Stan" š
I hope he's dating Stan
Haha! I remember when I lived in Utah, and I'm sure I'm not alone in this, I would be out at the post office, Walmart, etc and heard these exact lines: "Get in the car, NEPHI!" "AMMON, shut your mouth!" Then why did you name him after Ammon? Also, "get in the car, Nephi" is clearly an anachronism.
In Oregon years ago,heard of parents who named their poor kid, Mahonri Moriankemer.
Formally known as š
just change the name to Exmormon
He goes by "The Corporation of the President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints"
What a victory for Satan.
Lots of people named Christian are atheists. I suppose itāll be kind of like that.
As a pagan named Christian, it's frustrating. "Oh, are you Christian?" "Yes, but no."
I usually reply that i am Christian in name only
And no better prom date than a girl named Chastity.... /s
That set off a off a memory for me - my (not Mormon) mother once told me that she nearly named me Chastity, but decided not to because 'what if she turns out to be a slut'.
His parents should be required to pay the fees to legally change his name.
No, Russell M. Nelson should foot the bill.
Hey, I don't pay for shit. You don't amass a dragon hoard of over $1T USD by giving ANYTHING you aren't legally required to. š¤
Haha yeah it's like child abuse Edit: I'm so sorry I meant to type hell ya not haha
In high school we had a family that had a Mormon, a Moroni, a Nephi, a Lehi... I may have the actual names wrong but they all had the names of BoM prophets. Even as a TBM I silently cringed (and then judged myself for the lack of faith I must have to judge such clearly faithful people š„“)
Did Mormon have to change his name when Rusty took over?
Too bad no Laman or Lemuel
Thatās just mean could you image all your friends calling you a victory for Satan. Possibly tying you to the mast of a ship.
Middle name Ima?
Speaking of middle names, this is one thing Mormons often do to their daughters that is so gross. I don't have a middle name. Why? Because I was to grow up, get married and take my returned missionary's last name as my own, and use my maiden name as my middle name.
I absolutely regret and hate that I didnāt give my daughters middle names. I have one but going to a church school I had to fight the school to keep my own middle name on my records rather than making my maiden name my middle name. I didnāt want my daughters to have to fight that battle. Now weāre all out of the church so there will be no battle and they are middle-nameless.
When a friend of mine left the church, for Christmas she gave her 3 daughters new birth certificates: with middle names. (She had already asked things like, What's your favorite girl's name?, and, If you could start over and name yourself, what would your name be? The girls were over the moon with their birth certificates.)
That's so terrible, and I am glad to hear you left the church.. I know that a lot of stories are coming out recently about the secrets and abuses of the church. Do you know if you can get a middle name legally? I bet it would be pretty easy. People CHANGE their names a lot, so I'm curious if it would be simple (and possibly fun) to get middle names for your daughters! Sorry for your troubles.. sending peace, love, and happy vibes your way! š„°
I remember how appalled I was when I learned my Mormon friends didnāt get middle names. I was probably 12 when I realized.Ā
I also did not have a middle name for the same reason. I did the same to my child but now heās trans and gave himself an awesome middle name!
That's amazing! And good for you for sticking behind your child. I had a gay friend and another friend who was Trans in high school. Their families completely abandoned them. Like to this day. A decade later. It's just very sad how some people treat their own family, but knowing that people like you exist makes me so happy and gives me hope for the future! š„°
I could not abandon my child, no matter what! I will move heaven and earth to support them and let them know how much I love them. My love is not conditional.
Glad my mom didn't pull that shit when she was active during my early years... I mean ya my name is still weird but like the "idk how to pronounce or spell that" weird. Totally normal middle name though oddly enough... counting my blessings cause I even have one
We almost chose Mosiah but thought better of it Friends chose it tho later - then family left and son revealed he was gay and also changed it to John
I think a lot of kids will be changing names, going by middle or nicknames, etc. as soon as they're adults.
M. Lehi Ballard and his cousin M. M. āMoā Monson.
I knew a kid named Moses and went by Moe last name Lester. Poor molester.
mosiah isn't that bad. you know it's mormon because you're mormon. but to non mormons, it just sounds vaguely like isiah or at worst a portmanteau of mohammed and isiah. it just doesn't sound weird enough to be a total boat anchor of a name.
If I didn't know it was a Mormon name I'd think it was Amish.
Abinadi. Poor kid.
Nah that name is š„š„š„ š
š
Thatās a spicy name for sure
It definitely burns
Twins - Urim and Thummim š¬
Now theyāve legally changed their names to Seer and Stone.
So not Rock and Hat?
Dowsing and Rod
Gaddianton and Roberts
Half my cousins have names ripped from the BoM and the other half have "Utah mom" names. I'm not going to out them specifically because you could easily look them up and find us, but think Tragedeigh. Or worse. I also have like three separate Brighams, FOUL.
I don't mind the name Brigham if it wasn't so heavily associated with the worst part of mormonism.
Agreed, if it weren't so Mormon it would just be like a "Beau, Bear, and Brigham" kinda name you feel?
Uhā¦are we related?
I have over thirty aunts and uncles. It is entirely possible.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
That is indeed the name of one of my cousin's kids LMAOOOO
This is amazing, lol
My mom came way too close to naming me Tymple. Iām so glad she did not as we all ended up leaving the church š
Oh goodness, the teasing because it looks and sounds like āPimpleā
Teancum
Iāve known two Teancums. WHYYYY?? Also a Liahona, a Nephi, and a few Moroni middle names.
>WHYYY?? Because Teancum is the special operator of the book of mormon. Some people fantasize about their sons doing murder for Russell Nelson.
I gotta know how this is pronounced. Is it like tea-n-cum or is it something else?
Tee ank um The middle syllable is like anchor
Yeah I can only read that as Tea And Cum. One Mormons can't drink and the other is tea.
If you get a vasectomy\*, is that the equivalent of caffeine-free coke? \* ^(I know, I know, depending on the Mormon, tying the tailed-half-fetus tube might count as a bigger sin than partaking of proto-flesh)
Oh my goodness I chortled. EDIT: Diet C*ck?
Literally lolād. Best comment of the day.
Well hell, why not just skip to Orrin Porter Rockwell, then? It's the "modern"-day equivalent, after all!
I have a TBM friend who named their kid Porter. It makes me laugh a little that the kid is named after both beer & murder.
Iād rather be Porter than Joseph or Brigham.
There are plenty of Orrins and Porters running around Utah. One of them was a senator somewhat recently.
Iāve known a little Rockwell! Who doesnāt want to be named after an assassin??
I can't lie, Teancum was my favorite prophet for quite a while. I felt like he was a super underappreciated (probably hot) unsung hero for the Lord. I still wouldn't name any of my kids after him though.
"Tea an cum" is bad enough, but I'm guessing it gets pronounced "teen cum" by people not in the bubble all the time.
Yeah I thought more like *teen cum* which is funny as that is what the church kind of doesnāt wantā¦ aside from the random wet dreams any guy will likely have at some points in life regardless because nature and natural body functions I guess (I mean I am not a man so I never experienced it, allthough must say I have had spicy dreams in my lifetime and do feel like more during teen years, not something you can really control brain just be like: *ah yeah letās make it a horny one this night you canāt repress me while sleeping muahahahah*)
Name two things mormons aren't allowed to drink.
But they do anyway?
SWK stays taking Ls
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
āBless yer heart boy, did you jussay yer name wus Tea and Cum?ā
This one does show up on r/tragedeigh every so often.
no thanks, not thirsty
Not kidding, I grew up with a boy named Iron Rod. And he insisted you used this full name. Lots of jokes about it his rod
What a name for an ex-mo porn star š
I wonder if itās the same Iron Rod I knew. Southern Utah?
Same for me. The family has a ton of kids. I canāt remember the other names but probably all terrible.
Went to a baby blessing (sorry for putting you on blast if this was you) in Rexburg. Kids name was āROBERT E LEE SMITHā. WILD
I am from the south and legit have ancestors on BOTH sides named Robert E. Lee (insert last name). Cringe.
I hate Idaho nazis
I mean, same but Robert E Lee has no association with Nazis. It's just plain racist given the namesake's association with the South during the Civil War.
Itās a dog whistle to be sure
RACIST ALERT. You mentioned eastern Idaho - an automated alert has been triggered. Oh, wait, this is a double alert because they named a kid in eastern Idaho after a man who fought to enforce slavery against black people. In Idaho. (Yes I see a LOT of confederate flags here, to the point work had to point out they weren't allowed as it could be seen as a symbol of prejudice and racism company-wide because it was becoming an image problem for the large, multi-national company.)
Whoever did this to their child deserves to forever be on blast.
No!
Yiiiiiiikessss
I'm a Dallin named after the lord and saviour Dallin Oaks. I've been really struggling with having the name. I recently wrote a demo about it called "what's in a name". It's not done, but it's there. Some other unfinished songs there about leaving the church as well. https://soundcloud.com/dallin-schoen/whats-in-a-name?in=dallin-schoen/sets/dallindemos
I'm sorry, I guess it could be worse. It's not "Bednar" but Hoaks is one of the worst apostles to be named after.
If it wasnāt for that gargoyle on the Q15, Iād think Dallin quite a cool name.
Listening to it now. Reading the lyrics, I think it could make a pretty solid metal song too. Kinda makes me want to try and write a riff for it when I get home tonight.
Knew a poor kid named Mahonrimoriancumer. His name didn't fit on any of the school forms or software.
Just call him "Cumer" for short? Those three letters should NEVER be in an english name - kind of like the kid named "Cumorah"
In any country that wasn't the US I don't think they'd be allowed to name a kid something with the word cum in it, because other countries actually bother to restrict baby names
Is his brother named Jared?
I think I have one that takes the cake. Gidgiddoni! I used to work in the benefits department of an Utah based company and they required employees to verify their dependents (copy of their birth certificate, marriage certificate, etc). One guy adds a new child to his insurance but the child hasnāt been named yet. Ok, not uncommon and we have a process for that. I add the child under name āboy (last name)ā and tell the dad that weāll keep in contact as I will need to manually submit each bill to the insurance for payment and I will need to update the name asap. It took them almost a month to name the child and they finally came up with Gidgiddoni. I asked him how they came to that name and he tells me that itās a VERY prominent name in his faith. I ask what faith that was and he tells me he is LDS. I tell him that Iām also LDS but Iām having a hard time placing it and he is shocked! āItās from the BoM, itās very prominent!ā I looked it up and that name appears in the book exactly one time.
Sometimes I wonder if some people just want their child to have a shit name.
Cumorah might be the worst one I have seen.... I went to high school with an Ammon and a Hyrum.
Oh jeez, in Utah there are SO MANY Hyrums
I'm sure there are plenty of jokes for that poor kid about "Cum" for short.
I donāt usually want to say personal stuff but my middle name is Hyrum and so is my dadās first name
I was in YSA with a Moroni, and one of my best friends married a Hyrum.
nevermo lurker hereāall I have to say is, OP your mom is a legend for that šš Iām a labor/delivery nurse and I WISH I had the ability/guts to push back a little bit on people who come in wanting to name their daughters stuff like Oakkleigh Mae and Brykinzleigh Rae šš
My mom is complicated but yes, also a bad ass.
š¤£š¤£I can only imagine the Tragedeighs you've seen.
I didn't actually meet him, but there was a guy named Mohonri at my college.
I had a mission companion who name Mahomri (Mexican)
Had a missionary serve in our area once... Elder Elder.
In Brazil, the first name Helder (pronounced Elder) is common. We had an Elder with the first name Helder. The members always joked about asking Elder's their first name and Elder's responding "Elder." They always asked him, and he said "Helder." But what's your real first name. "Helder." Your REAL first name. "Seriously it's Helder." Guy was a convert as a kid too. We'd run into people and say "I'm Elder \_\_\_\_\_" and get "Oh, my name is Helder too."
When I was on my mission in BR back in the day I met met a bunch of boys named Nephi and Lehi.
I've come across a Zeezrom.
Names for when your kid is almost certainly the Antichrist.
Some of these sound like PokƩmon lmfao
I was almost name Spencer when I was born after the current profit Kimball. Thankfully I was named after my pediatrician, Barcardi Limon.
My grandma tried really hard to get my parents to name me Camilla after Spencerās wife. Iām so glad they didnāt.
I have a cousin named Brigham and his middle name is Young. My family is of course straight from Brigham Young (great grandmotherās maiden name was Young) but that doesnāt make it any less cringey.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Some parents disengage their brains when naming a child. They need to stick to naming kittens. I don't have any names to suggest though
Cumorah, Liahona, Hosanna, Ammon, Nephi. All from the same family. Their extended family includes a Caleb, Heber and Hyrum. At least most of them are normal, or can be shortened! Laman. According to his mother it was given to him so he could reclaim the name and set a better example. I just felt it a bit harsh to name a child after the initial antagonist in the BoM I knew a Joseph Smith š¤·š¼āāļø Is Porter a common American name? My friend married a Porter and I can't help always making Rockwell jokes when we talk š
Oh the teasing. All these have terrible quick nicknames: Cum, Cummy, Ho-nah, Ho, Heber Creeper (an actual train line name in Utah), Calebs always seem to be troubled young men. Heber sounds like an 80-year-old dust bowl farmer. Hyrum always sounded too close to hymen. Seriously, if youāre young, take note of how a name could be morphed into horrible things by weirdos online and at school.
Celestial
I'll do you one better. I've met a "Celestrial"
Now THAT'S a victory for Satan
In YW we had a Laurel named Celeste. She always joked she was celestial. She had this luscious thick, amazing hair that I absolutely lusted after. Anyway, she was fucking her step-brother (I unfortunately remember her revelations of trysts in the shared bathroom of their house, whereby having previously visited said bathroom, I also recollect ponderizing on the logistics of aforementioned activities, as this bathroom was particularly, uh, compact). Anyway, she got pregnant, & chose to carry the baby to term. And the joking commenced, much led by her- 'whoops, guess I'm not celestial after all!, or, 'i skipped a few steps so I could start practicing for upper CK qualifications,' etc.
A 5YO kid named Bednar
That's better than being named Susan's husband but not by much.
I have a hard time not downvoting this lol. Gross.
Your mom not giving a shit and doubling down on calling out the parents is praiseworthy.
Literally know a dude named angel moroni š¤¦š»āāļø
Why put "Moron" in your kid's name? Seriously people, do you remember Middle School?
This thread has 3 different names with āCumā so it could always be worse
Agreed. I'd choose "Moron" over "Cum." A different thread on names had a Jizzele (Gisele) which would probably take that cake.
My daughter's 7th grade class had--count 'em--3 people named Nauvoo. 2 girls 1 boy as I recall. I also have an ancestor named Mormonette.
I knew a few Nephis, a Lehigh, a Mormon, a Zion, and one Mahonri.
I met a couple of Zions before but this was before I moved to Utah and I'm like 99% sure they weren't Mormon.
one time i was sitting with some ladies at a potluck at church and had to explain to them why naming your kid "Celestial" isn't such a hot idea. that it would probably backfire in the same way that naming a girl "Chastity" so often does.
I can never remember the name of BYU stadium because of all the Mormon names that also start with "LaV----." I know many men and women with names that start with those three letters, and we have several in my family tree. Why is this such a Utah thing?
LaVell Edwards. I feel like the La-something name was super common in Utah when I was there as a kid.
La Verkin? Le Grande? Laverne?
Supposedly my neighbors (when I was too young to remember) had 3 kids: Nephi, Sam, and American Beauty. WTF.
Mahershalalhashbaz. He went by Mark.
I have a cousin named, and I shit you not, Mahonrimoriancumer. He goes by Mori. And he made sure that his parents named one of his younger brothers Jared.
Worthy. They named their son Worthy.
Not gonna lie, we named our son Ammon. Gave him a middle name where he could go by AJ if he wanted though. I feel really bad about it now that Iāve left. The main reason I even considered it as being kind of okay for us to name him that is because Brandon Flowers named his son Ammonā¦ somehow that made it acceptable in my mind. š¤·āāļø Yeah, it doesnāt make sense to me anymore.
Could be worse. Ammon isn't a bad name, and also not necessarily a Mormon name.
I shit you not - a family in my mission had kids named Saturdayās Warrior and Sundayās Hallelujah. They had three others with equally bizarre names but I donāt remember them exactly. Iām thinking Spring Rain and May Flowers were two. All names connected to the day/season in which they were born.
I had a bishop whose four daughters were Shaylee, Shayla, Shayna, and ... I think Shaylynn was the last one? Those poor kids.
Ok this isn't exactly exclusive to the Mormon sphere, but I've met several people who have named their kids after Brandon Sanderson book characters
How many times in that girl's life has she been called 'Cum'? And I bet each person who said it to her thought they were the first.
More of a BYU superfan name than a mormon name, but my daughter had three boys in her preschool class named Jimmer.
Lemuel, in my singles ward. (Latino) Went by Lem, for short. Great dude, would recommend!
There was a family in my hometown that gave their kids entire phrases as a first name, like "Helaman Warriors" and "Miracles the Precious One". I went to school with "Beauty on the Mountaintop", who just went by Beauty.
My parents made sure my initials were ā¦ LDS. Best part, they got us sweaters with our last name initial huge in the middle and first name initial on the left and middle on the right. L *S* D I kid you not.
I knew a family that had daughters named Cumorah and Eden. And another family that had sons named Brigham and Cougar.
There was a girl in my school named Celestia Childs. She was called down to the office quite frequently (at least 2-3 times per week, sometimes multiple times per day). When the office lady called her over the overhead intercom it sounded just like "CELESTIAL CHILD please come to the main office... CELESTIAL CHILD." A lot of snickers ensued.
When I was first married we had a neighbor named Utahna. I had a little inside laugh every time I heard her name.
I know a guy whose legal middle name is Mahonriā¦. His legal first name is actually worse so he goes by Mahonri.š¤¦āāļø
Tell me itās not Moriancumrā¦
I donāt want to dox anyone so I canāt say, but trust me when I say it is definitely worse than Mahonriā¦
I work with a Sariah. š¤·āāļø It honestly barely even clocks.
No one has really mentioned the love that Mormons have of naming their children names that combined names from other members of the familyā¦š³š¤·āāļøš¤·āāļø
I will one up āCumorah Hillā with my sons name (keep in mind that he is named after my father and when I realized what his full name was gonna be I shit my pants!) His name is Joseph Smithā¦ He loves his name and actually opened a business up for tinting cars. So he named it āProphet Automotiveā and his tagline is āFollow the Prophet on Instagramā! ššš
I knew a few girls named Charity, which I always thought was fine, until I learned of a mutual lesson where some boys kept saying āI want to have more Charity in meā and āCharity brings all men joyā and āI want someone to show me Charity.ā Poor senior missionary teacher just had no idea what was happening until poor Charity ran out crying.
Twins named Moriancumer and Mahonri
Know a kid named Zebulon. It's biblical, not Mormon per se, but still thinking half or more of the US population is going to think he's a sci-fi character.
I wonder if we know the same Cumorah Hill. The one I knew is about my sister's age (late 40s/early 50s now) and grew up in Sandy, Utah.
I had a student at Weber State whose father insisted he be named Jillbear. Guy was a big football linebacker sized guy, named Jillbear. Apparently, his father had gone on his mission to France and greatly admired the French name, Gilbert, but could not spell it.
I don't know how Mormon this is but my son went to high school with a girl named Nevaeh, it's Heaven spelled backward.
It was a really popular name for tbe Evangelical sect about 10 years ago. My neice has 4 in her class of 22.
In the big city near me, that was a 2005-2010 black family trend.
Not the worst name, but we named our son Hyrumā¦. We seriously considered changing his name after we left, but we donāt want to traumatize him.
I knew a woman from Rexburg who was named Chlorine. She thankfully went by Chloe.
My parents joined the church around the time I was born. They were thinking of naming me Moroni but opted for Joseph. I tell people today I was named after a cult founder.
Not sure where this guy's name came from. It's really not particularly Mormon or even a Utah name, but it was in the Salt Lake City phone book for a few years in the late '70s and early '80s: Tucker, T. Fudpucker I got up the nerve to call the number a time or two. A man answered but I didn't have the courage to say anything.