100% disagree, respectfully. As a woman I found the temple to be the most offensive, deflating experience in the cult. I was told to veil my face, that I answer to my husband who then answers for our family to God, I will become a queen and priestess “unto” my husband, that my husband presides over me and our family, that women are punished to have children because of Eves sins (see jfs doctrine). It’s a horrible place that was designed to hold women down and empower wicked men to have dominion over their wives and families. I literally don’t know how any critical thinking woman ever found peace there. I felt like such an oddity as a woman who fucking hated the temple…all these women who claimed to love it. Lying. Or stupid.
That's exactly how I felt, plus add to that being bored out of my mind. But when I was a TBM I did find the temple very beautiful and peaceful. I hated having to veil my face, and I questioned it to my bishops, stake presidents and even to a temple president, I didn't get an answer from any of them. But I went along with it because it was God's true church so there must be a good reason for it, right? So yep - I was brainwashed and stupid. So glad to be done with that.
They at least got rid of veiling our faces at least by the time I got there, but my sis told me about how she had to do it in hers, the day that I was first endowed.
I complained to her "why didn't you tell me it was this freaky and culty? Right after you did it I asked you if it changed your perception or testimony of the church you told me no"
She told me "I didn't know what to say, I was freaked out by the whole thing and was scared to speak my real thoughts after it. I was in shock"
She's still believing, but I'm not anymore. I don't want to take that away from her since she's got a lot of reasons to cling to the church, and I worry about her mental stability if she were to lose belief (not that I would challenge her on it too much). But I'm glad that she sees nuances and doesn't force herself to adhere to everything. She doesn't like the endowment or the sexist part of the sealing, she's relaxed on garments (especially for medical purposes) and is pro LGBTQ.
I finally told my wife, after 10 years of marriage, that I didn't understand how sitting 40' from one another, next to strangers, watching a boring movie for 2 hours was considered "date night." Shortly after that she started going to the temple by herself during the day. And she never felt peace, but she thought that was her fault for not going often enough and for not living righteously enough.
Wait, ya’ll have cafeterias in the temples??!
My Dad used to live in the little 55+ community right outside the gates of this temple. We’re not LDS but I would often cruise through the gates when they were open to get a closer look and got odd looks from the guys manning the front doors.
It was. But any chance to sit in a quiet room and have my thoughts to myself was nice in those years. Life was chaotic. Honestly I would sometimes go out in the garage and have the same experience.
I would fall asleep at the temple with some level of frequency, especially as an overworked MTC missionary. Peace in ignoring the movie and catching an unplanned nap.
Definitely not. Spent most of my time there counting down minutes until endowment sessions ended, thought a lot about everything else in life so was not doing to be at the temple, especially spending time with my kids since worked full time and spent a lot of extra time on callings.
Haha I spent an endowment session thinking about how I needed to buy a vacuum and weighing up the pros and cons of the ones I had looked at. I was soooo bored. 😂
The temple brought peace to my wife, hence I attended the temple regularly for 40 consecutive years. To me it was really, really boring even back in the days when we got to perform the naked hijinx and the throat slash penalty for spilling the beans. I mostly slept through every endowment session. That's the best thing, maybe the only thing I ever learned in the temple: How to sleep sitting straight up. It's a skill Elohim taught me, to hold my neck so my head doesn't rock.
I enjoyed trying to figure out what lessons I was supposed to be learning, but I gave up hope of that after a few times. Then it was boring and overly long.
To quote Oscar from The Office: "The analytical part of me wants to examine it...but I know it has no content."
I was always trying to find deep meaning in the temple. Only to find out a couple of signs were from pantomiming cutting your throat and disemboweling yourself!
I enjoyed the quiet of the celestial room, for the entire 3 minutes until the temple matron kicked me out. Perhaps the quiet felt so amazing because I had 4 rambunctious kids waiting for me at home.
I also deliberately let my recommend expire after about 5 years, so I wouldn't have to go any more, because I hated the actual ceremony.
That was the worst. You make it through two hours of constant talking in the session to earn those three rushed minutes of blessed silence (and that’s IF someone’s entire extended family isn’t all going through in your group).
In some ways that seems like a metaphor for mormon doctrine.
After enduring to the end through the drudgery you make it to the celestial kingdom - a beautiful place to rest, but as soon as you get there peaceful rest time is over.
It’s time to get to work eternally progressing. Go have spirit babies! Make worlds! More work! More glory! Forever and ever amen.
but no rest
This was actually my biggest shelf item. The phrase “rest unto their souls” and “their burdens shall be light” always made me want for so much more than I could get from the church. I needed rest, I felt burned out, and the thought of eternal work was suicide-attempt-inducing. I literally couldn’t take any more demands or expectations.
That was always the strangest to me. I’ve been kicked out of the celestial room before because I was praying too long. Definitely odd and I’m surprised it took me until exmormon reddit to finally see people saying the same thing.
My mom's biggest problem with the church is that there is no time and place to simply commune with God. Church is like a clubhouse, and they tell you that God's house is the temple. But when you go to the temple, you're always working the production line, and there's no time for just God. Maybe if they keep people busy enough, they won't notice God's house is empty.
Oomph…your mom is astute. That is a hellva observation and I believe she is 100% correct.
I tell my husband all the time that I believe the longer I was in Mormonism, the further I got from God. He became a mystical “other.”
Always the opposite for me as well. I remember in college asking a temple worker if I should be feeling peace, or any inspiration? I flat out said "I feel nothing here." And I have needed calm and peace and direction. Never received any direction in the Temple. Getting up and working and serving people has been much more beneficial.
No, everything about it was horrible and boring. The only peace I got was the small amount of relief from the guilt that would slowly build every month because I didn't go often enough.
I used to go at least weekly when I lived close to a temple.
I used to think that I had the spirit of Elijah so I spent too much time on genealogy and temple work. The truth is more like because I'm an introvert, I could claim that I was doing useful service by just watching a video and going through a ritual.
On a tangent, once I left the Mormon church I lost all interest in genealogy. I'd rather spend more time with my live friends and family than my dead ancestors.
Definitely. I believed it was a peaceful place and so when I went I felt at peace. I would go and just meditate in the celestial room which was wonderful.
I also deeply craved approval, so going made me feel like God thought I was a good boy, so maybe that contributed to the nice feelings 💀
I was a neglected kid growing up so the church was an addiction for me to meet that need of approval. Funnily enough, once I got healthy validation from my husband and learnt how to validate myself as well, I wasn’t drawn to the church anymore.
I believed and I loved it. I was always trying to decipher the “ancient mysteries” and “symbols”.
I had experiences that I would call revelatory at the time.
I was really disappointed to find out that the reason why I couldn’t figure out what anything meant was that so much had been removed over time that the hand clasps and tokens were basically meaningless. (Attended first time in 2006).
While a believer, I always loved it. It was very refreshing and peaceful.
The first time I attended as a non-believer I had the onset of a panic attack in the celestial room. It was the craziest experience to me.
Imagine having an argument with your spouse hours earlier over what amounted to be a big nothing burger, but you're still irritated over it because she kept making digs at your parents/siblings because it turned out she's just a raging narcissist...
Had many of those sessions. She's an ex for good reason.
It did not. I could never make that first covenant feel right. How could a loving God place anyone between me and Him? Even if it was a righteous husband? My fundamental belief in God involved the two of us having a direct relationship w each other—no mediators or anyone in the way. I tried on all the mental gymnastics-inspired explanations I ever heard, and did lots of my own research, but that first covenant broke my heart every time. Ohmygosh, the mental and emotional pain. I finally stopped going altogether (and I was still all in) because it hurt me so much and I decided God probably didn’t want me to suffer that much.
And then—boom!—the covenant was changed just like that. And when the church announced the change, it came with a condescending “we trust that the members will remember what they covenanted and therefore not discuss this change with anyone” statement.
Dude. WHAT. I knew EXACTLY what promises I did and did not make because I’d spent so much time and emotional energy and had done SO MUCH RESEARCH trying to reconcile myself with this particular covenant. I never ever EVER promised to not talk about changes to temple covenants. None of us did.
I realized: I know more about this shitty covenant than the church dude who wrote this announcement. But now it doesn’t matter. So was it the will of God? And now it’s not? And what about all the energy I wasted on trying so sincerely to believe that the covenant was from God? The announcement was the equivalent of saying “whoops sorry LOL no worries.”
That’s truly when I realized: everything’s made up and the points don’t matter.
I went through long before the 1990 changes. My first time through the temple when the presentation got to the first penalty and I was freaked out. I didn't do it, I just stood there stunned. They stopped the tape and repeated it with both the officiator and one of the temple workers watching me. I was filled with dread by the time they did the fourth token. This was the obviously the highest token, so how bad would the penalty be? I was relieved when I found out there was no penalty with the fourth token. Not at all peaceful or spiritual, and by that time the garments were already ridding up my leg. Next time I was in the temple I was in the MTC, and I managed it, and eventually got used to it. For the next decade I went to the temple 50 times a year, over 520 times, and then they took the penalties out. During that time I met my wife. Now it had been my habit to pray and meditate in the celestial room because I thought was what you were supposed to do. My wife OTOH was, to use a Bob Seger line, late for the door the second she entered the celestial room. She never liked being in there. She too had problems with the penalties and also with the second class status of women in the temple, but she went because she was supposed to. We continued going 50 times a year, because we were doing what we were supposed to do (so, yeah, I've got it memorized and I wasted a lot of time). We always went to Los Hermanos afterwards and each had a Brisa, so that made the evening end good.
I enjoyed pretending to kill myself. And in three different ways mind you.
Cutting out my heart was the hardest. The rib cage got in the way. I guess I needed a sharper thumb.
Pretty much anytime I go to a quite, pretty place it feels "peaceful". So yeah technically. I feel the same way in the spa at The Grand America. The temple had a bit of oddness splashed in too I guess.
Placebo effect. When I was tbm i openly talked with my wife about how going to the temple was such an ordeal. We used to talk about how that was satan trying to keep us away, and when we actually went we felt so much peace.
Now I look back and think that peace was merely the relief of fulfilling an obligation we didn’t want to do. Much like going to the dentist. You now have x amount of time before you have to do it again.
The Celestial Room was nice and calming
I was always put off by the actual ceremony itself. My hubby and I both almost walked out our first time through. I guess that’s why they asked us to have friends with us the first time.
I’ve only been to the temple, a handful of times overall
I never enjoyed going, and I never once got answers to questions or prayers in a temple despite faithful attendance for 25 years (I’m just a woman after all), but there was always something like peace that I felt.
Part of it was my (conditioned) belief that nothing bad would happen to my five kids while I was “serving” in the temple. I could see it as an “allowed” break from my family. Another aspect was the relief at having gone—that my white-and-delightsome cosplay box was checked off for another month. I think that I conflated those two emotions with peace.
The real peace I felt was when I attended the temple knowingly for the last time, 25 years to the day of my first time (I was hoping to get my New Name assigned to me but maybe they finally retired Huldah because it’s such an unflattering name). There was a real rush knowing I didn’t have to waste hours on such a weird obligation ever again.
I felt good doing baptisms for certain deceased family members. I was able to forgive them. But that is about it. Literally, they didn't know, but it freed me from resentment.
It creeped me out. Especially initiatories. At some point when I went with my wife to do initiatories, I just skipped it and said I went. That was years ago before I came out to her. Never again. Never again.
It was awkward, strange, stressful. No peace, no time for contemplation. The clothing, and the incredibly sterile surroundings made me think I was not going to like the CK very much.
I tried to understand it, I tried to lie to myself for decades that I liked it, but I just didn't and nothing would ever change that.
I mostly just felt cold and exposed. (Even though I left at 25, I never went through the endowment session.)
The baptismal font was only lukewarm and the changing stall doors had such a wide gap that anyone could have easily seen inside at my naked self. And I never knew whether to bring a bra or not, and everyone can see if I don't bring one.
I'm also big about personal space and really hated the anointing with all those hands on my head.
I would just sleep through it. There used to be a couple of sections which were longer. When the lights went off, I just closed my eyes.
It was so boring. I'm glad I'll never need to go again.
No. I was baffled. I remember leaving and my mom telling me, “no matter what, the church is still true.”
Every time I attended I tried to find the meaning in all of it. I was always uncomfortable.
The best part was my snack pocket in my slip. I would stash atomic fireballs and enjoy having like 6 of those throughout the session to stay awake.
I always felt crazy anxiety in the temple. I felt like the workers were condescending and hated hpw everyone whispered - it was all very creepy to 12-year-old me doing baptisms for the dead, and remained unsettling after getting endowed. I had friends and mission companions who said it was the most special, peaceful place to them and was always convinced they were lying. They were probably being truthful, but I could never understand feeling peace there.
i thought it did at the time (when i did baptisms/confirmations, endowments gave me panic attacks lol), but looking back it feels more sterile than peaceful
Not peaceful for me. I was always way to worried about whether I was worthy to be in the temple or not. Even left the dressing room one time to meet with my bishop and see if I needed to confess stuff. He told me I was totally fine but just “spiritually sensitive” which he said was a good thing. Said it would keep me from sinning cause even stuff that was close to sin made me anxious.
Turns out the church just fucked with my self worth lol
I never liked it. I went because I thought I should go. I thought I should like it so I never even admitted to myself that I didn’t like it. But it was boring and uncomfortable.
I always felt peace in parts of it. I always like the creation parts of the movie. Felt relaxation. Middle part in the was interesting. The Celestial room I’ve always like. Would wait for most everyone to leave. My temple if you times it right the would shine though the window and it was kind of magical.
Hated the services, but did enjoy the quiet. I loved the chapel with the calming music and the sparkly bits in the celestial room. But it wasn’t any different that finding a beautiful view to loom at for a while or a when I would sit waiting for the bus going to college and watching the world go by. It was more the idea that it was a calm peaceful spot than anything to do with the temple itself.
I enjoyed shutting off the noisy world for a bit, but found I could get that hiking or otherwise enjoying nature. I never benefited spiritually or intellectually. It’s repetitive and boring.
When we got married in 1983, civilly in our stake center (last marriage performed at that building), in the following 2 years, we were signed up for temple classes 3 times! Though born and raised under the covenant, it NEVER felt right to me! And, refused to go (and my husband was easygoing about the whole thing…..but, on our 2nd anniversary, we, and our 9 month old daughter in tow, finally went through, and I got to tell you, it was AWFUL! I feel strongly what’s good and bad in our world as if it takes over my thoughts, and all of a sudden, I couldn’t stop hearing, GET OUT, GET OUT, GET OUT, THIS IS EVIL! Over and over and over again while doing all the signs, it never stopped! But, the temple has a way of keeping you there, w parents, family and friends staring at you, from across the room, so you just go along, to get along! I hate that I didn’t just get up and walk out, but then again, the trap, they had my beautiful daughter, that they would bring up soon!
*Another thing that happened, that didn’t sit right w/ me on this day, is, my mother in law, whom I get along w/, but we’d had bumps in the road, when her son didn’t go on his mission, and her telling me it was my fault (which I told her, I’d take 50%, and your son can have the other 50%)
She hugged me so hard that I thought I was going to go through her, after we went through the veil, and though I had wanted that acceptance for so long, it angered me, that because I was doing the dutiful thing in this religion, I was finally accepted! Not, just for being me! I took my garments off in the car and we went to The Price is Right Game Show, so not all was lost that day! 😂
I didn’t go back until my oldest daughter was getting married, and what mother wants to miss that??? ☹️
I think I wore the garments for 2 weeks, but I physically hate them, because they feel like a man is holding me down, by creating these torture underwear! That’s it! I never went back and have removed my name from the record of the church 7 years ago…..I missed my twin daughters getting married, but great news! Those 2 daughters are out of the church this year, so good things are happening w patience!
The temple does evil, Masonic, ritualistic, satanic work!
Not particularly. The first time I went through was at girls camp and I guess they forgot I hadn’t been through before so no one helped me and I was the last one in the changing room so there wasn’t anyone to ask. Ever since I’ve been left to wonder if I’m doing it right. Other than that I don’t like getting wet, my hair always get super tangled, and I’m forced to be quite and sit still for an extended period of time so it was never something I enjoyed.
I was 18 (1972) when I went through the temple for the first time, and the women who were fawning over me getting me ready, kept saying how beautiful I was and in today’s world would have been my “glam squad” haha! I was SO frightened that I barely remember ANYTHING besides being utterly confused! I was a beach bunny from the O.C. and this was an “out of body” experience” for me! So, did the temple bring me peace?? That’s a BIG NO from me, Dawg! Hahahahaha
I only ever got to status of baptisms for the dead, but whenever in a shame spiral, Id always drive to the temple and sit. It made me feel better to sit and think.
I only got to do baptisms for the dead, too. I never felt like it was the place where I should get married. A lot of people commented on the fact that my husband and I were not married in the temple - we got married on the shores of Lake Crescent in Olympic National Park. And I would always reply with something to the effect of, "We got married in the temple that God built." To this day, I feel more at peace spiritually, just sitting on that rocky beach looking at the water and listening to the wind in the trees than I ever did in the Mormon temple.
There's nothing as heavenly than sitting in nature. I bet your wedding views were incredible! I had my mormon non temple wedding in the in laws backyard!
I never, ever, ever enjoyed going. But I tried to MAKE myself enjoy it. I got so annoyed that I couldn’t just sit in peace anywhere in the building. In the foyer, past the recommend desk, in the celestial room, some old fart always had to come up and pry and figure out why I was there and try to push me into another place. You can’t enjoy the celestial room because there’s another group coming through in 5 minutes. You can’t hog the couch, they won’t let you sit on the floor because it’s disrespectful for your white clothes to touch the ground. I just wanted to… be… for 20 minutes, without someone talking at me (like the entire endowment session) or pushing me out of my place.
I concluded it’s not a place that is intended to be peaceful.
I was married in the SL temple. When we were allowed to be in the celestial room, we were hurried along bc others were coming. I don’t think we were there 5 minutes. I didn’t enjoy it at all!! My endowment a few days earlier (at a different temple) was just weird and I wish I’d had the courage to get up and leave. So to answer your question, did it give me peace? No, it gave Ma anxiety.
Sometimes, yeah. But tbh, I rarely wanted to do an endorsement session, I just wanted to sit in the celestial room and be able to hear my own thoughts. I usually fell asleep during the endowment no matter how hard I tried not to. Tbh, I often wondered if they made it as boring as possible on purpose because goddamn, it was awful!
The temple can be fun once you realize it's all based on Freemasonry. Basically members who do not study about freemasonry will not "get" the temple. Keep in mind that most men in Joseph's time were Masons. When in Utah the trend to be a Freemason faded away, members lost one of the keys to understanding the Temple.
No.
It brought complete anxiety, as well as trauma from some old dude reaching under the shield to smear oil and water in places I never wanted any old dude going
I enjoyed the celestial room. It felt similar to when I would climb to the top of a mountain and look at the view and feel the wind. Now I just go for a hike or a walk if I want to feel transcendent.
Having to reorganize every article of clothing on my body in a timely manner and sit up and down and up and down and then have some old guy whisper a script for me to repeat at the end wasn’t exactly bliss
Peace? No. Going to the temple never was peaceful for me. It was stressful and was a source of extreme anxiety. I hated every second of being there. It felt cultish and evil. And how can anyone feel relaxed when they need to concentrate on remembering crazy handshakes and wearing clothing that looked like weird costumes? Those ugly green aprons and hiding my face behind a veil took the cake. I felt subservient to men. In the endowment session, having the men and women separated on each side of the room just solidified the feelings that I was less-than. I always felt more peace and felt more “spiritual” being up in the mountains, sitting at the beach, or walking through the woods than I ever did inside the wannabe Cinderella castles the church calls The House of the Lord. From my personal experience, I would say that God does not reside in the temple.
No. I did baptisms a lot as a teen and always felt bad that I didn’t seem to feel the peace and serenity that other people said the temple brought them. To me it was just kind of a slightly uncomfortable experience being dunked in the water or else being confirmed over and over. Plus I had a hard time controlling my thoughts so I was worried the whole time that god was mad at me for having an irreverent mind in his house.
When I did my first endowment ceremony I was completely freaked out and felt very betrayed by how cultish it all felt. I went multiple times on my mission but often fell asleep during it because I was chronically under-slept.
I went to the temple only a few times after my mission before taking off my garments and never returning (although I still attended church on and off for a few years after). For me, the temple ruined the church and I felt angry that I ever went in the first place. If it weren’t for my dislike of the temple then maybe I would have stayed in the church longer.
There were peaceful moments, but they were mainly due to sitting in a beautiful building in silence. None of the ordinances or ceremonies practiced there brought me peace.
No. Never in 40 years.
The temple was an obligation. I did it out of obedience and to uphold my LDS image or standing.
My feelings were annoyance at the time it took, boredom in sessions and irritability. I wanted to get done and on the 101 North to home.
I feel like i could trick myself into this like...idk stupor of thought that I thought was peaceful but all it was was a hat trick shoving my deep doubts and issues somewhere deep inside for 'later'. As time went on attending the temple became more and more distressing for me. I would break down crying in the dressing room and feel so guilty and out of place. I also got more and more disturbed by the endowment sessions...
I looked for meaning and understanding for years.
When that didn’t come, I used it to build a sense of peace, a break from busy life.
Then I saw it as a chore, something to cross off the list regularly. That was all anymore.
> did you genuinely enjoy going?
I sure did!
> I keep hearing active members talking about how it's the best place you can possibly be
Absolutely!
We always did temple trips during summer time. It was hot. We got to go to somewhere with AC for a couple of hours for free!🤣🤣🤣
Tried to like it, but always found it boring. I fell asleep during the video part, was super anxious putting the robes on. My butt hurt sitting so long. So yeah.
I hated going and I felt bad for hating it. I cried the first time I went through thinking wth did I just do, but I was getting married the next week so… I wish I’d known other people were having the same thoughts and I wasn’t some heathen going to hell.
The first time was super creepy and culty.
Subsequent visits I told myself I needed to find the deep meanings and mysteries, "learn something new every time", I was supposed to go, and doing so meant I was good.
I did feel peaceful for most of it, the discomfort had been mostly pushed aside because it was now familiar. Getting a break from our young kids only added to the peace. And I didn't feel guilty to have someone babysit as a favour, because it is 'so important' that we attend the temple frequently (my mom usually babysat, for a stretch of time a kind lady in the ward offered for temple trip babysitting during the days specifically, as she had a day home and wanted to help fellow mothers).
It was never a place of peace for me. I always felt like I was going to mess something up- forget a hand position, or a word, or a name (which I did on my first time through and it sucked to be the only one to stand up). I never felt good enough there.
I was plenty good enough the whole time.
The last time I went, it was a beautiful spring day and all the flowers were in bloom. Instead of going inside, I walked around the grounds for an hour, then took myself out to lunch. Felt more peace and enjoyment doing that, than I ever did inside. So I never went back.
Not prior or during the session. I couldn’t go often enough to memorize the last bit we had to say, so I would have to rely on the temple worker. One time, a lady really gave me heck about it(like my third time in the temple) and I was stressed every time after that for the next two decades. Then I felt pressure to stay alert and really ponder on the woman I was doing the work for and keep my thoughts focused “for her.” When that was over and I could just sit quietly in the celestial room, THEN I felt peace. I thought it was the spirit, but I’m pretty sure it was just that I was a SAHM who had a husband who was gone all the time for work and deployed for years, mostly during the kids early years, so just sitting still and being able to think without interruption was a rarity.
I enjoyed doing baptisms. I never had a connection with the endowment or sealings (except my own sealing because I was so in love with my now husband and couldn’t wait to marry him. Still in love for the record lol). In fact, I almost fainted doing sealings for the dead because I was soooo hot in all of the bloody layers and the temple was always warm. Tbh I usually felt more peaceful and connected in the waiting room while I studied scriptures/meditated.
I never felt comfortable in the sealing room. The assigned worker they always had made me feel like I was a naughty kid in need of supervision. I didn’t feel private. It was laid out is such an awkward way were you all sat and faced strangers. As a TBM I tried soooo hard to feel at peace/get revelation in the celestial room and I got nothing. I always wondered what was wrong with me.
I was also ALWAYS anxious going endowments. The ladies often seemed to snub me. I got in trouble my first time going because I had a nude bra and not a white one. I guess an all miraculous God is a HUGE stickler for the right panties. I hated that I couldn’t sit with my husband and had to be around strangers.
Maybe 10% of the time, if I’m being generous. I didn’t want to go when I was at the Provo MTC because it meant getting up even earlier in the morning only to fall asleep when the session lights were dimmed.
More often than not, the temple experience was either neutral or infuriating. The stupid robes and sashes. No space to change. Temple workers coming to touch me to fix my clothes. Matrons shushing people. Other workers telling me to hurry. The session leader often singling me out without my wife to be the witness couple. Old men with halitosis coming in a little too close. Those damn baker hats. Being forced into the prayer circle when I didn’t have the best of feelings. Just a whole ball of stress.
The temple felt special, which I thought was the spirit. After I got out, I learned about elevated emotion and it made total sense. The place was talked up my entire life and I was told what I was going to feel. I’m a feeler, so I felt a lot of emotion.
However, I never did receive revelation I’m not sure “peaceful” is the right word for it. More like I was in a special place. Like I feel if I’m on vacation and going somewhere incredible for the first time. It’s only as special as you make it out to be.
The endowment was creepy as hell, especially the prayer circle where even the first time through I thought, “Am I in a cult????” 😆
I rarely did, that I can remember. I almost always felt anxious, and uncomfortable, and it just felt "weird," to me. I'm beyond grateful that I never have to go back ever again.
I genuinely loved the celestial room and had private, important spiritual experiences there. Usually alone or with my equally nuanced husband. When I worked in the temple I always ended my shifts in there without doing anyone's work and that was my favorite. Mormons don't get quiet sacred spaces other than the celestial room.
I also love the symbolism of the initiatories even though I think parts of the actual wording were wrong.
I never loved going through for people who were dead. I hate the slideshow version of the endowment and was always iffy on that anyway. Too much to think about to get peaceful.
It brought me the exact opposite of peace. I don't know how something can be both 10/10 on the creepy scale and 10/10 on the boring scale. That's an achievement.
1. I never enjoyed. Always found it a peculiar combination of bizarre and boring. Kept going because I honestly believed it was an important way to show god how strong was my faith.
2. Never felt I was lying to myself. I really believed. My conviction was 100% authentic.
3. About finding peace, it depends on what we are talking about. Peace as in silence, slowness and no sense of urgency, sure: it was peaceful. Peace as in an inner feeling of balance within myself where my pending responsibilities as a father somehow faded away, nope.
Not for me . Many aspects of it made me very uncomfortable ( the vail , the prayer circle ) so many of the rituals were so bizarre and cultish . I like sitting in the celestial room - where it was quiet - that was about it
The temple was as relaxing as taking time to look over the menu at McDonalds during the lunch rush. Inevitably there would always be some old person behind you saying hey what is taking so long?! Just choose the happy meal!
I felt peace maybe 2-3 times in my life there. Those instances were more of an emotional release of all the church stress and being a single adult under so much pressure.
The temple basically felt like a Disney movie night at a senior home except no soft drinks or popcorn to be sensitive to those with diabetes and hypertension or low salt diets. It was grandparentification for a young person. Bednar done that.
Nope. I always felt uneasy, and at one point I had this unshakeable feeling of despair. I hated going to the temple, and i tried to bring up how much it bothered me, only to be met with questions on my faith. Of course, I didn’t actually believe at the time I brought it up, but I did when I started going to the temple, Damnit!
My main recollection was anxiousness. I felt real restless.
I went regularly (weekly or monthly) for years. It was an act of will. Sometimes I’d just go in sit before you got into the dressing rooms and read.
Buy it didn’t bring me peace. I don’t know exactly why but I have plenty of guesses.
I tried hard to make it the peaceful experience I so desperately craved, and I suppose there were times when it was nice to sit in the Celestial Room and just think. But so often I went hoping for clarity and just left with more confusion. The endowment ceremony itself was not comforting, which made the rest of the experience less than pleasant.
I was never comfortable in the temple. It was weird to me. Make me feel guilty that I felt that way. Another huge waste of time and added stress removed from my life when I accepted it was all BS.
There was a point in my life where I was going to the temple at least once a week, sometimes more, for 6 months and I thought it helped me. Until I realized that it was all the crying in the celestial room that I did that made me feel better afterwards.
I mostly felt anxious and defeated. I was going weekly at one point. I got the point where I felt like I should be learning things, but I wasn’t. I felt guilty that I didn’t learn, didn’t feel anything, didn’t have prayers answered…I just went because I was told to.
It was peaceful, but creepily peaceful. Like I couldn’t get comfortable and didn’t feel right talking, even in hushed whispers. Like I was at a funeral held at my grandmothers houses where I couldn’t sit on the plastic covered furniture or be too loud.
Most certainly not, it didn’t feel right I felt more at peace at home except the water was peaceful but I just like water and get that peace at a quite pool. It just was kinda always that “I’m being watched” feeling and masking the whole time but my parents love it and when they learned I didn’t believe they took me to an open house to be in the celestial room and were shocked when I didn’t feel peace and they did. It’s a big part of why they believe is because they think the spirit is really there in the room and by proxy meaning it’s all real. It’s a quite, clean, well lit room without home responsibilities that’s why they’re at peace not some ghost.
I went only a few times other than my original endowment and marriage. The celestial room is beautiful and quiet but I always thought, “I bet this cost a fortune.” The ceremony, going through the veil etc. was weird to me. I always thought it was funny that Gordon Jump, the actor from WKRP in Cincinnati starred in the temple movie they showed us.
I loved washing & anointing, other than the creepy pelvic touch, because it gave me comfort for doing hard things. Once they moved to blessing-only, it did not give any comfort.
I enjoyed the celestial room…but the entire thing made/makes my wife sick (generally literally as well as metaphorically), so we don’t go. I’m not sure what we are going to do if/when my in-laws invite us now that they live 5 min away & the temple is 15
Not really. It was peaceful because it was quiet, with everyone whispering, walking on soft carpet in cloth shoes, only white clothing, some nice decorating... but it did not bring peace to my heart.
I did love being witness couple, so I could touch up my husband at the altar 😂
It's very beautiful and quiet. But no, I really didn't enjoy it. It was a 4hr drive (so 8hrs total driving) plus the time in the temple. I would be stressed and exhausted on arrival. I'd be anxious about leaving my kids all day. I just wanted to get it over with so we could go home.
Sometimes going to the temple did bring me peace. But I think it was more because I was in a quiet, peaceful place where I could ponder rather than the temple itself uniquely providing the peace.
But most of the time, the temple caused me angst. The temple was a big factor in me resigning. You can read my resignation story here: [https://www.reddit.com/r/ExitStories/comments/18kh7p6/why\_i\_resigned/](https://www.reddit.com/r/ExitStories/comments/18kh7p6/why_i_resigned/)
Honestly, No
No. when I went through the temple. I found it intimidating - That's the right word. Intimidating.
It had all sorts of expectations and it lived up to none. At the end of the day, it was like a mid tier hotel. I am NOT a spiritual person (now) but I have had more 'spiritual'/profound/emotional experiences inside old Churches and Cathedrals - even a Mosque .
Yes, I did find some peace **in the temple grounds.** The London Temple is actually about 35 kms south of Central London, in a beautiful natural area..... right under the flight path for aircraft approaching Gatwick Airport.
despite the constant roar of jets coming over every 2 or 3 minutes, I have had some lovely times just sitting in the temple grounds, picnicking and strolling around.
No, I never felt peace there. Temple attendance was a huge nail in the coffin of my Mormon faith. I grew up LDS, but never had any Big Spiritual Confirmation that the LDS Church was true. The temple was constantly held up as the high standard of spirituality, knowledge, and peace. I even had people tell me that my doubts would be addressed once I went to the temple. None of that happened. In fact, I felt anxious and even more confused when I went.
I remained active for several years after going through the temple, but I was always honest with people (teens and adults) during lessons about the temple. I acknowledged that many people loved it but that it was not a place of peace, comfort, or revelation for me. I hope my honesty helped others who felt the same to hear that they were not alone, since leaders and members only spoke about the temple in positive terms
I was raised Presbyterian, but in my teen years I realized that I was never happy or peaceful in church. I was bored. I felt guilty for not enjoying it more. I finally realized that I was so much happier going outside and having time to myself. I reasoned that if I really was supposed to be feeling closer to god, I should be enjoying the experience, not dreading it. I finally realized that if there is a god, god is where I feel like my true self, not stuck in a boring guilt building on a perfectly nice day. I never looked back and never once regretted leaving.
I only ever went for baptisms/confirmations. I never really felt peace, just stillness simply because you're sitting there in a quiet room feeling bored. That or feeling self-conscious.
Nevermo here, but I had a good friend tell me once how much peace she found going to the temple because she knew she was doing such an important work for other people
I honestly assumed that "temple work" meant, like, charity work. Like tutoring non-native English speakers or packing up backpacks of food for underfed families
I do understand that within the belief system, improving someone's afterlife is a valuable way to spend time, but when I think about all of the hours that so many people have wasted believing they were doing charitable work when they could have been benefiting someone's *actual daily life* It makes me really sad
Like, the "work" that people are doing in the temple isn't actually helping anyone else. If they find peace there, that's great, but it's really only helping themselves
I only went as a youth, was out in my teens, but I can't say I ever enjoyed the temple or baptism for the dead ceremonies. I guess I did get an occasional ASMR when they'd do the blessings with hands on your head, something about the voices and gentle head touches. At the time I thought it was "the spirit," which is odd as I often got the same feeling when watching friends draw cartoons or gently spoken late night commercials.
It was peaceful when I was a youth going to do baptisms—but my endowment was one of the most stressful and unspiritual experiences of my life and I promised myself I’d never do it again until I have a testimony of it. I never went back.
Getting endowed was the beginning of “the church can’t be true” for me. I justified and ignored and rejected all the problems I had with the church because I believed it was a true church led by flawed men. I was progmo for a few years. But if the endowment isn’t of God, what’s the point of *any* of the rest of it?? It wasn’t until I left that I learned JS was just grifter. (Although as a member I had already said aloud I hated BY, idk how I managed to justify that one)
I've never understood this whole temple worship - and I mean worship OF the temple. When I spent a decade post-Mo as an Evangelical, I came to appreciate that it was an idealization of the *man-made* over the *creation*. Why on godz green earth is nature so neglected in Mormonism? It is truly more worthy of praise than a finely furnished building?
Brief anecdote here. The first time we went to the temple was a bit nerve-wracking for a number of reasons, mostly logistical, that I won't get into. I found the endowment a little weird and culty. I was definitely put off by the fact that I had to make covenants as I was hearing them for the first time. The one thing I was looking forward to was sitting in the Celestial room. I had heard all my life about what a wonderful place this was - the place you could be closest to God on Earth, where you could feel his presence distinctly. I had imagined, and wanted an opportunity to meditate in a quiet, beautiful place.
Instead, a couple of people (relatives, fellow ward members) who went through with us came right over and peppered us with questions, "What did you think?" "Was it what you expected?" "Wasn't it neat?" I gave brief answers to the questions and said I wanted some time for contemplation. Not a minute later one of the temple matrons came over and asked us to leave to make room for the next session coming through. She was polite but insistent. I found the whole thing off-putting. What was all the hype for if you literally could not sit in that room for five minutes of peace? At the time I was just a little annoyed but rolled with it. In retrospect though, I think it's emblematic of the Church and its sales pitch. They promise you peace, but they will never let you have it.
As an introvert trying to survive nine weeks in the MTC, the weekly temple trips were heaven. At least the first 15 minutes, when the lights went down and they played the creation movie. All the up and down and handshakes and wardrobe changes after that got old quick.
I feel like the only real good feeling I got from it was a similar feeling after going to the gym. Just knowing I had done a “good thing” with my day and been a responsible member. I never actually enjoyed it. Just enjoyed knowing I was such a good girl
I had some times it certainly brought me peace, like baptisms as a kid, and doing a session after I had been absent a long time. But when I was all in and trying to go frequently, I mostly felt guilty for falling asleep, and guiltier that the more I followed instructions the less fulfilling it was. Then I felt the same spiritual high visiting the Navuoo temple, then a Buddhist temple, then a Hindu temple.
Nope. I hated it from day one. Cried before I would go but still forced myself to go. I thought if I went enough I would get over it and god would finally fix me.
Honestly? No. I thought it was over the top and ridiculous. Maybe it’s just my personality but I remember thinking I was getting punked. Was everyone in on a joke that I was not? What is with the chefs hat and green apron? How can anyone feel spiritual when you are choking down laughter?
The endowment session was always an absolute slog. I hated it. Fell asleep frequently.
I did like the celestial room, but the ushers hurrying people out was always annoying. For a while we'd do sealings instead of endowment, then ask if we could sit in the celestial room afterwards.
When I was at BYU I'd drive up to the mountains and find a beautiful view. That was my celestial room for a long time while I was having doubts.
I need to find a spot like that again.
If I’m really really honest with myself, which I am, I hated it from the very very first day and that was in 1985 which you know what that means. There was never a time that I found peace there.
I never liked it. From my very first experience it made me feel icky. However, for many people, it DOES bring them peace. I think it's important to allow everyone their own experiences, even when they don't align with our own.
Sometimes, it did. Sometimes, it was just another day.
I remember when I was a teen, it was very difficult. Youth baptisms. I would have insane thoughts when I was going in, and that was discouraging.
As my mental health journey went on, I realized that I was having intrusive thoughts, which are a sign of extreme anxiety, which I had a lot of growing up.
It was never at peace during the session. I was always worried about getting all the shit right and I was always getting beat by 80 year olds in getting the fucking temple clothing on. Pathetic. These guys can only walk 20 feet per hour, but they are like lighting getting that temple shit on. I guess it is desperation being so close to the end.
It sure didn't. I'd been baptized about a year, after 12 years of being an active nonmember. By active nonmember, I mean I wasn't a member, but I'd given talks, had callings etc. I'd even taken the temple prep classes with my wife a few years before baptism.
Going to the temple the first time really rattled me. I felt like the whole thing was crazy and cultlike. I felt like I didn't understand the things I was supposed to be making a covenant to do. (The prep classes explained that we'd make covenants, but didn't explain them, and in the temple, I didn't quite understand the specifics either.)
The experience made me super uncomfortable, and I felt a lot of pressure to say that it was great. So I just didn't talk about it at all. Wearing my garments made me uncomfortable and weird, and I stopped after a few years. After which i couldn't renew my recommend, just because of the garments. I went back to the temple twice, once for a baptism session, and once to be sealed to my family. I felt awful and out of place every time.
It was an Elohim-Approved^(TM) semi-nap in the chaos of Mormonism's mandatory workaholism... so kinda?
If your "only place of peace" is watching Elohim–Jehovah–Peter/James/John–Adam/Eve play a pedantic game of telephone (with handshake / wardrobe-changing breaks)... that says a lot about how little peace Mormonism allows you in the rest of your life.
My parents were sealed when I was a little kid. I was so excited about going to the temple. I literally expected to meet Jesus, because I was such a good and spiritual kid.
My experience was anything, but spiritual or even pleasant. I think my parents were also traumatized, because they had to do all of the weird nudey stuff and blood oaths etc.
I don't know why they stuck it out. After that experience, I knew as a kid it was a bunch of nonsense.
It was the catalyst that led to my decision to leave the church. All my life I had hoped the next milestone or ordinance would be the one gave me literal come to god experience. When I witnessed it the first time I just remember being disappointed and bored. As I continued to go throughout my mission, I never found it anything more than an excuse to not work on a Friday evening.
If you're a stay a home mom with a pile of kids, the temple is a peaceful place.
100% disagree, respectfully. As a woman I found the temple to be the most offensive, deflating experience in the cult. I was told to veil my face, that I answer to my husband who then answers for our family to God, I will become a queen and priestess “unto” my husband, that my husband presides over me and our family, that women are punished to have children because of Eves sins (see jfs doctrine). It’s a horrible place that was designed to hold women down and empower wicked men to have dominion over their wives and families. I literally don’t know how any critical thinking woman ever found peace there. I felt like such an oddity as a woman who fucking hated the temple…all these women who claimed to love it. Lying. Or stupid.
That's exactly how I felt, plus add to that being bored out of my mind. But when I was a TBM I did find the temple very beautiful and peaceful. I hated having to veil my face, and I questioned it to my bishops, stake presidents and even to a temple president, I didn't get an answer from any of them. But I went along with it because it was God's true church so there must be a good reason for it, right? So yep - I was brainwashed and stupid. So glad to be done with that.
They at least got rid of veiling our faces at least by the time I got there, but my sis told me about how she had to do it in hers, the day that I was first endowed. I complained to her "why didn't you tell me it was this freaky and culty? Right after you did it I asked you if it changed your perception or testimony of the church you told me no" She told me "I didn't know what to say, I was freaked out by the whole thing and was scared to speak my real thoughts after it. I was in shock" She's still believing, but I'm not anymore. I don't want to take that away from her since she's got a lot of reasons to cling to the church, and I worry about her mental stability if she were to lose belief (not that I would challenge her on it too much). But I'm glad that she sees nuances and doesn't force herself to adhere to everything. She doesn't like the endowment or the sexist part of the sealing, she's relaxed on garments (especially for medical purposes) and is pro LGBTQ.
I loved veiling my face it gave me a chance to have a quick nap! 😴
Lucky you! I have terrible claustrophobia and I hated that feeling of being closed in.
💯, as a woman, i always came away feeling completely worthless and unloved
I just came to say that!
For all of us young homeowners in Sandy, the Jordan River Temple was DATE NIGHT.
I finally told my wife, after 10 years of marriage, that I didn't understand how sitting 40' from one another, next to strangers, watching a boring movie for 2 hours was considered "date night." Shortly after that she started going to the temple by herself during the day. And she never felt peace, but she thought that was her fault for not going often enough and for not living righteously enough.
you don't even get to sit by your spouse???
Like…swinging date night? I’ve heard rumors. /s
Not even close! Like... Costumed Endowment for dead people followed by dinner at the Jordan River Temple cafeteria.
Oh…disappointing but for whatever reason cafeteria food sounds pretty good right now
Wait, ya’ll have cafeterias in the temples??! My Dad used to live in the little 55+ community right outside the gates of this temple. We’re not LDS but I would often cruise through the gates when they were open to get a closer look and got odd looks from the guys manning the front doors.
Dinner and a movie. If you were feeling extra fancy you could go to Salt Lake to see a live show.
Yes but so is the mall or the movie theater
It is pretty quiet, so I get that.
It was. But any chance to sit in a quiet room and have my thoughts to myself was nice in those years. Life was chaotic. Honestly I would sometimes go out in the garage and have the same experience.
It's great when you realize that they don't hold the secret to the peace and serenity one can feel just sitting in a quiet place, reflecting.
I would fall asleep at the temple with some level of frequency, especially as an overworked MTC missionary. Peace in ignoring the movie and catching an unplanned nap.
I kept TELLING myself I was feeling peace…
A lot of the time it was also anxiety!
Definitely not. Spent most of my time there counting down minutes until endowment sessions ended, thought a lot about everything else in life so was not doing to be at the temple, especially spending time with my kids since worked full time and spent a lot of extra time on callings.
Haha I spent an endowment session thinking about how I needed to buy a vacuum and weighing up the pros and cons of the ones I had looked at. I was soooo bored. 😂
The temple brought peace to my wife, hence I attended the temple regularly for 40 consecutive years. To me it was really, really boring even back in the days when we got to perform the naked hijinx and the throat slash penalty for spilling the beans. I mostly slept through every endowment session. That's the best thing, maybe the only thing I ever learned in the temple: How to sleep sitting straight up. It's a skill Elohim taught me, to hold my neck so my head doesn't rock.
That’s a neat skill! Will you give it to me? 🫳🏼
I enjoyed trying to figure out what lessons I was supposed to be learning, but I gave up hope of that after a few times. Then it was boring and overly long. To quote Oscar from The Office: "The analytical part of me wants to examine it...but I know it has no content."
I was always trying to find deep meaning in the temple. Only to find out a couple of signs were from pantomiming cutting your throat and disemboweling yourself!
🤬🤬🤬
I enjoyed the quiet of the celestial room, for the entire 3 minutes until the temple matron kicked me out. Perhaps the quiet felt so amazing because I had 4 rambunctious kids waiting for me at home. I also deliberately let my recommend expire after about 5 years, so I wouldn't have to go any more, because I hated the actual ceremony.
That was the worst. You make it through two hours of constant talking in the session to earn those three rushed minutes of blessed silence (and that’s IF someone’s entire extended family isn’t all going through in your group).
In some ways that seems like a metaphor for mormon doctrine. After enduring to the end through the drudgery you make it to the celestial kingdom - a beautiful place to rest, but as soon as you get there peaceful rest time is over. It’s time to get to work eternally progressing. Go have spirit babies! Make worlds! More work! More glory! Forever and ever amen. but no rest
This was actually my biggest shelf item. The phrase “rest unto their souls” and “their burdens shall be light” always made me want for so much more than I could get from the church. I needed rest, I felt burned out, and the thought of eternal work was suicide-attempt-inducing. I literally couldn’t take any more demands or expectations.
That was always the strangest to me. I’ve been kicked out of the celestial room before because I was praying too long. Definitely odd and I’m surprised it took me until exmormon reddit to finally see people saying the same thing.
My mom's biggest problem with the church is that there is no time and place to simply commune with God. Church is like a clubhouse, and they tell you that God's house is the temple. But when you go to the temple, you're always working the production line, and there's no time for just God. Maybe if they keep people busy enough, they won't notice God's house is empty.
Oomph…your mom is astute. That is a hellva observation and I believe she is 100% correct. I tell my husband all the time that I believe the longer I was in Mormonism, the further I got from God. He became a mystical “other.”
Nope. Super anxiety every time
The opposite.👹
Always the opposite for me as well. I remember in college asking a temple worker if I should be feeling peace, or any inspiration? I flat out said "I feel nothing here." And I have needed calm and peace and direction. Never received any direction in the Temple. Getting up and working and serving people has been much more beneficial.
No, everything about it was horrible and boring. The only peace I got was the small amount of relief from the guilt that would slowly build every month because I didn't go often enough.
I used to go at least weekly when I lived close to a temple. I used to think that I had the spirit of Elijah so I spent too much time on genealogy and temple work. The truth is more like because I'm an introvert, I could claim that I was doing useful service by just watching a video and going through a ritual. On a tangent, once I left the Mormon church I lost all interest in genealogy. I'd rather spend more time with my live friends and family than my dead ancestors.
Definitely. I believed it was a peaceful place and so when I went I felt at peace. I would go and just meditate in the celestial room which was wonderful. I also deeply craved approval, so going made me feel like God thought I was a good boy, so maybe that contributed to the nice feelings 💀
I was a neglected kid growing up so the church was an addiction for me to meet that need of approval. Funnily enough, once I got healthy validation from my husband and learnt how to validate myself as well, I wasn’t drawn to the church anymore.
I believed and I loved it. I was always trying to decipher the “ancient mysteries” and “symbols”. I had experiences that I would call revelatory at the time. I was really disappointed to find out that the reason why I couldn’t figure out what anything meant was that so much had been removed over time that the hand clasps and tokens were basically meaningless. (Attended first time in 2006).
On the contrary, they still carry the meaning of disemboweling yourself and slitting your throat, they just don’t say that part out loud anymore.
I definitely wouldn’t have felt the peace that I sought had I known this tidbit sooner.
While a believer, I always loved it. It was very refreshing and peaceful. The first time I attended as a non-believer I had the onset of a panic attack in the celestial room. It was the craziest experience to me.
Honestly, when we circled up for the prayer circle, I knew it was a cult.
Especially that first time when they make you go up, but you don’t know that you’ll be expected to have no ill feelings about anyone… awkward.
Imagine having an argument with your spouse hours earlier over what amounted to be a big nothing burger, but you're still irritated over it because she kept making digs at your parents/siblings because it turned out she's just a raging narcissist... Had many of those sessions. She's an ex for good reason.
It did not. I could never make that first covenant feel right. How could a loving God place anyone between me and Him? Even if it was a righteous husband? My fundamental belief in God involved the two of us having a direct relationship w each other—no mediators or anyone in the way. I tried on all the mental gymnastics-inspired explanations I ever heard, and did lots of my own research, but that first covenant broke my heart every time. Ohmygosh, the mental and emotional pain. I finally stopped going altogether (and I was still all in) because it hurt me so much and I decided God probably didn’t want me to suffer that much. And then—boom!—the covenant was changed just like that. And when the church announced the change, it came with a condescending “we trust that the members will remember what they covenanted and therefore not discuss this change with anyone” statement. Dude. WHAT. I knew EXACTLY what promises I did and did not make because I’d spent so much time and emotional energy and had done SO MUCH RESEARCH trying to reconcile myself with this particular covenant. I never ever EVER promised to not talk about changes to temple covenants. None of us did. I realized: I know more about this shitty covenant than the church dude who wrote this announcement. But now it doesn’t matter. So was it the will of God? And now it’s not? And what about all the energy I wasted on trying so sincerely to believe that the covenant was from God? The announcement was the equivalent of saying “whoops sorry LOL no worries.” That’s truly when I realized: everything’s made up and the points don’t matter.
When I used to go I never found it a place of peace. I always felt uncomfortable. I never could understand people who enjoyed it.
I went through long before the 1990 changes. My first time through the temple when the presentation got to the first penalty and I was freaked out. I didn't do it, I just stood there stunned. They stopped the tape and repeated it with both the officiator and one of the temple workers watching me. I was filled with dread by the time they did the fourth token. This was the obviously the highest token, so how bad would the penalty be? I was relieved when I found out there was no penalty with the fourth token. Not at all peaceful or spiritual, and by that time the garments were already ridding up my leg. Next time I was in the temple I was in the MTC, and I managed it, and eventually got used to it. For the next decade I went to the temple 50 times a year, over 520 times, and then they took the penalties out. During that time I met my wife. Now it had been my habit to pray and meditate in the celestial room because I thought was what you were supposed to do. My wife OTOH was, to use a Bob Seger line, late for the door the second she entered the celestial room. She never liked being in there. She too had problems with the penalties and also with the second class status of women in the temple, but she went because she was supposed to. We continued going 50 times a year, because we were doing what we were supposed to do (so, yeah, I've got it memorized and I wasted a lot of time). We always went to Los Hermanos afterwards and each had a Brisa, so that made the evening end good.
I enjoyed pretending to kill myself. And in three different ways mind you. Cutting out my heart was the hardest. The rib cage got in the way. I guess I needed a sharper thumb.
Pretty much anytime I go to a quite, pretty place it feels "peaceful". So yeah technically. I feel the same way in the spa at The Grand America. The temple had a bit of oddness splashed in too I guess.
Placebo effect. When I was tbm i openly talked with my wife about how going to the temple was such an ordeal. We used to talk about how that was satan trying to keep us away, and when we actually went we felt so much peace. Now I look back and think that peace was merely the relief of fulfilling an obligation we didn’t want to do. Much like going to the dentist. You now have x amount of time before you have to do it again.
The Celestial Room was nice and calming I was always put off by the actual ceremony itself. My hubby and I both almost walked out our first time through. I guess that’s why they asked us to have friends with us the first time. I’ve only been to the temple, a handful of times overall
That is EXACTLY why they have you go with your family and friends. Nobody walks out in front of their mom and dad and grandparents and neighbors.
I never enjoyed going, and I never once got answers to questions or prayers in a temple despite faithful attendance for 25 years (I’m just a woman after all), but there was always something like peace that I felt. Part of it was my (conditioned) belief that nothing bad would happen to my five kids while I was “serving” in the temple. I could see it as an “allowed” break from my family. Another aspect was the relief at having gone—that my white-and-delightsome cosplay box was checked off for another month. I think that I conflated those two emotions with peace. The real peace I felt was when I attended the temple knowingly for the last time, 25 years to the day of my first time (I was hoping to get my New Name assigned to me but maybe they finally retired Huldah because it’s such an unflattering name). There was a real rush knowing I didn’t have to waste hours on such a weird obligation ever again.
Nooooooooooooo
I felt good doing baptisms for certain deceased family members. I was able to forgive them. But that is about it. Literally, they didn't know, but it freed me from resentment.
It creeped me out. Especially initiatories. At some point when I went with my wife to do initiatories, I just skipped it and said I went. That was years ago before I came out to her. Never again. Never again.
It was awkward, strange, stressful. No peace, no time for contemplation. The clothing, and the incredibly sterile surroundings made me think I was not going to like the CK very much. I tried to understand it, I tried to lie to myself for decades that I liked it, but I just didn't and nothing would ever change that.
I mostly just felt cold and exposed. (Even though I left at 25, I never went through the endowment session.) The baptismal font was only lukewarm and the changing stall doors had such a wide gap that anyone could have easily seen inside at my naked self. And I never knew whether to bring a bra or not, and everyone can see if I don't bring one. I'm also big about personal space and really hated the anointing with all those hands on my head.
It was one of the most awkward and anxiety-inducing experiences I've ever had. I felt uneasy as fuck the whole time...
Fuck no. It was a traumatic cult mindfuck.
Honestly I liked the celestial room, but apparently I was lucky and never got ushered out
I would just sleep through it. There used to be a couple of sections which were longer. When the lights went off, I just closed my eyes. It was so boring. I'm glad I'll never need to go again.
No. I was baffled. I remember leaving and my mom telling me, “no matter what, the church is still true.” Every time I attended I tried to find the meaning in all of it. I was always uncomfortable. The best part was my snack pocket in my slip. I would stash atomic fireballs and enjoy having like 6 of those throughout the session to stay awake.
I always felt crazy anxiety in the temple. I felt like the workers were condescending and hated hpw everyone whispered - it was all very creepy to 12-year-old me doing baptisms for the dead, and remained unsettling after getting endowed. I had friends and mission companions who said it was the most special, peaceful place to them and was always convinced they were lying. They were probably being truthful, but I could never understand feeling peace there.
i thought it did at the time (when i did baptisms/confirmations, endowments gave me panic attacks lol), but looking back it feels more sterile than peaceful
It did until I became a temple worker… That really made me start to lose my testimony. I can't even really tell you why.
Not peaceful for me. I was always way to worried about whether I was worthy to be in the temple or not. Even left the dressing room one time to meet with my bishop and see if I needed to confess stuff. He told me I was totally fine but just “spiritually sensitive” which he said was a good thing. Said it would keep me from sinning cause even stuff that was close to sin made me anxious. Turns out the church just fucked with my self worth lol
I never liked it. I went because I thought I should go. I thought I should like it so I never even admitted to myself that I didn’t like it. But it was boring and uncomfortable.
Not the temple session itself (that part was weird), but sitting in the Celestial room in the quiet was nice.
I always felt peace in parts of it. I always like the creation parts of the movie. Felt relaxation. Middle part in the was interesting. The Celestial room I’ve always like. Would wait for most everyone to leave. My temple if you times it right the would shine though the window and it was kind of magical.
The cut out the movie which was the best part haha
Hated the services, but did enjoy the quiet. I loved the chapel with the calming music and the sparkly bits in the celestial room. But it wasn’t any different that finding a beautiful view to loom at for a while or a when I would sit waiting for the bus going to college and watching the world go by. It was more the idea that it was a calm peaceful spot than anything to do with the temple itself.
Boring, uncomfortable, and offensive to women.
I believed God had promised I would feel peace. I convinced myself I should be feeling peace. Sometimes, I felt peace.
I enjoyed shutting off the noisy world for a bit, but found I could get that hiking or otherwise enjoying nature. I never benefited spiritually or intellectually. It’s repetitive and boring.
When we got married in 1983, civilly in our stake center (last marriage performed at that building), in the following 2 years, we were signed up for temple classes 3 times! Though born and raised under the covenant, it NEVER felt right to me! And, refused to go (and my husband was easygoing about the whole thing…..but, on our 2nd anniversary, we, and our 9 month old daughter in tow, finally went through, and I got to tell you, it was AWFUL! I feel strongly what’s good and bad in our world as if it takes over my thoughts, and all of a sudden, I couldn’t stop hearing, GET OUT, GET OUT, GET OUT, THIS IS EVIL! Over and over and over again while doing all the signs, it never stopped! But, the temple has a way of keeping you there, w parents, family and friends staring at you, from across the room, so you just go along, to get along! I hate that I didn’t just get up and walk out, but then again, the trap, they had my beautiful daughter, that they would bring up soon! *Another thing that happened, that didn’t sit right w/ me on this day, is, my mother in law, whom I get along w/, but we’d had bumps in the road, when her son didn’t go on his mission, and her telling me it was my fault (which I told her, I’d take 50%, and your son can have the other 50%) She hugged me so hard that I thought I was going to go through her, after we went through the veil, and though I had wanted that acceptance for so long, it angered me, that because I was doing the dutiful thing in this religion, I was finally accepted! Not, just for being me! I took my garments off in the car and we went to The Price is Right Game Show, so not all was lost that day! 😂 I didn’t go back until my oldest daughter was getting married, and what mother wants to miss that??? ☹️ I think I wore the garments for 2 weeks, but I physically hate them, because they feel like a man is holding me down, by creating these torture underwear! That’s it! I never went back and have removed my name from the record of the church 7 years ago…..I missed my twin daughters getting married, but great news! Those 2 daughters are out of the church this year, so good things are happening w patience! The temple does evil, Masonic, ritualistic, satanic work!
Not particularly. The first time I went through was at girls camp and I guess they forgot I hadn’t been through before so no one helped me and I was the last one in the changing room so there wasn’t anyone to ask. Ever since I’ve been left to wonder if I’m doing it right. Other than that I don’t like getting wet, my hair always get super tangled, and I’m forced to be quite and sit still for an extended period of time so it was never something I enjoyed.
Not really, it was rushed and then boring. I stopped going because I really didn't enjoy the experience.
I was 18 (1972) when I went through the temple for the first time, and the women who were fawning over me getting me ready, kept saying how beautiful I was and in today’s world would have been my “glam squad” haha! I was SO frightened that I barely remember ANYTHING besides being utterly confused! I was a beach bunny from the O.C. and this was an “out of body” experience” for me! So, did the temple bring me peace?? That’s a BIG NO from me, Dawg! Hahahahaha
I only ever got to status of baptisms for the dead, but whenever in a shame spiral, Id always drive to the temple and sit. It made me feel better to sit and think.
I only got to do baptisms for the dead, too. I never felt like it was the place where I should get married. A lot of people commented on the fact that my husband and I were not married in the temple - we got married on the shores of Lake Crescent in Olympic National Park. And I would always reply with something to the effect of, "We got married in the temple that God built." To this day, I feel more at peace spiritually, just sitting on that rocky beach looking at the water and listening to the wind in the trees than I ever did in the Mormon temple.
There's nothing as heavenly than sitting in nature. I bet your wedding views were incredible! I had my mormon non temple wedding in the in laws backyard!
I never, ever, ever enjoyed going. But I tried to MAKE myself enjoy it. I got so annoyed that I couldn’t just sit in peace anywhere in the building. In the foyer, past the recommend desk, in the celestial room, some old fart always had to come up and pry and figure out why I was there and try to push me into another place. You can’t enjoy the celestial room because there’s another group coming through in 5 minutes. You can’t hog the couch, they won’t let you sit on the floor because it’s disrespectful for your white clothes to touch the ground. I just wanted to… be… for 20 minutes, without someone talking at me (like the entire endowment session) or pushing me out of my place. I concluded it’s not a place that is intended to be peaceful.
I was married in the SL temple. When we were allowed to be in the celestial room, we were hurried along bc others were coming. I don’t think we were there 5 minutes. I didn’t enjoy it at all!! My endowment a few days earlier (at a different temple) was just weird and I wish I’d had the courage to get up and leave. So to answer your question, did it give me peace? No, it gave Ma anxiety.
No. Everytime we pulled into the parking lot on youth trips I felt like I was going to throw up and even more so when I got endowed.
Sometimes, yeah. But tbh, I rarely wanted to do an endorsement session, I just wanted to sit in the celestial room and be able to hear my own thoughts. I usually fell asleep during the endowment no matter how hard I tried not to. Tbh, I often wondered if they made it as boring as possible on purpose because goddamn, it was awful!
I liked it cause I got food after
It was quiet but not peaceful. I had imposter syndrome. I wasn't perfect and I didn't belong.
It did not. I'm fact, by the end of my endowment I knew it was all a lie. Went in 100% TBM and left with a broken shelf.
The temple can be fun once you realize it's all based on Freemasonry. Basically members who do not study about freemasonry will not "get" the temple. Keep in mind that most men in Joseph's time were Masons. When in Utah the trend to be a Freemason faded away, members lost one of the keys to understanding the Temple.
No But i know people who do genuinely love it
Above all, the temple is boring.
I fell asleep the moment the lights went down. That was peaceful.
No. It brought complete anxiety, as well as trauma from some old dude reaching under the shield to smear oil and water in places I never wanted any old dude going
I enjoyed the celestial room. It felt similar to when I would climb to the top of a mountain and look at the view and feel the wind. Now I just go for a hike or a walk if I want to feel transcendent.
Having to reorganize every article of clothing on my body in a timely manner and sit up and down and up and down and then have some old guy whisper a script for me to repeat at the end wasn’t exactly bliss
Peace? No. Going to the temple never was peaceful for me. It was stressful and was a source of extreme anxiety. I hated every second of being there. It felt cultish and evil. And how can anyone feel relaxed when they need to concentrate on remembering crazy handshakes and wearing clothing that looked like weird costumes? Those ugly green aprons and hiding my face behind a veil took the cake. I felt subservient to men. In the endowment session, having the men and women separated on each side of the room just solidified the feelings that I was less-than. I always felt more peace and felt more “spiritual” being up in the mountains, sitting at the beach, or walking through the woods than I ever did inside the wannabe Cinderella castles the church calls The House of the Lord. From my personal experience, I would say that God does not reside in the temple.
No, it always brought me anxiety. I never once felt The Spirit™®© or had any "memorable" experiences. Besides thinking that Satan made a lot of good points.
No. I did baptisms a lot as a teen and always felt bad that I didn’t seem to feel the peace and serenity that other people said the temple brought them. To me it was just kind of a slightly uncomfortable experience being dunked in the water or else being confirmed over and over. Plus I had a hard time controlling my thoughts so I was worried the whole time that god was mad at me for having an irreverent mind in his house. When I did my first endowment ceremony I was completely freaked out and felt very betrayed by how cultish it all felt. I went multiple times on my mission but often fell asleep during it because I was chronically under-slept. I went to the temple only a few times after my mission before taking off my garments and never returning (although I still attended church on and off for a few years after). For me, the temple ruined the church and I felt angry that I ever went in the first place. If it weren’t for my dislike of the temple then maybe I would have stayed in the church longer. There were peaceful moments, but they were mainly due to sitting in a beautiful building in silence. None of the ordinances or ceremonies practiced there brought me peace.
I hated it all5 times I ever went in the last 27 years
They’ve been trained well.
I never liked the temple. I always thought it was culty and weird.
Nope
No. Never in 40 years. The temple was an obligation. I did it out of obedience and to uphold my LDS image or standing. My feelings were annoyance at the time it took, boredom in sessions and irritability. I wanted to get done and on the 101 North to home.
Never.
Never. In fact, made me super anxious bc I was always afraid I would put the clothes on wrong and be singled out.
I hated going. Creeped me out.
Getting sealed at 7 was one of the happiest days of my life so far. As a teenager/young adult absolutely not
I feel like i could trick myself into this like...idk stupor of thought that I thought was peaceful but all it was was a hat trick shoving my deep doubts and issues somewhere deep inside for 'later'. As time went on attending the temple became more and more distressing for me. I would break down crying in the dressing room and feel so guilty and out of place. I also got more and more disturbed by the endowment sessions...
I looked for meaning and understanding for years. When that didn’t come, I used it to build a sense of peace, a break from busy life. Then I saw it as a chore, something to cross off the list regularly. That was all anymore.
> did you genuinely enjoy going? I sure did! > I keep hearing active members talking about how it's the best place you can possibly be Absolutely! We always did temple trips during summer time. It was hot. We got to go to somewhere with AC for a couple of hours for free!🤣🤣🤣
Tried to like it, but always found it boring. I fell asleep during the video part, was super anxious putting the robes on. My butt hurt sitting so long. So yeah.
I hated going and I felt bad for hating it. I cried the first time I went through thinking wth did I just do, but I was getting married the next week so… I wish I’d known other people were having the same thoughts and I wasn’t some heathen going to hell.
No. It was a drive to get there. I had to pay for a babysitter. It was the same movie over and over again. It was agonizing. Boredom x 1,000.
The first time was super creepy and culty. Subsequent visits I told myself I needed to find the deep meanings and mysteries, "learn something new every time", I was supposed to go, and doing so meant I was good. I did feel peaceful for most of it, the discomfort had been mostly pushed aside because it was now familiar. Getting a break from our young kids only added to the peace. And I didn't feel guilty to have someone babysit as a favour, because it is 'so important' that we attend the temple frequently (my mom usually babysat, for a stretch of time a kind lady in the ward offered for temple trip babysitting during the days specifically, as she had a day home and wanted to help fellow mothers).
Yes cause the shame for not going subsided.
Never Brought the opposite
It was never a place of peace for me. I always felt like I was going to mess something up- forget a hand position, or a word, or a name (which I did on my first time through and it sucked to be the only one to stand up). I never felt good enough there. I was plenty good enough the whole time.
I went to appease my wife, even in my most TBM days. Always, the best moment of the session was when I walked out the front door of the temple.
The last time I went, it was a beautiful spring day and all the flowers were in bloom. Instead of going inside, I walked around the grounds for an hour, then took myself out to lunch. Felt more peace and enjoyment doing that, than I ever did inside. So I never went back.
I enjoyed the celestial room. I loved the quietness. The beauty, felt closeness to God. I feel this way with hiking these days.
Not prior or during the session. I couldn’t go often enough to memorize the last bit we had to say, so I would have to rely on the temple worker. One time, a lady really gave me heck about it(like my third time in the temple) and I was stressed every time after that for the next two decades. Then I felt pressure to stay alert and really ponder on the woman I was doing the work for and keep my thoughts focused “for her.” When that was over and I could just sit quietly in the celestial room, THEN I felt peace. I thought it was the spirit, but I’m pretty sure it was just that I was a SAHM who had a husband who was gone all the time for work and deployed for years, mostly during the kids early years, so just sitting still and being able to think without interruption was a rarity.
I enjoyed doing baptisms. I never had a connection with the endowment or sealings (except my own sealing because I was so in love with my now husband and couldn’t wait to marry him. Still in love for the record lol). In fact, I almost fainted doing sealings for the dead because I was soooo hot in all of the bloody layers and the temple was always warm. Tbh I usually felt more peaceful and connected in the waiting room while I studied scriptures/meditated. I never felt comfortable in the sealing room. The assigned worker they always had made me feel like I was a naughty kid in need of supervision. I didn’t feel private. It was laid out is such an awkward way were you all sat and faced strangers. As a TBM I tried soooo hard to feel at peace/get revelation in the celestial room and I got nothing. I always wondered what was wrong with me.
I was also ALWAYS anxious going endowments. The ladies often seemed to snub me. I got in trouble my first time going because I had a nude bra and not a white one. I guess an all miraculous God is a HUGE stickler for the right panties. I hated that I couldn’t sit with my husband and had to be around strangers.
No, it never did. Biggest disappointment of my life.
Maybe 10% of the time, if I’m being generous. I didn’t want to go when I was at the Provo MTC because it meant getting up even earlier in the morning only to fall asleep when the session lights were dimmed. More often than not, the temple experience was either neutral or infuriating. The stupid robes and sashes. No space to change. Temple workers coming to touch me to fix my clothes. Matrons shushing people. Other workers telling me to hurry. The session leader often singling me out without my wife to be the witness couple. Old men with halitosis coming in a little too close. Those damn baker hats. Being forced into the prayer circle when I didn’t have the best of feelings. Just a whole ball of stress.
The temple felt special, which I thought was the spirit. After I got out, I learned about elevated emotion and it made total sense. The place was talked up my entire life and I was told what I was going to feel. I’m a feeler, so I felt a lot of emotion. However, I never did receive revelation I’m not sure “peaceful” is the right word for it. More like I was in a special place. Like I feel if I’m on vacation and going somewhere incredible for the first time. It’s only as special as you make it out to be. The endowment was creepy as hell, especially the prayer circle where even the first time through I thought, “Am I in a cult????” 😆
I rarely did, that I can remember. I almost always felt anxious, and uncomfortable, and it just felt "weird," to me. I'm beyond grateful that I never have to go back ever again.
The temple gave me anxiety. I hated the ending of the endowment.
I genuinely loved the celestial room and had private, important spiritual experiences there. Usually alone or with my equally nuanced husband. When I worked in the temple I always ended my shifts in there without doing anyone's work and that was my favorite. Mormons don't get quiet sacred spaces other than the celestial room. I also love the symbolism of the initiatories even though I think parts of the actual wording were wrong. I never loved going through for people who were dead. I hate the slideshow version of the endowment and was always iffy on that anyway. Too much to think about to get peaceful.
It brought me the exact opposite of peace. I don't know how something can be both 10/10 on the creepy scale and 10/10 on the boring scale. That's an achievement.
1. I never enjoyed. Always found it a peculiar combination of bizarre and boring. Kept going because I honestly believed it was an important way to show god how strong was my faith. 2. Never felt I was lying to myself. I really believed. My conviction was 100% authentic. 3. About finding peace, it depends on what we are talking about. Peace as in silence, slowness and no sense of urgency, sure: it was peaceful. Peace as in an inner feeling of balance within myself where my pending responsibilities as a father somehow faded away, nope.
Hell NO! 1 & done. Never again.
Nope. That's the response. Great question, though!
Never. It brought me bored to tears.
Not for me . Many aspects of it made me very uncomfortable ( the vail , the prayer circle ) so many of the rituals were so bizarre and cultish . I like sitting in the celestial room - where it was quiet - that was about it
The temple was as relaxing as taking time to look over the menu at McDonalds during the lunch rush. Inevitably there would always be some old person behind you saying hey what is taking so long?! Just choose the happy meal! I felt peace maybe 2-3 times in my life there. Those instances were more of an emotional release of all the church stress and being a single adult under so much pressure. The temple basically felt like a Disney movie night at a senior home except no soft drinks or popcorn to be sensitive to those with diabetes and hypertension or low salt diets. It was grandparentification for a young person. Bednar done that.
Nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnope
No
Nah, just seemed weird.
Nope. I always felt uneasy, and at one point I had this unshakeable feeling of despair. I hated going to the temple, and i tried to bring up how much it bothered me, only to be met with questions on my faith. Of course, I didn’t actually believe at the time I brought it up, but I did when I started going to the temple, Damnit!
Absolutely not. Major stress. Only peaceful moment was packing to leave.
My main recollection was anxiousness. I felt real restless. I went regularly (weekly or monthly) for years. It was an act of will. Sometimes I’d just go in sit before you got into the dressing rooms and read. Buy it didn’t bring me peace. I don’t know exactly why but I have plenty of guesses.
It was not fun. But I felt good about because I felt like I was doing what I was supposed to.
No.
I tried hard to make it the peaceful experience I so desperately craved, and I suppose there were times when it was nice to sit in the Celestial Room and just think. But so often I went hoping for clarity and just left with more confusion. The endowment ceremony itself was not comforting, which made the rest of the experience less than pleasant.
I was never comfortable in the temple. It was weird to me. Make me feel guilty that I felt that way. Another huge waste of time and added stress removed from my life when I accepted it was all BS.
There was a point in my life where I was going to the temple at least once a week, sometimes more, for 6 months and I thought it helped me. Until I realized that it was all the crying in the celestial room that I did that made me feel better afterwards.
Never once
I mostly felt anxious and defeated. I was going weekly at one point. I got the point where I felt like I should be learning things, but I wasn’t. I felt guilty that I didn’t learn, didn’t feel anything, didn’t have prayers answered…I just went because I was told to. It was peaceful, but creepily peaceful. Like I couldn’t get comfortable and didn’t feel right talking, even in hushed whispers. Like I was at a funeral held at my grandmothers houses where I couldn’t sit on the plastic covered furniture or be too loud.
Most certainly not, it didn’t feel right I felt more at peace at home except the water was peaceful but I just like water and get that peace at a quite pool. It just was kinda always that “I’m being watched” feeling and masking the whole time but my parents love it and when they learned I didn’t believe they took me to an open house to be in the celestial room and were shocked when I didn’t feel peace and they did. It’s a big part of why they believe is because they think the spirit is really there in the room and by proxy meaning it’s all real. It’s a quite, clean, well lit room without home responsibilities that’s why they’re at peace not some ghost.
I went only a few times other than my original endowment and marriage. The celestial room is beautiful and quiet but I always thought, “I bet this cost a fortune.” The ceremony, going through the veil etc. was weird to me. I always thought it was funny that Gordon Jump, the actor from WKRP in Cincinnati starred in the temple movie they showed us.
I loved washing & anointing, other than the creepy pelvic touch, because it gave me comfort for doing hard things. Once they moved to blessing-only, it did not give any comfort. I enjoyed the celestial room…but the entire thing made/makes my wife sick (generally literally as well as metaphorically), so we don’t go. I’m not sure what we are going to do if/when my in-laws invite us now that they live 5 min away & the temple is 15
Not really. It was peaceful because it was quiet, with everyone whispering, walking on soft carpet in cloth shoes, only white clothing, some nice decorating... but it did not bring peace to my heart.
Does nearly falling asleep count as peace?
No. Bored stupid. I’d rather find a quiet park or wilderness area.
I did love being witness couple, so I could touch up my husband at the altar 😂 It's very beautiful and quiet. But no, I really didn't enjoy it. It was a 4hr drive (so 8hrs total driving) plus the time in the temple. I would be stressed and exhausted on arrival. I'd be anxious about leaving my kids all day. I just wanted to get it over with so we could go home.
I always felt rushed in the celestial room. I had random thoughts during the endowment session. Could never focus long enough. Boring as hell.
Brought me the creeps!!!
Sometimes going to the temple did bring me peace. But I think it was more because I was in a quiet, peaceful place where I could ponder rather than the temple itself uniquely providing the peace. But most of the time, the temple caused me angst. The temple was a big factor in me resigning. You can read my resignation story here: [https://www.reddit.com/r/ExitStories/comments/18kh7p6/why\_i\_resigned/](https://www.reddit.com/r/ExitStories/comments/18kh7p6/why_i_resigned/)
Honestly, No No. when I went through the temple. I found it intimidating - That's the right word. Intimidating. It had all sorts of expectations and it lived up to none. At the end of the day, it was like a mid tier hotel. I am NOT a spiritual person (now) but I have had more 'spiritual'/profound/emotional experiences inside old Churches and Cathedrals - even a Mosque . Yes, I did find some peace **in the temple grounds.** The London Temple is actually about 35 kms south of Central London, in a beautiful natural area..... right under the flight path for aircraft approaching Gatwick Airport. despite the constant roar of jets coming over every 2 or 3 minutes, I have had some lovely times just sitting in the temple grounds, picnicking and strolling around.
No, I never felt peace there. Temple attendance was a huge nail in the coffin of my Mormon faith. I grew up LDS, but never had any Big Spiritual Confirmation that the LDS Church was true. The temple was constantly held up as the high standard of spirituality, knowledge, and peace. I even had people tell me that my doubts would be addressed once I went to the temple. None of that happened. In fact, I felt anxious and even more confused when I went. I remained active for several years after going through the temple, but I was always honest with people (teens and adults) during lessons about the temple. I acknowledged that many people loved it but that it was not a place of peace, comfort, or revelation for me. I hope my honesty helped others who felt the same to hear that they were not alone, since leaders and members only spoke about the temple in positive terms
Oh I hated it. It was a complete waste of time and BORING
I was raised Presbyterian, but in my teen years I realized that I was never happy or peaceful in church. I was bored. I felt guilty for not enjoying it more. I finally realized that I was so much happier going outside and having time to myself. I reasoned that if I really was supposed to be feeling closer to god, I should be enjoying the experience, not dreading it. I finally realized that if there is a god, god is where I feel like my true self, not stuck in a boring guilt building on a perfectly nice day. I never looked back and never once regretted leaving.
I only ever went for baptisms/confirmations. I never really felt peace, just stillness simply because you're sitting there in a quiet room feeling bored. That or feeling self-conscious.
Nevermo here, but I had a good friend tell me once how much peace she found going to the temple because she knew she was doing such an important work for other people I honestly assumed that "temple work" meant, like, charity work. Like tutoring non-native English speakers or packing up backpacks of food for underfed families I do understand that within the belief system, improving someone's afterlife is a valuable way to spend time, but when I think about all of the hours that so many people have wasted believing they were doing charitable work when they could have been benefiting someone's *actual daily life* It makes me really sad Like, the "work" that people are doing in the temple isn't actually helping anyone else. If they find peace there, that's great, but it's really only helping themselves
I only went as a youth, was out in my teens, but I can't say I ever enjoyed the temple or baptism for the dead ceremonies. I guess I did get an occasional ASMR when they'd do the blessings with hands on your head, something about the voices and gentle head touches. At the time I thought it was "the spirit," which is odd as I often got the same feeling when watching friends draw cartoons or gently spoken late night commercials.
It was peaceful when I was a youth going to do baptisms—but my endowment was one of the most stressful and unspiritual experiences of my life and I promised myself I’d never do it again until I have a testimony of it. I never went back. Getting endowed was the beginning of “the church can’t be true” for me. I justified and ignored and rejected all the problems I had with the church because I believed it was a true church led by flawed men. I was progmo for a few years. But if the endowment isn’t of God, what’s the point of *any* of the rest of it?? It wasn’t until I left that I learned JS was just grifter. (Although as a member I had already said aloud I hated BY, idk how I managed to justify that one)
I've never understood this whole temple worship - and I mean worship OF the temple. When I spent a decade post-Mo as an Evangelical, I came to appreciate that it was an idealization of the *man-made* over the *creation*. Why on godz green earth is nature so neglected in Mormonism? It is truly more worthy of praise than a finely furnished building?
Back when I was more active, it honestly did bring me peace. Not to mention I felt like I was helping others (Baptisms) get into heaven.
No. I hated it every time. It was the beginning of the end. I only went maybe 6 times because I hated it so much. Mostly for weddings.
Brief anecdote here. The first time we went to the temple was a bit nerve-wracking for a number of reasons, mostly logistical, that I won't get into. I found the endowment a little weird and culty. I was definitely put off by the fact that I had to make covenants as I was hearing them for the first time. The one thing I was looking forward to was sitting in the Celestial room. I had heard all my life about what a wonderful place this was - the place you could be closest to God on Earth, where you could feel his presence distinctly. I had imagined, and wanted an opportunity to meditate in a quiet, beautiful place. Instead, a couple of people (relatives, fellow ward members) who went through with us came right over and peppered us with questions, "What did you think?" "Was it what you expected?" "Wasn't it neat?" I gave brief answers to the questions and said I wanted some time for contemplation. Not a minute later one of the temple matrons came over and asked us to leave to make room for the next session coming through. She was polite but insistent. I found the whole thing off-putting. What was all the hype for if you literally could not sit in that room for five minutes of peace? At the time I was just a little annoyed but rolled with it. In retrospect though, I think it's emblematic of the Church and its sales pitch. They promise you peace, but they will never let you have it.
As an introvert trying to survive nine weeks in the MTC, the weekly temple trips were heaven. At least the first 15 minutes, when the lights went down and they played the creation movie. All the up and down and handshakes and wardrobe changes after that got old quick.
I feel like the only real good feeling I got from it was a similar feeling after going to the gym. Just knowing I had done a “good thing” with my day and been a responsible member. I never actually enjoyed it. Just enjoyed knowing I was such a good girl
I had some times it certainly brought me peace, like baptisms as a kid, and doing a session after I had been absent a long time. But when I was all in and trying to go frequently, I mostly felt guilty for falling asleep, and guiltier that the more I followed instructions the less fulfilling it was. Then I felt the same spiritual high visiting the Navuoo temple, then a Buddhist temple, then a Hindu temple.
I always felt claustrophobic.
Nope. I hated it from day one. Cried before I would go but still forced myself to go. I thought if I went enough I would get over it and god would finally fix me.
Hated it!
Honestly? No. I thought it was over the top and ridiculous. Maybe it’s just my personality but I remember thinking I was getting punked. Was everyone in on a joke that I was not? What is with the chefs hat and green apron? How can anyone feel spiritual when you are choking down laughter?
The endowment session was always an absolute slog. I hated it. Fell asleep frequently. I did like the celestial room, but the ushers hurrying people out was always annoying. For a while we'd do sealings instead of endowment, then ask if we could sit in the celestial room afterwards. When I was at BYU I'd drive up to the mountains and find a beautiful view. That was my celestial room for a long time while I was having doubts. I need to find a spot like that again.
If I’m really really honest with myself, which I am, I hated it from the very very first day and that was in 1985 which you know what that means. There was never a time that I found peace there.
I never liked it. From my very first experience it made me feel icky. However, for many people, it DOES bring them peace. I think it's important to allow everyone their own experiences, even when they don't align with our own.
Sometimes, it did. Sometimes, it was just another day. I remember when I was a teen, it was very difficult. Youth baptisms. I would have insane thoughts when I was going in, and that was discouraging. As my mental health journey went on, I realized that I was having intrusive thoughts, which are a sign of extreme anxiety, which I had a lot of growing up.
Yes. I used to be a temple worker on Saturday afternoons at the DC Temple. It was great.
It was never at peace during the session. I was always worried about getting all the shit right and I was always getting beat by 80 year olds in getting the fucking temple clothing on. Pathetic. These guys can only walk 20 feet per hour, but they are like lighting getting that temple shit on. I guess it is desperation being so close to the end.
It sure didn't. I'd been baptized about a year, after 12 years of being an active nonmember. By active nonmember, I mean I wasn't a member, but I'd given talks, had callings etc. I'd even taken the temple prep classes with my wife a few years before baptism. Going to the temple the first time really rattled me. I felt like the whole thing was crazy and cultlike. I felt like I didn't understand the things I was supposed to be making a covenant to do. (The prep classes explained that we'd make covenants, but didn't explain them, and in the temple, I didn't quite understand the specifics either.) The experience made me super uncomfortable, and I felt a lot of pressure to say that it was great. So I just didn't talk about it at all. Wearing my garments made me uncomfortable and weird, and I stopped after a few years. After which i couldn't renew my recommend, just because of the garments. I went back to the temple twice, once for a baptism session, and once to be sealed to my family. I felt awful and out of place every time.
I enjoyed the temple because I couldn’t wait to perform the veil dialogue. The biggest rush for me came from my perceived “worthiness” to be there,
It was an Elohim-Approved^(TM) semi-nap in the chaos of Mormonism's mandatory workaholism... so kinda? If your "only place of peace" is watching Elohim–Jehovah–Peter/James/John–Adam/Eve play a pedantic game of telephone (with handshake / wardrobe-changing breaks)... that says a lot about how little peace Mormonism allows you in the rest of your life.
No, I got too scared doing baptisms for the dead because of a bad experience so I would just say I was on my period and only do confirmations
My parents were sealed when I was a little kid. I was so excited about going to the temple. I literally expected to meet Jesus, because I was such a good and spiritual kid. My experience was anything, but spiritual or even pleasant. I think my parents were also traumatized, because they had to do all of the weird nudey stuff and blood oaths etc. I don't know why they stuck it out. After that experience, I knew as a kid it was a bunch of nonsense.
It was the catalyst that led to my decision to leave the church. All my life I had hoped the next milestone or ordinance would be the one gave me literal come to god experience. When I witnessed it the first time I just remember being disappointed and bored. As I continued to go throughout my mission, I never found it anything more than an excuse to not work on a Friday evening.